Help Me Lose My Mind
by probablyprocrastinating
Summary: Merder au 1/3
1. Chapter 1

_Hi guys! Ok, so, I'm doing something I told myself I would never do, and I'm posting a new fic without finishing my last. I know I haven't updated Stone Cold in ages, and I will be finishing it. I just need something else to focus on when my writer's block kicks in. I've found writing the next chapter really difficult, but hopefully after taking a break it will be easier._

 _This fic is totally different and not dark at all. It's just full of angst and fluff. I've written quite a bit of it already, and hope to update either this or Stone Cold once a week (..you never know with college work- but I will try my best!)_

 _Thank you for being so patient with me and I hope you enjoy this fic just as much- if not more._

Talk to me and watch me crumble

You will see you got mine down

 _Faithfully I will look over_

 _There I'll find what you've become_

 _You help me lose my mind_

 _And you believe something I can't define_

 _Help me lose my mind, make me run back_

 _What if all before_

 _Keep, I need more time_

 _How much longer_

 _Who I've been waiting for_

 _Jealousy will be washed over_

 _Carefully we look on through_

 _Could it be easy to start over_

 _Somehow I will bring you too_

 _You help me lose my mind_

 _And you believe something I can't define_

 _Help me lose my mind, make me run back_

 _What if all before_

 _Keep, I need more time_

 _How much longer_

 _Who I've been waiting for_

 _Who I've been waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _I've been waiting waiting waiting_

 _You help me lose my mind_

 _And you believe something I can't define_

 _Help me lose my mind, make me run back_

 _What if all before_

 _Keep, I need more time_

 _How much longer_

 _Who I've been waiting for_

 _(How much longer)_

'Did I miss much?' mumbled a dirty blonde haired petite, pretty, looking girl, who slumped herself in the seat next to him in the relatively full lecture hall, putting a can of monster on the desk.

'Oh.' He breathed, looking up, enchanted by her glistening green eyes. He couldn't stop looking at them. She was hungover, he could tell that. Her body language, lack of punctuality and pale skin made that pretty obvious, but her eyes were just beautiful. He could get lost in them forever. But he couldn't. He had to answer her question. 'No.' he shook his head.

'Good.' She replied, digging a note pad out of her bag and a pen from her jacket pocket. She was over thirty minutes late into a two hour lecture, the first lecture of the semester, of the whole year, in fact. Of course she'd missed much. But she just seemed so carefree and unbothered, and she was really, really beautiful. In a matter of seconds, her demeanour had gone from careless hungover girl, to a concentrated pre-med student, her eyes focused on Dr Alexander in front of them.

He knew that's where he should be focusing too, but he just could not tare his eyes off her. Until he heard a surge in laughter within the hall, and realised he had no clue what was being said, and so definitely needed to take his attention off the fascinating girl next to him, and take it back to his neuro professor. His train of thought had completely gone, which wasn't what he had intended on his first day of college, but he hadn't exactly planned to encounter such a beautiful girl.

All the way through the lecture, she was making notes, poising her pen, listening intently, and had she not walked in thirty minutes late with an energy drink in her hand, he could have easily thought her the smartest and most focused here. He looked around the hall to see his peers also making notes, listening to Dr Alexander, but none of them looked the way she did. None of them had the same concentration in their stunning green eyes, or held their pens so readily to write with their slim, long fingers.

He didn't even know her name. He wondered what it would be. She didn't look like a Leah. Or a Megan. Or an Elizabeth, or even an Isabelle. He didn't know what she looked like. But he was simply fascinated by her, and he didn't know why. She was wearing plain blue jeans and a purple sweater with a white shirt underneath, her hair in a messy ponytail, and extremely light make up, if any at all. She looked simple. Which made no sense when she came into the first ever lecture half an hour late with a can of monster, as she was obviously not simple.

Three minutes before the end of the lecture, he felt his heart begin to race as he watched the clock. Maybe she would start talking to him or something. He could feel his palms getting sweaty and he ran a hand through his hair. He could do this. She was just a girl. Just a girl. A really, really, beautiful intelligent girl. But still a girl all the same. Just a girl. But girls weren't his strong point. They were Mark's strong point, but not his. He'd had a brief girlfriend during high school, and dated a couple of girls before college, but girls were definitely not his strong point. His thoughts were suddenly cut when he saw people getting up to leave, and turned to see she'd already left, and was half way up the stairs.

It didn't surprise him really. Girls like her weren't interested in guys like him.

He was on his way back to his dorm, when a guy who had been sat a couple of rows in front of him came over.

'Tim.' He smiled, offering his hand.

'Derek.' He replied, shaking it.

'What did you think of Alexander then?'

'Good.'

'Not into neuro?'

'What?'

'Well, I'm a only doing pre-med because I got good grades and my mom said getting a med degree would be good and even I'm in awe of that dude. And that class was insane! Any guy interested in neuro would probably be peeing their pants right now if he's one of our bio 101 professors.'

'Oh.' Nodded Derek. 'I am into neuro. I think it's my favourite.'

'You're kidding right?'

'No.'

'You're into neuro and think Dr George Alexander is 'good'?' Tim laughed.

'I thought he was great.'

'Don't sound too enthusiastic.'

'No, really. He was great. The first thirty minutes were amazing, but I guess I got a bit distracted.'

'What's her name?'

'What?' he frowned, confused.

'Neuro guy gets distracted when neuro God is in front of him for two whole hours- Got to be a girl.'

'Oh.'

'So, what's her name?'

'Oh, I don't.. I don't know.'

'That sucks man.'

'I know.' Derek sighed.

'You'll have to point her out to me when we next have class.'

'Oh…. Yeah.'

'So, where you from?' asked Tim, as they neared the dorms building.

'New York. What about you?'

'New York? Wow. Boston.'

'Nice.'

'If you're from New York then why Dartmouth?'

'Fancied a change.'

'hmmmm, nice.'

'you in here?' Derek asked as they approached the building.

'Yeah, room 120.'

'Oh, third floor?'

'yeah.'

'I'm 134.'

'Sweet.' Grinned Tim. 'Your roommate okay?'

'Yeah, well…' began Derek. 'He's my brother. Followed me here all the way from Manhattan.'

'Oh, nice.'

'Yeah, pain in my ass.' He laughed.

'Good to have someone you know here though.'

'You haven't met Mark.'

'True.' Tim laughed.

'What about your roommate?'

'Yeah, Dexter. He's nice.'

'That's good.'

'Yeah.'

'Anyway, I'll probably see you tomorrow.' Said Derek as they reached the third floor, and Derek his room.

'See you, Derek.' Tim replied, continuing down the corridor.

He walked through his dorm and into his kitchen where Mark was sat with a beer.

'Hey.' Derek smiled.

'Hey man.'

'You seriously on the booze already?'

'Hey, this is college life, Shep.'

'Yeah, and it's four in the afternoon.'

'So?'

'You're ridiculous.' Derek half sighed, half laughed.

'I think you'll find that's you my friend.'

'Yeah, okay.' He rolled his eyes.

'How was class? You had Alexander, right?'

'Yeah, it was good.'

'Good?'

'Yeah, it was good.'

'Shep, you've been all gaga googoo over neuro since forever and you just had a class with Dr Alexander and it was 'good'?'

'Why is everyone saying that?'

'Everyone?'

'Doesn't matter.'

'So, it was only 'good'?'

'It was an introductory lecture.' Derek shrugged. 'They're never the most exciting.'

'But this is Dr Alexander- you've been fangirling over him since like what, tenth grade?'

'I do not fangirl.'

'Okay, you keep telling yourself that.'

'Shut up.'

'Seriously man, what's up with you?'

'Nothing's up with me.' He said, moving to the fridge and pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

'Something is definitely up with you.'

'It's definitely not.'

'Derek you've been blabbing on about Alexander for as long as I can remember, and now you've just actually had a class with him and said it was 'good'- Dr freaking Alexander- was 'good', Derek.'

'Will you just give it a rest, for once Mark? Please?' he groaned, moving to his room and slamming the door.

He slumped on his bed after placing his juice on his bedside table. He just couldn't get her out of his head, and he didn't know why. There was just something about her that he could not get out of his brain. He couldn't stop thinking about the way her hair fell in her soft ponytail, or her slim, long fingers poising her pen as Dr Alexander spoke. She was something else. He'd seen a lot of girls in his time, being so close to Mark kind of made that inevitable. But he's seen a lot of 'hot' girls, a lot of 'smokin' girls, and a lot of girls that Mark put under similar categories. But never had he seen a girl like her. She was just beautiful. And he could tell that she wasn't even trying to be. She was different. She was dressed very modestly and plainly, yet there was just something about her that he couldn't put his finger on that he was attracted to. He just needed to know her name. And to pluck up the courage to talk to her next time they had a neuro class.

He'd been at Dartmouth for four days, and in that time, Mark had mainly drank, as to be expected, while he'd been reading. He'd been reading a lot, trying to catch up on the stuff he'd missed in his break. He'd taken three years out between high school and college, as had Mark, due to his dad's illness. They were told it was terminal five years ago, and so when Derek and Mark graduated from high school a year later, they decided to spend as much time with him as possible. And so instead of going to college, went to work at his hardware store. While it meant they got to spend every day with their dad until he died just over a year ago, it did put him at quite a disadvantage starting college with a load of kids fresh out of education. In the year after his dad's passing, Derek tried to start some reading, but he often couldn't concentrate.

Trying to take care of his mom and sisters had taken it's toll, and it was even difficult to leave them for Dartmouth. But his mother had insisted that he had already given up a year of his life looking after them, and it was time he and Mark did their dad proud and started school again. Not that Derek thought he could have coped with school at all last year, he probably would have failed anyway.

He glanced at the clock next to his bed, it was almost six and he was starving. He'd eaten some fruit for breakfast and a salad for lunch at about twelve, but now he was really hungry. And he was pretty sure the only thing Mark had in was pizza.

'Hey,' said Derek, walking out from his room and into the kitchen. 'Have we got any-' he was cut off by the sight of Mark making out with a girl practically lay on top of her on the couch. 'Never mind.' He mumbled, grabbing his coat off the back of a chair.

'Hey Shep.' Said Mark breathlessly, looking up.

'Bye.' He nodded, walking out the door as Mark got back to groping the brunette underneath him.

Derek sighed. He was in a really strange mood. He had really liked college the four days he'd been here. He wasn't homesick. That wasn't it. He wanted to be here, he really did. He wanted to be a doctor and he wanted to learn. But today he just felt in a really strange mood. And he just wished he knew that girl's name.

He wandered down the corridor, trying to remember what room Tim had said he was in. 120, he was sure. He knocked on the door and a slim guy with red hair answered.

'Hey.'

'Hi, is Tim there?'

'Yeah, come in.' the guy said, and Derek followed. 'I'm Dexter.'

'Hi, Dexter. I'm Derek, I'm from Tim's neuro class.'

'Oh, another doctor geek.' He laughed.

'Yeah.' Derek laughed too, entering the kitchen where Tim was sat on his phone.

'Derek.'

'Hey.'

'I see you've met resident artist here Dexter.'

'Art? Seriously?' breathed Derek.

'Yeah.' Nodded Dexter.

'That's really cool.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem.'

'What's up?' Asked Tim.

'Nothing, just wondered if you fancied hanging out, getting food or something?'

'Sure, sounds good.' He smiled.

'I'm down for that.' Nodded Dexter.

'There's a place round the corner, near the IS building that do really nice stuff, fancy there?' said Tim.

'sure.'

'Yeah, let me just grab a jacket.' Said Dexter, heading to his room, leaving Tim and Derek alone for a minute.

'How you doing?'

'Good. You?'

'Yeah, I'm good. Have you started the reading for Alexander yet?'

'Reading?'

'Reading.' Tim laughed.

'What reading?'

'Dude, that chick really fucked you up.'

'What chick fucked him up?' said Dexter, coming out of his room in a beige jacket.

'nothing.' Said Derek, shaking his head.

'A girl in neuro today. Totally fucked Shep up.'

'Rack?' said Dexter, raising his eyebrows.

'Rack?' echoed Derek, confused.

'Did she have a nice rack?' Dexter clarified as they headed out of the dorm onto the corridor.

'Oh. Er… I guess… I mean… I wasn't really looking at that particularly… but yeah…'

'You weren't looking at her rack?'

'Well….. no, not really.' He stammered and he could feel himself going bright red.

'Was she hot?'

'Well… yeah but not in a hot way..'

'Hot but not in a hot way?' laughed Tim.

'She was beautiful.' Derek breathed.

'Woah,' laughed Dexter. 'Did you just say beautiful?'

'She was!' Derek protested.

'Are we sure _you're_ not a chick?' chuckled Tim.

'shut up.' Groaned Derek.

'Man, this is serious.' Tim said. 'You've fallen for her and you don't even know her name.'

'You don't know her name?' asked Dexter.

'No. I wish I did. She was beautiful. But I haven't fallen for her. That's impossible. I just… like.. her.' He nodded.

'You like her?' Dexter said.

'Yeah.'

'And you don't even know her….' Added Tim.

'I know. But I can't, I can't explain it. Okay? I just… I don't know.'

'Dude, you're in deep.' Dexter laughed as he opened the door to the diner.

Derek sighed. He really didn't know what was wrong with him. It was impossible to have fallen for a girl you don't even know. And even if it was, he hadn't. You couldn't love someone you didn't know. And he didn't know her. But he wanted to. He really wanted to. He wanted to hear her voice, her laugh, he wanted to know everything about her. And he couldn't wait for his next neuro class.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys, thank you so much for reading and your positive feedback on this new story. I am really enjoying writing it so hope you enjoy reading it._

Derek scanned the full lecture theatre, his eyes trying to locate the dirty blonde from three days before, he sat in the exact same spot, hoping she was a creature of habit. However, seven minutes into Dr Alexander's class, she still had not appeared next to him, or anywhere else he could see for that matter. Maybe if she was late like last time, she would take up the vacant seat.

He gave up on her arrival and turned his attention back on his professor. He was talking about aneurisms, or at least that's what the assigned preparation reading had been on, Derek hadn't actually started listening yet. Ok, he would now. He would really focus. She wasn't even here to distract him and yet she was. No. He would focus on Dr. Alexander.

The class was unbelievably good, well, more like believably good. Last time, Derek had been far too caught up to pay attention and truly appreciate the neuro mastermind in front of him, whom he had admired for about six years now. He gathered his notes and stuffed them into the shoulder bag on the empty seat next to him, before taking a swig of water from his bottle, and turning to stand as they were dismissed. And that's when he saw her. She'd been sat on the back row by the looks of things, and was pretty much already out of the door. He quickened his pace and struggled through the crowd out of the hall. He followed the surge of people outside the building, the cold air hitting him sharply, he'd forgotten how cold it was this morning when he'd left.

He looked around eagerly trying to find her, but once again, she was out of sight. She'd been wearing black jeans, today. With a blue sweater and a white shirt underneath. That must be her typical look, he thought. Her hair had been drawn back into a messy ponytail, some bangs framing her face which didn't reach into her hairband.

He sighed and turned around, he might as well go the library and get some studying done for cardio while he had a couple of hours in between classes. He headed to the West of Campus, before reaching the library and situating himself in a secluded corner, pulling out the book of which he had to read 50 pages of by the following day. He sighed, underlining his title, and opening his book to page 63 when he heard a voice interrupt his empty thoughts.

'Oh, hey. You're in my biology neuro class right?' she said, pulling a book off the shelf and slumping herself down opposite him, not waiting upon invitation to join him.

'Oh.. yeah…' he stammered. 'I think…' he added, trying to play it cool.

'Alexander?'

'Yeah.' He breathed.

'Great. You can help me.'

'Oh, sure.'

'Meredith.' She said, extending her hand.

'Oh,' he breathed, before snapping out of his trance and shaking her hand in response. 'Derek.'

'Hi Derek.' She giggled. God, it was cute.

'Hi.' He smiled.

'Sorry. I've just realised I've totally interrupted you're studying.' She said, her eyes focusing on the chemistry book in front of him. 'Is that the Anderson reading? I've been meaning to start that for like the last two days, but I still haven't and I'm slightly freaking out. I also need to do the Neslon reading for my class at four, but I was really lost about something Alexander was going on about today, so I came to find a neuro book, and now you're here. And you're in my neuro. So if you're not like me and too hungover to take his aneurism talk, then you'll probably understand what he was talking about in reference to Mariott's research.'

He smiled, she was talking really fast.

'Yeah, I think I got it.'

'Oh thank God.' She said, pulling her notepad out of her bag.

'It's quite simple once you get your head around it.' He smiled at her.

'I hope so.' She laughed.

'I'm sure you'll get it no problem.' He said gently, shutting his chemistry book and reaching for his own notes out of his bag. 'Did you have a good night?' he asked, trying to make conversation best he could.

'What?' she said, looking up from her pencil case, getting out a blue biro.

'You said you were hungover…' he prompted softly.

'Oh, yeah. No.'

'Yeah, No?' he frowned, confused.

'No.' she giggled. 'It was alright I guess. But wasn't exactly a night to remember.'

'No?'

'No.' she sighed. 'And far too much tequila was consumed.'

He laughed. 'Awful stuff.'

'My favourite.' She grinned. 'It just leads to bad things.'

'Headaches in the morning?' he laughed.

'One of them, yes.'

'Have you taken any pain relief?'

'No, I have none in my dorm. I was going to call at the store by the LICA building on my way to class.'

'I have some.' He offered, reaching into his bag for his painkillers and bottle of water. 'There you go.' He smiled.

'Are you sure?' she said, hopefully.

'Certain.'

'Thank you, Derek.'

'You're welcome, Meredith. Have you had any food? That usually cures a good hangover.'

'No, I'm starved.' She sighed. 'I didn't wake up early enough to grab something before neuro, I was going to get a sandwich at the store too.'

'Do you want to go get something now? I don't mind going to the coffee shop opposite here and going through the Mariott stuff there?'

'No, it's fine, all your stuff is out. Besides, I've already disturbed you enough, you don't have to relocate for me.'

'Don't be stupid.' He smiled. 'It's fine. You look like you need it.'

'That wasn't very nice.' She pouted, before giggling again.

'Come on, do you want food or not?' he laughed.

'Only if you're sure?' she said, before placing Derek's pills into her mouth and washing them down with water, as he nodded in reply to her.

'Okay.' She said, handing him his bottle back. 'Thanks.' She smiled.

'No problem.'

Once they reached the coffee shop, Derek found them a table and sat down, getting his notes out again, while he waited for her to order something. She was really nice. Very bubbly, and giggly, and it was surprisingly easy to talk to her. His feelings of awe and fascination seemed to have changed into a more comfortable happiness in his stomach. She wasn't some untouchable girl he imagined her to be, she was really nice. And sat in a coffee shop, with him. And _she_ had recognised _him_ from neuro.

He glanced at her, talking to the barista, and smiled at the way she pointed to what she wanted off the board. She turned around, obviously looking for him in order to tell the barista where she was sat. He lifted his arm in attempt to get her attention. She smiled when she saw him, then turned back to the blond haired man behind the counter.

When she returned, she held two coffee cups in her hand.

'Before you say no, you're taking one.' She said simply, sitting opposite him. 'I didn't know if you took it black or white so I got one of each and you're going to take one for being nice to me.' She said, placing both cups in between them.

He laughed, before reaching for the black one, sensing she would want the white. 'Do you buy all nice people coffees?'

'No.' she smiled coyly. 'That honour is reserved for nice people who are nice _to me_.' She said, taking the other cup and taking a big gulp.

'What did you order?'

'A pizza.'

'Nice choice. You need some grease when you feel like shit.'

'Exactly. Well, you need grease all the time.' She giggled.

'You like pizza?' he raised an eyebrow.

'Lets just say, cold pizza is my typical breakfast.'

'you're joking right?' he laughed, shaking his head.

'Hey!' she protested. 'It's really good.'

'I'm sure it is. But its not good _for_ you.'

'Alright Derek, I didn't come here for a health lecture, I came to learn about Mariott and aneurisms.'

'I'm only saying.' He laughed. 'Okay, lets talk neuro.' He said, suddenly refocusing on the work in front of him. If he didn't follow her comment, he had a feeling he would never actually initiate the work himself, and would just continue chatting to her. He glanced back up at her, getting her own notes out, before looking back to his paper, locating the subsection she found difficult.

xxx

When Derek returned to his dorm after his final class of the day, general, he walked in to find Tim and Dexter sat in the kitchen with Mark.

'Hey man.' Said Mark, as Derek came in and shoved his bag onto the couch.

'Hey.' He smiled. 'What's up guys?' he said joining them around the table.

'Nothing really. We're bored.' Sighed Tim. 'Have you only just finished?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Damn.' Said Dexter. 'Long day.'

'Yeah, it was really.' He agreed, before reaching for a beer in the middle of the four of them.

'Did you find your girl in neuro?' Tim said, taking a sip of his own beer. 'I didn't see you.'

'Oh yeah!' said Dexter.

'Wait- what girl?' said Mark before Derek could respond.

'Derek's got a crush.' Taunted Dexter.

'A girl from neuro.' Added Tim, smirking.

'Oh god,' groaned Mark. 'A crush, Shep?'

'It's not a crush.' He said, feeling himself heating and his skin reddening.

'It is, dude.' Said Tim. 'You were going on about her the other day, and you don't even know her name.'

'I do now.'

'You do?!' grinned Dexter.

'I do. Meredith.'

'Oooo, Meredith.' Echoed Tim.

'Nice name.' said Dexter.

'So she's a neuro geek like you I'm assuming?' said Mark.

'No. I don't think so anyway. She's just in my class.' He said.

'Did she sit next to you again?' said Dexter.

'No, I think she was at the back. She left before I got chance to talk to her.'

'Damn. At least you know her name though.' He smiled.

'Yeah.' Derek nodded, not wanting to get into his study session with Meredith, for knowing the teasing he would face.

'She hot?' said Mark, to which he rolled his eyes.

'I guess.'

'You guess?'

'Hey- when we asked him this he shook his head and said she was beautiful.' Scoffed Tim.

'Ha! Typical Shep.' Laughed Mark.

'Shut up.' Derek groaned. 'She is hot.'

'But she's _beautiful_.' Teased Dexter.

'Shut up. She is, okay?'

'Whatever man, you live in your little Disneyland of love and fairy tales.' Said Mark. 'This is college. It's all about the fucking.'

'For you.' Derek rolled his eyes. 'Anyway, I never said I loved her. She's just… pretty.'

'Whatever,' said Mark. 'You're gonna be all Shep about it.'

'That doesn't even mean anything.'

'Yes it does. It means you're going to be totally you in this situation.'

'What does that even mean?'

'You'll go all gooey gaga over her and fall in love with her.'

'That is not true.'

'Whatever.'

'You not good with casual fucking, Shep?' said Dexter lightly.

'Huh,' laughed Mark.

'Shut up.' Derek groaned. 'I just don't understand it, that's all.'

'What? Screwing?'

'Well, obviously not.' He rolled his eyes. 'But what's the point if it doesn't mean anything.'

'Oh God, you are all goo goo gaga aren't you?' laughed Tim.

'Shut up.'

'He's only ever had one girlfriend before.' Said Mark.

'One more than you.' Derek retorted.

'Yeah but I'm not the one that only fucks people I'm in a fully-fledged relationship with.'

'Chloe was not a fully-fledged relationship.' He sighed.

'She so was, man.'

'She wasn't. We didn't even last long.'

'She was your high school sweetheart don't even deny it.' Mark smirked.

'Well, yeah, she was at the time.'

'See.'

'But it didn't really mean anything did it?'

'Well it did if you lost your V -Card.'

'My V-Card? And you're the one who calls me a girl.'

'Whatever.' Mark shrugged. 'You loved her.'

'I wouldn't go that far. I did like her though.'

'So you've only ever slept with her?' said Tim, 'In high school?'

'Well, yeah.' Derek shrugged. 'Only a few times.'

'What the fuck.' Said Dexter. 'So how many times have you actually had sex?'

'I really don't see how any of this is relevant.' Derek groaned.

'Because we're interested.' Said Tim. 'Come on, fess up.'

'Four.'

'Four?!' said Dexter. 'That's pathetic man.'

'Told you.' Laughed Mark.

'Shut up.' Said Derek.

'So you haven't dated anyone else since?' said Tim.

'Well, I've been on a few dates.' Derek nodded. 'We just never slept together.'

'Jesus.' Said Tim. 'So you've had to use your hand since high school?'

'That's disgusting.' Muttered Derek.

'True though.' Cut in Mark.

'Whatever.' Sighed Derek.

'Dude, we need to get you out there.' Said Dexter. 'There's a whole sea out there and you're just stuck with your hand.'

'Can we stop talking about my hand please.' He sighed.

'Fine. But you have to fuck some girls Shep.'

'I'm not really that bothered about it.'

'Shep, trust me.' Said Tim. 'Once you've tried what's out there you will be fulfilled in a way like no other.'

'Whatever,' Derek rolled his eyes. 'Can I leave now?' he said, standing up with his beer, motioning to his room.

'Bye, have fun masturbating.' Smirked Mark.

'Ha ha, you're funny.' Said Derek over his shoulder before going into his room and flopping on the bed.

Despite being in over six hours, his day hadn't actually been that long. His instance with Meredith seemed to have spurred him on all day. She was amazing. She was really funny, and she was really easy to talk to. Once he'd explained Dr Alexander's use of Mariott's work in his own words, something clicked inside her head and she suddenly got it. Like a lightbulb moment or something. She wrote it down and scribbled out her attempts to note-take in the lecture, and that was that. They'd finished 'studying' before her pizza had even arrived. So they sat and drank coffee, and talked until the Pepperoni feast arrived at their table, which she devoured no problem single handed after he turned down her offer at a slice.

She had thanked him for helping her again, and said that maybe they should study together if there was anything else one of them didn't understand, which he had immediately agreed to. She took his phone off him and dialled her number into his contacts, and it was all happening really fast. They were becoming… friends… or something. And as much as Derek loved Mark, and as much as he liked Tim and Dexter, it was nice to have someone else. Especially Meredith. She was…. Amazing. And they were…. Friends. She had said it when they went their separate ways from the coffee shop.

' _See you tomorrow in Alexander's, right?' she grinned._

' _Of course.'_

' _Want me to save you the seat by me?'_

' _If you don't mind?'_

' _Of course I don't mind. You're my friend.'_

They were friends.

 _Thank you for reading x_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi guys! Okay so I know I said I would update once a week, but I feel like because it's the beginning and the scene is being set more than anything, I'd post another chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing!_

Meredith groaned as she turned to silence her alarm with her left hand, her eyes remained closed, her head still buried in her pillow. It was eight thirty, and today she had a nine thirty lab. Her first week at college had been good, her roommate, Sarah, was nice and she'd immediately made friends with a girl in her chemistry, Cristina. Sarah was her only non-pre-med friend so far, taking literature as her major, but she surprisingly had a lot in common with her. They enjoyed similar music and both liked Tequila, so that had been a good start.

Cristina was… she wouldn't quite describe her as _nice_ … But she was very much her kind of person. She was focused and smart, similarly to how Meredith had been raised. She had graduated top of her class at high school, like Meredith, and Meredith inferred her to have some dark and twisty issues, like herself. They got on well.

She squinted her eyes open and rolled out of bed, going to the bathroom to brush her teeth, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked tired. She _was_ tired. Last night was the first night she hadn't been out, so she shouldn't _really_ be tired. But she was, extremely. She washed her face after brushing her teeth and moved back into her bedroom, where she pulled on some navy blue jeans and pulled on her favourite dark grey sweater. She brushed her hair back into a ponytail and shoved on some socks before her white converse.

'Hey.' She said, walking into the kitchen.

'Hey,' said Sarah, groggily.

'What are you doing up?' asked Meredith, moving to get some cereal out of the cupboard.

'Well,' Sarah flushed. 'There's kind of a guy in my bed.'

'What?' gasped Meredith, her head whipping round as she was mid-pouring her milk into her bowl.

'Oh shut up, last night was my first time bringing anyone back, and your first time _not_ bringing anyone back.'

'Whatever.' Meredith rolled her eyes before picking up her bowl and sitting opposite Sarah at the table. 'So, if he's in there, why are you in here?' she said. 'Shouldn't you…. You know?' she smirked, raising an eyebrow.

'He snores.' Sarah said simply. 'I cant stay in there any longer.'

'he snores?' Meredith laughed. 'You're avoiding potential sex because he snores?'

'It's really bad okay?!'

'You're unbelievable.'

'Whatever. Anyway, he snores.' Sarah sighed.

'How long have you been out here?' When Meredith thought about it she was actually in no place to talk, she never slept with guys after she picked them up for sex. She just threw them out after it finished, so it wasn't like she ever saw morning sex either.

'Since seven.'

'You've been here over an hour and a half?'

'Okay, can we stop with the judgement please?'

'No judgement here.' Meredith laughed.

'Then why do I sense judgement?'

'Oh shush, if I really wanted to judge, I could be saying a lot worse.'

'True. Anyway, why are you up so early? Got an early class?'

'A lab which I don't really understand because we've only been here two minutes so I don't understand what we can be doing.'

'I don't really know what to say, I have no idea what you doctor people do. Oh, Cristina was out last night, she said she's disappointed in you for breaking your continuous streak.'

'I thought it was about time to have one night off. I was tired.'

'She said tiredness didn't stop her.'

'Obviously not. Who was she with?'

'Erm, a blond girl. She introduced her to me as Barbie, I don't think I actually got to hear her real name.'

'Oh, Izzie.' Meredith nodded. 'They're in the same biology, she's nice. But Cristina calls her Barbie, apparently she models.'

'Models?'

'If you know what I mean.'

'Naked models?!'

'Well, underwear. Apparently. According to Cristina.'

'Hmmmm, interesting.'

'I know, right.' Said Meredith, finishing the last of her cereal.

'So is Crisitna not in your biology?'

'No.'

'Physics?'

'No.'

'But she's in your chemistry?'

'Yeah.'

'So, do you like have different people in each class?'

'Some are the same in a few of them. A couple are in all my classes I think, but mainly different people.'

'I see. So is Izzie in anything of yours?'

'No, I don't think so.'

'So it's just really Cristina from Chemistry?'

'Yeah.'

'That's kind of annoying, how you have to make friends in every class even though you're all doing the same stuff so could really be in the same class.'

'Yeah, a little. But I'm not really friends with anyone else. I don't mind being on my own in class. Oh, apart from Derek.'

'Derek?'

'He's in my biology.'

'Is he cute?'

'Er… yeah… kind of.. yeah,' she shrugged. 'Really cute now I think about it, actually. But I wasn't looking at him in that way. He's nice though, we studied together.'

'Studied together?' Sarah said, raising an eyebrow, this time it was her turn to smirk.

'Yes. We literally went through some aneurism occurrence research after I bumped into him at the library.'

'You sure that's all that happened?'

'Yeah. Well, we talked, but obviously we talked if we studied. He's nice. He's my only biology friend.'

'You've got ages to make friends, it's only been a week.'

'I know.' She shrugged. 'I don't need a lot of friends, I'm happy with the ones I've got. Anyway, I said I'd drop an article off at Cristina's on the way to my lab so I guess I'll see you later.' She smiled, picking up her bag and coat and heading out the door of the apartment.

When she got to Cristina's she already had the article in her hand, she knocked on the door to her dorm, awaiting a response.

'Hey.' Said Cristina, opening the door an motioning for her to come inside.

'Hey.' She smiled. 'Here you go.'

'Oh my god you are a lifesaver, thank you.'

'No problem.'

'I promise I'll have it back to you by tomorrow.'

'Oh no, there's no rush.' She said, waving her hand.

'I don't want to keep it for too long, it's gold dust. You know, you could probably make a fortune off it, loaning it out to people.'

'It's fine. I really don't need it.'

'Don't need it?! Meredith this is the key to an A. Ellis Grey's original work, _unpublished_.'

Meredith rolled her eyes. 'It's probably unpublished for a reason.'

'I don't know why you aren't all over this. Your mom's like a medical god and you don't seem to care.'

'Probably _because_ she's my mom.' She laughed.

'Meh. Whatever.'

'Anyway, I believe you were out last night?'

'Yeah. Why weren't you? Pussy.'

'Hey! I was tired!'

'Didn't stop me.'

'That's exactly what Sarah said.'

'Probably because that's what I told her to say.'

'Whatever.'

'You out tonight?'

'Maybe. Was last night good?'

'It was okay.'

'And… is there anyone in your bed at present?' Meredith smirked.

'No. But there almost was.'

'Oh. That's annoying.'

'I know, right. This is why you need to come out tonight. So we can wing woman each other.

'That sounds good to me.'

'So you're out tonight then?'

'Uugh, go on then.'

'Great. What time do you finish?'

'Well, I have this lab until eleven and then I have neuro from one till four but I said I'd study with Derek afterwards.'

'Brain boy?'

Meredith nodded.

'So what time will you be done?'

'five thirty?'

'Oh, so we have plenty of time.'

'Yeah.'

'Okay. Well, I'll speak to you about it later.'

'Okay.'

'Thanks again for the article.'

'No problem.' She said honestly, tuning to finally head off to her lab.

After her completely pointless lab had finished, Meredith headed back to her dorm for some food before biology. She knew if she didn't eat now then she'd definitely be hungry later and she didn't really want to make Derek study in a coffee shop again. Even though he'd insisted it was fine.

She got back and made herself a sandwich, which despite her lack of culinary skills, she could master. She sat on the tiny couch and flicked the TV on. Cristina had rang her on the way home from lab, telling her how amazing her moms essay was. She would probably appreciate all the tapes she had back in Boston, she would make a mental note to try and sneak her some cardio ones out during the holidays. Apparently word had gotten around about her being the daughter of the infamous Ellis Grey after Cristina's roommate, April had seen the article on the kitchen table and asked where she'd gotten it from. April was annoying anyway.

But it kind of sucked that people knew about her mom. She'd figured some of the professors would catch on, but she was hoping if she could get away with introducing herself simply on first name terms, her peers wouldn't find out. It would just lead to a string of questions, and asking to borrow papers and tapes. Which she didn't mind for her actual friends. But not the whole of freaking pre-med. They would probably ask if they could meet her too, which would be a definite no.

She sighed and washed her plate before putting it away and picking up her bag ready for neuro. When she got to the Evenson building she waited outside for Derek, she had agreed to meet him there at five to, so they could secure their new favourite spots at the back left, with the extra desk and leg room. She glanced at her watch, she was early. It was quite cold and waiting for Derek felt like forever, even though she'd only been there a few minutes. She suddenly saw his hair coming around the corner, he had really good hair. He was wearing dark blue denim jeans and a green sweater, and grinned at her as he approached.

'Hey.'

'Hey.' She smiled.

'You okay?' he asked, as they stepped inside the building, waiting outside the lecture theatre for the previous class to leave.

'I'm good thanks. You?'

'I'm good too. Just had physics.'

'I've just had lunch.' She giggled.

'Ooo, anything nice?' he asked.

'Just a sandwich.' She shrugged. 'I'm very limited culinary wise.'

'Oh are you?' he laughed.

'I am.'

'And what was on this sandwich?'

'Cheese.'

'Just cheese?'

'Yes, just cheese Derek.' She rolled her eyes.

'No salad?'

'We aren't all health freaks like you.'

'I am not a health freak.' He protested. 'I enjoy a healthy diet.'

'Yes, well. I don't.'

'I can see that.'

'Shut up.' She laughed as people started to file out of the hall.

'Did you do any prep reading?'

'No, I was going to, but then I got a load of reading for a stupid lab this morning.'

'I think I have that on Thursday, is it good?'

'Not really,' she said, going into the hall and immediately heading for their spot. 'In fact, it was absolutely pointless.'

'Oh.' He frowned. 'That sucks.'

'I know. A complete waste of time.'

'I didn't do any prep reading either so I guess we can be clueless together.' He said, to which she giggled, sitting down.

They got out their notepads and pens as people followed in the room, when Derek felt a clap on his shoulder.

'Hey man.'

'Tim.' He smiled, as Tim sat on the other side of him. 'Mer, this is my friend Tim, Tim this is Meredith.'

'Yeah, Meredith fucking Grey if what I've heard is true.' Said Tim with wide eyes.

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith blushed.

'What?' said Derek confused.

'Dude you told me she was called Meredith but not the Meredith everyone's talking about.'

'Everyone's talking about?' Meredith asked.

'What?' said Derek, still in the dark.

'Come on man, are you really that unpopular that no-ones even told you the rumour?'

'Hey! I'm not that unpopular.' Derek said, going bright red.

'You're an A class nerd but okay.' Said Tim. 'She's Ellis Grey's daughter.'

'Wha-' said Derek, turning to Meredith his mouth open and eyes wide.

'Yeah.' She said. 'She is.'

'What the fuck man, this is so cool.' Said Tim.

'It's really not.' Said Meredith, rolling her eyes and trying to turn to the front where Dr. Alexander was prepping.

'It really is. What's she like? Is she still in general? Apparently Cristina Yang has one of her unpublished essays but I didn't know she even had anything unpublished, has she got anything else? Like is she doing any research now? Like right now? Like a trial or something? It must be so cool just being able to ring your mom about a paper or whatever and she just already knows everything. It's like being Jesus and your mom's God, giving you all this information from medical heaven.' Said Tim, and Meredith felt extremely uncomfortable. This is exactly what she didn't want. She didn't want any questions. She just wanted to be normal. She didn't want people talking to her because her mom was one of the most famous surgeons to ever exist, she wanted people to talk to her because they were her friend. Real friends. Like Cristina and Sarah and Derek. Not Tim.

'Jeez man.' Stepped in Derek, obviously reading the awkward look on her face. 'You say I'm a chick and then go all fangirl crazy on Mer about her mom.'

'Shut up. And you are a chick.'

'Why is he a chick?' Meredith asked, keen to move the conversation on quickly.

'I'm not.' Groaned Derek, causing her to laugh a little.

'You so are.' Said Tim.

'Go on then.' said Mer.

'He only has sex with people if he looooves them.' Tim taunted.

'I never actually said that.' Said Derek, going bright red, again.

'Aw,' giggled Meredith. 'That's sweet.'

'He's a chick.'

'A, That does not make me a chick and B I never said that.'

'It was implied.'

'Whatever.'

'Such a chick.' Smirked Tim as Dr Alexander began to greet the class. Meredith was grateful Derek had changed the topic of conversation for her, but felt slightly guilty as he obviously felt uncomfortable instead. He was taking what Tim was throwing at him in jest but she could tell he was still a little embarrassed and she sent him a small smile as he looked up to say both _thank you_ and _its okay_.

 _Thank you for reading! X_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi guys! Thank you all for your kind reviews, I'm glad you are all enjoying so far. I hope you are all having a lovely day and thank you for reading!_

Derek was beginning to wonder if college was supposed to be this hard. It was only pre-med, it wasn't even medical school yet, and he already felt worked into the ground after just a few weeks. He had two biology papers due in and a chemistry lab to prepare for on Friday, but thankfully he and Meredith were going to go through it this afternoon and tomorrow so they could share the workload. She was also his biology lab partner, which made things easier. They worked really well together, and she made him laugh. She was the only form of release he seemed to be getting. He went out to a bar with Mark in the first week, and he ditched him for some girl. No-one approached him, unsurprisingly, so Derek just sat alone for a half hour then left. He'd spent every night at home since. He's occasionally ring his mom or his sisters, but there was only so many times he could listen to what his mom's friend Kate had been saying at Church about how apparently the vicar's having an affair.

He sighed and stood up from his chair in the library, it was eight pm, he could finish work for the day and have dinner. He'd finish his cardio assignment in the morning, there were only two hundred words left. As he was walking down the walkway back to his dorm he heard someone shouting his name breathlessly.

'Derek!'

He turned to see Meredith beaming at him.

'Derek!'

'Hey.' He smiled, ignoring the sudden cold of the outside which hit him as soon as he'd stopped moving.

'Hey.' She grinned. 'How's the paper coming along?'

'Okay, I think. I've finished it for tonight.'

'I've finished mine but need to check all my citations tomorrow.'

'That's great.' He smiled gently.

'What you doing tonight?'

'Oh, nothing, I'm going to grab some dinner then maybe watch a movie or something.'

'Derekkkkk,' she whined. 'Don't be boring. Come out!'

He laughed, she was actually serious. 'I er… No, but thanks.'

'Oh come on.' She said, cocking her head to the side. 'Please.'

'No, Mer, really I'm fine.'

'Please.' She pouted.

'I have to write two hundred words in the morning.'

'And I have to do my citations.' She nodded. 'What's your point?'

'I can't be hungover.'

'You don't have to be hungover. You can just come for a couple.'

'I'm good, but thanks for the invite.'

'I cant believe you're leaving me alone with Cristina.' She sighed. 'Izzie cant come out tonight she's sick.'

'Cristina's the mean one right?'

'She'd not mean.' Meredith rolled her eyes, laughing slightly.

'She seemed mean.' Derek laughed.

'Okay fine, maybe she is mean. But she's my friend so we're kind of stuck with it.'

'Well have fun.'

'Are you sure I can't persuade you to come?'

'I'm quite sure.' He nodded. 'But you have fun.'

'I'll try.' She giggled. 'What movie you going to watch?'

'I haven't decided yet, just whatever comes to mind I guess.'

'Have fun.' She smiled. 'What time are we meeting to go over the Sennett reading?'

'I finish at three?'

'Me too. Shall we do three at the library?'

'Sounds good.'

'Okay, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, have a nice night.'

'Bye.' She giggled, turning to walk in the opposite direction.

'Bye.' He smiled, watching her walk away. He turned to continue on to his dorm, sighing, seeing his breath in the cold air.

It had become pretty clear in the last three weeks that he and Meredith were friends. They met to study for any form of biology, and last week she'd asked him to go through some chemistry she hadn't understood in her class which he'd already read a book on. They sat together every class, sometimes with Tim as an added annoyance, and talked pretty much everyday.

The craze around her being Ellis Grey's mom had kind of died down, and although he was amazed he'd gathered it was a subject she didn't want to talk about. And so he'd left it well alone. She never brought her mom up, and any time anyone else did she just nodded and smiled politely before rolling her eyes after they'd left. Her friends Izzie and Cristina were…. Interesting. Very different. Cristina was mean and always seemed to be frowning from the two times Derek had encountered her.

The first had been a bumping into in the library, when he and Meredith were looking for some study space, and Cristina was hunting for a book. She'd looked him up and down and greeted him as 'brain boy', apparently she gave nicknames. She hadn't said much to him in their brief meeting, and seemed disinterested in any and everything. The second time, had been in the coffee shop he and Meredith had held their first study session in, she had been in front of him in the line and had simply said 'Hey, brain boy.' Without so much of a smile or waiting for response as she passed him with her black coffee.

Izzie was the total opposite, she was blonde and bright and bubbly and talked to him non-stop when they met in the diner on campus, when he'd gone to meet Mark and she had been sat with Meredith who waved his attention as he walked in. Izzie had been asking all about his room-mate and classes and family and pretty much everything. Apparently, Cristina called her 'Barbie'.

He opened the door to their apartment to find Mark and Dexter sharing a Pizza.

'Hey Shep.'

'Hey.' He replied.

'Hey man.'

'Hey.' He nodded to Mark.

'Where you been?'

'Library, got two hundred words of this paper left.'

'That paper assigned by Young?'

'Yeah.'

'That's a killer.'

'Right there.'

'I do not wish I was you guys right now.' Said Dexter, sipping at his beer.

'You will when I'm the best plastic surgeon in the country.' Smirked Mark. 'Ain't that right, Shep?'

'If you say so.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'You been studying it with Meredith?'

'No.' he shook his head.

'Dude,' said Dexter. 'When are you gonna make a move on her?'

'Oh… I'm.. I'm not.' He stuttered uncharacteristically.

'I thought this was the whole point? You've had a crush on her ever since we got here and you've spent like every day with her in the last two weeks you've had plenty of opportunity.'

'We're friends.'

'Oh man,' laughed Mark. 'You've been friend zoned.'

'I have not been friend zoned. Thank you.'

'You so have.'

'Shut up Mark.'

'Aw, man.' Said Dexter.

'I haven't been friend zoned I have willingly decided to be her friend.'

'In other words, you've been friend zoned.' Said Mark.

'I haven't.' Derek sighed.

'Then make a move and fuck her. Simple- oh wait, you don't fuck.' He added sarcastically.

'It's not like that, okay. I thought she was pretty, now we're friends.' He shrugged.

'Sure.'

'We are.'

'You coming out tonight?' said Dexter, sensing Derek's awkwardness.

'Oh, no. Gonna make some food then watch a movie I think, grab an early night. I have a lot to do tomorrow.'

'Man give us a call when you stop being boring.' Mark said, taking another drink.

'Whatever.' Said Derek, rolling his eyes and heading for his room. He flung his jacket on his chair and his bag on the floor before slipping his shoes on and getting on to his bed. He flicked grabbed the controller for the TV and started flicking through the channels. He had wanted to ideally make food before he watched a film, but he couldn't be bothered with conversation. Especially Mark and Dexters conversation. He and Meredith were friends, it wasn't like when he first saw her. Sure, he had crushed on her a bit but he'd only seen her once and she'd fascinated him. But now, they were friends, and they studied together, and got coffee together, and talked about stuff.

He figured he'd kind of become the guy friend who she bitched about her girl friends to. She'd been telling him yesterday about how Sarah had used the last of her orange juice without asking her or offering to replace it. Then apparently she'd come home early from a party with some boy she'd been seeing for a few weeks and they drank what was left of Meredith's tequila. And he'd also been told that Izzie hooked up with a guy on Friday that Meredith got with the week before which apparently wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't have mentioned to the guy that he hooked up with her friend because then he asked Izzie if she could give him Meredith's number. And Cristina was 'being a really annoying slut' who failed at her wing woman duties and hooked up with the guy Meredith wanted.

He had four sisters but nothing quite compared to being Meredith's friend. His sisters didn't bitch to him about their problems, they had each other. But it appeared Meredith just had him. She didn't have any brothers or sisters, her mom was an untouched topic and she couldn't bitch about her friends to her friends so it somehow landed on Derek. Not that he minded. It was funny. Meredith was cute when she was pissed off.

The TV landed on a movie channel and before he could flick to the next one he heard his cell beep. After digging it out of his jean pocket he opened it to a text message from Meredith.

 _You really should have come out._

He laughed and replied _Why what's happening?_

 _Nothing. Nothing is happening. That's the point. Cristina's with some guy and I can't seem to pick up. I'm bored._

 _Drink some more tequila._ He typed with a chuckle.

 _Tried that._

 _Ha, I can't really help much then._

 _You could come._

 _Not tonight, but you enjoy yourself._

 _A lot easier said than done._

 _Is Cristina still with her guy?_ Was the last message he typed before she stopped replying. A guy probably started talking to her. She seemed to get with a lot of guys and he didn't really want to ask her about it or upset her, because she was his friend, but she really did get with a _lot_ of guys. Not all of a certain type, just anyone really. He sighed before turning his attention back to the TV. This movie was bad, really bad. So he decided to finally get himself the food he'd been wanting, hoping Mark and Dexter would have moved from their spots in the kitchen.

 _Thank you for reading! X_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi guys I hope you're having a fab weekend! Thank you so much for reading._

Meredith glanced around the lecture theatre, her and Derek had arranged to meet twenty minutes before class today, as they had a guest lecturer instead of Alexander and so it was going to be _really_ busy. Dr. Redpath was the latest neurosurgeon to have a global clinical trial and her and Derek knew if they wanted their spot they'd have to get there early. Except he still wasn't there after ten minutes so she went in to try and find them any seat she could after loads of people had already had gone in. Unfortunately, their spot had been taken, not to her surprise, and so she took the closest to them.

There was still no sign of him and someone was now hovering over the chair which she had her bag on, reserving it for Derek. She pulled out her cell and made no eye contact, texting Derek for the hundredth time to see where he was. No response.

'Hi,'

Urugh. She tried to ignore him, keeping her eyes on her phone and her bag on the chair.

'Hi… I… Do you mind moving your bag?'

Shit.

'Yeah, sorry.' She smiled. _For fuck's sake Derek, where are you._

'Hi, I'm Dylan.' He said, he had blonde hair and blue eyes.

'Hi.' She smiled, turning her attention back to her phone.

'I.. um… what's your name?'

'Meredith.' She smiled again, turning back to her phone.

'Hi, Meredith.'

'Hi.'

'I haven't seen you before, are you usually in this neuro class?'

'Yeah. You?' She replied. Where was Derek? It wasn't like him to be so unreliable.

'No.' he laughed.

'Well I guess that's why.' She replied flatly. 'Tim!' she looked up and shouted, seeing Tim file in two rows in front of her.

'Hey.' He smiled from his seat.

'Where's Derek?'

'Don't know.' He shrugged. 'Sorry.'

'That's okay.'

'I thought he'd be with you.'

'So did I.' she sighed, as Tim turned his attention to the front of the class. Derek only had five minutes to show up.

He didn't show. He didn't show for Dr. Redpath, which was crazy, they'd arranged to meet twenty minutes early and he was obviously psyched for it the little neuro geek that he was. He'd been going on about it every day they'd spent together the last week. Which had been every day. They'd met Monday, Tuesday and Thursday before biology, and Wendesday and Friday between classes. On Saturday they had spent four hours in the library 'studying' when they really just sat and talked, same thing on Sunday. But for five hours instead.

She loved Cristina, she really did. And Izzie too. But she couldn't spend more than a couple of hours with them before they drove her insane. With Derek it was different, she could sit and talk to him all day and it was easy. He was also really thoughtful. If she mentioned going out at night, the next day he would greet her with water, painkillers, a box of pizza and a warm smile. He was a really good friend. And he made her laugh. A lot.

But where was he?

She walked out of the lecture hall and waited for Tim. Surely he had to know where Derek was. Or at least have some idea. It really wasn't like him to not show up. He'd never blown a class off, ever. It made zero sense.

'Hey.' She said to Tim immediately stopping him walking past her.

'Oh, hey.' He smiled.

'So you really don't know where Derek is?'

'Not a clue, sorry Mer.'

'Damn.' She sighed, the disappointed look on her face evident.

'You could try calling him?'

'Oh gee never thought of that one.' She rolled her eyes, before realising her tone. 'Sorry.' She said quickly.

'It's okay. It's not like Derek not to show.'

'I know right!' she replied a little more than enthusiastically.

'Look, I don't know where he is but he lives down the hall and if anyone's going to have a clue where he is it'll be Mark, so you can walk with me.'

'Thanks.' She nodded. 'I just don't know where he would be to miss Redpath?'

'Me neither. He's such a loser he's been going on about it ever since we got the email last week.'

'I know.' She giggled as they made their way to Derek's dorm building. 'I was with him when we got it you should have heard him.'

'He's such a girl.'

'Don't be mean.' She laughed.

'Hey you started it.'

'...whatever.'

'So, you met Mark before?' asked Tim.

'No.' she shook her head. 'Heard a lot about him though.'

'And what would that be?'

'That he's a whore.'

'Ouch.' Tim laughed.

'And that Derek loves him.'

'Wait- he actually admitted it? Those two fight like cat and dog.'

'No.' she laughed. 'But he's his brother. And he goes on about him enough for it to be obvious.'

'True. Typical love hate relationship.' He nodded, opening the door and following Meredith inside. 'Just…' he trailed off. 'Just, ignore him. When he talks.' He said suddenly seriously. He knew Derek said he and Meredith were just friends but he also knew that deep down she meant more to him than that. And he didn't want Mark to ruin anything with some cast away comment about the two of them fucking.

'O-kay.' She said, confused.

'He's just… he thinks with his penis. Okay?'

'Oh.' She laughed.

'I mean, I know Derek's told you he's a manwhore, but really- just ignore anything he says.'

'Is there something you aren't telling me?' she suddenly asked as they reached Mark and Derek's room.

'What? No.' He knew he teased Derek about her, but he really didn't want to ruin it for his friend.

'O-kay.' She repeated, knocking on the door. 'Derek?'

She leaned against the wall next to his door before knocking again. Why wasn't he answering? This was really not like Derek.

'Derek?' she repeated.

'Mark!' shouted Tim. 'Put the girl down and answer the fucking door!'

Still no response and Meredith's stomach sank. She was so confused. Derek was probably the most reliable person she'd ever met, which was saying a lot considering she'd only known him a month. He was always on time, in fact he was usually early meeting her wherever they were going, and he always texted her to let her know when he was on his way and when he was there. She sighed at the realisation that he wasn't going to answer the door.

'Fuck knows where they are.' Tim also sighed. 'You want a drink at ours? See if they're back in a bit?'

'Yeah, thanks. That would be nice.' She smiled.

'Oh, and ignore Dexter too- if he starts talking.'

'Do all your friends talk with their penises?'

'No… but, just ignore him anyway.'

'Okay.' She said, following him inside to see whom she presumed was Dexter sat on the small couch eating a pizza.

'Hey man.'

'Hey.' Smiled Dexter. 'And hello to you.' He said, raising an eyebrow. 'Gotta say man, it's about time you got some action.'

'Dexter, this is Meredith. Meredith, this is Dexter.'

'Meredith?' Dexter choked on his pizza. 'As in, Derek's Meredith?' he turned to Tim after clearing his throat.

'Yes.' Tim replied simply, opening the fridge.

'Oh. Hi.' Dexter re-greeted her.

'Hi.' She smiled awkwardly. _Derek's Meredith?_

'What would you like to drink? We have beer?'

'A beer would be good.' She nodded. 'Thank you.'

'No problem.' Tim said, handing the drink to her and gesturing to a seat at the table.

'Oh, thanks.' She said, sitting down and placing her books on the table.

'Dex, do you have any idea where Shep and Sloan are?' asked Tim, sitting at the table with a beer for himself.

'Shit yeah, you've not been here have you.' Dexter said, sitting up and closing his pizza box. 'They've gone home- family emergency.'

'Home?' said Meredith.

'New York.' Dexter nodded.

'Yeah… yeah… I know.' She replied, of course she knew Derek was from New York. He wore his stupid Yankees cap often enough for it not to exactly be top secret.

'Shit- both of them have gone?'

'Yeah. Something about his sister… Imogen?'

'Sister?' she couldn't help the echoes that were coming out of her mouth.

'Yeah, something about an accident or something.'

'Accident?'

'Shit, when did they go?' said Tim.

'This morning after you left.'

'Fuck.' He sighed. 'How long they gonna be?'

'Derek said only a couple of days.'

'Couple of days?' repeated Meredith.

'You okay blondie?' said Dexter.

'What? Yeah… I'm fine. Fine.'

'You just seem…. Jumpy.'

'I'm not jumpy. Just worried, about Derek.'

'It was his sister in the accident not him, so I don't think you need to worry.' He laughed.

'Yeah… right.' She nodded. 'I, um, I'm gonna go. Thanks for the beer and everything Tim.'

'It's okay. You don't have to go.'

'No, no its fine. I came….. I came to find out where Derek is and now I know, so it's fine. I'm gonna go, but thanks.' She smiled weakly.

'No problem.' He smiled as she said bye to Dexter and made her way out.

Derek was in New York? With his family? She didn't know anything about Derek's family. Apart from Mark. She didn't even know he had a sister. Imogen. It was a nice name. And he must be close to her if him and Mark both went home to make sure she was okay. She sighed as she reached her dorm. It wasn't that weird, when she thought about it. She didn't talk about her family to him and he didn't talk about his to her. So why would she know?

She sighed and walked in. Sarah was sat on the couch with her now boyfriend, Dan, eating something that looked disgustingly healthy and watching some equally disgusting rom com.

'Hey.' Sarah smiled from her spot in Dan's arms.

'Hey.' She smiled. 'Hi.' She nodded towards Dan, turning to the kitchen in order to avoid conversation. She hated couples. She hated coupley couples, which is exactly what Sarah and Dan were. If Derek were here they'd probably be in the coffee shop now discussing how amazing Dr. Redpath was over a slice of chocolate cake. Well, she'd be the only one to eat it. But anyway, if Derek were here she'd be saved from the lovey-dovey-ness which seemed to have overtaken her dorm in the last week. She pulled a tub of strawberry ice cream out of the freezer and a spoon out of the drawer and headed for her room before slumping on the bed and dumping her bag on the floor.

Giggling came from the other side of the door and she groaned, turning her TV on to drown it out. She didn't have many friends, she never had. She had been the angry girl with pink hair in high school and now she was the awkward daughter of Ellis Grey in college. She found being herself hard, but with Derek it was easy. He was her friend. And the thought of him not being here for two days made her genuinely sad. Not that she would ever admit it out loud.

More giggling came from the couch, louder this time. Urugh. She needed a drink. She pulled her phone out of her bag and dialled Cristina's number.

'Cris?'

'Hey whore.'

'What you doing tonight?'

'Hopefully being a slut if you're about to suggest drinking.'

 _Thank God._ 'What time?'

'I don't know, meet in the Dublin Bar at eight?'

'Perfect.'

'Shall I invite Barbie?'

'Do we have to?' she groaned. Izzie had been going on all week about a guy in her physics, George.

'Probably, but doesn't mean we will. We're heartless bitches.'

'I just need to drink without all her boy crap.'

'I hear ya. Me and you, Dublin at eight.'

'Dublin at eight.' She nodded, hanging up and shovelling another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Cristina wasn't Derek but she was the next best thing right now. When things were bad she usually did this, she usually went out and got drunk and blocked out her feelings with a random guy. But the last couple of times she'd fought with her mom she'd hung out with Derek. Not that she ever talked about it or anything. But just being with him, laughing and chatting made her feel safe. Made her feel better. But he wasn't here and so cue the tequila and drunken sex, it didn't work as well but at least it worked.

Before she dropped her phone on the bed she sent him a quick text.

 _Sorry for all the messages. I didn't know about your sister. Hope she's okay. I'll let you copy my Redpath notes when you get back._

Thanks for reading! X


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi guys thank you so much for reading as always. I hope you're liking this story so far, please let me know what you think! And thank you to Patsy for your kind reviews._

Derek smiled as he looked up from their usual table at the coffee shop to see Meredith walking faster than he'd ever seen her move before, the biggest grin plastered on her face.

'Hi.' She said, sitting down opposite him.

'Hey.' He smiled as she shrugged her cost off and dumped her bag on the floor.

'Is this for me?' her eye lit up at him.

'All for you.' He smiled towards the chocolate cake he knew she liked so much, and her caramel iced coffee.

'Thanks.' She grinned, picking her fork up and taking a huge bite before slurping her drink. 'How's your sister?'

'She's good, thanks.' He smiled. This was the first time he'd seen her since he got back the night before, as soon as he said he was on his way home she'd suggested meeting up to go over the neuro he'd missed. But they both knew it was highly unlikely they'd open their notepads.

'What happened?'

'Urugh' he groaned. 'She was in a car with a boy and someone drove into them.'

'Oh, how… how bad was it?'

'Not that bad in hindsight, a couple of broken bones but nothing serious.' He sighed.

'That's good. That she's okay. It's good. I didn't even know you had a sister.' She said before chomping on some more cake.

'Four.' He laughed.

'What?'

'Four sisters.'

'Oh. Wow.' She said almost choking and taking a drink.

'Yeah. That's one reaction.' He laughed.

'So, four sisters and Mark?'

'Four sisters and Mark.' He nodded.

'So Imogen…'

'Imogen, Lara, Claire and Olivia.'

'Are you the oldest?'

'I wish.' He rolled his eyes. 'Two older and two younger.'

'And Imogen….'

'Is the youngest.'

'Oh. Now I get it.' She giggled.

'What?' he smirked.

'You, protective older brother and all that aren't you?' she giggled again.

'What? No?' he scoffed.

'Your little sister broke a few bones and you and Mark run home. Would you have done that it hadn't happened in the car with a boy?'

'Yes.'

'Whatever.' She giggled. God, he loved that giggle.

'So, what you're trying to say is that you missed your best friend while he was gone?' he tilted his head and flashed her a cocky grin. To which she rolled her eyes and took another mouthful of cake.

'Whatever.'

'I knew it. You missed me admit it.'

'I did not miss you.' She shook her head. But the way she was smiling gave her away.

'Whatever.' He rolled his eyes, it was his turn now. 'So anyway, you know about my family. What about you? Brothers and sisters?'

'What? No. No brothers. Or sisters. Or siblings of any kind…. No siblings…. Just me.'

She was rambling. He knew her mom was a touchy subject but he thought her opening the conversation about his sister would lead to him knowing a little more about her life too. They talked every single day, for hours, but he still didn't really know much about Meredith Grey.

He knew that her favourite flavour of ice cream was strawberry. And that her favourite kind of cake was chocolate. And that she didn't like Chinese food. And that neuro was her favourite speciality. And that Tequila was her favourite drink. And that in high school her second favourite subject had been history. And that her favourite colour was purple. And that her favourite band was Duran Duran. And that her favourite day of the week was Saturday. And that she hated mushrooms. And that she preferred lemonade over cola any day.

But he didn't know anything actually _about_ her. He didn't know where she was from. Although he guessed from the accent she was from Boston- despite her mother currently known for working at Seattle Grace. He didn't know what her relationship was like with her mom, or her dad. Although her reluctance to bring them up gave him a hint. He didn't know if she had siblings, or anything about her family life really.

'Only child?'

'Yup.' She nodded, and he could tell she was uncomfortable.

'Sorry.. I'm being nosey.' He said quickly.

'No, you're not.' She shook her head and paused. 'You're not being nosey Derek. You're my friend. Best friend, like you said. I started asking questions first.' She paused again. 'I just… I don't talk about it. Sorry. Sorry for making it awkward.'

'That's okay.' He smiled, trying his best to reassure her. He didn't need to know anything right now, especially not if it upset her. They were friends. Best friends apparently as he'd accidentally let slip before- not that she'd denied it. He got the feeling that her parents made her sad, and as her friend all he wanted to do was make her happy.

'Thanks.' She smiled nervously.

'Honestly. It's fine Mer.' He said, leaning to squeeze her forearm gently. 'I didn't mean to pry.'

'You weren't.' she smiled softly.

'Anyway, we can change the subject.' He said, pulling his hand back.

'Thanks.'

'So, what did I miss in Redpath?'

'Oh my god, he was so good!' she beamed. 'I was going to be nice and say you didn't miss much. But… you kind of did.' She giggled.

'That good?'

'That good.' She nodded.

'Tim said he was good, but I was waiting for your professional opinion.'

'I have all the notes though, so you can copy as much as you'd like.'

'Thanks.' He grinned. 'Sorry, I couldn't text you earlier. We left in such a rush and then we couldn't have our phones on in the hospital.'

'Don't worry.'

'Did you get our spot?'

'Nope. I gave you ten minutes before I went in. It was packed. I got some pretty close though.'

'That's not bad. You sit with Tim?'

'Oh no, I saved you a seat but then some guy sat to me. Blonde? I think. I don't know.'

'Well, I promise I'll be there tomorrow.'

'You better be.' She laughed.

After a three hour coffee shop meeting, Derek walked Meredith back to her dorm then headed for his own. As usual, she had asked him if he was going out that night, and as usual he had turned her down. They had a class nine till ten and with being away for three days he could afford to miss any more, or slack at all. Meredith had given him all her notes from all her classes in the last three days so he could catch up, before begging him one last time to come out.

'Hey.' He said, opening the door to find Mark, Dexter and Tim all sat with beers. Mark sprawled on the couch and Tim and Dexter on stools, all watching the game.

'Hey man!' said Tim.

'Shep.' Dexter nodded.

'How's Meredith?' asked Tim.

'Good.' He smiled, opening the fridge, and getting a beer for himself.

'Dude, not to be rude. But she's skittish as fuck.' Said Dexter. 'Ow!' he exclaimed as Tim slapped him on the right arm. 'What?! She is!'

'Skittish?' frowned Derek, pulling up a stool next to Tim.

'She was just nervous I think.' Said Tim.

'Skittish as fuck.' Repeated Dexter. 'Ow! Will you stop hitting me?!'

'Leave it, okay?' said Tim.

'Why? She was.'

'I know she was but it wasn't that big a deal.'

'In what way skittish?' said Derek.

'Just…. Jumpy.'

'Yeah well she wasn't until you started talking.' Tim said under his breath.

'Why? Why were you talking to her?' said Derek, totally confused.

'She came round to see if we knew where you were.' Dexter shrugged.

'And she was skittish?'

'Just ignore him.' Sighed Tim. 'She was a little skittish but like I said I think she was just nervous.'

'Yeah, she gets nervous. She rambles when she's nervous.'

'I heard she hooked up with Josh D'Mara the other night.' Said Mark suddenly tearing his eyes off the game.

'Josh D'Amara?' frowned Dexter. 'I heard it was Sam Odell.'

'On Monday?'

'No Tuesday.'

'No it was definitely Monday she got with Josh, they were in the Dublin.'

'Ohhhhhh,' sighed Dexter. 'She was with Sam in Razzo's. They have that two for one on a Tuesday so it makes sense.'

'Wait- I saw her last night leave with some Asian guy.' Frowned Tim.

'Jeeeeeez' laughed Dexter. 'She's a busy girl.

'Yeah. In other words Shep, your girlfriend's a whore.'

'She's not my girlfriend.' He said indignantly, taking a big gulp of beer. 'And she's not a whore.'

'Yeah, right.' Smiled Dexter sarcastically before turning his attention back to the basketball in front of him.

Derek kept his gaze straight forwards on the television. Meredith wasn't a whore. She liked to go out and have a good time, yeah, she went out nearly every night. But she wasn't a whore.

He sighed.

If he didn't know her the way he did, he would too would think she was a whore.

But she wasn't like that with him. She wasn't a whore. She was cute and she was funny and she was clever and she didn't need to be sleeping with random guys every night. He never mentioned it to her and she never mentioned it to him. She never talked about her nights out, just a one or two word answer when he asked if she had a good time. And she certainly never talked to him about boys. Never once had she mentioned sleeping with a guy, I mean, he knew she had sex. It wasn't that. She was a nineteen year old first year college student, of course she had sex. But she seemed to have sex every night, with different guys, and he knew people talked about it.

To most people, she was Ellis Grey's daughter, who was an easy fuck. But to him, she was just Meredith. Meredith who laughed, and ate- ate a lot actually, and studied. She was his best friend.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review X_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading, please review!_

Derek was sat watching the game with Mark, Dexter and Tim on the very small television which was in the living area of his and Mark's dorm, which had somehow become the communal dorm for the four of them. They'd had a couple of beers and apparently Mark had ordered them some pizza but he was yet to witness it. He was starving. He and Meredith had decided to go over their whole biology stuff together, not just neuro classes. They were official study buddies for bio 101, and bio 102- even though both of them hated bio 102. Which meant they studied every day, even though they did already, in between every class, and after every class. The coffee shop was becoming their usual with the odd trip to the library after Derek realised Meredith couldn't go more than an hour with some sort of food to stop her whining.

They'd finished today at six so he could get back for the game at six thirty, and it was Meredith's 101 chemistry test at nine, so she'd made the conscientious decision not to go out tonight. She giggled and claimed she was turning into a bore like him to which he pretended to be offended before offering her a warm grin. He didn't tell her but to be honest she could probably have still aced the test on a hangover, she knew her stuff that well. But he much preferred the thought of her sat in her dorm with her roommate, rather than her drunk in a bar with some ass of a sport major drooling over her.

He knocked back some more beer, trying to clear that last image out of his head before there came a knock at the door. Pizza, finally. Mark jumped up out of the old arm chair Dexter pulled from a skip two weeks ago and picked up the cash they'd pooled together on the table.

'Oh.' He said when he opened the door, none of the other 3 boys tearing their eyes off the screen.

'Oh…. Um… Hi… crap…' Derek's head snapped up at the familiar rambling voice.

'Crap?' Mark laughed.

'Derek.' She blurted nervously. 'Is…. Um… I thought this was Derek's dorm but I think I got the wrong one… um… crap… sorry…'

'Shep you're girlfriend's here!' Mark laughed, leaving the door open causing Meredith to stop walking away as Derek scrambled to his feet to see her all red and nervous in the hallway.

'Hey.' He smiled.

'Hi.' She smiled back.

'Sorry- about Mark. He's… he's Mark.' He laughed nervously.

'Shut the fuck up Shep I heard that.' Said Mark, to which Derek rolled his eyes.

'So that's Mark.' She nodded.

'Unfortunately.' He mused. 'Come in. Sorry, come in.' he said quickly, stepping back so she could come inside, leading the guys to all turn and look.

'Hi.' She smiled at them, then back to Derek. 'Sorry… you were watching the game… crap… of course you were watching the game… that's why we stopped studying… crap.. I'm… I'll just go.'

'Mer don't go.' He laughed, trying to relax her. 'We're losing anyway.'

'Oh.'

'You okay?'

'Yeah, I just fancied a change from my place.'

'Do you want a beer? I would offer you tequila but sadly it's not a residential drink in this dorm.'

She giggled and actually started to look relaxed, unwrapping her arms from around herself. 'That would be nice thanks.'

'No problem.' He smiled, reaching her one out of the refrigerator.

'Thanks.' She repeated, taking it off him, the attention of the others back on the game.

'Do you erm… want to come to my room?'

'Sure.' She said, following him.

'Wit woooo, get in there Shep.'

'Shut up, Mark.' Derek groaned, opening his door. 'Sorry, ignore him.' He said once they were inside. 'He's an idiot.'

'It's okay.' She smiled.

'Erm, take a seat.' He gestured to his bed. 'Sorry it's small in here, Mark demanded the bigger room seeing as he has people to share it with. Apparently.'

'People to share it with?' she laughed, perching on the end of his bed.

'Girls.' Derek said, placing his beer on his bed side table and sitting on the other end of the bed more comfortably.

'Oh.' She nodded. He kicked himself at the realisation that he pretty much just admitted he didn't see girls.

'So erm…' he mumbled, trying to move the conversation swiftly on. 'Is everything okay?' she'd never been to his dorm. He'd never invited her, it seemed too… weird seeing as they were only friends. Being alone together in his room seemed far too intimate, but it seemed Meredith didn't think anything of it. Well, they were just friends after all.

'Yeah.' She sighed, leaning back on the wall in the same way he was. 'Dan's over.' She rolled her eyes. 'I mean it wouldn't be so bad if they were just having sex but they're so….so…' she trailed off pulling a face. 'Gooey.' She finished.

'Gooey?' he laughed.

'Yes stop laughing.' She said as seriously as she could. 'They're all… coupley.'

'Coupley?' he laughed again. 'Isn't that normal for couples?'

'Shut up.' She said, trying not to laugh. 'You don't get it.'

'Do I not?' he said sarcastically.

'I mean, normally when I get home from the bar they're just having sex, and usually so am I so it's not a problem. And in the morning they're usually having sex too. And that's fine. But tonight in my room all I could hear was them being all…. Gooey.'

'What does gooey even mean?' he said, trying not to let her hear the pain in his chest at the thought of her having drunken sex with some stranger.

'Like all over each other and giggling and telling each other they love each other every two minutes it makes me feel queasy.'

'Hate to break it to you but if they're a couple that behaviour is pretty normal.' He chuckled.

'Yeah, well, I cant deal with it.' She pouted. 'I'm sorry if I ruined your evening.' She said, turning to face him.

'Of course you didn't.' he smiled softly at her. 'Quite the opposite.'

'So, is this what you do every night? Sit with the guys and watch tv?'

'Mostly.' He nodded. 'Sometimes they go out.'

'Why don't you come out?' she said, cocking her head to the side. God, she was so beautiful.

'I… um, not really my scene.' He managed to choke out. 'It's alright every once in a while I guess.'

'You should come out, Derek. You'd have fun.' She smiled. God, he loved her smile. _Stop._ He had to stop. She was his friend.

'No, thanks. It's fine. Really.' He laughed nervously. 'Where the fuck is this pizza?' he groaned, looking at his watch.

'I thought you didn't like pizza.'

'Oh no, I like it.' He smirked. 'I just eat it very rarely. Everything in moderation.'

'Well you could have fooled me with the face you pull every time I eat it.'

'Hey I'm not that bad!' he protested.

'Whatever.' She giggled and rolled her eyes.

'Anyway, I'm hungry. Have you eaten?'

She shook her head. 'I was going to. But then when I went in the kitchen they were sickening on the sofa.'

He just laughed. 'Okay. I'm going to order us some more.'

'Okay.' She giggled. 'Thanks Derek.'

'Pepperoni, right?'

'Of course.' She smiled coyly as he pulled his cell out of his bag.

'I'm just gonna go get another drink while I order.' He passed her the tv remote. 'Have a flick through and see if there's anything you want to watch. I have some movies on the side too.'

'Thanks.' She grinned, taking it off him as he slipped out of the door.

He had to take a deep breath. He and Meredith were never going to happen. She was just his friend. But she was in his room, on his bed. And he couldn't think of anything more perfect, he could imagine hanging out with her every night. But he knew it was going to be torture sitting on the bed next to her all night not being able to touch her. She was wearing sweats and a hoodie with her hair as it had been this afternoon, in gentle waves framing her face.

He ordered her a pepperoni pizza and himself a vegetable pizza, and her a tub of strawberry ice cream, before getting them another beer each and walking back in to find her watching some chick flick.

'What's this then?'

'My favourite.' She grinned.

'Pretty woman?' he rolled his eyes, sitting back on the bed and opening his own beer before placing hers on the side while she finished her first.

'A secret fan, are we?' she giggled. 'Richard Gere didn't strike me as your type.'

'My sisters like him, actually.' He said indignantly.

'Whatever.' She giggled, before turning to him cautiously. 'Derek,'

'Yeah?' he replied, turning from the tv.

'You're not…. I mean I was only joking… but you never talk about girls or anything….'

He choked on his beer and sat upright. 'No.' he said clearing his throat. 'No. Definitely not.'

'Oh, good.' She sighed in relief. 'I didn't think you were but I didn't… I didn't mean to offend you, you know… if you were.'

'I'm not.' he nodded.

'Good.' She smiled. 'So, do you have some girlfriend I don't know about then?' she teased.

'Can't say I do, sorry to disappoint.'

'Then you should come out with us and find someone!'

'No.' he blushed. 'I'm fine.'

'Derek, you have to promise me that one night before the end of the month you'll come out with me. Just once.'

'Really?' he groaned.

'Yes. We've been here two months now. Please. In the next two weeks?'

'Fine.' He sighed.

'Thank you.' She grinned. 'Did you order the pizza okay?'

'Yes. A Pepperoni for the lady.'

'How much was it?'

'Oh, its fine. On me.' He smiled.

'Are you sure?'

'Certain.'

'Thanks Derek.' She smiled at him sincerely and his heart almost melted.

'You're welcome.'

'So. If you don't have a girlfriend, you must have had an ex girlfriend at some point?'

'One or two.' He laughed, neither of them watching the film anymore, but sat side by side, leaning against his wall, her legs loosely crossed.

'Ooooo, this is interesting.'

'Is it?'

'Gossip. Now.'

'You sound like my sisters.'

'Shut up. You love your sisters.' She said, raising her eyebrows at him.

'Fine.' He sighed. 'My first girlfriend was called Chloe.'

'Chloe?'

'Chloe.' He nodded.

'What was she like?'

'We were in high school, she was nice.'

'Cheer leader?'

'You're kidding, right?' he laughed.

'No- tell me.'

'She was in band.' He admitted.

'Band?' she laughed.

'Hey! I was in band too.'

'Oh no you weren't.' she giggled.

'I was! Chloe played the saxophone.'

'Did she now?'

'She was nice.'

'How long did you guys date?'

'A few months.' He shrugged.

'Did you love her?'

He sighed. 'No, I didn't.'

'That's sad.'

'Not really.' He laughed. 'She was my first girlfriend, hardly the love of my life.'

'Why did you guys break up?'

'I don't know. When school finished she was going to college in Boston… it just wasn't strong enough to survive that kind of distance.'

'It's not that far.' she said, confused.

'Oh. No, it was a couple years ago now. I took some years out.'

'Oh.' She said. 'How long?'

'Three years.'

'So you're 21?'

'Yep.'

'I thought you might be a year older.'

'Did you now?'

'Yep. But I didn't guess three.'

'Mark is too.' He nodded.

'How come? Travelling?'

'Oh, no.' he said, his breath catching in his throat. 'I erm… my dad was sick.'

'Oh, crap. Derek, I'm sorry.' She said, looking down. 'Sorry.'

'It's okay, you didn't know.' He smiled. 'He passed just over a year ago.'

'Derek,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay. I think. I think it's okay.'

She smiled weakly at him and there was a silence for a minute where neither of them really knew what to say. So she reached her hand out tentatively and rested it on his. He smiled sadly at her appreciatively.

'So,' he cleared his throat. 'What about you?'

'What?' she said, pulling her hand away due to the sudden topic change.

'Exes.' He sipped his drink.

'Oh. No, not really.' She stuttered.

'hmmmm, are you sure?' he raised his eyebrows.

'Not really.' She said, looking down and suddenly fidgeting with the paper wrapper on the beer bottle. He studied her face a little, he knew he shouldn't pry any more. But they were friends, right? He should know stuff?

'You, erm… no-one in high school?'

'Well, there were people I guess. Just not real people.'

'Real people?' he laughed slightly, trying to make her more relaxed.

'Well, _they_ were real.' She kind of laughed, looking up to meet his gaze. 'But no _thing_ …. Real. Not really.'

'That's okay.' He said softly.

'Really?' she laughed harshly. 'Sleeping with more people than I can count or even remember, is okay?'

'If it's what makes you happy.' He tried to smile, as she met his eyes again.

There was the longest pause of the evening between them as he searched her eyes desperately, she looked so confused, so lost, so vulnerable. This was the first time in their friendship she'd in any way let her guard down. Whenever her mom came up she changed the conversation and didn't breathe a word, the same with nights out. She never actually told him about guys she got with he heard through other people, _and she knew he knew_ , but they never spoke about it. This was the first time. And his heart was clenching at vulnerable Meredith. He wanted to understand why. Why she didn't see that she was worth more than just a random fuck from a guy who probably wouldn't even be able to remember her name. She deserved someone who cared for her and looked after her and loved her like she was the most precious thing in the world, even if it wasn't him. She deserved someone who thought of her that way.

'What if it doesn't' make me happy?' she said in the smallest voice he was sure he'd ever heard.

Just when he thought he couldn't want to protect her anymore his heart seemed to implode. She was trusting him with her feelings and he got the feeling that she didn't do that with a lot of people. She seemed to keep herself to herself, even with Cristina, and just as he was about to open his mouth, his bedroom door swung open.

'Apparently you ordered more Pizza.' Said Mark. 'Get your ass out here cause I ain't paying.'

'Oh. Yeah. Right.' He said, jumping up from the bed and pulling his wallet out of his pocket as Meredith's gaze shifted back to her beer bottle.

'You okay, Grey?' said Mark as Derek went to pay for the pizza.

'Yeah, yeah. I'm good thanks.' She nodded, smiling at him.

'You know, I saw some strawberry ice cream with that order.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'I give him crap, but he's a good friend, you know. Don't hurt him.'

'I won't.' she said, confused. 'Derek's my best friend too.'


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey guys thank you all so much for reading! And thank you for the nice feedback it really makes my day and is a motivator to write more. So please review, thank you._

Meredith had been spending a lot of time at Derek's dorm since her first visit. They normally studied as usual then both headed straight back to his dorm, where he would cook them dinner while she watched TV or called Cristina. He was a really good cook. Pizza was still her favourite, obviously. But if they ordered in pizza every time she went over she'd have nothing in her bank account at all. She was there _that_ much. But he did always have strawberry ice cream in his freezer, even though she knew he didn't like it.

He hadn't kept his promise though. He'd promised her he would come out within the last two weeks and he hadn't. It had been two weeks and he still had never been to a bar with her. He'd kept promising her he would after he got his bio 102 test out of the way, but then it was thanks giving so he went home with Mark for four days and the two weeks were up. She hadn't seen him in four days and she felt like she'd lost a limb or something.

She'd been out with Cristina and Izzie, and even Sarah, but she had no idea what to do with her time when she would usually be studying with Derek. Cristina and Izzie were great to have a bitch and a moan with, but no one was as easy to be around as Derek. He made her laugh all the time. And only being able to call and text him just wasn't enough. She missed him. She actually missed Derek. She had missed him when he'd gone home the first time, but this was something different. She was counting down the days to him coming back before he'd even left, and she felt miserable just knowing that he wasn't down the hall. He had become her best friend, in a different way to Cristina, and she was super excited to go round tonight and watch a movie with him.

She felt herself practically running down the corridor to his dorm and knocking very eagerly.

'Grey.' Mark nodded, opening the door where she saw Derek behind him, standing chopping something in the kitchen area.

'Hey.' She smiled.

'Hey Mer.' Derek smiled, turning around.

'Hey.' She grinned.

'Chicken pasta okay for you?'

'Perfect.' She grinned again. She needed to stop grinning. 'All I've eaten is pizza and grilled cheese since you left.'

'Why does that not surprise me?' he laughed, turning back to the food.

'So, how was thanks giving?'

'Good, thanks.' He smiled.

'Good.' She nodded.

'What did you do?'

'When?'

'Thanks giving.'

'Oh, yeah, right.' She laughed. 'Me and Cristina drank. All day.'

'All day?'

'All day.'

'Impressive.'

'Thank you.' She giggled. 'was your mom happy to see you?'

'Yeah, it was really nice actually.' He smiled. Family really wasn't her thing. Moms were especially not her thing, but family was Derek's thing. And just because she didn't want to talk about her family didn't mean Derek shouldn't talk about his. She was his friend as much as he was hers. And while he helped keep her mind off her family, he didn't necessarily need the same thing.

'What's she called?'

'What?' he asked absently.

'Your mom. What's she called?'

'Alison. What are we doing the family talk now after being friends almost three months?' he laughed. And she knew he was mocking her, but she also knew he didn't mean anything by it.

'Yes.' She nodded. 'Well, you are.'

'I am?'

'Yes. I may be dark and twisty in the family department but you're not. And I want to know. So tell me.'

'Okay,' he laughed. 'My mom is called Alison, and you know about my sisters.'

'Imogen, Lara, Claire and…' she trailed off, racking her brains for the fourth Shepherd sister's name.

'Olivia.' He finished for her.

'Right.' She nodded, she knew that. 'And Imogen's the youngest.'

'Imogen's the youngest, Lara's the oldest, Claire's the second oldest and Olivia's before Imogen.'

'And you're in-between Claire and Olivia.'

'I am.'

'Do you have a favourite?'

'How could you possibly ask me that? I love all my sisters equally.' He said, stirring the pasta.

'Get out your ass, Shep. Of course he has a favourite.' Piped up Mark from the couch, who apparently was listening to their conversation.

'Fine. Imogen is my favourite but you'll never hear me say it again.'

'It's pretty obvious.' Said Mark, again.

'It is?' she laughed.

'Not really.' Derek shrugged. 'I love them all.'

'What are they like?' she said, genuinely interested.

'Well, Lara is funny. They're all funny actually. But Lara's probably the funniest, she's very dry and sarcastic.'

'How old is she?'

'Twenty five. At Columbia med school.'

'She wants to be a doctor too?'

'Yup.'

'Okay so what about Claire?'

'She's probably the smartest out of all of us. She's 23 and at Harvard law.'

'Seriously?'

'Seriously. She's a brain box. She's kinda…. I don't know-'

'Stuck up.' Said Mark.

'She's not stuck up.' Derek rolled his eyes. 'She just… she likes the finer things in life. And can be a bit pessimistic sometimes. But that makes her sound a lot worse than she is.'

'What about Olivia?' she asked, suddenly realising that Derek had a whole life outside of her, with four other girls who he looked after probably the same way he did her.

'She's girly. Like, the girliest girl I've ever met.'

'Really?' she giggled.

'Really.' Him and Mark both said in unison.

'Even girlier than Izzie?'

'Definitely girlier than Izzie.' He said, draining their pasta.

'How old is she?'

'Twenty. She started college this year too, at NYU.'

'Fuck knows how.' Sighed Mark, still not even turning around.

'Seriously, if you met her you wouldn't think she was doing pre-med. Some of the things she comes out with are….'

'Dumb.' Said Mark bluntly, to which Derek just rolled his eyes.

'She's a bit of a blonde, ditzy.'

'She sounds like Izzie.' She laughed.

'Times ten.' He nodded, sitting down opposite her and handing her a plate of pasta.

'Thank you.' She smiled, picking up a fork as he stood again to get two beers out of the freezer.

'She's harmless, though.' He smiled. 'Heart of gold.'

'And what about Imogen?'

'Imogen is…. Imogen.' He laughed.

'Very descriptive, Derek.' She teased.

'Shut up.' He retorted. 'She's seventeen.'

'High school?'

'Yeah, she'd really smart.' He nodded. 'But I don't think she'll go down the doctor or lawyer route.'

'Nah.' Agreed Mark.

'She's just… I don't even know.' He shook his head. 'She's just Imogen.'

'Do they have boyfriends?'

'Ha! Not that they'd tell him about.' Scoffed Mark before standing and making his way over to the table. 'Looks good. Any left over, Shep?'

Derek rolled his eyes and gestured to the pan. 'How did I know you'd want some?'

'Thanks buddy.' Mark smiled sweetly.

'Lara has a boyfriend, Jake. She's been seeing him about two years now.' He nodded.

'Is he nice?'

'Damn right. He wouldn't be with her if he wasn't.'

'You're cute when you get protective.' She giggled.

'Shut up.' He groaned.

'What about the others?'

'No.'

'That he knows about.' Smirked Mark, sitting to eat with them.

'Shut up Mark.'

'You do remember Imy was in a car with a boy when it crashed, right?'

'Yes, I remember.'

'Well there you go then.'

'He's not her boyfriend.' Derek groaned.

'Yeah, right.' Smirked Mark. 'Totally her boyfriend.' He turned to Meredith, to which she giggled.

'Imogen and Olivia are like Ying and Yang you never see one without the other. Well, now Liv's started college she's not around, but they're really close.'

'It's kinda weird.' Said Mark. 'They might as well be dating.' Shovelling more pasta in his mouth as Derek rolled his eyes at her.

'Do they all get on?' she said, before also eating some of the dinner Derek had made her, which was really good.

'Yeah.' He shrugged. 'Lara and Claire argued a lot when we were kids, but they love each other really. I think everyone being at college makes it easier, because when we see each other it's special. Rather than getting under each other's skin twenty four seven.'

'I just don't know what we're going to do when Imogen goes to college.' Said Mark. 'Ma on her own in that house.'

'I know.' Derek sighed. 'She might not go though.'

'And do what?' Mark laughed. 'Anyway, she's bright.'

'But she's also Imogen.' Derek reminded before enlightening Meredith. 'She's not very conventional, she just does what she wants.'

'That's good I guess.' She shrugged. 'She's her own person.

'Oh she's definitely that.' Laughed Mark.

'What about your mom, what's she like?' Meredith asked.

'I don't know.' Laughed Derek. 'Mark?'

'She's like… I don't know. I mean, you probably know she's not my _real_ mom. But she _is_ my real mom. She's…. imagine a Hallmark card family? She's the mom. She cooks and she bakes you cookies and she tucks you in bed with chicken soup when you're sick, she quizzes every girl you bring home, she's at every school event- band concerts if you're Derek, graduations, everything- she's there with her camera telling you how proud of you she is. She's just mom.'

'She sounds nice.' Meredith whispered and she caught Derek looking at her softly. Her mom was nothing like that, she never attended anything of Meredith's and as for looking after her when she was sick- she told her she had real sick people to look after before leaving for the hospital. She never talked about her family and this was why- they were nothing like Derek's. And apparently he'd picked up on that, with his soft, reassuring gaze.

'She gave us cookies to bring home.' He said, knowing she suddenly felt awkward. 'I told her you're obsessed with chocolate and candy so she gave me loads of chocolate cookies and also some candy she bought from the store for you.'

'For me?'

'Yeah.'

'You- you told your mom about me?'

'Yeah,' he shrugged, confused at her confused face. 'She was asking about the friends we've made here, and you're my best friend, so of course I told her about you.'

'Oh.'

'She said that you sound lovely.' He smiled. 'And then she asked what you were doing for Thanksgiving so I told her I didn't think you had any plans to go home, that's when she asked about the food. Then when we were leaving she gave me two tins of cookies, one for our dorm and one for yours, and loads of candy which is in my room for you.'

'She didn't have to do that.' Meredith shook her head quickly.

'She wanted to.' Derek shrugged. 'It's just what she does.'

'Oh… well, tell her… thanks.' She smiled genuinely. Her mom had never given her a treat like that before, ever. And she'd never even met Alison Shepherd.

'You're more than welcome.' He smiled.

 _Thank you for reading! (A review would be appreciated!)_


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for reading and to those of you who give feedback. I know you want them together- I know, I know... So do I. But I guess we're just going to have to wait a little longer._

'Derek.' She demanded, walking into his room after Mark let her in, dressed in skinny fitting black jeans and a silver satin bardot neck top, a choker round her neck and her hair in the loose waves that always framed her face.

'What?' he breathed, looking up from the TV, shocked by her sudden presence in his room at nine pm.

'It's the last week of semester and you promised me ages ago you would come out, and now it's the last week of semester. It's Monday night, Jason Sims is having a party and you are coming with me.'

'What?' he laughed.

'You heard me, you are coming.' She placed her hands on her hips. 'Well get up then, you can't go dressed like that.'

'One- I'm not going, and two- what's wrong with my clothes?!'

'Get changed, Derek.' She ordered.

'Fine.' He sighed.

'According to Mark Dex and Tim are going too, so you'll have some pals.'

'They didn't mention it.' He shrugged, still sat on his bed.

'Do they normally tell you where they're going out?'

'Fair point.'

'Come on, Derek. Changed, now.' She said, walking to his wardrobe.

'What are you doing?'

'Finding you something to wear.'

'I do have clothes, Mer.'

'Yes I know you do, I can see from this very full wardrobe that you have clothes. But what are you going to wear?'

'I don't know.' He shrugged. 'Let me have a look.' He pushed past her slightly to look for himself. 'Jeans and a shirt?'

'Shirt?' she scrunched her nose.

'Well what else?'

'Have you got any nice T Shirts?'

'Let me have a look.' He said, rummaging through the hangers. 'This?'

'Mmmmm.' She scrunched her nose again.

'Fine.' He sighed. 'This one?' he said, pulling out a navy blue shirt with a pale blue Ralph Lauren logo on the top left corner.

'Nice.' She smiled. 'And normal jeans?'

'Yeah. Rolled up once?'

'Do you have to?' she grimaced.

'It looks good!' he protested.

'Fine.' She said, pulling his jeans out the wardrobe and shoving them to him. 'Get changed and come out when you're done.'

'Okay.' He mirrored her sarcastic smile and began to get changed as the door shut behind her.

'You don't actually think he'll stick it at Sims' do you?' smirked Mark as Meredith opened their fridge and got herself one of Derek's beers.

'Shut up.' She groaned, sitting down.

'I'm being serious.' He said. 'This is Derek, we're talking about. He doesn't go out.'

'Well he is tonight.'

'You're mad, you know.'

'Why?'

'You're taking Shep to a party. He doesn't party.'

'Never?'

'Well, I mean, he _has._ But he doesn't, generally.'

'Well he is tonight.'

'You look good.'

'Don't even think about it.' She cut him off just as Derek emerged from his room. He looked good in his t-shirt and jeans, and even though she hated to admit it, he did suit them rolled up. His hair looked good too, and as he sat next to her, with a beer for himself, he smelt really good.

'Ready.' He said.

'I can see.'

'Where even is this party, then?'

'His house five minutes from campus.'

'He has a house?'

'Yeah, him and Frank Rutherford have one. It was Izzie who was invited, think she's in his physics.'

'Izzie was invited, not you?'

'Yeah.' She shrugged.

'Will they let us in?'

'What?' she laughed.

'Well… you're not Izzie.'

'Well done, Shep.' Mark sneered.

'Shut up, Mark.' Said Meredith. 'Of course- we're meeting Izzie and Cristina there, and anyway, you don't have to be invited to go to a party.'

'You don't?'

'No.' she giggled slightly. 'Now, drink up quick, we need to call to the store on the way.'

'What for?'

'Drink, duh.'

'Oh.'

'So come on, finish.' She said, tipping his beer bottle into his mouth and forcing him to finish the rest. 'Great. Let's go.'

'Okay.' He sighed, standing up and putting their bottles in the bin.

'Yay!' she giggled, pulling on his hand as he gave her a reluctant look.

'Do I have to?'

'Yes. Now, come on.' She said excitedly, saying bye to Mark and pulling him out the door.

When they got to the campus store, like a true gent, Derek paid for her bottle of tequila even though she'd taken her own money for it. And almost got himself some scotch, until she told him scotch is _not_ what you drink at a party, so in the end he bought himself some vodka and a bottle of lemonade to mix it with.

'You really didn't have to buy it for me, Derek.' She said as they walked off Campus.

'I know.' He shrugged, carrying the bag with both their alcohol in.

'I mean, I know you had to buy it because you're the legal one, but I have the money right here I can pay you back.'

'I know.' He nodded. 'But it's okay, I'll get it.'

'I'm the one making you come out.'

'I know.' He repeated.

'You're ridiculous.' She laughed. 'Why won't you just let me pay you?'

'No. I've paid, that's that.'

'Thanks.' She said quietly.

'It's okay.' He said quietly, smiling at her. When he smiled at her she couldn't help but smile back.

She couldn't explain her friendship with Derek. It wasn't like Izzie or Cristina, or Sarah. She didn't know if it was because he was a boy or what, but things were just different. He looked after her. He always made sure she was okay, always brought her food when he knew she was hungry, cooked her dinner almost every night because he knew she couldn't cook- even if she would leave soon after to go out drinking. He always asked her about her day, and he was the first person she would call with her grades, because he would always be excited and proud of her. And if there was something she didn't understand, he would try his best to help her, and if he didn't know, he'd ask Mark to help her. He gave her his own tin of cookies after she admitted she'd already eaten all of hers, and he even invited her to his house for Christmas, if she was only going to be in her dorm like she was for Thanksgiving.

She was unfortunately, going home for the holidays- not that the thought of going to Derek's for Christmas didn't scare the crap out of her, because it did. He had four sisters and a very momish mom, and she was only ever used to her absent mom. Derek's would have been way too much, even though she knew he would have tried his best to make it okay for her. And it really touched her that he offered for her to go. He was a real friend to her, probably the best friend she'd ever had.

And she was really excited to spend the night out with him tonight. Hopefully he'd let his hair down- she'd seen him relaxed before, he was so funny when they sat and watched movies together on his bed or couch. But she'd never seen him drunk, and she had a feeling he would be funny.

They could see which one was Jason's house from down the street, it looked pretty crazy. Meredith grinned to herself, it was going to be a good night. She could see Izzie outside on the phone to someone, which meant Cristina must be inside.

'Hey.' She smiled at Izzie.

'Oh, hi.' Said Izzie away from the phone.

'Everything okay?'

'Yeah, good. I just have to take this- Cris is inside, with a guy… Alex I think he's called?'

'Cool.' Said Meredith, pulling on Derek's hand again. 'Come on.'

'Hey Derek.' Smiled Izzie.

'Hey.' He said.

'Come on, Derek.' Meredith groaned.

'Coming.' He nodded, following her as she giggled and led them into the house.

This was not his scene. She could tell he felt awkward and she kind of felt bad because he felt really, _really,_ awkward. He said he was fine and would sit where he was in the kitchen and would wait for Dexter and Tim to arrive while she danced with Cristina. But she could see him out of the corner of her eye, looking down into his drink awkwardly while all the popular, non-geeky boys were drinking around him, making no effort to socialise with him.

'Cris, I think… I think I'm going to go.'

'What?!' yelled Cristina. 'You cant leave me here while Izzie and Alex suck face all night.'

'I…' she stuttered. 'Derek.' She sighed.

'Seriously is brain boy still sat there like a puppy?'

'Cristina, be nice.' She frowned.

'He needs to get drunk.'

'He's been drinking! I just think…. These aren't his people…'

'He's boring.'

'He's not boring.' Meredith protested.

'You're going home early to babysit brain boy- can he not just go home on his own or something?'

'I made him come I can't just send him home alone.'

'Come on Mer,' she rolled her eyes. 'Anyway, that guy with Andy Taylor is totally checking you out.'

'What?' she breathed, turning to see the blonde, muscly guy staring at her ass. 'Oh.'

'Still want to go home?' Cristina smirked.

'Urugh, no.' she groaned. 'He's really hot.' Her mind kept fliting from one thing to another. This guy was hot. Really hot. And he was checking her out, and she still had half a bottle of tequila to drink, but she couldn't help watching Derek. She felt really bad, she'd dragged him here and she should be drinking and sitting with him rather than dancing with Cristina. 'But…' she trailed off. 'Derek's my friend.'

'Since when have you chosen a friend over a screw.' Cristina laughed harshly.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Meredith frowned.

'Nothing.' Cristina replied immediately. 'It's just…' she trailed off.

'What?' she said a bit more indignantly this time.

'You know….'

'What?' she repeated.

'You like a good screw. And there's nothing wrong with it- I mean, everybody does… it's just you more than most.' She shrugged.

'Are you calling me a whore?'

'No. Yes. No.'

'No yes no?' she said, her hands on her hips at this point.

'Well, a bit Mer….'

'Screw you.' She snapped, narrowing her eyes, and reaching for her bottle of tequila and storming into the kitchen to find Derek. 'We're going.' She demanded when she stopped in front of him, picking up his bottle of Vodka.

'Oh…. Okay.' He said warily, reaching for the lemonade. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' She said. 'Let's go.'

As they made their way out of the kitchen and back through the living room, the blonde guy who had been checking her out before came in front of them, ignoring Derek completely and stopping Meredith in her tracks.

'Hey,' he smirked, his hand going immediately to her ass causing Derek to raise his eyebrows and awkwardly turn around.

'Hi.' She replied uninterestedly. 'I was just leaving.'

'Leaving?' he frowned.

'Yes.' She said, ignoring his looks at this moment, Cristina's words at the front of her mind.

'Stay.' He said, leaning in closer to her face. 'Please?'

'Sorry.' She pulled back slightly.

'Come on, you could stay a while and then maybe me and you could…' he trailed off.

'No, but thanks.' She replied awkwardly, pulling back even more. 'Sorry, I have to go.'

'Jason said you were hot and easy, you're not exactly making this easy.' He laughed.

His words stabbed her right where it hurt. _Easy_. She didn't know what hurt her more, the fact people were saying it or the fact it was true. Boys didn't see her as a challenge, as valuable, they saw her as easy and available. She desperately looked behind her for Derek, to see him stood awkwardly in the middle of everyone dancing, holding his bottle of lemonade trying to give her privacy.

'Derek,' she said loudly enough for him to hear, but not too loud that her nearly cracking voice would give in. He took a couple of seconds to meet her eye, but as soon as she did she nodded towards the door and he nodded back, stepping forward.

'Bye.' She said, pulling out of the blonde's grasp for good and pulling Derek's arm until they reached outside.

'You okay?'

'Fine.' She said.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, Derek.' She snapped.

'Sorry,' he said.

'No.' she sighed. 'I'm sorry.'

'What for?' he said gently as they made their way back to campus. 'You've not done anything.'

'I shouldn't have forced you to come out tonight.'

'You didn't force me, Mer.'

'I kinda did.'

'Despite what you might think, Meredith Grey, you can't force me to do anything. I could have said no.'

'Still.' She mumbled.

'Mer, you… I'm not mad at you, you know that, right?'

'You're not?'

'No.' he laughed. 'Why would I be?'

'You told me you didn't like parties… I shouldn't have… and then just left you…'

'Mer, you like parties and I said I'd go with you. I'll admit it wasn't really my scene, not my kind of people, but if Dex and Tim were there it would have been fine.'

'Yeah, but they weren't there and I just ditched you.'

'You're friends were there.' He shrugged.

'You're my friend.' She said weakly.

'Don't feel bad Mer.' He smiled. 'Aren't you cold?'

'I'm fine.'

'Mer,' he cocked his head to the side.

'Fine, I'm freezing.' She sighed, unable to resist his big, concerned eyes.

'Come here.' He said, shrugging his jacket off and holding their alcohol while she slipped it on. It drowned her, but it was really warm, and smelt like him.

'Thanks.' She smiled, reaching for the bottles.

'I'll carry them, it's fine.'

She wondered what she'd done to deserve a friend as good as him. She'd dragged him out and cost him about forty dollars on alcohol, all for her to ditch him for Cristina. And here he was, lending her his jacket and carrying her things. He really did take care of her, even if she was a whore.

'Thanks, Derek.' She smiled at him sincerely.

'You're welcome.' He smiled back.

 _Thank you for reading please review! X_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and thank you for the kind reviews._

Derek's Christmas was weird. He was glad to be home and with his family, they hadn't all been together since Thanksgiving and he had really missed them. His mom had been especially glad to have them all home, and he got the feeling Imogen was feeling a little smothered living alone with Alison, and welcomed her siblings' presence, however annoying.

It was hard, though. The second Christmas without his dad, and it wasn't much easier than the first. His chair was always empty, no one dared sit in it, and there was no one at the table. There was a hole in their family that he didn't think would ever be filled, he and Mark were the men of the house now, and they were no match for his dad.

Meredith had gone home for the holidays, much to his disappointment. Her being there may have made it easier, but she was going home to Seattle, to Ellis Grey. Not that she hadn't been in touch, she'd been texting him non-stop. So much so that Imogen asked if she was his girlfriend when she constantly kept seeing her name pop up on his phone. He got the vibe that Christmas wasn't her thing, she never seemed to be doing anything and never seemed to be with anyone. Her mother had arranged for her chauffer to bring her and her stuff back today, whereas him and Mark had arrived back the day before.

Eating without her in their dorm was weird, she had become a third resident at meal times, and cooking for two felt strange. At least she would be back soon, he was just sat by his phone, waiting for her to call.

She hadn't been herself since they went to the party together, the five days following it before they went home, she didn't drink or go partying at all. She had dinner with them every night and stayed and watched a movie, then went back to her dorm. He wasn't sure what was up with her, but apparently she wasn't spending any time with Cristina, or Izzie, and apparently she hadn't spoken to them over the holidays either. He had a feeling her and Cristina had a falling out at the party, but he had no clue what about.

His face lit up at the same time as his phone screen. She was back.

'Hey.' He smiled into his phone.

'Hey.'

'How was your journey?'

'Good, thanks. But I'm really hungry.'

'Why am I not surprised?' he laughed. 'Do you want to come over and I'll make lunch? Or the coffee shop for a pizza?'

'I would, but I have to unpack my stuff. It's everywhere.' She groaned.

'Want me to come help? It'll be done quicker with the two of us, and I'll bring food?'

'Are you sure? There's a lot of stuff, Derek.'

'I'm sure. I haven't seen you in ages.'

'It's been three weeks.' She giggled.

'Exactly. Ages.' He smirked before swapping his humorous tone for a more genuine one. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too.' She said quietly.

'So shall I pick us up a pizza?'

'Make it two.'

He walked to the coffee shop and paid for one pepperoni pizza and one Hawaiian for himself, as well as her favourite caramel iced coffee and the biggest piece of chocolate cake they had, then made his way to her dorm. He could hear her inside banging about.

'Mer?' he called, unable to knock on the door for the food boxes in his hands.

'Hey!' she grinned, finally opening the door to him after stumbling through the plethora of boxes cluttering the room.

'Hey.' He grinned back. 'I brought pizza.'

'Yeah, right, come in.' she stumbled, still grinning, stepping back to let him in.

'Wow, you weren't kidding- how much stuff did you take home?'

'A lot more than it turns out I needed.' She giggled. 'Anyway, pizza break.'

'Pizza break.' He nodded, placing he boxes on the table and pulling her coffee and cake out of the paper bag.

'What's this?'

'For you.' He said simply.

'Derek, you didn't have to get me this.'

'I know.' He shrugged. 'I wanted to.'

'Thanks.' She smiled warmly, picking up her pizza and urging him to follow her onto the couch.

'You're welcome.'

'So, how was the holidays?' she said before taking almost half a slice of pizza into her mouth.

'Okay.' He nodded.

'You don't sound overly sure about that.' She teased.

'No they were.' He reassured her. 'I mean they were good, but it's still weird, without dad.'

'Shit. Sorry. Of course it is.' She cringed.

'It's fine, Mer. Honestly.'

'Okay.' She said unconvinced, until she looked up to see the sincerity in his eyes.

'Anyway, how about your holidays?'

'Boring.' She shrugged.

'Boring?' he laughed. 'I thought you'd be out partying every night?!' As soon as he said it he knew it was the wrong thing to say, her face instantly dropped as she took a sip of her iced coffee. Maybe it wasn't a fight with Cristina that was up with her if she wasn't going out even when she was home.

'Not quite.' She tried to laugh.

'Listen, Mer…. Are you… are you okay?'

'What? Yeah, I'm fine.'

'Are you sure?'

'Derek,' she cut him off. 'I'm fine, okay? I just… don't like holidays.'

'Okay. You don't like holidays.' He repeated.

'Right.' She nodded.

'Not even Christmas day?'

'Nope.'

'But its Christmas day.'

'Just like any other day in our house.'

'Surely it must be at least a little bit more special than any other day?'

She shook her head.

'Don't you have any traditions? Don't you do stuff with your mom and dad that you wouldn't do normally? Games? Anything?'

'Nope.'

'Nothing?'

'Nothing.'

'So, you're in your room while your mom and dad watch TV? That's what you're telling me you do on Christmas day?' he mocked outrage.

'More like my mom's at work 24 hours of the day and my dad's nowhere to be seen just like he hasn't the last fourteen years.' She said bluntly.

Shit. He hadn't meant to pry. He had no idea her dad wasn't around, and even though he'd heard about Ellis Grey being a taskmaster he didn't think even she'd not spend Christmas with her daughter. And from the bitterness in Meredith's voice- he mom wasn't a topic of conversation to elaborate on.

'I'm sorry, Mer.' He said quietly. 'I… I didn't know.'

'I know.' She sighed, still not looking up at him. 'It's okay. It's my fault for snapping, you didn't know. I'm sorry.'

'Well,' he sighed after a moment of silence. 'We're not the best examples of Christmas cheer are we?'

'No.' she giggled.

'How's the pizza?'

'Real good.' She nodded with a mouthful.

'Good.' He smiled. 'What you doing tonight?'

'I was thinking we could watch a movie?' she said hopefully.

'That sounds good.' He smiled. 'You not going out with Cristina?'

'No.' she shrugged simply. 'What do you want to watch?'

'You two still not made up?' He said, ignoring her avoidance.

'Derek I never even said we fell out.'

'I know you didn't. But something's wrong.'

'Nothing's wrong.'

'Mer,' he sighed.

'Derek, leave it.'

'Fine.' He laughed slightly. 'Only trying to help.'

'I know.' She smiled. 'But it's fine.'

'Okay.' He smiled. 'As long as you're okay.'

'I'm good.' She smiled.

'Okay so what movie tonight?'

'Don't mind.' She shrugged.

'How about we go to the movies rather than watching one at my place?'

'Sounds good.' She grinned. 'I don't know what's new out though.'

'Me neither, I guess we could just go and see.'

'Sure. What time?'

'Well, how about we unpack all of this, give you a couple of hours for a nap and then I meet you back here at seven?'

'A nap?' she giggled.

'You look tired.'

'I am.' She whispered.

'Okay, then seven it is.' He nodded, looking round at all of her stuff that they still had to sort out. 'Seriously Mer, how much stuff do you own?'

'Shut up.' She laughed, throwing a cushion at him.

'Hey!' he mocked, throwing one back at her, eliciting another laugh from her. 'What time is Sarah due back?' he asked, still smiling.

'She's already here. She's at Dan's.' she rolled her eyes.

'Are they still loved up?'

'That's one word for it I guess.' She grimaced. 'They met up for New Years, couldn't wait another week to see eachother or something.'

'That's sweet.'

'No, Derek. It's not sweet it's disgusting.'

'Oh shush, you.' He laughed.

'Are you mocking my severe emotional limitations?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Maybe.' He grinned.

'Shut up and eat.' She giggled.

 _Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think! X_


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi guys! Here's another update for you because I'm feeling generous. Thank you for reading and please review!_

Meredith couldn't breathe. She didn't actually think that she could breathe. She was walking faster than she had ever walked before and she was pretty sure she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe and she needed Derek. She held her hand close to her cheek and ran up the stairs to his dorm room, practically sprinting to his door. She tried knocking calmly, impatient when there was no answer. He had to be in there, he _had_ to be. She tried banging a little louder this time.

'Derek?'

No answer.

'Derek?!' she shouted again after banging.

He had to be in there, it was half one in the morning and Derek didn't go out. Mark was probably out but Derek didn't go out and he had to be in there and she needed him to answer the door. She felt tears building in her eyes again as she banged for the third time. She was sure he would be there.

Her body slouched defeatedly against his door and she sighed, the tears stinging her eyes more and more. She knew she shouldn't have gone out tonight, and all she wanted right now was Derek. She couldn't face Cristina, or Izzie, or even Sarah, because she knew they all thought the same.

Her breath caught in her throat as she suddenly fell back as the door opened behind her.

'Mer?' said Derek groggily.

'Derek!' she gasped, turning to him immediately launching herself at him and burying her head in his chest.

'Mer?' he said confused as he felt her tears through the fabric of his pyjama top. 'Mer are you okay?' he whispered, moving to hug her. Her arms freezing cold.

'Yeah,' she whispered into his shirt, nodding.

'Are you sure? You don't seem okay?' he said, still half asleep, rubbing his hands along her arms and back, trying to warm her.

'Yeah.' She whimpered. 'No.' she gasped, pulling back.

'Mer,' he whispered, seeing her red swollen cheek and a slight blood-lined cut on her eyebrow, her hair all messy and the strap of her black camisole top almost torn completely off.

'Don't.' she whispered, shaking her head before her eyes opened wide. 'Shit. You were sleeping. Shit. I'm… I'm sorry. I'll go.' She mumbled, turning back to his open door before he grabbed her hand.

'Mer, stop. Calm down.' He murmured.

'Sorry, Derek. I should go.'

'Mer, come here.' He said gently, pulling on her arm so she was back in his arms. She was surprised by how immediately she melted into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'You're okay.' He breathed, rubbing a hand on her back. 'You're okay.'

'Hmmm.' She sniffled. Her head was all over the place.

'Okay,' he murmured. His eyes going to her torn strap and teary eyes. 'I'm going to get you a hoodie and some hot cocoa, you're freezing. Then you can tell me what's happened and his name so I can go and kick his ass so hard that-'

'I wasn't raped or anything, Derek.' She said, pulling back from him shaking her head.

'Thank fuck for that.' He breathed, and she saw something in his face relax a little. 'But I'm still going to kick his ass.'

'I… It wasn't… I'll explain in a minute.'

'Okay.' He nodded. 'I'll just get you a hoodie.'

'Okay.' She whispered, sitting on the couch as he shut the door before flicking the kettle on and going into his room. She was annoyed at herself for waking up but she didn't regret it, because she didn't know what she would do if she wasn't with Derek right now.

'Right.' He said, coming back with a pile of clothes in his arms. 'Hoodie, t-shirt and sweats. You, get changed now, you're arms are freezing so I'm assuming your legs are the same.' He gestured to her very short silver mini skirt.

'Oh.' She breathed. She hadn't even thought about being cold, but now that he mentioned it she was. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' He smiled. 'Some socks here too.'

'Thanks, Derek.' She whispered, wiping at her eye as he handed them to her.

'You can get changed in my room.'

'Thanks.' She smiled weakly taking herself into his room as she got changed.

When she came back out she saw a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows, on the table in front of where she'd been sat on the couch.

'I have strawberry ice cream too, but I thought that would defeat the object of trying to warm you up?' he smiled lightly.

'Yeah, maybe later.' She tried to smile, sitting next to him and taking a sip of her drink.

'You okay?' he murmured, laying a hand gently on her arm.

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'A lot better now.'

'Okay.'

'I… I went out tonight.'

'I kind of gathered.' He laughed. He was trying to make light, and she knew he was trying to make light but it still stung her somehow. Of course she went out. She was a dirty whore who went out all the time.

Sensing her tense up, he rubbed his thumb along her arm before lowering his voice gently.

'I didn't mean anything by it, Mer. I was just trying to make light.'

'I know.' She looked up, kicking herself. Derek was the only one of her friends who didn't judge her. 'I… er, went out tonight. For the first time in…. a long time. I haven't really been feeling like going out recently. But then we finished that Alexander paper today after it taking over our lives for like two weeks and I really wanted a drink. I was.. I was going to see if you wanted to go to a bar but then Sarah invited me to Dan's friend's party so I thought why not.'

'Slow down Mer,' he murmured, his thumb still tracing small circles on her arm as he sat close to her.

She took a breath before carrying on. 'And I mean, I know I'm a whore. Cristina basically called me a whore to my face so it's not like I don't know I'm a whore I mean I've slept with more guys than I can remember and my point is I know I'm a whore-'

'Woah, woah, Mer. Now you really need to slow down. You're not a whore.'

'I am, Derek.'

'No, you're not.'

'Derek.' She sighed. 'I don't want your pity. That isn't what this is about.'

'I know it's not and I'm not pitying you. You are not a whore.'

'I am. Everybody thinks so.'

'No they don't.'

'Really? Because I'm pretty sure Addison Montgomery didn't just hit me because she thought I was sweet.'

'What?' he breathed.

'I didn't know she was dating Kyle McConnel.'

'And you two hooked up.' He nodded.

'Kind of. I mean it wasn't like we slept together. And it wasn't even tonight it was…. A good few weeks ago. Like- it was before the holidays. But apparently someone told her. And there was just a lot of kissing and some touching…. Okay a lot of touching…. And then tonight when she saw me she screamed and hit me, and screamed, and pulled my hair. And before I knew it, the whole party was watching as she called me a whore and then everyone was watching and whispering as I left and everyone thinks I'm a whore, Derek. Everyone.'

'I don't.' he said quietly.

'Derek.' She sighed. 'I get that you're my best friend but you don't have to lie.'

'I'm not.' He shrugged. 'You thought he was single, you kissed. You did nothing wrong.'

'Except he wasn't single.'

'But you didn't know that. It's on him, Mer.'

'Yeah, well Addison said everyone knew I was a whore. And they were laughing and sneering.'

'They don't know you.' He whispered.

'They know what I've done.'

'What people know about you doesn't define you, Mer. I know you, and I think you're amazing.'

'Derek.' She rolled her eyes as she wiped her wet cheek.

'I do.' He shrugged. 'You're the best friend I've ever had. You're funny, you're kind, you like to eat me out of house and home, you help me when I don't understand something, you're really, really smart, and you have the most amazing giggle. You're amazing, Mer.'

'You really think so?' she looked up at him, her voice small and her eyes pooled with tears.

'I do.' He smiled.

'Thank you, Derek.'

'Nothing to thank me for.' He smiled, wiping a tear with his thumb.

'I'm really sorry for waking you up.' She whispered.

'Don't be daft.' He smiled warmly at her. 'How's your face?'

'Sore.' She sighed.

'I'll clean that cut up for you.' He said, moving to get his first aid kit out of a drawer.

'Thanks.' She said as he sat back down opposite her, dabbing her cut with damp cotton wool.

'It shouldn't sting.' He said softly. 'It just needs cleaning. Wow- what did she do this with?' he laughed gently.

'Her massive fake nails,'

'It's impressive.'

'Derek!'

'Sorry.' He laughed. 'There you go, it's clean. It doesn't need stitches or anything it should go down in a couple of days.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem.' He said, pressing a cold compress to her swollen red cheek. 'Sorry I don't have a brush for your hair.'

'That's okay.' She smiled.

'So,' he murmured, sitting back from her again. 'That's what you and Cristina fell out about.'

'Yes. No.'

'Yes, no?'

'We didn't actually fight. But yeah. That's what was…. That's what happened.'

'And that's why you haven't been going out?' he said quiet and carefully.

She nodded, taking a drink.

'When did she say it?'

'When we went to that party.'

'The one I came to?'

'Yeah.' She breathed. 'And then that guy said I was easy.'

'What guy?'

'The blonde one.'

'Oh. That guy.' He nodded.

'Yeah.' She whimpered.

'Oh Mer,' he breathed.

'Sorry.' She gasped as a tear rolled down her cheek.

'Hey, don't be sorry.' He said, moving to wrap his arms around her. 'You're upset. You can cry, Mer. Let it out.'

'I'm fine.' She nodded, wiping at her eyes again, suddenly feeling very safe in his arms.

'You're fine.' He nodded, unconvinced. 'You can stay here tonight. You can have my bed and I'll sleep on here. In the morning I'll go and get your stuff from your dorm so you can get ready.'

'No, Derek, you don't have to do that.' She shook her head but careful not to move too much, she was comfy being so close to him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

'It's fine.'

'You've done too much already.' She whispered into his shirt, gently laying her head on his chest.

'You're my best friend Mer, nothing is too much for you.'

'Thank you, Derek.' She whimpered, and she honestly didn't know what she had done to deserve a friend as good as him. He was the kindest person she had ever met and she didn't know what she would do if she hadn't of bumped into him in the library in the first week of classes.

'You're welcome.' He whispered. 'You okay?'

'Yeah. Well, I'm not okay but I'm okay.'

'I know what you mean.'

'Hmmmm.' She said, nestling into him further.

'Do you want me to make you some more cocoa to take to bed?'

'Yes please.' She smiled.

'Okay.' He said softly, kissing her lightly on the head before shifting her out of his arms and picking up her mug. 'You go and get comfy, I'll bring this in.' he smiled gently.

'Okay, thanks.' She smiled, feeling a lot colder at the sudden loss of body contact.

She opened the door to his room and noted his unmade bed which he'd obviously sprang out of to answer the door, which she hadn't noticed before. She kept his clothes on and slipped into the bed which wasn't actually as small as it looked and wrapped the covers around her. It almost felt as safe as Derek's hug. His pillow smelt like him and the bed was warm, a framed picture of him and Mark with their dad on his bedside table. Along with a neurology book and a bottle of water. She heard him walking towards the door and when she saw him with yet another cup of cocoa topped with cream and marshmallows she knew she really did have the best friend in the whole world.

'You okay?' he said gently, placing the cup on the side and sitting on the bed.

'Yeah.' She whispered.

'We'll figure out what to do, tomorrow.'

'Okay.' She breathed.

'I think it would be a good idea for you to get some sleep, miss Physics in the morning.'

'Yeah.' She yawned.

'It's going to be okay, Mer. And you're not a whore. You're amazing.'

'Thanks, Derek.' She said with a smile for what felt like the thousandth time that night. He was the best.

'Anytime.' He said, leaning to kiss her forehead gently before standing and leaving, closing the door behind him.

She sighed and reached for her cocoa. Sipping it gently. The whole night had been awful. She was pretty sure her fight with Addison would have got back to Cristina and Izzie by now. And Sarah- after she left early with Dan. She wanted to hide away with Derek forever. Just live in here in his dorm with his hot cocoa and strawberry ice cream and perfect smelling pillows and warm hugs.

And she was pretty sure he was the first person to kiss her on the forehead ever.

Her mom had never done it and no guy had ever done it. No guy had ever held her the way Derek had, and neither had her mom. His lips were so soft and it felt so natural, and she was pretty sure Derek was looking after her in a way no one else ever had.

And she couldn't remember her dad's hugs exactly- if he even gave them. She trailed her fingers along the framed picture on his bed side table, before tossing and turned in after turning out the bedside light.

She thought of him sleeping on the couch probably freezing, and probably about to be intruded by Mark bringing a girl home. And the more she thought about him being out there, the more she thought about how he wasn't in here with her. His hug had made her feel so safe, and she was pretty sure his pillow wasn't enough right now. She just wanted her bestfriend.

'Der?' she whispered meekly, stepping slightly out of his room.

'Mer?' he replied instantly. 'Are you okay?' he sat up.

'Oh. No, I'm fine. I…. erm…. It doesn't matter.' What was she doing? She was being really stupid. She couldn't ask him to sleep in his bed with her. It was stupid. And he would probably say no. Why would he want to hold her anyway?

'Mer.' He prodded, standing up. 'What is it?'

'No, Derek, really. It's stupid.'

'It's not stupid.'

'You don't even know what it is.'

'I know whatever it is isn't stupid.'

'I…' she shook her head. 'Really, Derek. It's fine. I'm sorry for disturbing you again.'

'You didn't disturb me, I wasn't sleeping.'

'Oh.' She breathed, even though she gathered from his instant reply that he hadn't been sleeping. 'I…erm… can you…. Will you…. I cant sleep.'

'You cant sleep.' He echoed gently.

'I er… was just… would you…. I don't want to be alone.'

'Oh.'

'Sorry, forget it. It was a stupid idea and I'm-'

'You don't have to be alone, Mer. I'll sleep with you if that's what you want.'

'Really?'

'Really.' He nodded.

'Okay.' She whispered. 'Thanks.'

'It's okay.' He said, following her into his room and climbing in the bed beside her, centimetres between them. Just as he was about to close his eyes she instinctively wrapped her arm around his waist and nestled her head on his chest.

'Oh.' He said, welcoming the contact, wrapping an arm around her before removing it. 'That's not a comfy way to sleep.' He whispered. 'Move onto your side.'

'Side?'

'Yeah.' He said gently, rolling her over slightly to spoon her, his arm going around her waist and she immediately grabbed his hand, as he nestled his nose in her hair, tucking his legs in hers. 'That better?'

'Perfect.' She whispered. And it really was, she didn't have much experience of sleeping with other people, especially boys, but this was good. And not much experience meant zero, and good meant amazing. 'I feel safe.'

'Safe?'

'I feel safe right now.'

'I… You're safe with me, Mer.'

'I know.' She whispered.

'Sleep.' He murmured gently, kissing her neck softly and she could have sworn her whole body somehow went fuzzy. His lips were so soft as was the kiss, and it was small and short but it was so comforting she thought her heart might swell.

She'd arrived at Derek's feeling embarrassed, hurt, a mess- and now she was sure she felt the safest she'd felt her whole life. She'd never been comforted by someone like this. Never physically comforted with a hug or a kiss to make it better. Hell, her mother didn't even comfort her with words. So to have Derek here, saying things and holding her close was so new. And so amazing. She was pretty sure he was the most amazing friend she'd ever had. The only real one. And she was also pretty sure he was the most amazing person she'd ever met. He was amazing.

He made her feel so safe and she had never felt this perfect in her life. Just lay in Derek's arms meant so much more than a screaming orgasm. And she didn't know what that meant right now. All she knew was that Derek was holding her and it was probably going to be the best night's sleep she'd ever had.

 _Thank you for reading! X_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and reviewing! I have also updated my other fic, and am hoping to update it again soon, so please give it a read if you haven't already._

Waking up next to Meredith was the best thing in the world, Derek had concluded over the last two weeks. The first time it had happened, was after her fight with Addison, he'd stirred and woken to the soft smell of lavender around him and her soft breathing. He daren't moved to wake her, but simply held her in his arms until she woke up naturally. She'd scrunched her nose in a way that made her look adorable, and had grinned when he'd suggested making her pancakes for breakfast.

The second time, had been five days ago when they'd been watching some crappy lifetime movie in his room and when he turned around she was out. Luckily she was wearing sweats anyway, so he gently lifted her under the covers and climbed in next to her after getting changed.

A similar thing had happened last night. They'd been watching something and she'd had her head on his shoulder, her body slightly cuddled into him and next thing he knew she was snoring. He pulled the covers up around them and turned out the light before pulling her into their new usual spooning position.

She felt so perfect in his arms, and while he knew they were still only friends, he couldn't help wondering what it would be like waking up to her like this everyday. Before they fell asleep he always placed a soft kiss to her neck, it wasn't much, but he couldn't help it. He knew he was only her best friend, and he would probably never be anything more, but she was so perfect and he loved being this close to her.

She hadn't been out again since the Addison incident, and she had been in his dorm every night. Her confidence had been really dented by that night, and things were still fragile with Cristina. But he could see that she was getting back to her old self, around him anyway. She was still sleeping next to him, her eyelids resting and her snoring soft. He squeezed her a little closer to him, nestling his nose in her hair and smiling when he felt her grip his hand slightly tighter than before.

It was nice to know that she trusted him to be this close to her, they had known each other for almost six months now and he was getting the impression she was letting him in more than most. He leant to press a kiss to her cheek as his bedroom door swung open.

'What the fuck?' he hissed at Mark, trying not to wake Meredith.

'Shhhh.' Mark snapped back, shutting the door behind him. 'You're gonna thank me in a minute.'

'What?'

'Mom's here.'

'What?' he gasped before realising the volume of his voice, turning to Meredith who had moved slightly in his arms.

'Her and Imogen are in there.'

'What?!'

'Surprise college visit.'

'Since when did she do those?'

'Since now. And she was all for coming in here herself to wake you. Said it's ridiculous to still be in bed at 10 am.'

'It's Saturday!'

'She also noted its very unlike you.'

'Urugh.' He groaned, pulling an arm from around Meredith and running his hand through his hair.

'You need to get your ass out there quick.'

'Derekkkkk!' came his sister's voice from the other side of the door, along with a forceful bang, rather than not.

'Oh fuck.'

'Too late.' Sighed Mark.

'Derek get up you lazy bum!'

'Can you go out there please?' said Derek.

'Fine but you know they're going to see Meredith sooner or later.'

'Just go.' He hissed, feeling Meredith begin to wake up next to him, just as Imogen shouted for him again. Mark left and somehow stopped her immediately coming into his room.

'Morning.' He smiled at her, wrapping his arm back around her.

'Morning.' She murmured, turning to face him and burying her head in his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

'I.. er… Mer, my mom's here.' He whispered into her hair, rubbing small circles on her back with his fingers.

'What?' her head snapped up, but she didn't pull away.

'I didn't know, I'm sorry. I… Mark literally just told me they're in the kitchen on a surprise visit.'

'They?'

'Imogen.'

'Oh.' She whispered.

'I'm sorry, Mer… I wasn't expecting it and I know it's awkward….'

'I don't…. I'll just stay here.'

'This isn't about hiding you, Mer. I mean, my mom already knows about you and once we assure them all we do in here is literally sleep everything will be fine.'

'I…. Derek….'

'I mean, Imogen will probably go on but-'

'Derek.' She whispered.

'What?' he breathed, looking down at her.

'Mom's don't like me.' She murmured, not meeting his eye.

'What?' he repeated.

'Moms don't like me, Derek.'

'Don't be daft Mer, of course my mom will like you. What's not to like?' he smiled.

'No, Derek.' She sighed, grasping his shirt in her hand and moving closer to him. 'Mom's don't like me.' She whispered, looking into his eyes, her own pooled with tears.

'What do you mean?' he whispered.

'Derek!' came his sisters voice again from the kitchen.

'One minute!' he yelled before turning back to Meredith and instinctively wrapping his arms tighter around her. 'Mer,' he breathed hugging her closer.

'You don't get it. My mom she….'

'She what?' he prodded gently.

'I'm not good with moms, Derek.'

'I find that hard to believe. You're good with everyone. You're you.'

'No, Derek.' She whimpered.

'Okay, okay.' He soothed. 'I don't…. I have to go out there, Mer. It's up to you if you come with me or not.'

'I… I don't…. I don't…' she trailed off.

'You don't have to if you don't want to. But I'm sure they'd love to meet you. I don't know what your mom's like, Mer. But mine…. She made you cookies, remember?'

'I know.' She whispered, wiping at her eyes. 'I know. I just… I don't know.'

'Stay here.' He murmured, kissing her forehead, and squeezing her to him. 'Stay here and after we leave just let yourself out.'

'Okay.' She whispered. 'Thank you.'

'No problem.' He said, kissing her forehead again before jumping out of bed and pulling off his pyjama bottoms and pulling on the jeans on his chair. 'Call me if you need me, okay?' he said, spraying some cologne before opening the door.

'There you are dear!' said Alison, moving to hug her son. 'Derek, dear, you need a shower.'

'Yes, mom, I know. But I wasn't exactly expecting visitors at this time.' He laughed slightly.

'It's ten in the morning Derek don't be ridiculous.'

'I was sleeping!'

'Derek.' His mom sighed before he felt his sister jump on him.

'Hey.' She said casually into his ear while being wrapped around him.

'Hey.' He laughed. 'You okay?'

'Good.' She shrugged, pulling back. 'You?'

'Good.' He smiled.

'Was expecting more of a royal welcome, but you know.'

'Of course you were.' He rolled his eyes. 'Princess Imogen.'

'This isn't a palace.' Mark laughed.

'It's nice, though boys.' Alison commented. 'A little messy, but its nice.'

'That's all his doing.' Derek groaned.

'Do you want a drink ma?' asked Mark.

'I'll have a glass of water please.' She nodded.

'No problem, Im?'

'Have you got coke?'

'Shep did you only get lemonade when you were out?'

'Yeah, sorry.'

'You okay with lemonade?' Mark turned to Imogen.

'Go on then.' she laughed.

'Sorry it's not a restaurant.' Derek joked as his mom and sister sat down with their drinks.

'Well,' began Alison. 'I think it's a lovely in here for the two of you. Do your friends live in this building too, then? Tim and…. Whats the other one called?'

'Dexter.' Nodded Derek. 'Yeah they live just down the hall.'

'What about Meredith, is her dorm in here too?'

'Oh, no. She lives about ten minutes away.'

'Ah, I see.' She nodded.

'Can we go see your room now?' said Imogen, standing up.

'What? No.' Derek said awkwardly, shaking his head.

'Why not?' his sister pouted.

'Because I said so.' He retorted.

'Derek dear, come on.' Alison sighed. 'Don't be childish.'

'I'm not.' He sighed.

'I only want to see your room.'

'And I said no.'

'I don't get it what have you got in there that we cant see?' she rolled her eyes.

'Nothing.' He sighed. 'But it's my room.'

'Yeah, and I want to see if there are any pictures of me.'

'There aren't.' he shook his head.

'Well that's just rude.' She frowned. 'Why not?'

'Im.' He sighed.

'Please, you two can you just stop.' Sighed Alison. 'Derek let your sister in your room, we haven't travelled all this way for you to be rude.'

'I'm not being rude, Ma. But it's my room.'

'You don't have a problem with me going in it at home.' Imogen shrugged.

'Yes, well, were not at home. Are we?'

'Derek stop being weird.' His sister sighed dramatically.

'I'm not.' He rolled his eyes.

'Yes you are.' She said, walking towards his door.

'Imogen!' he shouted just as she opened the door and walked in. He heard the gasps of both his sister and Meredith before Imogen immediately walked back out, a horrified look on her face. He pushed back his sister before she or his mom could say anything and went into his room, closing the door being him. Meredith was fully under the covers, not even her head poking out.

'Mer?' he asked gently, sitting on the bed.

'Mmmm.' She mumbled, her voice shaky.

'Mer, I'm sorry I didn't mean for her to come in. I tried to stop her.'

'I know. I heard.'

'Are you going to let me see you?'

'Mmmmm.' She mumbled, pulling the covers down from her face, and he could tell she was in the foetal position.

'I'm sorry.' He said, kissing her forehead.

'Not your fault.' She whispered before shutting her eyes. 'Now they hate me.'

'What?'

'Your mom. She hates me.'

'She doesn't.'

'I'm hiding in your bed, Derek.'

'That doesn't mean she hates you. She doesn't even know its you. She probably thinks it's a girl I picked up who hasn't gone home yet.'

'Instead I'm your pathetic best friend who cant sleep on her own any more who hasn't gone home yet.'

'You're having trouble sleeping?' he asked, concerned.

'I cant….' She whispered. 'I cant without you.'

'Oh Mer.'

'I don't… you should go, Derek. They're outside and they want to see you. And they want to see your room, so I should go too but that would mean facing them and-'

'Mer get up and come with me.'

'What? Are you crazy?'

'No. Come with me. We'll explain. They'll love you and then we'll go and get food or whatever it is they want to do.'

'I don't…. family Derek… the mom thing.'

'We can talk about the mom thing tonight if you want? When they've gone?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'But Mer, I promise, my mom is nice and she'll love you. But if you're uncomfortable at any point you can leave.'

'Promise?' she breathed.

'Promise.'

'Okay.' She murmured, not moving.

'Want me to give you five minutes or shall I wait here while you freshen up?'

'Wait here.' She said, grasping his hand as he helped her out of bed.

'There you go.' He said, passing her the hair brush he had bought last week in case she ended up staying over. 'It's gross, but you can use my tooth brush?'

'Yes please.' She nodded.

'Okay.'

After she'd brushed her hair back into a ponytail, splashed her face with some cold water and brushed her teeth, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

'You're my best friend, Derek.'

'You're mine too.' He breathed. 'You ready?'

'I…yeah.'

'Okay. It's nothing big, I promise. It's only me.' He smiled.

'Okay.'

'Okay.' He said, pushing the door open. 'Mom, Im, this is Mereidth.' She stood awkwardly next to him, her arms wrapped around her waist.

'Meredith?' Alison raised an eyebrow.

'Yeah, she fell asleep on my bed last night watching a movie so I didn't bother waking her.' He explained. 'You want a drink Mer?'

'Water please.' She said quietly.

'No problem.'

'Yeah right.' Scoffed Imogen. 'Fell asleep watching a movie.' She rolled her eyes.

'She did.' Derek frowned.

'Imogen that's enough.' Said Alison.

'I'm just saying.' She shrugged. 'It's pretty weak.'

'They're not sleeping together.' Sighed Mark.

'No… no, definitely…. Definitely not.' Nodded Meredith.

'They're not?' frowned Imogen to Mark, confused.

'No. Trust me. He needs to get laid but he's not getting any from Grey.'

'Mark Jeremy.' Scolded Alison.

'Sorry, Ma.'

'Hmmm.'

'Meredith loved the cookies you sent, Ma.' Smiled Derek, handing the water to Meredith before gesturing at her to sit down.

'Oh, yes. They were lovely Mrs Shepherd thank you.' She smiled nervously.

'Oh you're welcome dear. But please do call me Alison.' Alison smiled warmly at her. 'Derek tells me you have a thing for chocolate cake too?'

'Oh, yes.'

'If I'd have known you'd be joining us I would have brought one.'

'Oh… no… you didn't, you didn't have to do that.'

'I know dear. I would have wanted to though.'

'Oh.'

'So you're Derek's best friend?' questioned Imogen.

'I er…Yeah…' she nodded, looking confused.

'And you're definitely not screwing?'

'Definitely not.' She shook her head.

'She's pretty Der, why haven't you asked her out?' she turned to her brother.

'I swear to God I am going to kill you.' He groaned. 'Meredith is my friend, leave it.'

'Fine.'

'I…er….. Imogen, right?' Meredith said tentatively.

'Oh, so you do talk about us Der.' She smiled sarcastically at her brother. 'Yes, I am Imogen.' She turned back to Meredith.

'Oh she's Imogen alright.' Laughed Mark.

'Shut up.' Imogen rolled her eyes. 'You both know I'm the best one.'

'Oh, I don't know. La gives you a good run for your money.' Mark smirked.

'Shut up.' She pouted.

'So, Ma,' Derek said, turning to his mom after sitting next to Meredith. 'How long do we have the pleasure of your company?'

'Just today and tomorrow. We're staying in a lovely little hotel, aren't we Imogen? We arrived last night and so came here this morning. We were thinking we could maybe go into Boston or something with you today? Or even just Hanover?'

'Either would be great.' He smiled. 'It's really nice to see you.'

'You too, dear. I've missed you. I've missed you both.' She smiled warmly. 'And it's nice to finally meet you, Meredith. We've heard a lot about you.'

'Oh… I….'

'All good, don't worry.' Alison laughed.

'Oh… good.'

'It's okay dear, I know it was unexpected but we really don't bite.' She laughed softly.

'Oh… I… sorry.' Meredith stuttered nervously.

'Mom-'

'Derek.' His mom raised her eyebrow. 'Meredith, we just want to get to know you if you're Derek's friend. It makes you our family. Take Mark as a shining example.'

'Mark?' Meredith said, confused.

'Taken in by the wolf pack.' He laughed.

'Wait… you're not…'

'His brother? Well, not technically.' Mark laughed.

'Oh. Derek… you never… you never said.'

'Sorry, I forget sometimes.' He laughed slightly.

'So you…..' she trailed off.

'I was Derek's best friend, my family were shit, his became mine. Long story short.'

'Oh.' She breathed.

'So, I believe you're doing premed too, Meredith?' Alison continued.

'Oh, yeah, I am.'

'What programme do you think you want to go into?'

'Surgery.' She nodded. 'Surgery.'

'Ah, just like the boys.' Addison nodded.

'Yeah.' She smiled.

'Any idea what kind of surgeon or am I just jumping the gun because these two have their futures mapped out?' she laughed.

'Oh, well… I'm not sure on anything yet but at the minute I'm thinking neuro.'

'Oh, the same as Derek.' She beamed.

'Oh, yeah. We do biology together.'

'I hope you give these men a run for their money.' She winked at her.

'Oh, well I can try.' She smiled, and Derek noticed the tension in her body decrease considerably.

'Derek says you're from Seattle.'

'Oh, yeah.' She nodded.

'Of course she's from Seattle she's Ellis Grey's daughter.' Imogen laughed, not looking up from her mobile phone. 'Lara literally freaked out when you told her.'

'Oh…' Meredith said, her eyes not meeting Derek's.

'It must be quite the pressure, having a mother so successful in the career you're interested in.' Alison nodded.

'Oh… that's…. one way of putting it.' Meredith mumbled.

'She must be very proud of you.'

'Oh…. I… yeah…. Yeah.'

Derek watched as Meredith awkwardly played with her wrists and noted that the mom talk was definitely needed tonight no matter how much she tried to get out of it. There was….. something. Something more to this than he could gather. The whole not going home at Thanksgiving thing, the not spending time together at Christmas thing, the whole freak out this morning.

'You'll be joining us for the day wont you dear?'

'Oh… I…' she stuttered, looking at him desperately.

'It's up to you, Mer.' He said gently. 'You're more than welcome, but don't worry if you're busy.'

'Oh.. I erm… if that's okay… I guess….' She trailed off.

'Of course darling.' Smiled Alison. 'I would love to get to know you.'

'Mom they're not getting married.' Imogen rolled her eyes.

'No, but she's Derek's friend.' Alison frowned. 'Now, shall we head out? It's a lovely day outside.'

'Yeah, just let me get my shoes.' Said Derek standing up.

'Yeah me too.' Said Meredith following him into his room.

'Hey, you don't have to come, you know.' Derek said, sat on his bed once his door was closed.

'What?' she said looking up from the floor where her shoes were. 'Do you not want me to come or something?'

'No, no. God no.' he said seeing the panic in her eyes. 'I'd love for you to come. But I'm just saying, you don't have to. If you don't want to.'

'I…. I wouldn't go as far as want to.' She said quietly, sitting on the bed next to him, putting her left shoe on. 'I think… I think I want to.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah. Yeah.' She nodded. 'I mean… families aren't my strong point but your mom made me cookies. And shes nice. And she made me cookies.'

'Okay.' He smiled warmly at her. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Meredith.' He whispered. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' She nodded before meeting his eye. 'No.' she whispered. 'Yeah. I'm…. freaking out slightly…. But I'm fine. I'm okay.'

'You're okay.'

'I'm okay.' She smiled.

'Good.'

They spent the day with his mom, Imogen and Mark. They showed them around campus before walking into Hanover, stopping to get lunch at a café. Meredith had originally said she was ordering salad like Derek and Imogen, until the waitress came over and he ordered her a pizza. She had turned to him with her mouth open in mortification, to which he had simply smirked at her. She ate it all.

They carried on walking through the town, Alison had taken pictures of them all together. They had visited the Hood Museum of Art, which Derek, Meredith and Mark had hated, but Imogen loved and Alison found interesting. They had had a nice day. It had been relatively sunny, and he had seen Meredith and his mom talking while he had been walking around the gallery with Imogen.

Imogen was apparently not seeing the guy she was in the car with, but he didn't really know what to believe. She was also undecided on college, and was missing Olivia. Which he did too. He missed all of his sisters actually. And after her initial annoyingess with Meredith, he had a really nice day with her. She was funny. He'd almost forgotten how funny. And it seemed like she was feeling lonely at home now he, Liv and Mark had all gone to college along with Lara and Claire, leaving her alone with Alison. She had been fifteen when their dad had died, and he couldn't imagine what that was like. Well, he was twenty, but at least he knew what he wanted to do with his life. At least he knew who he was, or at least who he thought he was. Imogen, she still had no idea what she was doing and she only had his mom to talk about it to. Not that his mom wasn't amazing because she was. But she was still grieving her husband of 30 years.

They had laughed a lot on the walk back to Dartmouth, and it had started to rain slightly. Meredith was only in the sweats she had worn and fell asleep in last night. So he shrugged his coat off and wrapped it around her before smiling at her gently. Which didn't go unnoticed by his mom.

Once they were home, Derek made them some pasta with chicken, and Alison and Imogen went home not long after.

'I should go home now too.' Meredith giggled. 'Shower.'

'Yeah, you do smell a bit.' He smirked.

'I do not.' She gasped.

'Whatever.' He laughed.

'Do I really smell?' she said seriously.

'No.'

'You're so annoying.'

'I know.' He grinned.

'Anyway, as I was saying. I should go.'

'I'll come with you.' He said. 'We could watch a movie after you shower?'

'That would be nice.' She smiled.

'It sounds good. Shall I follow you over in about fifteen minutes? I'll bring ice cream? And cookies?'

'That would be even better.' She laughed.

'Okay.' He smiled.

He called at the store on the way to Meredith's building and got her a pint of strawberry ice cream along with some chocolate chip cookies, and some chips and dip. It was fully raining now so he ran to her dorm as fast as he could. He made his way to her room, and smiled when who he assumed was Dan answered the door.

'Hi.'

'Hi.'

'I'm… er Derek, I'm here to see Meredith.'

'Oh, hey. I'm Dan.'

'Hey.' He said, stepping inside as Dan re-joined Sarah on the couch. 'Is Mer in her room?'

'Yeah.' Sarah smiled.

'Thanks.' He smiled, realising their small talk was apparently over, and made his way to Mer's room.

'Oh! Derek!' she gasped as he opened the door on her in only her panties, a towel wrapped around her head.

'Oh! Sorry!' he said, turning around. 'Let… Let me know when I can come in. Sorry….'

'It's okay. Just… just stay there.'

'Staying here.'

'Stay there a bit longer.'

'Staying here.' He nodded.

'Okay. You can come in now.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yep.'

'Hey.' He smiled, blushing slightly as he entered her room to see her sat on her bed in sweat pants and her Grey Dartmouth t-shirt, her hair still in a towel.

'Hey.' She laughed.

'Sorry about that.'

'It's okay.'

'I brought snacks.' He said, holding up his bag.

'This is why I keep you around.' She giggled.

They stuck on a lifetime movie and he joined her on the bed. She had eaten half the ice cream in the first fifteen minutes of whatever film it was they were watching. He was slowly eating a cookie which was nice, but not as nice as his moms.

He'd spent all day with Meredith, and the night before and yet here he was still wanting to spend time with her. He didn't think there was such a thing as spending too much time with Meredith. It felt so natural being with her. And he knew he had to talk to her about the mom thing. She'd seemed to have a good day and she'd even talked to his mom. So it would be right to bring up the mom thing now, right? Right.

'So, did you have a good day?'

'Yeah.' She smiled. 'I did.'

'Better than you thought?'

'Yeah.' She smiled.

'I… You… I'm not going to ask if you want to talk about.' He shook his head. 'I'm just going to talk to you about it because you're you. And you're my best friend and you can trust me. You can trust me, okay?'

'O-kay….'

'It's just…. The mom thing.'

'What?' she almost choked on her ice cream.

'The mom thing. Mer, I know your moms like the most famous surgeon ever and I know she works a lot and I know you have…. A thing about her or whatever. So tell me. About the thing.'

'I don't… Derek I don't talk about my mom.' She shook her head.

'Exactly.'

'Exactly?'

'Exactly. You don't talk about it, and I think you should. Even if it's just to me. You need to get it off your chest. Maybe I can help?'

'Derek.' She shook her head.

'Meredith.' He said, leaning his head close to hers. 'Please.'

She turned to find him a lot closer to her than she expected, her breath almost hitched in her throat. His eyes were so soft, his face was so gentle and she knew if she could trust anyone it was Derek. Derek who held her when she not so accidentally fell asleep in his bed, Derek who made her dinner every night, and brought her strawberry ice cream when she needed it, Derek who always congratulated her on her papers, who knew she hated salad.

'I… I don't…' she breathed, looking into his sincere eyes. 'Your mom's amazing.'

'She is.' He nodded.

'Mine's…. not.' She whispered, looking down again.

'Mer,'

'She… your mom. She said my mom would be proud of me, you know, doing pre med?'

'I remember.'

'She… she's not.'

'What?'

'She'd not proud of me.'

'Mer,' he whispered.

'She…I'm ordinary.'

'What?'

'I'm ordinary, Derek. And I don't have what it takes.' She whimpered, not looking back at him.

'Mer, you're far from ordinary.'

'No, Derek. I'm ordinary. To my mom, I'm ordinary. And I'm not worth being proud of or whatever.'

'Mer, of course you are.'

'I'm not, Derek!' she snapped, turning to him. 'Sorry.' She whispered.

'It's okay. You're not ordinary, Mer.'

'I am.'

'No, you're not.' He said, moving to wipe a tear from down her cheek.

'I am.'

'Meredith. Do you remember the other week when you came home from the party? And I told you all the reasons why you are my best friend?'

'Hmmm.' She nodded, hiccupping slightly.

'They're all examples of why you're not ordinary.' He smiled, moving a hand gently to cup her jaw. 'You're funny, you're kind, you're really, really, smart Mer. You're anything but ordinary.'

'Derek.'

'You are. And your mom's an ass if she cant see that.'

'Derek.'

'I'm serious, Mer. You're amazing, okay? I think you're extraordinary. And I'm proud of you. Really proud of you.'

'Thanks.' She whimpered. 'Can you… will you… stay… tonight?'

'Of course Mer.' He said, pulling her into his arms and leaning them both against the headboard, her face burring in his chest as he ran a hand gently over her hair.

'You know she cheated on my dad.'

'She did?'

'That's why he left. When I was five. She cheated on him with another surgeon.'

'Oh, Mer.'

'You know she once told me she wished she'd never had a child.'

'What?' he whispered in disbelief.

'The guy she cheated on my dad with left her anyway. But she said he wouldn't have if she didn't have a daughter. She wishes she'd never had one.'

'She said that?'

'Uh-huh.'

'Oh Mer.'

'I just…. She doesn't want me and she never wanted me and neither did my dad. No one wants me.'

'I want you.' He whispered, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her tightly.

'Thank you.'

'You don't have to thank me, I didn't do anything…. I just… do.'

'I think you're the first person to ever want me.'

'I wont be the last.'

'Derek.' She whispered, squeezing him. 'I don't…. thank you. Thank you.'

'I-'

'Not for saying it.' She shook her head, pulling back from his chest. 'Thank you, for being such a good friend.'

'Oh.'

'I… you're amazing, Derek.'

'I'm not.' He breathed.

'You are.' She whispered.

'I… I.. you're my best friend, Mer.'

'You're mine too.'

'Come here.' He said, pulling her back down to hug her. She curled into him and he felt her breathing even out and her body relax. He went back to running his fingers through her hair with his left hand.

'Derek…' she eventually whispered.

'Yeah?'

'Promise… I'm dark and twisty. And there's more dark and twisty than what I just told you. But… my point is I'm dark and twisty and-'

'Mer,' he prodded.

'Promise you wont leave?'

'What?'

'You wont… people leave and you're my best friend. You cant leave.'

'Oh. No. I wont leave. Ever. You'll always be my best friend.'

'Always?'

'Always, Mer.'

'Good.' She whispered as he squeezed her to him.

 _Thank you for reading and please review! X_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for reading. Here is another update for you, please let me know what you think! (Please please pleaseeeeee- it gives me motivation to write this instead of doing my assignments, which should be more important, lol.)_

Meredith couldn't stop smiling. She could not stop smiling. She had gotten an A on her chemistry paper and an A on her physics exam and she could not stop smiling. She stuffed her paper in her bag and opened the door to the coffee shop. Derek had gotten his chemistry paper back the day before and he had gotten an A too, she was so anxious she wouldn't do as well, he had studied really hard for it. And while he had gotten one more mark than her she was still really happy. Derek was the top of his chemistry class and now she was at the top of hers. She wasn't the top of her physics but she was in the top five, Derek was better at physics than her. But it didn't really matter because they were both good at biology and that was the only mid term grade they were still waiting for. She was pretty sure if they could get As in chemistry and physics they could get As in bio. They were good at bio. It was their thing. It was their thing and she couldn't wait to tell him about her grades.

Rolled up jeans. She was behind a guy in rolled up jeans in the line. And the line was really long. Derek wore his jeans rolled up. His normal outfit was rolled up jeans a button down and sometimes a sweater vest or a fleece. He had a Bowdoin shirt he sometimes wore with sweats in his dorm. But normally he wore a button down and he must be the only guy on campus to only own one hoodie.

She moved a couple of places up the line and could see the specials board. She was going to order a pepperoni pizza to take out for herself, obviously, but she didn't know what to get Derek. She scanned the board until she came across a goats cheese, sundried tomato and spinach sub sandwich. He liked all of those things so she was assuming he would like it even if it wasn't a salad. She also noted they did coffee ice cream milkshakes. Derek would probably kill her for ordering him it, but she figured good grades required celebrating. And junk food was the best king of celebrating.

Meeting Derek's mom and sister hadn't been at all as scary as she thought. His mom was super nice and while she was a little intimidated by his sister, she had hugged her goodbye before they left on Sunday and said it had been nice to meet her. So she figured that was good, right?

She had tried to listen to her conversations with Derek seeing as she hadn't really spoken to Meredith much directly. She seemed very strong minded and funny, and she seemed like she had missed Derek a whole lot. She had been living alone with their mom and while Alison was amazing, she kinda figured it must be hard from having five siblings and a dad around to suddenly just your mom. But she thinked she liked Imogen, which was good.

Alison was really nice too. She was the complete opposite of Ellis, and Meredith thought she would have no idea what to say to her. But it was actually a lot easier than she imagined, and when she thought about it- how could they not be nice if they were related to Derek?

He didn't talk about it much but she knew he and Mark worried about their mom, after just losing their dad. And she didn't know the whole story as to what happened but she knew it had only been a year or so since he passed and Derek had taken the year out to look after his family. She wondered if maybe that's why Derek didn't go out. He was so used to being sensible and reliable in case anything happened.

Not that she was interested in going out that much any more, she hadn't been out since the night with Addison and she could honestly say she didn't miss it. Well, she hadn't been to any parties or properly out clubbing. She'd been for a drink with Cristina one night and she had been for a couple with her and Izzie for Izzie's birthday, but she had been home by ten and was nowhere near drunk. Right now she much preferred just hanging out with Derek either watching a movie or just talking until they fell asleep.

Because apparently they had sleep overs now. All the time. She fell asleep in his bed ninety percent of nights she went over and he had started staying at her place with her too sometimes. It was just nice to have him there when she fell asleep and for him to still be there when she woke up. He always made her breakfast or bought her some if they had no food in. She was beginning to wonder what she was going to do in summer when they weren't at college for three months and he was going to be over an hours flight away.

'Yes m'am what can I get you today?'

'Oh, hi.' She snapped out of her trance. 'Can I please order to take out?'

'Of course, what can I get for you?'

'A large pepperoni pizza and the goats cheese spinach sub thing.'

'No problem, anything else?'

'Can I have a coffee ice cream milkshake and a strawberry ice cream milk shake please?'

'Yep, you're number twenty one I'll you when it's ready.'

'Thank you.' She said, handing her cash over before walking over to the waiting area.

Their food was only five minutes but she severely underestimated how awkward it would be to carry. She had a large pizza box, a sub bag and a cup holder for their milkshakes and her bag thrown over her shoulder. The walk to Derek's seemed a lot longer than normal and she was relieved as she reached his door. Until she realised she had no hands to knock with. She balanced the pizza box flat while she lowered the milkshakes to the floor and knocked on Derek's door.

'Hey.' She smiled as Mark answered the door.

'Grey.' He nodded. 'How nice of you to bring me dinner.'

'Shut up.' She rolled her eyes handing him the pizza box before picking up the milkshakes and making her way inside.

'Nice.' Said Mark opening the pizza box on the table.

'That is not for you.' She shook her head. 'Where's Derek?'

'In his room. On the phone to a chick.'

'What?' her head whipped up.

'Rose, he not tell you about her?'

'Oh… no.' she said quietly.

'She gave him her number last week but he was being a pussy and didn't call.'

'And now he's calling her…..' she trailed off.

'He saw her in class today and apparently she was checking him out the whole time.'

'Oh.'

'So I made him call, I mean whats he got to lose?'

'Nothing.' She shook her head awkwardly. Why did she feel awkward?

'Exactly. So if he tries to let you talk him out of it, back me up. He needs to get laid man.'

'Right.'

'Like, I don't know what he's told you but he hasn't been laid in a long time. A long time.'

'Since Chloe?'

'Yeah.' Said Mark, turning to her in surprise. 'Since Chloe.'

'I think…'

'What?'

'I… er, I think I should go.'

'Go? Why?'

'Well, Rose.' She shrugged.

'Mer, this is Shep we're talking about. It took him over a week to call her. He isn't going to arrange to see her tonight.'

'Right.'

'He should be off soon, unless they really hit it off. She is so into him.'

'She is?'

'Yup. Gave him her number when we were in the library getting the new bio2 books out and she was talking to him about all sorts of crap. And she was seriously flirting, not that he noticed.'

'He didn't?'

'He's Shep.' He shrugged.

'What does that mean?'

'He's crap with girls.'

'Oh.'

'So, how come you came bearing all these gifts?'

'Oh, it's nothing.' She shrugged. 'I just figured, Derek cooks all the time. My treat.'

'Sweet. Do you want a beer?'

'Oh, yes please. I got milkshakes but I'll wait for Derek to try it.'

'Milkshakes?'

'They started doing them at the coffee shop, I thought we could try them.'

'You're going to get Derek to drink a cup of sugar?'

'It's coffee ice cream flavour.'

'Then you may just have a shot.' Mark laughed as Derek came out of his room.

'Mer?' he smiled.

'Hey.'

'Why do I smell pizza?'

'Because I got one.' She giggled as he walked over to her and took a sip of the beer in her hand. 'Hey!'

'You did?' he grinned.

'Yep. And I got you food too. But now you're stealing my drink.' She pouted.

'You got me food?'

'I did.' She said, handing him the sandwich bag proudly.

'What is on this?'

'Some sort of cheese, spinach and tomatoes.'

'Wow.' He smiled.

'Did I choose well?'

'Perfect. I love goats cheese.'

'I figured you would.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I don't know its just Dereky.'

'Dereky?'

'Yeah. Very you.'

'Very me.'

'Yes. And they started doing milkshakes.'

'They did?' he said, looking at their drinks on the table.

'Yep. So I got you a coffee ice cream one.'

'Wow. You're going all out tonight.' He laughed.

'I am.' She grinned. 'I thought we could watch a movie or start a new show or something?'

'A new show would be fun.' He smiled, picking the drinks up. 'You okay to carry the pizza?'

'Yeah.' She grinned, following him into his room. 'Thanks for the beer Mark.'

'Anytime.'

She slumped her bag on the floor and kicked off her shoes before joining Derek on his bed.

'So what's all this in aid of?' he grinned at her.

'I got an A on my chem paper.' She grinned. 'And my physics exam.'

'you did?!'

'I did.' She smiled proudly.

'This means bio is looking good for us.' He smiled.

'That's exactly what I thought!'

'Well done, I'm really proud of you Mer.'

'Thanks.' She smiled.

'Our studying paid off.'

'It did.' She nodded. 'We make a good team.'

'We do.' He smiled at her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear gently.

'Mark says you were on the phone to a girl.' She murmured quietly and his head ducked down immediately.

'Oh…. Yeah.' He cleared his throat.

'Rose?'

'Yeah.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' she said, as he stared at his sandwich.

'I had no intention of calling her.' He shrugged.

'And…. Now you have?' she said, taking a sip of her beer.

'Mark made me. It's no big deal.'

'Are you going to see her?'

'I asked her out tomorrow night.'

'Tomorrow?'

'Yeah. I don't have high hopes though.'

'Why not?'

'I don't know.' He shrugged.

There was some sort of pain in her chest at the thought of Derek going out tomorrow night with a girl, when he should be in her room watching something with her. It never really occurred to her about Derek having plans and leaving her alone. He never really did anything at night without her so she always assumed he was free to hang out with.

But then again, maybe the fact he didn't really go out was all the more reason why he should go out with this girl. Rose. Stupid name. He should go out and have a good time.

'You never know.' She sighed. 'It might be fun.' She tried her best to smile.

'Yeah.' He turned to her.

'You'll have to let me know how it goes.' She said biting into her pizza.

'Do you want to come over afterward?'

'What?'

'I'm meeting her at seven and it shouldn't be more than a couple hours,'

'Oh. Sure. Call me and let me know.'

'I will.' He grinned.

'Good.'

'What do you want to watch?'

'I don't mind.'

'Shall I just flick through the channels?'

'Yeah. I'll tell you when to stop.' She nodded, their usual system.

'Okay.' He said, biting into his sandwich and picking up the remote.

 _Thank you for reading- please review! X_


	14. Chapter 14

_Thank you for reading and please review._

Derek was seeing Rose. They'd been for a drink last week and now they were having lunch and apparently that meant they were seeing each other. She was nice. She was sweet and she was funny and she was sat eating a Caesar salad identical to his at the Deli on campus. She was drinking a diet cola and talking about her mom.

Last week after their drink he had smiled goodbye to her and she had walked to her dorm, and he had walked to Meredith's. He stopped off at the store on his way and got her some strawberry ice cream and headed up to her door. She had opened it, surprised to see him there with no warning. She got some chips out of the cupboard and they lay on her bed watching a new cop show they had started a few days before. They had laughed at how unrealistic it was and she had giggled so much. After five episodes she had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. He had reached for the remote and switched off her TV before pulling the covers up around them and turning off her bedside light. He wrapped his arm around her, placed a soft kiss to her neck and fell asleep himself to the soft sound of her snoring. Her hair smelled so good.

'Brain boy.' He heard, snapping out of his trance, Rose turning her head with him to see Cristina walking towards them.

'Hi.' He said.

'Where's Mer?'

'Erm, physics I think?'

'What's been going on with her lately?'

'What?'

'What's been going on with her?' Cristina repeated, not acknowledging Rose's presence.

'What do you mean?'

'She's been all weird.'

'Weird?'

'Yeah. She's not been coming out, being quiet in chem-'

'quiet?'

'Yeah. Hardly talks to me.'

'Oh.'

'So, are you going to tell me what's going on?'

'I don't… you… you should talk to her.'

'what?'

'Meredith. You should talk to her.'

'Talk? We don't talk.'

'Well, maybe you should.'

'D… whatever your name is brain boy, just tell me.'

'It's Derek.' He smiled. 'And I could easily tell you but I don't think I should.'

'You're so annoying.'

'…. Thanks? I think….' He laughed.

'So you think I should talk to her?'

'I do.'

'And you think she'll tell me why she's being weird.'

'She's not being weird.'

'Oh, okay.' Cristina scoffed. 'Because Meredith being sober ninety nine percent of the time and not talking to anyone but you totally isn't weird.'

'Just talk to her.' He laughed.

'Well you are zero help. I don't know why Mer likes you.'

'Thanks.' He smiled sarcastically. 'It was nice talking to you too.'

'Whatever.' Said Cristina turning around.

'Talk to her!' he yelled after her and she pulled a face over her shoulder.

'Who…..who was that?' said Rose awkwardly.

'Oh. That was a friend…. Of a friend.'

'She seems…. Mean.'

'She is.' He laughed. 'I don't know her very well.'

'she pre-med too?'

'Yeah. She takes my friends chemistry. Apparently she's really smart.'

'What's she called?'

'Cristina Yang.'

'Even her name doesn't sound friendly.' Rose laughed.

'That I can agree with.'

'Is your friend mean too? To be friends with her, I mean.'

'Mer? Oh, oh, no. Mer's not mean at all. I don't actually get how they're friends.' He shook his head laughing slightly.

'That's good.' She giggled.

'Did you think I would be friends with mean people?' he asked, raising an eyebrow.

'You're friends with Mark Sloan aren't you?'

'Marks not mean.' Derek shook his head. 'A whore but not mean.'

'He can be mean to girls.' She frowned.

'He can?'

'He can.' She nodded.

'He…. He's good though. I know most girls probably don't think so. But he is. You can ask any of our sisters.' He laughed. 'They'll tell you the same. He's an ass, but he's a good ass.'

'Your sisters?' she said confused.

'Yeah, you know. Like brothers but girls.' He joked.

'No, I mean _your_ sisters. Yours and Mark's collectively.'

'Oh. Yeah. He's more like a brother. Lived with us since he was twelve.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'And he followed you to college?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Yeah… it's kind of, complicated.' Hr breathed.

'Oh?'

'I'd rather…. Not talk about it.' He shrugged. 'But Mark's okay. Trust me.'

'Okay.' She nodded.

'So, what about you? Your friends?'

'Oh. Well, my room mates nice. Demi, she's called.'

'Demi.' He nodded. 'Pre-med?'

'Yep.'

'I feel like when you do pre-med you only know other pre-meds.' He laughed.

'I don't actually know anyone doing pre-med who's room mate isn't doing pre-med too.'

'I do.' He smiled. 'Meredith's room mate does literature, I think. And Tim lives with Dexter who's majoring in art.'

'Art?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'I wish I was creative like that.'

'Are any of your sisters creative?'

'Oh. Erm, the youngest, Imogen. But not artistically. She writes.'

'That sounds cool.'

'She's really good.'

'So if she's the youngest, how many are there?'

'Oh, four.' He laughed nervously.'

'Wow, that's a lot.'

'I know. What about you. Any siblings?'

'A sister. Younger, she's still in middle school.'

'Called?'

'Ruby.'

'That's a nice name.' he nodded, spying Meredith out of the corner of his eye buying something at the counter. 'Mer!' he called. She didn't turn around, her hair was in a loose ponytail and her bag was slung over her shoulder. 'Mer!' he called again a little louder, and she turned around. He motioned for her to come over, before smiling to Rose. Meredith gave her money to the guy behind the counter before making her way over with what looked like a takeout coffee.

'Hey.' He grinned as she approached.

'Hey.' She said, awkwardly. Turning to smile tentatively at Rose.

'Cristina was here before, she's looking for you.'

'She is?'

'Yeah. You just had physics?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'How was it?'

'Boring.' She sighed.

'What you doing tonight?'

'Oh, nothing. I was gonna ask,' she said, glancing at Rose. 'Movie? If you're free?'

'Movie sounds good.' He nodded. 'Mine or yours?'

'Yours?'

'Great.'

'I'll bring snacks.'

'Seven?'

'Seven.' She smiled.

'Rose,' he cleared his throat, taring his eyes away from his best friend. 'This, is Meredith. Meredith, this is Rose.'

'Hi.' Meredith said awkwardly.

'Hi.' Rose smiled.

'She's Cristina's friend.' He explained.

'I gathered.' Rose smiled.

'You should talk to her, you know.'

'Derek.' She groaned.

'Mer.' He tilted his head. 'Please. For Me?'

'For you?' she cocked an eyebrow.

'Yes.'

'And how is me talking to Cristina in any way beneficial to you?'

'Because then she wont keep harassing me.'

'Harassing you?'

'Yes.'

'She spoke to you once.' Meredith laughed.

'Mean. She was mean.'

'She's always mean.' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'Exactly. She'd be less mean if you talked to her.'

'Fine. ' she sighed. 'I'll talk to her.'

'Thank you.' He smiled.

'Anyway,' she began. 'I'll let you guys get back to this.' She glanced at Rose. 'Bye.'

'Bye, it was nice to meet you.' Rose smiled.

'Bye.' Meredith said again, walking away.

'Seven!' Derek called after her, and she turned around with a grin.

'Okay so you didn't tell me your friend was Meredith Grey.'

'What?'

'Meredith Grey. Ellis Grey's daughter.'

'Oh. Right, yeah.'

'That's got to be so cool.'

'Not really.'

'Does she talk about her mom much?'

'Not really.'

'Is she like super smart? Imagine having that royal surgical blood in your veins. Is she going to do surgery? After medschool?'

'I think so. And she is super smart.' He nodded. 'But not because of her mom.'

'Everyone talks about her.'

'What?'

'Meredith.' Rose nodded, biting into a forkful of salad.

'Meredith?'

'Yeah. I mean Ellis Grey's daughter, her fight with Addison-'

'Addison?'

'Yeah they had this huge fight at the-'

'Yeah, yeah, I know.' Derek nodded. 'People are still talking about that?'

'Yeah.' She shrugged. 'Except no-ones seen her out recently.'

'I see.' He nodded.

 _Thank you for reading! X_


	15. Chapter 15

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for the kind reviews, I love knowing what you think. Thank you so much for reading and I know you're all waiting very patiently for them to become more than friends, sooooooo lets get going because every chapter is a step closer!_

Derek's eyes looked really blue. I mean, they were always blue. Obviously. But today they looked really blue and the navy t-shirt he was wearing really brought them out. His brows were furrowed in concentration as he looked at his calculator, his hand holding a yellow pencil. She should also be looking at her calculator, but she could not stop looking at him. She could not stop looking at Derek and she didn't know why.

He'd been on four dates with Rose now, four. And apparently he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, that's what Dexter had told her anyway. Derek was going to ask Rose to be his girlfriend. She'd only met her the once in the deli, but she'd seen Derek pretty much straight after every one of their dates. He seemed happy. He said she was nice. And she was smart. She was doing premed like them but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go into a surgical program after med school or not. She had a younger sister and was from Seattle, like her. She had a mom and a dad. She was normal, basically.

'I don't know.' He finally sighed, putting the calculator down and staring at the work sheet in front of him. 'What did you get?' he looked up at her. With his blue eyes.

'Oh.' She said, looking back to her own worksheet which she was supposed to be working on with him. 'I don't know either.'

'I tried dividing it by the previous total but that just equates to 500 which just makes no sense.'

'Right.' She nodded. 'Maybe we got the previous total wrong?'

'But that means we could have gotten anything wrong. Which basically means we need to start again.' He sighed, leaning back in his chair, and running his hand through his hair.

'Why is this impossible?'

'Because it's finals.'

'But it's not. It's the practice for finals.'

'Urugh, don't remind me.'

'Study break?' she grinned.

'Study break.' He nodded.

'Coffee?'

'Coffee.' He nodded, reaching for his wallet in his pocket.

'No, it's okay.' She smiled. 'I'll get them.'

'No, Mer it's fine. My treat.'

'Everything's your treat, Der.' She giggled. 'Let me get them.'

'Mer.' He tilted his head to the side.

'Derek.' She did the same. 'I'm getting the freaking coffees. Do you want a snack?'

'No, I'm good thanks.'

'Kay.' She said, standing up, and reaching for her own money.

'Thanks.'

'No problem.' She smiled, getting in line.

She wanted to ask him to watch a movie tonight, but at the same time she daren't ask in case he said he was busy. He wasn't even properly going out with Rose yet and things already felt different. Things felt different in a way that she wasn't the only one he made plans with anymore. And she was no longer only sharing him with Mark, Tim and Dexter. He had Rose. Who he made plans with. Plans that weren't predictable and plans she didn't know about. She didn't know when he was free anymore and she didn't want to ask him to hang out in case he was hanging out with Rose.

She reached the front of the queue and ordered Derek his Americano and herself her frozen caramel mocha. She collected them and took them back to their table where Derek was sat on his cell phone.

'Hey.' She said, putting his coffee in front of him.

'Hey.' He grinned back, looking up from his phone. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' She said, taking out her chair and sitting back opposite him.

'So, what you doing tonight?'

'Oh. Nothing.' She smiled.

'Want to watch a movie?'

'Sure.' She said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.

'Great.' He smiled. 'Anything in particular you fancy?'

'We haven't watched Harry Potter in a while.'

'You're very right.' He nodded. 'Any in particular, or you thinking just straight from the beginning again?'

'Hmmmm, beginning?'

'Beginning sounds good.'

'Shall I bring popcorn?'

'Sure. I still have strawberry ice cream in my freezer.'

'You do?' she smiled.

'You fell asleep on Sunday when you were only half way through. The rest of the tub is in the freezer.'

'Ohhhhh.' She laughed.

'To be honest I think it's the first time you've ever left any in the tub.' He smirked.

'Shut up.' She gasped.

'You eat way too much of that stuff.'

'Shut up, Derek.' She laughed.

'I don't understand how you don't gain any weight. Every time you come over I buy you another pint tub which you finish.'

'Whatever.' She laughed.

'Let me guess- you want me to cook you dinner tonight too?'

'Well if it's that inconvenient.' She pouted.

'Maybe it is.' He smirked again.

'Fine.'

'Fine.'

'Hey,' came a female voice, making Meredith and Derek break their stare.

'Oh, hey.' Smiled Derek.

'Hey.' Grinned Rose, holding a coffee in a take out cup in her hand. 'What you doing?'

'Studying.' He sighed.

'Oh.'

'Yeah, the physics test on Tuesday.'

'Oh, I was going to ask you if you wanted to study together for that?' she smiled at him hopefully.

'Oh,' he said, looking at Meredith quickly. 'I was studying with Mer.'

'Oh.'

She felt awkward. She felt really, really, awkward.

'Well maybe tomorrow?' said Rose. 'We have physics two till four, do you want to study after and maybe catch dinner or a movie or something?'

'Oh, yeah.' He said, looking at Meredith again. 'Sure. That would be really nice.'

'Okay.' She smiled. 'What you doing tonight?'

'Oh, Me and Mer were gonna study some more and then watch a movie.'

'Oh,' she smiled at Meredith. 'Anything good?'

'Harry Potter.' Meredith smiled, and Meredith had a feeling she was waiting for her invitation.

'I didn't have you down as a Harry Potter kind of guy.' Rose laughed, turning back to Derek.

'I'm a man of many surprises.' He smiled.

'Whatever.'

'What are you doing tonight?'

'Oh, nothing.' Again, waiting for her invitation.

'A quiet one.' He nodded.

'I guess.' She sighed. 'I have bio, I better go.'

'Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow.' He smiled, and she leant down to kiss him quickly. Meredith looked away.

'See you later.' She smiled back. 'Bye Meredith.'

'Bye.' She smiled awkwardly, looking back down at her worksheet when Rose walked away. 'So, Dex said you're going to ask her to be your girlfriend.'

'Oh.'

'You never said.' She said, taking a sip of her drink.

'Well, I was going to ask you.'

'Me?' she looked up quickly, her heart racing in her chest.

'Yeah, you. What you thought of me asking Rose to be my girlfriend, I mean, you're my best friend.'

'Right.' She nodded.

'So?'

'So?'

'What do you think?'

'What do I think?'

'About me, and Rose.' He laughed.

'Oh, right.' She nodded. 'She seems nice.'

'You like her?'

'I don't really know her.' She shrugged. 'I've only met her briefly twice. But she seems nice.'

'Hmmmm.'

'Does she make you happy?'

'I think so.' He nodded.

'And is the sex good?'

'What?'

'Is the sex good?'

'Oh, we haven't….' he trailed off.'

'Oh. Right.' She nodded. 'I'm crap at dating Derek. I'm really not the best person to ask.'

'I wasn't asking because you're good at dating. I know you don't believe in love.' He sighed. 'I'm asking you because you're my best friend.'

'If she makes you happy.' She shrugged.

'So you think I should?'

'If she makes you happy, then yes.' She nodded.

'Okay.' He sighed.

'So are you going to ask her?'

'I think so.' He nodded. 'She's nice. You'd like her.'

'I hope so.' She smiled.

'I know… I know she's a girl. But you're still my best friend, Mer.'

'I know.' She smiled. 'You're mine too.'

'Forever.'

'Forever.' She laughed.

'Mom called last night.'

'She did?'

'Uh-huh. She was asking about you.'

'She was?'

'She was. Asking if you wanted some more cookies?'

'More cookies?' she laughed.

'uh-huh.'

'They are great cookies.'

'They are.' He nodded.

'Is she coming over again?'

'Oh, no. I'm going home next weekend. She wanted to know whether to send any back with me for you or not.'

'You're going home?' she breathed.

'Two years since dad.' He said quietly.

'Shit. Sorry, Derek.'

'It's okay.' He smiled weakly.

'Are you okay?'

'I don't know.' He sighed.

'Der,' she prodded.

'I miss him, obviously. But I think… I'm okay. Without dad, I'm… not great but I'm okay. But my mom, she loved him so much and she's cooking. She's already asking me about cookies and Imogen says it's like living in a bakery at home. And she went to visit Lara last week. She… she lost her husband and I worry about her.'

'Derek.' She breathed.

'I don't… Imogen shouldn't be looking after her. It should be me. She's just a kid.'

'I'm sorry, Der.' She whispered, moving a hand gently to his forearm.

'It's not your fault.'

'Is Mark going with you?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Good.'

He looked at her, slightly confused.

'Don't want you to be on your own.' She explained.

'Oh, no. He's coming. Everyone's coming home for the weekend.'

'That'll be nice.' Crap. Why did she say that? 'I didn't mean…' she said quickly. 'About your dad dying, that's not nice. But the family being together. That will be nice.' She rambled.

'I know.' He whispered. 'I know.'

'And tell your mom I would love some cookies.' She giggled slightly.

'You would?'

'I would.' She nodded.

'She's on about coming visiting again soon.'

'That will be nice.'

'I feel like she's just alternating between the five of us to visit every weekend.'

'It's nice that she wants to see you.'

'Have you spoken to your mom recently?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'Not since I came back.'

'Mer it's been weeks.'

'I know.' She said, unbothered.

'You okay?'

'I'm good.' She nodded.

'You sure?'

'I'm sure.' She nodded again. 'No communication is better than her yelling at me for not being at the top of all my classes.'

'We are in bio.' He frowned. 'And you're near the top in the other two right?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Then…. how can she be mad?'

'I told you. She's Ellis Grey.' Meredith laughed harshly.

'Mer, I know….. but if you need to talk about it more. You know you can right?'

'Yeah.' She smiled at him. 'Thanks.'

'You're welcome.'

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hi guys! I know you're all desperate for something to happen, and I hope this is in the direction of where you want things to go... Thank you for reading!_

Derek was with Rose. Derek had been with Rose for three weeks now. Derek was with Rose and Meredith was coming to the conclusion that it was the worst thing ever. In three weeks they had watched one movie. One. Usually they spent practically every night together. And in the time he'd been with Rose she'd spent two with him. They still studied, almost everyday, but then Rose would come and meet him and she'd walk back to her dorm alone, where Sarah and Dan would be all over each other.

Derek was her best friend. But now he had a girlfriend. He had a girlfriend and she didn't see him anymore. Well, she did. She saw him every single day. But he was going out with Rose. And they had invited her out to the bar one night with Rose's friends, but the thought of sitting awkwardly while Rose kissed her best friend was not an appealing one at all. She didn't like sharing Derek. That was what she could draw from this, she didn't like sharing Derek.

And Rose seemed perfectly nice. She actually seemed really nice and Derek really seemed to like her. But Meredith couldn't like her because she was stealing her Derek. She might be Derek's girlfriend, but Meredith was his best friend. And that meant she was allowed to make plans with him, right? She shouldn't have to wait until Derek initiated plans, right? She was his best friend. She could make plans with him just like Rose could. And she was going to. She was going to make plans with Derek.

She sighed, pouring more tequila into her glass before taking a swig.

'So Cristina said Derek's got a new girlfriend.' Said Izzie.

'Yep.' Sighed Meredith, leaning against the couch from her spot on the floor opposite Izzie, next to Cristina.

'Is she nice?'

'She's really nice.'

'You don't sound too convinced.' Said Cristina, raising an eyebrow.

'No. She genuinely is really nice.' Sighed Meredith.

'And this is a problem becauseeeeee?' asked Izzie.

'Because she's so nice that Derek wants so spend time with her twenty four seven.'

'So that's why you invited us round tonight.' Nodded Cristina. 'Not getting enough attention from Brain Boy.'

'No.' said Meredith defensively, before taking another shot. 'Maybe.'

'What's she called?' said Izzie.

'Rose.'

'Nice name.'

'For a flower.' Meredith winced.

'You know, Mer. You sound a little jealous.' She laughed.

'I do not.'

'You kinda do.'

'Shut up. Derek's my best friend, I have a right to be pissed that I hardly see him anymore.'

'Okay so: A, You see Derek every day and B, thanks for putting us in the loop about the best friend thing.'

'I see him in class!' Said Meredith, exasperated.

'So? You still see him.' Frowned Cristina.

'But its not the same.' She groaned.

'So you're jealous.' Izzie nodded.

'I am not jealous.'

'For God's sake Meredith get your head out your ass and wake up. You're jealous because you wanna fuck brain boy.' Said Cristina into her drink.

'I do not!' she gasped.

'Oh please.'

'I do not want to have sex with Derek.'

'Then why you getting your panties in a bunch over him fucking a girl from his physics?'

'Because I don't see him anymore!'

'But you do.'

'But we used to watch movies, and sit in the coffee shop, and he used to cook me dinner every night and we used to study together for hours after class and now…. Now I see him in class and we watched a movie last week but the whole time he was writing Rose. And she called him, when the movie was over she called him. So then I had to leave. And I never leave. I stay. And things aren't the same anymore.'

'What do you mean, you stay?' frowned Izzie.

'At Dereks! I stay!'

'Over?'

'Yes!'

'On his couch?'

'No?' Meredith frowned back.

'In his bed?' Cut in Cristina, to which Meredith nodded eagerly, finishing her drink.

'And you think that would stay the same when he got a girlfriend?' asked Izzie.

'What do you mean?'

'You thought you could just sleep in his bed? When he has a girlfriend?'

'Why not? We don't do anything?'

'Mer…. You…. You're not his girlfriend. That's what girlfriends do. If Alex had another girl sleeping in his bed, I would be pissed.'

'But why?'

'Mer, she's his girlfriend.'

'So?'

'She sleeps in his bed now. Not you.'

'Don't remind me.' Meredith rolled her eyes. 'Mark said they kept him up the other night.'

'Mer,' said Izzie, glancing at Cristina who merely rolled her eyes. 'Do you need to talk….. about Derek?'

'What? Isnt that what we're doing?'

'Mer, I…. do you…. I know you and Derek are really close.'

'We are.' Meredith nodded. 'Or we were.'

'Do you… like him?'

'Well that's a stupid question, of course I like him otherwise he wouldn't be my friend.' She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, drinking the whole of her drink in one.

'No dumbass.' Said Cristina. 'Like I said, you want to fuck him.'

'I do not want to fuck Derek!'

'Urugh, this is going nowhere.' Cristina sighed, turning to Izzie. 'She's not going to admit it.'

'Mer, you're jealous of his girlfriend.'

'Yes. Because she is stealing Derek! My Derek!'

'He isn't…. Mer, he isn't your Derek anymore.' Izzie winced. 'He's Rose's Derek.'

'Well. He is still my best friend.'

'He is.' Izzie nodded, a lot more positive than Cristina.

'So I can call him, right? I can call him and ask if he wants to do something tomorrow?'

'You can.' Izzie nodded again. 'But you just….. have to be prepared that he might not say yes.'

'I'm going to call him.' Meredith announced, shaking her head and standing up almost knocking her bottle of tequila over as she grabbed her cell off the table. She fumbled to unlock it before scrolling to Derek's number, walking into her room and lying on her bed, hearing his number ring out. She frowned when the didn't answer, and checked the time- it was only nine, he couldn't be asleep. She rang him again, staring at the ceiling as it rang.

'Mer?'

'Hey! Derek! Derek, hey!'

'Hey.' He laughed slightly.

'Hey.' She couldn't help but grin.

'You okay?'

'I'm good. How are you?'

'I'm good, thanks.'

'Good. What are you doing tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow? Well I have physics in the morning and chemistry in the afternoon.'

'I meant at night. What are you doing at night?'

'I'm helping Rose with her bio paper at seven, I'm not sure how long it's going to take.'

'Oh.' She said, feeling like something had been stabbed in her chest. He was busy. With Rose. He was busy with Rose but not only was he busy with Rose but he was busy with Rose doing bio. Which was their thing. Their thing.

'Mer, you okay?' he prodded following her silence.

'Yeah. Yeah.' She nodded.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.'

'I'm free Thursday night?'

'Thursday?' she breathed.

'Yeah, if you want to do something?'

'Can we?' she breathed, knowing she sounded totally pathetic.

'Of course.' He replied, and she could tell he was smiling.

'Movie?'

'Movie.' He agreed.

'With ice cream?' she giggled.

'With ice cream.'

'And popcorn.'

'If you want popcorn I will get you popcorn.'

'Thank you.' She giggled again, messing with the comforter on her bed.

'I've missed you.'

'Oh. I've missed you too.' She said quietly, trying to ignore the tears stinging her eyes threatening to fall.

'We should, we should make a point to watch a movie one night a week.'

'We should?'

'We should. Executive decision.'

'Executive decision? Since when have you been an executive?' she laughed.

'Since our friendship needs an executive.'

'And that's you?'

'Yep.'

'Okay.' She laughed. 'So a movie on Thursday?'

'Movie on Thursday. What are you doing on Saturday?'

'Saturday?'

'Yeah, you know. The day after Friday.' He joked.

'Nothing. I'm doing nothing on Saturday.'

'Me and Rose were going to go and watch the basket ball game, Dex is playing. I was wondering if you wanted to come?'

'Me?'

'Yes, you.'

'And Rose?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because you're my best friend and I want you to get to know my girlfriend.'

'Oh.'

'I want you to like her.'

'Oh.'

'So will you come, please?'

'I…. okay.' She sighed.

'Thank you.' And she could tell he was really happy.

'You're welcome.' She sighed again.

'What you up to?'

'Just with Izzie and Cristina.'

'You talked to Cristina?'

'Yeah. Last week.'

'Did you talk to her about the party thing.'

'No.' she sighed.

'Mer.'

'Derek- it's okay. We're friends and we're drinking and it's fine.'

'You're drinking?'

'Yes.'

'Well then I wont keep you any longer.' He laughed.

'Okay.'

'Okay. See you Thursday.'

'See you Thursday.' She sighed. 'We don't have bio tomorrow do we?'

'Nope.'

'So, Thursday.'

'Thursday.'

'Have a nice night.'

'Thanks, you too.' She breathed before hanging up.

She sighed and lay on her bed for a couple more minutes before throwing her phone on the bed and going back into the living room, pouring herself a glass full of tequila, drinking it in one go and slamming her cup on the floor.

'I love him.' She breathed, staring at her empty glass.

'What?' said Izzie, eyeing Cristina carefully.

'Derek. I love him. I think I really, really love him. I love him and now he has a girlfriend.'

'Mer, slow down. You… have feelings for Derek?'

'You want to fuck him.' Cristina nodded.

'No! I don't want to fuck him.' Meredith sighed. 'I… when we're in bed, he holds me. And he kisses me. On the head and on the cheek and he holds me while I fall asleep and he wakes me up with a kiss on my forehead. And right before I fall asleep he kisses me on the back of my neck. And we cuddle when we watch movies. We talk. We talk and I tell him things, things I don't tell other people. Things I've never told other people. I don't want to fuck him. I… it's more than that. It's more than that but because I'm stupid and dark and twisty and I didn't realised I loved him until he got a girlfriend. And now its too late. And I love him. I… I love him.'

'You do?' Izzie whispered.

'Since when did you turn into a sap?' said Cristina, standing up to get another drink.

'I know.' Meredith groaned. 'I hated those people. People who were all lovey. And now I'm lovey. For Derek. Who has a girlfriend.'

'I don't…. it might just be a phase?' Smiled Izzie. 'Initial jealousy of losing a friend?'

'Urugh. But then why do I love him?' she groaned, her head in her hands. 'I love him and I'm stupid. Stupid.'

'You're not stupid, Mer. You and Derek are really close. I guess its easy to develop feelings.' Izzie shrugged.

'Didn't happen for Derek.' Shrugged Cristina, sitting back down.

'Cristina!' hissed Izzie. 'Not helping.'

'Just saying.' She shrugged.

'I love him.' Meredith groaned. 'How did this happen? I love him.'

'You…. Maybe you should talk to him?'

'And say what? Hi Derek I know you have a girlfriend who you like to have sex with but I'm pathetically in love with you, please can we still be friends?'

'I don't know.' Izzie sighed.

'I don't know either.' Meredith sighed, wiping at her eyes quickly.

'Oh, Mer.'

'I'm fine. I'm fine.'

'What did he say when you called him?'

'We're watching a movie on Thursday.'

'That's good.' Izzie smiled weakly.

'He asked me to go out with him and Rose on Saturday.'

'He did?'

'Yep.'

'Are you going to go?'

'I said I would.' She sighed.

'Maybe….maybe it will be good for you.'

'Or maybe I'll just want to kill myself the whole time.'

'That too.' Nodded Izzie.

'I hate her. I hate her.'

'You just said she was nice.' Groaned Cristina.

'She is. But I hate her. She has my Derek. So I hate her.'

'We hate her.' Izzie nodded.

'We hate her.' Meredith nodded.

'We hate her?' Cristina rolled her eyes.

'Yes.' Smiled zzie through gritted teeth. 'For Mer, we hate her.'

'Whatever.' She rolled her eyes again. 'You need to get over Brain Boy. He isn't even hot.'

'He is!' Meredith gasped. 'His eyes! And his hair. And his arms. He has really nice arms, really strong.'

'Come back to me when you're not pathetic.'

'I cant sleep without him.' Meredith admitted quietly.

'Wait- what?' said Izzie.

'In the last three weeks, since I stopped sleeping over. I haven't slept through the night once.'

'Are you serious?'

'Sadly.'

'Mer you really need to talk to him.'

'And then come back when you're not a lame ass loser.' Cristina groaned.

'Cristina!' Izzie hissed. 'Not helping.'

'No, she's right.' Meredith sighed, tears pricking her eyes. 'I'm a lame ass loser in love with a perfect boy who has a girlfriend.'

'Brain Boy isn't perfect.'

'But he is.' She sighed again, her voice breaking. 'He is.'

'Oh Mer.' Breathes Izzie, moving to put an arm around her.

'Love isn't even real.' Meredith whimpered, wiping at her eyes. 'Love isn't supposed to be real and now I love Derek.'

'Mer, He's Brain Boy. Build a bridge already.'

'Will you stop calling him that?! He has a name. And he's called Derek.' She started strongly. 'He's called Derek. With a girlfriend. Called Rose. A girlfriend called Rose.' She began to cry.

'Mer, don't cry.' Soothed Izzie, pulling to hug her. 'Cristina, get the other bottle of tequila out her cupboard.'

She couldn't stop crying. She didn't cry. And now she couldn't stop crying. But then again she didn't believe in love and here she was madly in love with Derek. Why had she not noticed this before he started seeing Rose? Not that it would make a difference anyway. What would Derek want with her. She was dark. And twisty. And Derek was, Derek. He was selfless and he was caring and he was kind and he was cute and he was….. perfect.

He was perfect and he held her when they slept and he always bought her strawberry ice cream and he always had lemonade in for her to drink. And he always let her pick the movie. And he helped her study and he made her laugh and he was…. He was just Derek. And it took her seeing him with someone else to make her realise she was in love with him.

She didn't want to go out with them on Saturday. She didn't want to go out with them because every time Derek held her hand, or every time Rose kissed him, she would be wishing it was her. Because she wanted Derek to hold her hand. And kiss her. And not in a one night stand kind of way. In an I love you kind of way.

She wasn't the girl who went goo goo over boys. And she had never wanted a boyfriend in her whole nineteen years of life. Not once. And she never thought she really would. Except now she did. She wanted Derek.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	17. Chapter 17

_Hi guys! Ok so I did think you were going to like the last chapter but it seems you really liked it because a lot of you reviewed- which was lovely! So, as a thank you for the love here is another chapter. Thank you for reading!_

'I'll have a root beer please.' Smiled Rose at the bar tender, her arm snaked around Derek's waist.

'Make that two.' Derek smiled. 'Mer?'

'Oh. Lemonade please.' She nodded towards the bar tender, as Derek pulled out a bill.

'Thank you.' Rose giggled, leaning to kiss him on the cheek.

'No problem.' He smiled, before scanning his eyes around the bar. 'I cant see anywhere to sit.'

'This is definitely the right place, right?' Rose asked.

'Yeah, the Dublin.' He nodded.

'It tends to get busy in here after the games.' Meredith said, making Rose turn back to face her.

'I thought you that was the first game you've been to?'

'Oh, it was.' Meredith smiled. She had to smile, she had to try. This was Rose and she had to try and smile. 'But I've been in here after a game a few times.' She explained.

'Oh.' Rose smiled back.

'Well Dex said he'd be here at half past anyway.' Said Derek, glancing at his watch.

'What time is it now?' Meredith asked him.

'Twenty past.' Answered Rose.

'Oh.'

'Wait- those guys over there are leaving.' Said Derek, taking his and Rose's drinks off the bar. 'Let's go sit quick before someone else takes them.'

'Okay.' Said Rose, following him as Meredith picked her drink up and followed them.

Following them. That's all she felt like she'd been doing all day. She had met them on the way to the game and walked with them while Rose held his hand and she stood on the other side awkwardly like a third wheel. Well, she was a third wheel. And then they had sat on the bleachers while Dexter played basket ball. She didn't know the rules of basket ball, she'd never watched basket ball before in her life but she was pretty sure by the end of the game she was a freaking expert. Because her eyes had not drifted from the game once. She could hear Rose giggling next to her, and could see her leaning on Derek through the corner of her eye. Even worse she could see Derek's arm around her, so she focused all her attention on the game.

They won, she wasn't sure if it was a big win or how basketball even worked but she knew that they won. Dexter seemed to play well and they won. So now they were out celebrating. Celebrating with Derek and Rose and Dexter and Tim was supposed to be joining them too. But for now, it was just her, Derek, and Rose.

'No.' Rose giggled, as Meredith snapped back into the conversation from her seat opposite them.

'Yes!' Derek laughed.

'No.'

'Yes.'

'Derek.' Rose rolled her eyes. 'I don't want to.'

'Well tough.'

'You're mean.'

'No I'm not.' He laughed, his arm tightening around her.

Meredith didn't even know what Rose didn't want to do. She just wished she'd shut up already.

'Mer,' smiled Derek, turning his attention back across the table to her.

'Yeah?'

'Mom's coming up on Saturday. She told me to tell you.'

'Oh.'

'I think she's making you a cake.' He laughed.

'Oh.' She laughed. 'She doesn't have to do that.'

'I know.'

'A cake?' said Rose.

'Mer likes chocolate cake.' Derek explained. 'My mom said she would have made her one last time if she'd have known.'

'I see.' Rose nodded.

'Is Imogen coming again, too?' Meredith asked, sipping her drink.

'No.' Derek shook his head. 'Just mom.'

'Is she okay?'

'Yeah I think so.' Derek nodded, smiling at her genuinely.

'Good.' She smiled back.

'I'm excited to meet her.' Piped up Rose.

'Oh,' said Derek. 'Yeah.'

'She's really nice.' Smiled Meredith.

'She is.' Nodded Derek.

'She's amazing. She's really kind.'

'She is.' He nodded again.

'But your sisters aren't coming?' Rose clarified, despite Meredith's earlier question.

'No.' he shook his head. 'They're at college and Imogen's studying.'

'Ah.' Rose nodded. 'Do you have a favourite?'

'What?'

'Sister.'

'Oh,' Derek smirked. 'No.' he shook his head.

'Really?'

'Really.'

'So, let me try again. There's Imogen, Lara, Olivia and….' Rose trailed off, her hand playing in Derek's as her eyes closed in thought.

'Claire.' Blurted Meredith.

'Right.' Said Rose, eyeing Meredith carefully. 'Claire.'

'They're all equally annoying.' Derek laughed as Meredith looked awkwardly down at her drink, feeling a hand clap on her back.

'Hey guys.' Smiled Dexter, sitting on the chair next to her.

'Hey.' She smiled in relief. As Tim also pulled up a chair at the table.

'Mark said he might come too.' Said Tim, sipping a beer.

'He did?' asked Derek.

'Yeah, but he said something about some girl… Kelsey?'

'Don't ask me.' Derek laughed. 'It's a different one every night with him.'

'Did Tim tell you he has a date on Friday?'

'What? No!' smirked Derek. 'With who?'

'She's called Ellie.' He sighed.

'Ellie?'

'Yep.'

'Where did you meet her Tim?' asked Meredith.

'In the library.'

'Really?' she giggled, glancing at Derek who was still smirking at his friend.

'Yeah, she's a sociology major. She couldn't work the printer.'

'That's so cute.' Meredith smiled. 'You really like her?'

'Yeah.' He smiled, as Dexter hit his arm.

'Dude you're such a girl.'

'Shut up.' Tim groaned.

'Tim and Ellie sitting in a tree…' Derek goaded.

'Derek.' Meredith frowned. 'Leave him alone.'

'Thank you, Meredith.' Tim nodded.

'If you really like her.' Meredith shrugged.

'I do.'

'That's good. Where are you going to take her?'

'I was thinking the new Chinese place opened near the church?'

'That sounds good.' She nodded.

'Have any of you been?'

'We went last night.' Said Rose.

'Yeah.' Derek nodded. 'It was really nice.'

'The sweet and sour chicken was amazing.'

'It was.'

'And so was the prawn toast.'

'The drinks were expensive though.' Said Derek.

'They were?' frowned Rose.

'Yeah.' He laughed.

'How expensive we talkin, Shep?'

'You'll be fine.' He nodded. 'Just don't let her drink like a fish.'

'Okay.' He laughed.

'Well done on the game, by the way Dex.' Smiled Meredith.

'Thanks, Mer.'

'I don't really get basket ball, but I'm guessing it was good.' She laughed, trying to ignore the way Rose was practically sat on Derek as he kept kissing her.

'It was.' Dex grinned. 'We're in the semi-final now.'

'Of the championship?'

'Yep.' He nodded. 'We're playing NYU next week.'

'Really?'

'Yep.'

'Wow, that sounds… sounds really good.'

'It is.' He nodded, also noting the way Rose was all over Derek. 'Are you okay?' he asked quietly.

'What?' she breathed quietly.

He raised his eyebrows at her best friend.

'Wh- yeah. I'm fine.' She nodded.

'You sure?'

'Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?'

'I'm just asking.' He shrugged. 'You have to share him now. It would make sense if you're not okay.'

'I am fine.' She nodded, finishing her drink.

'You want another?'

'Yes please. As long as I can come with you and don't have to watch… this.' She lowered her voice, giggling slightly as Derek made out with Rose.

'Deal.' He smiled, standing up.

As they reached the bar, Meredith played with her wrists, trying to think about anything but the fact she was stood at the bar with Dexter. Dexter. And not Derek. Because Derek was with Rose.

'So you're fine,' Dex smirked. 'With the Rose thing.'

'The Rose thing?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Yes, the Rose thing.'

'I'm fine.' She nodded, looking for the bartender who was serving the busy queue in front of them.

'I don't think he's fine.'

'What?'

'You're his best friend.'

'I'm still his best friend.'

'Yeah, but things aren't the same anymore, are they?'

'That's not my fault.' She shrugged.

'So, you're not fine with the Rose thing.'

'What?'

'Meredith. I know you naturally have green eyes, Derek told me. But if they weren't already green they'd be shining like emeralds right now.'

'What?'

'Meredith. You haven't looked at him hardly all day.'

'Yes I have.' She said indignantly.

'You can't look at him because he's with Rose.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

'No.'

'Meredith.'

'Will you just drop it?'

'No.'

'Dexter. Leave it.'

'I like you, Mer. You're good for him. And I'd like to think in the last seven months we'd become quite good friends.'

'Leave it.'

'Meredith, if you're not okay with it you can tell me.'

'Will you just stop asking me if I'm okay with it? Because the more you ask me if I'm not okay with it the more I don't become okay with it.'

'I… sorry.'

'Hmmmm.' She said, tapping her fingers on the bar.

'I… but if you're not okay with it… you can tell us.' He smiled as she looked up at him. 'Me, Tim, Mark, we all like you, Mer. And if you miss Derek or whatever, we know we're not the same, but you can always hang out with us. Watch the game or have a few beers or whatever?'

'Oh.' She said quietly, tears stinging her eyes. 'Thank you.'

'It's okay.' he smiled.

'You… I'm sorry. For snapping.'

'That's okay. We know you miss him.'

'I do.' She breathed.

'He misses you too.'

'He does?'

'Hmmmm.' He nodded, waving at the bar man.

'We watched a movie together on Thursday.' She offered.

'Before he was with Rose you practically lived in that dorm.'

'I know.' She nodded. 'But now he's with Rose, and things are different.'

'They are.'

'And….. I'm not okay with it. You were right. I'm not okay, because I miss him. I really miss him and I really miss spending every night with him and studying every day with him and waking up with him and him making me dinner, and breakfast. And…. I miss him. But I'm fine. About him and Rose. Well, I'm not fine, but I'm being fine, for Derek. Because he really likes her. And as his best friend I have to be okay with that. So I'm being fine.'

'You're being fine.' He nodded.

'For Derek. For Derek, I'm being fine.'

'Okay.' Dexter smiled, putting a hand to her back as the bartender came over and took their order.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	18. Chapter 18

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and reviewing. I know you're all waiting very patiently, pleaaaaase hold on. (Because I think you're going to like the chapter I'm currently writing... so yeah, not long... hold on)_

Derek stood at the car park waiting for the silver car he knew so well to pull up outside his building. His parents had had the same car for as long as he could remember, but he still didn't know what brand it was. He just knew that his mom was due at 11 am, and it was 11 am and she wasn't here yet. She would probably pull up with Meredith's cake, and probably some cookies for her too, and maybe some for him if he was lucky.

He'd told her about Rose on the phone the night before, and her reaction was…. Not what he was expecting. To say she'd been willing him a girlfriend pretty much ever since his dad died, and all she'd said was… 'oh.' She had been nice, she had been interested, she just hadn't been excited. He was expecting excited. Maybe she would be more excited once she'd actually met Rose. They were meant to be going for lunch at twelve, so hopefully his mom would like her. They'd only been together for a month, but Rose was sweet so he was sure his mom was going to like her.

'Derek!' his mom smiled, stepping out of the car he hadn't even realised she'd parked.

'Mom!' he smiled walking over to her and kissing her cheek.

'How are you dear?'

'Good thank you. You?'

'I'm alright sweetheart.'

'Good. Now, it's cold, lets go inside.'

'Do you need help carrying anything?'

'I could do with a hand.' Alison nodded, opening the back seat and handing him a covered tray of chocolate cake.

'This Meredith's?' he laughed.

'It is indeed.' Alison smiled, picking two jars of cookies up herself. 'And some cookies for her, and a jar for you and Mark too.'

'Thanks Mom.' He smiled as they began to walk to his dorm.

'Will Mr Sloan be giving us the pleasure of joining us for food?'

'No, but he's home now, and he said he'll be home when we come back if you're up for a chat.'

'Of course I am. I haven't seen my two sons in a month, I'm sure there's a lot for me to catch up on.'

'Of course.' Derek laughed as they walked up the stairs.

'I can't believe you only just told me about this… girlfriend.'

'Oh.'

'You've been together a month, Derek.'

'I know. I'm sorry ma.'

'You will be.'

'It was new, I didn't want to move it too fast.'

'Telling your mother isn't moving it too fast.'

'I know. I know ma, I'm sorry.' He said, pushing the door open to his dorm.

'Ma!' Mark smiled, moving to hug Alison as she put the cookie jars down next to where Derek put Meredith's cake.

'Mark.' She smiled, squeezing him.

'Ma, these are our friends Tim and Dexter.' Said Derek, gesturing to his friends who had appeared in his room since he'd gone to collect his mom.

'Hello Mrs Shepherd.' Said Tim, moving to shake her hand.

'Oh call me Alison.' She smiled at him. 'Which one are you?'

'Tim.' He laughed.

'So you must be Dexter.' She smiled.

'Yeah.' He grinned.

'Do you want a drink ma?'

'A coffee would be lovely thank you, dear.'

'Of course.' He said, pulling out a chair for her.

'Thank you.' She smiled.

'So, you're going out for lunch with Derek and the flower?' smirked Mark, sitting opposite Alison.

'The flower?' she raised her eyebrows as Derek boiled the pot.

'Rose.' Mark smirked.

'Oh, yes I believe so.'

'Shut up.' Said Derek

'She's nice.' Said Mark.

'She is.' Nodded Tim.

'Yeah.' Nodded Dexter.

'That's wonderful.' Alison smiled. 'She's a freshman too?'

'Yeah.' Nodded Derek, placing her drink in front of her and pulling up a chair next to her.

'What major?'

'Premed.'

'Ah, another doctor.'

'What else did you expect?' laughed Mark.

'True.' Alison nodded. 'Our family does seem rather full of doctors. Where is she from?'

'Seattle.'

'She came to Dartmouth from Seattle?'

'Yeah.' Derek nodded. 'Well, so did Mer.'

'True.' Alison smiled. 'Where is Meredith, will she be joining us?'

'Oh. Not for lunch.' He shook his head. 'She might stop by before you leave.'

'Ah I see. Is she busy?'

'I'm not sure. I'll text her and let her know later.'

'I see.' His mom repeated.

'Oh… she… we… we're watching the game later.' Dexter said meekly.

'What?' said Derek.

'The game, we're watching the game at the Dublin.'

'The soccer?'

'Yeah.' Dexter nodded.

'O-kay.' Derek laughed.

'No, I mean…' he glanced quickly at Tim and then Mark. 'With Meredith. She's watching it with us.'

'Oh.'

'So, we'll be in the Dublin later. It starts at two.'

'Mer's watching the game?' he frowned.

'Yeah.' Tim nodded.

'She hates soccer.'

'We asked her if she wanted to come.' Mark shrugged. 'She said yeah.'

'Meredith's going to sit in the Dublin with you three and watch the soccer game on the TV?'

'Yeah.' Nodded Mark.

'Why?'

'We asked her.' Tim shrugged.

'And she said yes?' he raised his eyebrows.

'Yes. She said Yes.'

'You… Meredith is watching the game with you guys?' he said, still confused.

'Jesus Shep how many times?' groaned Mark. 'We're watching the game with Grey in the Dublin at two, if you wanna come by later, come by, if you don't, don't.'

'Mark Jeremy.' Warned Alison. 'Language.'

'Sorry ma.'

'That's okay.'

'She's watching the game? With you?'

'Yes, Derek.' Sighed Tim. 'Why are you so het up?'

'I am not het up.' He said indignantly. 'I just don't get it.'

'What did you think she was going to do all day? Sit by herself because you're busy?'

'What? No.'

'Seems like it.' Said Mark under his breath.

'Shut up Mark. I just didn't realise she'd become that close to you guys, that's all.'

'We like her.' Nodded Dexter.

'Well yeah, so do I.'

'And she wasn't doing anything today so we asked her if she wanted to hang out, she said yes.'

'She's hanging out with you? Without me?'

'Yeah, not like it's the first time.'

'What?' he frowned, looking at Mark and Tim.

'We got pizza on Wednesday.' Mark shrugged.

'You got pizza? With Meredith?'

'Oh Derek calm down.' Said Alison. 'She's allowed to have other friends.'

'This isn't about her having other friends, mom. She has other friends, she has Izzie and Cristina, and Sarah. I just don't get why she's hanging out with you guys.'

'Why wouldn't she?' Said Tim.

'She's _my_ friend.'

'Yeah and you've been giving her about as much attention as Mark gives to the dishes in the sink.' Dexter laughed.

'Hey!' said Mark.

'That's not true.' Derek frowned.

'Yeah.' Mark rolled his eyes.

'It's not.' Derek snapped.

'Did you not ask her if she wanted to come with us today, dear?' frowned Alison.

'Well, no. Because we're going with Rose.'

'Story of your life.' Said Mark.

'That is not true.' Derek shook his head.

'Derek I hope you haven't been ignoring your friend for your new relationship.'

'I haven't, ma!'

'Tone, Derek Christopher.'

'Sorry.'

'You spent like twenty four hours a day with Meredith, what did you think she was going to do when you ditched her.' Said Mark.

'I have not ditched her! She came to the bar with us after your game last week, Dex!'

'Yeah, that was a week ago and you barely spoke to her the whole time.'

'That is not true. And we still have class together.'

'Oh yeah, class. Making a real effort with her there Shep.' Said Tim. 'You know I study with her now?'

'What?'

'Meredith.' He shrugged. 'She's my bio study buddy.'

'No, she's my bio study buddy.'

'Yeah, except you haven't studied with her at all the last couple of weeks.'

'I- I don't understand where all of this has come from? Mer is still my best friend, I just don't have as much time for her now because I'm with Rose.'

'Shep the poor girl's like a lost puppy without you.' Said Mark. 'Yeah you have Rose but she doesn't have anyone like that.'

'That's not my fault?' Derek shrugged.

'Derek Christopher.' Said his mom evenly. 'Meredith is your friend. I don't care if you have a girlfriend or not, she is your friend and you still make an effort with her.'

'Ma, I-'

'Derek. I understand you don't have the same amount of time to give her anymore, but from what you've told me, she's a girl who you know doesn't trust easily. And she trusted you, and now you've replaced her with some girl you've known for five minutes?'

'Ma, it's not like that.' He protested.

'Then what is it like?'

'Not like that.' He sighed. 'This is ridiculous. I'm not having you guys yell at me for being a crap friend to Mer. I have a girlfriend now, she gets it.'

'Yeah, gets that you don't care about her.' Mark breathed.

'No one is yelling, Derek.' Alison sighed.

'Yeah, well. None of you know what you're talking about, me and Mer are fine.'

'Yeah,' said Dexter sarcastically. 'That's why she's hung out with us this week more than you.'

'I've seen her every day!'

'In class.'

'Right, ma. Come on, we're going to find Rose and go for lunch.' He said, standing up and pushing his chair under the table.

'Derek-'

'Ma. Please, lets go.'

Alison sighed, raising her eyebrows at Mark. 'Alright dear, lets go.'

They walked in pretty much silence until they reached Rose's dorm.

'Be nice.' Derek warned before he knocked on the door.

'Oh Derek of course I'm going to be nice.'

'I'm just saying.' He said, turning to knock at the door.

'Rose?' his mom clarified.

'Rose, premed, Seattle.'

'Rose, premed, Seattle.' She nodded as a brunette, small girl with wide eyes opened the door.

'Hey.' Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her.

'Hey.' She smiled. 'You're here early.'

'Yeah, sorry about that.' He laughed softly. 'Rose, this is my mom, mom this is Rose.'

'Hello dear.' Alison smiled, moving to hug her.

'Mrs Shepherd.' She smiled. 'It's lovely to meet you.'

'You too.' Alison said, taking in Rose's straightened hair and made up face and pretty clothes.

'Are you ready to go?' asked Derek.

'Yeah, one second. I just need to grab my bag.'

'Okay.' He smiled. 'We'll wait out here.'

'Okay.' She said before disappearing into her dorm.

'She seems…. Nice.' Alison smiled.

'she is.' Derek said evenly.

'Do the boys like her?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Okay.'

'Mom, don't be weird.'

'I'm not being weird.' She rolled her eyes, as Rose reappeared. 'You look lovely dear.'

'Oh, thank you.' Rose smiled, holding Derek's hand.

'Where shall we go?' said Derek.

'I don't mind.'

'We could go to that Chinese?'

'That's good by me, if you're mom likes it too?' she looked at Alison as they made their way out of her building.

'Oh, yes, I like Chinese food.' Alison smiled.

'Shall we walk or do you want to take the car mom?'

'I would like to walk but my hip's been troubling me a little, so it's probably best if we take the car. Is there somewhere close by to park?'

'Your hip's been bothering you?' Derek frowned.

'Oh, it's nothing to worry about. You know how it is, it's just been a little sore.'

'How long has it been hurting?'

'Just the last few days, stop worrying Derek.'

'I'm allowed to worry, okay?' he said, as made their way back to his building where Alison's car was parked.

'Well I wish you wouldn't.' his mother shook her head. 'Anyway, how are the two of you doing? Derek tells me you've been together a little while, Rose.'

'Oh, yes.' She nodded. 'About five, or six weeks?' she glanced at him.

'Yeah.' He smiled.

'I hope my boy is treating you in a gentlemanly manner?'

'Oh, yes.' Rose smiled.

'Good, you let me know If he's causing trouble.'

'Oh, he won't.' She giggled.

In the car journey to Hanover, Derek sat in the front seat with Alison, directing her to the Chinese, while trying to keep Rose involved in the conversation. He really wanted his mom to like her, especially after his friends' comments about Meredith. He wanted to prove that he hadn't thrown his friendship away for someone his mom wouldn't like.

Not that he did think he had thrown his friendship away. He still saw Meredith everyday, and everyday in class she never said anything about him not spending enough time with her anymore. Things were normal between them in class. They still sat in their usual spot and they still got a coffee from their coffee shop on the way to class. They were still Meredith and Derek, they were just now Meredith and Derek who had a girlfriend.

Meredith said she liked Rose. She said she liked Rose and she was happy as long as he was happy, which he was. So he didn't understand why suddenly his friends were making out like he'd upset her. Surely if he'd upset her, she would have told him. She knew him well enough to know that she could tell him anything, so if he had upset her by spending time with Rose she would have told him. She would have told him and so he had nothing to worry about. He and Mer were fine.

His mom had made polite conversation with Rose over lunch, and had talked to her about her family in Seattle, and asked her about college. It had been nice. Rose had asked about his sisters and had talked about New York. It had been… nice.

But all he could think about the whole time was the fact that Meredith was sitting with Mark and Dexter and Tim in the Dublin. She was sitting with Mark. He didn't even know what they would talk about besides premed. But they were watching the soccer and they wouldn't be talking about college work at the soccer. But Meredith didn't watch soccer so he didn't understand what they would be talking about. And he didn't understand what they had been talking about on Wednesday when they had had pizza. They must have had it in Tim and Dex's dorm because Rose came round to his dorm and he had made her pasta and Mark had gone out. Mark must have gone to their dorm too and not even told him Meredith was there.

He was Meredith's best friend. How could she be hanging out with Mark without him even knowing. Meredith shouldn't even like Mark. Not in the way she liked him anyway, Mark was a whore who only cared about drinking and sleeping with girls. He needed to talk to her. He needed to talk to her about how they ended up like this. How she ended up studying with Tim and hanging out with Mark.

'Derek, dear, do you want to go and find your friends?' asked his mom as their car pulled back up outside his building.

'Oh, yeah.'

'I want to have a talk to Meredith so maybe we could go and find them and then me and her can go back to her room?'

'What do you want to talk to her about?'

'Girl talk.' Alison replied.

'Girl talk?'

'Derek I made the girl a cake I just want to see how she's doing. From what you've told me about her own mother, I want her to know she has someone there for her.'

'Oh.'

'So, which way is this bar?' she asked, shutting her car door as Derek took Rose's hand and fell into step next to her.

'This way.' He said, nodding right, his mom following his gesture.

'So what do you two have planned for the rest of the day?'

'Oh, we were going to study this afternoon, right Derek?' said Rose.

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'We have a Chemistry exam this week.'

'I see.'

'And then just a quiet night in.' Derek nodded. 'What about you, what are you doing tonight?'

'I promised Imogen I would take her and Ruth out for dinner. So I'll have to be getting going after I see Meredith.'

'How is Ruth?' he asked.

'She's good.' Alison nodded. 'She's got more of a clue about college than Imogen.'

'Why doesn't that surprise me.'

'She's thinking she wants to go to Columbia.'

'Really?'

'Hmmmm. Majoring in literature.'

'Wow. I didn't have Ruth down for that.'

'Really? I always thought she was quite the book worm.'

'I cant really remember, in honesty.' He sighed.

'I'll let her know you said hello.'

'Thanks. Are her and Im still joined at the hip?'

'Indeed, she's round most every night and if she's not Imogen's there.'

'Is she staying out a lot?' Derek frowned as the Dublin came into view.

'Only a few nights a week.'

'Are you okay on your own in the house?' he frowned again.

'I'm fine dear, you need to stop worrying.'

'I don't think you're ever going to learn that I'm never going to stop worrying.' He sighed.

'Well you don't need to.' His mother smiled as he held the door of the bar open for her, and Rose followed.

'I'm still going to.' He nodded, spotting Meredith at a table in the corner drinking a beer sat between Mark and Dexter, with Tim next to them. They were laughing and looking at the screen. Meredith didn't like soccer. She didn't like soccer and these weren't her friends. Yet here she was sat with them watching the soccer game.

'There they are.' Pointed out Rose to Alison.

'Ah yes.'

'Hey.' Said Derek, approaching them, his hand in Rose's.

'Hey.' Said Mark, turning from the screen to look at them. 'Did you have a nice lunch ma?'

'It was lovely thank you, dear. How is the game.'

'Oh, we're winning.' Mark grinned, taking another sip of his drink.

'Hey Alison.' Meredith smiled.

'Hello Meredith, dear. How are you?'

'I'm good thank you. It's nice to see you again.'

'You too dear.' Alison smiled at her warmly.

'Do you want a drink, ma?'

'Oh, no I'm good dear.' Alison turned to Derek.

'Okay.' He smiled. 'Mer, do you want anything?'

'Oh, I was just going to ask Meredith if she would help me move the cake.' Interrupted Alison.

'Cake?' Meredith's eyes lit up.

'I told you I would have made you a chocolate cake had I known it was your favourite.'

'Oh.' Meredith smiled. 'Thank you, you didn't have to do that.'

'I know.' His mom smiled at her.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome, dear. I was looking forward to seeing you anyway.'

'Oh.' She smiled, surprised.

'Now, Mark can we have a key for your dorm so we can move Meredith's cake to her own?'

'Oh, that's okay.' Meredith shook her head. 'I already have one.' She said, pulling it out of her pocket on her keychain along with her own dorm key.

'Oh.' Smiled Alison. 'Then we're good to go.'

'You have a key?' asked Rose, as her and Derek reappeared.

'Oh.' Meredith paused, glancing at Derek. 'Yeah.'

'Why don't I have a key?' she laughed, but both Derek and Meredith could tell she wasn't joking.

'Oh.' Derek paused. 'I… I didn't even think about it.'

'Oh.' Said Rose, creating an awkward silence among the students and Alison.

'You can have mine.' Meredith offered to break the atmosphere. 'I mean, I need it to go back now, but when I'm done you can have it. If you want?' she said meekly.

'No, Mer.' Sighed Derek.

'I don't need it anymore.' She shrugged.

'Thanks.' Smiled Rose, as Derek shot a glance at Meredith, smiling sadly at her.

'Thanks.' He echoed.

'Okay, well, we were just going.' Meredith nodded, picking up her jacket.

'Good bye dear.' Said Alison, hugging Derek.

'Bye, ma.'

'It really has been lovely to see you.'

'You too. Now you take care of yourself.'

'Oh, Derek.'

'And tell Imogen to stop saying out.'

'She's seventeen years old, Derek. She has a life.'

'I don't care.'

'Yes you do.' His mother laughed softly. 'I know you worry about me, Derek, but you need to stop.'

'I'll try.' He sighed as she cupped his cheek softly. 'Love you, ma.'

'I love you too sweetheart.'

'Have a safe drive back.'

'Oh, I will.' She smiled, before turning to Rose. 'And it was lovely to meet you too, dear.'

'Oh, likewise.' Rose smiled as Alison moved to hug her. 'Now you keep an eye on my boy.'

'I will.' She smiled.

'Bye Mark.' Alison turned to her other son.

'Bye, Ma. I love you.'

'I love you too, dear.'

'When will we next be seeing you?'

'Well, when do you finish for summer?'

'June 20th.' Answered Derek.

'Probably then, then dear.' She smiled to Mark.

'But what about your birthday?' Derek frowned.

'It's only two weeks before you'll be coming home. You don't need to make a special trip.'

'But isn't everyone else home?'

'The sisters? Yes. But it's okay, I can call my boys and just see you when you get home.'

'No, we'll come.' Nodded Derek. 'Wont we, Mark.'

'Don't be stupid. You'll have your exams.'

'Ma,' Derek groaned.

'At least look at your exam timetable before you decide.' She sighed.

'Okay.'

'Bye dear, I love you.' She leaned to kiss his cheek and then Mark's.

'Love you too.' They both said in unison.

'Bye boys.' Alison smiled to Tim and Dexter. 'Bye Rose.'

'Goodbye Mrs Shepherd.'

'You ready, Meredith?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, walking round to Derek's mom and they made their way out of the bar.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	19. Chapter 19

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for your reviews.. and I am sorry for keeping you all in the angst. In case you don't know me- major spoiler: they will get together in the end and it will be amazing and cute and everything I know you're desperately wanting so don't worry- even if the wait is getting annoying. But just think how much better it will be when you get what you're after;)_

'Thank you, Alison, you really didn't have to do this.' Meredith smiled, putting the chocolate cake on her kitchen table as Alison put the jar of cookies on the side.

'Oh, I've told you you're welcome dear.' Alison smiled.

'Would you like a drink or something?' said Meredith. 'I'm not very good in the kitchen but I can make you a coffee or something? If you'd like?'

'A coffee would be lovely, dear.'

'Okay.' Meredith nodded, searching for a clean mug in her cupboards, and settling for one of Sarah's.

'How are you doing, dear?'

'What?' Meredith turned around as the water boiled.

'I don't mean with work, I know you're doing well there, Derek told me you got As in your last tests and papers. But how are you?'

'Oh.' She paused. 'I'm okay.' She said before a small smile.

'It's a shame Derek didn't ask you to join us today.' Alison said carefully from her spot at Meredith's table as she poured the milk into her drink.

'Oh. Yeah, but it's okay.' Meredith nodded. 'You met Rose for the first time today, right?' she turned around, handing the drink to Alison and motioning for her to sit down with her at the table.

'I did.' Alison nodded, sitting opposite her. 'She's a very nice girl.'

'She is.' Meredith nodded, playing with her hands.

'Do you like her?'

'Wh- yes.' She nodded. 'I don't really know her that well, but she's always polite to me. And she makes Derek happy.'

'I see.' Alison nodded.

'It's good. That you like her.' Meredith tried to say as smoothly as possible. 'It's important to Derek.'

'Oh, I'm not sure about that, dear.' Alison laughed softly.

'What?' frowned Meredith. '…I thought you just said she was nice?'

'She is.' Alison nodded. 'But I don't get the feeling that she's going to be around for that long.' She said casually.

'Oh.'

'So,' Alison said, moving the conversation on quickly. 'You've started hanging out with Mark?'

'Oh. Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'And Tim and Dex.'

'They seem like such lovely boys.'

'They are.' Meredith nodded. 'They're really nice.'

'I'm glad to hear you and Derek have nice friends like that.'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. And she didn't know why but she could feel tears pricking her eyes. She could feel tears pricking her eyes and she didn't want to open her mouth because she knew her voice was going to waver. And she could not cry. She could not cry to Derek's mom. Because if she started crying about hanging out with the boys because she missed Derek she would be telling Alison that she missed Derek. And she couldn't do that. She could, not, cry.

'It's okay, you know.' Alison said softly. 'If you miss Derek.'

'what?' she breathed, feeling her lip begin to tremble.

'I've heard that he's not been giving you as much attention as he should be.' Alison nodded. 'He is still your friend, that doesn't change just because he has a girlfriend.'

Meredith felt her throat close up on her and she couldn't find any words. She couldn't find any words because every single day she had to see Derek and pretend like she was fine. Like she was fine with him seeing Rose, and fine with him blowing her off and never arranging plans anymore. But now Alison was here and she was telling her it was okay to be not fine.

But she didn't know Meredith was completely and totally utterly in love with her son. She thought Meredith was his friend, and said it was okay to miss him as her friend. She didn't say anything about it being okay for her to be in love with him. But she couldn't help it, she couldn't breathe and her throat was closing up on her.

'I'm fine.' She choked out, trying to hold her tears back. 'I'm fine.' She nodded, as a silent tear fell down her cheek.

'Oh, dear. I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry.'

'It's fine.' Meredith whimpered, shaking her head and wiping at her eyes as more tears began to fall. 'I'm fine. It's fine.'

'Meredith.' Alison breathed, reaching out to rest her hand on Meredith's forearm as her shoulders began to shake.

'I'm fine.' She gasped, crying harder.

'Oh come here.' Alison moved around the table to put her arms around the crying girl in front of her.

'I… Derek..' she cried.

'Now, now, dear, it's alright.' Alison murmured to her, rocking her gently.

'I cant…' Meredith whispered, her crying evening out into small whimpers.

'Just breathe, dear. Just breathe.'

'Breathing.' Meredith nodded, tears still falling.

'Let me get you some water and then you can tell me all that's going on in that head of yours.' Alison ran a hand over her hair before turning to get her a glass of water.

'Thank you.' Meredith hiccupped taking the glass and taking a sip.

'Shall we sit on the couch, dear?'

'Okay.' She whimpered again.

'Here we go.' Said Alison gently as they sat on the couch, and she rested her hand back on Meredith' forearm. 'Now, it's pretty obvious to me that you're not fine.'

Meredith sniffled, before wiping her nose on her sleeve. 'That's what Derek says.'

'Derek says what?'

'That I'm not fine when I say I'm fine.' She smiled slightly before bursting into tears again.

'Oh, dear. Please don't cry.' His mom whispered.

'He… Derek.' She gasped again.

'Now, how about you breathe, and then tell me all about what's happening with you and Derek.'

'Okay.' Meredith nodded, once again trying to calm herself down.

'There you go.' Said Alison, gently rubbing her arm.

Meredith stared down at her glass, just as she had done with Cristina and Izzie a few weeks before.

'I think….. I… I love him.' She whispered. 'And I…. Rose…' she cried.

'Oh, Meredith.'

'I… he loves her…' her whole body shook as she put her head in her hand.

'No he doesn't.' Alison soothed, pulling Meredith into a hug.

'He does..' she sobbed. 'He loves her and I'm pathetic.'

'You, are not pathetic.' Alison said, rubbing a hand on Meredith's back and placing a kiss on the top of her head.

'I am.' She cried.

'Meredith, you're not.'

'I am.'

'Shhhh. Just breathe, dear.'

'I cant.' She whimpered.

'Now, have you told Derek how you feel?'

'No.' Meredith whimpered into the older woman's shirt.

'Don't you think you should?'

'What would I say?' Meredith whispered.

'I don't know.' Alison sighed. 'Do you… I don't want to pry, dear. But… if you have feelings for Derek why didn't you say anything until he had a girlfriend?'

'I don't…' Meredith whispered. 'I don't believe in love. Well, I didn't. I didn't believe in love and I hated relationshippy people. And I didn't realise that was what I wanted with Derek until I couldn't have it anymore.'

'You don't believe in love?'

'My mom… and dad. Not the greatest love story. People break up all the time, love isn't real. If it was real people wouldn't get hurt so much.'

'I think you know that's not true.' Carolyn shook her head. 'The very reason you're hurting is because you're in love.'

'Oh.' Meredith whimpered.

'Now,' said Alison, running a hand through Meredith's hair. 'How about I get you a piece of cake and we have a proper chat about this.'

'Okay.' She sniffled, wiping at her eyes. She could not stop crying. Why could she not stop crying.

'Were do you keep your plates, dear?'

'Oh, they're the left cupboard top shelf. Mine are the blue ones.'

'Ah, I've got them.' Alison nodded, pulling two out and reaching for the cake. 'What about your cutlery?'

'the drawer next to the sink. It doesn't matter which ones, me and Sarah share.'

'Okay.' Alison nodded, picking out two forks before coming to sit back down, handing Meredith a plate.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome dear.'

'Oh my god this is amazing.' She breathed, stuffing her mouth.

'Why thank you.' Alison laughed.

'So good.'

'When Derek isn't on in his health crazy zone he enjoys a slice too.'

'He does?' she smiled slightly.

'He does.'

'I got him to have a milkshake not long ago. It had ice cream in it too.'

'Really?' Alison laughed in surprise.

'I think I kind of ruined his health craze.'

'I hate to break it to you, but he ate salad alongside his duck today.'

'Urugh. He's so boring.'

'What else have you gotten him to eat during his time here then?' she laughed.

'Pizza. A lot of pizza.' She nodded. 'We went for a burger, umm I made him eat popcorn at the movies once. And nachos, with cheese.'

'If I didn't trust you I would say I don't believe it.' Alison laughed softly.

'What did Rose eat? Today, I mean.' Meredith asked quietly, taking another bite of cake.

'Oh. She had, sweet and sour chicken with rice and salad.'

'Oh.'

'What?' Alison asked carefully as Meredith looked down, stabbing her cake.

'Nothing, it just makes sense.' She shrugged.

'What does?'

'Well, she eats salad. And I eat…. Cr-junk. Junk.'

'That doesn't mean anything dear.' Alison laughed.

'Yes it does.' Meredith breathed, looking up, her eyes threatening to pour again.

'Oh, Meredith. Now, I trust that I can tell you this in confidence and not a word of it will get back to my son. Either of my sons for that matter, or their friends.'

'Of course.' She nodded, blinking back her tears.

'I spent three hours with Derek and Rose today and I…. she's a lovely girl, Meredith. She's nice, and she's sweet, and she seems to make Derek happy enough.'

'But?'

'But….' Alison sighed. 'You know the last time I came here? With Imogen?'

'Of course.'

'He… he was happy with you too, Meredith.'

'I don't understand.'

'I… I have to admit when Derek told me he had a girlfriend you were the first person that sprung to mind.'

'Me?' she breathed.

'Indeed.' Alison nodded.

'But he… I'm his friend…. And I'm all weird, with abandonment issues and a disapproving mother and I eat junk food and am all dark and twisty. And he's...'

'He's?'

'Per- you're his mom.' Meredith sighed.

'I am.' Alison nodded.

'I can't tell his mom he's perfect and I love him when he has a girlfriend.'

'You're not telling me as Derek's mom, dear. You're telling me as a friend.'

'I am?' she breathed.

'Of course. This is all between us. And I think it's lovely how much you think of Derek.'

'You do?'

'I do.' She nodded. 'I know it's very hard right now, and I know Derek isn't dealing with this the best way he should. But don't give up on him.' The older woman reached to squeeze Meredith's forearm gently.

'How… how can you say that?' Meredith whispered. 'He has a girlfriend. He loves Rose. I cant just see him everyday and act like I'm not in love with him.'

'You're his best friend, Meredith.'

'Exactly.'

'So, you have three options here.'

'I do?'

'You do.' Alison nodded. 'You can either tell Derek how you feel-'

'No.' Meredith shook her head.

'You can either tell Derek how you feel,' Alison repeated. 'Or you can, not tell him how you feel, and try to be the best friend you can to him. Or, you can drift, like you are now. But if you drift you're not going to be there when things end with Rose.'

Meredith stared at the remains of her cake on her lap. 'You… I don't know.' She whispered.

'That's okay.' Alison smiled.

'I don't know.'

'You can sleep on it. I'll give you my number, and you have to promise me you can call me any time you need to talk?'

'I can?' Meredith breathed, looking up.

'Of course.'

'I don't…. Alison what do I do?' she said. 'I'm in love with Derek and he has a girlfriend and what do I do?'

'I… I don't know.' Alison sighed.

'I cant tell him how I feel because it's obvious he doesn't feel the same way. He's with Rose and he wouldn't be with Rose if he liked me. And I cant be with him and act like I don't love him because I do. I really, really love him and…. And I don't know what to do.'

'Oh sweetheart.'

'If you were me, what would you do? If you were me?'

'If I were you, I would… I think I would be his friend. When he needed me I would be his friend. So that when things go wrong I could be there for him. Because if I loved him as much as I think you do, I would want to be there for him, even if he wasn't with me. Even if it killed me.'

'So I'm just supposed to…. Feel like this? Feel like I want to cry every time I see him with her?'

'Oh I'm not telling you what you're supposed to do. You do what feels right to you.'

'But I don't know what feels right to me. Well, I do. What feels right to me is to lean on him when we watch movies and fall asleep on his shoulder and wake up with him holding me in the morning. What feels right is to ask him if he wants to study straight after a class even if we have nothing to study for, or making him drink a coffee ice cream milkshake because he deserves to treat himself every once in a while. But I can't do any of that because he has a girlfriend.'

 _Thank you so much for reading! Please review X_


	20. Chapter 20

_Hi guys! Okay so for anyone that is unfortunate enough to also be aware of what happened in last night's Grey's Anatomy... I am sorry. And I am also sorry that I can't give you cute happy MerDer yet to soften the blow. But I promise you it is coming and they will be adorable._

Derek didn't know what to do. He did not know what to do. It had been almost two weeks since his mom had visited, and his friends had basically told him he was being a jerk to Meredith. He honestly didn't see what he had done wrong. He was still friends with Meredith and he still saw her every day, but he had a girlfriend now and that just meant they couldn't spend every waking hour of every day together. It wasn't because he didn't want to because he did, because he missed her. He missed her a lot. He missed their movies and their coffee shop trips, and their movie once a week had lasted two weeks before Rose had commented on Meredith sitting in his bed.

He liked Rose. He really, really did like Rose. He liked Rose and he wanted to be happy with Rose, and he thought he was getting there. But he couldn't be happy with Rose if he wasn't friends with Meredith. He needed to sort whatever was going on between them. Rose was… Rose was nice and she was kind and sweet and he liked her. He really did, but just because he had Rose didn't mean he didn't need Meredith anymore, he needed to sort things out with her, even if he wasn't sure what was so wrong.

'Hey man.' Said Mark as Derek stepped out of his room.

'Hey.' He smiled.

'Thought you didn't have class until twelve today?' he said from his spot on the couch, turning away from the game.

'I don't.' he said, moving to get a glass out of the cupboard, then the orange juice out of the fridge. 'You know, what you said the other day?'

'What?'

'About Mer?'

'Oh. Yeah?'

'Did you mean it?' he asked, sitting on the couch next to him, a banana in his hand.

'Wha….' Mark trailed off. 'Yeah.'

'I don't-'

'Derek.' Mark cut him off. 'I get that you have a girlfriend but you need to get your head out of your ass.'

'Mark!'

'I'm serious Shep.'

'I don't understand. I do not understand what I've done.'

'So you blew her off for that movie she's been wanting to see ever since the trailer came out because?'

'Oh.'

'Yeah, oh. And you haven't actually asked her to hang out with you in three weeks now.'

'I did- she came to the game last week.'

'Yeah, with you, and Rose, and Me and Tim and Dex. Real quality time with your friend.'

'Hey you don't get to lecture me on friendship.'

'I'm not lecturing you.'

'You are.'

'I'm not, Derek. I'm being your brother and telling you to get your head out of your ass otherwise you're gonna push her away.'

'I'm not pushing her away.'

'Fine.' Mark sighed.

'I want to sort things out with her, but I don't get what I'm apologising for. What am I going to say?'

'Whatever.'

'Mark.'

'You seriously don't see what you're doing is wrong?'

'I have a girlfriend now. I still want to be Meredith's friend but I can't be spending too much time with another girl.'

'What?'

'It's not fair to Rose.'

'Again, what?'

'How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and she spent all her time with her best friend who was a guy.'

'Has Rose been giving you crap about spending time with Meredith?'

'What?'

'Rose. Has she said something?'

'That's not the point.'

'So she's said something.' Mark nodded.

'She's said… it doesn't matter what she's said.'

'I think it kinda does if it means you're treating Mer like crap.'

'She… I can see where she's coming from.'

Mark just raised his eyebrows at him.

'I don't think I'd be okay if Rose spent all her time with another guy.'

'So what did she say?'

'Mark.' He sighed.

'What did she say?'

'She just said it wasn't exactly appropriate.'

'That's it?'

'That's it. And I- I wouldn't feel comfortable with my girlfriend hanging out with another guy all the time.'

'Why?'

'What?'

'Why? Wouldn't you want someone hanging out with Rose all the time?'

'Isn't that obvious?'

'Go on.' Mark nodded.

'Well, you know….'

'What?'

'Mark, you know what I'm alluding to.'

'So you wouldn't want Rose hanging out with another guy because you'd be scared that either they'd be having sex, or there was something more going on between them.'

'Well done dumbass.'

'You really are stupid aren't you?'

'Excuse me?'

'You. You're stupid.'

'I am very intellectual I'll have you know.'

'You're stupid.'

'Will you stop saying that?'

'So, if Rose was that bothered about you hanging out with Meredith, and you really wanted her to be your best friend, why didn't you just tell her that's all Meredith is.'

'I did.'

'Well you didn't.'

'I did.'

'Well it obviously didn't get through to her if she doesn't trust you.'

'She does trust me! She likes Meredith!'

'So you aren't hanging out with her becauseeeee?'

'I just explained it was inappropriate.'

'Not if you're relationship with Meredith is purely platonic.'

'not the point. And that's a big word for you.'

'It is the point.'

'Rose likes Meredith. She was wary at first, but now we've stopped hanging out as much, Rose likes her.'

'Now you've stopped hanging out.'

'Yeah.'

'So you're not hanging out with Mer to keep Rose happy.'

'I told you I didn't want a lecture and you're still going.'

'Derek. Do you hear yourself?'

'What kind of a question even is that?'

'Derek.' Mark sighed as Tim and Dex burst through the door.

'Yo!'

'Hey- woah, have we interrupted something?' Tim laughed as he slumped into the old arm chair on the right of the room.

'No, Mark's just being an ass.'

'I'm not being an ass.'

'He is.' Derek sighed, leaning back and peeling his banana.

'I'm trying to tell him what's been staring him in the face for like, ever.'

'What? The Meredith thing?'

'Yup.' Said Mark as Dex sat on the couch arm next to Derek.

'You've talked about this?' Derek looked around at them.

'Not much. There's not much to say, it's pretty simple.' Dexter nodded.

'What?'

'Why you're not hanging out with Meredith.'

'Why?'

'Look,' said Tim. 'You're dating Rose and it's all nice but you're not exactly into her.'

'What is that supposed to mean? Of course I'm into her.'

'Really?'

'Why would I be dating her if I wasn't into her?'

'You don't really talk about her that much.' Tim shrugged.

'Yes I do.'

'Well, obviously sometimes. But if I didn't know you I wouldn't guess you'd only been going out a month.'

'Six weeks.' Derek corrected.

'Still the honeymoon phase.'

'What?' Derek frowned.

'Dude, you're supposed to be gushing about her twenty four seven and fucking her like a rabbit and fawning all over her and not shutting up about her.'

'I do spend time with her, and I do have sex with her, and I do talk about her.'

'Not as much time as you used to spend with Meredith, and you have sex…. Often. But not like bunnies. And you talk about her straight after you see her but then after that…. Not really.'

'I've had enough of this.' Derek stood up.

'Hey- you asked man.' Said Dexter.

'You're not giving me an answer- you're just giving me crap and criticising my relationship with Rose.'

'We're not criticising!' said Tim.

'I kind of am.' Said Mark.

'You, can shut up.' Derek glared at him.

'Do you really want me to spell it out to you?' Said Mark.

'If you're going to give me this much crap about it then yes. Yes I do.'

'You're into Meredith.'

'Wh-what?' Derek almost laughed.

'You, you're so into Meredith you might as well stick your dick in her right here right now.'

'Wh-Mark, don't be ridiculous.' He laughed nervously looking at his other friends. 'He's being ridiculous.'

'Right.' Dexter said awkwardly.

'He's being ridiculous.' Derek repeated. More convincing himself than them.

'He is.' Tim nodded.

'That's totally why you don't hang out with her anymore.' Added Dexter.

'Shut up.'

'Dude you're into her.' Mark repeated.

'Stop talking, Mark.' Derek turned around to him.

'You're not hanging out with her because you're practically in love with her and don't want to spend time with her when you're not with her, you're with Rose.'

'That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.'

'Right.' Nodded Mark.

'It is.' He said indignantly.

'So if Rose likes Meredith now, why don't you spend time with her?'

'Mark.'

'If Rose trusts you.' Mark nodded.

'She does.'

'So she isn't the issue here. You are.'

'Ma-'

'You don't trust yourself, Derek. You're in love with her and you don't trust yourself.'

'What does it matter if I'm in love with her?!' Derek shouted. 'Even if I was in love with her, nothing would ever happen between us anyway. So that theory's bullshit.'

'Why would nothing happen?'

'She doesn't believe in love.' Derek shrugged.

'So that's why you're with Rose? Because you cant have Meredith?'

'No.'

'But you just said you're in love with her?'

'I didn't say that!'

'You pretty much did.'

'You're being an ass Mark!'

'Derek,' said Tim. 'He… he's being an ass but he's telling the truth.'

'Wha-'

'You've been in love with Mer for like, ever. And you're only with Rose because you think nothing's going to happen with Meredith.'

'Tha-'

'Stop. Just stop talking, Derek.' Tim breathed. 'It's okay, we all know you're in love with her. You've been in love with her since the day you saw her. But it's not fair to suddenly phase her out because of that.'

'I do not love Meredith.'

'For God's sake Derek!' shouted Tim, exasperated. 'You're fucking in love with her and the poor girl thinks you want nothing to do with her.'

'I have a girlfriend.'

'Only because Meredith doesn't believe in love.'

'That's not true. I like Rose.'

'Yeah, you like Rose, you love Meredith.'

'Fine! What do you want me to say? That I'm in love with her? That I love her so much that the thought of seeing her every day and not be able to love her and hold her and kiss her kills me? The thought of her having sex with random guys every time she gets drunk doesn't stab me in the chest so much I feel like I am literally being stabbed? The fact I think about her every time I have sex with Rose? The fact I think about her every minute of every day? Because if that's what you want me to say when we all know I can never have anything more than friendship with her is just cruel. It's cruel and if you know that's how I feel and you know that- why are you bringing this up?'

'Finally you admit it.' Smirked Mark.

'I don't see how this is helping anything.'

'Because she thinks you don't want her anymore.' Said Tim.

'Well I do! I want her so much but not in the way she wants me.'

'She wants her friend, Derek.'

'Well I cant be her friend the way I used to.'

'Because you love her.'

'I love her and I'm really trying not to love her and move on with Rose. I'm trying to move on with Rose so that I can hang out with her again as normal. But if you keep breathing down my neck every five minutes that's not going to happen.'

'So you love her.' Nodded Mark.

'Will you stop saying that when I have a girlfriend.'

'So what you gonna do?'

'What do you mean?'

'About Meredith.'

'I don't know.' He said defensively.

'You cant carry on the way you are, man.' Said Dexter. 'She's lost without you.'

'What am I supposed to do?'

'I dont know.' Dexter sighed. 'You could tell her, explain?'

'Absolutely not.' He shook his head.

'Why not?' said Tim.

'One its embarrassing and two she'll be freaked.'

'Better than her thinking you don't want anything to do with her.'

'I see her every day!'

'Derek.'

'I see her every day, I'll go and see her now. Apologise for not spending enough time with her. I'll try. I will try, okay? I'll try and spend more time with her so you don't have to and I'll-'

'Hey, this isn't about that. We like Mer. She can always hang out with us.' Frowned Dexter. 'We like hanging out with her, but we all know you don't like us hanging out with her. So you need to do something about that.'

'I will!'

'Okay.' Dexter sighed.

'You need to stop jerking her around, that's all Derek.'

'I'm not jerking her around.' He groaned.

'Then do something.' Said Mark.

'You know what, you're all jerks.' Derek huffed, storming out with his banana.

He had to go and see Meredith. He had to show her that he still cared about her, that he wasn't fucking her off for his girlfriend because he didn't care. The whole issue was that he cared too much, he cared too much to be around her all the time. And while he was going to apologise come up with some excuse as to why he hadn't been spending time with her, he also couldn't tell her the truth. As he exited his building and hit the fresh air, he knew he had to see her but he had no idea what he was going to say to her.

 _Thank you for reading! Please Review X_


	21. Chapter 21

_Okay, so after what happened last night I am writing away the pain. Here you go and *Maybeeeeeee* you'll even get another update tonight after I finish my college work. (Trying to get to the happy bit as quick as I can because the discarding of the post it has sent me over the edge)_

'Hey.' Meredith smiled, surprised to see Derek outside her door holding a caramel iced latte with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Her favourite. With cream. And sauce.

'Hey.' He smiled at her, his eyes sparkling.

'Hey.' She repeated, unmoving, the smile not leaving her face.

'Are you gonna let me in or?' he laughed.

'Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, yeah come in.'

'Thanks.' He said, stepping inside as she shut the door behind him.

'What are you doing here?' she said a little more hopefully than she intended.

'I thought I'd come and see my best friend.' He smiled, handing her the coffee.

'You did?' she grinned.

'I did.'

'You didn't need to bring me this.'

'I wanted to.'

'Well thanks.'

'You're welcome.' He smiled, sitting on the couch. 'Think of it as a peace offering.'

'A peace offering?' she said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, crossing her legs before taking the lid off her drink to scoop the whipped cream off.

'I… I know I've been crap lately.' He sighed.

'Oh.'

'I know, I… I'm sorry, Mer. I'm really, really sorry that we haven't been spending much time together.'

'…that's okay.' She smiled, and as much as she knew it wasn't okay, as much as she was upset the fact he was apologising to her and smiling to her the way he was somehow made everything okay.

'It's not.' He shook his head. 'I know me and Rose…. I know… but it's no excuse, Mer.'

'I… It's okay, Derek.'

'Mer, it's not. I miss you. And I'm sorry.' He said, leaning to touch her forearm gently.

'I… I forgive you.' She smiled softly, her heart skipping a beat at his thumb stroking her arm.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome.'

'So I thought we could do something today.'

'We could?' she smiled, his hand still on her arm.

'Whatever you want.'

'Whatever I want? I could take advantage of that.' She giggled, liking some of the whipped cream off her straw.

'I've been such an ass lately, you can take advantage as much as you want.'

'Really?' she smirked.

'Really.' He laughed. 'So, what do you fancy?'

'Honestly?' she breathed. 'Just a movie day.'

'Movie day?'

'Uh-huh. I mean, we need to get snacks, and potentially pizza.' She laughed. 'But yeah, movie day. I miss just hanging out with you, we don't have to do anything fancy.' Her heart almost swelled at the smile on his face as she stopped talking.

'Movie day.' He nodded.

'Movie day.'

'I'll get the snacks and pizza.'

'You don't have to do that, Derek.'

'I know. I want to. This is me, apologising.'

'You have apologised. You don't need to buy the food too.'

'I want to.'

'But you're here now, that's all that matters Derek. I didn't miss you because you buy me food.'

'I know.' He smiled gently.

'I miss _you_.'

'I miss you too.' He whispered.

'But you're here now.' She smiled gently.

'I am.'

'So unless you plan on bailing on me for a month again, I think we're good.'

'Definitely not.' He nodded.

'Good.'

'I've missed you too much to bail again.'

'I've missed you too.'

'You just said that.' He laughed.

'Stop laughing at me.' She pouted. 'I was telling you I missed you. That's a big deal in the Meredith chronicles.'

'I know.' He whispered, squeezing her arm gently.

'I have severe emotional limitations and I just had a bordering on emotional conversation with you so you cant laugh at me.'

'I'm not laughing at you.' He laughed.

'You are!' she laughed, unable to keep a straight face.

'I'm not!'

'Derek!' she laughed, swatting his arm. 'Stop laughing at me and my dark and twisties!'

'I am not laughing at your dark and twisties! I'm laughing at you accusing me of laughing at your dark and twisties!'

'It's not funny!' she giggled, swatting him again.

'I think it is.' He grinned, picking up her couch cushion and hitting her lightly with it, making her spill her late.

'Hey!' she gasped, putting her cup on the table and wiping the spillage with her sleeve as he hit her again. 'Derek!'

'What?' he laughed.

'Stop hitting me!' she laughed, as he moved closer, hovering over her and she could feel his breath on her, his eyes locked in hers, making her hairs stand on edge.

'No.' he laughed.

'Derek!' she pushed him off her, unable to be so close to him without giving in to the urge to lean in, cup his face and kiss him.

'Now you're laughing too.' He grinned, as he caught her breath.

'Whatever.' She pouted, straightening her clothes even though they didn't need straightening.

'So what movies do you want to watch?' he asked, putting the cushion back.

'I don't mind.' She grinned, picking her drink back up and crossing her legs.

'How abouuuuut, the-'

'Titanic!' she gasped.

'Titanic?' he groaned.

'Titanic.' She nodded. 'We haven't watched it in ages.'

'Because it's depressing and you grin every time Leonardo DiCaprio comes on.'

'He's hot.' She shrugged. 'And it's one of my favourites.'

'It's three hours long.' He groaned.

'And you said this was my day.'

'I did.' He sighed.

'So, Titanic.'

'Titanic.' He sighed, unable to hide his smile. 'What snacks do you want?'

'Popcorn.' She nodded as he stood up. 'And chocolate.'

'The crispy chocolate in the green packet?'

'Uh-huh.' She nodded.

'Anything else?'

'Well, ice cream but we can have that later after pizza.'

'We can.' He smiled. 'Okay, so I'll go to the store and get the snacks, you set the movie up.'

'Okay.' She giggled, standing up, sipping her drink as he moved to the door. 'Derek.' She breathed as he stepped out into the hallway, reaching for his elbow.

'Yeah?' he smiled, turning to face her.

'Thank you.' She breathed. 'I really have missed you.'

'Me too.'

His eyes were piercingly blue and they were staring into hers so much she felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe because he was looking at her like that, like he used to. He probably wasn't really looking at her like that because he had a girlfriend. But in that moment she couldn't breathe because of how he was looking at her.

'Okay.' She whispered. 'Go get snacks, I'll get Leo prepared.'

'Great.' He rolled his eyes, turning to wink at her as he left.

She hurried into her room, putting her drink on the side and crawling to her DVD collection on the floor next to her tv, rummaging until she found Titanic. She flipped open the DVD slot, putting it in before grabbing for the remote off her bed. She couldn't stop smiling and she hoped she could act semi-normal when he got back, because as much as she hated seeing him with Rose; he wasn't with Rose right now, he was with her. They were having a movie day, and hopefully for just a little while she could forget he had a girlfriend and they could watch Titanic and he could laugh at her when she cried, and then she could throw popcorn at his head in feign annoyance. Things could be good. And while she wanted nothing more for him to love her the way she loved him, being his best friend was better than nothing at all. Her talk with Carolyn had made her realise that she didn't want to lose Derek, even if it meant watching him with Rose.

She stepped in front of her mirror, pulling her shirt down and fixing her hair. He had a girlfriend but she still wanted to look good.

'Mer!' her roommate's voice came through the door.

'Hello?' she said, moving out of her room.

'Hey.' Smiled Sarah.

'Hey. You okay?'

'Yeah, just handed in my paper, was wondering if you wanted to do something today?'

'Oh, sorry.' She winced. 'Derek's just gone to get snacks, we're having a movie day.'

'Oh.'

'Sorry.'

'Don't worry.' She smiled. 'I'll call Dan. What movies you watching?'

'Starting with Titanic and then I'm not sure. I should probably let him pick the next one because he hates Titanic.' She giggled.

'So are things good between you again?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Cause he hasn't been around in weeks.'

'I know.' Meredith sighed. 'But I think we're good now.'

'That's good.' Sarah nodded. 'So… I know you've always said you're just friends, but are things…. Developing between you two?'

'What?' Meredith laughed. 'No.'

'Are you sure?' Sarah smirked.

'Very sure. He has a girlfriend Sarah.'

'Wait- Derek has a girlfriend? Since when?!'

'Since like six weeks ago.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I don't know.' She shrugged.

'Is this why you fell out?'

'We didn't fall out.' Meredith frowned.

'Then why didn't he come round for weeks?'

'Because he has a girlfriend.'

'Oh, I see.'

'Huh-huh.' Meredith nodded.

'It's good that you're good again. While I don't get your supposedly platonic friendship, I'm glad things are back on track with you guys.'

Meredith frowned, ready to ask Sarah about her comment when Derek came through the door.

'Hey.' Meredith grinned.

'Hey.' He grinned back.

'Leo is all ready for you.' She giggled.

'Great.' He rolled his eyes, throwing the bag of popcorn at her. 'Hey Sarah.'

'Hey.' She smiled. 'I believe Titanic isn't your thing?'

'He says it isn't but I think he secretly likes it.' Meredith cut in.

'Whatever.' He rolled his eyes.

'I'll let you guys watch anyway, I'll see you later Mer.' She smiled, picking up her phone to assumedly call Dan.

'Bye.' Meredith laughed. 'Well done on your paper!'

'Thank you!' she said over her shoulder. 'Bye Derek.'

'Bye.' He smiled. 'She do well on her assignment?'

'Oh, no. But she handed it in this morning, it's been stressing her out for weeks.'

'Ah, I see.' He nodded.

'Did you get ice cream?' her eyes lit up.

'Somehow I knew you would be wanting it before we got pizza.'

'You know me so well.' She laughed.

'I know.'

'I need to pee so you get some spoons and I'll meet you in bed.' She said before realising the latter end of her sentence.

'Okay!' he called to her as she made her way to the bathroom.

'Thank you.' She giggled, climbing into the bed beside him after going to the bathroom, picking up the remote and pressing play.

'You, are very welcome.' He said, handing her a spoon before the ice cream tub.

'If you really don't want to watch this, I suppose we could pick something else.' She said quietly, turning to face him, realising he was closer to her than he had been in months. She could practically feel his breath on her and his eyes seemed to burn her skin.

'It's okay.' He smirked. 'I can cope with Leo for you.'

'Thanks.' She giggled, leaning into him slightly.

'Besides, I like the part when he dies.'

'Hey!' she turned to hit him.

'I'm joking, I'm joking!' he laughed.

'Shut up.' She pouted, turning back to the screen and shovelling a scoop of ice cream into her mouth.

'I really have missed you.' He whispered.

'You too.' She breathed.

'I'm sorry.'

'I know. I said it was okay, Derek.'

'You're my best friend.'

'And you're mine.'

'I don't want to lose you. Ever.'

'Me neither.' She whispered, using all of her strength not to look at his lips.

'Especially not over a girl.'

'Me too.'

'I… You're my best friend. Forever. No matter what girl. Okay?'

'Okay.' She nodded.

'So. What's new with you?'

'I know you're only talking to make the movie go quicker.' She laughed.

'You see right through me.'

'Seeing as it's you, I'll pretend like I don't know your game.' She giggled.

'Thank you. So, again I will ask, what's new with you?'

'Well I ate the whole of your mom's chocolate cake in three days.'

'Of course you did.' He laughed as she settled against his shoulder.

'And I finished her cookies by yesterday.'

'Of course you did.'

'Apart from that, not much.'

'There must be more than that.' He laughed. 'What did mom want to talk to you about anyway?'

'Oh.' She breathed. 'Just stuff.'

'Stuff?' he raised his eyebrows.

'You know, girl stuff.'

'Mer I have four sisters you can elaborate on girl stuff.'

'Just asking me how I was doing she shrugged. Chat.'

'Chat?'

'Well she knows my mom doesn't care so I think she was just trying to be momish.'

'Mer.' He breathed. 'Have you spoken to your mom recently?'

'Two days ago she called.'

'She did?'

'Yep. First time this semester.'

'Did she have anything interesting to say?'

'Nope.'

'Did you tell her about your As on your last two papers?'

'Yep.'

'What did she say?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'Well, she asked for my percentage and when they weren't one hundred percent she sighed and asked me when I would next be home.'

'She's…. ignore her.'

'Yeah.'

'So, when are you next going home? After finals for summer?'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'You?'

'Oh, mom's birthday I think.'

'Oh yeah.' She nodded. 'I forgot.'

'You can come if you want?'

'What?'

'To mom's birthday dinner, it's just a family dinner but you're more than welcome to come. I'm sure she'd like to see you there.'

'Oh… are you… I don't know… Derek…'

'It would be nice.' He smiled. 'I'd look after you.' He said gently.

'I… maybe.' She smiled.

'Great.'

'I'm not… I don't do families, Derek.'

'I know. But you know Mark, and my mom. And Imogen.'

'I met Imogen once and I don't think she liked me.'

'She did like you!'

'Really?' she frowned.

'Yes.' He laughed. 'Why did you think she didn't like you?'

'I don't know.' She shrugged. 'I didn't think she hated me or anything, but I didn't think she particularly liked me.'

'She was telling the others how much she liked you when I was home.'

'She was?'

'Yeah. She said you were quiet, but she said she liked you.'

'Oh.'

'So you'll have four of us in your corner. That's half.'

'Lara, Olivia and Claire, and Lara's boyfriend.'

'Correct.'

'I…. maybe I could do that. When is it?'

'June fifth.'

'Oh, so like three weeks?'

'Yeah.'

'How are you getting home?'

'Not sure.' He sighed. 'Probably a flight. But I know it might be expensive so don't worry.'

'No it's fine.' She said. 'I… I think I'd like to come.'

'You would?'

'Yeah. I miss you. So a trip sounds good.'

'I miss you too, Mer. And I promise things will stay normal now.'

'Okay.' She smiled, having to stop herself staring at his lips again.

She was going to meet his family, in three weeks she was going to meet Derek's family and that was big. It was big, but she was his best friend. And spending the weekend with him away from Rose sounded perfect. She felt perfect. Her head was gently resting on his shoulder and she was slightly cuddled into his side. Not as much as she used to, but she figured this was good enough for now. Kate and Leo were on the screen and as hot as he was she wasn't thinking about Leonardo DiCaprio for the first time ever watching the movie. All she could think about was Derek and how good he felt next to her and how happy she was next to him. He might not love her the way she loved him but he was still her best friend and she could still lay with him in bed eating ice cream and watching movies. And that was okay. It was better than losing him altogether.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review X_


	22. Chapter 22

_Three updates in one day don't say I don't treat you. (Still depressed about last night and don't think I will ever be over it or forgive this shell of a woman claiming to be Meredith Grey.)_

She was nervous. She was beyond nervous and she couldn't stop picking at her nails as the car pulled up at Derek's house. It was nice, it was big. Not as big as her house in Seattle, but it was homey big. Family kind of big. It was in a nice neighbourhood and she could imagine Derek playing soccer outside on the grass when he was younger, probably getting his ass kicked by Mark. She took a deep breath and tried to remind herself to be as normal as possible. Alison, Imogen, Lara, Olivia, Claire and…. Crap. What was Lara's boyfriend called. Jake? Jack? James? No, Jake. She was sure it was Jake.

'Earth to Grey.' Laughed Mark.

'What?' she breathed, snapping out of her trance.

'We're here.'

'Oh.' She said, even though they knew they were.

'Let's go.' He said, stepping out the car and shutting the door before opening the trunk.

'Mer, you okay?' asked Derek from the passenger seat.

'Yeah, yeah.' She nodded. 'Yeah I'm good.'

'Get your asses out of here.' Groaned Mark, pulling their bags out of the trunk.

'We're coming.' Said Derek, glaring at his brother.

'Lara, Jake, Claire, Olivia and Imogen.'

'Correct. You'll be fine, Mer. Anyway, it's not like you're my girlfriend. They're not going to grill you.'

'Yeah.' She nodded, her stomach falling at his words. 'Right.'

'Come on, let's go.' He smiled, stepping out of the car himself. She took a deep breath before reaching for her own door, feeling slightly deflated. The way 'it's not like you're my girlfriend.' Rolled so casually and humorously off his tongue made her want to cry. But she couldn't cry, she had to walk inside and be Derek's best friend. Because that's all she was.

'Thanks Mark.' She smiled, taking her bag off him.

'No problem Grey.' He replied.

'There you are!' came Alison's voice from the front door as she came out onto the driveway, immediately enveloping Derek into her arms.

'Hi mom.'

'It's so lovely to see you dear.'

'You too.' He grinned.

'I hope you're studying hard.'

'Of course.'

'And hello Mr Sloan.' She smiled, turning to kiss Mark on the cheek, pulling him into a hug too.

'Hey Ma.'

'You're looking well.'

'Why thank you.' He said smugly. 'When do I not?'

'You never change do you.' Alison laughed, moving past him to greet Meredith.

'Hello, dear.'

'Hi Alison.' She smiled, as Derek's mom hugged her tightly.

'How are you?'

'Good.' She smiled, to which Alison knowingly raised her eyebrows. 'Really, I'm…. better.'

'Good.' Alison smiled warmly, linking her arm in Meredith's free one. 'Come on, let's go inside, it's chilly to say it's june.'

'Do you want me to grab your bag, Mer?' said Derek, turning round on his way to the door.

'No it's fine, I got it.' She nodded. 'Thanks.'

'Sure?'

'Yeah.' She smiled, watching as he and Mark entered the house with her and Alison not far behind.

'He hasn't told me anything about a break up.' Alison said quietly.

'What?' Meredith breathed, stopping just before they stepped inside.

'Rose. He hasn't said they've broken up, and yet here you are.'

'Oh. As his friend. Best friend.'

'I see.' Alison nodded. 'So he doesn't know?'

'No?'

'But I'm assuming things are better if you're here?'

'Yeah, they're almost… normal.'

'Almost?'

'Well, I think they're normal but I don't think it's ever going to be the same.'

'You just hang in there.' Alison smiled. 'Now, Derek will be wondering where you are.' She laughed.

'Okay.' She said nervously, following Alison inside.

The house was nice, really nice and she could hear lots of people in the living room, lots. There would be at least eight. Eight people. She could do this. She could-

'Mer.' Derek grinned, moving to her side immediately. 'Guys this is Meredith.'

'Hi.' She said awkwardly, fiddling with the strap of her bag. Pretty. That was all she could think. Derek's sisters were all really pretty. Blonde. Two of them were blonde and two of them had light brown hair and one had red- wait, Derek only had four sisters.

'Hey Meredith.' Smiled Imogen.

'Hey.' She nodded.

'So this is the non-girl friend, friend who's a girl?' a blonde girl laughed. Older, she was guessing…. Lara.

'Shut up.' Derek groaned.

'So that's a yes?' she laughed.

'This is Meredith, my best friend.'

'Hi, I'm Lara.' She smiled.

'Hi.' Meredith tried to smile. 'So I'm assuming you're Jake?'

'I am.' Nodded the cute guy sat next to Lara on the couch. 'It's nice to meet you.'

'You too.' Meredith smiled as Derek took her bag and put it next to his by the door. 'Thanks.' She whispered.

'Come sit down, Grey.' Said Mark, moving a cushion from the spot next to him on a couch.

'Thanks.' She said awkwardly, knowing everyone was looking at her as she walked over and sat next to him.

'Now, do you three want a drink?' smiled Alison.

'I'll have a soda, please Ma.'

'No problem, Mark. Meredith?'

'Oh, erm, do you have any lemonade?'

'We do indeed. Derek?'

'Oh, just water please.' Derek smiled. 'Do you want some help?'

'No, I'm good thank you son.'

'Okay.' He said, sitting next to Meredith, putting her in the middle of him and Mark. She felt his arm go around the back of the couch around her head and it took everything she had to stop herself naturally leaning into him.

'I'm Olivia.' A mousey brown haired girl next to Imogen smiled.

'Oh, hi.' Meredith smiled.

'Derek's second favourite.'

'Shut up.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'We know it's true.' Imogen laughed. 'Mer, this is my best friend, Ruth.' Gesturing to the red head girl on her other side.

'Oh, hi.'

'Hey.' The girl smiled.

'And I'm Claire.' Smiled the other blonde girl, who was sat on the floor, her back leant against the couch where Derek's younger sisters were sat, a glass of orange soda resting in her lap.

'Hi.' Meredith smiled. 'It's really nice to meet you. All of you.' She added, looking around the room as Alison reappeared with a tray.

'There you go dear.' She smiled, handing Derek his drink, then Meredith hers and finally Mark his.

'Thank you.' Meredith smiled, taking a sip.

'So, you put up with these two all the time?' Asked Claire from her spot on the floor. 'I don't know why you would do that voluntarily.'

'Hey!' Mark feigned hurt. 'That cut deep.'

'Aw, boo.' Claire mocked.

'She's right.' Nodded Olivia. 'You're both annoying. I feel bad for you, Mer.'

'Oh.' Meredith laughed. 'They're really not that bad.'

'Not that bad?' Derek laughed, turning to her. 'I took you out for pizza twice this week.' He pouted. 'I think that's more than not that bad.'

'Fine.' She laughed. 'You're okay.'

'Okay?' he laughed.

'Yes.' She giggled.

'So you take class with him, and have to put up with him after?' said Olivia.

'Yeah, we're in the same bio.' Meredith nodded.

'Derek say's you're premed?' said Lara, her legs casually draped over Jake's.

'Oh, yeah. You're at med school, right?' She was sure Derek said she was at Columbia.

'Yeah, Columbia.' Lara nodded. 'I'm assuming you guys haven't begun thinking about where you're going to apply yet?'

'Oh, no.' breathed Meredith.

'I'm thinking of staying at Dartmouth.' Said Mark.

'You are?' said Derek.

'Not set on it.' Mark shrugged. 'But I like it.'

'IT is a good programme.' Jake nodded.

'Do you…' Meredith began. 'You're at med school too?'

'Yeah.' Jake nodded. 'Did pre med at NYU.'

'Oh, cool.' She smiled. Small talk, she was making small talk and it was going well so far. 'You're at NYU right Olivia?'

'Oh, yeah.' Olivia smiled unexpectedly at her. She was doing good at this. She was remembering.

'You know what you're doing yet Im?' said Derek.

'Oh, I'm thinking.' Imogen nodded.

'Good.' He nodded.

'Meredith, we're having lasagne for dinner, I hope that's alright?' Alison smiled over at her while Claire made a joke about Imogen's life choices and they and Olivia and Ruth began to chat.

'Oh. Yes, thank you that's lovely Alison.' She smiled.

'Good, Derek said you liked pretty much anything.'

'Oh.' Meredith blushed.

'In a good way.' Derek cut in. 'You're not fussy.'

'True.' She giggled slightly at the way he was grinning at her.

'Unless it's healthy- then she isn't interested.'

'Shut up.' Meredith laughed.

'No.' he grinned at her.

They sat for another hour, chatting. But Meredith was mostly listening, listening to Derek's sisters talking and laughing around them. She liked Claire, from listening to them Claire was her favourite so far. Mark had said she was stuck up, but Meredith really liked her. She liked Olivia too- and Derek was right she was definitely ditzy. She was funny. Like Izzie times ten. And then Imogen, who was surprisingly a friendly face when she initially walked into what felt like a lion's den. Lara and Jake seemed really nice too. They were obviously in love and Lara was sat casually on his lap, her legs now over the arm of the couch. It was nice. They were nice. They were all nice.

It made sense that Derek came from this family, because they were all so nice. And Derek was right next to her. She couldn't help but watch him as he laughed and joked with his sisters. He laughed and smiled and mocked them, just like he did when they were alone and she couldn't stop watching him. His eyes were sparkling and he looked so relaxed. His arm was still around the top of the couch around her and she felt good. She wasn't expecting to feel good but she did.

When they sat around the very large dinner table, she was sat again in between Mark and Derek, with Alison at the head of the table between Mark and Olivia. She was sat opposite Imogen, who was sat next to Ruth, who faced Derek. Jake was on the other side of Derek as Lara sat at the head of the table and Claire next to Ruth.

'This smells delicious mom.' Smiled Jake.

'Why thank you dear.' Alison smiled.

'It really does.' Mark grinned.

'Thank you. Who wants to say Grace?' she said casually.

'Derek.' Said Imogen.

'How did I know that was coming.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'come on Der.' Laughed Olivia.

'Why me?'

'Come on, Derek.' Laughed Lara.

'Mark.' Derek said, looking past Meredith to his brother. 'I think it's your turn this time.'

'Like God would ever listen to anything Mark had to say.' Claire said flatly and Meredith couldn't help but giggle.

'I heard that Grey.'

'Sorry.' She laughed.

'Claire's right though.' Said Derek, nudging Meredith slightly, turning to smile at her.

'Okay, okay, I'll say Grace.' Sighed Mark. 'Just to prove a point.'

'Thank you, Mark.' Smiled Alison.

'Dear God may we thank you for this food, our family and friends, our health and our wonderful mother. Amen.'

'Amen.' Everyone said in union, before immediately grabbing for food.

'So Derek,' said Lara, her mouth full of garlic bread. 'Tell us about your girlfriend.'

'Oh.' Said Derek, and she could feel him tensing next to her. And she felt her own stomach sink.

'What's she called, Rose?' asked Imogen, her mouth also full of garlic bread.

'Girls please don't talk with your mouths full.' Alison shook her head.

'Sorry Ma.'

'That's okay.'

'So come on Der.' Prodded Olivia. 'We wanna know.'

'Yes, she's called Rose.' Derek nodded.

'We need more than that.' Said Imogen. 'We've only known about her for three weeks and Ma wont tell us anything.'

'Yeah,' said Olivia. 'Where is she from? Is she a freshman? What does she major in?'

'It's like the Spanish Inquisition.' Derek groaned.

'You didn't seriously think you could get a new girlfriend and think we wouldn't ask twenty questions.' Claire rolled her eyes.

'Fine,' he sighed. 'Her name is Rose, she's from Seattle, she's majoring in premed like us and yes she is a freshman.'

'Seattle, huh.' Nodded Imogen. 'Isn't that where you're from Meredith.'

'Of course it is.' Said Lara. 'Her mom's at Seattle Grace.'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith nodded, forgetting Derek's sisters knew about her mom.

'We can talk about that later.' Said Claire. 'I wanna know about Rose.'

'There's not really much to tell.' Shrugged Derek.

'What do you mean?' said Lara. 'You guys haven't broken up or had a fight or something have you?'

'No.' he frowned. 'But there's just…. She's nice. She's really nice.'

'You're rubbish. I knew you weren't going to be all for giving details but "she's nice", Derek, you can do better than that.'

'She is!' he laughed.

'Mark- what's she like?' Said Imogen.

'Bambi eyes.' He said, taking a drink.

'Bambi eyes?' said Claire.

'Yeah she has these big eyes that go all goo goo gaga over him.'

'Okay, well that was descriptive, thanks Mark.' Said Lara sarcastically.

'She does! And she's totally conjoined to his hip.' Said Mark.

'She is not.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Dude, she is.'

'Whatever.'

'I'm assuming you've met her, Mer?' said Imogen. 'What's she like?'

'Oh.' She said, and she could feel Alison's eyes on her. 'She's nice.'

'If Meredith likes her then I guess that's a good sign.' Nodded Olivia.

'I don't know her that well.' Meredith said nervously. 'But, she seems nice and she makes Derek happy so…. Yeah, she's nice.'

'No offence Derek but it isn't looking good if all anyone can describe her as is "nice" and "bambi eyes".' Said Lara.

'She is nice!' said Derek.

'Girls, leave your brother alone.' Said Alison gently, offering Meredith a small smile.

'But I wanna know.' Pouted Imogen. 'Is she funny? Is she smart?'

'Of course she's smart she got into Dartmouth.' Countered Derek. 'And she makes me laugh.' He said rather unconvincingly.

'Why didn't she come, Der?' said Claire.

'Too afraid of us.' Laughed Olivia.

'I wouldn't blame her.' Jake muttered.

'Shut up.' Liv rolled her eyes. 'You love us.'

'I didn't ask her.' Derek shrugged.

'Why not?'

'Because I didn't want to.'

'I know you say we're a lot but you can't hide your girlfriend from us forever.' Said Lara.

'We've only been dating two months.'

'Yeah so you should be all over her, not leaving her at college for the weekend.'

'Can you stop now?' Derek groaned.

'We aren't doing anything.' Liv shrugged.

'Yes, you are.'

'We're only asking, God Derek.'

'Claire Isabella language please.' Warned Alison.

'Sorry ma.'

'She's nice and I'm sure you'll all meet her one day. But I wanted to spend this weekend with you guys and Mer.'

'Mom, you can tell us about her now.' Said Lara.

'She seemed like a sweet girl.' Alison nodded.

'Sweet?' Claire grimaced. 'I never had you down for sweet girls Der.'

'What- you thought I'd date monsters?' he taunted.

'Shut up, you know that's not what I meant.'

'She seemed a sweet girl, and if your brother is happy I think you should all leave him alone.' Alison said gently.

'Mer we are so gonna need details later.' Said Imogen.

'Oh.'

'Just because Derek wont tell us anything, he doesn't understand girls need to know things.' Claire laughed.

'Right.' Meredith tried to laugh back.

'So, can we ask her about her mom now?' said Lara to Derek.

'No.' he shook his head.

'Derek… it's okay.' Meredith nodded. Not that it was, but she didn't want to talk about Rose for another second.

'Okay, but- she's not a zoo animal.' He stared at Lara and Olivia.

'Well that's insulting.' Olivia pouted. 'What do you think we're going to do- pounce?'

'Yes.'

'You give us no credit, Derek.' Lara rolled her eyes. 'So Mer, she's like actually your mom? Like gave birth to you from the womb?'

'Yes.' Meredith laughed.

'What's it like being medically royal?' said Olivia, her eyes lighting up.

'I don't think I'm medically royal.' Meredith laughed.

'I think you are.' Lara countered. 'She did a conference at Columbia the year before I started, I'm so sad I didn't get to see it.'

'She does them all the time.' Meredith nodded. 'I'm sure she'll do another one soon.'

'We actually did a paper on her last semester.' Jake nodded.

'Yeah, I think she's on the syllabus in most surgical classes.' Olivia nodded.

'Probably.' Meredith nodded.

'So are you like super smart?'

'Oh, no.'

'You are smart.' Derek frowned.

'Yeah but no more than you or anyone else at Dartmouth.'

'We're joint top in our biology class.' Said Derek proudly. 'So she is super smart.'

'Trust you to have aligned yourself with Ellis Grey's daughter.' Lara laughed. 'Have you met her?'

'Me?' Derek asked.

'Yes you, dumbass. I'm assuming Meredith's met her since she was raised by her.'

'No. I have not.'

'You have to tell us when you do. Does she sign autographs?' Olivia asked excitedly. 'Could you get her to sign my text book?'

'No and no.' Derek shook his head.

'Derek you really are being no fun tonight.' Groaned Claire.

'I'm not asking Meredith's mom for an autograph for you.' He shrugged.

'Derek don't act like you don't want one.' Olivia protested.

'I don't. She's Mer's mom, it's weird.'

'You're weird.' Said Imogen, sticking out her tongue.

'Shut up.' He groaned, but his mouth couldn't help smiling, sharing a knowing look with his youngest sister.

'Can you like, tell her?' Said Olivia. 'How big fans we are of her work?'

'Sure.' Nodded Meredith.

'Thanks.' Derek's sister grinned.

'No problem.' She smiled. 'Dinner is lovely, thank you Alison.'

'Oh you're very welcome dear.'

'It's really good, ma.' Nodded Derek.

'Thank you, Derek.'

'Have you had a nice birthday?' he asked, finishing the food on his plate.

'I have indeed, all my children together.' She smiled.

'What did you do this morning?' Derek asked.

'Not much,' she shook her head. 'We sat in the garden for a while, when it was warmer.'

'That sounds nice.'

'It was, dear.'

'When are you guys going back, Der?' said Claire.

'Tomorrow night, think our flights at eight?' he glanced at Mark.

'Yep.'

'And then when do you come home after finals? You guys finish really late.'

'Well, finals finish on the twentieth but I'm not sure when I'm coming back.'

'What do you mean?' frowned Olivia.

'I might not come home as soon as we finish. We have the dorm for another few weeks.'

'I don't get it.' Said Imogen, after also finishing her food. 'What are you staying for?'

'Well I don't know when Mer's leaving yet.' He turned to her.

'Oh, me neither.' She shook her head.

'You're seriously saying you might not be coming back for like six weeks?' said Imogen.

'I'm saying I don't know yet.' He shrugged. 'Mer lives in Seattle it's not exactly close.'

'She can always come stay here for a while.' Said Claire. 'Right mom?'

'Of course she can, but I don't think it's any of our business. They obviously haven't decided what they're doing yet.'

'But it's summer.' frowned Olivia.

'I'm not going to be away all summer,' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Can't believe you're ditching us.' Pouted Imogen.

'I'm not.' Derek groaned. 'Why did I even come back if you're just going to insult me all night?'

'For your mother's birthday.' Alison smiled. 'And I do appreciate it.'

'I know, Ma.' He smiled.

'You two just figure out what you're doing and let us know when you're ready.' She smiled to him and Meredith.

'Anyway, Der.' Said Lara. 'If Mer and Rose both live in Seattle surely you can kill two birds with one stone and go visit.'

'I know.' Derek nodded.

'You don't…. you can come back, Derek. If you want…' she said, feeling herself beginning to ramble, which is not what she wanted in front of Derek's family at all. 'You… you can come back… to your sisters… I'll be fine… you don't have to wait with me until I get picked up… you can go home… if you want to.'

'No, Mer.' He said gently. 'I want to stay with you.'

'You don't have to….' She said nervously.

'I want to.' He smiled and her heart almost burst.

'Okay.' She whispered.

'See what you've done guys,' Derek groaned. 'Leave us alone.'

'Whatever.' Claire groaned. 'Mom what's for dessert?'

 _Thank you for reading! Please review X_


	23. Chapter 23

Imogen watched from her spot on the floor across the room as her brother sat with his best friend, his arm around her shoulder loosely, talking quietly to each other and not partaking in the conversations going on around them. She watched and wondered what Derek's girlfriend would think if she were here. And she wondered if Derek was really as dumb as she thought he was right now. Meredith was laughing, about something he had said to her and he was sat with a hopeless look on his face as he watched her giggle, his eyes not straying from her face once.

When she had visited Dartmouth, she had naturally had her suspicions about Meredith and Derek after finding her in Derek's bed, despite their denial- along with Mark's. She had been in his bed, in his single bed with him. And she had worn his jacket when he was cold. She wasn't sure what was going on over in Hanover, but she did know that her brother was a douche if he could think he could fool any of them into thinking he was in love with his girlfriend. Not when Meredith was sat right there.

She was tiny, she was very tiny and very polite but she was obviously nervous. She had been nervous when she and Alison had gone to visit and it didn't seem like that had gone away. She was quite happy to just be sat with Derek, though, on the two man couch very much looking like a couple.

She continued to watch as he pushed a piece of hair behind Meredith's ear while she was talking when her own thoughts were interrupted.

'He's totally into her, right.' Olivia said, leaning behind her.

'You noticed too?' she breathed, turning to her sister who was also watching the pair.

'Hard not to.'

'He hasn't stopped looking at her all night.' Joined in Ruth.

'I don't get it.' Said Imogen, eyeing her brother. 'What is he doing with a girlfriend?'

'I don't know.' Olivia shook her head.

'You think she's into him too?' she said hopefully.

'Im, open your eyes.' Laughed Olivia quietly. 'She's totally into him.'

'Then I don't get what's going on.'

'Me neither.' Her sister sighed. 'He really is as stupid as we thought.'

'She might not be real.' She suggested.

'The girlfriend?'

'Uh-huh. Rose.'

'But Mom's met her.' Olivia pointed out.

'True.' Imogen sighed.

'You don't think….' Said Ruth. 'Never mind.'

'What?' said both Imogen and Olivia at the same time.

'That they…. His girlfriend should be worried?'

'What do you mean?' frowned Olivia.

'You think he's cheating?' gasped Imogen.

'I don't… he doesn't seem like the type of guy, but they just look…. I don't know.' Ruth shrugged.

'I know.' Imogen nodded.

'What's going on down there?' said Mark, turning the room's attention to the three young girls.

'Girl talk.' Laughed Olivia.

'More like sisterly gossip.' Laughed Alison.

'Do you want another drink, ma?' said Mark, picking up his mother's glass.

'Oh, go on then dear.'

'Port?'

'Seeing as it's my birthday.' She smiled.

'I need a drink too.' Said Imogen, standing up and following her brother into the kitchen. 'What's going on?' she said, after shutting the door behind them.

'What?' said Mark, clueless as he unscrewed the bottle lid.

'Hello- with Meredith and Derek looking at each other like they want to rip each other's clothes off!'

'Oh, that.'

'Yes, that.'

'They're totally into each other.'

'Well thank you for that Captain obvious.'

'What?'

'What's going on?'

'What do you mean?'

'Why does Derek have a girlfriend when he is totally into Meredith.'

'Because he's too blind to see that she's totally into him too.'

'What?' she said in disbelief. 'She's like…. She looks at him like he's her world.'

'He is.'

'Then what is wrong with him?'

'Same thing that's wrong with her. They're both blind.'

'Wait- so they've both told you that they're into one another?'

'Well, not exactly. Derek's told me he's in love with her and Meredith…. Meredith's just obviously in love with him too.'

'But she's not said it?'

'No but come on Imogen you've seen it for your own eyes, she totally digs your brother.'

'So what am I missing?'

'Huh?'

'How are they both that blind? Does she not see the way he looks at her?'

'She sees the fact that he's got a girlfriend.'

'Oh.'

'Grey's totally into him, but would you really think someone liked you if they started dating someone else?'

'True.' She sighed. 'But why doesn't she tell him?'

'She thinks he doesn't like her, just like he thinks the same about her.'

'Wha- how can they not see that they like each other?'

'Don't ask me.' Mark shrugged. 'We all know at Dartmouth.'

'Other people noticed too?' Imogen breathed, secretly swooning at how in love her brother and his best friend must be.

'Im, you've seen them together for a few hours, try months.'

'They're always like this?' she smiled.

'Normally worse.' Mark nodded.

'Like what?' her eyes lit up.

'This is weird.'

'What?'

'You, wanting to know about him and her. It's weird.'

'I'm his sister and I like her.' She pouted. 'And they're really cute.'

'They're not even a thing.'

'They will be.'

'Im, I get you're championing the cause and all that, we all are. But don't get your hopes up too soon. He's been seeing Rose for almost two months now.'

'What's she really like?'

'Annoying.' He answered honestly, and she laughed.

'Really?'

'Yeah. She's not that bad, I guess. But… we all want him with Mer so we have a natural bias.'

'I agree.' She nodded. 'So, tell me. What are they like?'

'Well, before he started seeing Rose she practically lived in our dorm.'

'She doesn't anymore?'

'How would you feel about another girl sleeping in your boyfriends bed.'

'Oh.'

'Exactly.'

'So she stayed over?'

'And he stayed at hers. Cooked her dinner every night, he still does sometimes. They had class together, studied together, practically spent every waking moment together.'

'And now he has a girlfriend?'

'Yep.'

'How long as he been in love with her?' she asked quietly after she'd gotten herself a drink.

'Pretty much forever.' Mark laughed.

'That's so sad.' Imogen whispered.

'Don't get your panties in a bunch I'm sure they'll work it out eventually.'

'Can't you just tell the other one how they feel?'

'Me?'

'Yes, you.'

'Hell no.'

'Mark!'

'No.'

'Please!'

'Remind me again why you're Derek's favourite.'

'That wasn't nice.'

'Leave them. Honestly. He's not falling in love with Rose any time soon.'

'But what if she meets someone?' The young girl pouted.

'Trust me, Grey only has eyes for Shep, it's quite pathetic actually.'

'Shut up. You're just jealous of them.'

'Yeah.' Mark rolled his eyes. 'Totally jealous of him treating her like crap.'

'Wha- Mark, he may be stupid but he obviously isn't meaning to hurt her if he loves her.'

'I know that. But a few weeks ago- he was treating her like crap and she was still head over heels for him.'

'How did he treat her like crap?' she frowned.

'Basically ignored her for Rose. Hey, I get it he was trying to go cold turkey and move on but he hurt her.'

'If he didn't know she loved him.' Imogen shrugged.

'He would still know she's his best friend who has severe issues and pretty much only trusts him. It was a dick move. Even if he didn't know- she's still his best friend.'

'But they're better now?'

'Seems like it.' Mark nodded as the kitchen door opened and Alison walked in.

'I was wondering why my drink was taking so long.' She laughed. 'Now I can see, you two having a nice catch up.'

'Yeah, Mark's just been filling me in.' said Imogen, aware of the open door and moving to shut it.

'Oh, on what?' their mother asked, taking her drink from Mark and leaning against the counter.

'Meredith and Derek.'

'Oh.'

'You can see it, right mom?' she said hopefully.

'I don't think it's best we discuss it.' Alison said carefully.

'So you do?' Imogen raised her eyebrows.

'Of course I do, a fool would be blind not to.'

'And they're both fools.' Said Mark.

'So what was Rose actually like, Ma?'

'She was sweet, as I said.'

'Does he look at her the way he looks at Meredith?'

'Imogen Sofia.' Her mother warned.

'Please ma.' He daughter begged.

'No.' she shook her head. 'He doesn't.'

'I knew it.' Imogen said contently.

'They need to get their heads out their asses already.' Said Mark, taking a swig of beer.

'Mark Jeremy who gave you alcohol?'

'It's only one ma.' He smiled before Imogen swatted his arm.

'Mom we all know they drink, can you tell us more about your visit please.'

'Imogen, it's their business not ours.'

'But they're in love!'

'Keep your voice down.' Said Mark.

'Ma, has he told you he loves her?'

'No.' she shook her head.

'But he's told Mark?'

'He told you?' Alison breathed.

'Not so much told, more slipped out when I was giving him shit about her.'

'You gave him shit about her?' Imogen giggled.

'Of course I did. We're all team Grey.'

'And he said he loves her?' breathed Alison.

'He did.'

'What is he doing with that girl?'

'He thinks Grey doesn't like him.'

'He's stupid.' Said Imogen.

'Hey- he might be blind but he's not deaf. She's told him she doesn't believe in love hundreds of times. What's he supposed to think.'

'She said that to me, too.' Alison breathed.

'She's spoken to you about this?' Imogen gasped.

'Yes, me and Meredith have spoken about this.'

'What did she say? Did she say she loves him?'

'Imogen, it's not for me to repeat.'

'So she did.' Imogen grinned.

'I never said that. And you need to keep your mouth shut young lady.'

'Fine.' Imogen rolled her eyes.

'I think Rose knows she loves him too.' Said Mark slowly.

'Oh no.' Alison shook her head. 'That isn't fair. On either of the girls.'

'I know.' Mark nodded.

'The poor girl must feel awful.'

'I don't know.' Sighed Mark. 'I think she thinks she has one over on her. Because he's going out with her and not Meredith and anyone can see how hurt she is by it.'

'That's horrible.'

'I know, Ma. But of course Rose thinks he loves her when she's his girlfriend and Meredith's….not.'

'Hmmmm.' His mother nodded, as the kitchen door opened once again, this time Derek, with Meredith behind him, tugging her hand.

'Is there a secret party going on in here that we weren't aware of?' he laughed, letting go of Meredith's hand to place their empty glasses on the counter.

'Of course not.' His mother smiled. 'These two were chatting and I came to get my drink.'

'Lemonade, Mer?' Derek smiled to her from the fridge.

'Oh, yes. Please.' She nodded from her position next to Alison.

'How are you getting on dear?' Alison turned to her. 'We've not overwhelmed you too much, have we?'

'Oh, no.' Meredith smiled. 'It's been really nice, thank you for having me.'

'You are always welcome dear.'

'There you go, Mer.' Said Derek, handing her drink to her before moving to lean against the counter with them, his body instinctively going behind Meredith's slightly, and Imogen could have sworn his free hand was gently resting on her hip.

'What do you want to do tomorrow, ma? We don't leave until late.' Said Mark.

'If the weather's nice we could always go on a walk?'

'That sounds good.' Imogen nodded.

'We could have a picnic.' Suggested Derek.

'That would be lovely.' Smiled Alison.

'So what do you do next year about residence, Der?' said Imogen. 'Do you stay in the same dorm?'

'Oh, no. We get a new place, we can go off campus but we've applied to stay on. Only in a 4 bed so Tim and Dexter can live with us too.'

'That sounds good.' She smiled.

'What about you Mer, are you staying with your room mate?'

'Oh, no.' Meredith shook her head.

'No?' Derek said, obviously unaware.

'Sarah's living with Dan.' She said gently, turning to him.

'Oh.'

'So I'm living with Izzie and Crisitina.'

'Oh.'

'Are they your friends?'

'Yeah, Crisitna's in my chemistry, and Izzie does premed too.'

'You didn't tell me you were living with Crisitna.' Derek said.

'I didn't think it mattered.' Meredith shrugged.

'Hmmmm.'

'What are you making the noise for?' Meredith raised her eyebrows.

'Nothing.' He shook his head.

'Derek, you made the noise.'

'I just think… after what happened, you know.'

'What happened?' said Imogen.

'You're so nosey.' Taunted Mark.

'Shut up.'

'Oh, nothing.' Meredith blushed slightly.

'She wasn't very nice to Mer.'

'Derek!'

'What? She wasn't.'

'But it's okay now.'

'I don't want her upsetting you again.'

'If she's going to upset me, she'll upset me, it won't make any difference if I live with her or not.'

'Hmmmm.'

'Would you stop it with the noise?'

'I'm just looking out for you.' He said quietly, and Imogen could see his eyes darting from Meredith's eyes and lips.

'I know.' She responded quietly. 'I appreciate it.'

'Since when did we all relocate to the kitchen?' said Olivia, standing in the door way.

'We didn't.' Alison laughed.

'It seems like it.'

'Come on, let's go back into the living room.' Alison announced, walking out, Mark following her as Imogen watched her brother run his hand up Meredith's arm and rest on her waist, whispering something to her before they too, went back into the living room.

 _Thank you for reading and please review! Hardly anybody is which makes me sad... but I dont think the email alerts are working so I'm not sure how many of you even know I'm updating. I'm trying to write like a fiend to get you to the place I know you all want us to be at. (I have just written it- so you definitely do not have long to wait! But I like to be at lease one chapter ahead of you guys, so I cant post it until I have written the next chapter. But I'm hoping it's going to be with you really soon!)_


	24. Chapter 24

_Hi guys! Thank you for your reviews on the last few chapters I'm glad you're liking where it's going. Before you tell me to hurry up and get them together already again- I won't keep you in suspense and tell you this is the last chapter before you get what you want;)_

 _I'm trying really hard to finish the update I am working on tonight so that I can post the next chapter for you, because if I don't it's unlikely you will get it before friday (I have a college assignment for thursday that I haven't started... so this week is going to be pretty busy for me). But *hopefully* I can have the next one with you tonight!_

'Okay, okay try again.' Derek laughed, moving a little further back on the bed.

'Okay, go!' she laughed, moving as he threw the candy in the air.

'You suck!' he laughed as she missed it again, laughing as she picked it up and ate it anyway.

'Shut up.'

'You suck!'

'Okay, your go.' She giggled, picking one out of the bag herself. Throwing it gently into his open mouth, as he pumped his fists in the air.

'Yes!' he laughed.

'Fluke.' She giggled.

'Fluke? You wanna bet?'

'Uh-huh.' She grinned.

'Bring it, Meredith Grey. Hit me again.'

'Okay.' She said, reaching into the bag. 'Ha!' she said as it hit him in the eye. 'Now you suck.'

'You threw it in my eye!' he protested.

'I did not!'

'Yes, you did! That was your fault not mine.'

'You just can't take that you suck as much as I do.'

'Hey I've done three now and you've done one.'

'We've been doing this for forty minutes, Derek. I think we both suck.' She laughed.

'Shut up.' He smirked, throwing another candy at her.

'That was awful aim!' she said after almost falling on the floor trying to catch it.

'Whatever- you just can't take that you suck.' He mocked.

'I don't like you.' She laughed.

'Whatever.' He said, settling against her pillows.

'That was fun.' She sighed, lying next to him, their bodies almost touching but not quite.

'it was.' He agreed.

'I'm not sure if I like these though.' She made a face, picking the candy bag up.

'Well, you ate enough of them.' He laughed.

'Still don't like them.' She winced.

'Me neither.'

'You bought them!'

'I'd never had them before, don't blame me.'

'You picked them.'

'Rose said they were nice! Not my fault they turned out to be disgusting.' He laughed.

'It is.' She teased.

'Not.'

'Is.'

'Not.'

'Is too.' She giggled, throwing her cushion at her.

'Oh you really wanna go there?' he laughed, picking it up from the spot next to him on the bed where it landed.

'Maybe I do.'

'Well,' he said, kneeling up and hitting her gently. 'You're gonna regret it.'

'Whatever.' She giggled, pushing him away as he swat her again. She looked so cute giggling underneath him, her leg pushing against his abdomen as his cell went off.

'One second.' He said, reaching over to Meredith's bedside table, opening it to a text from Rose.

-where are you? X

-Meredith's, everything okay? X

-Oh. Yeah, I'm good just wondered if you wanted to hang out? X

-I said I'd spend today with Mer, but I'll see what time I'm done and call you later? X

-Sounds good X

'Everything okay?' she asked, sitting up and crossing her legs.

'Yeah.' He smiled, pushing his cell back in his pocket and moving next to her.

'Are we still studying together tomorrow?' she asked.

'Yeah if you want to.' He nodded. 'I have class in the morning but I'm free from 2.'

'Okay well I have class till three, so meet you in the library at ten past?'

'Sure.'

'I'm stressed about this one.' She sighed.

'Don't be.' He reassured her. 'Bio is your best class.'

'Yeah but this module is the hardest one.'

'And you're still gonna ace it.'

'You have to say that.' She rolled her eyes.

'No I don't. Would you say I'll ace it even if you think I wont.'

'But you will.' She frowned.

'Exactly, so will you.'

'Hmmmmm.'

'You're making my noise.' He smirked.

'I am not.'

'Yes you are.' He laughed. 'I'm rubbing off on you.'

'Too much.' She rolled her eyes.

'Maybe we've been spending too much time together.' He laughed.

'Maybe we have.' She teased.

'I've enjoyed it though,' he said slightly more seriously. 'We've been more back to normal recently.'

'Me too.' She smiled sincerely. 'I missed you… but you're back.'

'I'm back.' He mirrored her smile.

'Officially.'

'Good to know I'm back in your good books.' He teased, poking her in the stomach lightly.

'You were never not in my good books.' She laughed softly.

'Really?'

'Really.' She nodded. 'I was upset but I get it.'

'I don't want you to be upset.'

'Well I'm not anymore, because you're back.' She smiled.

'I am. Have you had any updates on you mom and going home?'

'No.' she sighed. 'I don't think she even really cares. She's probably forgotten when we finish anyway.'

'So what do you want to do?'

'I don't know.' She sighed. 'I really don't want to keep you from your family, Derek.'

'You're not.' He insisted. 'Ignore Imogen, and the others. They're just… whiny. And annoying. They're probably just already bored without me. Anyway, it would be nice to stay. Even if it's just for a week, us two hanging out without the guilt of not studying.'

'True.' She laughed. 'You tell me when you want to leave and I'll just arrange to go home then, it's not like she's going to ask any questions anyway.'

'A week? And then maybe…. If you wanted…. You could come to the house for a week with me? And I could bring you back for when the driver comes to pick you up.'

'Oh… I-'

'I'd like you to, Mer. I… my family like you. And I could show you New York, it could be fun.'

'It…. Are you sure?'

'Unless you don't want to.'

'No, no. I want to… that sounds fun.' She smiled.

'Great.' He grinned. 'I'll let mom know.'

'Do you wanna watch the episode we got half way through on Tuesday?' she asked, scrambling to turn her TV on.

'Sounds good. You might have to remind me what happened though.'

'It was pretty boring.' She giggled, settling back against him. 'Jack was on that case with the mother and the daughter.'

'Ohhhhh, and Amelia was on the case with that redhead she doesn't like?'

'That's the one she nodded, pressing play.'

'This show is so bad it's good.' He laughed.

'I know.' She agreed, tucking her head in between his neck and shoulders, her arms wrapped around her own waist.

He lay there watching the show they had grown to love in the last few weeks, laughing when she laughed, feeling her breath on his neck as her head was nuzzled into his shoulder. He was happy. He was so happy when he was with her. She was unlike anyone he had ever met and she made him feel like nothing he had ever felt before. He should probably call Rose but he couldn't bring himself to move from where he was, she felt so content next to him and he couldn't ruin that. He didn't want to ruin that. He would give anything, anything to not be in love with her right now. Actually, that was a lie. He couldn't help being in love with her. He would do anything for her to believe in love, give him a chance. Although a girl like her wouldn't like a guy like him anyway. He was geeky and she was hot. She went out every night and hooked up with hot guys. Well, she used to.

He lay there for another couple of hours, until she stopped laughing when he did. He turned to see her eyes closed and her mouth hanging slightly open, the tiniest of snores coming out. He smiled to himself and moved her gently so that he could put his arms around her. He hadn't held her in so long. When they had stayed at his mom's, she had slept in his bed and he had slept on the couch. It felt so good to hold her tiny frame in his arms again, resting his hands on her waist, just underneath her breasts. He ran his hand gently down to her abdomen and drew tiny circles there with his thumb. He nestled his nose into her hair which smelt of lavender as always. He pulled her even closer if that was possible and gently slipped one hand underneath her sweater, his hand making contact with her bare skin. He rested it on her abdomen and pressed a kiss to her neck.

No matter how much he tried not to love her, no matter how much he tried to feel something comparable with Rose, he just couldn't. She was Meredith and he loved her. He loved her in a way he'd never loved anybody- a way he didn't think it was possible to even love. He believed in true love, and soulmates, and even he couldn't have predicted the love he felt for his best friends who was now snoring louder in his arms. He shut his own eyes and relished in the contentment of being this close to her once again. He pressed another kiss to her neck before moving his lips to her cheek, kissing her softly. Her skin was so soft and he trailed light kisses back to her neck, knowing he should stop but he couldn't. She was perfect. She was absolutely p-

-Where are you it's 9, Derek X

His cell buzzed.

-Still at Mer's, sorry going to have to rain check X

-How about tomorrow? X

-I'm studying with Mer in the afternoon, but we could do dinner? X

-ok

-Rose

-What?

-What's wrong? X

-Are you serious?

-I'm sorry I cancelled X

-For Meredith, again.

-Rose, she's my best friend X

-Yeah that's become pretty clear

-I'm not going to do this over cell X

-fine

He sighed before typing a final message.

-I am sorry X

But he wasn't sorry. He put his cell back on the table and moved back over to Meredith, readopting their original position.

When they woke up in the morning, Meredith was comfy in her sweats and he was still in his jeans and button down. It might not have been the most comfortable night ware but he slept the best he had in a long time. Holding her really was the best feeling in the world. He kissed her neck before she stirred.

'Der?' she breathed, turning in his arms.

'Hey.' He grinned.

'What are you doing here?' she smiled, his arms still resting around her back.

'You fell asleep on me.' He smiled.

'Oh, sorry.' She blushed.

'Don't be. I didn't want to wake you.'

'Oh.' She breathed.

He had ran back to his dorm in his dirty clothes before showering and heading to physics, where Rose was waiting outside the hall.

'Hey.' He said nervously.

'Hi.'

'Look, Rose, about last night-' he began before the class started to file in. 'About last night,' he continued as they sat down. 'I'm sorry.'

'Whatever, Derek.'

'I really am. I lost track of time.'

'Right.' She nodded.

'Rose, please don't be like this.'

'I'm not like anything, Derek.'

'You're mad.'

'Do you blame me? First you take her home to see your family, then you start blowing me off for her, Derek you see her enough.'

'She's my best friend.' He frowned.

'And you're my girlfriend.'

'I split my time between you fairly.' He pouted.

'Right.'

'Don't act like you would be pissed the same if she were a boy.'

'Maybe I wouldn't. Because it wouldn't be nowhere near as inappropriate.'

'Inappropriate? Rose nothing is going on between me and Meredith.'

'That's not the point, Derek.'

'Then what is the point.'

'The point is you spend too much time with her.'

'Excuse me?'

'Why couldn't you at least call me, Derek!'

'Meredith fell asleep!'

'She fell asleep? So you were in bed?'

'We were watching her tv and she fell asleep. Don't start accusing me of things.'

'Why couldn't you have left the room?'

'She was asleep on me I didn't want to wake her!'

'She was asleep on you?'

'Rose- it wasn't like that!'

'Then what was it like? Tell me.'

'She fell asleep on my shoulder. If I'd have moved her head would have fallen and she'd have woken up.'

'Something needs to change.' she sighed.

'Are you suggesting what I think you are?'

'And what would that be?' she shot him a sarcastic smile.

'That I stop seeing her.'

'Well done.'

'No.'

'Derek.'

'No. She is my best friend.'

'And I'm your girlfriend!'

'I know.'

'You can see her but I don't feel comfortable with you spending as much time with her as you are.'

'Rose that's-'

'She's pathetic and you don't even realise.'

'What?' he breathed defensively.

'Derek are you blind?'

'No.' he said indignantly. 'And she's my best friend so be careful what you say.'

'Derek everyone knows she's into you.' His girlfriend said casually.

'What?'

'Meredith. She's into you and she's desperate it's embarrassing.'

'What?' he repeated, unable to comprehend what Rose had just said. Meredith? Liked him? No she didn't. She didn't like anyone. She didn't believe in love. She did not love him. She was his best friend.

'Meredith. She follows you around like a lost puppy. You need to distance yourself before I tell her to back off and let her know you're not interested.'

'Not interested.' He repeated as the professor began to talk.

He stared at his paper. Meredith wasn't in love with him. She didn't have any feelings for him. She was Meredith. She didn't believe in love. It was the other way round, if anything. He followed her like a lost puppy and Rose was right it was inappropriate. It was inappropriate because he was madly, madly in love with her and he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop seeing her. He couldn't stop seeing her because she made his day a little bit brighter. Every time she giggled, his heart skipped a beat and he couldn't count the number of times he'd stopped himself brushing her lips with his own. He loved her and she didn't feel the same way. She couldn't.

He was freaking out. He was freaking out even though he didn't believe it was possible. But he did know that if he didn't at least tell Meredith he had to pretend to be spending less time with her otherwise Rose would tell her to back off. And if Rose told her to back off she would know something was up and she would know he was in love with her and she would freak out and shut down and he would lose her altogether. He couldn't lose her even if he couldn't love her.

When the bell rang, he kissed Rose goodbye quickly and told her he was headed for chemistry when he made his way to Meredith's dorm.

'Sarah?'

'Hey, Derek.'

'Hey, is Mer home?'

'Oh, no. She's in class.'

'Shit. I forgot.'

'Do you need me to pass her a message or anything?'

'Oh, no. It's okay, I'm seeing her later to study anyway.' He smiled.

'Okay. See you later.'

'Bye Sarah.' He smiled, walking slowly to his own dorm, giving up on chemistry.

He walked through the door and grabbed himself a beer despite it being only noon and slumped on the sofa. Reaching for the remote and turning on the Tv.

-Hey, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel later.

 _Great._

-No worries. Is everything okay?

-Yeah fine.

-Good. Saturday study session?

-Sure

-Great

He sighed taking another swig of his beer.

Thank you for reading! X


	25. Chapter 25

_Okay so I wont be able to update for a good few days now, but I got the next chapter done- so here you goooooo. I think this might just be what you've all been waiting for, so I hope it does not disappoint!_

Meredith sighed into what felt like her fifth hundred tequila and closed her eyes. She could do this. She had told herself she could do this so many times in the last month, but spending time with Derek as if she wasn't desperately in love with him was pretty difficult when she woke up with his arms around her, holding her close. He saw her as a friend, she knew that. If she were more than a friend he would be kissing her good morning and they'd probably have had sex before they'd gone to sleep. But they were just friends. He probably just fell asleep watching the movie too.

Her day hadn't gotten any better after she went to see Izzie and Cristina, who accidentally let slip that they saw Rose in the library with her friends. Discussing sex. Rose had been talking about sex with Derek. Obviously they had sex, they were in a relationship. But for some reason Meredith never really thought about it, and when she did it knocked her sick. Apparently Rose had said he was big. And skilled. And good. Urugh, she finished her tequila before asking the bartender for another one.

She had become so good at spending time with Derek even though it hurt to know he was with someone else, but today she just couldn't do it. It had been like a sweet torture waking up with him. His strong arms around her, making her feel so safe. But it took everything in her not to snuggle closer to him and kiss him. All she had wanted to do all day since she had woken up like that was kiss Derek. But she couldn't. So she cancelled their study session, he probably wouldn't mind because he could just go see Rose. If they'd have hung out, she'd probably have ended up crying or kissing him, neither of which were good situations. She was pathetic, she knew she was pathetic. But she didn't want Derek to think she was pathetic.

Great, she was crying. Tequila never usually made her cry, it made her horny. But the thought of going near any of the guys in the bar nauseated her, because they weren't Derek. She felt her cheeks wet and her shoulders began to shake slightly but she could not stop. She was crying over a boy and this wasn't okay. This wasn't her. She never needed anyone, but she needed Derek. She wiped at her eyes before taking a deep breath and ordering two more tequilas. Not that it did much good. Tears would not stop falling as she thought about him, probably having dinner with Rose, who would have no doubt ordered a salad. Or even worse, he could be in bed with Rose right now, kissing her and touching her the way she longed for him to do so to her. Rose didn't realise how lucky she was to kiss him, hold him, pleasure him. Derek was special and she wasn't sure if Rose really saw that.

He was smart and he was funny and he loved his family. He loved his family so much and it made her sad to think about him losing his dad. To think about him being so devastated made her heart hurt in places she didn't know it could. He took care of people and he always put others before himself and he was the most amazing person she had ever met. The tequila was messing with her brain as her thoughts ran wild about him. Brain boy had ruined her. His eyes were so blue and they sparkled when he smiled, and when he smiled his eyes had little crinkles that made her want to make him smile forever. His teeth were really white and his chin and jawline when he smiled made her heart stop. Not to mention his hair. His hair was so soft and so dark, and she couldn't stop thinking about running her fingers through it. Or pulling on his curls as they kissed. Or pulling on his curls as he went down on her. Stop. She had to stop. She was torturing herself. She was torturing herself and-

'Mer?'

Crap.

'Mer?' he said again, moving to put his arm gently on her shaking shoulder.

'Derek.' She breathed, not looking up from her glass that she was hunched over.

'Mer, what's wrong? Why are you crying?' he said, sitting at the stool next to her, leaning closer.

'Derek.' She shook her head, more tears falling down her face as she shrugged him off her.

'Mer what's wrong?' he repeated, still leaning close to her despite her breaking the body contact.

'Derek go away.' She whimpered.

'Mer, not until you tell me what's wrong.' He whispered, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She couldn't look at him because she could already tell he would have his big concerned eyes that gave her butterflies.

'No, Derek.' She shook her head. 'Go away.'

'Hey,' he soothed. 'I'm not going away. Now tell me what's wrong.'

'No.' she sniffled, still not looking at him.

'Has someone upset you? What have they done?'

'Derek leave me alone!' she cried.

'Mer I… I don't understand. Let me in.' he murmured, one again putting his arm on her shoulder. She caught her breath as his hand rubbed circles on her back and she squeezed her eyes tight, only for more tears to fall.

'Derek just go away.' She begged, moving out of his embrace.

'Wh… have I upset you? Is that why you didn't want to hang out today?'

'No. I just want you to go away.' She was practically sobbing now.

'Meredith I am not leaving you like this. Now tell me what's wrong.'

'No.'

'Meredith, I'm worried about you.'

'Derek, please.' She begged, finally turning to look at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and she pleaded with him.

'Oh Mer,' he whispered, leaning to gently cup her face, his thumb reaching to wipe a tear away.

'Derek, no!' she said, turning her face from him again. 'Leave me alone.'

'How many times, I am not leaving you alone. You are my best friend and you're crying on your own in a bar. I am not leaving you alone.'

'Please.' She begged.

'Meredith…' he said confused, and she could tell his eyes were even bigger now.

'Go find Rose.' She said, probably a little meaner than she intended.

'Wha- Mer, is this about Rose?'

'Go away Derek.'

'Mer if this is about Rose if she's said something to you-'

'Why would she say something to me?' she breathed, looking up.

'I… I don't.. she said she might say something to you and if she has and it's upset you then-'

'What would she say to upset me?' Meredith cried. 'What have you told her?'

'What- nothing Mer. Nothing.'

'Then what could she say to upset me?'

'Mer,' he sighed.

'Have you told her you hate me?'

'What?' he breathed, looking completely taken aback.

'Have you told Rose you hate me or something?'

'Of course not, Meredith, you're my best friend.'

She knew that, she knew she wasn't being rational she knew he didn't hate her and she knew she had hurt him by saying that. He was a good friend, the best friend. But she couldn't fall into his arms right now, he had to go.

'Whatever.' She said, turning back and finishing her tequila.

'Mer,' he breathed. 'I don't know how many of those you've had but I thinly you should-'

'Derek, go back to Rose.' She shot.

'Meredith stop saying that. If this is about Rose I think I've done a really good job recently of splitting my time between you two. I've really tried, Mer.'

'Derek, go away.'

'No.'

'Derek!' she cried. 'Will you please just go away I don't want to see you and I don't want to talk to you.'

'What have I done, Mer?' and he looked genuinely heartbroken. Great, she had done that. That was her fault.

'Nothing.' She sighed, turning to put her head in her hands at the bar, unable to control her sobs. 'You haven't done anything I just need you to go.'

'Mer you're not making any sense.' He whispered, going to touch her again before stopping himself.

'Derek.' She cried.

'What, Mer? Tell me what's wrong.' He soothed.

'Derek… I…' she couldn't stop her shoulders shaking and the tears falling. She knew everyone was probably looking at her but she couldn't stop.

'Hey, hey,' he breathed, pulling her into his arms. 'Mer, come here.' He rested his chin on her head as she moved to cry into his shirt, her hands making fists with it as she cried. 'Shhhhh.' He breathed. 'Just breathe. Just breathe.'

'I cant.' She cried even harder as he squeezed his arms around her.

'Come on, let me take you home.'

'No.' she said, pulling out of his arms.

'Mer.'

'You are not taking me home.' She shook her head.

'Mer you really need to go home.'

'Fine but I'm not going with you.'

'Me… Mer what have I done? Please don't sat it's me that's upset you like this. Mer, please don't cry.'

'Derek how many times do I have to ask you to leave me alone for you to actually leave me alone.'

'Meredith… I don't understand….'

'What?' she spat. 'You don't understand the words leave me alone or go away?'

'Meredith.' He breathed, his own eyes beginning to pool tears.

'Go find Rose.'

'I'm not here with Rose I'm here with the guys, and now I'm here with you.'

'Then go find them and leave me alone.'

'Mer.' He breathed, reaching to grab for her arm again before she pulled it back more forcefully this time.

'Don't touch me.'

'Meredith I… I'm not going to hurt you.' His voice wavered.

'Go away.' She said, before Mark appeared beside them.

'Everything okay?' he asked carefully, obviously having witnessed their conversation.

'Yes.' Said Meredith at the same time Derek said no.

'Okay, Grey I think it's time we take you home.'

'No.'

'Come on,' said Mark, moving to shift her into his arms. 'You need sleep.'

'I know.' She cried, leaning into his embrace.

'Mark…. What?' breathed Derek, looking at the way she was allowing Mark to hold her. But it was easier for Mark to hold her, because she felt nothing for him whatsoever.

'Shep, I'll take her home.'

'No.' he protested, moving closer. 'Mer, let me take you home.'

'No, Derek.'

'Meredith…'

'Shep, I've got it. I'll call you when I have her safely in bed.'

'No.' Derek said, and she could tell he was upset. 'I want to take her home.'

'Derek.' Mark shook his head. 'You're doing more harm than good right now. Let me take her home and she can sleep off the alcohol, you two can talk in the morning.'

'I've only had four, I'm not drunk.' She said indignantly.

'Then why are you pushing me away?' Derek breathed and she met his eyes for a split second before moving her own to the floor.

'Let's go.' She said to Mark, walking out with his arm around her shoulder, knowing she'd just left her best friend feeling hurt.

Mark got her inside and gave her some pyjamas before sending her into the bathroom to change. When she came back he'd gotten her some water and painkillers, and put them by her bed.

'Grey, are you okay?' he said as she sat on her bed, taking the first pill.

'I'm fine.'

'You're obviously not.'

'He has a girlfriend, Mark.' She said before putting the second pill into her mouth and swallowing. 'Of course I'm not fine.'

'You hurt him just now.' Mark said slowly.

'I know.' She said, her voice cracking. 'I know I hurt him and I feel like an ass, but I couldn't have him touch me or take me home, Mark. It hurts too much.'

'I know.' Mark whispered as there was a knock at the door. 'I'll get it, you get in bed.'

'Okay.' She said, wiping at her eyes and snuggling under the covers.

'Mer, I tried to stop him.' Came Marks voice as he and Derek walked into her room.

'Derek?' she asked, sitting up.

'Mer.' He breathed, looking her in the eye, probably noting how she'd obviously been crying even more.

'Mark you can go.' She whispered.

'Meredith I don't think-'

'Mark, it's okay.' She nodded. 'You can go.'

'Okay.' He nodded. 'Call me if you need me.'

'I will.' She smiled. 'Thanks.'

'Why would you need to ring Mark?' frowned Derek after Mark left, suddenly sounding pissed.

'He's my friend.' She shrugged.

'Is something going on between you two or something?'

'What? No. Why would you even think that?' she said defensively.

'It would make sense.' He shrugged.

'And what's that supposed to mean?' she said, feeling like she'd just been stabbed in the chest.

'Well, you both get around.'

She felt like he had just taken her heart and stamped on it. She couldn't believe he had just said that to her. He knew how insecure she felt about her reputation and he knew that she didn't sleep around anymore. He was the only one she trusted not to judge her.

'Get out, Derek.'

'No.'

'I cant believe you would think me and Ma-'

'Then what's going on?'

'Nothing's going on.'

'Really? Because you not letting me touch you or speak to you isn't normal. Mark took you home tonight, Meredith. _Mark._ '

'So?' she shrugged.

'So?' he mimicked. 'You don't see what's wrong with Mark being the one to take you home? What have I done, Meredith?'

'Derek how many times-'

'I know, I know, go away. You don't want to see me, I get it.'

Her stomach turned at the pain in his voice.

'What have I done between yesterday and today, Mer? Or even this morning and now? You were fine with me this morning.'

'Derek I don't want to talk about it.'

'Well I do.' He said, sitting on the bed, facing her.

'Derek.' She sighed, turning her head from him as she felt fresh tears stinging her eyes.

'Mer, please.' He begged, not at all sounding pissed. 'Please let me in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that about Mark. I didn't mean it, Mer. You know I didn't mean that.'

'I know.' She whispered. 'I can't, Derek.'

'Yes you can.' He said, his eyes searching hers. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be mean to him when he hadn't done anything wrong. She couldn't make him feel like a crap friend. She couldn't hurt him the way she so obviously was. She had to tell him. She had to tell him now otherwise he would think she was pissed at him and she wasn't. She wasn't pissed at him, the complete opposite.

'Derek,' she sighed, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

'Tell me, Mer. Whatever it is I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I'll make it up to you. I hate seeing you cry, and thinking that it's my fault makes me hate myself.'

'Don't.' she breathed, reaching for his hand. 'Don't hate yourself.'

He took her hand eagerly and she gave it a small squeeze.

'It's… it's complicated, Derek.'

'How? However complicated it is I know we can work through it, Mer. Please.'

'I…. you haven't done anything wrong.' She shook her head her voice wavering.

'Mer.' He whispered.

'You haven't done anything wrong, Derek. So please don't hate yourself.'

'Okay. But then why are you crying?' he said gently, running his thumb softly across the back of her hand.

'Because you have a girlfriend.' She whispered, looking away from him.

'Mer, I told you. I wont let a girlfriend ruin our friendship.'

'Derek-'

'I know I was crappy at first. I know I handled it badly and I'm sorry for that, Mer. I'm really really sorry I made you feel like I didn't care anymore. You're my best friend and-'

'Derek.' She repeated, looking up at him and tugging his hand. 'Shut up.' She whispered.

'What… I-'

'Derek I'm not upset because you're not spending time with me. You're spending loads of time with me. You're a really, really good friend. The best friend.'

'Then why are you so upset?'

'Because you have a _girlfriend_ , Derek.' She whispered, really hoping he would get it. Hoping she wouldn't have to spell it out for him.

'I don't understand….' He said, confused.

'You have a _girlfriend.'_ She whispered, silent tears falling. 'And I know, I know you would never like someone like me. I know that. I'm a whore and I eat junk food and I have issues, hell I have so many issues that no guy would like me. Let alone you. I've never done this before so I get…. I get that you'd never like me the way I like you… and I know you have a girlfriend and I know you love her and it makes me happy that she makes you happy…. But it doesn't mean it isn't hard for me to see you with her…. And know that you love her…'

'Meredith…' he breathed, his eyes widening.

'And I didn't want to tell you. I really didn't Derek…. Because you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you…. I don't want to lose you even if I can't love you like she can… being your friend is better than nothing at all… but I… it's hard, Derek…. So hard and I….'

'Meredith,' he repeated, taking her other hand in his and moving closer to her on the bed, forcing her to look up at him, her vision blurry from all the water in her eyes.

'I…. please don't leave, Derek… I know I know it's weird because I love you and now you know that you probably won't want to hang out with me and Rose will hate me… but please, Derek… I know you love her but I need you to still be my friend, I need you….'

'I don't love Rose.' He whispered, his face so close to hers she felt as if she was going to explode.

'Of course you do, Derek.' She breathed, feeling his breath on her face, making her hairs stand on edge.

'No, I don't.' he shook his head.

'She's your girlfriend.' She whispered, realising how small she sounded.

'She is.' He nodded. 'But she's not you.'

'What?' her eyes unable to leave his as he remained centimetres away from her face.

'You.' He breathed. 'I've been in love with you for…ever.' He began to smile gently.

'Derek,' she whispered, unable to move. She could not move. Derek had just told her he loved her. She had told him she loved him and she had sworn he was going to walk out or laugh at her. But instead he was in front of her, his lips close enough for her to kiss and he had said things. Big things. And she couldn't breathe.

'I love you, Mer.'

'I… you have a girlfriend….' Her head swam.

'You don't believe in love.' He countered.

'I….' she breathed, looking into his eyes and she couldn't help smiling. He was smiling at her and she couldn't help smiling.

'I love you.' He repeated.

'I love you too.' She sniffled as he leaned in slowly towards her. This was it. This was really happening. Derek was leaning in to kiss her. Suddenly she felt his lips brush against hers.

'Oh.' She breathed against his lips before responding and moving her own over his slowly.

'Mer,' he whispered, moving her into his arms as he kissed her again. Her head was spinning and her stomach was doing summersaults. She moved her hands to his curls just as she had thought of doing in the bar, her tongue moving against his lips lightly, looking for entrance into his mouth.

'Hmmmm.' He groaned, parting his lips and allowing her tongue to stroke his own softly. She couldn't believe this was happening. His tongue moved with her own and his arms seemed to tighten around her. She began to explore his mouth as one hand moved from the back of his neck to his cheek, holding his face as close to hers as possible. It was amazing. He was amazing.

'Mer,' he breathed again as they parted for air, before immediately ducking his lips back down to hers. He pulled her so she was on his lap and her entire body felt like it was on fire. Their tongues moved together and his arms ran up and down her sides gently. She couldn't stop. He was an amazing kisser and she could feel her body aching to have more of him. Derek was kissing her with his perfect lips and his perfect tongue and she did not want this to end.

'Derek,' she breathed, needing a breath, resting her forehead against his.

'Meredith.' He whispered, moving to press soft kisses on her cheek before moving them all over her face.

'Derek.' She repeated.

'Mer,' His kisses moved down to her neck and she tightened her arms around his neck.

'Derek.' She couldn't stop saying his name.

'Yes?' he asked, before capturing her lips again.

'Mmmmm.' She moaned, leaning into him, his tongue demanding entry to her. Which she immediately granted. She held his face in her hands as their lips caressed each others, their tongues soothing each other's. 'Oh…' she whispered as he pulled back slightly. 'Oh.'

'Meredith…'

'That was… wow… Derek..'

'Wow….' He whispered, grinning.

'Derek…'

'You… wow…'

'Derek.' She giggled as he still held her close.

'We kissed.'

'We kissed.' She smiled. 'With tongue.'

'With tongue.' He mirrored her grin.

'I…. that was great kissing.'

'It was.'

'Amazing… even.'

'Very amazing.'

'I like kissing you.'

'I like kissing you too.' He said as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, her head resting on his chest.

'Derek?' she whispered.

'Yes?' he said, placing a kiss on the top of her head and rubbing her back slowly.

'I…. Is this really happening?'

'I think so. I hope so.' He chuckled.

'Me too.' She whispered, squeezing him.

'I love you.'

'I've been in love with you… Derek… for a long time.' she murmured into his shirt.

'You have?'

'I think so.' She nodded, pulling herself up to look at him.

'I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you.'

'In the library?' she giggled, running her fingers through his hair.

'No, the first class of the semester.'

'Oh.'

'You were beautiful.'

'I… thanks…' she blushed.

'You are beautiful.' He whispered, leaning to kiss her gently.

'I think… I've never done this before Derek… but… I love you so much.' She whispered against his lips.

'I love you too.' He grinned, kissing her again.

'I… Rose, Derek.' She reminded him gently.

'Crap.'

'Are you sure… Derek? About me and Rose because she's-'

'I told you. She is not you. And you….' He trailed off. 'You are perfect.'

'I… I'm not Derek.'

'You are to me.'

'Oh.' She breathed, a tear making it's way down her face.

'I thought we'd stopped the crying.' He laughed gently, leaning to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb.

'This is happy crying.' She giggled, not being able to help as more tears fell.

'Good.' He smiled, wiping more away as she continued to sniffle. 'You don't need to cry.' He whispered.

'I know…' she whimpered. 'But Derek..'

'Mer,' he breathed, brushing her hair out of her face.

'I…. I never thought this would happen.'

'Me neither.'

'You're you…. And I'm me.'

'And you're you… and I'm me.' He laughed, trying to make her do the same.

'But you're you and you… I thought you would never feel the same.'

'So did I.' he whispered.

'But you do?' she smiled hopefully.

'I do.' He grinned. 'I definitely, definitely do.'

'I don't… I've never liked a boy Derek, not the way I like you.'

'I've never liked a girl the way I like you.'

'You've had two girlfriends, Derek.' She rolled her eyes.

'I've never felt the same way about them the same way I feel for you.'

'Really?' she breathed.

'Really.' He nodded. 'You are…. I love you.'

'I think I love you too.'

'You think you love me?' he laughed, bouncing her on his lap.

'I do love you.' She whispered, tracing her fingers on his cheek. 'I do, Derek. I… so much that it hurt.'

'Me too.' He whispered.

'I don't… I… so what do we do now, Derek?'

'I'm going to ask you out on a date.' He smiled.

'A date?' she smiled, surprised.

'Yeah, you know where I take you out somewhere.'

'We go places anyway.'

'But this time it's different.'

'Good different.' She grinned wider.

'So, Meredith Grey, would you like to go on a date with me?'

'I would.' She nodded, leaning to kiss him.

'I would be honoured to take you.'

'When are we going to go on this date?'

'Whenever you want.'

'Well technically you still have a girlfriend.' She teased. 'So I'm going to have to wait for you to take care of that.'

'Tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow?'

'A date. Tomorrow?'

'Isn't that… too soon?'

'I'm going to see Rose tonight, I love you, Meredith. I don't want to waste any more time.'

'Me neither.' She whispered.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I cant stop saying it.'

'Me neither.' She giggled.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I love you.' He said, gently bouncing her in his lap.

'I love you too.' She giggled again, leaning up to kiss him.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review (especially because I wanna know if you're all happy now!)_


	26. Chapter 26

_hi guys! I know I said I didnt think I would be able to update until Friday but I finished my assignment early so managed to get some writing done. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, thank you for all the reviews! Thank you for reading and please keep reviewing!_

Derek left Meredith's dorm grinning from ear to ear, he couldn't believe he had just kissed Meredith. He had kissed Meredith and it had been perfect. Never in a million years did he think she would reciprocate his feelings for her, never did he think he would get to kiss her... like that.

As he paced across campus to Rose's dorm, he realised he had no clue what he was going to say. Especially not after Rose's comments about his and Meredith's friendship being inappropriate. He did regret dating Rose, and leading her on. But in his defence he never actually planned to cheat on her with Meredith- he never thought anything would ever happen with Meredith. But maybe that was just as bad, settling for Rose and lying to her about his feelings for his best friend.

He knocked on her door and took a deep breath. It was twelve o'clock, she may not even be awake. He had intended on leaving Meredith's with enough time to end things with Rose, but once they had started kissing they just couldn't stop. Every time they finished and said goodbye, their goodbye kiss would turn into a full on make out session with her hands in his hair. He put her in bed and under the covers, kissed the top of her head with full intensions of leaving, but as he reached her front door she had come running up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist for one last kiss. Which then meant an extra twenty minutes.

But he had to end things with Rose tonight, he couldn't be apart from Meredith any longer and they were having their date tomorrow. So he had to tell Rose and he had to tell her now.

'Hey,' said Rose, opening the door in her sweats.

'Hi, you're up.' He nodded.

'I am.'

'Can I... come in?'

'I suppose.' She sighed.

'Thanks.' He smiled slightly, shutting her door after him.

'I need to talk to you about something.'

'If this is about me cancelling dinner, I really don't feel like-'

'It's not, about dinner.' He shook his head.

'Good. Because I'm still pissed at you Derek, it's going to take more than dinner to fix it.'

'I... I'm really sorry.'

'You've already said that. But you just don't seem to get it do you?'

'Rose, I-'

'Anyway, I've decided, you're never actually going to say anything to her yourself so I'm just going to do it.'

'What?'

'She needs to know you're not interested, Derek!'

'Rose-'

'I know she's your friend, Derek but you need to give her some boundaries.'

'Rose-'

'Derek you need to nip it in the bud or-'

'Rose!' He said a little louder, gaining her attention.

'What?' She said, her hands on her hip.

'I really... I don't know how to say this.'

'Oh just say it, Derek.' She rolled her eyes and sitting on the couch.

'I...' he said before sitting next to her. 'I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Rose.'

'Wha...' she trailed off, her face falling.

'I am so sorry. I should never... this wasn't fair to you. And I'm sorry.'

'Are you...'

'I'm sorry.' He shook his head. 'I... i really tried to be happy, Rose. And I really like you. You're a great girl.'

'It's her isn't it.' She said flatly, but he could tell she was going to cry.

'I... I'm so sorry.'

'So it is.' She laughed harshly, a silent tear falling down her face. 'You're unbelievable, Derek.'

'I... I can't tell you how sorry I am.' He said genuinely.

'And you let me go on here about how your friendship was inappropriate, and all the while you've been-'

'I haven't slept with her.' He shook his head. 'Never.'

'Oh please, Derek.' She laughed.

'Rose, I haven't. We've been together for almost three months now, I would never... never do that to you.'

'I wish I could believe you.'

'I kissed her.'

'I knew-'

'Tonight.' He said quickly. 'I kissed her tonight for the first time. And I came straight here, I'm not a cheat, Rose.'

'You kissed someone else!'

'It was unplanned.' He shook his head. 'And I know, I know I should have done this first but I...'

'But you kissed.' She nodded, frostiness practically radiating from her.

'We did.' He said quietly. 'And I'm really sorry.'

'So I was just a back up.'

'What?'

'The whole time. I was a back up, Derek. You were only with me because you weren't with her and as soon as she kisses you you drop me like a ball.'

'She didn't kiss me,' he shook his head at her attempt to cast blame on Meredith. 'I kissed her.' And as soon as he said it he knew he shouldn't have.

'Of course you did.' She said, standing up, wiping at her eyes. 'That bitch.' She breathed.

'No, Rose.' He warned. 'I know you're angry and upset, but this is not her fault.'

'I told you she was after you!'

'She didn't do anything.'

'Except kiss you!'

'I just told you I kissed her.'

'What so she just sat there irresponsive?'

He fell silent, looking down.

'Get out, Derek.'

'Rose.' He whispered. 'I know, I know I fucked up and I know you probably hate me but I really am sorry. I'm sorry and I hope one day we can be friends because I do really like you.'

'Get out Derek!' She said louder.

'Rose-'

'I said, get out!' She shouted, crying.

'I... Rose...'

'Derek!'

'Okay. Okay I'm going.' He said, not wanting to leave her in this state, obviously angry at her. He wanted to stay and talk until she calmed down, but the way her eyes were glaring at him, told him to get the hell out of there.

The next morning he woke up with the biggest grin on his face, despite his lack of sleep. By the time he got home and in bed, he couldn't stop smiling. And he couldn't stop thinking about Meredith. They kissed. He and Meredith actually kissed. And she told him she loved him, which made him think it had all been a dream.

She was so small and vulnerable sat across the bed from him rambling about how a guy like him would never like a guy like her. It made his heart swell and he knew he should have waited until he broke things off with Rose, he _knew_ he should have done that. But he couldn't have not kissed her in that moment. He couldn't have told her he loved her too and not kissed her. Not when she was crying. He had to kiss her. And it had been amazing. Her lips were so soft and her tongue delicate yet demanding. She had run her fingers through his hair when he shifted her into his lap and it felt so good. He'd kissed a few girls in his life, but nothing compared to last night. She tasted amazing and he never wanted to stop. He had come to the conclusion he wanted to kiss Meredith Grey every day for the rest of his life.

He gazed at the clock, eight am. He'd only got to sleep about three, and even then he kept waking. But he didn't even feel tired, he was too happy to be tired. He jumped out of bed and threw on some clean sweats and brushed his teeth and face before moving into the kitchen, where he was surprised to find Mark and Dexter.

'Hey.' He said, trying to hide his grin as much as possible.

'Hey.' Said Dexter.

'What you guys doing up so early?' he asked, moving to get his muesli out of the cupboard.

'We got an away game.' Said Dexter.

'Oh.' He said, joining them at the table.

'How's Mer?' said Mark.

'Dude she was pissed at youuuu.' Laughed Dexter.

'She's great.' He smiled.

'Okay why are you grinning?' said Mark.

'I'm not grinning!'

'You're grinning. She was mad at you and now you're grinning.'

'She wasn't mad at me, and I am not grinning.'

'She looked pretty mad at you.' Said Dexter.

'Dude, stop grinning.' Said Mark.

'I'm not grinning.'

'You look like a chick.'

'Shut up.' He groaned.

'So what happened then?' said Dexter, eating his toast.

'With Meredith?'

'Yeah, she looked really upset.'

'She was.' He nodded. 'But she's okay. We're okay.' He said as his cell went off.

-what time tonight?

-I was going to suggest six but I'm dying to see you

-me too

'Let me guess,' said Mark. 'Rose.'

'What?' his head snapped up.

'You got laid last night and that's why you're so happy happy. And now she's writing to tell you you're getting more later.'

'No.' Derek shook his head, smiling as he replied to Meredith.

-I could come round for the day? Then leave you to get ready and come pick you up at six?

-perfect

-I'll be round soon

-okay

'You totally got laid.' Nodded Dexter.

'I did not get laid!'

'You did.' Agreed Mark.

'if you must know, I have a date tonight. That's why I'm happy.'

'You have a date?' said Mark flatly. 'You're in teeth mode because of a date?'

'I am indeed.' He grinned.

'what's so special about this one?' Dexter rolled his eyes. 'You and flower have been on loads of dates.'

'She's called Rose!' he laughed. 'And I didn't say it was with her.'

'Wait- what?' said Mark.

'My date.' Derek shrugged. 'I never said it was with Rose.'

'It was kind of implied seeing as she's your girlfriend.'

'Ex-girlfriend'

'Woah, woah, what?' said Dexter. 'Since when and why have I not been informed of this?'

'Only since last night.'

'You ditched the flower?'

'Rose. But yes, I did.'

'So this date…..' Dexter looked at him expectantly.

'Is with Meredith.' He finished.

'Knew it!' said Mark, banging his fist on the table and jumping up.

'Man.' Groaned Dexter.

'You both owe me twenty.' Mark laughed, holding his hand out as Dexter reached in his back pocket.

'What is going on?' frowned Derek.

'You and Meredith right?' said Mark. 'You told her how you feel and gooey shit.'

'Wha…. I guess.'

'So I win.' Mark smirked at Dexter. 'Tell Tim I am awaiting my payment.'

'You guys made a bet?'

'Uh-huh.' Mark nodded, waving the note.

'On me and Meredith?'

'Sloan bet you two would open your eyes by the end of semester, we bet you wouldn't.'

'You… seriously?'

'The victory is all mine.' Mark nodded.

'You bet on me and Meredith?'

'We did, get over it Shep.' Said Mark, clapping him on the back before going into his room.

'Was it really that obvious?' Derek turned to Dexter.

'Dude, you might as well have gone around with a flashing sign above your head that read I LOVE MEREDITH GREY.'

'Shut up.' He rolled his eyes.

'No.' Dexter laughed. 'So you're going on a date?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'I'm happy for you, bro. And Meredith too.'

'Did you really know she liked me?'

'I think you're the only one in the whole of Hanover that didn't know she likes you.'

'Oh Mer.' He breathed.

'Why do you think she hung out with us so much?'

'I don't know..' he breathed.

'Anyway, that girl's crazy about you so I'm happy for you both.'

'Thanks, Dex.' He smiled.

'No problem.' His friend replied as Derek's cell buzzed again.

-can you hurry up? I miss you

'That her?'

'Yeah.' He smiled to himself typing a reply.

-It's 8:30am! I'm surprised you're even awake!

-Get your ass over here

-I'll be over in ten

-you better be

'Listen, man, good luck with the game I gotta go.'

'Having withdrawal symptoms already?' Dexter laughed as Derek grabbed his jacket off the couch.

'Something like that.' He chuckled, opening the door. 'Bye!'

'See you man.'

He practically ran to Meredith's dorm, getting halfway there before realising he was in sweats. He never left his dorm in sweats. Oh well, she was worth it. He reached her door and knocked, surprised when Sarah answered the door.

'Hi.' He smiled.

'Hey, come in.' she said, letting him in as Meredith burst out of her room.

'Hey.' He smiled at her, looking cute in what she called her posh sweats. They were light grey Hollister, and she never wore them when she ate things that could potentially stain. Her hair was in it's usual ponytail with some wisps still framing her face.

'Hey.' She grinned, her eyes sparkling.

'O-kay.' Said Sarah, smiling at Meredith. 'I'm gonna leave now.'

'Okay.' Meredith giggled. 'Bye. And I'm sorry for waking you up.'

'It's okay.' Sarah laughed. 'It's about time- I'm just glad I was the first to know.'

'Have a nice day.'

'Thanks.' Her roommate called over her shoulder, going back into her room.

'Hey.' Meredith repeated from her spot about ten feet away from him.

'Hey.' He grinned, walking toward her.

'I missed you.' She breathed.

'I missed you too.' He said, wrapping his arms around her waist before leaning down to capture her lips. She responded instantly, moving her arms around his neck and sucking gently at his lower lip. He groaned as his tongue pressed against her lips, begging for entrance to her mouth. She parted her lips and massaged his tongue with her own. Kissing Meredith was officially amazing.

'Derek.' She breathed, pulling him even closer to her.

'Hmmm.' He groaned, leaning in again.

'I really missed that.' She giggled, resting her forehead against his.

'Me too.' He whispered.

'Really, really missed it.' She giggled again, leaning up to brush his lips with hers.

'You okay today?' he asked, his arms still tightly around her.

'Yeah.' She smiled. 'Great.'

'Me too.'

'Derek!' she squealed, putting her arms around his neck as his hands travelled down to her thighs, picking her up and placing her on the kitchen counter.

'Hey.' He smiled, standing in-between her legs and leaning into her.

'Hey.' She giggled, leaning forward to kiss him. Her hands moved through his hair as his lips moved with hers, sending waves of pleasure through her whole body. His hands moved from her back to her sides, running up and down them gently while he deepened the kiss.

'Derek.' She moaned.

'Mer.' He breathed against her lips, before pulling her back in to continue exploring her mouth.

'Oh.' She whispered, taking his face in her hands as her tongue continues it's sensual movements against his own. He eventually pulled away, leaving his hands on her sides, her arms going back around his neck.

'That… Derek.' She smiled, leaning back in to kiss him quickly.

'I can't stop kissing you.' He grinned.

'I know.' She laughed, kissing him again.

'So… what do you want to do today?'

'Well we should study.' She pouted. 'But I don't really want to.'

'Me neither.' He said, pressing a firm kiss to her pouting lips.

'I just…'

'What?' he asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

'It's stupid.' She shook her head.

'Hey, tell me.'

'I… it's stupid… but I kind of just want to be with you…. Today.'

'Me too.'

'You do?'

'Of course I do. I finally got my girl.' He couldn't help but grin.

'Derek.' She giggled, hitting his chest lightly. 'That was cheesy.'

'Sorry.' He laughed.

'Don't be.' She whispered, leaning in once again to devour his mouth.

'So… hang out here today?' he asked against her lips. 'Then I'll leave you to get ready for a couple of hours and pick you up for our date?'

'Perfect.' She smiled.

'Cop show or movie?'

'Movie.' She breathed. 'Definitely movie.'

'Movie it is.' He grinned, kissing her quickly before picking her up of the counter and taking her into her room as her legs wrapped around his waist and she giggled in his ear.

'Okay.' He said, lying her gently down on the bed, pressing his lips to hers. 'What movie?'

'You pick.' She smiled at him looking through her DVD collection.

'You pick.' He countered.

'I picked last time.'

'You get to pick again.' He grinned.

'I don't want to pick.' She laughed.

'Pick.'

'

'No.'

'Pick, Meredith.'

'I don't want to pick.'

'Choose a movie.' He laughed, throwing a dirty pair of socks from the floor at her.

'Hey!' she giggled, throwing them back at his head.

'Pick a movie!'

'No!'

'Meredith Elizabeth Grey pick a freaking movie.'

'No!' she repeated, climbing up off the bed and landing herself in his lap on the floor.

'Hi.' He said, immediately snaking his arms around her waist.

'Hi.' She giggled, leaning to kiss him.

'Again.' He laughed.

'Are you complaining right now?' she mocked.

'Definitely not.' He shook his head, tightening his grip on her and pulling her closer towards him, her lavender scent overwhelming him.

'Good.' She grinned, kissing the corner of his mouth before moving to capture his lips.

'Mer...' He breathed, pulling her closer.

'Derek...' She gasped, as he felt her breasts rub against his chest.

'Oh..' he moaned, their tongues wrapped around one another's as his hands rested dangerously close to her bra clasp on her back.

'Derek….' She pulled away breathless, her arms draped over his shoulders.

'Yes?' he said, moving his lips to her neck, to which she groaned in appreciation.

'Derek…' she gasped as he began to suck on her skin softly where her neck met her shoulder.

'Hmmm.' He groaned, licking and nipping at her.

'Feels really good….' She breathed, her fingers running through his hair.

'You taste really good.' He murmured, moving his lips to the top of her chest exposed by her T-shirt.

'Der…' she breathed, cupping his face in her hands and pulling it up. 'Stop.'

'Stop?' he breathed.

'Yeah.' She giggled.

'I'm sorry… I… I'm sorry if that was too much I-'

'Der,' she said softly, her hand moving over his hair. 'It was really good.'

'Oh.' He smiled.

'I just… I…'

'What?' he said as understandingly as possible.

'I… I don't want to sound lame, and I know it sounds lame, Derek I know it does.'

'I bet it isn't lame.'

'It is.' She shook her head.

'Tell me anyway. I love you.' He smiled warmly at her.

'I…' she breathed, moving her arms fully around his neck to bring his face close to hers. 'I don't… I don't want to have sex with you.'

'What?' he panicked, his eyes immediately going wide.

'No, no.' she said quickly cupping his face with one hand. 'I do want to have sex with you Derek. I really.. really do… I really freaking do. I've wanted to have sex with you so much the last couple of weeks I…'

'What?' he breathed. 'You what?'

'I… you know.' She blushed.

'You…' he trailed off.

'Touched myself. Thinking of you.' She nodded, her cheeks going red.

'Mer.'

'I- this was not the point I was trying to make.' She shook her head.

'But you…' he breathed.

'Yes.' She said, kissing him quickly.

'Oh.'

'I know.' She giggled slightly. 'But that's not… I want to have sex with you, I really really do. But… Sex is… I've had sex, Derek. I've had a lot of sex with a lot of boys. But this… I've never… you're special Derek. And that's lame I know and I know I sound lame but it's never been special it's always been fast and after I've picked a guy up at a bar or a party. It's fast and I come, well I come most of the time, and then I kick them out and never see them again. My point is I've had a lot of sex Derek.'

'You've had a lot of sex.' He repeated, smiling to himself as she rambled.

'I've had a lot of sex but I don't want it to be like that with you.'

'It wouldn't be.' He said immediately.

'I know.' She whispered, cradling his face. 'I know it won't be like that with you but I… I'm not saying I want to wait forever or anything… because I really, really love sex… but I know we have a date tonight and I don't know because I've never been on a date. But is sex expected on dates? Because I really want to have sex with you Derek but I don't want to do it right away. This is more than sex.'

'It is.' He nodded.

'I…. I feel really big things, Derek. And I don't want to do everything at once.'

'I get that.' He nodded. 'We can take it slow.'

'We can?' she breathed.

'Of course we can. And just for the record Mer, I never _expect_ sex.'

'You're really amazing.' She whispered.

'I'm not.'

'You are.'

'I'm not. We'll take things at your pace Mer.'

'Most guys are only after one thing.'

'Good job I'm not most guys.' He smirked.

'It is.' She giggled.

'We don't have to do anything right now.' He said. 'Except the kissing.'

'I like the kissing.'

'I really like the kissing. More kissing I say.'

'Definitely.' She giggled, kissing him softly.

'And when we want more than kissing, there are plenty of other things we can do before sex.'

'There are.' She grinned. 'What kind of things do you have in mind?'

'Well,' he said, leaning back from her slightly. 'I definitely want to play with these.' He said, running his hands over her covered breasts.

'Oh.' She breathed, sensitive to his touch. 'I want you to play with those too.'

'Do you like that?' he asked. 'Breast play?'

'Yes…' she breathed, leaning her breasts into his palms as he cupped them gently.

'Hmmm.' He smiled, kissing her. 'And then I've heard that I can do good things with my fingers, and my tongue.'

'Are you really referring to your ex-girlfriends while you're talking about fingering me?' she laughed.

'That probably wasn't my best move.'

'Definitely not.' She giggled. 'But I guess I can forget it when I'm imagining you going down on me.'

'Thank you, I appreciate that.' He laughed.

'You're welcome.' She smiled, kissing him for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

'This… I don't expect anything from you, Mer. Your body, your terms. I'm not going to push, whatever you're comfortable with.'

'Thank you.' She whispered. You are amazing.'

'We just went through this.' He rolled his eyes.

'I'll go through it again if I have to.' She laughed. 'You are amazing, Derek. To me, you are amazing.'

 _Thank you for reading! X_


	27. Chapter 27

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for the really kind reviews on the last couple of chapters, they make my day and I really appreciate them! It's so nice to know what you guys think and it makes writing so much easier when I know people are enjoying it. So please leave me a review and let me know-it's even just nice to know who is out there and who is reading! I hope you enjoy this update!_

It was five thirty. It was five thirty and Meredith had butterflies in her stomach. In half an hour Derek would be back and he would be taking her on a date, a real date. Her and Derek on a date. She couldn't wait, which sounded stupid because he had literally left her dorm two hours ago after spending the whole day with her. But she did, she missed him. They had spent all day sat in bed, watching movies, well, less watching movies more making out while movies were on. They had sat and cuddled and kissed and laughed and the whole day had been perfect, just perfect. It was just like before he started dating Rose only better, because now she could touch him and he touched her. And it was amazing, actually amazing. A part of her thought that the reason she couldn't stop kissing him was to remind herself it was real.

She sat in in front of her desk mirror, only wearing her towel, putting her hairdryer back in her drawer. She brushed her hair behind her ears and pulled out her make up bag. She had never been on a date before, she didn't know what was too much or how fancy she was supposed to look. When she asked Derek what to wear he had told her she looked nice in whatever she wore. Which was sweet and kind of made her want to stick her tongue down his throat, but it wasn't very helpful. She did her normal make up before wandering into the kitchen.

'Oh!' she gasped, holding her towel closer to her body as she saw Dan in the kitchen, pouring he and Sarah a drink.

'Hey.' Dan laughed.

'Hey Mer.' Smiled Sarah, turning around from the microwave. 'You okay?'

'Yeah. Yeah I'm fine.' She nodded. 'I just… what do I wear? For a date?'

'What did Derek say?'

'Nothing. He was not helpful. He said I could wear anything.'

'Did he say where you were going?'

'No. He is useless.'

'He is not useless.' Laughed Sarah. 'You're so into him it's ridiculous.'

'Not the point.'

'Okay.' Sarah laughed.

'I don't even know how much make up to wear.'

'You never really wear a lot of make up around Derek.' Sarah shrugged. 'And you look really pretty, so I wouldn't go for anything more.'

'Really?'

'Really.' Sarah nodded.

'So what do I wear?'

'You honestly have no clue where you're going? No hints?'

'None.'

'okay.' Sarah breathed, 'Let's look at your closet.'

'Okay.' Said Meredith. 'Thanks.' Turning back into her room in her towel, Sarah following.

'Are you thinking jeans or a skirt?'

'Not sure.' Said Meredith, pulling some panties out of her drawer and putting them on underneath her towel.

'Hmmmm.'

'What?' she said, reaching for a bra.

'I think you should go jeans and a nice top.'

'I don't know.' Meredith pulled a face. 'Shouldn't I…. skirts are sexier and it's a first date…. I want to look nice for him.'

'Meredith knowing Derek he'll tell you you look nice in anything you wear.'

'He did say that before.' She giggled.

'But if you want to wear a skirt then go for it.'

'Do you think I should?' she asked, sitting on the bed.

'It's up to you. You have some really cute ones.' Sarah said, putting a silver mini skirt on the bed.

'Not that one.' Meredith shook her head.

'Why not? I like it.'

'No.' Meredith shook her head.

'Okay.' Said Sarah turning to pull some more out.

'I think jeans. But skinny ones, so he can see my ass.'

'Good idea.' Sarah laughed.

'Just…. If we're not just going to dinner.. if we're going on a romantic walk or something… skirt and heels not good.'

'Practical.' She nodded.

'Exactly.'

'Sounds good.' Sarah said, pulling a pair of cropped black skinny jeans out of the closet. 'These.'

'They do make my ass look good. And I did shave my legs.'

'Then definitely those.' Sarah nodded enthusiastically.

'But… nice top.'

'Nice top.'

'Okay,' said Sarah going through the rai. 'This!' she said, pulling out a black mesh top with a thin black tank underneath it, pink flowers dotted on the mesh.'

'Ooooh. I like that one.' Meredith's eyes lit up. 'And I don't think Derek's seen it.'

'Definitely this one then.' Sarah said, holding the top above the jeans and looking in the mirror. 'What about shoes?'

'Shoes. I didn't think about shoes.'

'Let me see.' Sarah said, searching on Meredith's floor. 'Ooooo, these!'

'Those?' Meredith scrunched her nose at the white sneakers with a metallic back.

'They're cute!'

'They're sneakers.'

'They go amazingly well with the outfit.'

'They do?'

'You're gonna look effortlessly hot.'

'Oh.' Her eyes lit up. 'I'll wear those.'

'You literally have ten minutes before he gets here so I'll leave you to put clothes on. But show me before he arrives- I want to see.'

'Okay, I will.' Meredith laughed.

'Get yourself sexy.' She called over her shoulder, leaving Meredith on the bed.

She grinned to herself and dropped her towel, putting her bra on and wiggling into her jeans. Sarah was right, these sneakers did look good with her outfit. She smiled to herself, she'd never dressed up for a boy before. Well, she had dressed up to go to a party where she would hopefully hook up with a boy, but she'd never dressed up for one boy in particular. And especially not when she wasn't looking for sex. She just wanted to look nice for him. She picked up her purse and wallet, and her phone off charge, taking one last look at herself in the mirror before stuffing her things in her bag and picking up her denim jacket.

'Okay.' She said, walking into the kitchen as Dan and Sarah ate their dinner.

'Hot!' grinned Sarah, swallowing her food.

'You think?'

'Definitely, I love the jacket too.'

'Thanks.' She grinned.

'He coming for six?' said Dan.

'Yeah.' She breathed, glancing at the wall clock, it was five fifty six.

'Don't be nervous,' he smiled. 'You'll have a great time.'

'I'm not nervous.' She laughed defensively.

'You kinda look nervous.' Giggled Sarah. 'Don't be, this is Derek.'

'This is Derek.' Meredith repeated as there was a knock at the door. 'Ohmygod.' She breathed. 'He's here.'

'He is.'

'He's here.' She said again, not moving.

'Just like he was here this morning.' Sarah laughed. 'Mer, you're gonna be fine.'

'But I've never been on a date before.'

'This isn't about it being a date, just think about it as spending time with Derek.'

'Derek.'

'Go let the poor boy in.' Dan laughed.

'Right.' Meredith nodded, going to the door. 'Right.'

'Boy,' Laughed Sarah turning to Dan. 'Derek's older than you.'

'Shut up.' He rolled his eyes, returning to his dinner.

Meredith opened the door and couldn't help but grin at the sight on the other side. 'Hey.' She breathed, taking him in in his navy blue jeans which were rolled up, his light blue button down and black sweater. He looked really good. Really really good.

'Hey.' He smiled, his eyes sparkling. 'You look… amazing.'

'Thanks.' She blushed. 'You… you do too.'

'Thanks.' He grinned, holding his hand out to her. 'Ready?'

'Yes.' She nodded. 'Bye guys!'

'Bye!' smirked Sarah as Meredith turned to shut the door before taking Derek's hand. He interlaced their fingers and she squeezed his hand softly. 'Hi.'

'Hi.' He grinned, stopping them briefly to kiss her gently.

'You smell really good.'

'So do you.'

'Hmmm.' She grinned.

'You're making my noise.' He teased, putting the hand that wasn't in hers on her hip.

'Shut up.'

'Telling me to shut up, great way to start a date.' He smirked.

'Shut up.' She repeated, pouting playfully as he leaned forward to kiss her. 'So are you going to tell me where we're going?' she said, as they made their way down her hall.

'Do you want to know or do you want to be surprised?' he said, holding the door open for her.

'I want to know.'

'You do.'

'Yes. No.'

'Yes no?' he laughed taking her hand again once they got outside.

'Shut up.' She giggled.

'Shall I tell you some of it?'

'Okay.' She smiled as they made their way across campus.

'We're going somewhere then going somewhere else for food.'

'There's two parts to the date?' she gasped.

'Uh-huh.' He nodded.

'I… what are we doing?'

'Not telling.' He grinned.

'Tell me.' She said, pulling on his hand.

'No.' he laughed.

'Tell me!'

'If I tell you it will ruin the surprise and I know you want the surprise really.'

'I hate you.'

'No you don't.' he laughed.

'Sush you ruined my moment.' She giggled.

'Oh, sorry.' He said as they approached a bus stop. 'You really do look lovely tonight.'

'Thanks.' She breathed and she could feel her cheeks heating. 'You too.'

'Thanks.' He smiled, sitting on the seat and pulling her into his lap. 'I missed you before.'

'Derek you were gone for two hours!' she laughed.

'So?!'

'I was about to say that's pathetic, but I missed you too.' She sighed, leaning into him.

'I'm really happy, Mer.' He said, kissing her back.

'Me too.'

'I… I can't believe I'm actually taking you on a date.'

'Me neither.' She laughed.

'I'm sorry, Mer…. About Rose.' He said quietly, tightening his arms around her.

'Oh.' She breathed. 'Derek… it's not like you knew.'

'I know. I… still…. Sorry,'

'You don't need to be.' She turned to look at him.

'I know, but I am.'

'You didn't do anything wrong.'

'Well I think I did.' He laughed softly.

'How did she take it?' she asked, shifting in his lap so her legs were swung over his and her arms were around his neck.

'Not good.' He said quietly. He had spent all day with Meredith and somehow avoided the subject of his break up with Rose,

'What did you tell her?' she murmured, moving her hand to the nape of his neck.

'I… I didn't really tell her anything- she guessed.'

'She guessed?' she breathed.

'Well, when I turned up she thought I'd gone to apologise-'

'For what?'

'What?'

'Apologise for what?'

'Oh. She was pissed at me because the other night when you fell asleep on me and I stayed the night at yours, I was meant to see her and I lost track of time.'

'And she was pissed?'

'She was pissed and she thought I'd gone to apologise, and she started talking and talking about it and I… I just told her I was sorry and she knew. She knew I wasn't talking about dinner.'

'Derek…' she breathed. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault. Although, she was angry.'

'Great.'

'I told her you hadn't done anything wrong but… she's angry.'

'I guess it's understandable.' She said, leaning to press her lips to his softly.

'Hmmm.' He smiled at her.

'Oh great, the noise is back.' She laughed.

'Why do you hate it so much?'

'I don't hate it.' She swatted his chest. 'It's just annoying. And I don't know what it means.'

'Neither do I.' he laughed.

'But it's your noise- you have to know what it means.'

'Sorry to disappoint.' He smirked as the bus pulled up. 'Let's go.' He said, her leaving his knee.

He pulled his wallet out and paid for them both before leading her to the back seat where she sat next to him, his arm instinctively going around her and placing a kiss on the top of her head. When they reached their destination he hoped she didn't twig to where they were going and led her down a paved street.

'I literally don't know where we are.'

'Good.' He grinned, leaning to kiss her.

'Mmmm.' She moaned, deepening the kiss slightly.

'This way.' He whispered against her lips and pulling her to a building.

'Derek…' she gasped.

'Yes?' he smirked.

'Is this….'

'Yes.'

'What…. Can… this is a date?'

'Unless you want to do something different?' he said genuinely.

'No. No.' she grinned.

'Good.' He smiled.

'This is perfect.'

'Let's go then.' he said, pulling on her hand and taking her inside.

'I didn't know you could do this for a date.'

'You can do anything you want for a date.' He smiled. 'But preferably something you'll both enjoy.'

'I… this is fun.' She smiled as they headed to the desk.

'Hi.' Smiled Derek. 'We'd like to buy an hour, please.'

'That will be ten dollars each please.' Said the middle aged, cranky woman behind the counter.

'Thanks.' Smiled Derek, handing her a twenty.

'There you go.' Said the woman, go over there and take your shoes off.

'Thank you.' Smiled Derek.

'Derek you didn't have to pay.' She said, walking over to the second counter.

'I know.' He smiled. 'I wanted to. This is our first date.' To which she giggled. 'What?' he breathed.

'I… you just say first…' she said, beginning to blush. 'Like… we're going to have more…'

'Of course we're going to have more.' He breathed, gazing at how embarrassed and cute she looked. 'Lots more.' He whispered, kissing her.

'What size?' said the man.

'Ten point five.' Said Derek, slipping his shoes off and handing them over.

'six please.' Smiled Meredith handing her shoes over also.

'There you go.'

'Thanks.' Smiled Derek, taking his roller blades.

'Thank you.' Said Meredith doing the same before they walked to a seat to put them on. 'So we're going to roller skate?' she grinned.

'We're going to roller skate.' He nodded.

'Are you good at it?'

'I haven't really done it since I was a kid.' He laughed. 'You?'

'Me neither.'

'You can always hold my hand.' He winked.

'Why do I think that has nothing to do with me falling over.' She laughed.

'Damn, got me.' He grinned.

'You're cheesy.' She said, standing up.

'Fine then, fall.' He teased.

'Ha ha very funny.' She said reaching for his hand before rolling onto the floor.

They seemed to be there hardly any time at all, but when their hour was up, the wristband one of the staff had given to Derek began to flash and they were told it was time to go. It had been perfect, everything he had hoped. They had laughed as they got used to being on roller skates for the first time in years, her gripping his hand as they went round relatively cautiously, dodging the kids going at what seemed like a hundred miles per hour. Then once she had felt a bit more confident, they went faster, teasing each other who could go further, until they had eventually raced from one side to the other. Her hair was framing her face beautifully and his heart couldn't help but clench every time she laughed, or every time she grabbed his hand for support. They handed back their skates and put their shoes back on, her hand immediately slipping back into his as they left.

'Did you have fun?' he asked, turning to her.

'Lots.' She grinned, leaning up to kiss him quickly.

'Me too.'

'Good.' She grinned. 'So where are we going now?'

'I was thinking….' He said, twisting her to look at the pizza restaurant opposite the roller blade place. 'Pizza.'

'Oh my god.'

'Good idea?'

'Perfect idea.' She nodded, kissing him again.

'Good.' He murmured against her lips.

He'd never been to this place, and apparently neither had she but he'd read online that they did the biggest pizzas in town, and if you didn't finish they gave you a box to take it home in. Not that he thought Meredith would need one, it was amazing how much she could put away. Their waitress showed them to their table, a secluded one in the corner.

'Thanks.' Smiled Meredith sitting down.

'Can I get you guys a drink while you look at the menu?' the bleach blonde asked.

'I'll have a lemonade please.'

'Certainly, and for yourself, sir?'

'Still water, please.'

'Coming right away.'

'What?' said Derek as the waitress left, a smirk on Meredith's face.

'Sir.' She teased.

'Shut up.' He laughed.

'I know you're older Derek but Sir.' She giggled.

'Older? Meredith there's literally three years between us.'

'You're still older.' She laughed.

'Not that much older.' He pointed out.

'True. Anyway, I kind of like that you're older.'

'You do?' he smirked.

'Yep. An older man.'

'Meredith it's three years!' he laughed.

'I know, I'm joking.' She giggled. 'But I do like that you're three years older.'

'You do?' he smiled.

'Yeah… you're… not a jerk.'

'I think that's more to do with my dazzling personality rather than my age.' He mocked.

'Whatever.'

'First you tell me to shut up, then you're mocking my age…. Not looking like a second date for you.'

'Shut up. You said before we'd have more dates.' She laughed.

'Maybe I've changed my mind.' He teased, although her face seemed to fall a little.

'…You… okay… I… that's okay… I guess…. I mean….'

'Meredith,' he breathed, reaching over the table to take her hand. 'I'm joking.' He said softly, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. 'Of course I'm going to ask you on a second date. But I probably shouldn't say that until the first ones over.' He added with a slight laugh.

'You are?' she said hopefully, her eyes big.

'Of course I am.'

'Oh.' She giggled slightly.

'You… this has already been the best date I've ever had.'

'Really?' she breathed.

'Yes.'

'…But I've never… I've never done this before.'

'Then you must be a natural.'

'I doubt it.' She laughed.

'I just really like you, Mer.'

'I really like you too.'

'And I'm having a great time.'

'Me too.' She whispered, squeezing his hand. 'I…. you're Derek.'

'And you're Meredith.'

'You're my Derek.' She breathed.

'I am. I've always been your Derek.'

'Well, you were Rose's Derek for a while.'

'Technically.' He granted. 'But not really.'

'My Derek.' She breathed, her smile spreading across her whole face.

'Always.'

Their moment was interrupted when the waitress came back with their drinks, placing Meredith's lemonade in front of her and Derek's water.

'Do you guys know what you'd like to eat yet?'

'Oh.' Said Derek, realising they hadn't actually looked at the menu.

'I do.' Said Meredith. 'But I don't know about you, Der?'

'You go, I'll have a quick look.'

'Okay.' She smiled softly. 'A Pepperoni pizza please.'

'Medium or large?'

'Definitely large.' She giggled.

'Can I get you any sides with that?'

'No thank you, I'm good.'

'No problem. Sir?'

'Oh.' He said looking up from his menu. 'I'll have a large vegetable supreme also without a side please.'

'Coming right up.'

'Thanks.' Smiled Derek, handing her back his menu.

'So.' Meredith giggled.

'So.'

'I… what do people normally talk about on first dates?'

'Well, normally it's about getting to know each other. But we already know each other inside out, so I don't think we fit into the same brand as everyone else.'

'True.' She smiled.

'I like being here with you.' He said quietly.

'I like being here with you too.'

'I never thought this would happen.'

'Me neither. I mean… never… with anyone….'

'I'm glad it did.'

'Me too.' She breathed. 'I… It scares me that I love you, Derek.'

'It does?' he asked quietly.

'Uh-huh.' She nodded. 'I never believed I would feel this way about someone and…'

'Now you do?' he finished for her.

'Yeah.'

'I'm glad it's me you're on your first date with.'

'Me too.' She giggled. 'I…. How long, Derek?'

'What?'

'I mean I know you said you liked me from the very first class of the semester… but when did you… fall or whatever…'

'Oh.'

'Like… did you love me at Christmas?'

'I think so.' He nodded.

'You do?'

'I think I… I think I fell for you pretty much straight away….'

'So all this time?'

'Yeah. I don't think I knew it.'

'No?'

'No.'

'Me neither. I don't think I knew I was in love with you, I mean.'

'When did you know?'

'I… I was with Izzie and Cristina. And you were with Rose. And it wasn't long after you started dating and I was sad… like all the time. I was sad and I missed you even though I saw you every day for class and my heart hurt every time I saw you with her. I… she touched you… I… I wanted it to be me. And when you kissed her…I… I was drinking and we hadn't hung out properly in a while so I called you-'

'I remember.' He nodded. 'We decided to watch a movie on the Thursday.'

'We did.' She breathed.

' I remember.'

'When I hung up the phone I…. I just knew.'

'You knew.'

'I knew but…. I also knew I was only realising because I was jealous…. I… I think it started... with.. you know the night, the night I got in a fight with Addison?'

'Of course.'

'That night you took care of me and all I wanted was you. All I wanted was you and you held me and made me coco and you… When I was in your bed… all I wanted was you. And then you slept with me and you held me and you kissed my neck and I… I think that's where it started.'

'Oh.'

'Is that bad?'

'No. no.' he shook his head. 'We just… wasted a lot of time.'

'I thought you would never like me.'

'I thought you would never like me.' He laughed, reaching to wipe his eye.

'We're rubbish.' She giggled.

'I… so all those nights you stayed over and I held you… we…'

'Were in love with each other.' This time she finished for him.

'Yeah.' He breathed.

'Why didn't you say anything?' she asked quietly.

'I…. you don't believe in love… you.. like I said- never thought you would like me.'

'I do.' She said softly.

'What?'

'Believe in love.' She blushed. 'Now. With you.'

'Oh.'

'Oh?'

'Wow.' He smiled.

'I know.'

'Why didn't you say anything?'

'I only realised once you were already with Rose.'

'Oh yeah.'

'I… you mom knew.'

'What?'

'That I loved you.'

'My mom?'

'Yeah.'

'She… you told her?'

'Yeah.' She said quietly. 'I didn't really set out to, it just came out.'

'That's how I told Mark.'

'You told Mark?'

'That I loved you?'

'Yeah.'

'Yeah. I… it just slipped out when they were all being crabby with me for not spending time with you.'

'Wait they all knew?'

'Yeah.'

'They never said anything.'

'Did you tell them…. That you loved me?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'But it was pretty obvious.'

'Oh.'

'At least we're doing this now.' She smiled.

'Indeed.'

'So, datey talk.'

'Datey talk?' he laughed.

'This is about getting to know each other, right?'

'But we already know everything about each other.'

'Not everything.' She smiled playfully. 'Tell me something I don't know about you.'

'Oh.' He said, reaching for her hand across the table. 'Let me think.' It was quite hard to think of something that Meredith didn't know about him, she knew pretty much everything. 'My favourite book is The Sun Also Rises.'

'Interesting.'

'Tell me something about you.'

'I had pink hair in high school.'

'Pink hair? Seriously?'

'Uh-huh.' She giggled.

'High school isn't even that long ago for you.'

'I know. I was a bit of a rebel.'

'A rebel?' he grinned. 'Hot.'

'Thanks.'

'How come you got rid of it?'

'I didn't really like it.' She shrugged.

'How long did you have it for?'

'The whole two years.'

'The whole two years and you didn't like it?'

'I was… making a statement or whatever.'

'You were?' he asked softly, playing with her hand.

'My mom didn't really care.'

'Oh Mer.'

'It's okay.' She shook her head, smiling slightly. 'I… it hurt me but I… I have people who care now.'

'You do.' He smiled.

'And you're obviously my favourite.' She giggled.

'Good. You're mine too.' He whispered.

'Okay, something else about you.'

'Okay,' he sighed. 'My favourite colour is Indigo.'

'That makes sense.' She nodded. 'you wear dark blue sweaters a lot.'

'I do?'

'You do.' She giggled.

'Your turn.'

'Oh, okay.' She said, tilting her head to the side. 'I want to travel around Europe.'

'You do?'

'I do.' She nodded. 'Like, the UK, France, Spain, The Netherlands, Germany… everywhere. And not just the capitals.'

'Everywhere.' He smiled.

'Well obviously not literally every where. But as much as possible.'

'I'll take you one day.' He heard himself say, her smile fading for a moment, before re-spreading across her face ten times bigger. 'If you want.' He added quickly. Nervously.

'I'd love to go with you.' She squeezed his hand.

'One day.' He breathed.

'One day.'

'I promise.'

She squeezed his hand again before running her fingers up to his wrist. 'It's your go again.'

'Oh.'

'There must be something.' She teased.

'There is. I just cant think.'

'Well then think.'

'I am thinking!' he laughed.

'Okay you have one minute.' She said, taking a sip of her lemonade.

'My mom and dad's families were Irish. So when we go to Europe I want to go there.'

'They are?' she breathed.

'Yep. Mom's maiden name's Maloney.'

'Oh.' She smiled. 'We'll definitely go to Ireland.'

'Your turn.' He said, as the waitress arrived with their food.

Their pizzas were huge, bigger than he ever imagined. And they were really good, Meredith devoured hers while he still had a third left. She had told him he was weak and he asked to take the rest home in a takeout box. It had been amazing, they had carried on with what Meredith called 'datey talk' until the cheque came. He paid it all despite her protests. And then they headed back out hand in hand to the bus stop. Once they arrived back at her building they stopped outside the door.

'So.' She said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'So.' He repeated, smiling.

'I had an amazing time.'

'Me too.'

'I… thank you.'

'You're more than welcome.'

'I… I really love you Derek.' She breathed, looking up into his eyes.

'I really love you too.' He said, pushing a stand of hair behind her ear. 'Which is crazy after a first date.'

'You did say it wasn't a normal date anyway.' She giggled.

'Very true.'

'I… really like this.' She whispered.

'Me too.' He smiled, leaning into her, their noses almost touching.

'Derek…' she whispered, brushing her lips against his.

'Mer….'

'Oh..'

'I love you.' He said his forehead resting against hers.

'Me too.' She whispered, leaning to kiss him again quickly.

'When can I next take you on a date?' he said squeezing her sides.

'Whenever you want.' She grinned.

'How about Friday?'

'Friday?' she pouted. 'That's like six days away.'

'Well you can see me before then obviously.' He laughed.

'Oh.' She laughed also.

'But I can take you out again… Friday?'

'Friday.' She grinned. 'Can I kiss you now?'

'I thought you just did?' he smirked.

'Properly you ass.'

'Maybe not since you just called me an ass.' He joked, dropping his arms from around her.

'Hey come back!' she said pulling on his arm bringing him back to her before her lips crashed onto his. He felt her tongue immediately run along his lips, begging for him to let her in. He backed her against the wall of her building, parting his lips slightly to let her tongue find his. Her hands moved to his hair as she moaned into his mouth. She felt so good against him, her breasts pressed against his chest as she kissed him desperately.

'Wow….' She breathed as they parted, panting slightly.

'Definitely wow.'

'I… I don't want this to end.'

'Me neither.' He shook his head. 'But I'll see you tomorrow? Catch up on the study session we missed today?'

'Yes.' She nodded. 'But in the library. If we do it in my dorm we'll just end up making out.'

'We can make out in the library.' He smirked.

'We can.' She nodded. 'But we do actually need to study.'

'Shame.'

'I know.' She grinned. 'I…are you just going back to your dorm now?'

'Yep.' He nodded.

'Okay… well…. If we weren't waiting then I would invite you in.'

'It's okay.' He smiled.

'But I think if you end up in my room I might end up not being able to resist.'

'Either option is fine with me.' He smirked.

'Hey.' She said, hitting him playfully.

'I know, I know, waiting.'

'Waiting.' She smiled.

'I'm more than okay with waiting.'

'Good. I… not on the first date.'

'Whenever you want to.' He smiled. 'Can I kiss you good night though?'

'Of course.' She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. 'I love when you kiss me.'

'I love kissing you.' He breathed, leaning into her again.

 _Thank you for reading and please review! X_


	28. Chapter 28

_Hi guys! Thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, and I hope you are still enjoying!_

'Hey.' She smiled, as she opened her door.

'Hey. You look lovely.'

'Thanks.' She giggled, shutting her door behind him and taking his hand. It was their second date and even though he'd seen her every day since their last one, they'd had the last of their finals that week so while they studied together most of the day, they had to make a conscious effort not to get carried away with themselves. But they'd had their last final of the year that afternoon- biology. So he was taking her out for some drinks to celebrate.

'You're welcome.' He breathed as she grabbed his hand. She had a black cord skirt on with silver buttons down the front and a khaki halter neck top on, a black leather jacket on her shoulders and black heels on.

'Do I look over twenty one?'

'I think so.' He laughed. 'But hopefully if I go to the bar they'll only ID me.'

'Good.' She smiled, tipping her head up to kiss him.

'Hmmm.'

'You smell good.'

'Thanks. So do you.'

'Thanks.' She giggled.

'You really do look good.' He said, his eyes travelling down her body.

'Thanks.' She whispered, biting her lip nervously.

'Why are you blushing?' he laughed as they reached outside.

'I am not.'

'Yes you are.' He grinned, kissing her cheek.

'Shut up.'

'No, you look cute.'

'I do?'

'You definitely do.'

'Oh.' She smiled.

'Are you happy finals are all over?'

'Very.' She sighed, leaning into him as they walked.

'Me too.'

'I'm glad the last one was bio, though.'

'Yeah me too.'

'How lucky was that aneurism question?' she grinned.

'The one on Marriott?'

'Yeah.'

'I know.' He breathed. 'That's what we went through in the library.' He squeezed her hand.

'We go through a lot of stuff in the library, Derek.' She laughed.

'No,' he rolled his eyes, bumping her hip. 'I mean in the first week.'

'Oh.'

'I know.'

'Wow.' She smiled.

'I know.'

'That is weird.'

'Very weird.'

'Out of all the neuro biology questions it was on the thing we met over.'

'I know.' He smiled. 'Fate.'

'It is not fate.' She laughed. 'It was just coincidence.'

'Whatever. You have no romance in you.'

'Shut up.'

'Did you sort out your mom and going home for summer?'

'Oh, yeah. I called her last night and told her I'd be coming home in two weeks.'

'That's good.'

'So, she's booked my a flight for two weeks on Sunday and is sending the driver to come pick me and all my stuff up.'

'Does she expect you to fit all your stuff in a case?'

'Oh, no. A few. The flight is like a first class thing plane, it's this thing she uses a lot… I can take a lot on the plane with me.'

'She has a lot of money doesn't she.'

'Yeah.' She breathed. 'She doesn't have a life… so she doesn't spend it on anything else. We have a nice house and she has a nice car and obviously I go to school here… but, she doesn't do anything. She doesn't spend her money on anything so she can afford for me to travel on a semi-private flight or whatever.'

'That's sad.'

'I know.' She sighed.

'Has she not had a partner since your dad?'

'Not that I know about.' She shook her head. 'To be honest though, I don't think she'd ever make time for anyone like that.' She laughed slightly.

'She must be lonely.' He murmured.

'Yeah.'

They walked until they reached the cab rank just off campus.

'You…. You're not your mom.' He said gently, sensing her sadness. 'You wont be lonely.'

She smiled up at him before wrapping her arms around his midsection and squeezing his sides.

'I love you.' She breathed.

'I love you too.' He grinned down at her, leaning to kiss her. 'Now, let's go.' He said, taking her hand and waving a cab.

'We're not on the bus today?' she smiled.

'No, we've finished finals, you deserve a treat.' He said as he opened the door for her.

She sat practically on his lap in the cab, his arm tightly around her waist as her hand rested on his knee. He loved holding her so close, so close all the time. When they were friends she would sometimes lean on him or she would fall asleep in his bed, but this was so much different. He could touch her in ways he'd only dreamed of before- and she touched him back. They were touching all the time and he loved it. He loved touching her and he loved her touch. They had been studying all week for their last two finals, and it had meant they had had to make a serious effort to focus. Their… relationship was new and they couldn't stop touching and kissing but they had to make sure it didn't interfere too much with their work. They had to ace the last two finals so that they could enjoy their uninterrupted week and then their week in New York. He couldn't wait to spend two full weeks with her with no college work, nothing but spending time with Meredith sounded perfect.

They had a whole week to just spend time together and go on dates and watch movies and make out and hold hands and laugh and joke and he couldn't wait. He couldn't wait to spend so much time with her now that they were…. Dating. They were officially only dating and he didn't want to freak her out by labelling it but he was pretty sure Meredith Grey was his girlfriend and there wasn't anything in the world which sounded more perfect than that.

They pulled up outside the bar and he handed a bill to the cab driver before leading her inside.

'This is fancy.' She whispered.

'Not that fancy.' He smiled. 'Not too fancy, right?'

'No, not too fancy.' She shook her head. 'Just…. Premed students fancy.'

'I told you, you deserve a treat.' He grinned, kissing her.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' He breathed. 'Shall we find somewhere to sit and then I'll go order?'

'Sure.' She said, squeezing his hand and following him through the dimly lit bar which was fancier than anything she'd ever been in before. Everyone looked older and sophisticated and she couldn't believe she was here with Derek. They sat at a small circular booth in the corner and she sat as close to him as possible as he picked a menu up off the table.

'Do you know what you fancy?' he asked.

'Hmmmm.' She breathed. 'I'm thinking a Tequila Sunrise.'

'How did I guess?' he winked.

'Hey,' she hit his chest playfully. 'Are you calling me predictable?'

'Of course not.' He flashed her a smile.

'If I didn't love you I would hate you right now.'

'Well that's good to know.' He laughed, kissing her cheek before standing up and taking the menu with him.

He came back and immediately sat back next to her, his arm immediately snaking around his waist.

'Hmmmm, I missed you.' She breathed, kissing him.

'Mmmm.' He moaned, deepening the kiss. 'I was gone less than ten minutes.'

'I still missed you.' She whispered, nipping at his lips.

'You look…. Really good tonight.'

'Thanks.' She blushed, her hand creeping to his thigh.

'You look…. Really sexy…' he whispered, kissing below her ear.

'I was hoping…'

'Hoping?' he repeated, moving back to kiss her lips.

'Sexy…'

'Oh.' He breathed as her hand itched further up his leg. 'I… you're always sexy.'

'I am?' she whispered.

'Yes.'

'You've never….' She trailed off, her other hand reaching to trace his cheek.

'What?'

'You've never said you find me… hot.'

'I was… your pace.' He said nervously.

'Der, we've been making out for hours the last eight days…. I think I can cope with you telling me I look hot.' She giggled.

'Oh.' He laughed nervously. 'You… you're really hot.' He breathed.

'So are you.' She murmured, capturing his lips with hers. 'Really hot.'

'Hmmm.' He groaned against her lips.

'What did you order?' she asked softly, her face still close to his.

'Scotch.'

'Of course.' She giggled.

'Hey, are you calling me predictable?' he mocked.

'Hey you cant use my line on me!' she laughed.

'Sorry.'

'You will be.' She breathed, squeezing his thigh.

'God, Mer.' He breathed, leaning to kiss her, the waitress bringing their drinks as soon as they pulled away from eachother.

'A Tequila Sunrise and a single malt scotch?'

'Yes, thank you.' Nodded Derek.

'No problem, sir. Enjoy your drinks.'

'Thank you.'

'Oh god this is good.' Said Meredith, taking a sip.

'It is?' he smiled.

'Huh-huh. Wanna try some?'

'Okay.' He said, leaning into her straw. 'Oh… that's… something.' He winced.

'It's nice!'

'I don't think that would be quite the word I would use to describe it.'

'You have no taste.'

'Not in drinks anyway.' He winked.

'You're awful.' She laughed.

'Well I cant be that bad, otherwise you woudlnt be here.'

'True.' She pointed out. 'I guess you're tolerable.'

'Tolerable?' he repeated. 'I'll remember that.'

'Shu up.' She laughed, moving her hand back to his thigh. 'Anyway, I was thinking-'

'Now that's dangerous.' He teased.

'Shut up!'

'Okay, okay, shutting up.' He laughed, laying his hand over hers which rested on his thigh.

'This is still only our second date.'

'it is.'

'And while we're not in a normal timezone in the dating world, I think we should still try and make this a semi-second date.'

'Okay.' He nodded.

'So, last time's datey talk was us telling us things about ourselves the other one didn't know.'

'Indeed.'

'This time, we should do questions.'

'Questions.' He nodded.

'Uh-huh.' She nodded. 'Ask questions we want to know about eachother and we answer honestly.'

'This is intriguing.' He smirked.

'It is.' She agreed.

'What type of questions are we talking?'

'Any.' She shrugged.

'You go first. Give me an example, something to go on.'

'Okay.' She rolled her eyes. 'Is Imogen really your favourite sister?'

'Oh.' He laughed, unexpectedly. 'Yes.'

'She is?'

'Not by a lot. But yeah, I have a soft spot. Well, I technically think her and Liv share my soft spot.'

'They do?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Because they're younger?'

'Yeah. Imogen was probably my favourite when we were younger anyway, she was the baby and I liked looking out for her.'

'That's cute.' She whispered, trailing her fingers up his forearm which was resting on the table.

'When dad died I… they were so little.'

'Derek.' She whispered.

'Imogen was fifteen and Liv was seventeen…. They were confused, hormonal teenagers anyway…. Still kids… and then they didn't have a dad anymore.' He said quietly. 'I'm the man of the house now and I… They… they're my girls and I… I'd do anything to take care of them. Protect them.'

'They're lucky to have a brother like you.' She said gently, running her fingers from his forearm to his wrist and then to his hand where she entwined her fingers with his.

'I love them.' He said simply.

'I know you do. They love you too.'

'I know.' He smiled sadly.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sad.'

'It's okay.' He said. 'It was a good question.'

'You told Rose you didn't have a favourite.' She shrugged.

'I know.' He nodded. 'If I'd have said yes, she'd have asked why.' He said, looking up at her.

'Oh.'

'I don't talk about my dad. But with you…. I trust you.'

'I trust you too.' She smiled gently. 'My mom.'

'I know.' He said knowingly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She breathed, squeezing his hand. 'Your turn.'

'Okay.' He sighed, thinking. 'Why Dartmouth?'

'As far away from my mother as possible.' She giggled.

'Seriously?'

'Seriously.' She nodded.

'God I love your giggle.' He grinned.

'What?'

'You… when you laugh….'

'Oh…' she blushed.

'You're beautiful.'

'Thanks.'

'You are.' He shrugged.

'Yeah.' She whispered, gazing at his lips before leaning in slowly, capturing his tongue with her own, she tasted like tequila, and something uniquely Meredith. Her tongue glided over his and her hand reached into his hair, tugging slightly.

'Hmmm.' He moaned, his hand moving to her own bare thigh.

'Derek…' she whispered as she pulled him closer towards her.

'Mer…' he breathed into her mouth as his hand moved up and down her thigh. He was pretty sure there was no space between them as they continued to make out in the busy bar, he moved his hand to her other thigh, lifting it slightly and moving it over his knee so she was almost half sat on him. She moved her hand from his thigh to his hair and her hand that was in his hair began to run up and down his chest.

'Love you.' He whispered as they parted for air.

'Love you too.' She breathed before plunging her tongue back into his mouth.

'God…' he groaned, feeling his pants getting insanely tight.

'Getting turned on?' she giggled slightly, sucking at his earlobe.

'Ridiculously.'

'Good.' She smirked, moving back to his lips and tugging his bottom one between her teeth. 'Because I was thinking you could sleep over tonight?'

'Oh.' He gasped as she settled herself on his lap sideways, her legs across his as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

'Yep. I mean… not… we're still waiting.' She said. 'For the sex… but I was thinking… you mentioned other things?'

'Oh.' He choked out, feeling himself get harder and harder as she sat on him. 'Other things…'

'If you want to?' she said, moving her lips to his neck, beginning to suck.

'Definitely..' he nodded breathlessly.

'You're really tuned on..' she giggled.

'You… you turn me on.'

'That's a good start for tonight.' She nodded.

'It is.'

'But probably not for right now.' She giggled. 'So I'm going to get off you.'

'What? No.' he said, his arms tightening around her.

'Derek,' she giggled. 'You have a hard on.'

'Exactly so you cant move.'

'I am moving.' She giggled. 'We cant do this here.'

'Fine.' He sighed.

'I'm still sitting next to you. Besides, I'll pay your hard on lots of attention when we get home.'

'Mer,' he groaned. 'Not really helping.'

'Sorry.' She giggled, kissing him quickly before getting out of his lap and taking a sip of her drink. 'Okay, back to questions.' She said, leaning into him. 'Who's turn was it?'

'Yours.' He said, trying to ignore his painfully hard erection as his eyes couldn't help but travel to her breasts which were hugged perfectly by her top.

'Mine.' She nodded. 'Okay…. So… favourite drink after scotch?'

'Beer.' He said quickly.

'interesting.'

'Izzie or Cristina?'

'What?'

'Who's your favourite, Izzie or Cristina?'

'What kind of a question is that?'

'One I want to know the answer to.'

'You're a mean man, Derek Shepherd.'

'I know.' He winked.

'Cristina.'

'Seriously?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'But… she's mean.'

'She is.' Meredith nodded. 'But she gets me.'

'She does?' he asked softly.

'Yeah. I mean, Izzie is way too bright and shiny.'

'She is?'

'Yes. I mean, every needs a little bright and shiny, and I like Izzie, I really do. But sometimes…. Not so bright and shiny and more Cristina is good.'

'Interesting.'

'My turn again.'

'It is.'

'If you could go to one place in the world where would you go?'

'Ireland, Dublin.'

'Oh, I knew that.' She said.

'You did.' He smiled.

'Wasted question.'

'Indeed. It's my turn now.'

'You're annoying.' She giggled, turning and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

'Where would be yours? Your one place in the world?'

'Oh.' She said. 'Iceland. Reykjavík, the Northern Lights.'

'Wow.' He breathed.

'I want to see them.'

'They do look pretty amazing.'

'They do.' She agreed, reaching for his hand and pulling it into her lap. 'My turn.'

'Your turn.'

'Would you ever get a tattoo?'

'Me?' he frowned. 'No.'

'No?'

'No. Not my thing. Would you?'

'No.' she sighed. 'Not now.'

'No?'

'No. I probably would have done, in high shool, if I had the balls.'

'Yeah?'

'My mother would have hated it.'

'Ah.' He laughed.

'But, it doesn't wash off like hair dye.'

'It doesn't.' he agreed.

'And I… I would have regretted it.'

'You think?'

'Yeah, I mean. It would have been a cry for attention. But now… I… I'm different.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah.' She said, smiling up at him. 'I'm happy and… I'm happy. No need for angry pink hair or angry body stamps.'

'Definitely not.' He breathed, kissing her. 'You're beautiful. And you'll never have to cry for my attention.'

'Hmmm.' She smiled against his lips. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He whispered. 'I just want to make you happy.'

'My turn.' She said, smiling.

'What?! I didn't ask you a question.'

'Yes you did! You asked me if I would ever get a tattoo?'

'That wasn't my official question.'

'Yes it was.'

'No, it wasn't.'

'I made the second date datey talk rules and I say it was.'

'This is unfair.' He said, reaching for his drink.

'Shut up.' She giggled. 'It's my turn.'

'Fine.' He sighed, raising the glass to his mouth.

'Favourite position?'

'What?' he spluttered.

'Favourite sex position.' She clarified.

'Oh…'

'Come on, I want to know.'

'Probably cowgirl.' He said flushed.

'Nice.' She said, 'There's no need to be shy.' She teased running a hand through his hair.

'I'm not….' He said. 'Just wasn't expecting it.'

'We need to know these things.' She shrugged. 'I need to know what turns you on. And now I do, you like to watch.'

'Oh.' He breathed.

'You want to watch my breasts as I ride you.' She smirked.

'Yeah…' he whispered as she nuzzled herself further into him.

'Watching is hot.' She nodded.

'It is.' He agreed. 'Yours?'

'Favourite position?'

'Yeah.' He breathed, his hand moving back to her thigh.

'That's hard. I… reverse cowgirl is a classic. But I also like against the wall.'

'Against the wall?' he breathed.

'Yeah.'

'Oh.'

'You don't like it?'

'I've never done it.' He said sheepishly.

'That's okay.' She whispered, leaning to kiss his neck. 'We can do it together.'

'Yeah.' He said, feeling his pants once again beginning to tighten. 'I… Rose and Chloe… I haven't exactly… done… as much as you… Mer.' He said nervously.

'That's okay.' She said, kissing the same spot on his neck.

'I… not as much experience so…'

'Hey,' she breathed. 'Don't start putting yourself down or whatever you're about to do.'

'I'm not.' He shook his head.

'But you… you're probably used to better. I just don't want to let you down.'

'You.' She breathed, pulling away to cradle his face in her hands. 'Are not going to let me down, okay?'

'Okay.' He breathed.

'I've had…. A lot of sex.' She nodded. 'With a lot of guys. But it's not like you're a virgin, Derek.'

'I know.'

'I love you. So it will be amazing no matter what, okay? It will be amazing because it's you.'

'Okay.' He said unconvinced as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

'Besides, Cristina heard Rose bragging about how good you were in bed in the library once.'

'She did?' he said, shocked.

'Yep. So… I don't think you have any reason to be worried.' She smirked.

'Oh.' He breathed.

'She said you were big, which I already know-'

'Wha-'

'You have a hard on, Derek.' She giggled. 'And I have eyes.'

'Oh.'

'Very promising.' She nodded.

'Thanks.' He laughed nervously.

'And she said you were good.'

'Oh.'

'She said you were so good that I came when I went home, thinking of you.'

'Oh.'

'Yes, oh.' She said. 'So don't be nervous, okay?'

'Okay.'

'I think you're sexy.'

'I think you're sexy too.'

'And I cant wait to do dirty things with you.'

'I cant wait to do dirty things with you either.' He grinned.

'Well then, we need to know more.' She giggled. 'So, dominate or be dominated?'

'Oh, dominated.'

'Me too.' She breathed. 'But I also like dominating.'

'Me too.' He breathed.

'Your turn.'

'Technically I didn't ask you a question, you offered the information.'

'Fine.' She sighed. 'So you've never sixty-nined?'

'Oh… no.'

'Me neither. But I want to.' She said casually.

'Oh.'

'Do you want to?'

'I… with you… yes.'

'Good.' She grinned.

'I'm getting the impression being your boyfriend is going to be a crazy sexual adventure?' he laughed.

'Oh…' she whispered, her eyes widening.

'Crap.' He said. 'I'm sorry, I… it just slipped out…'

'Boyfriend?'

'I… Sorry, Mer… I don't want to freak you. God that's the last thing I wanted….'

'So that would make me… your girlfriend?' she said, suddenly smiling.

'Oh..' he said, surprised at her calmness. 'Yeah. Yeah.'

'Girlfriend.' She breathed, as if she was testing the word on her lips. '…Do you want me to be your girlfriend?'

'Oh.. if you… want to be?' he said tentatively, reaching to run his fingers along her arm.

'I… yeah. Yeah… I think so.' She smiled.

'Oh.'

'Oh?'

'Wasn't… expecting that…'

'Oh.'

'In a good way.' He added quickly.

'Oh.' She giggled. 'So… We're…'

'Going out.' He grinned. 'Officially.'

'Is that weird? That we're boyfriend and girlfriend before we've had sex?'

'I… maybe.' He said. 'Although I hadn't with Rose.'

'Nothing at all?'

'Well.. some things…'

'Oh.'

'But I love you, Mer.'

'I love you too. And I think the sex is going to be amazing.'

'Me too.' He whispered. 'You're making me hard just here.' He laughed.

'True.' She giggled.

'So, girlfriend?'

'Girlfriend.' She nodded. 'Boyfriend?'

'I'd love to be your boyfriend.' He breathed, leaning to kiss her hard and her hands immediately flew to his hair, bringing him as close as possible as she greeted his tongue with her own, mewing slightly as he ran his hands down her back and resting just above her ass.

Meredith Grey was his girlfriend, it was official.

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	29. Chapter 30

_Hi guys! Another update for you seeing as I seem to be on a roll with this story at the minute. Please review and thank you for reading!_

Meredith was buzzing. Her whole body was buzzing as she walked across to Izzie and Cristina's dorm. She had woken up naked, her limbs intertwined with Derek's as he slept softly. The night before had been amazing. It was strange how they hadn't even slept together but she felt closer to him in a way she'd never felt with anyone. After she'd sucked him off and they'd laid down, it hadn't been long until their pillow talk had led to more kissing, and more kissing had led to more orgasms. Derek was really good with his tongue, and his hands. And just thinking about them was making her horny again, which was not good considering she was on her way to see her friends. He was just so perfect and the whole night had been perfect, they eventually fell asleep tangled up in each other, sweaty. And when she woke up she had kissed him softly all over until he stirred and then she had jerked him off, much to his delight. She loved Derek. This was her conclusion. If she didn't know before she knew now. Except she did know before and now she seemed to love him more or something. It was weird.

She grinned as she walked through her friend's building door and up the stairs to their door. There had been some huge party at Addison Montgomery's house for the end of the pre med finals, which both Izzie and Cristina had gone to. So, to make up for missing the celebration last night Cristina had asked her to get pizza with them this afternoon, which was most likely because they needed greasy food and hadn't woken up until noon. It was two now, and Derek had only left her dorm an hour ago. They had spent the whole morning in bed, and not just doing foreplay, but talking and kissing and laughing and she didn't think she could think of a time when she had been happier.

'Hey,' groaned Cristina, answering the door.

'Hey.' Meredith laughed at the sight of her friend in her sweats with her hair tied up. 'You okay?'

'Apart from the fact I think I might be dead, yes.' She said, letting her inside. 'Although it would be nice if you could lose the grin, your teeth are blinding me.'

'What?' Meredith laughed.

'I know we haven't seen you since you and Brain Boy started…. Dating or whatever… but the happiness is already radiating off you like a disease.'

'Shut up.' Meredith laughed, putting her bag down and slouching on the couch next to Izzie who had a wet cloth over her head and her eyes closed. 'How you doing Iz?'

'Awful.' She replied, unmoving.

'I take it the party was good then?'

'Amazing.' Said Cristina. 'I mean, I know you two had a fight or whatever so no offence, but she knows how to have a party.'

'Was it busy?'

'Ridiculously.' Groaned Cristina into a glass of water.'

'The majors that finished before us were all there too.' Said Izzie.

'Fuck.'

'Yeah. It was crazy.'

'Did you guys have a good night though?'

'so good.' Said Izzie.

'Did Alex end up going?'

'Yeah but he puked so went home.'

'Alex puked?' Meredith laughed at the thought of Izzie's asshole of a boyfriend puking at a party.

'Disgustingly. Everywhere.' Said Cristina.

'What about you Cris, any guys?'

'Oh yeah, she hooked up.' Said Izzie.

'You did?!' gasped Meredith.

'Literally upstairs she didn't even bring him home.'

'Details, now.' Said Meredith, kicking off her shoes and folding her legs underneath herself on the couch.

'He was a premed major.' Cristina shrugged. 'Hot. Big, skilled.'

'What was he called?'

'Jack?' she winced.

'You cant remember?' Meredith laughed.

'Hey no judgement please from Mrs Slept-With-More-People-Than-Names-I-Can-Remember.'

'Shut up.' She said slightly more defensively than intended.

'So, I think he was called Jack.'

'Freshman?'

'Yeah.'

'Nice. What did he look like?'

'Tall, dark haired.'

'He was hot.' Grinned Izzie, her eyes still shut as she lay down.

'You're going to have to point him out to me.' She nodded.

'Pretty sure he's in one of my classes.' Said Izzie.

'Try and find out if he's actually called Jack.' Said Cristina. 'Mer do you want a drink?'

'Yeah please. Are we ordering in?'

'Yeah the menu's on the table.' Said Izzie, blindly gesturing to the paper menu on their small coffee table.

'So I can tell you're dying to tell us about Brain boy.' Said Cristina flatly from the kitchen, pouring Meredith a drink. She wished she could deny it, but the truth was, she did want to talk about Derek. She wanted to talk about him and tell them how amazing he was and how…. Perfect he was. She knew Cristina would roll her eyes, but Izzie would care.

'Oh my god I forgot!' Izzie gasped, sitting up and taking the cloth off her forehead. 'We haven't seen you since last week! I know you told us he was taking you out last night but I want to know everything.'

'It's really good.' She grinned, and she could feel her smile almost taking up her entire face.

'So, what exactly happened. Your text wasn't exactly very elaborate.' Izzie said as Cristina came back and handed a glass of soda to Meredith.

'Okay,' she laughed as Cristina took her seat in the arm chair. 'So, remember last Friday when you guys told me you heard Rose in the library bragging about how good Derek was in bed?'

'Oh yeah, that bitch.' Groaned Izzie.

'Well the night before he kind of fell asleep in my bed.'

'Nothing new.' Said Cristina.

'I know, but… it was the first time we slept together- like literally asleep sleep, since he'd been with Rose.'

'Since you realised you loved him.' Nodded Izzie.

'Right! So when I woke up and he was holding me… it all felt too much.'

'That sucks.' Said Izzie.

'It was awful. And then you guys told me what Rose said and I felt… I felt really shitty. Really shitty. And so I went to the Dublin and started drinking-'

'Oh Mer.' Said Izzie.

'I know.' She sighed, thinking back to how upset she had been. 'I was drinking and thinking about him and thinking about how much I wanted to be with him, and how much I hated Rose and pretty much thinking about anything related to Derek. And then I must have started crying because the next thing I knew he was next to me asking me what was wrong.'

'Wait- Derek was?' Izzie gasped.

'Yeah, he'd gone for a drink with Mark and the guys because Rose cancelled dinner on him and he saw me so came over.'

'So what happened?'

'I think she's about to tell us, dumbass.' Cristina retorted.

'I'm excited.' Hissed Izzie. 'This is exciting for Mer.'

'Oh, no.' Meredith laughed harshly. 'The next bit wasn't exciting.'

'No?'

'No. I was a jerk to him. I pushed him off me and refused to talk to him. I was… pretty horrible. I let his friend Mark take me home and left him there feeling like he'd done something wrong.'

'Took you home as in….' Cristina trailed off.

'Oh no.' Meredith said quickly. 'No. No. Mark… no. he literally took me home and helped me into my dorm. But then when I was getting into bed, Derek arrived.'

'He did?' grinned Izzie.

'Yes he did.' Laughed Meredith, a soft smile spreading across her face.

'Did you say sorry?'

'Yeah… he… he looked so sad. And so hurt. And even though I was upset I didn't want to hurt him. So when he sked me what was wrong… I just told him.'

'Wait what?' said Cristina. 'You did not tell Brain boy you love him.'

'I did.' She nodded. 'It was awkward and a ramble and I'm pretty sure it was the worst declaration of love in the history of ever. But I told him.'

'What did he say?!'

'He… Well, I told him I knew he didn't like me because he loved Rose and he… he told me he didn't love her. And then he… he told me he loved me and then we kissed.'

'He told you he loved you?!' Izzie squealed.

'Yes.' Meredith laughed.

'Oh my god!'

'I know. I was literally not expecting it. I was crying because I was so upset and then I was crying because I was so happy.'

'You cried?' Cristina raised her eyebrows.

'Cristina.' Said Izzie. 'Shut up.'

'I just cant believe you cried.' She smirked.

'Leave her alone.' Said Izzie, turning back to her. 'So then he asked you out?'

'I… yeah.' She breathed, not being able to hide her happiness.

'So how was it? The date?'

'Oh, well. We've been on two.'

'Two?!'

'Yeah.'

'Wait- what happened to Rose?'

'Oh, he went to her dorm after he left mine and broke up with her.'

'Jeez.' Said Cristina. 'Harsh.'

'Well we kissed…. A lot.' Breathed Meredith. 'He wanted to tell her straight away.'

'She is gonna hate you.' Izzie winced.

'I know.' Said Meredith.

'But let me guess you don't care because you love him.' Cristina mocked.

'Something like that.' Meredith replied seriously.

'Ignore her.' Said Izzie. 'So, when was this first date?'

'Oh, Saturday.'

'Wait- the next day?'

'Yep.' She giggled. 'It was amazing.'

'Where did you go?'

'He took me to the roller skate place, you know near the mini mart on Walker's Lane?'

'Oh yeah, I haven't been but apparently it's good!'

'It was really fun.' She breathed. 'And then there's a pizza place across the street so we went there.'

'That's so adorable.'

'Yeah.'

'Mer when did you turn into such a wet wipe.' Groaned Cristina.

'When are you going to shut up?' Izzie snapped.

'I… I know I've gone soft or… whatever…' Meredith said nervously. 'But I… I'm really happy and… you'd like him, Cristina… he's… he's so amazing.'

'If he makes you happy.' Izzie smiled. 'That's all that matters.'

'He does.' She grinned.

'So have you had sex with him yet? Is he good? He doesn't look like he'd be good. He's weedy, and a bit of a dork.' Cristina said before catching Izzie shooting her a glare. 'No offence.'

'No.' Meredith shook her head. 'We haven't… not yet. We did… things last night and this morning which were really, really good. But we haven't slept together yet.'

'You haven't screwed him?' Cristina clarified. 'You? You are seeing a boy and you haven't screwed him yet?'

'No. That's the whole point.' Meredith explained, questioning her answer to Derek's question regarding her favourite of the two friends. 'Derek's different.'

'Don't tell me you're doing the whole wanting it to be special crap.'

'What's wrong with that?' Meredith frowned, surprising Cristina by her offended tone.

'Oh… nothing… just… didn't have you down for it.'

'It's different with Derek. I love him and I thought you guys would be happy for me.'

'We are.' Insisted Izzie. 'Aren't we Cristina?'

'Yeah.' Her friend nodded, trying to sound convincing.

'Doesn't sound like it.' Meredith muttered under her breath.

'I'm really happy for you, Mer.' Izzie smiled. 'Derek seems great.'

'He is.' She smiled appreciatively at her friend.

'So tell me what happened after the first date.'

'Oh, well obviously we had to finish finals this week so it was weird, we studied together and stuff but we didn't spend any real time together until last night.'

'Where did he take you?'

'The bar on Clement street, you know the posh one.'

'Wait not Sphere?!'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'Apparently it's amazing in there.'

'It was really nice.' Meredith nodded.

'What did you order?'

'I had a Tequila Sunrise but Derek just had his boring Scotch.' She giggled slightly.

'Oh my god was it good? Apparently their cocktails are to die for!'

'it was so good. But Derek hated it.'

'Does he like tequila anyway?' Izzie laughed.

'I don't think so. So his opinion doesn't really count.'

'What did you wear?'

'Oh, my black skirt with the buttons up the front.'

'The silver ones?'

'Yeah and my green halter.'

'Nice.' Izzie grinned.

'And my black heeled boot things.'

'Hot! Did they ID you?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'Derek ordered at the bar and then after that they assumed we'd both been ID'd.'

'That's good.'

'I know.'

'So did you stay at his?'

'No, he stayed at mine.' She breathed.

'And there were…. Things?'

'Very good things.' She nodded. 'Amazing things.'

'I'm really happy for you, Mer.'

'Thanks.' She grinned. 'It's weird… I… I love him.'

'It's so cute.'

'It's annoying though,'

'Why?'

'We were in love with each other way before he started seeing Rose, but neither of us knew it.'

'Really? He said that?'

'Yeah.' She breathed.

'At least you're together now.'

'I know. He's great.'

'We'll have to go out sometime, the four of us. You, Me, Derek and Alex that is. We can leave Cristina at home.'

'hey! I heard that.'

'Whatever.' Izzie rolled her eyes. 'So are you seeing him later?'

'Yeah, we're having dinner with Sarah and Dan because they go home tomorrow.'

'Oh shit yeah.' Said Izzie. 'Wait, when are you leaving for summer?'

'Oh, I'm staying here for a week and then I'm going back to New York with Derek for a week.'

'Really?!'

'Yeah. When are you guys going?' she looked back over at Cristina who was scrolling lazily down her cell.

'Monday.' She said absently.

'Monday.' Nodded Izzie.

'Shall we go out tomorrow night or something?' said Meredith. 'The Dublin?'

'Will the boyfriend let you out?' Cristina said sarcastically.

'He's not my keeper.' Meredith said indignantly. 'But if you don't want to then that's fine.'

'Don't get your panties in a bunch.'

'Don't make jibes at my boyfriend.' Meredith countered.

'Fine whatever.' Cristina sighed. 'I'm sorry. But he is still kind of a dork.'

'Just because I have a boyfriend it doesn't mean I'm going to ditch you guys.' She shrugged. 'Derek wouldn't even want me to. And he might be a dork but he's my dork. So you're going to have to get used to it.'

'Alright no need to defend his honour or whatever, I don't dislike Brain boy. Just saying he wouldn't be my first pick.'

'Well he's mine.'

'Good for you.'

'So are we going out tomorrow? The three of us?'

'That would be great.' Said Izzie.

'Sure.' Shrugged Cristina.

'Right.' Meredith sighed labouredly. 'Are gonna order some pizza? Because I'm starving.'

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	30. Chapter 31

_Okay so I just finished writing chapter 32 and I think you guys are gonna LOVE it. (well, I do anyway...) And thank you so much to those of you for the kind reviews- they honestly make my day! But I wont keep you anymore... because I also think you're gonna love this._

Derek smiled down at his girlfriend who had her head in his lap looking out at the hills in front of them, her fingers tracing along his leg absently as his did the same in her hair. This was their last day in Hanover as freshmen; tomorrow they would go back to New York and then after their week Meredith would go back to Seattle and then when they came back they would be Sophomores. Their first year had gone so fast and he couldn't quite believe that the beautiful girl who sat next to him on the very first day of class was now lay with him in the park after a stroll and a picnic in the sun. She was perfect and smart and funny and he didn't think he'd ever been happier in his life. He ran his ringers through her hair before leaning down to kiss her nose gently.

'Hey.' She said, turning to look up at him.

'Hey.' He whispered.

'You okay?'

'Yeah.' He breathed as she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

'You're looking all thoughtful.'

'Just thinking how pretty you are.'

'You're cheesy.' She giggled.

'You love it.' He teased.

'I do.' She breathed, squeezing his hand.

'Are you still comfortable?' he said, shifting slightly.

'Yeah.' She whispered. 'Are you?'

'Yeah.'

'Good.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Have you packed yet?'

'No.' she sighed. 'Have you?'

'I've started.' He nodded.

'Of course you have.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' he laughed, squeezing her sides gently.

'You're just you.' She breathed. 'You're a lot more organised than I am.'

'That is true.'

'Hey- you're not supposed to agree!'

'But it is true!'

'Whatever.' She said, sitting up and moving to sit in his lap.

'Hey.' He smiled.

'Hey.' She giggled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

'Hmmm.' He breathed as her fingers ran through his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp slightly.

'Do you think it's gone fast? This year?'

'Very.' She nodded turning in his lap so she was facing back outwards to the landscape in front of them, his hands snaked around her waist as she leant into his chest.

'So fast.'

'Do you think next year will go as quick?'

'Probably.' He sighed.

'At least we have another four years of medical school after this.' She laughed.

'True.' He breathed, kissing her neck.

'Are you looking forward to living with Tim and Dexter next year?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'They practically live with us anyway.'

'True.' She giggled.

'What about you?'

'What?'

'With Izzie and Cristina.'

'Oh. I think I'd rather have lived with Sarah, but it's still going to be good.'

'You would?'

'Yeah I think so.'

'How come?'

'I don't know.' She sighed. 'It was nice to have a friend who didn't do premed.'

'True. It is all rather inbred.'

'It is.'

'It's like us having Dexter.'

'I know.' She giggled.

'I like Sarah.'

'Me too.' She breathed.

'I'm sure you'll still see her.'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'It's weird. At the beginning of the year I used to hate her having Dan over all the time.'

'I remember.'

'They were all gooey. And now we're gooey. I'm gooey.'

'We're not gooey.' He laughed.

'We are.'

'Well if gooey is the term you use for happy then fine we're very gooey.'

'Thank you.' She laughed. 'What time are we flying tomorrow?'

'twelve.'

'Hmmm, do you want to stay over tonight?'

'Sounds good.' He whispered, kissing just below her ear.

'You… have you told your mom?'

'What about?'

'Us.' She said sheepishly, turning to face him.

'Oh, no.' he said.

'Oh.'

'Not because I don't want to.' He shook his head. 'I wanted to tell her in person.'

'Oh.' She repeated, her face breaking back out into it's original smile.

'I think she'd kill me if I told her this over the phone.'

'Oh.' She whispered, moving her fingers to gently caress his cheek. 'Didn't you tell her about Rose on the phone?'

'Well yeah.' He nodded. 'But this is different.'

'Different.' She grinned.

'I… I don't know how to say this without you calling me cheesy or whatever-'

'Say it.' She whispered. 'I wont… I wont say it.'

'Okay,' he laughed nervously. 'You… I love you Mer. And not in a hasty, high school boy way or whatever… I… I think I fall more in love with you everyday. I cant imagine not being in love with you… ever.'

'Me neither.' She replied instantly.

'Really?' he whispered.

'I… yeah… I mean, I never thought I'd have a boyfriend. You know. I mean, I told you so many times that I don't believe in love, but with you… I cant imagine not being in love with you.'

'I love you.' Derek whispered. 'And your pizza eating, iced coffee drinking, rambling ways.' Moving a piece of hair behind her ear.

'I love you too. And your scotch-hardly-ever-drinking ways.' She giggled.

'Hey.' He teased. 'I drink it sometimes.'

'Whatever.' She laughed, leaning to kiss him. They sat there just close, for a while. Her head on his shoulder with his arms wrapped tightly around her as the sun shone down on them. It was a beautiful day, they had walked to the nearest park and Derek had made them a picnic with all her favourite foods in. Well, her favourite picnic foods- he had officially condemned pizza. He could hear her soft breathing next to him and it brought him a strange peace. It felt like they were the only two people in the world as they sat on the hill looking down at the lake and the trees in front of them. It felt like they were the only two people in the world and that was all he needed. She was all he needed. He knew it was crazy to be feeling this way but he felt like he was holding the rest of his life in his arms.

'Derek…' she whispered, not moving her gaze from the direction of the lake.

'Yeah?' he replied softly.

'Do you think it will be weird going home?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well we were only there three weeks ago and I was only your best friend and you had a girlfriend.'

'Oh.'

'I just… I don't want it to be weird.'

'It wont be weird.' He promised.

'You don't know that…. I mean they could hate me… your sisters… I… you had a girlfriend and now you're with me.'

'They like you.' He said, gently squeezing her.

'They probably think I'm a whore.'

'Don't be stupid. Of course they wont.'

'They might.'

'Meredith,' he said, lifting her off his chest to face him. 'I love you. And that's all they will care about.'

'It might not be.' She whispered.

'They like you!'

'They might not now… as your girlfriend.'

'You're still you.'

'I don't know.'

'I would say we don't have to tell them but then we couldn't be us.'

'True.' She sighed.

'I… I promise you it will be okay. And if it's not then we'll leave.'

'Where would we go?' she laughed.

'I don't know.' He shrugged. 'I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, Mer.'

'I like them.' She whispered, running her hand through his hair. 'I just….'

'Nervous?'

'Very.'

'You don't need to be.'

'But I'm your girlfriend now… I have to… good impression or whatever.'

'I just told you they like you!'

'I know.' She murmured. 'Just don't want to mess it up.'

'That's impossible.' He said, pressing a kiss to her lips gently. 'You're you.'

'I don't want to mess it up, Derek. Scare you away or whatever.'

'Is that what this is about?' he urged gently. 'Mer, don't ever think that. Okay?' he said, pushing a stand of hair out of her face. 'I love you. And no matter what comments my sisters make I will still love you and I will still want to be with you and take care of you, nothing could change that Mer.'

'You don't know that.'

'Yes, I do.'

'Derek.' She sighed.

'Seriously- if this worked like then surely my sisters would have put you off me already.'

'It's not the same, Derek.'

'Mer, do you honestly think my family could make me leave this? Leave you?'

'I don't know… maybe.'

'no.'

'No?' she looked at him hopefully.

'Never.'

'Okay.' She whispered, unconvinced.

'Would your family put you off me?' he laughed softly.

'Families don't like me Derek. My mom…. She'd probably put you off me.'

'Oh.' He breathed at the realisation of her thought process. Ellis was…. Something, he knew that. And he knew Meredith didn't get on with her, and that she wasn't exactly the best mother in the world. He knew it made her nervous and uncomfortable around families and he knew that she was new to the whole relationship thing. But it never occurred to him that she thought both his and her families could put him off her. Nothing could put him off her- not that he thought his family would try.

His mom would probably be pissed that he kissed Meredith before he had broken up with Rose, and he'd get a lecture on that. And he knew Claire would probably have something to say about it, but on the whole he was pretty sure once his family saw how much he cared about Meredith and how happy she made him, they would be nice.

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'I know it's crazy and we've only been together for two weeks, well, one officially- eight days, officially, but I… I cant imagine ever loving anyone but you.' He murmured gently, pulling her back against his chest.

'Me neither.'

'Hmmm.' He breathed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

'I love you, Derek.' She said softly after some moments of silence.

They had walked back to Dartmouth, which was a ghost town now finals had finished and summer had started, hand in hand with Derek carrying the picnic basket in his free hand. It was nearing six o'clock and even though they had only finished the last of their picnic two hours ago Meredith had told him she was hungry again. It never ceased to amaze him how much she could eat yet retain her tiny figure. Her dorm was beginning to look bare now Sarah had gone, but Meredith's mess seemed to compensate for the loss.

'Do Izzie and Cristina know what they've let themselves in for?' he laughed, picking a bra up off the floor near the couch.

'Shut up.' She laughed, walking toward him and picking it up.

'How did your bra even get over here?'

'I think I threw it when I was looking through my drawer.' She said, walking to throw it into her room.

'I see.' He said, putting the picnic basket on her table.

'Are you excited to go home?' she said, moving to sit on the couch and patting the spot next to her for him to sit with her.

'Yeah.' He said, moving to scoop her into his arms. 'I'll be happy to see my sisters.'

'They're probably all really excited to see you.'

'I did only see them three weeks ago.' He laughed. 'They'll probably be bored of me again after a day.'

'True.' She giggled. 'Your mom will be happy to have you home.'

'Yeah.' He breathed, his fingers running up and down her arm.

'I'm going to miss you.' She said quietly.

'Hey,' he whispered. 'Don't think about that, not yet.'

'I know.' She said into his shirt. 'But I will.'

'I'm going to miss you too.' He admitted, kissing the top of her head. 'But it's a week away yet, Mer. Don't think about it until we have to.'

'I know.' She sighed.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'And I know we're not thinking about it, but we'll make summer work.'

'Okay.' She said, unconvinced.

'I'm going to miss you like crazy, but we'll make it work.'

'How?' she whispered, snaking her arms around his waist as he ran his hand absently through her hair.

'I don't know….' He breathed. 'I mean, we can call.'

'It's not the same.'

'I know.'

'We've only been together a week, Derek. And we're about to go two and a half months without seeing each other at all.'

'I know.' He sighed. 'I wish Seattle wasn't so far away.'

'Me too.' She whispered, kissing his chest through his shirt.

'My Uncle Frank has sorted me some summer work, so it's not even like I can come out to be with you.'

'Doing what?' she breathed.

'He has a building business, nothing big. He said me and Mark could do alternate shifts with him on the jobs.'

'That's good.'

'Some extra money.' He shrugged.

'I didn't know you could build.'

'I can't.' he laughed. 'It's like I'll be doing anything important.'

'My lumberjack.' She laughed, reaching for his hand.

'I could get a checked shirt for the full effect.' He teased.

'I want pictures.' She giggled.

'I'm sure that can be arranged.'

'Thanks.' She giggled. 'I'm going to need something to work with when you're not around.'

'Mer!' he laughed.

'What? I will.' She giggled her hand moving down to his thigh. 'You better call- and not just during the day.' Her fingers squeezing at his thigh.

'I'll call.' He whispered. 'Every day.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

'Good.'

'If I'm sending you pictures of me in my lumberjack attire, I'm expecting pictures of you when you're going on a night out.' He said quietly, his hand trailing down her back to rest just above her ass.

'I think that's a fair deal.' She giggled, leaning to kiss the hollow of his throat. 'But I don't know how much I'll be going out.'

'Why not?' he asked gently.

'I don't know.' She shrugged. 'My friend Sadie… who I used to go out with, all we would go out for is to get drunk and hook up with boys.'

'You can still go out.' He breathed kissing her forehead. 'Get drunk and have fun all you want, although I do request no hooking up.' He laughed.

'That would be bad.' She laughed.

'It would.'

'I would never.' She said slightly more seriously. 'You know… other boys.'

'Me neither. Other girls, only you.'

'Only me?'

'Only you.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

'Good.' She whispered. 'I don't want to share you.'

'You never will.'

'Ever.'

'Ever.' He grinned. 'All yours.'

'And I'm all yours.'

'Good.' He whispered, kissing her.

'Not that I thought you would…. Cheat on me or whatever.' She breathed against his lips.

'Me neither.' He murmured before catching her lips again.

'I trust you.'

'I trust you too.'

'I don't… trust….' She breathed into his mouth.

'You can trust me.'

'I know…'

'Good.' He breathed as she deepened the kiss slightly, her tongue moving gently into his mouth.

'Mer...' he groaned softly, his hands traveling under her shirt, rubbing against the skin of her bare back.

'I love you.' She whispered, moving from her spot in his arms to lay on top of him on the couch, their bodies perfectly together as she pulled away from his lips and stared into his eyes, a smile playing on his lips as he ran his hands over her hair. 'Derek,' she whispered, 'I… I don't want to wait anymore.'

'You...seriously?' he asked quietly.

'Yes.' She giggled.

'Are… are you sure? Because you wanted to wait and we can wait.' He nodded.

'Derek,' she breathed, reaching to cradle his face between her hands. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He replied instantly.

'And I know this is more than sex, I _know_ that.'

'It is.' He breathed. 'So much more.'

'You… I feel safe with you, Derek. And I know you care about me and I trust you, I trust you not to hurt me.'

'I wont hurt you.'

'I know. I love you so much that it's scary.'

'it is?' he said, his eyes widening.

'It's scary because it's not scaring me. If that makes sense?'

'I…. I think so.' He breathed.

'I… love scares me Derek, but with you… I love you so much and I want to do this.'

'Only if you're sure?'

'You're not like other guys, Derek. I don't need another week of waiting to prove that, I already know.'

'I love you.' He whispered.

'I know.' She smiled gently, leaning to kiss him. 'And if we don't do this now then I don't know when we will. We cant at your moms.' She shook her head. 'And then… all summer, Derek.'

'I know.' He breathed.

'I don't want to wait that long.'

'Me neither.' He shook his head.

'I love you and I want to do this with you.'

'I want to do it too.'

'Good.' She giggled, leaning to kiss him again. The kiss was tentative, soft, like they were easing themselves into it. It didn't need to be rushed and it wasn't a crazy surge of hormones, it was about them. It was their first time, and she was kissing him so lazily as her fingers ran through his hair that it made his heart flutter. He moved his mouth away from hers, gently trailing kisses down the column of her neck as his hand moved to massage her breasts.

'Derek…' she moaned as he moved to pull at the hem of her top.

'I love you,' he breathed, trailing kisses along her now bra-clad chest.

'I love you too.' She whimpered as he moved to push her bra down gently, gasping as his thumbs ran over her nipples.

'Mmmmm,' he groaned as he flicked his tongue against her nipple.

'Der!' she gasped as he pulled her nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around her as she reached for his jeans and pulling them down his hips. 'I need you.'

'Fuck I need you.' He breathed as she dipped her hand into his boxers, trailing her fingers down his erection.

'Me too… I… really need… Derek…'

'God..' he moaned, shifting to her other breast.

'Derek…'

'Fuck Mer,' he groaned, gasping as she tugged gently at his hair with the hand not on his dick.

'Derek,' she whispered, pulling his head up from her chest to bring her lips crashing down onto his, their tongues battling as they rid each other of their remaining of clothes.

'Mer…' he breathed, brushing his fingers along her centre. 'Ready…. Are you ready?'

'I'm ready..' she nodded. 'I can see you're ready….'

'Yeah…' he laughed nervously as her hand tightened around his hard on. 'You're wet.'

'Been thinking about this... I'm ready, Der….' She nodded, pressing her lips gently to his.

'Okay…' he whispered, slowly pushing her back against the couch cushions. 'Condom.'

'Between the cushion and couch arm…' she whimpered.

'Got one.' He said after sticking his hand down the side of the couch to find what must be her and Sarah's emergency supply.

'Please, Der…' she whispered, wrapping her legs around his waist.

'Okay,' he whispered, ripping it open. 'Love you,' he said, capturing her lips and stroking her tongue and her fingers nimbly ran the condom along him.

'Love you.' She whispered, taking his hands and putting them on her breasts. 'I'm ready.'

'Okay.' He smiled, his eyes directly looking into hers, as he lay her down again.

'Okay.' She whispered, mirroring his smile.

'I love you.' He breathed, slowly slipping into her.

'Oh…' she almost choked as he filled her.

'Mer…'

'Wow….Derek…'

'Mer…' he gasped. 'Fuck…'

'You… you feel…' she choked.

'Amazing…'

'Amazing.' She agreed as he moved slowly in and out of her.

'Mer...Oh god...Mer... Fuck…' he groaned, as he rocked into her.

'Slow… please?'

'Slow…' he breathed as she clenched around him and moaned. 'God!'

'Shhh, baby… slow…'

'Slow…' he repeated, thrusting into her at a relaxed pace.

'I love you…' she whimpered.

'Love you too….' He mmurmured as her slick walls took his gentle pumps. 'I can do slow…'

'Oh Derek..' she moaned as he kissed her.

'Fuck…'

'Love you… so much…' she whimpered again as he increased his speed slightly. 'God…'

'Meredith..' he whispered, moving his hands down her body.

''You… so good…' she cried slightly. 'So good… Derek!'

'Oh Mer…'

'So deep, Derek… you… so big …so good….'

'You feel amazing…' he whispered.

'I love you…' she breathed before he shifted her slightly.

'Can I please… faster?'

'Faster.' She nodded, biting on his lower lip as her hands pushed him deeper into her, she was so wet and so tight and he was getting closer and closer.

'Oh god...oh...' she gasped as he buried himself deeper inside of her her with each thrust. 'Der...oh... faster… please faster….'

'Faster…' he breathed, bucking into her at a furious pace as she scratched at his back.

'Derek!' she almost sobbed. 'Please… oh! Oh Derek!'

'Fuck, Mer…. Fuck!'

'Oh my...' she gasped loudly. 'Derek...oh my god...I'm...shit...'

He moved his hands to her bouncing breasts as he thrashed harder and harder into her, desperate for her to come. 'Mer...Mer...' he chanted under his breath, feeling his own orgasm coming.

'Derek!' she screamed, pulling hard on his hair. 'Coming! Oh! Oh! God… Derek.. Shit! Derek oh!'

'Fuck!' he groaned, pushing into her continuously as he felt her orgasming around him. 'Come. Come Meredith, come.'

'Coming!' she screamed. 'Ah! Derek!'

'Oh…' he breathed as her muscles contracted, holding him in place as her orgasm washed over her.

'Come Derek!'

'Ohhhhh….'

'Baby, come…' she breathed as he continued to fuck her.

'Mer…'

'Come…' she whispered, her body feeling limp.

'Oh!' he groaned, releasing as his hips bucked. 'Fuck! Fuck Mer!'

'That's it..' she moaned as she felt him twitching desperately.

'Oh…' he breathed, slouching his body on top of hers.

'Wow…'

'Oh…'

'You… wow…. Derek….' She whispered, her fingers lazily running through his sweaty curls.

'Meredith…'

'Amazing…'

'I.. I love you..' he murmured into the valley between her breasts.

'I love you too.' She whispered, her voice wavering.

'Don't want to move.'

'Me neither….'

'Ever…'

'That's a bit impractical, Der.' She giggled.

'Shut up.'

'Sorry.' She laughed her trembling arms running over his body. 'That was amazing Derek.'

'I know. I love you.'

'I love you too. You… best ever.'

'What?' he breathed looking up at her.

'You… that… best ever.'

'Ever?' he whispered.

'Yes.' She leaned to kiss him. 'I love you so much.'

'I love you too.'

'I really, really love you Derek.'

'I really, really love you too.'

'You feel amazing inside of me.'

'It feels amazing to be inside of you.'

'I don't know how I'm going to go all summer without that.' she whispered.

'Me neither.'

'We can call… but you'll have to use your hand.' She giggled slightly.

'So will you.'

'Not the same.' She breathed.

'Definitely not.' He whispered, tipping his head up to kiss her. 'But it's only temporary.'

'I know.'

'When we come back I'll see you all the time.'

'Lots of sex.' She breathed. 'When we come back, lots of sex.'

'Tonnes of sex.' He promised.

'I think we should just skip the first week of classes and have sex all the time.'

'That sounds good to me.' He laughed.

'I love you.' She whispered as he shifted from above her to pull her into his arms as they lay naked on the couch.

'I love you too.'

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	31. Chapter 32

_Hey guys! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! I really hope you like this one, it's quite long as I won't be able to update for a few days. Thank you for reading as always and please review!_

Her fingers squeezed his so tightly she thought she might cut his circulation off as they sat in the back of the cab on the way to his mom's house. The flight had been relatively smooth apart from Mark falling asleep on the aisle next to Derek and snoring the whole time. She was really nervous to see his family again, even more nervous than the first time. She was Derek's girlfriend, _girlfriend._ She was Derek's girlfriend and she didn't have any experience at being a girlfriend, and she didn't think of herself as a girlfriendy person. But she was Derek's girlfriend and she was pretty sure his sisters were going to ask her a hundred questions and grill her to make sure she was good enough for him. She really wanted to be good enough for him, she would do anything for him and he seemed to think she was good enough for him for some twisted reason, but she wasn't sure his sisters would think so. They were normal and grew up with normal parents who loved each other, and she was pretty sure none of them had died their hair pink and slept with half the school when they were seventeen. She really wanted to make a good impression on them and she really didn't want to ruin what she had with Derek.

They had only been together for two weeks but there was no doubt in her mind that they had been the best two weeks of her life. She woke up every morning feeling happy, and she fell asleep every night feeling happy. Last night she had fallen asleep naked after four rounds of sex, her body tangled with Derek's. Sex had been…. Amazing. Mindblowing actually. The first time had been… unlike anything she had ever done before. It had been slow and passionate but at the same time it had been desperate and exciting. Sex had never been special before, but sex with Derek had been incredible. When he entered her she felt… whole or something. Derek being inside her just felt right. That was the only word for it. Well, amazing, breath taking, unbelievable, incredible, all worked rather well too. Then he'd woken her with a kiss that morning and they'd lazily made love until they only had an hour to meet Mark to go to the airport and realised Meredith hadn't even started packing.

She loved Derek. She loved Derek and she couldn't wait to spend another week with him uninterrupted, only this time in his home town. She'd never been to New York before, her mom had been countless times for conferences and big surgeries she'd been asked to perform, but she had never been herself. Derek had promised her they could do all the touristy things she wanted, like the Empire State and Broadway, but she was also excited to do things closer to his home. See where he grew up and the fishing spot he and Mark went to with his dad.

She felt him press a soft kiss to her temple as he squeezed her tense hand gently.

'Hey, stop being nervous.'

'I'm not nervous.'

'You are. You're overthinking. Stop.'

'I can't.' she whispered.

'They like you.'

'I know.'

'So don't stress.' She murmured, moving to kiss her jaw lightly.

'Stop with the dirty talk in the back will you.' Groaned Mark.

'Shut up.' Said Derek. 'We were doing no such thing.'

'Yeah, right.' His friend laughed.

'It's true.' Giggled Meredith.

'Might I remind you what I saw this morning?' Mark turned, raising his eyebrows as Meredith leant into Derek, immediately feeling a little more relaxed in his arms.

'You should have knocked.' Derek shrugged.

'You said you were finishing packing!'

'I was!'

'Yeah, finishing packing your dick into Grey's vagina.'

'Mark!' Derek groaned, gesturing to the cab driver who was pretending not to pay attention.

'The worst part is it didn't even stop you.'

'Shut up.'

'How you gonna keep it in your pants at mom's Shep?'

'Mark, shut up.' Her boyfriend said, making her giggle. He looked so cute when he was hot and flustered over something, and Mark walking in on their last round of sex this morning had definitely got him hot and flustered.

'Mark,' she laughed. 'Leave him alone.'

'You were just as much to blame!'

'It doesn't bother me.' She laughed. 'You know Derek doesn't like it.'

'Yeah well should have thought about that before lying about his activity.'

'Mark.' Derek groaned as the car came to a halt.

'Twenty-one please.' The driver sighed as Mark handed him a twenty.

'Shep you got a one?'

'Yeah one sec.' said Derek, moving an arm from around her to reach into his pocket. 'There.' He said, handing Mark the dollar.

'Thanks.'

'Don't be nervous.' Derek breathed, turning to kiss her softly.

'Okay.' She whispered.

'I love you, and this wont change that.'

'Promise?'

'I promise.' He smiled, kissing her again before Mark opened his door.

'Stop sucking face and get out here.'

'You know, I don't like you very much at the moment.' Said Derek, getting out the car with Meredith behind him.

'I don't like you in general.' Taunted Mark as he opened the trunk.

'Ha Ha.' Derek deadpanned picking up both his and Meredith's bags.

'Boys!' came their mother's voice from the door.

'Ma,' Derek grinned as he followed Mark down the driveway, Meredith closely behind him.

'Look at you with all your things.' She sighed. 'I cant believe you're home for summer already.'

'I know.' Said Derek, putting down his heavy bags before kissing Alison on the cheek and pulling her into a tight hug. 'Hey ma.'

'Hello son. I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too.' He nodded.

'I'm feeling so much love right now.' Said Mark.

'Oh you too you big idiot.' His mother laughed, pulling him in to a hug. 'And Meredith dear! It's so lovely to see you again! Derek says you'll be staying for the week before heading back to Seattle?'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith smiled after Alison let her go from an embrace.

'Surely that isn't all you've got to take home is it?' Derek's mom gasped eyeing Meredith's small case next to Derek's two large ones.

'Oh, no.' she shook her head. 'I'm going to get the rest of my stuff before going home.'

'Ah, I see.' Alison nodded. 'You're not going back to Dartmouth on your own are you?' she frowned.

'Oh, no. Derek was going to get the train with me.' She said nervously.

'Have you already booked the tickets?'

'Not yet.' Meredith shook her head, glancing at Derek.

'Well then, Derek you can take my car and take her back.'

'Really?' Derek breathed.

'Of course.'

'Are you joking?!' said Mark. 'You've never let any of us in that thing and if anyone was worthy it's me- I passed my test way before Shep.'

'You have your own car now?' Derek frowned. 'It makes no difference to you.'

'It's the principle.' Mark pouted.

'Whatever.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Oh boys stop fighting. I swear you're still kids at heart.'

'He's just annoying.' Said Derek, making a face at Mark.

'You love him really.' Meredith giggled.

'I do. Unfortunately.' He said, picking up their bags and turning to the door.

'Der!' came a squeal that Meredith knew instantly was Imogen as the four of them walked into the house.

'DerBear's home!'

'Hey,' grinned Derek as Imogen and Olivia rushed over to him.

'What about me?' said Mark. 'I think everyone in this house is forgetting that I am the best brother in this family.'

'Shut up Mark.' Olivia rolled her eyes, moving to hug him.

'See, you love me really.' Mark teased, squeezing her.

'I do.' She laughed before turning to Derek as Imogen alternated with her and hugged Mark.

'Hey Meredith.' Imogen smiled.

'Hey.' She said awkwardly. God dam it. Why couldn't she just be normal around his sisters. Especially his favourites.

'Mom said you're staying with us this week?'

'Oh. Yeah.'

'It's going to be so fun.' Said Olivia, coming to stand next to her sister.

'Er, why do you think you have anything to do with it?' laughed Derek. 'Mer's here to spend time with me, not you guys.'

'Oh shush Derek.' Said Imogen waving her hand at him. 'We like having another girl around. Besides, you're boring- she'll be sick of you soon enough.'

Just as Derek opened his mouth to respond, his older sister came through the door, joining them in the hallway.

'Jesus are you going to stand in here all day? I was sat I the living room waiting for you feeling like a goon.'

'Claire.' Derek laughed, pulling her into a hug.

'Hey bro. And you,' she looked at Mark.

'Hello trouble.' Said Mark.

'Since when have I been trouble? I think you're confusing me with her.' Claire laughed, gesturing to Imogen.

'Whatever.' Derek's youngest sister pouted.

'Why don't we all go in to the living room?' said Alison. 'I'm sure these guys are tired from their flight.'

'It wasn't exactly long haul, mom.' Claire laughed.

'I'm still sure they'd appreciate a sit down and a drink. Go on,' Alison nodded towards the living room door.

'Where's La?' said Derek, taking off his jacket and hanging it up on a hook as Mark moved their bags to the side.

'She's visiting Jake this weekend, sweetheart.' His mother replied as Imogen, Olivia and Claire had disappeared into the living room with Mark.

'I see.' Derek nodded.

'Can I get you both a drink?' Carolyn asked as Derek walked closer towards her. This was it. It was coming. He was going to tell her about them. He was going to tell her she was his girlfriend and things were going to get awkward.

'I'd love one thanks ma.' He smiled, standing next to her, untouching.

'A water?' she smiled.

'Yes please.'

'You like lemonade, don't you Meredith?'

'Oh, yes. Thank you.' She stuttered nervously. She had to stop being nervous.

'I thought so.' The older woman smiled. 'I got some especially.'

'Oh… you didn't have to do that.'

'Don't be daft dear. There are also some fresh cookies baked, I know how much you like them.'

'Thank you.' Meredith whispered.

'We'll come in and help you ma.' Derek said, putting a hand on Meredith's back as he followed his mom who had already turned to go into the kitchen.

When they reached the kitchen Alison got two glasses out of the cupboard and some ice from the freezer as Meredith stood awkwardly against the counter. She felt so out of place and so uncomfortable, but it was like Derek could read her like a book: his hand still resting gently on her back, his thumb rubbing small circles in an attempt to soothe her.

'I forgot to ask Mark what he wanted.' Alison sighed. 'He'll be alright with soda wont he?'

'Yeah I should think so,' Derek nodded at his mom before turning to her with a knowing look.

She gulped nervously and nodded, her hand reaching for his as his mom poured her lemonade.

'Actually mom,' coughed Derek. 'We er… wanted to talk to you.'

'Oh.' Said Alison, turning to them and Meredith saw her eyes darting to their linked hands.

'I… um…' Derek laughed nervously. 'Me and Meredith are dating.'

'Oh!' his mom grinned.

'What?' Derek laughed.

'You and Meredith? You're dating?' his mother clarified.

'Yeah.' Derek nodded.

'Is wonderful, Derek!'

'It is?'

'Why would it not be?' his mother frowned as Meredith relaxed into Derek a little, relieved by the positive reaction.

'I don't know.. I just expected you to make a comment about it being fast with Rose or something. It was only a few weeks ago you met her.'

'It was.' Alison nodded. 'But Meredith is perfect for you. I was wondering when you were going to open your eyes and see what was right in front of your face.'

'Oh.' Meredith whispered, her heart racing and she felt Derek's hand move from her back to her hip, pulling her closer to him.

'I know, ma.' Derek laughed. 'Trust me, I know.'

'I'm happy the two of you have finally figured this out.'

'Thanks.' Derek smiled squeezing Meredith gently.

'So is there anything that I should be asking about Rose? Or did it just fizzle out?'

'Oh. Well… I.. I'm not exactly proud, ma.'

'Do not tell me you cheated on the girl, Derek Christopher. I don't care how wrong for you she was-'

'It was only a kiss, ma. Well… multiple… but that's not the point.' He shook his head. 'It was just kissing and I went to see Rose as soon as it happened.'

'Hmmm.' His mom breathed. 'I suppose it could be worse.'

'I wish it had been better.' Derek nodded. 'But… we cant change it.'

'Very true.' His mom nodded, smiling again. 'I am very happy for the two of you.'

'Thanks.'

'Thanks.' Meredith whispered, squeezing Derek's hand.

'I wont hassle you with questions as I'm sure the girls will take over in that department.' Alison laughed.

'Oh.' Said Meredith.

'Great, just what we need- the Wolfpack.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Oh don't be too worried dear, they're going to be thrilled.'

'The sisters?' Derek raised his eyebrows.

'Oh indeed.' Laughed Alison, picking up their glasses and handing them to them. 'All I've heard in this house since you left last time is how much they wanted you to get together.'

'Really?' Meredith whispered.

'Oh yes.' She nodded. 'So there's really no need to be so nervous, dear.'

'I'm not.' Meredith shook her head.

'It's quite obvious. But you really don't need to be.' Said Alison. 'I told you not to give up didn't I.'

Meredith almost threw herself into Alison's arms as she smiled at her, winking. She'd never had a mom that cared the wat Alison cared about her children, and she'd never had someone be there for her or look out for her the way Alison did. She had cried to Alison about Derek and Alison had never breathed a word of it to anyone, and now things were good with Derek and Alison was congratulating her. Like she was on her side or something. And it made Meredith feel all warm and gooey inside.

'I know.' She grinned, tears pooling her eyes.

'I am very happy for you dear.'

'Thank you.' Meredith whispered as Alison hugged her.

'Now come on, Derek. Your sisters will be wanting all the gossip and no doubt will already hate that I'm the first one to know- don't want to keep them waiting even longer.'

'Okay.' Meredith said quietly, letting go of Derek's hand but following him and Alison into the living room where Imogen and Olivia were sat cross-legged on the floor and Mark was sprawled out on the couch, Claire sat on the other.

'Thanks ma.' Said Mark, smiling as he took the soda off her.

'No problem dear.' She smiled, sitting next to Claire.

'Mark move up you ass.' Said Olivia from the floor.

'It's okay,' Derek laughed, sitting in what had been his dad's armchair and putting his drink on the coffee table by it's side before gesturing for Meredith to join him.

'Poor Meredith shouldn't have to squidge on a chair with Derek, move.' Said Claire, throwing a newspaper at Mark.

'Yeah, ass.' Said Imogen.

'Girls.' Sighed Alison. 'Language, really.'

'Sorry ma.' Said Imogen, leaning to slap Mark's leg. 'Move.'

'For God's sake can you just tell them already Shep so I'm stopped being abused.'

'We have not abused you.' Frowned Imogen, hitting him again.

'First you ambush me about the flower with your five hundred questions and now you're hitting me.'

'That's not abuse.' Imogen shook her head.

'Wait-' said Olivia, hitting Imogen slightly to drag her attention from Mark to Meredith sat contently on Derek's lap, with his arms around her affectionately.

'Oh my god Derek!' his sister shouted, leaning to hit his legs instead.

'What?' he laughed.

'Are you being serious?' Imogen demanded and Meredith could feel her cheeks heating.

'I haven't said anything!'

'Exactly.' Said Olivia.

'Why is Meredith sat on your lap?'

'Why do you think?' he smirked.

'You ass! Why did you tell us?!'

'I was about to.' Derek laughed.

'You could have led with that.'

'I didn't realise you were so interested.' He shrugged.

'So how long has this been going on?' said Olivia, leaning back against the couch Mark was lay on as Derek wrapped an arm protectively around Meredith.

'A couple of weeks.' He smiled, kissing Meredith's cheek.

'Der…' she whispered, embarrassed at his display of affection.

'Two weeks and you haven't told us?!'

'Believe it or not Imogen, I don't have to give you a running commentary on my life.'

'Ha ha, funny.' She mocked.

'We were literally about to tell you.' He said.

'And you.' She turned to Mark. 'We've been sat here asking you about Rose and why she didn't want to come here and all the time you knew he was dating Meredith!'

'Hey don't blame me.' Mark shrugged. 'I was given strict instruction not to tell.'

'Of course you were.' Olivia rolled her eyes. 'This is so great!'

'It is?' Derek smiled.

'Yeah, we like her.' Nodded Claire.

'Oh.' Said Meredith, squeezing Derek's hand gently.

'I know.' Derek smiled. 'I do too.'

'So what happened?' said Imogen.

'Imogen stop being nosey.' Alison said.

'Well it's kind of intriguing how he went from having a girlfriend three weeks ago to now suddenly be dating Meredith- and they've been together for two weeks!'

'It's none of your business.' Alison shook her head.

'It is.' Pouted Olivia.

'I second that ma,' said Claire. 'Derek wanted to knew every detail when Lara started seeing Jake.'

'That's different.' Derek sighed.

'No it's not.' Claire frowned.

'Ma's only saying that because she already knows.' Said Mark.

'Mark Jeremy.'

'Sorry ma.'

'Ma?! Ma knows?' gasped Imogen. 'Mom and Mark know but us three don't- that is so not fair!'

'Totally not fair.' Nodded Olivia.

'Spill bro.' said Claire.

'Guys seriously.' Derek groaned as she curled into him slightly, feeling awkward being the centre of attention.

'To be fair to them they haven't shut up about you two since mom's birthday.' Said Mark. 'Feed their gossip need or whatever.'

'What do you want to know?' sighed Derek, tightening his hold on Meredith slightly as her fingers began to play with his hand nervously.

'Well what happened to Rose?' Said Imogen.

'Was she even real?' Said Olivia.

'Yes, she was real.' Derek sighed. 'Ma met her!'

'Oh yeah.'

'I dumped her.'

'When?'

'A week after ma's birthday.'

'For Mer?' Imogen grinned.

'It sounds bad when you put it like that.' He sighed. 'But yes. For Mer.'

'Oh my god that's so cute.' Olivia squealed.

'How did Rose take it? Did you tell her you were leaving her for Meredith?' said Claire.

'I didn't exactly tell her.' He sighed. 'As soon as I said we needed to talk she kind of guessed.

'Doesn't take a genius.' Imogen laughed.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Anyone could see how into each other you are.' She shrugged. 'We all knew at mom's birthday that you were in love with her.'

'Oh.' Derek breathed, squeezing Meredith's hand gently.

'So does she like totally hate you now?' grinned Olivia.

'Why are you grinning at that Liv?' he frowned.

'Drama.'

'I haven't seen her since.' Derek shrugged.

'Really?'

'Yeah, well, I saw her in the physics final but only from afar, no eye contact or anything. And then I think she was planning to go home on Friday straight after the last bio exam.'

'She's from Seattle right though, Mer?' asked Claire.

'Oh, yeah.' She said nervously, finally entering the conversation.

'She doesn't live near you or anything does she? She might come and kill you in your sleep.' Derek's older sister laughed.

'I don't think so.' She giggled.

'I still cant believe you knew.' Imogen pouted at Mark. 'After mom's birthday I thought you would at least keep me updated.'

'Sorry.' Mark shrugged.

'I hate you.'

'What has Mark got to do with anything?' said Derek, confused.

'We talked.' Imogen shrugged.

'About me and Mer?'

'Duh.'

'Wait, so everyone has been talking about this?' interrupted Derek.

'Pretty much.' Liv shot him a sarcastic smile.

'Well thanks.' He rolled his eyes. 'Bitch about me behind my back.'

'It wasn't bitching,' frowned Imogen. 'We were being nice.'

'Language please.'

'Sorry ma.' Imogen groaned.

'Der..' Meredith whispered, clutching his shirt slightly, her face bright red.

'Guys… can we just drop it?' Derek said.

'We were only being happy for you.' Imogen said defensively.

'And I appreciate that.' Derek nodded. 'But really… the questions, they can stop.'

'Fine.'

'I'm sure you'll find everything out over the course of the week.' He laughed gently.

'What have you guys got planned?' said Claire, smiling at Meredith.

'Oh, I've never been to the city.' Meredith smiled, attempting to come across at least half normal. 'So everything really.'

'That's fun.' Claire smiled.

'Being tourists.' Derek grinned, kissing the top of Meredith's head before squeezing her hand gently.

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'And you go back Sunday?'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'And then Shep's gonna cry like a baby.' Mark smirked.

'Shut up.' Derek said defensively.

'It does kinda suck.' Sighed Olivia. 'Seattle's not exactly close.'

'I know.' Meredith said quietly.

'When do you guys go back to school?' asked Claire.

'End of August.' Derek murmured rubbing a hand lazily up and down Meredith's back as she leant into him.

'Shit,' Imogen sighed.

'Imogen, really.' Sighed Alison.

'Sorry, ma.'

'I think I'm going to have to wash your mouth out one of these days. I always though Mark had the foulest language.'

'She learnt from the best.' Marked winked.

'Shut up.' Glared Imogen.

'Are you doing anything over Summer, Mer?' smiled Olivia.

'Oh, not really.' Meredith shook her head.

'That sucks.'

'I know.' She breathed, feeling a lot more relaxed as Derek's hand continued to rub her back and she curled into him further.

'Could you not just stay here? I mean, I know Der's working and stuff but it kinda sucks if you go back for no reason.'

'Oh.' She said, suddenly tensing. 'I.. I would love to but I cant.'

'Why?' said Imogen, detangling a set of earphones which were on the coffee table.

'Oh.'

'Guys,' Derek sighed.

'What?' shrugged Imogen.

'I… my mom's expecting me.'

'And it's none of your business.' Cut in Alison.

'Fine.' Imogen sighed.

'If you think about it, it's not really that long.' Smiled Claire.

'It kind of is.' Said Olivia. 'Ow!'

'Shut up.' Claire said, kicking her sister in the back from her spot on the couch.

'Shep's gonna cry like a bitch baby.' Mark laughed.

'Actually shut up.' Said Derek as Meredith felt her eyes pooling with tears. Derek's family were laughing and joking about their summer apart and they were joking. She knew they were joking. They were joking. Derek said they joked all the time. But it wasn't funny. Not to her anyway. She was dreading the following Sunday when Derek would take her back to Dartmouth and then her mom's driver would come and pick her up and fly her home.

She didn't want to say goodbye to him. She knew it wasn't like she would never see him again, but the thought of not seeing Derek for two months made her feel sick. She hadn't gone that long without seeing Derek since the start of school ten months earlier. The longest she'd gone without seeing him was a few days when he was seeing Rose or visiting home, and even then she wasn't his girlfriend.

She had become accustomed to falling asleep and waking up in his arms every night over the last two weeks, and touching him. Touching him all the time. Kissing him, having him kiss her and hold her. And in the last 24 hours sex had also become something she wasn't sure how she was going to cope without.

He had promised her he would call everyday and she believed him, and she knew she would get to talk to him, but it wasn't going to be the same. An hour on the phone didn't compare to a night watching movies in bed together, or spending any kind of time together for that matter. Mark was joking about Derek crying like a baby but she had a feeling she would be just the same or even worse. Hell, she was almost crying at the thought of it- let alone it actually happening.

Olivia had a point, she could just stay here with Derek and spend time with him when he wasn't working, nothing sounded more perfect. But her mom didn't know about Derek and she knew if she told her, Ellis would not be happy. All her life she had drilled into Meredith that she had to be focused and driven; the pink hair had only got so much of a reaction from her, but a boyfriend would be another story all together. Her mom told her that love wasn't real, and that men only dragged you down. They didn't respect you and they didn't do anything but distract and limit you. Except Meredith knew that wasn't true, at least of Derek. Derek was… amazing. He was amazing and perfect and she knew her mom wouldn't get it. Derek didn't distract her, or limit her, or drag her down, he did the exact opposite. He built her up and he helped her study and he cared for her every single day. But she couldn't risk her mom interfering and banning her from seeing Derek, or even worse… scaring Derek away from her.

She loved Derek and she wanted to be with him more than she had ever wanted anything. So she couldn't tell her mom about him and she had to go home and pretend like everything was normal. But it wasn't normal, because she was going to be without her boyfriend for eight weeks and it made her want to cry. She had wished she'd had a different family since she could remember, but right now, being sat in Derek's lap with her head resting on his shoulder as his arms held her tightly while his sisters laughed and joked around them, she had never wanted it more.

Alison had made a chocolate cake for after dinner, much to Meredith's delight, and they had laughed and talked about all kinds of things. Like Imogen's decision to finally go to college in Florida, Claire's new internship for the last month of summer and Mark and Derek's building job. It was nice, it was really, really nice, and while she'd been scared of coming back as Derek's girlfriend, he'd been right: she had nothing to worry about. It had been embarrassing at first with all the questions and the attention, but after that things had become extremely comfortable. She and Derek had just sat together while joining in the conversation as he pressed the occasional kiss to her head, or cheek, or lips if no one was looking. It was really, really nice. He had his arm around the back of her chair and his other hand rested on her thigh, her own covering his as she let out a slight yawn.

'Are we keeping you up, Grey?' Mark laughed.

'Oh.' She said, sitting upright from her slight lean into Derek. 'Sorry… I sorry… just tired from the flight.'

'Me too.' Derek sighed.

'The three of you have had a long day.'

'I'm fine.' Mark shrugged.

'Yeah that's because you slept the whole time.' Derek mocked.

'Maybe you should have done the same.'

'Ha! Chance would have been a fine thing!'

'Oh, God Mark.' Groaned Claire. 'You didn't snore did you?'

'No.'

'He did.' Said Derek. ' _Very_ loudly.'

'I did not.'

'You kind of did.' Meredith giggled.

'Hey- you're supposed to be nice to me.' He said, raising his eyebrows at Meredith.

'I'm sorry, but it's true.'

'Whatever.' Mark rolled his eyes.

'I can always go and sort the guest bed out if you guys want to head up.' Said Alison, smiling.

'Oh….' Derek said awkwardly.

'Nice try, Der.' Smirked Imogen.

'What?' said Alison, looking at her children.

'Guest bed?' Derek winced.

'Derek.' His mom sighed, shaking her head.

'Please ma.' He begged. 'I swear we wont do anything.'

'Derek, no.'

'Ma,' he pleaded.

'Derek, no. What you and Meredith get up to is your own business but not under my roof with your sisters in the house.'

'Ma, I swear we wont do anything.'

'Yeah right,' smirked Mark. 'Do you guys wanna know what I walked in on this morning?'

'Yes!'

'No!' Derek and Imogen shouted simultaneously.

'Mark,' Alison shook her head. 'Not at the dinner table. And no, Derek.'

'Please ma.'

'Derek…' Meredith said quietly. '…. It's okay.'

'Ma I wont see her after this week, please.'

'She's not dying, Derek.' Claire rolled her eyes.

'Shut up.' Derek said defensively as Meredith felt her cheeks heating again. 'You wouldn't get it.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Claire said bitterly.

'You know I didn't mean it like that.' Derek groaned.

'You sounded like you did.'

'Look I didn't mean anything about you and Tom.'

'Whatever, Derek.' His sister snarled, and Meredith sensed her boyfriend had hit a sore spot.

'Fine.' He sighed. 'Please Ma, I swear, I _swear_ we wont do anything.'

'Yeah right.' Laughed Mark. 'Seriously this morning I thought Meredith was being attacked or something the sounds she was making-'

'Mark!' Derek snapped. 'We don't do anything, will we Mer?' he said, turning to her before back to his mom.

'No.' Meredith shook her head. 'Definitely not. But if you don't want us to…'

'Please, Ma.'

'Derek.' Alison shook her head.

'I just want to hold her.' He said quietly.

'Oh my god pass me a bucket.' Said Claire.

'Please.' Derek begged his mother.

'Fine.' Alison sighed. 'But if I hear of _anything_ then you are straight in that guest bed, Derek Christopher.'

'Of course.' Derek nodded. 'Thank you, Ma.'

'Go up before I change my mind.' His mother sighed as he leaned to press a kiss to her cheek.

'Thank you, Mrs. Shepherd.' Meredith nodded, standing from the table with Derek.

'It's Alison, dear.' She laughed. 'And you're welcome. Now, go on you two.'

'Night, Ma.'

'Good night sweetheart.' Alison smiled at Derek.

'Night.' Meredith smiled at Derek's sisters and Mark.

'Night.' Liv and Imogen smiled.

'Keep it in your pants Shep!' called Mark as they left the kitchen and made their way up the stairs, Derek carrying the bags.

'That was intense.' Meredith said quietly.

'I know.' Derek sighed. 'You okay?'

'Yeah…I… yeah.' She nodded as they reached his room. They had a whole week left together. A week. She couldn't let his sister's jokes ruin the time she had left with him.

'You sure?' he said, pulling her into his arms as they stood in front of his bed.

'Yeah.' She nodded, kissing him softly.

'Hmmm…' he groaned against her lips, deepening the kiss slightly to massage her tongue with his as his arms went around her back.

'Love you.' She whisperd.

'Love you too.' He grinned. 'I've been waiting hours to do that.'

'Me too.' She giggled, yawning again.

'Come on, lets get you into your pjs then sleep. We can unpack in the morning.'

'Okay.' She whispered, another yawn taking over her.

'There you go.' He said, passing her her pyjamas from her case.

'Thanks.' She whispered, shutting his bedroom door before slipping off her jeans.

'I'm so tired.' He sighed, pulling his own pyjama pants on.

'Me too.' She nodded, slipping her bra off and pulling her Dartmouth top on that she slept in.

'It's amazing how much travelling takes it out of you.'

'I think it was more the lack of sleep last night.' Meredith giggled.

'True.' He laughed. 'That's your fault.'

'Mine?!' she gasped, folding her clothes and placing them on his chair. 'You're the one who kept getting hard!'

'Because you're too sexy for me to resist!' he protested.

'Oh please, you need some self control.' She said, climbing into his bed.

'You need to stop enticing me.' He retorted, getting in beside her and scooping her into a spooning position.

'Hey,' she giggled, turning in his arms.

'What?' he smiled as she faced him, cuddling into his chest.

'No sleep yet.'

'I thought you were tired?' he laughed.

'I am.' She giggled. 'Cuddle.'

'Oh.' He nodded, smirking.

'Love you.' She whispered, pressing a kiss to his neck.

'I love you.' He murmured into her hair before kissing the top of his head.

'So much.' She breathed, her eyes drifting shut as she rested her head on his chest.

'So much.' He repeated, squeezing her to him.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review X_


	32. Chapter 33

_Hi guys, thank you for reading and I'm sorry I haven't been able to update for a few days. I'm going to try my best to keep updating regularly but I have my final exams these next few weeks so it might be a bit harder, just a pre-warning/apology. Thank you for reading and pleaseeeee leave me a review! (Also if you're a guest it would be really nice for you to leave a name even if its not your own, just so I can see who's coming back/get to know you guys a bit better and what you're liking.)_

'Morning,' Derek murmured as his girlfriend stirred in his arms, looking up at him.

'Hey,' she breathed, reaching up to kiss him gently.

'You sleep well?' he said, running a hand over her hair.

'Yeah.' She yawned slightly.

'You don't sound like it.' He laughed, pressing his lips to hers.

'Still waking up or whatever.'

'I see.' He smiled as she nuzzled into his chest.

'You're comfy.'

'I am?' he breathed, running a hand along her back and creeping up the back of her shirt to feel her bare skin.

'Yes.' She said, running her own hands around him.

'Good.'

'Very comfy.' She nodded.

'You feel good too.' He said honestly, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

'Hmmm.' She sighed happily.

'What do you want to do today? The city?'

'Sounds good. Empire state and Times Square?'

'Perfect.'

'Can we see a show before I go?'

'Of course.'

'Wicked or Chicago?'

'Wicked. Wicked every time.'

'Have you seen them both?' she giggled.

'Living in New York with five women, of course I've seen them both.'

'True.' She giggled.

'We can check the times and prices today.'

'Okay.' She breathed.

'Are you hungry?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Would you like me to make you pancakes?'

'This is why I keep you around.' She smiled, leaning back up off his chest to capture his lips.

'Hmmm…' he smiled into kiss, rolling her on top of him and running his hands up her back as she nestled her fingers in his curls.

'Food.' She grinned, pulling away.

'All you think about.' He laughed, reaching to kiss her again quickly before she rolled off him, pushing him out of the bed.

'Hey,' he laughed, standing up and picking up a hoodie from the floor and throwing it to her before picking up his own and shoving it over his head.

'Do I need to get dressed to go downstairs?' she asked, pulling his navy blue hoodie over her head and her hair out of the hood.

'No.' he shook his head. 'Maybe put some socks on though.'

'Okay.' She smiled, climbing out of bed and searching through her bag for some socks.

'You good?' he asked as she stood up from the bed having put them on her feet.

'Yeah.' She breathed, kissing him quickly before following him to the kitchen were Imogen, Olivia and Claire were sat at the table, eating.

'Hey.' Said Derek.

'Hey.' All three turned to look at them.

'Hey.' Smiled Meredith, letting go of Derek's hand as he pulled a chair out for her, opposite his sisters.

'Blueberry or chocolate chip?' he asked, brushing her hair behind her ear softly.

'Chocolate chip.'

'Of course' he laughed, kissing her quickly before moving to the fridge.

'Did you guys sleep well?' said Olivia before spooning some cereal into her mouth.

'Yeah, really good.' Meredith nodded.

'You couldn't hear Mark snoring through the walls then?' Claire smirked.

'Oh, no.' Meredith giggled slightly. 'He is loud though.'

'So loud.' Imogen rolled her eyes. 'He's a literal foghorn.'

'Where is he anyway?' said Derek, coming back to place a glass of orange juice in front of Meredith.

'Thanks.' She whispered, smiling at him. He kissed her nose quickly before grinning at her and going back to the stove.

'Still in bed.' Sighed Imogen.

'What about Ma?' he asked.

'She went to pick Lara up from the airport.'

'Oh shit yeah.'

'She'll probably be all mopey.' Groaned Claire.

'What time did she land?'

'nine?' Imogen turned to Olivia.

'Yeah, she flew at like sevenish I think.' Nodded Olivia.

'Where does he live?' asked Meredith.

'Jake? Pittsburgh.' Said Imogen.

'That's not too far I guess.'

'Better than like- what is it five hours something to Seattle?'

'Yeah.' Meredith sighed.

'She sees him quite a lot in the holidays anyway.' Said Olivia. 'He has a temporary job in an office but one of them flies or gets the train to the other most weekends. And then they live with each other at Columbia so it's not ideal but it could be a lot worse.'

'That is good.' Meredith nodded.

'What are you guys doing in the city today?' smiled Claire.

'Oh, Empire State building, Times Square and then we don't know what else.' Meredith said nervously, taking a sip of her orange juice.

'I love the city.' Imogen groaned around her slice of toast.

'Me too.' Said Liv.

'You're so lucky you literally live in it.' Said Imogen.

'This is why NYU is the best, close to home but in the city.' Liv grinned.

'Shall we see if Lara wants to go shopping tomorrow? Stop her from moping about Jake?' said Claire.

'Sounds good.' Imogen nodded. 'Do you guys wanna come?' she turned to Meredith.

'Oh. Der?'

'What?' he turned from the pan.

'Do you want to go out with your sisters tomorrow?'

'Not really.' He shrugged.

'Hey!' said Imogen.

'DerBear that was mean.' Pouted Liv.

'You're annoying.' He replied, plating up Meredith's pancakes.

'It could be fun.' Said Claire. 'We could show Mer some of the city that you guys don't do today?'

'If Mer wants to.'

'Oh. I… I don't mind.' She stuttered. 'Whatever's good by me.'

'Okay.' Said Derek, walking back with a plate of pancakes and bottle of chocolate sauce for her. 'But not all day. We wanted to watch a show so maybe we could go at lunch and then me and Mer could see a show before dinner?'

'Ooooo I want to watch a show!' said Imogen.

'Me too!' said Olivia. 'We haven't been to see anything in ages.'

'You are not coming.' Derek shook his head, sitting next to his girlfriend with a bowl of oatmeal.

'Der.' Olivia pouted.

'Liv.' He pouted back.

'You're being very anti-social.'

'I want to spend time alone with my girlfriend! I'll see you guys everyday after she goes.'

'Whatever.'

'We could do shopping and lunch though?'

'I think that's a good idea.' Claire nodded. 'We could always go to a show on our own if Mer and Derek want some time alone.'

'Chicago.' Imogen replied instantly.

'Oh! Yes! Chicago!' gasped Olivia.

'I'll text La and see if she wants to come too.'

'Morning.' Said Mark, coming through the door.

'Hey.' Said Derek.

'Oh finally he wakes from the dead.' Imogen smirked.

'Excuse me, you haven't been up that much longer than me.'

'We've been up ages.' She frowned. 'We just couldn't be bothered making breakfast until now.'

'Yeah well you're weird. Summer is meant for late mornings.' He groaned, pulling the orange juice carton out of the fridge and drinking straight from it as he slumped next to Derek.

'You're disgusting.' Olivia winced.

'Like you've never done it.' Mark taunted, drinking from the carton again. 'Where's ma?'

'Gone to get La.' Said Claire.

'Oh.' He nodded. 'Well, at lease I didn't hear any moanin' and groanin' from Shep's room last night, unless anyone else did?'

'Ew.' Said Derek.

'Mark.' Frowned Claire. 'Don't really want to know.'

'Well that's nice for you. You didn't walk in on them yesterday morning.'

'How often are you gonna bring that up?' groaned Derek, sensing Meredith feeling awkward.

'Hey- man, I'm glad you're finally getting laid properly and everything, I really am-'

'Mark.'

'I just don't want to see it.'

'Like I haven't had to see you practically fuck girls in front of me.'

'That wasn't practically fucking.' Mark shook his head. 'That was you outright fucking her in front of my very eyes.'

'Mark!'

'Mark it is a bit disgusting to keep bringing it up.' Said Olivia. 'Like, I like that you two are together or whatever and no disrespect…' she turned to Meredith and Derek. 'But I don't really want to hear about my brother having sex.'

'Thank you.' Derek groaned.

'At least Derek's finally getting some.' Imogen shrugged.

'Imogen!' gasped Claire.

'What?' she shrugged.

'Alright, you can stay in my room ready for when they go at it.' Said Mark.

'Mark will you shut the fuck up?' said Derek.

'I'm only joking.' He shrugged.

'Shut up.'

'Fine.' Mark rolled his eyes. 'But I still don't believe you'll go the whole week without fucking.'

'Not really any of your business though, is it?' Derek retorted.

'Is if I have to hear and see it.'

'Maybe you should have knocked.'

'Maybe you should have been packing instead of impaling Grey.'

'Ewwwww, Mark.' Winced Claire. 'Seriosuly.'

'I have to say, I was kind of impressed.' Said Mark. 'Rose was a bit tame in the bedroom, nothing like what I saw.'

'How would you know?' Imogen frowned.

'I heard them.' Mark shrugged.

'Seriously can we stop talking about mine and Meredith's sex life and Rose?' sighed Derek, seeing how red Meredith had gone, stabbing at her pancakes awkwardly.

'Fine.' Said Mark.

'Thank you.' He said, moving the conversation on quickly to inviting Mark to the shopping trip with Lara, letting his sisters take over. 'You okay?' he moved closer to Meredith, kissing her temple.

'Yeah.' She said quietly.

'I'm sorry about the sex thing.' He whispered, kissing below her ear.

'It's okay.'

'It's not. But I'm sorry.'

'It's okay. Awkward… but okay.'

'I don't want you to feel awkward.' He murmured, kissing her cheek.

'I know.' She whispered. 'I'm fine.'

'Okay. You sure?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, kissing him softly.

'Okay.' He smiled, pressing his lips to hers once more before pulling her to sit on his lap and moving her pancakes in front of them. 'Love you.' He whispered.

'Hello!' came Alison's voice through the door.

'Hi!' shouted Olivia.

'Oh good morning dears,' said Alison coming through the door, Lara following with her bag over her shoulder.

'Hey,' smiled Derek, taring his eyes from Meredith.

'Hey bro.' smiled Lara, putting her bag down. 'Hey Meredith.'

'Hey.' She smiled as Derek's fingers stroked her thigh lazily.

'Oi!' said Imogen as Lara bit into a piece of her toast.

'I'm hungry!' Lara pleaded with her mouthful.

'Fine.' Imogen sighed.

'I wasn't expecting you two to still be here.' Said Alison to Meredith and Derek. 'I thought you'd have been off for your day of sightseeing by now.'

'Oh, we're going pretty much as soon as we're ready. And we've almost finished eating.'

'I see. What have you got in mind today?'

'Empire state and Times Square.' Continued Derek.

'I believe congrats are in order.' Smiled Lara. 'You two are cute together.'

'Oh, thanks.' Blushed Meredith.

'We all totally knew it would only be a matter of time before you got it together anyways.'

'Apparently so.' Derek laughed, leaning to kiss Meredith's cheek as he squeezed his arms around her.

'How's Jake?' said Claire.

'Same old.' Lara shrugged.

'Is he coming up this weekend?' asked Olivia.

'Yeah, on the train Friday night.'

'That's good.' She nodded. 'We were talking to Mer and Derek before and we were thinking the seven of us could go into the city tomorrow? Lunch and shopping and stuff?'

'Ooooo. All of us?'

'Yeah. We kinda wanted a girls day to get to know Meredith better but it appears Derek wont let her out of his sight so we've invited him and the ass.'

'Hey.' Said Mark.

'Olivia, language.'

'Sorry, ma.'

'That sounds fun.' Nodded Lara.

'Leave your brother alone, girls.' Said Alison, standing up to go to the stove. 'He's smitten.'

After breakfast, Meredith and Derek had washed and changed before taking the train into the city. Meredith had told him she wanted to everything they could in their week here, and while there were endless things to do in New York, Derek knew she would be back again at some point so it wasn't that big of a deal. She looked so beautiful in her purple sweater and black jeans with her hair in its normal loose ponytail. Her hand was interlaced with his and she had showered him with soft kisses on the train ride as they had stood, him holding the railing as she cuddled into him to stabilise herself.

As they pulled into their stop she had giggled and kissed him deeply, only pulling away as the doors opened and he didn't think he had ever been happier. It was a nice day and they didn't even have jackets on them, it was sunny and somehow Meredith looked even prettier in the summer than she ever had before. Her eyes were sparkling and she was so bubbly and it made his heart swell seeing her smile so much.

'Okay, so here we are.' He said, stopping them at the Empire State Building.

'Wow.' She breathed as people passed them hurriedly on the street.

'Impressed?'

'Very.' She grinned.

'Shall we go up?'

'Definitely.' She giggled. 'Come on.' She pulled on his hand.

'Okay.' He smiled.

'Is it as good as I think it's going to be?'

'Better.' He smiled, as they went through the door.

'I'm excited.'

'Me too.'

'You've seen it before.' She laughed.

'It will look better with you.'

'Oh.' She breathed, leaning to kiss him, her tongue delving into his mouth as her hands moved to his hair.

'Oh…' he moaned into her mouth.

'Love you.' She whispered.

'Love you too.'

'You're cheesy but I love you.'

'Shut up.' He laughed as he pulled her to the counter.

'Hi, can we have two tickets to floor eighty six please?' he said reaching for his wallet.

'Of course, sir.' The young girl behind the counter nodded.

'Der, I'll get it.' She said, reaching into her purse.

'No, Mer, on me.'

'Derek.' She sighed. 'Let me get it.'

'Meredith, it's expensive.'

'I know.' She shrugged, getting out her card.

'Mer,' he sighed.

'Derek, I wanted to do it.'

'I know but-'

'You never let me pay for anything.'

'But this is expensive.'

'I know.'

'Mer…'

'Derek, I'm paying.' She said, giving her card to the girl.

'That's sixty eight dollars please.'

'Thanks.' Smiled Meredith.

'Thanks, you can remove your card now.'

'Thanks.' Meredith repeated as the girl got them wristbands out of the drawer.

'Thank you.' He whispered, leaning to kiss her cheek.

'You're welcome.' She breathed, kissing his lips quickly before turning back to the woman.

'There you go.' She smiled. 'Enjoy the view.'

'Thanks.' Said Derek as they took their wristbands and headed toward the observatory sign.

Once they reached the top, Meredith was pulling on his hands and grinning at the view. She pulled him over to the window and grabbed his hands to rest them under her own around her mid-section and leaned back against his chest. Her hair smelled like lavender and he nuzzled her, pressing soft kisses to her neck as she gazed out at the vast city.

'It's so big.' She whispered.

'I know. It's crazy.'

'It really is. I've always wanted to visit New York.'

'You can come as often as you want now.' He murmured.

'I know.' She whispered, her eyes not moving from the view.

'Hmmmm.' He breathed.

'Do you ever just look out and wonder what's happening in the buildings?'

'The people inside them.' He nodded.

'Their lives.'

'What they're doing.'

'Where they're from.'

'What they're going through.' He breathed into her hair.

'Life is weird.'

'It is.' He agreed.

'Do you ever wish you could be someone else just for one day?'

'I haven't. But I think I'd like to.'

'Me too.'

'A complete stranger though.'

'Me too.'

'From somewhere completely different.'

'A totally different life.'

'Yeah.'

'Yeah.' She breathed, sinking into his chest.

'Only for a day though,' he whispered, squeezing her. 'I'd miss you too much.'

'Derek…' she laughed.

'This is the part where you're supposed to say you'd miss me too much too.'

'Fine. I'd miss you too much.' She rolled her eyes.

'Why am I detecting sarcasm.' He chuckled into her ear, kissing just below it.

'I have no idea.' She giggled, turning her head to kiss him gently but passionately, sucking on his lower lip.

'I love you.' He whispered into her mouth.

'I love you too.' She whispered.

'Do you want to walk around the other side?'

'Yeah.' She smiled.

'Let's go.' He said taking her hand and squeezing it softly.

'Is there a best spot?'

'it depends.'

'On what?'

'The time of day mostly, for sunset. But it's the middle of the day, so I would say this way is the best view.' He breathed, positioning her at the railing.

'Oh.' She breathed. 'Wow.'

'I know.'

'It's amazing.'

'I know.' He murmured, pulling her back into his arms, kissing her cheek.

'It's like Seattle but… bigger.'

'It is?'

'Yeah. I don't know it feels… not physically bigger but just…. Bigger.'

'Is this like the Space Needle?'

'Kind of.'

'Kind of?' he laughed.

'Well it's obviously the same thing.' She giggled. 'But New York… more exciting than Seattle.'

'It's very busy.'

'Exciting.'

'I've never been to Seattle. Not even Washington.'

'Have you ever wanted to?'

'Not particularly.' He shrugged. 'But I do now I have you.'

'You are ridiculously cheesy today.'

'You're reason enough for me to want to go anywhere.'

'Derek stop.' She giggled.

'No.' he laughed. 'You're bad at taking my compliments.'

'Exactly so you should stop.'

'No, the exact opposite.' He said. 'I need to keep giving you them until you can take them.'

'You're weird.' She giggled.

'No I'm not. I just love you. And you don't see how amazing you are.'

'Derek, literally stop.' She laughed, nudging him.

'Fine, I'll stop for now, but don't you think there aren't more coming.'

'Whatever.' She laughed, walking away from him and pulling his hand to follow her around the observatory.

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	33. Chapter 34

_Hi guys, here is another chapter for you! Thank you for reading and thank you for the two reviews on the last chapter, pleaaseeeeee leave me one! I'm not sure when I'll next be able to update due to exams- but hopefully soon!_

Meredith sighed as she placed her toothbrush back in the cup in Derek's bathroom, wiping her mouth with the hand towel. Her hair was in it's usual loose pony tail and she'd just removed the little make up she'd been wearing. She and Derek had spent the day in Manhattan, near his house, and he'd taken her on a more local tour of his life. Showing her to what used to be his dad's store where he and Mark had worked with him up until he got too sick to keep it. Then he had shown her his and Mark's high school, where Imogen had just graduated from, and then he had shown her his mom's church. It was nice. She imagined Derek to have had the kind of life she'd only dreamed of as a kid. They had walked hand in hand around his childhood town as he shared memories with her about Mark, his siblings, his parents, his friends, and she felt like throughout the week she had come to know and love him more and more every day.

The day before they had gone to the city with his sisters and Mark and gone shopping and for lunch at some diner that she couldn't remember the name of. She'd sat with Derek on the train despite his sisters and Mark's jokes about them being joined at the hip. At first, she had been shy about her relationship with Derek and being affectionate with him in front of his family, but over the last three days she had come to not care. She knew they didn't mean anything by it and were only teasing their brother, but every time they made a joke she didn't pull away from him, she actually leant in closer. Or kissed him softly, or nuzzled his neck, or wrapped her arms around him. Because they could joke all they want but she really did love Derek and she didn't want him to be embarrassed or awkward- or even worse, think she felt embarrassed or awkward. Because she wasn't embarrassed about being his girlfriend, or loving him.

They'd gone shopping on fifth avenue and she and Derek had done mainly window shopping apart from Derek buying a shirt and she buying a new set of bra and panties when they'd managed to get ten minutes alone in Victoria's Secret. Lara and Claire had spent the most, and Olivia had bought some new make up, while Imogen hadn't bought anything. Liv had dragged her with her to the make up counter while Imogen was with her older sisters, so she'd had to leave her boyfriend with Mark and stand while his sister had sat in a chair and tried on about fifty different eye shadows. Derek had been right about Olivia, she was extremely girly, and she was extremely ditzy, and she was really funny. Meredith knew Imogen was Derek's favourite but she was developing a soft spot for Liv. She seemed independent and bubbly, despite losing her dad about eighteen months ago. Well, they all did- but Meredith really liked Olivia. She was definitely her favourite. Make up was something Meredith wore when she went to a party, or these days when she went out on a date with Derek. But she didn't really know what she was doing or what the best products were, she just kind of winged it. But Liv seemed so into it and knew every brand in the store. She was very much a girly girl, but she wasn't a spoilt brat, or a snob, Derek said she was a Student Ambassador when she was at NYU and worked on campus to earn some extra money. She had linked Meredith's arm and made casual conversation with her, as if they'd been friends forever. It was nothing heavy, it was light and funny and made her feel very at ease. Liv was definitely her favourite. She's sat next to her at lunch, with Imogen on the other side, before Derek had come and forced his youngest sister to move and slipped in next to her, kissing her cheek.

After a few hours, her and Derek broke away from them and went to see Wicked. It had been amazing, Derek was right it was amazing and she was glad they hadn't been to see anything else. His hand had rested in hers the entire time and he had kissed her cheek every now and again. She couldn't believe she was doing all these things in New York and she was doing them with not only her boyfriend but her best friend. Because that's what Derek was. He was both. They had been friends before they had been lovers and she loved that she could still laugh and talk to him the same way she did before she was his girlfriend. It was so comfortable.

But it was also sexy. After Wicked Derek had taken her out for a romantic dinner and it wasn't like anything they'd done before. She wasn't exactly dressed up, but she did look nice and Derek had his nice shirt on with his jeans. He had held her chair out while she sat down and he had held her hand across the table and paid the full check and put her jacket on her shoulders before they left. He was a really great boyfriend and the whole time he had been sat opposite her all she had been able to think about was riding him. But she'd had to try and suppress her thoughts on the train home as he'd feathered her neck and cheek with soft kisses because she knew they couldn't do anything. Not when they were at his mom's.

The same tonight, after they'd eaten the pie Alison had made them for dinner, Derek's hand rested on her thigh while everyone chatted. It had made her hairs stand on edge and all she could think about was pulling it higher to between her thighs. She wanted Derek. Every time she kissed him or made out with him she wanted him more. But they couldn't do anything because they were at his mom's. They'd only started having proper sex on Friday, it was now Wednesday and the third day in a row without any form of sex with her boyfriend. And she wanted him. She was horny. She was really, really horny.

She sighed, looking at herself in the mirror before pulling her hair out of it's ponytail and fluffing it up a bit. She was in her pyjama shorts and tight white tank top. She pulled her shorts higher up her waist and her top down to show off her breasts more, but it was pointless anyway, because nothing was going to happen. If they were alone in the house right now, she'd have put her new underwear on for him and gone into his room and had her way with him. But Mark was in the next room and any of his sisters could bang on the door at any minute. She wasn't sure how relationships worked but she was pretty sure when you first got together you were supposed to be having a lot of sex, not staying at your parents house then having eight weeks apart. She couldn't see when her and Derek were going to have sex before she left, unless they did on Sunday morning before she packed up all her stuff at Dartmouth. And then she wouldn't be able to have sex with him until the end of August. She was frustrated. And horny. She was still horny.

She shoved her hair back up in a ponytail and opened the bathroom door back into Derek's room. He was sat up reading a book with his light blue pyjama t-shirt on. She lifted the covers and slipped in next to him, kissing his cheek before turning onto her side, her back to him and she curled into her pillow. She felt the mattress shift under her and heard him lean and put his book on the bed side table next to his illuminated bedside light.

Suddenly she felt his arms snake around her waist and his hands moving up and down her stomach as his lips moved to her neck. His hands moved lazily over her abdomen up to her breasts as he sucked lightly at a particularly sensitive spot at the juncture between her neck and shoulder. He lifted her shirt and the feel of his hands on her bare skin sent pleasure all over her body. Her breathing quickened as his hands grazed the underside of her breast.

'Der….'

'Hmmm….' He breathed, shifting her face towards his and capturing her lips.

He felt good. He felt really good and she reached for his hair as he sucked on her lower lip and cupped her breast softly.

'Oh..' she moaned into his mouth, his tongue delving into her mouth, exploring her. His hands moved from her stomach to her ass, dipping into her shorts and pulling her closer to him.

'You… are beautiful...' he murmured, punctuating his words with long kisses.

'Derek…' she gasped, feeling his erection press into her stomach as his hands squeezed her ass.

'Mer…'

'Stop…' she whispered as he pulled his lips from hers and moved them down to the tops of her breasts exposed by her shirt. 'Derek…' her hand went to his hair, fingernails scratching his scalp slightly. His lips didn't stop moving on her chest and his hands didn't stop on her ass. She felt her nipples hardening as he moved her top over her head and kissed around them gently.

'Derek…' she panted, pushing him slightly. 'You need to stop.' She was too horny. She was too horny for him to touch her like this and get her wet and ready without the hope of it going any further.

'Mer….' He groaned, pulling a nipple into his mouth.

'Baby please…' she whispered, physically pulling his head off her breast.

'What?' he looked up at her, leaning to kiss her gently, his hand moving back to graze her abdomen.

'Can't….' she whimpered breathlessly.

'What?' he repeated, waiting for her to elaborate.

'I want you so bad.' She shook her head as his hand moved from her abdomen to her breast, squeezing it gently.

'Me too.' He breathed, kissing her again. 'You're so sexy…' he trailed his kisses down her neck as his hand squeezed again.

'No… Der… stop…'

'Stop?' he clarified, pulling his hand away.

'I'm really horny.' She whimpered. 'And we can't.'

'I know.' He said quietly.

'I'm really horny, Derek.' She repeated, wanting to cry. Why did she want to cry?! She'd never wanted to cry because she was so horny before.

'I know, I know.' He murmured. 'I am too.'

'But we cant.'

'We cant.' He agreed.

'I… really want you.'

'I want you too.' He whispered.

'I don't…. all summer, Derek…'

'I know.' He breathed, slumping against his pillow and staring at the ceiling.

'I really want to have sex.' She sighed, cupping her heavy and exposed breasts in her own hands as she too continued to stare at the ceiling.

'God Mer…' he groaned, looking at her.

'I really want you inside me.' She moaned, massaging her breasts.

'I know.'

'Urugh.' She sighed pulling the covers up. 'And I'm really wet.'

'Mer…' he groaned.

'Sorry.' She breathed. 'But I am. Ridiculously wet. Soaked, even.'

'We could try and be quiet.' He suggested.

'Oh what and have your mom knock at the door to ask if we want waking tomorrow?'

'I don't really know what else to suggest.'

'Do you think you could be quiet?' she said more seriously, turning to face him.

'I don't know.' He sighed. 'But I don't think you can.'

'Derek!'

'What?' he laughed. 'You're loud.'

'Well you're very loud when I suck you off.' She countered.

'And you're louder when I lick you out.'

'Well you just ruined your chances of me going down on you.' She pouted.

'So did you.' He mused.

'Derek this isn't funny I'm really horny!'

'I know you are.' He whispered, moving to pull her into his arms again.

'I really want to come.'

'I know.' He whispered.

'Well we cant have sex and we cant go down on each other. Can you be quiet if I jack you off?'

'I'm sure we could try.'

'But I don't want to jack you off.' She sighed.

'Gee thanks.'

'I didn't mean it like that.' She sighed again.

'I know you didn't.'

'I just… not what I wanted.'

'I know.' He breathed, kissing her temple. 'Its very high school-y.'

'It's not even that.' She pouted. 'But it's like you come then I come. It's not the same as sex.'

'I know.'

'I'm so fucking horny, Derek.'

'I know you are baby.' He breathed, squeezing his arms around her. Calling her baby wasn't exactly helping her get over her sexual frustration given it was something they only called each other in bed.

'I…'

'What?'

'High school….'

'What?'

'You… you said jacking off was high school-y.'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Is that bad?'

'I don't know.' He laughed.

'I…'

'What?'

'We cant have sex.' She breathed, pushing him onto his back and moving to straddle him.

'I don't think this is doing the no sex any good.' He laughed slightly as she leant down to kiss him.

'No sex.' She shook her head. 'When was the last time you came in your pants?'

'Oh.' He breathed against her lips as she began to grind her hips against him. 'You… this….'

'You feel so good…' she whispered as she continued to grind against him.

'Oh…' he gasped, pulling at her thighs to pull her closer to him, revelling in the friction they were creating. She continued to kiss him, sucking on his lips as her hands ran through his hair. He felt so hard against her, and she was sure he could probably feel her wetness through her pyjama shorts. Her nipples were hard and erect against his chest and she mewed quietly into his mouth as they rubbed against his shirt. 'You… this?'

'This… bad?' she asked, moving to suck at his neck his hips rocked up against hers.

'No…' he breathed, running his hands up her bare back. 'Just…. You think you can come… from this?'

'Yes…' she whimpered, grinding herself harder.

'Oh…'

'Shhh…' she breathed into his neck before sucking eagerly. 'Can you?'

'What?' he gasped quietly.

'Come…'

'Oh… yeah… yeah…'

'Good.' She giggled, sucking a little harder.

'No hickeys…' he gasped. 'Mark…'

'Are you really talking about Mark right now?' she laughed, leaning back from him.

'No.' he shook his head. 'No. God, you look sexy…'

'Oh…' she breathed as his hands reached to cup her breasts.

'Mer…'

'Suck.'

'What?'

'My nipples, they need you.'

'My mouth?'

'Yes.' She whimpered, grinding against him.

'Shhhh quiet remember..' he breathed, moving to suck a nipple into her mouth.

'Oh Derek…' she gasped quietly.

'Shhhh baby…'

'I know….' She whispered, holding his head against her chest as he continued to pleasure her nipple with his tongue, his hands moving round to her ass and holding her against him as he thrusted his hips up, the tip of his erection catching her clit.

'Oh…' she panted. 'Yes.. yes Derek yes…'

'Fuck…'

'Fuck…' she mirrored, clutching at his hair tightly, her hips moving frantically over him. Rocking her clit against his dick.

'Oh…'

'Keep… keep going…'

'Oh Meredith…' he murmured, moving to pull her other breast into his mouth.

'God…' she whispered. 'Fuck!'

'Shhhh, baby shush…'

'Oh… oh… Derek….' She whimpered as his hands moved to her breasts and he captured her lips with his own, stifling her soft sounds. She knew they had to be quiet, and she was being quiet. But she couldn't be silent, not when his dick was so hard against her clit and her breasts were so tight and heavy. They panted into each others mouths as they continued to dry hump, she couldn't quite believe she was doing this. She was so close still with her pants on, Derek still with his pants on, but they were grinding so hard against each other, his tongue was plunging into her mouth in time with the thrusts of his hips and she was so close.

'Derek…'she breathed against his lips.

'Come….' He murmured into her mouth, a hand moving from her breast to her ass, squeezing it tightly.

'Oh!'

'Come baby, come for me…'

'Derek…' she mewed, her hips bucking faster and faster against him.

'That's it…'

'Fuck… fuck…' she cried quietly, shaking as the wave took over her, she felt like she was exploding.

'Oh…' he groaned, his own release coming and into his pants.

'Oh….' She breathed, slumping against him. 'Oh, Derek…'

'Did we just….'

'Yeah. Yeah.' She nodded breathlessly.

'That was…'

'So good…'

'I cant believe we just…'

'Me neither…' she shook her head.

'So good though.' He whispered, his head beaded with sweat, his hand travelling down to hers and interlacing her fingers with his.

'You still have your shirt on.' She giggled.

'I do.'

'You just came in your shirt and pj shorts.'

'Well it helped that you didn't have your shirt on.' He laughed.

'I love you.' She whispered, leaning to kiss him before resting her head on his chest.

'I love you too.' His other hand moving over her hair.

'You… I know we said we were gonna stay here all week but… do you… I was thinking…'

'Mer, you're rambling.'

'I am?' she breathed.

'Yes.' He laughed, tipping her chin up to him and kissing her softly.

'Saturday. Come back to Dartmouth with me on Saturday instead of Sunday. We can have our last… night together or whatever…'

'That sounds perfect.'

'It does?' she breathed.

'Very perfect.' He kissed her again, twice.

'Oh…' she whispered against his lips.

'I want to make love to you properly before you go.'

'I want that too.' She whispered, squeezing his bicep.

'So Saturday.'

'Saturday.'

'I love you.'

'You too. I don't… what are we going to do when we're not together…'

'Like you said the other day… gonna have to use the hands.'

'But you'll call me right? So we can….'

'Together?'

'Yeah.' She blushed.

'I will.' He nodded. 'I've never done it before.'

'Phone sex?'

'No.'

'Me neither.'

'An adventure.' He laughed.

'An eight week long adventure.' She groaned.

'Hey…' he whispered, pulling her closer. 'I know it sucks but its not forever.'

'I know.'

'And I'm looking forward to hearing your dirty talk.'

'Very dirty talk.' She whispered.

'Does it turn you on, dirty talk?'

'Yeah….' She breathed as his hand reached for her breast again, his thumb brushing over her nipple.

'And you're gonna fuck yourself for me?' he whispered, pressing a kiss below her ear.

'So hard.' She whispered as he sucked on her lobe.

'Nice and loud? So I can hear you….'

'So loud baby,' she breathed, her hand running through his hair.

'Good.' He kissed her lips firmly.

'You'll come for me too?' she said hopefully.

'Try and stop me.' He smirked.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He smiled as she kissed him.

'Lots of phone sex,' he breathed, kissing her gently and standing up to wash and change his pants, then climbing back into bed and pulling her into him as he spooned her and kissed her neck. 'And then lots of real sex. Lots and lots of real sex.'

'Lots of sex.' She sighed happily as he traced patterns on her stomach softly as she leaned into his back. She was sweaty and hot and had just come from dry fucking her boyfriend in his mother's house. But she felt so safe and so happy in Derek's arms as he touched her gently and kissed her neck. She couldn't wait for Saturday so they could have as much sex as they wanted, but she also didn't want it to be Saturday because then they'd only have one day together before she flew across the country for two months.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	34. Chapter 35

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for the luck with my exams, they aren't over for a few weeks so I probably will still be a little slower with the updates. Thank you for reading, please review!_

Today was Meredith's last day in New York and Derek was trying to ignore the pain in his chest at the thought. His mom had made them a nice lunch to say goodbye to Meredith, and while Derek appreciated the sentiment, it made it hard to ignore the fact that tomorrow Meredith would be flying across the country and he wouldn't see her for two months. Two months was an awfully long time to go without seeing your girlfriend, especially when your girlfriend was a girl with abandonment issues and was conjoined to your hip twenty-four seven. His hand was resting on her thigh and he gave it a gentle squeeze.

'Hey,' she whispered, turning to him.

'Hey,' he whispered back, kissing her gently.

'You okay?' she asked.

'Yeah.' He smiled. 'Just thinking.'

'Don't.' she whispered knowingly. 'I don't want to think about it.'

'Sorry.'

'It's okay.' She squeezed his hand.

'I just… hard not to.'

'I know.' She breathed.

'Hey you two, there are other people in the room you know.' Taunted Mark.

'Funny.' Shot back Derek, turning from Meredith back to his plate of food.

'Oh boys.' Sighed Alison. 'I thought we were going to make it through a nice lunch without any of this silly bickering.'

'I'm just saying,' shrugged Mark. 'It's rude.'

'Oh Mark. I think we can make an exception today.' Said Alison. 'Is everyone's food okay?'

'It's lovely thank you.' Smiled Meredith.

'You're more than welcome dear.'

'Yeah, it's really good Ma.' Said Claire.

'Thank you.'

'So, Mer, how long is your flight tomorrow?' asked Lara.

'Oh, six hours I think.'

'That's long.' Said Jake.

'I know.' She sighed.

'Is it early?' said Liv.

'No, at like three, so I think I'll get home for about ten New York time.'

'What time will it be there?' her favourite sister asked, confused.

'Like, seven?'

'Oh.'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'Is your mom picking you up from the airport?' said Lara eagerly.

'Oh, no. I don't think so.'

'Oh.' She replied, trying not to let her face fall too much.

'You're not having to get a train are you, dear?' said Alison.

'Oh, no.' Meredith shook her head. 'My mom hires a driver.'

'Ah, I see.' His mom nodded.

'Oh my god that's so cool.' Said Imogen.

'It's not really.' Meredith laughed nervously.

'It is- I mean you've got this dork taking you to the airport but then being picked up by a personal driver. It's like you're famous.'

'Oh. No, my driver… he he flies to Dartmouth and then drives my stuff to the airport and flies back with me. It's… my mom has a lot of money and she insists he flies with me or whatever.'

'That's crazy.' His youngest sister said in awe.

'It's… nothing really.' Meredith shrugged, wanting to deflect attention.

'Is he nice, your driver?' asked Alison.

'Oh, Frank.' Meredith giggled. 'Yeah, he's really nice. He's in his fifties but I really like him.'

'That's good.' His mom smiled warmly. 'At least you'll have some company on the flight.'

'Yeah, he's really nice.'

'Sounds like you have some competition, Der.' Claire teased.

'Ha, ha.' Said Derek, tightening his hand on Meredith's thigh.

'So will your mom be working much over summer? I'm assuming she is.' Said Lara.

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'I still cant believe you're related to Ellis Grey.' Olivia's eyes were wide.

'She's just my mom.' Meredith shrugged. 'If you knew her you wouldn't think it was a big deal.'

'Lizzie texted me yesterday and said Alex this guy from our bio said he heard a rumour off Rebecca Carson that she's coming to do a conference at NYU med school in the fall. Could you ask her if it's true?' she said hopefully.

'I can definitely try and find out.' Meredith nodded.

'Oh my god, thank you.' Liv grinned.

'No problem.' His girlfriend smiled.

'Does she go away to conferences a lot, your mother?' smiled Alison as she picked up the salad bowl.

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'And big surgeries at other hospitals.'

'That must be tough being alone in the house, Derek says you have no siblings.'

'Oh, I'm kind of used to it. It's fine.'

'Do you have a job or anything, Mer?' said Claire.

'Oh, no. My mom wants me to study ready for school.'

'But that's like two months away?' laughed Liv.

'I know.' Meredith rolled her eyes. 'Trust me.'

'So what like reading and stuff?'

'Yeah.'

'God that sounds so boring.' His sister winced.

'I know.' Meredith laughed.

'I'm sure you'll occupy yourself in other ways.' Alison laughed softly. 'Do any of your friends from college live near seattle?'

'Oh, no.' Meredith shook her head. 'My friend Izzie is from Florida and my friend Cristina is from California.'

'What about Sarah?' Derek asked gently.

'She's from California too.'

'Oh.' He breathed.

'You must have friends at home though.' Imogen shrugged.

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'I have a really good friend called Sadie.'

'That's a nice name.' Alison nodded.

'Yeah.' Meredith laughed. 'We always called ourselves Death and Die when we were younger.'

'That's funny.' Laughed Lara.

'Did she go to college too?' Alison smiled.

'Oh, yeah. She went to University of Washington, so she's still near home.'

'That's nice.'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'Is she doing pre med too?' asked Liv.

'Oh, yeah. But I don't think she likes it.' She scrunched up her nose slightly.'

'why not?'

'I think she only did it because it's what I'm doing.'

'That's no good.' Alison shook her head.

'I know.' Meredith sighed. 'I've tried to tell her so many times but she doesn't listen.'

'I'm sure she'll figure things out eventually.' Smiled Liv.

'Yeah, she will.' Meredith agreed.

'How long will it take you guys to drive back to Dartmouth?' asked Lara. 'You're all packed up right?'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'Just over four hours.' Derek breathed.

'That's disgusting.' Said Lara.

'It's not that bad.' Derek smiled. 'We'll be there for dinner.'

'Don't forget to take a break if you get tired, dear.' Reminded Alison. 'It's not worth the risk.'

'I know Ma, I will.' He nodded.

'I'll make sure of it.' Meredith smiled.

'Good. And tomorrow- I want you getting back here in one piece.' His mom said firmly.

'I will.' Derek laughed.

'You better.' Laughed Meredith.

'Either that or he'll have topped himself Romeo style.' Smirked Mark.

'shut up.' Snapped Derek.

'That doesn't even make sense.' Imogen frowned at Mark.

'Whatever.' He groaned. 'You knew what I meant.'

'Will your mother not trust you to do your work here, Meredith? You know you're always welcome to stay.' Smiled Alison.

'Oh.' Breathed Meredith. 'Thank you so much. But… no, not really. She… she's kind of hard to explain but no. She wouldn't be happy with me and… no.'

'Well that's a shame.' His mom smiled.

'Yeah.' Meredith breathed.

'So will she like make you study every day?' said Imogen.

'Probably.'

'Jesus.'

'Language, Imogen.'

'Sorry, Ma.'

'At least you'll come back to Dartmouth smarter than me and Shep.' Mark winked.

'True.' She giggled.

'She's already smarter than you.' Derek joked.

'That was mean.' She giggled again, turning to swat him gently, but leaving her hand on his chest to rub it gently.

'True though.' He winked, leaning to kiss her softly.

After lunch was over Meredith and Derek had gone to collect their bags from upstairs, things felt strange between them. He couldn't muster the words to make conversation and it seemed she didn't either, they just found comfort in soft touches and each other's presence. Their last night together had come, and while he knew he should be excited for the hot sex his girlfriend was going to give him once they reached Dartmouth, he couldn't help being sad. This was the last time he would spend with her before being apart from her for so long.

He offered his hand to take her bag, which was bigger than his small over night one and kissed her softly as she allowed him to take it. She picked up their jackets and closed his bedroom door before following him down the stairs. He placed the bags on the floor before sticking his head around the living room door.

'Hey, we're going to get off now.' He breathed as she came up behind him.

'Oh,' said Alison standing up. 'You be careful while you're driving.'

'I will, Ma.' He breathed as she pulled him into a hug.

'Remember what I said about stopping if you need to.'

'I know, ma.'

'Four hours is a long time in an unfamiliar car.'

'Ma,' he groaned.

'I'll make sure he looks after himself, Alison.' Meredith smiled, leaning into Derek slightly.

'I know you will dear. I guess it's just the mother in me that cant stop worrying.'

'I'll call you as soon as we get there.' Smiled Derek.

'Good.'

'And I'll call you tomorrow before I set off home.'

'Will you be needing dinner?'

'Yeah,' he nodded. 'I'm not sure what time I'll be back but I'll just heat it up.'

'Okay sweetheart.' His mother sighed before turning to Meredith. 'You take care of yourself too, young lady.'

'I will.' Meredith smiled.

'And have a fun summer.' His mom hugged her gently.

'I will.' His girlfriend repeated. 'Thank you so much for having me here.'

'Oh you're more than welcome dear. You make my son very happy.'

'Oh.' He could see her blush furiously before replying. 'He makes me happy too.'

'I am glad to hear it.' Alison laughed. 'We'll miss you very much. But hopefully it won't be long until we see you again?'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'I think my apartment lease starts earlier than Derek's so I should be there if you bring him back.'

'Wonderful. And do keep in touch wont you?'

'Of course.' She smiled.

'Although I'm sure Derek will keep us all updated.' She laughed softly.

'Yeah.' Meredith smiled again.

'Bye Mer,' smiled Imogen, walking over to her and hugging her, obviously taking Meredith bye surprise.

'Oh, bye.' Meredith smiled.

'We're really gonna miss you.'

'Yeah.' Smiled Olivia, also walking to hug her. 'It's been really cool having you here.'

'Thanks.' She smiled. 'It's been really nice getting to know you guys. Derek loves you so much.'

'Ditto with you.' Imogen laughed.

'Hopefully we'll see you soon.' Olivia smiled.

'Yeah, I hope so.' Meredith smiled.

'In case you haven't realised you're kind of an adopted sister now.' Imogen laughed.

'Oh, great.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Shut up.' Pouted Olivia. 'Would you rather we hate her?'

'Obviously not.'

'Well then stop complaining that we like her.'

'I'm not.'

'Good.' Imogen smiled. 'We mean it Mer, we…' she glanced at Olivia. 'We know you don't have any sisters or whatever… so we.. we want you to know you always have us.'

'Oh. Thanks.' His girlfriend smiled nervously, but genuinely.

'Yeah… like if you ever need us for anything…' continued Olivia. 'Including if you need to bitch about Derek being an ass.'

'Oh.' She laughed. 'Thanks.'

'Hey!' he protested.

'You can be as ass sometimes Der.' Imogen rolled her eyes.

'That's not very nice.'

'He's not to me.' Meredith giggled, leaning into him slightly.

'I wish I could say that.' Olivia mused.

'Anyway, yeah.' Smiled Imogen. 'We just want you to know that we're gonna miss you. And we really like you.'

'Thanks, me too.' She smiled at them both.

'And we know how happy you make Derek, so thanks.'

'Oh… that's… that's…' she struggled to reply, going red again. 'I love him.'

'We know.' Olivia smiled. 'He hasn't been very happy since dad died but you make him really happy, so thanks.'

'I am here you know.' Said Derek, squeezing his girlfriend gently.

'Yes, Derek. We know.' Imogen rolled her eyes. 'We are being nice, you can stop acting like we're being mean.'

'Yeah, Derek.' Said Claire, coming up behind her younger sisters. 'Bye Meredith, it was really nice having you here.'

'Thanks.' She smiled again.

'And you be careful driving.' She turned to Derek.

'I will.' He sighed before Lara and Jake came through the living room door with Mark.

'You guys off?' said Mark.

'Yeah.' Said Derek.

'Bye man. Bye Grey.'

'Bye Mark,' she smiled, moving to hug him.

'Have a good summer.'

'Thanks, you too.'

'I'll keep you updated on Shep's pining.'

'Shut up.' She laughed.

'Bye Meredith.' Smiled Lara.

'Bye.'

'Bye.' Smiled Jake.'

'Have a good flight.' His eldest sister offered.

'Thanks.'

'Okay, has everyone finished their goodbyes now?' said Derek, pulling his girlfriend back to him.

'Derek stop being weird.' Said Imogen.

'He just wants to get her back to Dartmouth so he can get in her pants.' Said Mark.

'Mark!' snapped Derek.

'Oh, Mark, really.' Sighed Alison.

'Sorry Ma.'

'You are being weird though Derek.' Said Olivia. 'We were only saying bye.'

'Yeah, well there's about a hundred people in this family.'

'Alright, alright Derek.' Said his mother. 'We wont keep you any longer.'

'Okay.' He said, 'I'll get the bags.' He kissed Meredith's cheek softly before heading to the porch.

'Ignore him.' Said Meredith. 'He's been like this all day it's nothing to do with you guys.'

'We know dear.' Smiled Alison. 'He's going to miss you very much.'

'I'll miss him too.' She nodded.

'I'm sure you will. Ah, here he is.' She smiled as Derek reappeared. 'There are the car keys.'

'Thanks.' He smiled, taking them off his mother as she kissed his cheek. 'You good?' he asked Meredith.

'Yeah.' She smiled, 'Do you want me to take my case?'

'No, it's fine.' He replied as they made their way to the door, his mother and sisters following them. He put their stuff in the back before climbing into the drivers seat and kissing Meredith quickly over the console before beginning to pull off the driveway. His mom and sisters were stood by the door waving, he really wanted to smile and wave back, like Meredith was doing. But he couldn't, he felt so dead inside, he couldn't bring himself to smile or even pretend to smile.

Once they'd pulled off his street and were heading for the highway, he glanced at Meredith who was sat silently, her head resting on the glass of her window as she gazed outside. Today sucked. No matter how he tried to be happy and enjoy the last day of his girlfriend's company, the thought of her going away for summer was at the forefront of his mind, plaguing his every thought. He reached out tentatively to take her hand in his. She turned to look at him and smiled softly, welcoming his hand in her own.

They drove together in comfortable silence for what Derek guessed was an hour, his hand casually leaving and returning to her hand as he changed the gear shift.

'I like your sisters.' She breathed after a while.

'You do?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'That's good.'

'I didn't think I would like them as much as I do.'

'That's really good.' He nodded.

'Liv is my favourite.'

'She is?' he asked.

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'I like them all, but Liv… yeah Liv is my favourite.'

'She's a good friend, Liv.'

'Yeah, I really like her.'

'She told me to give me her number tomorrow so you can call if you ever want to talk.'

'She did?' his girlfriend smiled.

'Yeah.'

'Her and Imogen are so funny.'

'I know.' He smiled.

'But I like Claire and Lara too.'

'They're just older.' Derek shrugged.

'Yeah.' She agreed.

'They like you too.' He smiled. 'I think Liv and Imogen like you better than they like me.' He laughed.

'Don't be silly. They love you.' She giggled.

'Hmmmm,'

'You know they do.'

'They're annoying.' He rolled his eyes.

'You love them really.'

'I do.' He smiled. 'I told you you wouldn't mess it up.'

'What?' she breathed.

'My family. I told you that you couldn't mess it up.'

'Oh.' She smiled.

'I told you they liked you.'

'I know.' She smiled quietly. 'I… I really like them.'

'I'm glad.'

'They love you so much and I really wanted them to like me.'

'They love you.'

'They're really nice. And your mom. I…I think she likes me too.'

'My mom?! You're joking right?' he laughed. 'She freaking loves you.'

'I love her too.' She laughed in response.

'She asked me so many times if you could stay over summer.'

'Oh. I don't want her to think I'm not grateful or… because I am…'

'I know.' He whispered, squeezing her hand.

'My mom… its just complicated.'

'I know.' He squeezed her hand again.

'I would If I could. You know that.'

'I know.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He breathed as she leant over to kiss his cheek. They drove again in comfortable silence for another hour until Meredith began to yawn.

'Go to sleep.' He whispered. 'We've got another couple of hours.'

'No.' she protested.

'Mer, you're yawning.'

'I'm not going to sleep.' She shook her head.

'Mer, sleep.'

'No.'

'Sleep, Mer.'

'I don't want to.'

'Meredith you're tired. Sleep.'

'We haven't done anything for me to be tired.'

'Just sleep.' He smiled. 'I'll wake you up when we get there.'

'I don't want to.'

'Mer.' He sighed.

'These are our last hours together, Der.'

'And we haven't spoken the majority of this ride anyway.' He laughed softly. 'Go to sleep.'

'I don't want to.'

'If you sleep now you wont be as tired later.'

'True.'

'Sleep.'

'I….' she sighed.

'Sleep.' He squeezed her hand.

'Kay.' She breathed, kissing him softly before shutting her eyes and leaning back against the window. When she woke up they'd be back at Dartmouth where they would spend their last few hours together. He sighed and turned his attention from his beautiful sleeping girlfriend back to the road, able to concentrate more now.

As he pulled up outside Meredith's building he opened his door before walking round and opening hers, her head falling forward slightly as the door moved.

'Hey,' he whispered, leaning to run his hand over her hair slightly. 'Mer,'

'Hmmmm.' She groaned, scrunching her nose as she stirred.

'We're here.' He murmured, kissing her softly before taking off her seatbelt.

'Oh…' she breathed, leaning into his touch.

'You okay?' he asked.

'Yeah.' She whispered, rubbing her eyes- he assumed because she was still waking up.

'Let's go inside.' He pulled on her hand gently.

'Yeah.' She whispered, nodding, taking his hand and following him out of the car and into her building as he held both of their bags.

They got into her dorm and he placed the bags down, her hand still firmly in his. He turned to pull her into his arms as they sat on the couch and he yawned himself from the long drive. She scooted into his arms and rested her head on his chest with her arms wrapped around him tightly.

'Shall I order us some pizza?' he asked, stifling a yawn.

'Yeah.' He thought he heard her whisper.

'Mer? Pizza?'

'Yeah…' she said, a little more shakily before he looked down to see that her body was trembling slightly.

'Mer…' he breathed, sitting up. 'Mer what's wrong?'

'Nothing….' She pulled back, crying.

'Hey,' he reached for her hands as she turned away from him. 'Mer… come here…'

'Derek…' she whimpered, falling into his arms, crying.

'Mer, what's wrong?' he cooed, hugging her tightly.

'… Derek….' She sobbed.

'Mer… shhh…. Please don't cry. Don't cry, what's wrong?'

'I can't Derek….' She cried breathlessly.

'Come here.' He murmured, kissing her head and holing her close.

'I don't want… Derek…'

'I know.' He breathed, because he did. Meredith hadn't told him why she was crying but she didn't have to. He could break down the same if he wasn't so tired.

'I don't… two months Derek…'

'I know…' he said as she continued to shake in his arms. 'Shhh… I'm here now.'

'I know.' She whimpered.

'It's going to be okay.' He whispered, kissing her temple and shifting to cuddle her with her head back on his chest and his arms protectively around her.

'We… what if….'

'Hey,' he whispered. 'What if what?'

'I don't know, Derek.'

'I'm going to miss you so much.' He breathed, squeezing her. 'So much.'

'Me too. Going to miss you.'

'I know.'

'I… I feel pathetic.'

'Why?' he murmured, running his hand gently along her back as her breathing began to settle.

'I… crying… over missing a boy.'

'Oh.' He laughed slightly.

'It's not funny.'

'I know.'

'I just… going to miss you so much Derek.'

'I know. I'm going to miss you like crazy.'

'I love you.' She said quietly.

'I love you too.' He replied instantly.

'I just…'

'What?'

'We might not….'

'Make it?' he finished for her.

'Yeah.' She said quietly into his shirt.

'We will.'

'Derek-'

'We will.'

'I… you say that but…'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'So we're going to be apart for a while, which sucks. It really sucks. But it's not going to change anything I feel about you. And I love you.'

'You might…'

'What?' he whispered, tilting her chin up to meet his gaze.

'Forget about me… or whatever…'

'Oh Mer,' he smiled. 'I could never forget about you.'

'You might.' She said, removing her eyes from his gaze.

'I won't.'

'Derek…' she sighed.

'I love you. And I am going to call you every single day. And we are going to make this work. I couldn't forget about you if I tried.'

'You promise?' She looked up at him, her eyes big, her bottom lip trembling as her fingers played with his shirt.

'i promise you.'

'really?' She breathed.

'Yes, really.' He nodded. 'I love you so much.'

'I love you too.' She insisted.

'so we'll make a deal, if you don't forget about me I won't forget about you.'

'I won't.' She whispered.

'Me niether.'

'I don't want to lose this Derek.'

'We won't. I promise you we wont.'

'People leave.' She whimpered.

'I'm not.'

'Derek-'

'No, Mer. I'm not leaving you. Ever.'

'Ever?' She whispered.

'Ever.' He echoed, kissing her softly. 'I love you so much. And if you want me I'll be here forever.'

'forever as in ever and ever?' She whispered.

'Ever and ever.' He nodded. 'I know we've only been together three weeks, it's not even a month. But I love you. And I can't imagine my life without you.'

'Me neither.' She whispered.

'I love you. And I want to be with you.'

'I love you too.'

'and eight weeks really isn't that long compared to forever and ever.' He said, kissing her temple softly.

'True.' She sighed.

'We'll make it work, Mer.'

'how?' She breathed. 'I mean, I know we said we'd call but...'

'we need a proper plan.' He nodded. 'I don't want you stressing.'

'I'm not stressing.' She shook her head and reached for his hand.

'You are. And you don't need to be, I love you.'

'I love you too.' She whispered, kissing him gently.

'okay, so the time difference is three hours between us.'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'My job is nine to five working for my uncle.'

'so you finish at three my time.'

'And I'm working every other day starting Monday.'

'including weekends?' She murmured, nuzzling into him further.

'sadly.' He breathed, kissing the top of her head.

'Can you call me when you get home from work?'

'I can.' He nodded. 'And I'll let you know if I can't.'

'okay, me too.'

'on my days off, you can ring me whenever you're free.'

'what if you're busy?'

'Never too busy for you.'

'You're so cheesy.' She giggled.

'Trying to make you laugh,' he said quietly, rubbing his hand gently along her stomach. 'I don't like seeing you sad.'

'I'll call.' She nodded.

'Good. Do I call your cell?'

'Yeah but sometimes my mom gives me a lecture about it and takes it off me. So I'll give you the house number.'

'okay.'

'But don't say you're... you...'

'me?' He whispered.

'Yeah. She won't... she doesn't know...'

'Oh.' He breathed, not knowing whether to be hurt or not at the fact his girlfriend hadn't told her mom about them.

'I... she won't like it...' she explained quietly and quickly. 'She... says things and she wouldn't like it... so just... don't say you're you.'

'so who do I say I am?' He asked, trying to ignore the twinge of hurt in his heart.

'I don't know.' She whispered.

'She might get suspicious of me calling every day.'

'You'll probably only speak to her once.' She said quickly. 'She's hardly home. This is just in case.'

'okay.' He breathed, kissing her.

'It's not that I'm hiding you,' she said quietly, as if reading his mind. 'Well I am.' She breathed. 'But I... my mom... Derek she's not like yours.'

'I know.'

'I... she won't like it, Der. She won't be happy for us like your mom.'

'Okay.' He breathed, squeezing her, feeling bad for thinking she would hide him when it was obviously paining her. Her eyes were filled with tears and she looked so worried.

'i love you and she says things... and I don't want her to say things to you... I don't want you to leave.'

'I won't leave.' He promised.

'I know... but...'

'It's okay if you're not ready to tell her.' He whispered, kissing her.

'It's not because I don't love you.'

'I know.'

'I love you so much. And I don't want to lose you.'

'you're not going to.'

'promise?'

'promise.' He kissed her again gently. She snuggled into him and he squeezed her softly. 'Just for the record Mer, even if she did know, and she did say things, you wouldn't lose me.'

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too.'

'I've never loved... trusted anyone like I have you, Derek.'

'I know.' He breathed. 'I know you've had it hard with your family.'

'everybody leaves.'

'Except me.'

'Except you.' She breathed, and he felt her much more relaxed in his arms now, no tears in sight. 'Der...' she breathed after a minute of silence passed begeeen them.

'Yeah?' He said quietly, running his hand soothingly along her back, breathing in the lavender scent of her hair which he knew would be gone tomorrow.

'I know we said we'd... and you're probably horny. But... can we... just like this for a while?'

'Of course.' He breathed, kissing her head.

'Thanks.' She whispered, burying her head in his chest.

'I love you.'

'I love you too. And lots of sex later.'

'Lots.' He agreed.

'And I know it's cheesy but right now I just want you to hold me.'

'that I can do.' He said, kissing her head again.

'I love you so much.'

'I love you too.'

 _Thank you for reading, please review X_


	35. Chapter 36

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy this chapter. (Plsssss review) X_

Meredith sighed as her head hit the glass of the car window. Her eyes were stung and tired from crying so many tears, too tired to cry any more. The flight had been long, smooth, but long, her and Frank had had comfortable seats and there had been no delays or turbulence. It didn't seem to make it any easier though; Frank had suggested she slept, but every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Derek, and another tear would fall. It had been eight hours since she had left him for the airport and she had just landed, making her way home. She had sent him a text to say her plane had landed, but she was yet to get a response. He was probably asleep. It was nine pm in New York, so he must be asleep; he was probably tired from the drive home. He had texted her to say he was home and safe, but she had been in the air so only received it now.

She sighed again. She was not looking forward to seeing her mother- if she was even home. All she wanted to do was go home and get in bed with some strawberry ice cream and snuggle up with Derek's shirt which she had stolen the night before without him noticing. The whole night had been perfect. They had just sat and cuddled on the couch after she'd embarrassed herself by crying. He had held her and kissed her and told her everything was going to be okay. And it was weird, because even though she hated being apart from him already and knew these last eight weeks were going to be hell, she believed him when he told her they would be okay. Well, she was being optimistic about it at the very least. He was going to call every day and she could tell him about her day and she could hear all about his day. She just wished they lived closer. She would catch a flight to him in a heartbeat if it wasn't so far; her mom would not only question why she was paying for Meredith to fly across the country, but also why she was so desperate to go so far.

'Has he replied?' asked Frank, from the driver's seat.

'Oh, no.' she shook her head.

'I wouldn't read anything into it. He's probably asleep.'

'Yeah.'

'Derek, isn't it?'

'Yeah.' She smiled. 'Derek.'

'I'm assuming you met him at college?'

'Yeah. He's on my course.'

'Medicine?'

'Yeah.'

'Like your mother.' Frank laughed softly.

'Oh, yeah.'

'Is he a freshman?'

'Yeah,' she nodded. 'But he's a couple of years older.'

'And he's from New York?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Young love.' Frank mused. 'When will you next see him?'

'Not until late August.' She sighed.

'That's a shame.'

'Yeah.'

'Could you not visit him?'

'I… not really.' She murmured, looking out of the window again. 'My mom doesn't know. She wouldn't approve. So I don't know how I'd get to New York without her noticing.'

'Ah, I see.' Frank nodded. 'You're sure she wouldn't approve?'

'Positive.' She sighed sadly.

'Maybe you could try and tell her?'

'And have her ban me from seeing him?' she laughed harshly.

'How can she ban you when you're not seeing him for a while anyway?'

'True.' She nodded.

'She might surprise you.'

'I doubt it.'

'You never know.'

'She doesn't believe in love. At all.'

'At all?' frowned the older man as they stopped at a red light.

'At all.' She nodded.

'Well that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.'

'I know.' She giggled. 'I… I believed her… I guess, until I met Derek.'

'If it's what you've grown up with, it's understandable.'

'Yeah.'

'But at least now you've seen the light.' He laughed.

'I know.' She smiled. 'Are you married, Frank?'

'I am.' He smiled.

'What's she called?'

'Marion.'

'That's a nice name.'

'It is, for a very nice lady.'

'How long have you been married?' she giggled.

'Twenty-two years almost.' He grinned.

'Wow. That's a long time.'

'It is.' He nodded.

'Do you have kids?'

'Yeah, two girls. One is twenty, so I'm guessing a similar age to you?'

'Yeah.' She breathed.

'And Maddie is fifteen.'

'What's your eldest called?'

'Molly.'

'Molly and Maddie.' She smiled. 'They're really nice names.'

'Thank you, I'm glad you think so. We are dominated by the M in our house. Marion, Molly, Maddie. I'm the only Frank.' He laughed.

'Does Molly go to college?'

'She does, studying history.'

'Wow. Does she enjoy it?'

'She loves it.'

'Derek's sister's going to do history in the fall.'

'Oh wonderful where is she going?'

'University of Florida.'

'Wow, that's an interesting one.'

'I know.' Meredith laughed.

'Does he have any more siblings?'

'Oh, yeah. He has four sisters and his brother comes to college with us.'

'Wow, a big family he has.'

'Yeah.' Meredith smiled, thinking about her time with the Shepherds over the last week.

'That must be quite intimidating.'

'I thought it would be.' Meredith nodded. 'But they're all really nice. And his mom is amazing.'

'That's good.'

'Yeah.' She whispered. 'I was there for a week before coming home.'

'Ah, I see. I thought you were finishing college late compared to Molly.'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'We had an extra two weeks together before coming home.'

'I see.' He nodded.

'He said he would fly out to me, but he has a job working every other day.'

'What's he doing?'

'His uncle got him and his brother a job doing building work.'

'A handy man, that's useful.' Frank winked.

'I'm not sure how handy he actually is.' She giggled. 'He's a bit of a geek.'

'I'm sure he'd love to hear you saying this.'

'I'm only joking.' She laughed. 'I love him really.'

'I can tell, sweetheart.'

'Do Molly or Maddie have boyfriends?'

'Molly did in high school but they split before they went to college. Couldn't stand the distance.'

'Oh.' Meredith breathed, her stomach suddenly sinking.

'Don't read anything into it, dear. You're only away from him two months.' He smiled, as if reading her mind.

'Oh… I wasn't….' she stammered.

'You were.' He smiled. 'But don't worry. He obviously cares about you a lot.'

'Oh.'

'I saw the way he looked at you.' Frank turned over his shoulder to smiled at her.

'Thanks.' She whispered.

Frank winked at her before turning his attention back to the road. She liked Frank a lot, she had come to conclude. She'd liked him ever since her mom hired him at the beginning of the school year, but today she decided she really liked him. And she felt bad that she'd never actually asked anything about his life before, he had been married for twenty-two years. He had a daughter the same age as her, who probably lived in Seattle and was probably really nice. She gazed out at the highway as she held her phone tightly in her hands. She didn't realise it glowing at first, until she saw the light in the window reflection.

'Frank, you don't mind if I take a call do you?' she grinned.

'Of course not. Is it Romeo?'

'It's Derek.' She laughed, answering her cell. 'Hey.' She breathed into the phone, unable to help her smile.

'Hey you.' He said softly.

'I thought you must have been asleep when I texted you.'

'Oh, no. Imogen took my cell and hid it while I ate my dinner, apparently I was moping.' He laughed slightly, followed by an 'Ow!'

'You okay?' she laughed.

'Yeah… just an annoying sister.' He groaned, and she swore she could hear him swatting someone.

'Ignore him, Mer!' she heard Imogen's voice in the background.

'No, ignore her.' Derek said, the background suddenly going a lot quieter and she assumed he had moved to another room or shut his door. 'So your flight was okay?'

'Yeah no delays or anything.'

'Good.'

'I miss you.' She whispered.

'I miss you too.'

'What are we like?' she giggled slightly, but only to stop her forming tears.

'Useless.' He laughed back.

'Was your drive okay?'

'Yeah, tiring. More tiring than yesterday's.'

'Well you did do it on lack of sleep.' She smirked, recalling the hours of sex and cuddling that had occurred in her bed the night before.

'Very true.' He laughed.

'What time is it there?'

'About ten.'

'So it's seven here.' She nodded.

'Yeah.'

'And you start work at nine tomorrow?'

'Yeah.' He sighed again.

'Are you looking forward to it?'

'Not really. Manual labour isn't something I'm very familiar with, I think it's going to be more Mark's thing than mine.'

'Maybe, but you're a fast learner, I'm sure you'll pick it up quickly.'

'Very true. What are your plans for tomorrow?'

'I don't have any as of yet.' She sighed. 'My mother might have something planned for me.'

'How long does it take you to get home from the airport?'

'I should be home in about twenty minutes I think.'

'Are you tired?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, suddenly stifling a yawn. 'That was your fault- I wasn't yawning until you brought up my fatigue.'

'I'm sorry.' He laughed. 'Did you not get much sleep on the plane?'

'No.' she whispered. 'I tried.'

'Don't.' he sighed. 'I'm dreading trying to sleep tonight.'

'It's not easy.' She shook her head.

'We'll be together again soon, though.'

'I wouldn't exactly call it soon.'

'I know.' He sighed.

'But… we can do this.'

'We can do this.'

'I love you, Derek.'

'I love you too.'

'Has Jake gone home now too?'

'Yeah his train left about eight.'

'how's Lara?'

'okay, she's seeing him again at the weekend.'

'I wish we could do that.'

'I know, me too.' He breathed. 'But we'll be okay.'

'yeah.' She smiled tearily.

'Have you spoken to Sadie?'

'yeah, I texted her before. I think I'm going to see her this week depending on my mom.'

'That's good. How about Izzie or Cristina? Have they spoken to you?'

'no.' She sighed. 'I texted them when they left Dartmouth but I haven't heard from them recently.'

'maybe give one of them a call tomorrow.' He suggested gently.

'yeah.' She smiled, as she heard him yawning on the other end of the phone. 'You're tired.' She whispered.

'the drive was long.' He admitted.

'I'll let you go now.' She said gently.

'no, it's okay.'

'Der you were the one telling me to sleep in the car yesterday.' She giggled.

'still, want to talk to you.'

'Go to sleep.' She murmured. 'You have work tomorrow.'

'don't remind me.' He sighed dramatically.

'Go to sleep, Der. I've heard your voice, so I'm happy.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too. So much.'

'so much.' He echoed. 'Forever.'

'Forever.' She smiled, unable to ignore the tingling feeling that came over her as she said the word. _Forever._

 _'_ Okay. I'll go to sleep.'

'good.' She smiled. 'Don't forget to call me tomorrow when you finish. I want to hear all about your first day.'

'of course.' He replied. 'It's all I'll be thinking about all day anyway.'

She giggled at his cheesiness before replying, 'me too.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too. Good night Der.'

'night. Text me when you get home, even if I don't reply.'

'that's pretty pointless Derek.' She laughed.

'at least when I wake up I'll know you're safe.'

'you're crazy.' She giggled.

'only for you.'

'okay, I'm going now.' She laughed.

'Okay. Love you.'

'love you too.' She grinned before hanging up, suddenly feeling a lot better. Only being able to call Derek sucked, but hearing his voice when he was so far away was comforting. He loved her, and she believed him when he said he loved her- which was kind of a bigger deal than him actually loving her.

When they pulled up at Meredith's house, Frank helped her bring her things to the door. She felt exhausted, her body ached from all the crying she'd done hours before, and somehow knowing Derek was asleep made her feel like falling asleep herself would be easier. She reached for her key from her jacket pocket and turned it in the lock, mentally preparing herself for the wrath of her mother.

'Hey mom,' she said loudly in the hope her mother would hear her. She glanced at Frank when she received no reply. 'Thanks Frank. I really appreciate you coming to get me.'

'no worries sweetheart.' He smiled.

'I can take my stuff upstairs.' She nodded to all of her luggage.

'You'll do no such thing.' he shook his head. 'If i remember, your room is second on the left upstairs?'

She grinned at the older man. 'Yes but its fine, you can go home, I can manage.'

'I'll do no such thing. Let me help you carry the heavy ones upstairs.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome, dear.' he smiled at her as she heard her mother's voice approaching.

'No, Richard.' she sighed into the phone as she came into view. 'anyway, I have to go. I'll see you in the morning.'

'hi.' Meredith smiled tentatively.

'Thank you, Frank.' Ellis nodded to the older man.

'My pleasure, Dr. Grey.'

'I'm assuming she didn't cause too much trouble?'

'None at all.' Frank smiled. 'she is a credit to you.'

'Hmmmm.' Ellis breathed. 'Don't let us keep you any longer.'

'oh no thats alright. I was going to help Meredith take her things upstairs.'

'Oh.' said Ellis. 'well in that case, I'll be in my office.'

'no problem, Dr. Grey.' he smiled as Ellis headed for her office.

'Thanks Frank.' Meredith said quietly.

'You're welcome.' he smiled, grabbing a bag and following her up the stairs. 'That wasn't quite the welcome home.' He said gently as they reached her room.

'Oh. I know.' She stammered. 'it's fine.'

'You know if you need anything, I' always here.' He smiled genuinely.

'Thank you.' She grinned.

'And if you find a way to get to New York, I'll be more than happy to take you to the airport.'

'Oh.' She blushed. 'Thanks.'

'you're welcome.' He winked. 'Let's get the rest of these bags.'

Once Frank had helped her bring all her stuff upstairs, she could be bothered to unpack, she was too tired. She could unpack tomorrow. She grabbed the t-shirt she had stolen from Derek out of her rucksack and shoved it on after stripping her own clothes. She reached for a hair tie and her tooth brush, getting herself ready for bed before flopping onto it and wrapping her arms around herself. She could smell him, his cologne and just... him. She smiled as she breathed him in, closing her eyes and remembering the way he had held her the night before after they had made love.

Derek had ordered them pizza while they cuddled, and when they were finished he held her in his arms and carried her to her bed where he laid her down and proceeded to strip her of her clothing. He had kissed every inch of her, running his hands all over her, telling her why he loved every part of her body. She had come so many times during the first round. It was slow, tortuously slow, slower than anything they'd done before. He had stared into her eyes with every thrust and kissed her until their lips were sore. But she didn't care. He was kissing her, he was loving her. She felt so perfect in that moment, he told her he loved he over and over again. Whispered it into her ear as his head fell on her shoulder and his body shook. She had ran her hands up and down his back and kissed any skin she could as he came down from his high, still inside her.

Then they's laid and cuddled, kissing and whispering and touching. Until he'd lowered his hand and began to stroke her, while kissing her furiously, leading to some fast, hot, fucking. He's pounded into her as she begged for it harder, before flipping him over and riding him. Riding him so hard as his mouth moved to her breasts. She'd had a lot of sex for her age and while she loved Derek, she didnt think he was going to be as dirty as he was, she thought the sex would only be better because she loved him. But he was really really good in bed, like seriously good. Even if she wasn't in love with him, she'd sleep with him for the sex alone, he was amazing.

The whole night had been a combination of the three: making love, cuddling and hot fucking. Right now she would take any of the three.

She sighed, and sent him a message.

-I'm home. I love you.

She knew she wouldn't be getting a response, he had work in the morning and was probably asleep. Or trying, at least.

Her mother hadn't come to her room or spoken to her, so she took the packet of chips she'd bought at the airport out of her back pack and settled back on her bed, wishing she was with her boyfriend. As she got under her covers, she laid down with her chips open next to her and closed her eyes, remembering their last conversation before she left for the airport.

 _'I guess this is it.' she said nervously, reaching for his hand and intertwining her fingers with his._

 _'Yeah.' he said quietly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear with his free hand. 'I love you so much, Meredith.'_

 _'I love you too.' she whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against hers, her mouth immediately opening to let his tongue into her. She groaned as her tongue danced wth his and his arms wrapped around her. 'Love you.' she whispered against his lips._

 _'Love you. And I'm not leaving you.'_

 _'Not leaving you either.'_

 _'Because I love you.' he murmured. 'I. Love. You.' he said, pushing all her hair back from her face and leaning to press another kiss to her lips._

 _'I love you so much.'_

 _'Every day, I'm going to call you every day.'_

 _'Every day.' she nodded._

 _'Until I see you again.'_

 _'I know.' she whispered, a tear making it's way down her cheek._

 _'Don't cry.' he soothed._

 _'I'm not.' she shook her head as more tears fell._

 _'Oh Mer, come here.' he said, pulling her into his arms, his cologne taking over her senses, his arms around her all she could feel._

 _'Don't want to go.' she whimpered._

 _'I know. I don't want you to go either.'_

 _'Don't want to leave you.'_

 _'Me neither. But we're going to be okay, Mer.'_

 _'We're going to be okay.' she nodded, pulling back to see his own cheeks wet._

 _'You believe that, don't you?'_

 _'Yeah.' she sniffled. 'You're not going to forget me.' she nodded, more telling herself than him._

 _'I could never forget you.' he smiled, cupping her cheek. 'I'm in love with you, Meredith Grey.'_

 _'I'm in love with you too.' she breathed, leaning into his touch._

 _'Remember when I told you we were always going to be best friends?'_

 _'Yeah.' she nodded._

 _'And together forever?'_

 _'Yeah.' she whispered, her hand coming to rest on his own cheek._

 _'I meant those things, Mer.'_

 _'Me too.'_

 _'I love you. And I want to be with you as long as you'll have me.'_

 _'Me too.'_

 _'Promise me you'll text me when you get off the plane?'_

 _'Of course.' she kissed him softly._

 _'I love you.'_

 _'I love you too.'_

 _'And we're going to be okay.'_

 _'We're going to be okay.' she nodded, smiling sadly as a single tear made it's way down her cheek, Derek's arms tightly around her, his lips brushing hers._


	36. Chapter 37

_Hi guys! Sorry for the delay in updates! Hopefully I'll have the next one with you tonight or tomorrow as it is Friday night and my studying can take a break. Hope you enjoy, thank you for reading and please review!_

Meredith grabbed her tub of strawberry ice cream out of the refrigerator, and a spoon from the drawer before running back upstairs and situating herself on her bed, sitting back against her pillows. Her phone lay in front of her on the bed, on full volume, awaiting the ten past three pm call from her boyfriend once he reached home. It was Friday, so Derek's third day working for his uncle Stanley and their fifth day apart.

He rang her on Monday after his first shift, and she had been waiting by her phone just as she was now. He had said it was okay, he wasn't as weak as he looked and apparently there were two other employees their age, and he managed to keep up with them in terms of lifting, which he had been worried about. But she knew he would be fine, his arms always felt strong when she was in them.

He said the weather had been really hot, and not very comfortable to work in, especially on a first day. But she had checked and he had been keeping himself hydrated, apparently drank two and a half litres of water on his shift. His uncle had apparently been impressed and he seemed to like the other two boys he was working with. He said they were nice and they'd had a laugh, which seemed to ease his nerves. The other two boys were permanent. employees who had gone on to work for Stanley after high school so were obviously a lot more trained and experienced than him, so were doing most of the technical work. He was just doing the simpler stuff. But as he said, it was extra money. He didn't have a rich, surgeon mom like her to pay for things, he was living on student loans and his mom had gone back to work as a nurse three days a week following his dad's death. He needed this money, and so she was happy he was at least enjoying earning it.

Tuesday she had seen Sadie and they had crashed at hers with a pizza and a few drinks, although Meredith didn't get as drunk as her friend. She had to put her to bed in the end and get her some painkillers, then texted Derek to say good night.

Wednesday had been Derek's second day, he said he was still enjoying it, which was good. They had a job to finish building a small wall of a local store car park, and one of the other boys had been teaching him how to mix cement, so that had been his role for the day. Apparently Mark had started the job with them the day before, so learnt to mix then.

Yesterday she hadn't done anything but study. Her mom had come home from the hospital late Wednesday and actually had a conversation with Meredith while they ate their dinner. Not that she'd enjoyed it. Ellis was nagging her about preparation reading for the next semester, looking through her class enrollments and assigning her readings to do prior to going back to school. She'd woken her up at eight the following morning and instructed her to study, so she had splayed her books out over the dining room table, before ringing her boyfriend who was already eating his lunch. He was going out with Imogen and Olivia in the afternoon to the movies, they'd apparently forced him to agree to watching some new chick flick that had come out. He didn't even know the name of it to tell her. She smiled as she heard his sisters shouting in the background, but her heart ached that she wasn't sat in the kitchen with them, next to Derek.

She grinned as her ringtone began to play and her screen illuminated, answering the call and putting her cell on speaker, seeing as her mother was at work.

'Hey!'

'Hey,' he replied happily.

'Had a good day?' she asked, lying on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows and spooned ice cream into her mouth.

'Very good, thank you. How about you?'

'Okay.' She sighed. 'I was supposed to be studying, so I've done a bit, but I ended up on the couch watching the cop show for a few hours.'

'Our cop show?' he laughed.

'Yes.' She giggled. 'You still don't know the name of it do you?'

'No.' he chuckled, admittedly.

' _Caught_.' She replied.

'Pretty ironic seeing as they have a habit of not catching people.' He mused.

'I know.' She laughed. 'So how was your day? Was work tiring?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'It was really hot again. I had to take my checked shirt off and just work in my vest.' He said, and she could tell he was smirking.

'And why did I receive no pictures?' she feigned hurt.

'Maybe next time.'

'Excuse me, Derek Shepherd we had a deal.'

'If I remember correctly, Meredith Grey, the deal had no mention of vests. Merely checked shirts.'

'Can I make an amendment to this deal?'

'If you wish.'

'Well, from now on, the obligation to take pictures is extended to merely vest wearing. As well as checked shirts.'

'Your wish is my command.'

'Were you still working on the wall?' she breathed, eating more ice cream.

'No, they finished that yesterday. We were at an old lady's house building a wall in her back garden.'

'Was she nice?'

'Yeah, I knew her actually. She's a friend of my mom's from church but I haven't seen her since Christmas, and before then it was the Christmas after. So she was talking to me for quite a while.'

'That's nice.' She smiled. 'What's she called?'

'Mavis. She was asking all about you.'

'She was?' Meredith breathed.

'Yes, apparently my mom was gushing about my girlfriend at church on Sunday and how perfect she was for me. So Mavis wanted all the details.'

'Really?' Meredith giggled.

'Yep.'

'What did you say?'

'That mom's right, you are perfect for me.'

'You said that?' she grinned.

'Of course I did.' He laughed. 'You mock me all the time for being cheesy, remember?'

'Shut up.' She laughed. 'What else was she asking?'

'Mavis? Just how we met, what you were called, what you were like where you were from, all the usual stuff really.'

'Is she nice?'

'Yeah, I like her. She's quite old, about seventy five I think. But she's lovely.'

'That's cute.'

'Yeah, she was telling me how much she adored Imogen.'

'Really?' Meredith laughed.

'Yes, apparently she is the most polite young person at the Sunday service. Which I find hard to believe, the mouth on her.'

'She must wash her mouth out for church.' Meredith laughed.

'Turn on her alternative personality.' He mirrored her laugh.

'How was your movie yesterday?'

'For a chick film it was actually quite good.' He replied. 'I think you would have liked it.'

'Did you find out what it was called?'

'I did, but I cant remember. I'll ask Imogen when I go downstairs and text it you. I'll buy it you when it comes out and we can watch it together.'

'That sounds good.' She smiled.

'What are your plans for tonight?' he asked. 'What time is it there? Twenty past three?'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'Nothing really,'

'No?' he asked sadly.

'No. I don't know what time my mom's home from the hospital. Or if she's even coming home. So I'll probably make some grilled cheese later if she's not back.'

'I love you.' He said randomly. Although she knew it wasn't random. He felt bad that she had no plans, and he knew he couldn't offer her any. But he offered her his love. And it made her heart do a little jump.

'I love you too.' She breathed. 'I love you so much.'

'I miss you.'

'I miss you too.'

'We say this every day.' He laughed.

'We do.' She giggled.

'But it's true. I love you and miss you more than you will ever know.'

'I think I do know.' She pouted. 'Because I love and miss you more.'

'No you don't.'

'Yes I do.'

'Not possible.'

'Very possible.'

'No one loves anyone more than I love you.'

'Yes they do. Me.'

'Nope.' He shook his head.

'Yes.'

'I am not having this argument with you thousands of miles away across the country.'

'Then I guess we'll just resume it when we're back at Dartmouth.'

'I guess we will.'

'You don't sound very worried about that.'

'I don't need to be. I know I win.'

'No you don't!' she giggled.

'Yes I do!'

'No you don't.' she repeated.

'I just told you I'm not having this argument.'

'Whatever.' She laughed.

'I would say I love you but I just know it would start this again.'

'It would.' She agreed, grinning. 'Where are you?'

'At home.' He sighed.

'No, where are you? Like in your room?'

'Yeah, on my bed.'

'Interesting.' She breathed, jumping up off her bed and shutting her door, turning the lock.

'Interesting?' he echoed.

'Very interesting.' She repeated, placing her ice cream tub on her bedside table.

'And why is my location interesting?' he smirked.

'Because you're in your bed, and so am I.'

'Oh.'

'And we like beds.'

'I see where this is going.'

'Is there potential for people walking in?' she asked.

'Yeah. But I can fix that.'

'Good. I don't want your mom hearing me urging you to come.'

'God, Mer.' He groaned, and tingles shot through her body at the thought of his expression.

'So, you can fix the door?'

'Yeah, one second.' He said, moving slightly before returning to his cell. 'My chair's blocking it.'

'Good.' She whispered. 'I miss you.'

'I miss you too.'

'All of you.' She breathed, slipping herself under the sheets.

'Fuck, you too.'

'I'm horny, Derek.'

'Me too, now.'

'What clothes are you wearing?'

'my white vest and jeans from work.'

'So your arms are out?' She asked breathless, moving a hand to her clothed breast.

'Yeah.'

'Fuck.'

'What are you wearing?' He asked quietly, and she could tell he was turned on.

'Oh... sweats.. not very sexy.'

'You're sexy.' He breathed. 'Which sweats?'

'My burgundy ones.'

'Fuck. With the long sleeved, tight top?'

'Yeah.'

'You're breasts look so big in that.'

'They do?' She whispered.

'Yeah. Every time you wear them I just think about ripping them off.'

'Shall I do it for you? Seeing as you're not here?' She purred.

'Fuck yes, take them off baby.'

'Okay.' She whispered. 'You have to get naked too.'

'Okay.' He agreed.

'Are your clothes off?' She murmured after slipping off her sweats but leaving her underwear on.

'Yeah.' He breathed.

'Good.'

'Are yours?'

'Yeah. My nipples feel so tight against my bra.'

'Oh fuck Mer...' he groaned.

'They do.' She whimpered.

'Which bra?'

'Blue.'

'Oh.' He breathed.

'and white panties.'

'are they wet?'

'Not a lot.'

'No?'

'Well, I need warming up.' She smirked, reaching into her bra to flick her nipple.

'Warm yourself up for me baby.'

'How?' She whispered.

'You want instruction?'

'Yes. You make me so wet, Der.'

'What do you think I would do if I were there?'

'Kiss me.'

'Fuck I wish I could kiss you.'

'Me too.' She whimpered, squirming as the thought of his lips on hers sent pleasure to her clit.

'You want me to tell you what I would do to you right now if I were there?'

'pl... please...' she whimpered.

'You're wearing your blue bra?' He confirmed.

'yeah.' She nodded, her hands on her breasts.

'I'd lick along the cups.' He breathed. 'Before pushing it down.'

'Oh...' she gasped.

'you want to push it down for me baby?'

'Yeah...' she gasped, pushing the cups down and scooping her breasts out of them.

'Fuck. Are your breasts out?' He breathed heavily.

'Yes, ready for you.'

'Baby I love you.' He groaned, and she sensed he was stoking himself.

'i love you too.' She whimpered. 'My nipples are so hard.'

'So is my dick.'

'Have you got it out for me?'

'Y...yeah...' he groaned.

'stroke it, baby.'

'I am.' he breathed.

'Fuck.'

'I'd be sucking your nipples if I were there right now.'

'Oh...' she gasped, her fingers trailing over them.

'pinch them for me. I know how wet that makes you.'

'Wetter when you do it...' she whimpered, pinching her nipples and thrilling in the pleasure.

'oh does that feel good baby?' he asked.

'Yeah...' she nodded, pinching them again.

'Fuck I wish I could see you.'

'Me too...'

'I bet you look so sexy...' he breathed.

'How... how hard are you?'

'painfully.'

'Oh...'

'I want to be inside you.'

'I want you inside me too...'

'Mer... push your panties down.'

'Kay... kay...' she breathed, pushing them down her legs and unhooking her bra before laying lack down.

'Are they off?'

'yes... and my bra.'

'so you're naked for me?'

'Yes.' she whimpered, a hand snaking down her body to her folds. 'I want you.' she whispered.

'I want you too.'

'I'm wet, Der.'

'How wet baby?'

'Really wet...' she cried, rubbing at her clit.

'What are you doing? Tell me.'

'Ru... rubbing...' she panted.

'your clit?'

'yes...' she whimpered, her other hand going to her breast.

'Fuck... fuck...'

'oh... Derek...'

'fuck yourself for me...' he breathed. 'Fuck yourself.'

'Oh!' she gasped as she pushed a finger inside her before adding a second.

'Are you doing it baby?'

'oh... oh yes... Derek... oh baby oh...'

'Fuck yes...' he breathed.

'Tell me..' she gasped. 'Are you imaging my fingers are your dick?'

'Fuck yes baby.'

'Your big, hard dick...' she panted, fucking herself faster.

'In your tight wet pussy...'

'Oh...' She could hear him jerking off, hear him groaning and moaning as his fist pumped. 'Fuck... Derek...'

'Oh shit...'

'You pounding into me...' she breathed, raising her hips off the bed to take her own fingers deeper.

'So... so hard.' he stammered.

'So hard... so deep... so big...'

'Fuck... so deep... i want to be so deep inside of you Mer...'

'Then go deeper...' she urged. hearing him pumping faster on the other end of the line.

'Fuck... fuck... fuck... Mer... baby... I'm going to come...'

'Come for me...' she breathed, rubbing her clit as her fingers moved frantically.

'Oh... Oh...'

'Come.'

'you... you come... fuck yourself for me baby...'

'I am!' she cried, her body tightening ready for release.

'Come...'

'You come...'

'going to...' he breathed.

'Oh!' she gasped, massaging her breast as her body began to convulse. 'Derek! Derek! Baby i'm... oh! Derek!'

'Come for me...' he gasped.

'Shit! Derek fuck! Fuck!' she cried as she felt the orgasm wash over her.

'Mer! Baby I'm coming!'

'Come... coming...' she panted. 'Fuck! Derek!'

'Oh Meredith!'

'Oh...' she gasped as her chest rose and fell.

'Oh my god...' he groaned, breathing heavily.

'Did you come hard?' she managed to whisper.

'Yeah.'

'Me too.'

'I wish you were here.'

'Me too. I miss sex.'

'Me too.'

'Lots of sex when we go back.' she breathed, her hands running lazily over her naked body.

'we've already agreed this, Mer.'

'just reminding you.' she giggled.

'Like I need reminding.' He said sarcastically.

'I'll probably jump you the minute I see you.'

'Please.' she whispered.

'I will.' he promised.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'are yoy still naked?' she asked.

'Yeah.'

'Fuck.'

'are you?'

'Yes. You have no idea how much I want to ride you right now.'

'oh my god Mer...' he groaned.

'sorry.' she giggled.

'What I would give for you to ride me.'

'I love you.' she grinned widely, because somehow it seemed impossible to say it too much.

'I love you too.' he whispered.

 _Thank you for reading please review! X_


	37. Chapter 38

_Thank you for reading! Please review X_

Derek smiled as he heard the house phone ring, he was sat at the dinner table with Alison, Imogen, Olivia and Claire for family dinner, Mark was still at work and Lara was at Jake's. His mom stood from the table to answer it, even though they all knew it was Meredith.

'I would so laugh if it was Aunt Brenda.' Claire laughed.

'Same.' Said Imogen. 'You look like you're a kid on Christmas, Der.'

'Shut up.' He laughed, unable to stop the smile on his face.

'You literally talk to her everyday, and nothing major happens in that time, I don't understand how you can be so excited to speak to her.' His youngest sister continued.

'Shut up.' He repeated, waiting for his mom to bring him the phone and excuse him from the table.

'It's because he looooooves her.' Olivia teased.

'Derek and Meredith sitting in a tree…' Imogen began laughing. ' g!' the other two joined in, all bursting into laughter as Alison returned with the phone.

'Derek dear, it's for you.' She smiled, handing it to him.

'Ooooooo!' squealed Olivia.

'Shut up.' He groaned, pushing his chair back and walking out of the room. 'Hey,' he breathed, climbing the stairs.

'Hey,' came his girlfriend's voice.

'How are you doing?'

'Good.' She replied. 'You?'

'Me too.' He nodded.

'What have you been doing today?'

'Not much.' He sighed. 'I drove Imogen and Ruth to the mall and then hung out with Liv watching tv this afternoon. You?'

'Urugh.' She sighed. 'I've had the day from hell.'

'You just said you were good!' he laughed.

'Well I am now.'

'Oh.'

'So anyway, back to my day from hell,' she continued as he sat on his bed. 'I just had an argument with my mom.' She sighed.

'You did?' he asked gently.

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'So I stormed up here, locked my door and rang you.'

'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' She said quietly.

'What did you fight about?'

'She told me I couldn't go out with Sadie tomorrow.'

'You're not a kid anymore, she cant tell you you cant see your friends if you want to.'

'That's what I said! And then she said I might as well be a kid because of my lack of drive and ambition in life.'

'She said that?'

'Yeah. And she said if I ever wanted to get anywhere I have to stay in and study tomorrow because my grades aren't good enough.'

'You literally got straight As, Mer.'

'I know! But apparently they weren't good enough. And I'm not focused enough.'

'How does she even know how much you've been studying she's hardly been home from the hospital these last three weeks?'

'I said that, too.'

'What did she say?'

'She started going on about how she didn't have time to babysit me, and she didn't care about my trivial friends- apparently she has real work to do.'

'But you're her daughter, she should want to spend time with you.'

'I know.' She sighed. 'But she never will.'

'Well that's sad.'

'I'm past caring, really.' His girlfriend admitted.

'Well for what it's worth, she doesn't know what she's missing.'

'Thanks.' She giggled, unconvinced.

'You know that I love you, right?'

'I do. And I love you too.'

'Good.' He smiled. 'Just think the less time she spends with you the more you get to spend with me,' he smirked, trying to make her laugh.

'Well not really,' she laughed. 'Seeing as you're hours away.'

'True. But more time on the phone with me.'

'That is true.' She giggled. 'What were you doing when I called?'

'Having dinner.'

'Oh. Sorry, you can go back. I didn't mean to interrupt.'

'Don't be stupid.' He laughed. 'This is the highlight of my day.'

'I can call later. You were eating.'

'No, it's fine. I was almost finished anyway.'

'Are you sure?' she said sheepishly.

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'I want to make sure you're okay.'

'Okay.' She breathed, before suddenly falling silent. 'Der, can I ring you back later?'

'Yeah of course.' He breathed. 'I love you.'

'Love you too.' She whispered.

'Bye.'

'Bye.'

He hung up the phone before sighing and heading back downstairs where his mom and sisters would be waiting ready to tease him.

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'What?' she groaned after Derek hung up the phone.

'Open this door, Meredith.'

'What do you want?' she demanded.

'Meredith Elizabeth open this door right now.'

'No.'

'Meredith…' her mom sighed.

'Go away.'

'Meredith….'

'I was on the phone.'

'Well whatever it is, it can wait.'

'No, it cant actually.' She pouted.

'Open the door right now.' Her mother said sternly, forcing Meredith to sigh and climb off her bed, opening the door, but not far enough for her mother to enter her room.

'What?'

'Honestly Meredith, you wonder why I have to treat you like a child when all you do is act like one.'

'I'm not a child. I'm nine teen years old.'

'Well you don't act like it.'

'I'm nine teen, mom. I'm supposed to be having fun.'

'I thought we got out of this phase when you returned your hair to normal colour.' Ellis sighed.

'Out of what?' Meredith frowned.

'You, being reckless.'

'I am not reckless.' Meredith protested.

'Ha!' her mother laughed.

'I'm not.'

'Honestly Meredith, you need to grow up.'

'You need to give me some slack.'

'That's the last thing you need.'

'I'm a good kid, mom.'

'Yeah, but you're far from the best, aren't you?'

'I'm doing a pre-medical degree at Dartmouth! What more do you want from me?!'

'To have some focus, some drive. Something about you.'

'I have focus.'

'So that's why you want to go out and get drunk with Sadie tomorrow night is it?'

'I want to go out with Sadie tomorrow night because you've made me study all week and I want to have some fun.'

'Fine. Go. But don't come crawling to me when you don't make anything of yourself. Achieving your goals takes some sacrifice, Meredith. You cant just be doing what you want when you want.'

'I'm not even at Medical school yet!' Meredith cried. 'I'm an undergraduate!'

'With this attitude you'll never even get to medical school. Honestly, you're just like your father always was. Weak.'

She stood, unable to argue back. She didn't know what to say. All she wanted was to close the door in her mother's face and curl into Derek's arms, but she couldn't do either.

'And they way you've been speaking to me, I… Meredith it's unacceptable.'

'Sorry.' She mumbled, just wanting her mom to leave her alone.

'I don't know what to do with you, Meredith.' She sighed again.

'Sorry, mom.' She said quietly.

'Richard was just on the phone. I'm going to a conference in San Diego next weekend.'

'Oh.' She breathed.

'Friday to Monday morning. So I wont be here. But Richard will be calling to make sure you're at home, studying.'

'Oh.' She repeated.

'If you're not… well…' she sighed. 'If you're not it's your own future you're intent on ruining.'

'I'm not ruining my future, mom. I work hard.'

Ellis laughed harshly before eyeing Meredith carefully. 'I'm going to the hospital now, to prepare for this conference. I'm on call tonight so I'm not sure when I'll be home.'

'Okay.'

'I expect your attitude to have improved when I come back.'

'Okay.' Meredith replied stubbornly.

'And give me your cell phone.'

'What? Mom! No.'

'Give it to me.'

'Mom…'

'Give it to me, or I'll cancel the bill and you can have an ineffective one.'

'But I need my cell phone mom!'

'What? So you can call your friends and make plans with Sadie when you should be studying?'

'I need to talk to my friends, mom. I miss them.'

'They're a distraction.'

'Okay.' She said quietly, walking to her bed and handing her mom her cell phone. If she thought her friends were a distraction, Meredith knew there was no way she would accept Derek.

'Thank you.' Ellis said sharply. 'I'll lock the door on my way out.'

'Okay.' Meredith pouted, shutting the door in her mother's face.

She groaned and fell on her bed, she couldn't even call Derek until she heard her mom leave the house. She fought back the tears that were threatening to fall, all she wanted was to be cuddled up with him, his arms around her and his lips pressing onto her cheek and head. She wanted to see him so badly. There was no way her mom would ever allow her to go to New York to see him, she didn't even know he existed, and she wouldn't be happy.

But this time next week, her mother wouldn't be there…. For four whole days. Four whole days where she knew her mother wouldn't be around. If she had the money in her own account she would jump on a plane and head for Derek's as soon as her mother was out the door. But she'd been looking at flights to New York from Seattle last week purely out of interest, with hope of it ever actually happening. They were nearing $400, and while she had some money in her account, she didn't have that much. Maybe she could ask her mom for the difference and spend what little was in her account. But then again she'd have no spending money once she was in New York, and no money when her mom got back which would make her suspicious. And she wouldn't be in to answer Richard's calls, which would make her even more suspicious.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the front door bang. She rushed to her window and watched as her mother drove off the driveway and down the street before running downstairs to the phone.

She dialled Derek's house number and waited for him to pick up.

'Hello The Shepherd House, Olivia speaking.' Came his sister's voice with the greeting they had all been taught to answer with.

'Hey Liv.'

'Oh, Mer, hey.'

'Hey,' she smiled.

'I'm assuming you're after Derek.' His sister laughed.

'Yes please.' She said sheepishly.

'No worries, I'll go get him for you.'

'Thanks.' She smiled. 'How are you?'

'Good thanks.'

'Derek said you hung out today?'

'Yeah.' She laughed. 'We're trying to take shifts.'

'Shifts?' Meredith laughed, confused.

'I don't know what he's told you, but he really misses you.' His sister said quietly as she made her way upstairs.

'Oh. I miss him too.'

'He mopes a lot. So we try and hang out with him. Even if it's just sitting in the same room.'

'Oh. Thanks.'

'I'm at his room now, I'll speak to you soon?'

'Definitely.' Meredith smiled.

'Kay. Der? You're wife's on the phone.'

'Mer?' he she heard him ask, before his voice was coming down the phone. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' She smiled.

'Everything okay?'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'Sorry about before. My mom was at my door.'

'Oh. Is everything okay?'

'Yeah. We kind of fought.'

'Kind of?'

'Yeah. It wasn't as bad as before…. But we did fight.'

'That's not good. What about this time?'

'Same kind of thing.'

'Ignore her.'

'I know.' She whispered.

'Seriously, Mer. Ignore her.'

'I know.' She repeated, laying back on the couch. 'I wish you were here.'

'Me too.' He whispered.

'I… never mind….'

'What?'

'Nothing, Derek.'

'Meredith. What?'

'It doesn't matter because even if… it doesn't matter.' She shook her head.

'Tell me.'

'No, Derek.'

'Best friend. Together forever, tell me.'

'Derek…' she sighed.

'What? What could possibly be happening that you cant tell me?'

'Okay.' She sighed. 'My mom's going to be out of town next weekend.'

'Oh. Where's she going?'

'San Diego I think she said. Conference.'

'Oh.'

'Friday to Monday.'

'Oh.'

'And I was thinkinggggg, well. I looked at flights to New York.'

'You did?' he breathed.

'They're four hundred dollars, Der.'

'Oh.'

'And I don't have that much money. I have like probably about a hundred in my account after I came last time and I cant ask her for three hundred dollars without her asking me what it's for. And then I'll have literally no money for when I get there. Or when she gets back. And she's having someone check on me.'

'Oh.' He said deflated.

'But I really want to see you.' She murmured sheepishly. 'So… I was wondering… if you could come out here?' she bit her lip. Waiting. Waiting for him to say no. Because she knew he would.

'God Mer.' He breathed. 'I miss you like crazy. I miss you so much I… I would love to but I…'

Her heart dropped into her stomach at his words. Why did she even mention it. She knew he couldn't.

'Forget it.' She said instantly.

'No, Mer…' he protested.

'Forget it, Derek.' She said, shaking her head. She sounded needy, and stupid. And she knew he was working and she knew he didn't have any money and she sounded pathetic asking him to come out. Why would he pay all that to see her when she wouldn't pay to see him?

'Hey, no. No. Listen to me.'

'Derek…'

'Listen to me.'

'Okay.' She sighed, tears forming in her eyes. Why was she crying? She was crying. All she wanted was to see him.

'I want to see you. I really, really want to see you. But I'm working.' He sighed.

'I know.'

'I'll talk to my Uncle and see if he'll give me time off.'

'Seriously?' she breathed.

'Seriously. I want to see you Mer, I miss you.'

'I miss you too.' She breathed. 'I miss you so much.'

'Me too.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Let me know what Stanley says?'

'Of course.'

'I really hope you can come.'

'Me too. I've missed you so much.'

'Me too.' She whispered.

'I'm going to have to go, mom's shouting me. But I'll call you tomorrow after work, okay?'

'Okay.'

'And I'll ask Stanley first thing in the morning.'

'Okay.' She grinned.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I love you so much. And ignore your mom.'

'I will.' She nodded.

'Kay. I love you.'

'Love you too.'

'Bye.'

'Bye.'

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Derek hung up the phone and raced downstairs to the living room where his mom and siblings were sat watching tv.

'Alright Usane Bolt, calm down.' Said Claire as he burst into the living room.

'Mark…' he said breathlessly. 'Can you work Friday and Sunday for me next week?'

'What?' frowned his brother.

'Please?'

'Derek, whatever is this about?' asked Alison.

'Mark? Please?'

'Why?'

'Please.'

'Why?'

'Shouldn't the fact I'm begging be reason enough.'

'No. Why?'

'Please. I want to surprise Meredith. Please.'

'How did we know?' Imogen laughed, rolling her eyes.

'Shut up.' He snapped, turning around. 'Mark.'

'You want me to work four days straight so you can fuck your girlfriend like a bunny?'

'Mark, honestly.' Frowned Alison.

'Sorry Ma.'

'No, her and her mom aren't getting on at the minute and next weekend she's out of town. So I want to surprise her.'

'What's in it for me?'

'You'll have my wages, obviously.'

'Seriously? That's it?'

'Fifty bucks?'

'Hundred.'

'Hundred?!'

'Hundred.'

'Mark, have a heart.' Said Alison.

'I'll do it. For a hundred I'll do it.'

'That's a quarter of the flight money.'

'Up to you.' Mark shrugged.

'Do it Mark.' Snapped Olivia. 'He'd do it for you.'

'Yeah right.' Mark laughed.

'Well then I'll give you the other fifty, Der.'

'No, Liv.' He sighed.

'Mark do it for fifty you jack ass.' Said Imogen.

'Language, really.' Glared Alison.

'Sorry, Ma.'

'Do it, Mark.' Said Olivia.

'Fine.' He sighed. 'But you owe me.' He eyed Derek.

'Of course. Thanks, man.'

'Yeah well, you have to clear it with Stan first.'

'I will.' Derek nodded. 'Thanks, man.'

'Hmmm. Youre welcome.'

'And no-one,' he turned around to face them all. 'No-one tell Meredith.'

'Okay.' Liv nodded.

'Course not.' Smiled Claire.

'She thinks I'm asking Stan in the morning for the time off and I'm going to tell her he said no.'

'Why? If she knows it might give her something to look forward to.' Said Imogen. 'If her and her mom are arguing?'

'No. I want to surprise her.' He shook his head.

'I think it's romantic.' Smiled Alison.

'Thanks, Ma.' He smiled, moving out of the door, back to the stairs, before popping back round the door. 'And remember no-one tell her. No one.'

'We wont.' Laughed Liv.

'Good.' He grinned.

'Off you go Romeo.' Laughed Imogen as he laughed and headed back up the stairs.

 _Thank you for reading! Please Review X_


	38. Chapter 39

_Thank you for reading! Please Review X_

Meredith sighed, adopting her usual position on her bed with her strawberry ice cream and bottle of water, waiting for her boyfriend to call her once he got home from work. Her mother had left for San Diego that morning, and she had ordered herself a pizza for lunch and vegged out on the sofa, watching _Caught_. Derek had rang her on Sunday and told her his Uncle wouldn't give him the time off, they had a job in a school which was only shut for two weeks before opening a summer school, so he couldn't afford to have any staff off, he'd even asked Mark to work today with him as an extra pair of hands. She sighed, wanting nothing more than to be with him. She really thought her mom being away was a window of opportunity for them to see each other. She knew it was unfair and improbable for him to fly all the way to see her. But the selfish part of her really wanted her to not go to work and be here with her. Because she missed him.

Somehow in the last twelve months, less actually, she had become one of the girls she had previously hated. Those girls who were so in love with their boyfriends, and pined after them. And wanted to be with them all the time. This wasn't her. But now it was. Sadie was the only friend she'd really seen since she'd been back, she'd rang Izzie last week but she didn't pick up. She was probably visiting Alex or something. Because they didn't have mothers who confined them to their houses to study all summer. Urugh. Where was Derek? He was supposed to call her five minutes ago.

She had considered telling her mom, about Derek, last night. It almost slipped out as she was fighting with her. But she knew she couldn't, otherwise things would only get worse between them. She'd probably blame Derek for her attitude or her lack of studying or whatever.

Her cell lit up and showed her boyfriend's name, immediately causing her to grin.

'Hey,'

'Hey.'

'I love you.' She said quickly, feeling the need to tell him that.

'I love you too.' He breathed, like a reflex.

'How was your day?' she asked, leaning back against her pillows.

'Good.' He sighed. 'Long.'

'Is the school job big?'

'Yeah, it's mainly exterior work but there is a section inside which I was having to help with today. Uncle Stan was working with us again today.'

'He was?'

'Yeah, felt a bit more pressure.'

'Did he say anything?'

'Not about me specifically. But he was really nice.'

'That's good. And Mark was working with you today as well?'

'Yeah. It's a big job. I'm having to work tomorrow.'

'You are?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'And he wants Mark to work Sunday.'

'That sucks. But at least you'll get some extra money.'

'True. What have you been up to today? Has your mom gone?'

'Yeah. She left this morning. I was just watching Caught with some pizza and now I'm in my room with some ice cream.'

'Strawberry?'

'How did you guess?' she giggled.

'It was a stab in the dark.' He smirked, causing her to laugh.

'Oh, one second can you hold? I think someone's at the door.'

'Sure.' He replied as she headed down the stairs still on the line.

'It's probably Richard.'

'Richard?'

'My mom's friend. Well… not her friend but…. It's complicated.'

'Okay.' He murmured as she approached the door.

'One sec, I'm just going to answer. Wait there.'

'Okay, I will.'

'Good.' She said, balancing her cell between her ear and shoulder and she fiddled with the key in the lock and opening the door.

'Hey.' He grinned, hanging up his phone in front of her.

This couldn't be real. Derek. Derek was stood at her front door. He was at her door. He was here in Seattle at her house, in his jeans and a light blue button down with his overnight bag over his shoulder. His skin looked more tanned than when she had left him. This could not. Be. Real.

'What the….' She breathed, feeling like she was going to cry, launching herself into his arms and jumping up at him. His arms immediately went around her, pulling her close to him as her legs wrapped around his waist, slightly knocking his bag. She buried her head between his head and shoulder, wrapping her arms tighter around him, relishing in the smell of him. His cologne smelled so good. His arms felt perfect around her back as he squeezed her to him.

'What are you doing here?' she breathed, pulling back from him, tears streaking down her cheeks, a huge grin on her face.

'I came to see you!' He laughed. 'What else would I be doing?'

'Shut up, you ass.' She laughed, wiping at her tears and hitting him lightly. 'You knew what I meant.'

'I know.' He smiled, leaning to kiss her gently. She immediately responded, eagerly nibbling at his lips before plunging her tongue into his mouth. He tasted minty, like he'd just gotten rid of some gum or something. She had missed him so much. So much. And her tongue explored his mouth as if she'd never kissed him before. She wanted more of him. It was cheesy and ridiculous but in Derek's arms like this she really felt like she was at home. Like she was where she was meant to be. It felt perfect. She pulled back, breathless and kissed his lips again softly, still around his waist at the front door.

'What happened to _Sorry Mer, Uncle Stan's being an ass and won't give me time off_?'

'I lied.' He laughed.

'You're so annoying.'

'I thought it would be a nice surprise!' He laughed.

'It is.' She whispered. 'The best.'

'I thought so.' He smirked.

'I've missed you so much.' She said, before capturing his lips again.

'I've missed you too.' he whispered against her lips.

'I can't believe you're here.'

'Well I am.' he laughed.

'Thank you.'

'No place I'd rather be.'

Her stomach did a little swirl and she rested her forehead against his. 'How long are you here for?'

'Fly out Monday morning, I thought early because I didn't know what time your mom got in.'

'I don't know what time she lands.' she whispered. 'But we can figure it out.'

'I fly at seven.'

'So you're here three nights.' she grinned.

'I am.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I can't believe you're here.'

'You just said that.' he laughed.

'Well I still can't.' she started to roll her eyes but ended up laughing, leaning to kiss him again. 'So I take it Stan gave you the time off work?'

'Yeah.' he sighed. 'Well, I asked if Mark could cover for me and he said yeah.'

'That's nice of him.'

'Yeah.' Derek nodded.

'And Mark.'

'Mark was annoying.' He rolled his eyes.

'How?' she giggled.

'Let's just say he's an expensive laborer.'

'Oh.' she giggled, running her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck.

'But I guess you're worth it.' he winked.

'Thanks.' she whispered. 'I know I asked you but... you didn't have to come out here... I know it's expensive and... I know it was a lot to ask...'

'Well there's no other way I'd rather spend my money.'

'But it's a lot, Derek...'

'And I have a job.'

'You've only had it for four weeks.'

'Yeah and I've got enough money, so it's fine.'

'Okay.' she said unconvincingly. 'I can give you some money towards the flight or whatever...'

'You'll do no such thing.'

'Derek...' she sighed.

'No.' he kissed her. 'You.' he kissed her again. 'Won't.' he kissed her again.

'Derek!' she giggled as he kissed all over her face, her arms tightening around his neck.

'I love you.' he whispered into her ear, sucking on her lobe slightly.

'I love you.' she breathed, closing her eyes.

'I've missed you so much.'

'M...missed you too...' Her breath hitching in her throat as he began to suck at her neck.

'Fuck Mer...' he groaned, pressing his hips into her.

'Der...'

'I could fuck you right here.'

'Please...' she whimpered.

'Oh...' he groaned, kissing her hard.

'Inside... Inside...' she whispered against his lips.

'Okay.' he breathed, stepping inside and kicking the door shut, before capturing her lips again. His hands moving from her waist to her ass, pressing her to him.

'Fuck... Fuck me Derek...'

'Here is okay?' he breathed into her mouth.

'Couch... through there...' she whispered, nodding into the living room.

'Okay...' he breathed, carrying her in there.

'Fuck... Der...' she breathed as he placed her on the couch. 'I want you to fuck me so hard.' she gasped.

'You know I can do that.' he said, throwing his over the shoulder bag onto the floor before moving on top of her.

'What if I forgot?' she tried to smirk but ended up short of breath in anticipation, grasping his head in her hands as she kissed him.

'Hmmmm..' he groaned. 'I've thought about this so much...'

'The whole last four weeks...' she gasped as his hips rocked into hers.

'You know how hard I can fuck you.'

'Yes... Yes... Please. Derek...' she panted. 'Please baby...' she breathed, reaching between them to quickly undo his fly.

'Missed you...' he breathed, reaching to pull her top off. 'Fuck you're gorgeous.'

'Derek...' she breathed, reaching for the buttons on his button down.

'Off...' he nodded, shrugging it off his shoulders and immediately ducking his head down to her cleavage. 'Fuck...'

'Derek...' she repeated, her hands moving to his hair.

'So gorgeous...' he repeated, pushing her bra straps down her arms. 'This... off.'

'Off...' she breathed, sitting up slightly so he could unhook it and throw it on the floor. 'Derek!' she gasped as he sucked at her nipple.

'Hmmmm...' he breathed against her.

'Fuck Der... you... right there...'

'You're so hot.' he whispered, kissing her extremely pert nipple before moving to suck on her other one.

'I cant... Derek...'

'So hot.'

'Derek... oh my god...'

'Mer...' he groaned moving to push her pants down.

'Yes... yes.. please Derek...'

'You want me to fuck you?' he breathed into her ear.

'Yes... yes Derek please...'

'Fuck...'

'Please Derek...' she whimpered. 'Want you... so bad... want you...'

'You want me?' he breathed as her fingers fumbled with his boxers, releasing him.

'Yes... baby please...' she breathed, her breasts feeling incredibly heavy and tight, her centre wet and ready for him.

'Already?' he murmured into her ear, sucking on her lobe as he pushed his hips forwards, rubbing himself against her wet folds.

'Yes..' she panted. 'Want... want you..'

'Love you...' he breathed.

'Please... Derek... phone... phone sex not... just want you...'

'Okay...' he nodded, kissing her.

'Need you...'

'You're so fucking sexy when you beg.' he breathed, pushing hard into her.

'Oh!' she gasped.

'Yes... fuck yes...'

'Oh Derek... you feel so good...'

'Missed you.. so much...'

'You feel so hard Derek...'

'You feel so wet... so tight...'

'Tighter than usual?' she breathed, squeezing her muscles around him.

'Yes...' he nodded breathlessly.

'Hmmmm...' she purred. 'Harder, Derek.'

'Harder.'he breathed, pulling back to slam back into her.

'Oh! Derek!'

'Fuck baby...'

'You... missed you...' she breathed, holding him inside of her.

'You too..'

'Four weeks, Der...'

'I know... too long...' he kissed her as her arms snaked around him.

'Way too long.'

'Fuck it feels good to be inside you...'

'You feel so big inside of me...'

'Shit.' he suddenly tensed. 'Condom.'

'It's okay.' she nodded. 'I...I'm on the pill. Carry on.'

'You're sure?'

'Certain.' she kissed him. 'Don't you dare pull out of me.'

'Okay.' he nodded. 'As long as you're sure.'

'I am.' she nodded, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. 'Now fuck me harder.'

'Can do.' he said breathlessly, continuing to thrust.

'Fuck Derek!' she cried as he pushed harder and harder. 'Faster!'

'Oh god...' he groaned.

'Yes Derek yes! Harder!'

'Ohhhhh...'

'Fuck me harder!' she demanded as he pulled fully out of her before slamming back in, so forcefully she physically moved up the couch.

'Oh my god!' she cried. 'Fuck... fuck...'

'Oh Mer...'

'Fuck... baby...'

'Fuck...'

'Faster...' she panted as he began to thrust harder and faster into her, both of them panting. She reached a hand to her breast as Derek moved one of his hands from her thigh to her clit, beginning to massage her. 'Oh god, Derek! yes! Yes! Derek! Fuck... yes!'

'Oh!' he slammed into her.

'Fuck! Derek!' she cried, beginning to feel her whole body starting to shake.

'Come.' he demanded as he pushed into her. 'Come for me.'

'Oh! Coming! Coming Derek!'

'Come for me. That's it... come for me...' he panted.

'Oh!' she screamed, his name coming from her lips over and over again.

'Oh...' he groaned, feeling her spasm around him causing his own release. 'Fuck Mer! I'm coming...'

'Oh my God...' she panted as she felt him release into her. 'Fuck, Derek...'

'Baby...' he breathed, falling onto her chest as she wrapped her arms around him, their chests rising and falling.

'Derek...' she breathed as they both caught their breath.

'Oh my God.'

'You...' she panted, her fingers running through his sweaty curls. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' he kissed her shoulder.

'I love you.'

'I love you.'

'I love you.' she giggled, tightening her legs around his waist.

'I love you too.' he breathed, shifting to kiss her gently, moving her onto her side and wrapping his arms around her. 'I love you so much.' he feathered kisses along her neck and shoulder, his hands moving lazily along her body.

'I've missed you more than you know.' she whispered.

'I've missed you more.' he kissed just below her ear.

'Not possible.' she giggled, gasping as his hands moved to gently cup her breasts. 'Fuck, I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Promise me lots of sex this weekend?' she whispered.

'Lots of sex this weekend.'

'I love phone sex but... but this is... it's not the same.'

'Definitely not.' he murmured, squeezing her to him as he kissed her beneath the ear again.

'You inside me...'

'Being inside you...' he agreed.

'You're... you feel amazing.'

'So do you.'

'I love you so much.' she twisted in his arms to face him, giggling slightly as they came face to face. 'Hi.'

'Hi.' he grinned.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Hmmm..' she smiled happily, kissing him before snuggling into him. 'Love this.'

'Me too.' he breathed, kissing her head as he wrapped his arms around her.

She smiled as she felt him run his hand up and down her back as she lay her head on his chest. She was lay on her mother's couch naked, with her boyfriend who her mom had no idea about, cuddling after some well needed sex. And her boyfriend had surprised her by spending the whole weekend with her. Life in this moment felt absolutely perfect. She felt Derek place another kiss to the top of her head and she just felt so safe. She always felt safe when she was with him, but especially like this... it was just so... intimate. Sex was obviously physically the most intimate thing possible, but this... she couldnt think of anything more perfect. His arms were so strong and his breathing was soft, his heartbeat steady. There was nowhere else she would rather be.

She had tried to believe him when he told her they would be okay over summer. She really had tried. But there still had been a small, pessimistic part of her that doubted. But Derek was here. He hadn't forgotten her. He was here and he had surprised her and he had just fucked her really, really hard. And he was holding her and kissing her and whispering that he loved her just as he had before. They really were going to be okay and she felt so safe. So safe.

Derek was perfect and amazing and she couldnt actually believe how much she loved him. She loved him. And she never wanted this to end.

 _Thank you for reading! Please Review X_


	39. Chapter 40

_Hi guys, pls review because no one is and it's depressing. I had an exam today AND I'm giving you two updates... So reviews would be a nice reward. Ty X_

Derek smiled as his girlfriend led him around the mall, tugging on his hand. They had been shopping because Meredith needed some new sneakers and apparently was going to buy them anyway, and so while she was showing Derek around the city, they could go to the mall to get them. Obviously going to get some sneakers had turned into a full on shopping trip in which Derek had followed her around as she looked at a lot of things she didn't buy.

She was cute. There was no shadow of a doubt that his girlfriend was cute. She kept giggling and smiling and teasing him, and he was certain he'd never met a cuter person in his life.

The night efore they hadn't really done anything except have sex and watch television on her couch. They had ordered pizza and just sat together laughing and talking and touching and kissing. It was strange, because they could do absolutely nothing together and he could feel so content. They would lay in her bed together after sex and for a good half hour say hardly anything at all, but laying with each other was perfect.

Surprising her had definitely been the best thing he could have done. The smile hadn't left her face since he showed up at her door, and from the last few days' phone calls he'd received, he got the feeling it hadn't been there for a while. She was so pretty when she smiled and her eyes sparkled. They hadn't gotten much sleep the first night of his stay, and she had woken him with soft kisses to his neck and shoulders, then his jaw and cheeks before ending on his lips.

Today they had been to the space needle and now they were at the mall. It was five pm and they were going to head somewhere for an early dinner before heading back to her house where he assumed they were going to watch more tv and have more sex. Which sounded perfect.

'What are you fancying for dinner?' she asked, her hand still tucked in his as they waited in line at the shoe store.

'I don't mind. What do you want?'

'I don't know.' She shrugged. 'You pick.'

'You're never going to like what I pick.' He laughed. 'So you pick.'

'I will.' She pouted.

'Pick, Mer.' He laughed as they moved forward slightly.

'No. You pick. I always pick.'

'That's because you're the one that loves food. And you're the girlfriend.'

'The girlfriend always has to pick the food?'

'She does.' He nodded.

'Is that an actual thing?'

'Yes.'

'Seriously?'

'I don't know.' He shrugged. 'Seems logical. If I pick somewhere you don't like then you'll just make a face so it's just easier to let you pick.'

'I will not make a face!' she gasped.

'I'm not insulting you, Mer.' He laughed softly, leaning to kiss her. 'I'm just saying… you pick.'

'No, you pick.' She pouted against his lips.

'I don't even know what there is here!'

'Pick, Derek Christopher.'

'Full name.' he winced.

'Pick.'

'Fine. I pick whatever you're wanting, Meredith Elizabeth.'

'I'm gonna kill you dead.' She narrowed her eyes at him, yet all the while a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and her hand still in his, their fingers interlocked.

'Pick, Mer.' He laughed.

'No, you pick.' She groaned.

'Meredith. Pick.'

'Derek. No.'

'You are impossible today.' He laughed.

'Shut up. I want you to pick. You came here to surprise me, I don't want to dictate the food.'

'You're not dictating anything.' He laughed.

'Fine. Let's discuss it.'

'Okay,'

'Pizza?'

'We had pizza yesterday.' He pointed out.

'Okay, then no pizza.' She nodded. 'Do you want fancy?'

'Not really.' He shrugged.

'Okay. How about burger place?'

'We could go somewhere like that, but not somewhere that does only burgers.'

'Why what are you wanting?'

'I honestly don't really know.' He said, as they took another step forward in the line.

'Okay. We could go somewhere that's quite generic?'

'Sounds good.' He nodded.

'Okay. Theres a row of restaurants on the way from the mall to the parking lot down the street, you have to yell which one looks good.'

'Okay.' He said.

'This is my input, so that has to be yours.'

'Okay.' He laughed.

'Thank you.' She grinned, reaching on her tip toes to kiss him gently.

'Hmmm..' he smiled. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.' She grinned.

'What do you want to do tomorrow?'

'Whatever you want.' She shrugged. 'I'm not really that bothered.'

'What else is there to do here.'

'Hiking. I mean, I know you liked fishing with your dad and there's a place on the island that's really good for-'

'Island?' he frowned.

'Yeah.'

'What that you get like a boat to?'

'Yeah, a ferry boat.' She nodded.

'I have a thing for ferry boats.' He smirked.

'A thing for ferry boats?' she raised an eyebrow.

'Yes.' He replied. 'You mean to tell me I've been in Seattle for over twenty four hours and didn't know that it has ferry boats?'

'Sorry to be such a disappointment, but yes, I failed to inform you of that.'

'I want to ride the ferry boats.' He smiled. 'With you.'

'We can do that.' She nodded. 'To the island?'

'Definitely to the island.'

'We could take a picnic? Like we did at the park?'

'Definitely take a picnic.' He nodded.

'Perfect.' She breathed.

'Why is this line so damn long?' he sighed, looking around the two girls in front of them.

'I don't know.' She sighed. 'It's Saturday, are malls usually busier on Saturdays?'

'I don't know. You're a girl, you should know this.'

'I'm not that much of a shopper!' she giggled.

'Well today you could have fooled me!' he joked, squeezing her to him slightly.

'Shut up.' She pouted.

'You're not that bad.' He smiled.

'Thanks.' She rolled her eyes as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

'Meredith!'

'Frank,' she smiled as the man joined who must be his two daughters in front of them in the line, with a woman she was assuming was his wife. She had mousey blond hair similar to her own and was very sort and slim.

'How are you doing dear?' he asked.

'Good thank you.'

'And it's Derek, isn't it? If I'm not mistaken?'

'Yes.' Smiled Derek. 'Nice to see you again sir.' He said, extending his hand to Frank.

'You too. Marion, this is Meredith Grey, Dr. Grey's daughter.' Frank said, turning to his wife.

'Oh, hello dear.' Marion smiled.

'And this is her boyfriend, Derek.'

'I believe the two of you are at Dartmouth?'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith nodded.

'Such a wonderful school.'

'Yeah, we really like it,' Meredith nodded, squeezing Derek's hand.

'And this is trouble and more trouble.' Frank laughed, gesturing to his daughters. 'Molly, and Maddie.'

Molly was quite tall, but not as slight as her mother. She wasn't fat by any means, but her mother had a tiny frame, whereas Molly was built more like her dad. She had auburn-y brown hair and was wearing black jeans, like herself, along with a khaki green jumper and some grey converse. Maddie was obviously shorter, but petite like Marion, and Meredith when she was that age. Her hair was darker and she had hardly any make up on at all.

'Hi.' Meredith smiled awkwardly, as they all moved up a place in the line.

'Hi.' Molly smiled.

'Hi.' Maddie did the same.

'Molly, you and Meredith are the same age.' Frank smiled.

'Oh.' His daughter smiled, nodding. Obviously not knowing what else to say.

'I told you Molly's at college in California didn't I?'

'Oh, no.' Meredith smiled. 'You didn't say where. Do you like it there?' she asked Molly, attempting to be at least half conversational and not totally weird.

'Yeah, I love it.' Molly smiled.

'You're doing history, right?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Your sister's doing history in the fall, isn't she Der?' she turned to him, a pleading look in her eyes, obviously wanting him to take over the social situation.

'Yeah, she is. In Florida.' He smiled. 'Do you enjoy it?'

'I love it.' Molly breathed.

'That's good. I'll tell Imogen.'

'What are you guys doing?' Molly asked.

'Pre-med.' Nodded Derek.

'Both of you? That's cool.'

'Yeah.' Laughed Derek.

'What have you guys been up to today?' Marion asked.

'Oh. I took Derek to the space needle this morning.' Nodded Meredith.

'And then dragged me around the stores this afternoon.' He laughed.

'It's what boyfriends are for.' Marion laughed softly, as Molly was called to a cashier. The three other family members stepped out of the line to continue the conversation with them.

'I wish someone had told me that sooner.' Derek teased, squeezing Meredith's side.

'Well that's just rude.' She feigned hurt.

'You know I'm joking.' He laughed, kissing her quickly.

'Whatever.' She tried to say with a straight face.

'What are you doing this evening?' asked Frank.

'Oh, we were just going to get some dinner.' Said Meredith, before she too was called to a cashier.

'I'll wait here?' Derek said.

'Yeah.' She nodded, going to pay for her converse, as he stepped out of the line to join Frank, Marion and Maddie.

'Where were you thinking of going?' asked Marion.

'Oh, we hadn't decided yet.' Derek smiled. 'I'm not from around here, so it's pretty much down to Mer.'

'Where are you from?' Marion smiled.

'New York.'

'Wow. Isnt that a six hour flight?'

'It is indeed.' Derek winced.

'How long are you here for?'

'Only the weekend.' Derek sighed. 'I have a job and could only get cover for two days.'

'That's a shame.' Frank's wife sighed.

'How did Dr. Grey take the news?' Frank laughed softly. 'Did you get an icy reception?'

'Oh, she's out of town actually.' Derek said.

'Oh.' Frank nodded, knowingly. 'I see.'

'I think she's at a conference.'

'So you haven't met her just yet?' he laughed.

'By the sounds of things, fortunately not.' Derek laughed.

'Obviously I understand If the two of you want to be alone, but we're going for dinner after Molly's paid for these shoes.' Frank continued. 'You're both more than welcome to join us.'

'Oh, Frank, they wont want to be doing that.' Said Marion. 'Ignore him, Derek.'

'Oh, no. It's a lovely gesture, thank you.' He smiled. 'I'll see what Mer wants to do, I don't know If she has anything planned.' He said, as Molly rejoined them.

'All paid for sweetheart?' Frank asked.

'Yeah.' Molly nodded.

'When can I get some new shoes?' Maddie pouted.

'When the soles wear through on yours.' Molly cut in, reminding him of his own sisters.

'We'll have a look when we go to the mall with Aunt Brenda next week, sweetheart.' Marion smiled.

'Okay.' Maddie smiled as Meredith walked up behind them, the bag holding her new converse in her hands.

'Hey,' she smiled, immediately joining Derek's side.

'Hey.' he smiled, his hand resting on her back gently.

'Derek was just telling us he's here for the weekend,' smiled Frank.

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith smiled back.

'The two of you are more than welcome to join us for dinner if you wish.'

'Oh.' Meredith smiled, turning to Derek.

'I wasn't sure what we had planned.' he said gently, rubbing her back softly.

'We don't want to intrude or anything.' Meredith shook her head. 'But thank you for asking us.'

'Don't be silly.' smiled Marion. 'We know you probably want him to yourself while he's here.' she laughed.

'Oh.' Meredith blushed. 'It was really nice of you to ask us. Maybe next time?' she looked at Frank, then Derek hopefully.

'Yeah.' he nodded. 'That would be really nice.'

'You'll have to let us know when you're back in town, Derek.' Frank smiled.

'For sure.' replied Derek.

'Yeah, this is just a fly in visit.' Meredith said nervously.

'How long is your mother away for?' asked Marion.

'Just the weekend, she gets back on Monday.' Meredith nodded.

'Where has she gone?' asked Frank.

'San Diego, for a conference.'

'Ah, I see.' Frank nodded. 'Well, if we don't see you before summer ends, I'll see you when it's time to go back.' He smiled.

'Yes.' smiled Meredith.

'We best be going and get these two food before they get grumpy.'

'Hey!' said Maddie.

'I know how you feel Frank,' laughed Derek. 'These girls take a lot of feeding.'

'Shut up!' Meredith gasped, hitting him lightly.

'It is quite the challenge.' Frank chuckled.

'Enjoy your evening,' said Derek, pulling Meredith closer to him. 'We'll definitely join you next time.'

'It's been lovely meeting you.' Said Marion.

'You too.' smiled Meredith. 'Bye.'

'Bye sweetheart.' smiled Frank.

'Bye.' Meredith smiled to the rest of Franks family.

'Bye.' smiled Derek before they parted ways with the family. 'They were really nice.'

'They were.' Meredith agreed, reaching for his hand. 'I didn't expect his kids to look like that.'

'No?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'I don't really know what I thought they'd look like.' she giggled.

'But not that?' he laughed.

'Exactly.' she grinned.

'It was nice of them to invite us to dinner.' he squeezed her hand.

'Yeah, it was.' she nodded. 'I didn't really know how to say no.'

'You did a good job.' he laughed.

'Do you think I was rude?' she said anxiously, slowing down her step a little bit.

'No,' he smiled. 'I mean, it's understandable you want me all to yourself.' he smirked, bumping her hip.

'Shut up.' she laughed, bumping his back and leaning into him as they walked out. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, before letting Frank's words about Ellis return to his mind. He knew Meredith hadn't told her mom about them, and he was trying to be cool with it. Meredith had said her mom wouldn't accept them or whatever, so maybe it was best she hadnt told her about them. But he knew if his mom wouldn't accept Meredith, he wouldn't care. They'd only been together for two months, and one of those they'd spent apart, but he considered himself committed to Meredith, and very much her boyfriend. He loved her and he knew she loved him, which made him wonder what it would take for her to eventually tell her mom. Maybe she never would.

He glanced at her before kissing her quickly. She loved him. He knew she loved him. But he still didn't really like the situation. _Frosty reception._ What did she think he was going to do to her? He loved her and surely her mom should be happy about that. Meredith had slept around a lot before they'd gotten together and if her mom knew about that, her mom should be happier she had a boyfriend than doing that. But he didnt even know if Ellis knew what went on in Meredith's life at all, apart from her grades.

'This way,' she giggled, pulling on his hand to take him out of the mall and down the street of restaurants.

'Love you.' he whispered, kissing her softly.

'Love you too.' she giggled, kissing him back before he put his arm around her shoulder and followed her to find somewhere to eat.

 _Thank you for reading please review! X_


	40. Chapter 41

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and thank you so much for the reviews! Mer and Der aren't going to be together for the next couple of chapters (sad I know), but I kind of like seeing them with their friends/ family. But summer is nearly over so we ain't got long... and I hate to say it but second year is where the drama starts..._

Meredith looked around the coffee shop, her bag over her shoulder, glancing round the tables until she spotted her friend sat in the corner. It was 10am and she'd arranged to meet Sadie after taking Derek to the airport. His flight had been at seven thirty, and she'd stayed with him until the latest check in at seven. Then she'd gotten some breakfast at an airport café before driving back to get changed and wash her face after the crying on the way home she would never admit to. Before driving to the coffee shop ten minutes away to meet Sadie, so that hopefully, she wouldn't be home when Ellis got back.

'Hey.' She smiled, sitting opposite her blonde friend.

'Hello stranger.' Her friend replied.

'Oh, thanks.' Meredith grinned at the frozen caramel coffee her friend had gotten her.

'No problem.' Said Sadie.

'How much was it?'

'Oh don't worry about it.' Sadie waved her hand. 'You can get the next one or a cake or whatever.'

'Okay. Thanks.'

'No problem. So, has lover boy gone home then?'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith sighed. 'I dropped him at the airport before.'

'What time did he fly?'

'Took off at seven thirty.'

'Ouch. Early.'

'I know.' Meredith groaned.

'And it takes six hours?' Sadie winced.

'Yup.' Said Meredith taking a sip of her coffee.

'That is longgggg.'

'I know.' Meredith sighed.

'So when do I get to meet him?'

'What?' Meredith coughed on her drink.

'Derek. When do I get to meet him?'

'Oh…. I don't know…'

'Come on Mer, I have to make sure he's as amazing you make out he is if he's sleeping with my best friend.'

'I don't know when he's next going to be in Seattle.' Meredith shrugged. 'Probably not for a while, so I'm not really sure.'

'Well that sucks.' Sadie pouted.

'I know.'

'I still can't believe he surprised you like that.' Her friend grinned.

'I know.' Meredith breathed, not being able to help the smile that tugged at her lips.

'How did he even find out where you lived?'

'Apparently I told him my street name ages ago- I'm not sure why…' she scrunched her nose slightly in thought before continuing. 'And so he got the train from the airport and then a taxi to my street and knocked on a door asking which number Dr. Grey lived at and then came to mine.'

'Wow.' Sadie smiled. 'And you really had no idea?'

'Not a clue.' She shook her head.

'That is so sweet.'

'He is sweet.' Meredith nodded.

'I really want to meet him.' Sadie pouted. 'Have you told him about me? Does he even know I exist?'

'Of course I've told him about you.' Meredith laughed.

'What did he say?'

'What do you expect him to say?' she laughed.

'Did he say anything about me? Ask anything?'

'Just generic questions but nothing specific.' She shrugged. 'He is my boyfriend not yours.' She laughed.

'I know.' Sadie laughed.

'He normally asks if I've seen or spoke to you when he calls.'

'I feel like I probably know a lot more about him than he knows about me.'

'Probably.' Meredith giggled.

'Then again that is only because you don't shut up about him.'

'Shut up.' Meredith laughed, blushing.

'I doubt you're the same about me when we're apart.'

'Not quite.' Meredith smirked.

'So you're not going to see him until you go back to Dartmouth?'

'No.' Meredith sighed. 'I mean, my lease starts before his, so I was going to ask him if he wanted to come up early and stay with me. Or at least for a few days or whatever before he brings all his stuff.'

'That would be good.' Sadie nodded.

'I just don't know when he stops working for his uncle.'

'Surely if it's his uncle he'd let him go a bit early.'

'True.'

'Does his uncle pay him well?'

'Relatively.' Meredith pulled a face. 'I think he's on just above the average for over twenty one's but nothing particularly amazing.'

'Better than nothing I guess.'

'Exactly.' She nodded. 'Stanley couldn't afford to take both him and his brother on, so they decided to share the job, working alternate days.'

'That's cute.'

'I know.'

'How old is his brother then?'

'The same age. He's not really his brother,' Meredith explained, taking another drink. 'His mom took Mark in when they were kids, so they're practically family.'

'I see.' Sadie nodded. 'And what are his sisters called again?' she asked.

'Olivia, Imogen, Claire and Lara.'

'Oh yeah. And we like Liv.'

'We like them all.' Meredith laughed. 'But yeah, Liv. And Imogen- they're my favourites.'

'Does Derek have a favourite?'

'Imogen, and then Liv.'

'Are they older or younger?'

'They're younger. The other two are older.'

'And he's twenty one?'

'Uh-huh.'

'Older man. That's hot.'

'Only two years.' Meredith laughed. 'Well, almost three, it's his birthday soon.'

'It is?'

'Yeah. It's actually before we go back.' She realised. 'Shit what do I do about his birthday?'

'What did he do for your birthday?'

'Well we weren't together then… but he got me a cake and candles and stuff. And he bought me perfume.'

'Wait he bought you all this for your birthday in April and you guys only got it together in June?'

'Yeah…'

'Girl how did you not realise he was into you?! Perfume!'

'I don't know.' Meredith laughed.

'How did he even know what perfume you wear?'

'He saw the bottle on my bed side table.'

'Okay, when are the two of you getting married.'

'Shut up.' Meredith laughed.

'He is definitely a keeper.'

'He is.' Meredith giggled. 'So what do I do for him?'

'I guess you can either wait until you go back or send him something over.'

'I don't even know what to get him.' She sighed.

'What does he like.'

'I don't know.' Meredith shrugged. 'Well, I do know. But I don't know what to get him. I don't know what he would want.'

'Hmmm. Maybe ask his sisters what they normally get him? Say you just want to make sure you don't get the same thing but really you're fishing for ideas.'

'That is an excellent idea.'

'I'm full of them.' Sadie smirked. 'Has your mom landed yet?'

'I don't know.' Meredith sighed. 'She wasn't at the house when I got back. But I have no clue when she gets home.'

'The return of the Ice Queen.' Sadie mocked.

'You can say that again.'

'Did Derek go home before she got back on purpose or was it just a work thing?'

'No, he went back before she came home. But I don't think he could have gotten any more time of work anyway.'

'So she doesn't know he's been?'

'She doesn't even know he exists.' Meredith shrugged.

'Seriously?'

'Sadie? Are you joking? You think my mom would be happy with the idea of me having a boyfriend?'

'Well, no.' Sadie tilted her head. 'But you're going out less since you got with him, and you're only sleeping with one person.' She shrugged. 'Surely she'd rather that than you going out every night and bringing a different boy home.'

'Sadie!'

'What? It's what you did, Mer. It's what I sill do- no judgement.'

'My mom doesn't know that.'

'So you think she bought the excuse that you stayed at my house after every single party.'

'urugh.' She sighed.

'You really thought she was that naïve?' Sadie laughed.

'I don't know. She never said anything.'

'She totally knows.' Sadie nodded.

'Great. My mom thinks I'm a slag.' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'You think your mom's a bitch so I guess you're even.'

'True.' Meredith laughed.

'So you're not telling her about Derek.'

'No.'

'Never?'

'I don't know.' Meredith shrugged.

'I just don't get it.' Sadie sighed. 'If you're in love with him and see yourself being with him for a while, your mom's going to find out sooner or later. Wouldn't you rather you told her than her find out herself?'

'She'd not going to find out.' Meredith frowned.

'Your mom has ways, Mer.' Sadie laughed.

'She won't find out.' Meredith repeated.

'What does that mean for you and Derek then?' Sadie frowned.

'What do you mean?' said Meredith, confused.

'Well I thought this was loves young dream and all that?'

'It is.' Meredith nodded. 'Not that I've ever said that about us. But I love him.'

'So you love him but you're not going to tell your mom about him?'

'Why would I? She's not the nicest of people.'

'I just… I don't know. I mean, if Derek was just a fling, or if you'd only been on a few dates or whatever…. Or even if you'd been together as long as you have and aren't head over heels in love with him which you quite clearly are- I'd get it. I'd get not telling her. But if you're in love with him and it's serious… not getting married kind of serious, obviously, but I take it you don't plan on breaking up with him in the foreseeable future?'

'No, God no.' Meredith shook her head.

'Then I would tell her.' Sadie shrugged. 'Or at least have an idea of when you are going to tell her. Never wanting to tell her… that sends him the message that you're not really that into it.'

'Sadie… you know what my mom's like. This isn't about me not wanting to be with Derek. I am with him, I love him.'

'Yeah, I know that.' Sadie rolled her eyes. 'But if he said to you, hey Mer I love you but I'm never telling my family about you because they wouldn't accept you- what would you think?'

'I… I don't know…' She stuttered.

'I'd be pissed.' Sadie shrugged, taking a sip of her own coffee.

'You would?' Meredith said quietly.

'Hell yeah. I mean, if you're never going to tell you mom that tells him that A: you're ashamed of him-'

'I'm not ashamed of him.' Meredith said firmly.

'I know,' Sadie sighed. 'B: you wouldn't stick up for him, or your relationship, and C: it's never going to go anywhere.'

'You say that like we're getting married.' Meredith said defensively.

'No.' Sadie shook her head. 'But what happens in the holidays, or next summer?'

'I… I don't know…'

'Just try and see it from his side.'

'I told him it wasn't because I didn't love him or anything. I told him my mom was… like my mom…'

'I would tell her. Or at least think about it.'

'Hmmmm…'

'So what date is his birthday?'

'August 10th.'

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	41. Chapter 42

_Hi guys! Okay so... I love writing this version Derek's family. I hope you love them too._

Derek woke to the shrill ringing of his cell. He hit the decline call button absently before burying his head back under his pillow. It was his birthday for God's sake, who was ringing him at this time? He'd been given the day off by his Uncle Stan and the whole family were coming round for dinner tonight. But today, he wanted to sleep in and then maybe have a nice breakfast with his sisters before going fishing with Mark with a few cans of beer.

His cell rang again. He checked the time on his clock before answering it; 8am. Who the fuck was ringing him at 8am on his birthd-

'Mer?' he asked, confused.

'Happy Birthday sleepyhead!' his girlfriend giggled down the phone.

'Hey,' he smiled, rubbing his eye an settling back against his pillows.

'Hey,'

'I wasn't quite expecting this early morning wake up call.' He laughed.

'I wanted to be the first person to say happy birthday to you.' She explained.

'Well, you definitely are.'

'Did I wake you up?' she laughed.

'Yes,' he laughed. 'Fucking hell what time is it there, Mer?' realising it was even earlier in Seattle than New York.

'Five.' She sighed.

'What are you doing awake?'

'I set my alarm doofus,' she laughed. 'I wasn't just awake.'

'Oh.' He smiled.

'So, happy birthday. I love you.'

'I love you too.' He breathed.

'What are you doing today?'

'Well, I think Ma's going to cook a birthday breakfast. And then me and Mark are going fishing.'

'Just the two of you?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'We always used to go with dad on our birthdays, so the two of us have gone ever since.'

'That's nice.' She whispered.

'Yeah' he nodded. 'Then we're having a family dinner tonight, I think my Uncle Stanley and Aunt Brenda are coming with their families too.'

'Wow that's a lot.'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'Since us kids started going to college, ma invites the family round for my birthday. I think it's because it's the only one everyone can be there for with it being summer. So she takes advantage and invites all her siblings too.' He laughed.

'It should be fun though.'

'True.' He nodded.

'So your Uncle Stanley is married to your Aunt Elaine and they have Emma and….'

'Georgia.' He supplied, smiling at how cute she was trying to remember the names of all his family.

'Georgia.' She repeated.

'And then Aunt Brenda and Uncle Jim with James and Lottie.'

'Your family is so big.'

'It is.' He agreed.

'At least it means a lot of presents.' She giggled.

'That, it does.' He smiled.

'Do you know what people are getting you?'

'No.' he shook his head. 'I have no idea what my mom's gotten me but she's been acting like it's going to be the present to end all presents and smirking every time it's brought up.'

'And you have no idea?'

'None.' He shook his head.

'There isn't something you've hinted you want?'

'Not recently.' He shook his head.

'You'll have to tell me.'

'Obviously.'

'Do you know what your sisters have gotten you?'

'Nope.'

'Are they good at buying you presents?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'They normally collaborate. Imogen and Liv then Claire and La.'

'That's a good idea.' She nodded.

'Last year they all joined together with my mom and Mark and got me my cell.'

'For your twenty first?'

'Exactly.' He sighed. 'What are you doing today? After going back to sleep.'

'My mom's at the hospital all day, she was there last night too. So I'm going over to Sadie's and we're just gonna hang out.'

'That sounds good.'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'So what time will your mom be doing breakfast for?'

'Not sure. I told her I wouldn't be up until later.'

'Oh... Sorry...' she said sheepishly.

'No, no. Mer, no, God I'm glad you called. It's fine.' he said quickly.

'Oh, good.' she giggled.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'I wish you could be here.'

'Me too.' she sighed.

'But I know, your mom, I know.' he sighed.

'About that...' she said. 'I think... before we go back to school... I'm going to tell her.'

'You are?' he asked, shocked.

'Yeah.' she said. 'I mean... she wont be happy. I know she wont be happy. But she can't exactly stop me seeing you from all the way across the country. And at least then I won't have to hide it.'

'Very true.' he nodded.

'I mean... if we're going to be together she's going to find out at some point, right?'

'If you keep me around for long enough.' he laughed.

'I don't plan on getting rid of you any time soon.' she giggled.

'Well that is comforting to know.' he smirked.

'Well, I might change my mind.' she teased.

'That's just cruel. It's my birthday.'

'Okay, fine.' she giggled. 'I have no plans to get rid of you any time soon. Or ever, for that matter.'

'That's better.' He smiled.

'So what time will your dinner be done tonight?'

'I'm not sure, why?'

'I was thinking I could call again?' she trailed off.

'Oh...' he smirked. 'I'm not sure but I could call you? When will you be home from Sadie's?'

'I should be home after dinner.'

'I'll call when everyone's gone.' He nodded.

'Perfect.'

'I miss you.' he sighed.

'I know. I miss you too. But it's not long now, two weeks.'

'Two weeks.' he breathed.

'I know school starts on the twenty sixth, and I know your dorm lease starts on the twenty fifth, but my lease starts on the twentieth and I was wondering when you finish working for your Uncle?'

'Oh, I'm not sure... I'll ask him tonight when he comes for dinner.'

'I know you probably can't bring all your stuff on the twentieth because there will be nowhere to put it... but I was wondering if we could sort something out...' she trailed off and he could tell she was biting her lip anxiously.

'Maybe I could fly out early and Mark could bring my stuff with him when he drives up.'

'That could work.'

'I'll talk to him and mom about it at dinner and let you know tonight.'

'Good.'

'I'll try and work it out though.'

'Don't you think it's crazy how we could be back together in ten days?'

'Very crazy. Summer's almost over.'

'I feel like I thought it was going to be a lot worse,' she said. 'I mean, don't get me wrong, I've missed you. I've really, really, missed you. But it's not been the end of us or anything. And worst case scenario I'll be seeing you again in two weeks.'

'I told you we'd be fine.' he smiled.

'You did.' she agreed. 'Summer's more than half done.'

'It is.'

'You coming here definitely made thing easier.'

'Good.' he smiled.

'I can't wait to see you.'

'Me neither.'

'I love you.' she said, stifling a yawn.

'I love you too.' he smiled, surprised at his girlfriend's optimism during their conversation. 'Go to sleep, Mer.'

'Kay.' she sighed.

'It's still early for you.' he laughed. 'I'll call you later.' he smiled.

'Kay. Text me before you do.'

'I will.' he nodded. 'Go to sleep, I love you.'

'I love you too. Happy birthday.'

'Thank you.'

'Have the best day.'

'I will.'

'Love you, bye.'

'Bye.'

He sighed and hung up his cell, getting out of bed, suddenly feeling more awake.

Downstairs he found Liv and Claire sat at the breakfast table with his mom and Mark, eating pancakes.

'Here he is, birthday boy.' smirked Mark.

'Good morning.' Derek smiled, sitting opposite his sisters at the table.

'Happy birthday!' Liv squealed, jumping up and running round to hug him.

'Thanks.' he laughed, squeezing her tightly.

'You're welcome.' she said, kissing his cheek.

'Happy birthday, Der.' smiled Claire as Liv sat herself next to him.

'Thanks.' he smiled.

'Good morning dear,' said Alison, standing up and walking over to him. 'Happy birthday son, I love you.'

'Thanks ma.' he smiled, kissing her cheek. 'I love you too.'

'What would you like for breakfast?'

'Blueberry pancakes?' he smiled.

'Perfect.' smiled Alison, kissing his forehead. 'I'll go and make them.'

'Thank you.' he smiled, before turning back to his sisters.

'I thought you were sleeping in?' frowned Mark. 'I wasn't anticipating you for at least another hour.'

'I was woken,' Derek laughed. 'Mer called.'

'Oh, I see.' Mark nodded. 'Juliet on the phone.'

'Shut up.' Derek laughed.

'Is she good?' Asked Liv, taking a sip of her orange juice.

'Yeah.' he nodded. 'Im and La still in bed?'

'Yep.' Nodded Liv.

'What time you want to go fishing bro?' asked Mark.

'After breakfast and presents?'

'Sounds good.' He nodded. 'I'll load the car while you're getting dressed.'

'Do you want your presents this morning sweetheart or tonight when Uncle Stan and Aunt Brenda come round?'

'This morning.'

'Okay, well we'll have to wait for your sisters to get up. If they aren't awake after you've eaten I'll go and get them.'

'Okay.' he smiled.

'How does it feel, Der? Twenty two.' said Claire.

'Not much different to be honest.' he shrugged.

'I never get that,' said Liv around her pancake.

'What?' said Derek.

'When people ask you if you feel different on your birthday.' she scrunched her nose.

'Me neither.' he shrugged.

'It's just something you say.' shrugged Claire.

'What time's dinner tonight mom?' Asked Derek.

'I told everybody six.'

'Perfect.' he smiled.

'What would you like on your pancakes?'

'Have we got any ice cream?'

'Ice cream?! What the hell who are you?' Laughed Liv.

'Mer's unhealthy habits have rubbed off on me.' He laughed.

'We indeed have ice cream.' Alison smiled. 'Vanilla?'

'Perfect.' he smiled.

'If she gets Derek to eat ice cream she's a miracle worker,' laughed Claire. 'We could use her to our advantage.'

'There you go.' said Alison placing it on front of him.

'Thanks, Ma.' he smiled, taking a for off her.

'You're welcome, sweetheart. We're having your favourite chicken stew and dumplings for dinner.'

'Great.' he smiled, taking a bite of his pancakes. 'Oh, these are so good ma.'

'Good.' Alison smiled as Imogen came through the door way and slumped on to a chair, yawning.

'Hey,' she said sleepily.

'Hey.' said Derek.

'Happy birthday.' She smiled, leaning over the table to kiss his cheek.

'Why thank you.'

'I thought you werent getting up until later?' she frowned.

'Meredith woke him up.' Olivia explained.

'Oh.'

'Did you sleep well, dear?' asked Alison, handing her a glass of orange juice.

'Yes, thanks.' she smiled.

'Would you like some waffles? Or pancakes?'

'Oooo, waffles please. With ice cream.'

'Coming up sweetheart.'

'Look over there, Im.' said Claire. 'DerBear is actually eating pancakes with ice cream.'

'What the fuck?' Imogen laughed. 'You? Ice cream for breakfast?!'

'Meredith's doing.' smirked Liv.

'Damn, we got to keep her around.'

'Why do I get the feeling you like my girlfriend more than me?' laughed Derek.

'Because we do.' cut in Mark.

'Don't listen to Mark.' Olivia giggled. 'We love you.'

'Thanks.' he smiled.

'Only because it's your birthday,' Imogen smirked.

'Gee thanks.'

'Is La not up yet?'

'Nope.' Derek shook his head.

'I'll go and wake her so we can do presents.'

'There's no rush.' Derek shook his head.

'There is.' Imogen nodded. 'I think Ma will combust if she doesn't give it you soon.'

'Really?' he laughed.

'She may have a poker face but she's dying for you to see it.' teased Claire.

'I'm very intrigued.' Said Derek as his youngest sister went to wake his oldest.

'You're gonna like it.' Imogen grinned.

'Good.' he smiled.

'You two going fishing today?' she turned to Mark.

'Yup. Got the beers in for our Shep.'

'When are you going to teach us how to fish?' Liv pouted.

'You? Never blondie.' Mark laughed.

'Derek?' she turned to her brother.

'No way.' he laughed.

'Why not?'

'You'd hate it!'

'No we wouldnt.'

'Yes you would.' laughed Mark harshly. 'Imogen... eh... Imogen could maybe hack it once, but you two- never.'

'Well that's insulting.' said Claire indignantly.

'You are the biggest complainer in this whole family.' Said Mark. 'And Liv would never cope. She'd be bored, and cold.'

'It's warm outside today!' Olivia protested.

'Still no.' Derek shook his head. 'Especially not my birthday.'

'Why not?' Claire frowned.

'I am not spending my birthday teaching you two how to fish when you don't really care.'

'What if we do? Dad loved to fish.'

'Claire the fact you're twenty four years old and only just showing an interest is evidence enough that you have no real desire to fish.'

'Alright, Derek.' she rolled her eyes.

'Hey, don't be mean to me. It's my birthday.' he pouted, as his mom came to place down Imogen's waffles and Imogen and Lara came through the doorway, both still in their pyjamas.

'Happy birthday little bro.' Lara grinned, coming up and hugging him from behind him and kissing his cheek.

'Thanks La.' he smiled.

'I believe I was dragged out of bed so you could open your presents.'

'I told them to let you sleep!' he laughed.

'I thought you weren't getting up until later, anyway?'

'Meredith woke him up.' said Liv, smiling.

'How many times are we going to have this conversation today?' Derek laughed.

'Lara would you like any breakfast dear?' Asked Alison

'I'll wait until DerBear's opened his presents.' she smiled.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, thanks.' She nodded, sitting on the other side of Derek to Olivia.

'Shall I go get ours, Im?' Olivia grinned.

'Yeah.' she nodded.

'I've got ours on the floor.' Claire nodded to Lara.

'Thanks.' she smiled, as Olivia came racing back in the room with a box wrapped in blue wrapping paper.

'Why thanks, you guys.' he smiled, taking it off them alongside the two cards, kissing Imogen's cheek.

'You're welcome.' she grinned as he placed it in front of him.

'And that's from us.' Said Claire, putting their own present next to their sisters'.

'Thanks.' he grinned.

'Here's mine you dork.' said Mark, placing a bottle bag in front of him.

'Thanks, bro.'

'Hmmm... you're welcome, I suppose.' Mark smirked.

'I'll give you mine last.' Alison smiled.

'Okay.' Smiled Derek, opening his card from Liv, Imogen and then Lara and Claire's joint one. 'Thanks guys.'

'You're welcome.' They all smiled, before Lara jumped up.

'Crap! I've got Jake's present, one second.'

'Oh, okay.' he smiled, when she came back with a bottle bag.

'Man!' groaned Mark. 'That son of a bitch.'

'What?' frowned Lara.

'He asked me what I got Derek and he's gone and gotten him the same thing.'

'How do you know?' frowned Liv.

'Well take a look.' he rolled his eyes at the bottle bags, as Derek pulled out a bottle of Scotch.

'Benrinne's fifteen year old, my favourite.' he grinned. 'Tell Jake thanks I really appreciate it.'

'No problem.' Lara smiled, as Derek pulled out a larger bottle from Mark's bottle bag.

'Thanks man.' he smiled.

'You're welcome.' Mark sighed.

'Now ours!' grinned Claire.

'Yours?' he raised his eyebrows before glancing at his younger sisters.

'Yeah.' nodded Imogen. 'Do theirs next.'

'Okay.' he laughed, taring the wrapping paper to reveal a black leather jacket. He'd wanted a new one that actually fitted him properly for years now, but had the money to afford one he actually liked. This one was nice, it was stylish and not too rough looking for him. He grinned and stood to hug his sisters. 'Thanks guys, I love it. You.. you really didn't have to.'

'I'm glad you like it.' Lara grinned. 'We were torn between two for ages.'

'I love it.' he smiled. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

'Oh, Derek, love,'

'Yeah?' he turned to his mom as he sat back down.

'You have some cards from your Aunt Sandra and your grandma Margret.'

'Oh.' he opened them after she passed them to him.

'Dollaaaaaaa!' grinned Imogen as fifty dollars slipped out of the card from his grandmother.

'She rang last night and I told her we would try and visit soon.'

'Definitely.' he nodded. 'I'll call her after dinner tonight.'

'I think she'd like that.' Alison smiled. 'I think she'd like to meet Meredith, too.'

'Definitely.' He noises. 'Wow.' he grinned, as forty dollars fell out of the other card. 'Thank you Aunt Sandra and Uncle Jeremy.'

'That is very kind of them.' Alison nodded.

'I'll call them later too.' he nodded.

'They never give us that much.' pouted Imogen.

'That's because Derek's Aunt Sandra's favourite.' Claire rolled her eyes. 'The carbon copy of dad that he is.'

'True.' Imogen sighed. 'Now, open ours!' she thrust it into his hands.

'Okay.' he nodded, taking it off her. He ripped the wrapping paper off the box and then took its lid off. All his sisters were sat grinning with anticipation as he looked inside. 'W...what?' he breathed, looking at what was before him.

'Do you like it?' Said Imogen excitedly.

'Well I like it,' Derek laughed happily, pulling the navy blue head helmet out of the box. 'But I don't understand when I'm going to use it...'

'Maybe when you're riding your new motor cycle.' Said Alison casually.

'What?' Derek breathed, his head whipping round to his mother.

'Happy birthday sweetheart.' His mom grinned.

'W...wha... I dont understand... a motor cycle?'

'Go look on the driveway,' Alison smiled, as Derek stood up and walked to the window, grinning as he saw the motor cycle there, next to Mark's car. 'Mom!' he laughed, running back towards her and pulling her into a tight hug. 'Thank you... I... I... a motor Cycle?!'

'You've wanted one since you were twelve years old,' she laughed softly. 'I'm just sorry it took me so long to get you one.'

'Don't be stupid, ma.' he grinned. 'I love it... thank you. Thank you so much.' he kissed her cheek.

'You're welcome, dear.' she smiled.

'I didn't even expect it.'

'I know you didn't.' his mom smiled, cupping his cheek.

'Thank you.' he smiled.

'It's only fair. Your father and I gave Mark the remaining money he needed for his car, but we could never afford one for you. But now, I can.' she smiled.

'Are you sure?' he said quietly.

'Derek, I know what I can and can't afford.' she laughed.

'Thank you, Ma. Really.'

'You're very welcome sweetheart.'

'We even got you the leather jacket to go with it.' Lara laughed.

'Thanks.' he grinned.

'Can you take us for a ride around before you go fishing?' Liv grinned.

'Oh,' he laughed.

'Let him have a go himself first.' laughed Alison. 'I'm sure he'll take you soon enough.'

'Go on, go ride it round the block so we can go fishing.' groaned Mark.

'Okay,' Derek laughed, not being able to deny his excitement, before picking his helmet up and heading outside.

'Wait!' shouted Liv, 'You're forgetting his other present!'

'Oh shit...' said Imogen. 'Derek!'

'What?' he turned around, fixing his helmet on his head. 'You have one last one.'

'I do?'

'Yeah.' Said Imogen as he walked back into the kitchen. 'Sit.'

'Okay.' he laughed as his sister pulled out a chair for him. 'Sitting.'

'Good.' she grinned, before placing a card and a box in front of him.

'Who's this from?' he glanced up at all his sisters who were sat opposite him, staring.

'Open it and find out.' grinned Liv.

'Okay...' he laughed nervously, holding the card in his hands.

'Open it!'

'He's opening it Liv, calm down.' Claire rolled her eyes.

Derek opened the blank envelope and the nice card inside to see his girlfriend's instantly recognizable handwriting. He grinned as he read her message: _To Derek, Happy Birthday. I hope you have a really great day. And I can't wait to see you soon. I love you, Love Mer xxxx_

'She sent this?' he smiled up at his family.

'Yeah.' Liv nodded.

'But it has no address on it..' he frowned.

'She sent it to me, dumbass. And then I took it out of the packaging.'

'I see.' he laughed, reading for the box in front of him. 'Do you know what it is?'

'Yeah.' replied Imogen. 'She rang Liv about it.'

'She did?' he smiled, still not opening the box in his hands.

'Yeah.' Liv nodded. 'Now open it.'

'Okay,' he laughed, taking the paper off the box before gently opening the lid to reveal a watch. A beautiful watch. It had a black leather strap and a gold frame on the face, very dark green roman numerals on the face, and gold hands. _Reed & Jennings_, read the box, which had a clover next to it.

'Do you like it?' grinned Imogen.

'Yeah,' he breathed, turning the watch over in his hands. 'I... I love it.'

'It's beautiful, Derek.' his mother smiled.

'Yeah it is.' he nodded, noticing an inscription on the back. _One Day._ One day. The clover. The green. It was an Irish watch. She had gotten him an Irish watch with _One Day_ engraved on it. One day they were going to travel together. Around Europe and to Ireland, together. He grinned at he ran his finger over the letters before putting the watch on his wrist.

'Come on, show us then.' Said Lara. 'Liv's the only one to have properly seen it.'

'Oh,' he breathed, extending his arm.

'Nice.' His eldest sister nodded.

'Mustn't have been cheap.' Commented Claire, in awe.

'I... Mark, I need to call her before I take the bike out.'

'Are we ever going to make it fishing?' he rolled his eyes.

 _'_ I'm up early!' he laughed. 'We werent supposed to be going for another hour and a half anyway!'

'Whatever, go call her.'

'Thanks.' he grinned. 'She's probably gone back to sleep.'

'Take the bike out then call her.' Said Imogen.

'Yeah,' he nodded. 'Thanks everybody.' he smiled before finally going to ride his new motorcycle.

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	42. Chapter 43

_A review would be appreciated X_

Meredith wandered into the kitchen, clutching her sleeves nervously as her mom was sat reading a medical journal at the table. She'd packed all her stuff back up, ready to go back to Dartmouth, and Frank was coming to pick he up at two. Derek's uncle had let him finish work a week early, and he was coming to stay with her until the lease for his dorm started. Cristina wasn't coming back until the twenty-fifth because she'd been to some Harvard summer school or… something. So She'd asked her if Derek could put his stuff in her room until then, and then she would help him move into his dorm. It meant that Alison could bring him up, and Mark wouldn't have to fit two people's stuff in his car. Well, apart from Derek's motor cycle.

He had rang her on the evening of his birthday to tell her what he had gotten for his birthday, and he had thanked her repetitively for his watch. She had been worried he wouldn't like it or it would be too… cheesy or whatever. But Derek liked cheesy and even though it was cheesy for her she loved it. She totally loved it and she was happy he did too. When she had rang Olivia to ask her if she thought he would like it, his sister had squealed down the phone telling her it was perfect and romantic.

His sister, however, had not told her that Derek would be getting a motor cycle off his mom. She had told her about the leather jacket, and his favourite scotch. But she had not told her that her boyfriend would be getting a motor cycle. Apparently he'd always wanted one, and she could tell he was grinning down the phone to her. She had to admit it was kind of sexy and she was looking forward to riding on the back; he'd even said he would get her a helmet after she had reminded him he had to be safe.

After he had relayed the events of: presents, fishing and family dinner to her, she had given him a second birthday present by way of orgasm. Well, technically, he gave it himself but she helped him along. Just has she had the previous night, which was going to be the last time for a while, because tomorrow she could give them to him for real. Frequently. And he could give them to her.

She cleared her throat after she poured herself a glass of orange juice and awkwardly sat on the stool opposite her mom at the breakfast bar. This was it. She could tell her mom about Derek before she went back and then she wouldn't be here for the wrath her mom would try and set on her. Her mom definitely wouldn't like the idea of her having a boyfriend, but Derek… was Derek. He was amazing and perfect and she didn't really know what her mom could say about him because he really was perfect.

'What you reading?' Meredith asked quietly.

'Pancreatic cancer article.' Her mom replied without looking up.

'Nice.' Meredith nodded. There was a silence in the air as her mom failed to reply. She could do this. She could do this. Mom, _I have a boyfriend_. She. Could. Do. This. 'Frank's coming to collect me at two.'

'What time do you fly?'

'Oh, four.'

'What time will it be there when you get back?'

'Oh, we land at one am.'

'I see.' Ellis looked up.

'I'm not going to unpack all my stuff when I get there, I'm just going to do it tomorrow.'

'Will the other girls be there?'

'Izzie will.' Meredith nodded. 'But Cristina wont get there until the day before school starts.'

'I see.' Her mother looked back down at her journal. She wasn't interested. She was never interested. She'd asked a couple of questions, pretended to be interested for all of two minutes, so that they could leave on a good night. She knew that. The day before she went back to school her mom would ask her the odd question, pretending to be interested. But she wasn't. She wasn't even listening. Meredith knew the only thing in her mothers mind at that moment was her pancreatic cancer paper.

'I… er… wanted to talk to you about something.' Meredith said hopefully.

'What?' Ellis sighed, looking up again. Her eyebrows raised and her expression expectantly. She could do this. She could do this. It was four words. I have a boyfriend. I. Have. A. Boyfriend.

'I…um….'

'Oh spit it out Meredith you know I can't deal with your rambling.' Her mother frowned.

'Right.' She nodded nervously. 'I….'

'Come on,'

'I…' What was wrong with her? What the fuck was wrong with her? Her mother wouldn't approve, she knew that. But she also knew this was something she had to do. Derek had been her boyfriend for three months now, and she was in love with him. She was actually in a serious relationship and she had to tell her mom. It was the right thing to do, not just for her mom, but for Derek too. She wanted him to know that she'd defend him to anyone, and she wasn't ashamed of him.

'Don't tell me you're pregnant.' Her mother snapped.

'What?' she said quickly, almost laughing.

'Oh, Meredith I know I turn a blind eye to your…. Activity… for want of a better word. But I'm not stupid.'

'No.' Meredith shook her head quickly, feeling hurt at the assumption. 'No. No, I'm not pregnant.'

'Are you sure?' Ellis raised her eyebrows.

'Yes.' Meredith nodded. 'I… I'm on birth control.' She said carefully. This could be it. This could be a way in for her to explain that she was only sleeping with one person. Her boyfriend.

'I figured.' Ellis nodded. 'But it isn't always a hundred percent effective. The boys need to use protection too.'

 _Boys._ Plural. Sadie was right, her mom knew she slept around. It was one thing for people at high school and college to judge her off her reputation, but it was another for her own mom. Especially when it was her own mother's neglect and words that drove her to drinking and sex anyway.

She swallowed heavily before replying. 'I know.'

'Good. How many tests have you taken?'

'What?' Meredith breathed.

'Tests. How many have you taken?'

'Wha… mom, I'm not pregnant.'

'One test doesn't give you an accurate answer, Meredith.'

'I…. I haven't taken any tests.' She shook her head. 'I know I'm not pregnant. That isn't what I wanted to talk to you about.'

'I would advise taking a test after multiple sexual encounters with various partners, especially if your menstruation cycle is irregular.'

'I know when to take a test, mom.' She snapped. This is not how she wanted this conversation to go.

'I'm sure.' Ellis said casually.

'I… I know the symptoms and the probable causes, I'm doing a premed degree. That and I have as much common sense as every other girl.'

'Excuse me, don't you speak to me with such an attitude.'

'Sorry.' She said quickly. Being on her mom's bad side was not where she wanted to be right now.

'I should think so.' Ellis nodded. 'So you don't believe you are pregnant?'

'No.' said Meredith. 'Definitely not.'

'Hmmm.' She nodded. 'I hope you understand the seriousness of the matter if you are, Meredith?'

'Yes.' Meredith shook her head.

'Fortunately I can take you to the hospital for a termination.'

'I… I'm not pregnant.' Meredith shook her head, although she felt like her words were falling on deaf ears.

'Terminations can only be carried out before the first twenty-four weeks.'

'I know…' Meredith nodded.

'It's more probable than you think to not see physical indicators or symptoms.'

'Right.'

'So pregnancy needs to be caught early.'

'Right.'

'Otherwise you'll be jeopardising your whole life. So it's important to be vigilant.'

'Okay.' Meredith said. 'Although I'd hardly say a kid jeopardises a persons life.' She said indignantly, getting the underlying hint in her mothers words regarding her own conception. She knew her mother never wanted her, she knew that's what she was getting at.

'At twenty years old with a one night stand it does, Meredith. Do you seriously think you could become a surgeon with a child?' she laughed harshly. 'I mean, chances are you're not going to make it anyway, let alone with a baby.'

Meredith stood still, frozen. What did she say to that?

'Not to mention the tie to its father. A man will do nothing but drag you down and hold you back… and so long as you're vigilant and ensure you manage to avoid procreating with one of these frat crazy college boys, you might have half a shot.'

'Oh….'

'But if that wasn't why you wanted to talk to me about then what is it you demand my attention for?'

'Oh….' She said, fidgeting with her hands. 'I….' _Nothing but drag you down and hold you back._ They had been her mother's words about men. Derek. Except Derek didn't drag her down or hold her back, he helped her when she was stuck with her papers and he helped her study for tests and he wanted her to do well. Just because her mom's experiences with her father and Richard hadn't been the healthiest of relationships, it didn't mean the same for her and Derek. They'd been apart for the most part of eight weeks and only together three before that, but she was extremely happy with Derek. He made her happy and she loved him. But that wouldn't matter to her mom, she knew that. Her mom thought committed relationships with men were the devil… or whatever.

'Well?'

'I… I have a….' It wouldn't come out. The word wouldn't come out. And her mom was sat there with an impatient, cold face, not a face to break what she knew would be unwelcomed news to. 'A…'

A beep filled the room as her mom reached for her flashing pager on the table. Standing up as she read it.

'Looks like I have more important things to concern myself with.' Ellis said, pushing past her to walk out of the kitchen to the hallway where she reached for her shoes and coat.

'Oh…' Meredith breathed, following her mom. 'I….'

'Is it really that important, Meredith? You know I don't have time for your childish, whimsical feelings.'

'Oh… no.' she shook her head. Even though her head was screaming _yes_. Her relationship with Derek wasn't whimsical, or childish. It was big and it was huge and it was something she had never thought she wanted. But now she did and he made her happier than she had ever been. 'No… not important…. It was… nothing….' She said quickly.

'Good.' Said Ellis, picking up her briefcase. 'Have a safe flight.'

'Thanks.' Meredith smiled, flatly as her mom left the house. She walked to turn the latch, before slumping against it, sighing. Great. That went well.

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	43. Chapter 44

_Thank you for the reviews! They are finally back together but lets just say we're currently in the calm before the storm..._

Meredith finished organising her make up on her dressing table in her new apartment for the fife hundredth time. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table, noon. It was officially noon, and while Derek had said he would be a little after noon, she had concluded that noon was an acceptable waiting time to wait outside for him.

Alison and Liv were dropping him off with all of his stuff any minute and she didn't think she could wait any more. She had slept like a baby after her journey back from Seattle, and had woken at eight thirty, despite her tiredness. She couldn't drift back off, she was too excited for twelve pm when her boyfriend would be arriving outside her apartment. She had gotten up and unpacked, showered and eaten in that time. It felt like she'd been going at lightening speed to make time go faster, and she'd ended up sitting on her bed with an hour before her boyfriends ETA. So she'd rearranged her dressing table over and over again.

She grabbed her denim jacket from the back of her door and walked out of her room and through the kitchen-living area of their new apartment which was really nice. It was only a ten minute walk from campus and it was really, really nice, much bigger than her dorm had been. And her room had a double bed which she felt was going to come in very handy.

She raced down the stairs with her cell in her hand and stood on the sidewalk nervously. There was a parking bay right by their door and she stood, watching the road for his moms silver car to pull down the road. She couldn't actually believe that she was seeing him today. It had been two months since they had finished school and in that time she'd only seen him for one weekend. But he hadn't broken his promise of talking to her everyday. And he certainly hadn't broken his promise of them being okay. They were more than okay, they were great. She couldn't wait to wrap her arms around him and hold him close to her, just being near to him.

She knew this year was probably going to be more intense, and her and Derek didn't even know if they were going to be in the same classes. But she was looking forward to being only ten minutes away from him, rather than seven hours of travelling. When he'd surprised her, she'd stolen another one of his shirts from his bag to sleep in, and it was comforting to know that soon that wouldn't be the closest thing she had to her boyfriend.

She should feel pathetic and weak and gooey, but instead she felt excited and happy. She didn't care if she'd become one of those girls, because she could not wait to see him. Wait. She could see him. Well, his car, but he was in the front. She could tell that much, his dark hair was obvious next to his mom.

She smiled as they got closer and she couldn't stop herself from grinning. As Alison pulled over into the bay she felt her stomach fill with butterflies, and seconds later her boyfriend stepped out of the car and turned towards her, beaming.

She couldn't help her self running over to him and flinging herself into his arms, squealing quietly. He wrapped his own arms around her to lift her up and her legs immediately went around his waist, her head buried in between his shoulder and neck, breathing him in.

'Hey you.' He murmured into her ear.

'Hey you.' She grinned, pulling back from his shoulder to cup his face in her hands, running a thumb over his cheek before leaning in to kiss him. It felt like she hadn't kissed him in forever and she brushed her lips over his own softly, before deepening it slightly.

'Hmmm..' he breathed against her lips as she kissed him again, his tongue easing into her mouth. She groaned appreciatively and responded eagerly. She couldn't stop kissing him. After they pulled away, grinning, she leant back in. It didn't even occur to her that Alison and Olivia were still in the car, because she was in Derek's arms and his tongue was massaging hers softly.

'Hi,' she whispered breathlessly, resting her forehead against his.

'Hi,' he grinned, kissing her quickly.

'I love you.' she said, kissing him quickly again.

'I love you too.' he said, again repeating the quick, light kiss, causing her to do the same. 'Boy am I glad to see you.' he laughed.

'Me too.' she grinned. 'So glad.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She giggled and hugged him tighter, relishing in their contact, his smell. His hands rubbed up and down her back gently and she felt so at peace. It was only when she glanced over to the side walk as Derek turned around, still holding her, that she saw his mom and sister.

'Hi guys,' she said nervously from her spot in Derek's arms.

'Hey Mer,' smiled Liv. 'For God's sake Derek put her down.'

'But I don't want to.' Derek pouted, before leaning to kiss Meredith softly.

'Seriously, you can do… whatever this is once we've gone.'

'Olivia leave them alone,' laughed Alison.

'It's disgusting.' His younger sister winced.

'Oh shush, you.' Said Derek, carrying Meredith over to the sidewalk as she giggled, kissing her cheek as her arms remained looped around his neck.

'How are you Meredith, dear?' Alison smiled as Meredith rested her head on Derek's shoulder.

'Good thank you.' she smiled.

'She is now.' Smirked Derek, bouncing her slightly.

'Shut up.' she giggled.

'It's true.'

'Maybe, but still.'

'Whatever.' he laughed, kissing her quickly.

'Jeez, I know you were fucking miserable at home without her Derek, but seriously you're disgusting.' Said Olivia.

'Language, Olivia.' Alison frowned.

'Sorry, mom.'

'Hmmm.'

'Fine, I'll put her down for now,' Derek rolled his eyes, lowering Meredith to the ground, but snaking his arm around her waist.

'Thanks.' smiled his sister sarcastically. 'You can do... that... when I'm not here.'

'Sorry,' Meredith laughed nervously.

'I'm all for you and my brother but not so much... in front of my eyes.'

'You used to say we were cute.' pouted Derek.

'You are. But just not that much in front of my face.'

'Whatever.' Derek laughed.

'Anyway, hey Mer.' his sister smiled, moving to hug her.

'Hey Liv,' Meredith smiled, returning the hug.

'How you doing?'

'I'm good.' Meredith nodded. 'Not the most excited to start classes but glad to be back in Hanover.'

'Seattle sounds so boring.'

'Well, the city isn't. Meredith shook her head. 'I think I've just exhausted everything there is to do alone.'

'That sucks.' His sister said.

'I know.' she agreed.

'At least you're here with Derek and your friends now.'

'Exactly.' Meredith smiled. 'How's Imogen liking Florida?' she asked, knowing Derek and his mom had dropped his sister off at college the week before.

'She loves it.'

'That's good.'

'Definitely.' his sister agreed.

'Has everyone gone back to school now then apart from you and Mark?'

'Yep.' Liv sighed. 'I'm gonna go back the same day as Mark.'

'it is going to be very odd with no-one about the house.' Alison nodded.

'You wont be getting rid of me that easy,' laughed Liv. 'I'll be bringing my laundry home at the weekend.' she smiled, shooting a look at Derek.

'Yeah,' he nodded, following his sister's lead. 'And me and Mer were thinking of coming home to visit some time before Thanksgiving.'

'We were?' Meredith turned to her boyfriend, who's eyes were telling her to agree. 'Right, we were.' Meredith nodded.

'So you wont have peace for long.' Smirked Liv.

'Hmmm,' laughed Alison. 'You're always a welcomed disruption of peace, Olivia.'

'I know.' his sister grinned.

'Now, shall we start taking my stuff upstairs?' said Derek.

'Yeah,' nodded Meredith. 'Your stuff's going in Cristina's room until Sunday.'

'Okay.' he nodded.

'Do you think Mark will help us drive your stuff to yours when he's unpacked his car?'

'I'm sure he will.' Derek nodded.

'Great.' nodded Meredith. 'It would take ages to carry it all.'

'I'll talk to him.'

'Do you want to go upstairs, Alison?' Asked Meredith. 'We can carry his stuff.'

'Oh no, I'll help dear.' Derek's mom nodded.

'Ma,' groaned Derek. 'Go upstairs, you've already had a long drive.'

'Derek Christoper,' his mom raised her eyebrows.

'I'm serious.' Derek nodded. 'Go upstairs and you can help move my stuff into Cristina's room. We can carry it up the stairs.'

'You are a very stubborn man.' his mother murmured. 'Do I just follow the stairs straight up?' she asked Meredith.

'Yeah.' nodded Meredith. 'Izzie's at her boyfriend's so there's no one in, just go straight up.'

'Okay.' the woman smiled.

'Great, now we get to move all your crap.' groaned Olivia as his mom made her way up to the apartment.

'It wont take long between the three of us.' said Derek, his hand on Meredith's back.

'Hmmm.' said Liv opening the trunk and taking a box out.

'Hey,' said Derek, pulling Meredith close to him.

'Hey,' she grinned back, leaning to kiss him.

'Grab a box, Derek!' yelled his sister, turning to head up to Meredith's apartment.

'Okay,' he laughed, not moving away from Meredith, his hands running up and down her sides gently.

'Hmmm,' she grinned, leaning back into him to capture his lips.

'Mer..' he whispered into her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' he breathed, continuing to kiss her.

'We need to stop,' she giggled, holding him close. 'Your sisters going to be back.'

'I wish she wasn't.' he rolled his eyes.

'We can do plenty of that later.' she smiled.

'Is that a promise, Meredith Grey?'

'It is.' she smirked.

'Hmmmm...' he grinned, kissing her softly once more. 'I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too.' she whispered.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' she grinned. 'Now get a box before your sister comes back.'

'Okay.' he laughed, squeezing her before moving to the car and picking up a box.

They carried his stuff in, taking at least three trips each, and filling it all in Cristina's room. Derek had taken the heaviest of his belongings so neither she or his sister had to carry them. She couldnt quite believe how much stuff he actually had. She always thought Derek had hardly any stuff compared to her, but then again she never really thought about all the pots and pans Derek had that she didn't, which kind of made up for the make up and hand bags that she had that he didn't.

The simple thought of his cooking stuff was enough to make her smile, from now on she would be having dinner with him most nights. He would make her pasta or chicken or something, unless she convinced him to order in a pizza; and then they would no doubt cuddle in one of their beds before having sex. She was going to suggest to him leaving some of his stuff at her place, seeing as she was pretty sure they were going to be having sleepovers every night. She'd even bought herself another toothbrush to leave in his bathroom, she was excited to spend every day with him.

Alison had poured out the only thing in Meredith's refrigerator: lemonade, into four glasses and placed them on the kitchen table.

'Thanks, Ma.' smiled Derek, sitting down before pulling Meredith onto his lap.

'Thank you, Alison.' smiled Meredith, taking a sip of the drink in front of her as Derek tightened his arms around her waist.

'Don't thank me dear, it's yours.' Alison laughed softly.

'Thank you anyway.' Meredith giggled, as she felt Derek's breath hot on her neck, making her whole body tingle.

'So you're living with two friends, here?' his mom smiled as Olivia sat down opposite them, taking a drink herself.

'Yes, Izzie and Cristina.' Meredith nodded.

'And Cristina is whom's room Derek's stuff is in?'

'Yeah.'

'And your other friend's at her boyfriends?' Clarified Olivia.

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'Alex. He's okay I guess, I don't really know him that well but Izzie's really happy so that's all that really matters I guess.' she shrugged.

'Is he a sophomore like you? I almost said freshman then.' Alison laughed.

'Yeah, he is.' smiled Meredith. 'He's doing premed too.'

'I love how inbred we are in the medical world.' Said Liv.

'I know, right.' Meredith giggled.

'Hey, I have a roommate who is an art major.' said Derek. 'So I'm the least inbred here.'

'That is good to know.' Meredith giggled, placing her hands over his which were resting around her midsection.

'So, did you get up to much over the break, Meredith?' Asked Alison.

'Oh, no.' She shook her head. 'Not really. I studied a bit, but I spent most of my time with Sadie.'

'Is she finding her degree any easier? I remember you said you thought she wasn't enjoying it?'

'Well, I think she's still planning on winging it.' Nodded Meredith. 'But I don't think she has any alternative plan.'

'Did the two of you do anything nice?'

'It was a but boring actually.' Meredith frowned. 'I mean, we hung out and we went out for lunches and we went to like... two house parties but that was it. We didn't particularly do anything exciting.'

'At least it was nice to spend some time with her.' Alison smiled.

'Yeah, I miss her when I'm here.'

'You do?' said Derek quietly.

'Yeah.' she sighed. 'I mean, I really like Izzie and Cristina but... I've just been friends with Sadie for a long time.'

'Derek's lucky he has Mark here with him.'

'Yeah.' nodded Meredith.

'When you're an only child you must grow incredibly close to your childhood friends.'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'Sadie's always kind of been like my sister.'

'That makes sense.' Alison smiled.

'Bet she's not as annoying as my sister.' smirked Derek.

'Hey!' Shouted Olivia. 'I just came to drop you off. And helped you move your crap.'

'True.' Derek laughed.

'And I am trusted by your girlfriend enough to approve presents.' she pouted.

'Not that it needed approving.' Chuckled Alison.

'I forgot!' Meredith gasped. 'Have you got it on?' she reached for his sleeve and rolled it up slightly.

'Yep.' he grinned, kissing her neck softly as she traced her fingers over the watch.

'You like it?' she turned to grin at him.

'I told you I love it.'

'Just making sure.' she giggled.

'I love it.' he smiled, kissing her quickly.

'Mom, how long do we have to stay while they keep making out?' Olivia groaned.

'That wasn't making out.' pouted Derek, pulling Meredith closer to him. 'It was just a kiss.'

'Whatever.'

'Oh Olivia dear, stop moaning.' Said Alison. 'I'm sure you'll be the same when you bring a boy home.'

'I can confirm that I won't.' his sister smiled.

'You should be happy to see your brother happy.' his mom laughed.

'I am! It's just... gross.' she winced.

'Well then don't let us gross you out any more.' Smirked Derek, kissing Meredith's cheek.

'Is that a hint for us to leave?' his sister raised his eyebrows.

'So that's a yes then.' she replied, to which her brother just shrugged.

'Well, we won't keep you two any longer.' Alison laughed, standing up.

'Okay,' smiled Derek, as Meredith shifted off his lap so he could move over to his mom. 'Thank you for driving me, Ma.'

'Oh, you're welcome sweetheart.' Alison smiled, pulling him in for a hug.

'I'm going to miss you.'

'I'll miss you too.' she smiled. 'Remember, work hard and be safe. Especially on that motor cycle.'

'I will.' he laughed.

'And look after my little lady over there.' she winked at Meredith.

'Oh...' Meredith smiled.

'I will,' Derek laughed. 'You don't need to worry about that.'

'Good.' his mom ran a hand over his cheek. 'I love you, Derek.'

'I love you too, Ma.' he leant in to kiss her cheek before turning to his sister. 'Come on then you, give me a hug.'

'Do I have to?' Olivia rolled her eyes before grinning and nestling herself in her big brother's arms.

'Look after yourself.'

'I will.' she breathed into his shirt. 'You too.'

'Keep an eye on ma,' he whispered.

'I will.' she nodded.

'And keep me updated with how Imogen's doing, seeing as the two of you seem to have morphed into the same person recently.'

'I will.' Olivia laughed, pulling away. 'Although I'm sure she'll be calling her DerBear before me if she has any problems.'

'True.' he laughed. 'Don't forget you can call too if you need me.'

'I will.' his sister said softly. And Meredith couldn't help but smile at how much Derek's sisters loved him, he was so protective and he looked after them so well despite the constant teasing.

'Good.' he smiled, kissing her cheek. 'Now get out of here so I can make out with my girlfriend without you complaining about it.'

'I haven't said bye to her yet!' his sister laughed, moving to hug Meredith. 'Bye Mer.'

'Bye.' Meredith grinned.

'It's been nice to see you even if it was only short.'

'You too.' Meredith smiled. 'We'll do something when me and Der next come to New York?'

'Sure.' Olivia grinned. 'Shopping or food or something?'

'Definitely.' Meredith nodded.

'Hey, stop stealing her she's mine.' said Derek.

'Sorry, looks like you'll have to learn to share.' Olivia pouted.

'Hmmm.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'I was also told by Imogen to say hi etc.' said Liv.

'Oh, thanks.' she smiled. 'Send hi back to her.'

'I will.' Liv nodded.

'Bye sweetheart,' Said Alison, moving to pull Meredith into a hug next.

'Oh... bye...' Meredith breathed.

'It's been lovely to see you again.'

'You too.' Meredith whispered.

'It's always a pleasure. You make my Derek so happy.'

'Oh...' Meredith breathed. 'He makes me happy too.' she blushed.

'Look after each other.'

'We will.' Meredith nodded, glancing at her boyfriend, who was smiling softly at her. 'And we'll definitely come and see you soon.'

'That will be great. Give me enough warning to make you a chocolate cake.'

'Oh.' Meredith laughed. 'We will.'

'Bye sweetheart,' his mom said again, kissing her cheek.

'Bye.' Meredith whispered, grinning.

'Right, we'll leave the two of you in peace now.' His mom laughed. 'Come and give me another hug, Derek.'

'Of course.' Derek laughed, walking to hug his mom again.

They followed Alison and Liv down the stairs and out onto the side walk, Derek pulling her into his arms as they got back in the car. It was weird, she'd met Derek's family twice before, and granted one of those times was for a whole week, but still... twice wasn't a lot. And she felt really at ease with them. They were so friendly and kind to her, and even though his sisters teased them, they all accepted her being with Derek. Something she couldn't say about her own mother.

She waved them bye with Derek and leant against his chest, his hand around her abdomen. It felt perfect to be back with him again and she was excited to have uninterrupted time with him until the holidays.

'Mmmm...' Derek grinned, wrapping his other arm around her. 'I love you...' he murmured, trailing kisses down her neck.

'I love you too.' She giggled, tilting her head to the side to give him better access.

'Now, can we get back to what you promised me earlier?'

'We can.' she giggled, turning in his arms to kiss him.

'Fuck I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too.' she whispered against his lips. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.' he breathed before grinning and picking her up and carrying her inside.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	44. Chapter 45

Derek smiled as the familiar lavender smell he'd gone so long without surrounded him, burying his nose in Meredith's hair as she cuddled into his chest. They were watching some movie _The Notebook,_ he'd seen it with his sisters more times than he could count, but he still didn't know what happened- it was something like two and a half hours and he zoned out halfway through. Round about now, actually. They were snuggled on the couch and it was his last day at Meredith's before he moved into his own place. They hadn't done anything, except lay around watching stuff and having sex. Actually, they did go grocery shopping, but that was it.

The past four days had been spent cuddled up with each other just doing nothing but talking and laughing, and he was realising just how much he'd missed his tiny little girlfriend, who was also his best friend. Today she had seemed quite off, but now she was playing with his hands and pressing the odd kiss to his bicep throughout the movie, and he didn't know how he went so long without her.

'Hey,' she giggled, shifting on top of him, so she was facing him.

'Oh, hi.' He laughed as she straddled him.

'Hi.'

'Hmmmm.' He grinned, leaning to kiss her softly, his arms going around her back.

'You're not paying attention.' She smirked, capturing his lips again.

'You got me,' he laughed.

'Are you bored?' she pouted, her arms going around his neck.

'I just… it's a long movie.' He murmured.

'It is.' She nodded.

'And it's a girl's movie.' He pouted.

'Oh… a girls movie…' she giggled.

'Yes.' He nodded.

'So there's something else you'd rather be doing?' she whispered, moving so suck at his neck.

'Hmmmm… well, I like this,' he smiled, his hands moving down her body to rest on her ass.

'Good.' She whispered, kissing where she'd just left a mark before moving to the other side of his neck.

'Much better than a movie…' he murmured, pulling her close to him, as the door to the apartment swung open and Izzie walked in followed by Alex.

'Shit! Sorry!' said Izzie, closing her eyes.

'Fuck's sake.' Meredith breathed, pulling away from Derek to sit in his lap. 'It's okay Iz.'

'They were still clothed, no biggie.' Said Alex, walking over to the other couch and sitting down.

'I'll say that to you next time we cockblock you.' Meredith smiled.

'Mer,' Derek laughed, squeezing her gently.

'It's true.' She pouted.

'We are in the communal area.' He pointed out.

'Stop being rational.'

'Sorry.' He laughed, kissing her cheek.

'If you want to fuck him by all means fuck him in your room.' Said Alex.

'Thanks for the permission to fuck my own boyfriend.' She snapped.

'Hey,' Derek breathed. 'You okay?'

'Yeah.' She sighed.

'You sure?' he kissed just below her ear.

'He's just annoying.' She shrugged as Izzie sat next to Alex on the couch, offering him a packet of chips.

'I love you.' Derek whispered, kissing the spot below her ear again.

'Love you.' She whispered, turning to kiss him.

'What we watching?' said Izzie.

'The Notebook.' Sighed Meredith.

'Oh my god I love this movie!' her friend grinned.

'A chick movie?' Alex raised his eyebrows, his mouth full of chips.

'Yep.' Sighed Derek, sharing a knowing look with him.

'Hey!' pouted Meredith, hitting his chest.

'A very good chick movie.' He corrected himself.

'Thank you.' She breathed.

'Mer, are you sure you're okay?' he said quietly.

'I'm fine.' She nodded.

'Why don't we go to your room?'

'Kay.' She pouted.

'Okay.' He said, kissing her quickly before she stood up, pulling on his hand.

'We're going to my room.'

'Okay,' said Izzie, flinging her legs over Alex's.

'Now what's up?' He said, closing the door behind him and moving to sit on the bed with her.

'Nothing.' She said grumpily as he sat against the headboard and pulled her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

'Well that's not true.' He murmured, kissing her other cheek.

'It is.' She sighed, as he kissed below her ear.

'Tell me.'

'Nothing's wrong, Derek.' She said quietly as he sucked on her neck.

'You're not yourself.' He whispered, nipping at her.

'I just feel… off.'

'Off?' he asked, his hands moving over her stomach as he kissed her cheek and then her jaw.

'Like I have no reason to be pissed, but when they walked in I'm suddenly all… pissed.'

'Because they walked in?'

'I don't know.' She shrugged. 'I mean, we were going to have sex, but I'm not particularly mad about that.'

'Charming.' He laughed.

'I didn't mean it like that.' She turned in his arms. 'Obviously I wanted to have sex.'

'Good.' He chuckled, leaning to kiss her quickly.

'But that's not why I'm so pissed.'

'Why are you pissed?'

'I don't know!' she sighed frustrated.

'I don't want you pissed.' He said, gently tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

'I know.' She whispered. 'I'm sorry.' She shifted so that she was fully facing him.

'You don't have to apologise. I just don't like that you're… sad or pissed or whatever.'

'I know I'm being annoying though.'

'You're not.' He whispered, kissing her. 'You're allowed to have an off day.' He shrugged.

'Hmmmm.'

'You sure nothing's bothering you?'

'Positive.' She nodded. 'I think.'

'Well if you figure out what it is, you can tell me.'

'I know.' She sighed, settling on his chest, her hand reaching for his. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He said, kissing the top of her head as she entwined their fingers.

'Hmmm…' she sighed, relaxing into him.

'What do you want to do?'

'Just lay here.'

'Okay.' He breathed, pressing another kiss to her head. 'Shall we get under the covers?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Cosy.' He said, pulling her close and pulling the covers up around them. 'There we go.'

'You're like the only person that isn't pissing me off.'

'You've only seen Izzie and Alex all day.' He laughed.

'Okay, fine. The thought of anyone else is pissing me off.'

'Glad I'm exempt.' He chuckled.

'Feel lucky.'

'I do.' He laughed, squeezing her. 'Do you want to stay at mine tomorrow?' he asked gently.

'Yours?' she frowned, her head whipping up.

'Yeah.' He laughed. 'My dorm, you know, that place I'm going to be living for the year.'

'Oh.' She whispered. 'Fuck, so it's the twenty-fifth tomorrow?'

'It is.' He replied, kissing her quickly.

'Fucking hell.' She sighed. 'This explains it.'

'What?' he asked, leaning in for another kiss.

'I'm due on my period in two days.'

'Monday?'

'Yeah.' She sighed. 'I guess I thought it was yesterday.'

'What do you mean?' he murmured, running his fingers along her arm gently.

'The day before I come on, I get cramps but the day before that I always get moody. It explains why I've been so horny, too.'

'Hey am I not reason enough to make you horny?'

'Well obviously,' she rolled her eyes. 'But we've literally had like a hundred rounds of sex in the last few days.'

'Only because you're about to come on your period?' he smirked.

'Okay, well...' she cocked her head to the side. 'Maybe being reunited with you had some influence over that.' she rolled her eyes.

'Hey, stop being mean.' he laughed.

'Sorry, it's the hormones.'

'Ah, I see.' He smiled.

'Stop smiling.' She pouted. 'This means I'm going to be in agony tomorrow while we have to move all your shit.'

'Since when did my stuff become shit?' he laughed.

'Since you chose the worse day ever to move.' She pouted.

'You don't have to carry anything,; he murmured, running his hand through her hair. 'Me and Mark can do it and you can come around later and I'll cook you dinner and you can sleep over.'

'Kay.'

'That doesn't sound very convincing.'

'What will you make me for dinner?'

'What do you want?'

'The nice chicken pie you do.'

'Chicken pie?' he laughed.

'With the mashed potatoes.' She nodded.

'Okay.' He smiled. 'I'll need a few extra groceries but I'll text you when it's ready for you.'

'Okay.' She smiled. 'Thank you.' She pressed a kiss to his lips.

'You are very welcome.' He laughed against her lips.

'Love you.' She murmured, kissing him again.

'Love you too.' He whispered as she resettled on his chest.

She closed her eyes and focused on nothing but the way Derek was holding her. He was warm, and he was cuddly, and he was holding her so close to him. She loved being close to him, and the last few days had shown her how much she missed being close to him. When they woke up together, when they cuddled on the couch together, when they went to bed together, nothing felt more perfect than being wrapped up in him.

He was holding her and kissing her even though she had suddenly turned pissy for no apparent reason. He was making her dinner for her tomorrow and was running his hands soothingly over her stomach, which was where she could only assume he thought her cramps would be. He was so gentle and caring with her and it made her heart swell. She officially had the best boyfriend in the world, and she didn't care what that made her sound like. Her mom was wrong. Men didn't drag you down, or hold you back. They held you close and took care of you when it was your time of the month.

She knew she should have told her mom about Derek. She should have tried more than once because she should have figured the conversation would have gone like that. It would mean a lot to Derek for her to have told her mom, just like it meant a lot to her as to how his family accepted her. Derek knew her mom wouldn't be happy about them, but that wasnt the point. The point is that Meredith should have told her in spite of knowing she wouldn't be happy.

She sighed, squeezing his hand gently. It wasn't even like she'd get another chance to tell her mom, in person that was, until the holidays. Which was like four months away. She wouldn't be seeing her until then and therefore neither would Derek... so technically Derek wouldn't know if she'd told her mom or not. She could tell Derek that she'd told her mom, and then actually tell her mom at Christmas. The likelihood of Derek meeting her wasn't until next summer, which was almost a year away. By then the details of when Ellis became aware of their relationship would be irrelevant and forgotten.

She mulled the thought over in her head and the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. She was being whiny and this would be a nice conversation she could have with him by way of apology for being aggy. Plus, it would make him really happy. And his eyes always glistened when he smiled in a way that made her unable to stop herself kissing him.

'Der...' she said quietly, her head still on his chest and her hand squeezing his.

'Yeah?' he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

'I forgot to tell you,' she breathed. 'I told her.'

'What?' he asked gently.

'My mom, I told her.'

'Oh.' he breathed as she moved her chin to rest on his chest, looking up at him. 'And?' he asked apprehensively.

'She took it... interestingly...'

'Interestingly?' he asked.

'She wasn't happy.'

'No?'

'No.' she sighed. 'But I wasn't expecting her to be.'

'You're still here.' Derek smiled.

'Of course I am.' she breathed, moving up to kiss him. 'I love you.'

'I'm glad.' he smiled against her lips.

'She couldn't change that.'

'Good. At least we don't have to sneak anymore.'

'I mean it's not like she's here to hide from.' Meredith laughed.

'True. But it just makes things easier.'

'It does.' she smiled as he leaned to kiss her again.

'You still feeling pissed?'

'Yes but not at you.' she giggled, kissing him quickly.

'Good.' he whispered against her lips before deepening the kiss slightly.

'Oh, Derek...' she breathed into his mouth.

'Love you.'

'Love you too.' she murmured, kissing him again before cuddling into his side.

'Tell me if you need me to get you anything.'

'I will.' she nodded.

'Heating pads, ice cream, whatever you want.' he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

'I've not actually got any cramps yet, Der.' she giggled.

'I know, but whatever you want, I'll get it for you.'

'Look at you being my knight in shining whatever.'

'Happy to be at your service.' he grinned.

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	45. Chapter 46

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for reading, and that you to Soccergreys101 for always reviewing I really appreciate it!_

Meredith reached for three plates out of the cupboard before setting them out on the table alongside the glasses and jug of water. Izzie and Cristina would be back from their bio class any minute and dinner was almost ready. On Monday she had suggested setting aside one day a week when they would have dinner all together, because in the last three weeks, she couldn't recall more than two occasions when all three of them had been in the kitchen together, alone. Derek or Alex were either there, or she or Izzie were out at their boyfriend's, and while she was loving how much time she was getting to spend with Derek, she thought it was important for her to remain close to her friends.

Her and Derek had gotten into a routine, since being back at school and it felt so… right. They spent almost every night together- even if he went to watch the game with the boys, she would let herself into his room and fall asleep in his bed. Then when he came home she would feel the bed shift and he would pull her into his arms and kiss her neck softly. Already, Derek had become a lot more sociable than he was last year, not that he was an introvert or anything, but he was definitely going to the campus bars more with Mark, something he did very rarely last year.

She had cleared him a drawer out of hers so he could put his stuff in, and he had done the same for her. It was great because they were in the same bio class again this year, and the same physics, so they were lab partners. Although, she would be lying if she said that studying with him was as easy as last year, because they probably spent thirty percent of their time kissing and making out when they were trying to work.

She was happy, though. She was happy and things were really great between her and Derek. He had even offered to make the dinner for her friends that she had suggested, after she realised she didn't actually have the means to cook for them. So his chicken and pepper pasta bake with garlic bread was in the oven, which she had attempted to help him with, before she apparently distracted him by dropping her hands to his crotch as he was at the stove, and was told to sit down.

The sound of her friends voices coming up the stairs began to fill the room, before they came through the door, Izzie dumping her bag on the couch and Cristina hung her coat up on the rack.

'Hey, oh my god that smells good!' grinned Izzie, flinging her coat off too.

'I know right.' Meredith giggled, putting on the oven gloves before pulling out the dish Derek had put in half an hour before.

'Thanks Mer.' Said Izzie, sitting down as Meredith placed the dish in the middle of the table, next to the plate of garlic bread.

'I am starving.' Sighed Cristina sitting down as Meredith turned the oven off.

'Me too.' She said, sitting down next to Izzie. 'How was bio?'

'Boring.' Izzie scrunched her nose.

'The professor was hot.' Shrugged Cristina.

'No he wasn't.' Izzie rolled her eyes.

'Mer, he was.'

'Who was it?' Meredith laughed, putting a piece of garlic bread on her plate.

'Dr. Winter.'

'Wait- the one with the grey streak in his hair?' Meredith gasped.

'Yeah.'

'Izzie! He is hot!'

'He has grey hair. Grey hair.' Frowned Izzie.

'He's still hot!' protested Meredith.

'Hmmm…'

'You're blind, Izzie. I guess that does explain why you're dating Alex.' Cristina retorted.

'Hey.' Pouted Izzie as Meredith giggled. 'Mer are we okay to just go in?' said Izzie, picking up her spoon.

'Go for it.' Meredith nodded around her garlic bread, as Izzie dug into the pasta, followed by Cristina.

'I'm confused as to where this came from.' Said Cristina flatly. 'You don't cook.'

'I don't.' Giggled Meredith, getting some for herself.

'This is so good, Mer.' Grinned Izzie.

'It is.' Cristina nodded.

'Thanks.' She smiled. 'But I didn't make it, Derek did.'

'Of course.' Said Cristina, rolling her eyes.

'What?' frowned Meredith. 'You just said it was nice?'

'So?' Cristina frowned back across the table.

'If it's nice then why does it matter who made it?'

'It doesn't?'

'Then why did you say it like that?'

'Like what?'

'Like that.'

'I didn't say anything about him making it being a problem.'

'No, but your voice did.'

'For god's sake, no need to get your panties in a bunch.'

'I'm not.' Protested Meredith. 'You're being rude.'

'Alright, sorry whatever.'

'Wow that was sincere.' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'Stop being whiny, Mer.'

'I'm not!' Meredith gasped. 'You're being rude!'

'Sorry I forgot Brain boy was the Messiah who we should worship at all times.'

'Fuck off, Cristina.' Meredith shook her head.

'Cris,' Izzie warned.

'Alright, I'm sorry that was mean.'

'Yeah, it was.' Said Meredith indignantly. 'He made you a nice dinner so that the three of us could spend time together and have a nice night and all you can do is be hostile to him. It's rude.'

'I just thought it was ironic that he made dinner, that's all.' Cristina shrugged.

'And why is that?'

'I don't know, just is. I mean, you say we have to do this whole sickening best friends bonding thing whatever, and it just contradicts that.'

'Contradicts it?' Meredith frowned.

'Well the whole point in this is to tare you away from him for more than thirty seconds, and instead he's cooking our dinner. The counter is probably contaminated with his sperm or something knowing you two.'

'Fuck off.' Snapped Meredith. 'Actually fuck off Cristina.'

'You're seriously too touchy.' Her friend said innocently.

'You're seriously pissing me off.' Countered Meredith.

'Guys, I think we should probably calm down a bit.' Said Izzie tentatively.

'She's the one getting defensive.' Shrugged Cristina.

'And you're the one being rude! Seriously, what is your problem?'

'I don't have a problem.'

'Well you obviously do. What's the problem with me and Derek?'

'You're just annoying.'

'Annoying?' choked Meredith. 'Annoying?'

'You're joined at his hip and are literally disgusting.'

'You're pissed because you can't handle a bit of pda?' frowned Meredith.

'I don't want it in my face. You were the same with Sarah and Dan last year.'

'Fine. We won't hang out around here anymore.'

'Mer, don't say that.' Breathed Izzie. 'Cristina's just being immature.'

'I know that.' Grimaced Meredith. 'Because apparently there's no problem with you and Alex being all over each other but there is with Me and Derek.'

'You seriously need to get a grip, Mer.'

'No, you need to get a grip, Cristina. You don't even give him a chance.'

'What do you want me to do?'

'Maybe make some sort of effort with him?'

'I don't dislike Brain boy, I don't know why you're acting as if I've attacked him or something.'

'Derek.'

'What?'

'His name, is Derek.'

'Whatever.' Cristina rolled her eyes.

'No, not whatever. His name is Derek and it would be nice if you actually made an effort to get along with him because you both mean a lot to me.'

'I do make an effort with him.'

'No you don't.'

'Yes, I do.' Cristina frowned.

'How about the other day when he was trying to talk to you about the physics paper while I was showering and you literally gave him one word answers before putting your headphones in?'

'What?'

'He was trying to talk to you and make conversation because he knows that you're my friend and it would mean a lot to me if you could at least get along.'

'Fine, I'll try and give several word answers next time.'

'Whatever.' Sighed Meredith. 'You know, he made your dinner tonight. He didn't have to but he offered to because other wise we'd be having canned spaghetti and fish sticks which would probably be burnt because that's all I can cook. But he knows that Izzie doesn't really like fish sticks, so he offered to make something that we could all enjoy. And he didn't have to do that.'

'I never said he did.' Cristina shrugged.

'No, but you're being rude about it. He made your dinner for you _even though_ he thinks you're-'

The table fell silent. Meredith realised she had stopped herself about five words too late. The anger in her eyes suddenly vanished and she could see Cristina staring, waiting for her to complete her sentence. She'd landed herself in hot water, and was about to open a wound from almost twelve months ago, and she could kick herself. But she was just so angry. Cristina seemed to hate Derek for some unknown reason. I mean, it would be understandable if Meredith was always fucking off her friends for him, and while she'd not spent as much time with her friends as she'd like, it wasn't all down to Derek. Izzie had Alex, and he didn't seem to receive the same hatred from her friend.

Her and Izzie were in the same bio and physics, and they were all in the same chemistry. But it did mean that she was with Derek for class, rather than them. Not that she could help Dartmouth premed school timetabling.

'He think's I'm what?' her friend said, frostily.

'Nothing.' Said Meredith quickly. 'Nothing… I… I shouldn't have said that… I…'

'Come on, Mer. You're happy enough to tell us what he thinks about everything else, so what does he think about me?'

'Cristina.' Izzie shook her head.

'No, if Brain boy's been talking shit behind my back then-'

'He's not been talking shit.' Said Meredith.

'Well, you would say that.'

'He's not.'

'Then what does he think about me? Come on.'

'He… it's nothing, Cristina.'

'Well it's obviously something.'

'He just…. It's really nothing can we just drop it?'

'No. I want to know what he's been saying.'

'He's not been "saying" anything.'

'Then what is it?'

'Fine.' Meredith sighed, running her fingers over her wrists, nervously. 'He… you remember when he came to that party with us last year?'

'When he sat there like a lame ass loser all night? Yeah.'

Something snapped inside her at her friends words. She was so casually dismissing Derek as if he was someone they all hated and bitched about. She knew it was how Cristina was, but she also knew that if Cristina was really her friend, she would be supportive and attentive with her boyfriend, not the exact opposite.

'See that,' Meredith breathed. 'That pisses me off.'

'What?'

'That. What you just said.'

'Fine, sorry.' Cristina sighed. 'Yes I remember the party he came to.'

'You just….' Meredith swallowed. 'Whatever.' She shook her head. Cristina wasn't worth it.

'Go on then.'

'What?'

'What about the party?'

'Oh.' She breathed. 'You… you said something… and I know you didn't mean anything by it… and I know… I know it was true but you… you're my friend….'

'Oh fucking hell. God forbid, if I insulted Brain Boy then I really am sorry.'

'This isn't about Derek.' Meredith snapped.

'Well it obviously is.'

'No, it's not.' Meredith spat. 'You said something about _me_. And it upset _me._ '

'What did I say?' her friend frowned.

'You… you just said something and it got to me.'

'And Brain boy's acting like your knight in shining whatever.'

'You've not even said sorry.'

'You've not told me what it is.'

'It shouldn't matter! If you said something that upset me, if you're not sorry for saying it you should at least be sorry that it upset me.'

'Fine. I'm sorry whatever I said upset you.'

'Thanks.' She said sarcastically.

'Guys,' breathed Izzie. 'I think… maybe… we should….'

'So what was it?' said Cristina, taking a drink of water.

'What you said?' Meredith raised her eyebrows. 'You basically called me a whore and a shit friend.'

'Well…' Cristina shrugged.

'Cristina!' Izzie snapped.

'What? She was a whore, and now she's a shit friend.'

'Fuck off.' Breathed Meredith, standing up from the table.

'You were! Even you said you were!'

'You're not supposed to agree!' Said Meredith, standing behind her chair. 'Or at least not to my face!'

'Okay, I just thought… you always joked about sleeping around.'

'Yeah, well, it wasn't funny.'

'Okay, I know that now. Sorry.'

'And what do you mean I'm a shit friend? I fucking organised this dinner.'

'Yeah because you feel bad for fucking us off for Brain boy twenty-four seven.'

'Cristina,' Izzie sighed.

'Even you say it.' Cristina shrugged.

'Iz?' Meredith turned to her friend.

'Mer… I…'

'You're always with Alex. Always. And I'm sorry that timetabling put me in two of Derek's classes and not yours, I really am. But it's not my fault our itineraries don't match.'

'We know, Mer.' Nodded Izzie.

'No, don't you be nice to me if you've been bitching about me.'

'It wasn't bitching.' Izzie shook her head.

'Then what was it?!' Meredith waved her hands in the air.

'A conversation, over breakfast.' Cut in Cristina. 'But you weren't here.'

'Let me guess, I was at Dereks.' Meredith mimicked in her friend's tone, causing them both to look away awkwardly. 'Why did you even agree to come to this dinner then? If I'm such a shit friend?'

'You're not a shit friend.' Izzie shook her head.

'Apparently I am.'

'We just don't see you a lot any more.'

'You never ask me anywhere.' Meredith shrugged.

'There's no point.' Said Cristina.

'Why? Because you think if you asked me to do something I would say no?'

'You're probably bent over somewhere with Brain boy's dick in you.'

'Fuck off!' Meredith shouted. 'Do you really think if you asked me to go somewhere I would say no?'

'I don't know.' Cristina shrugged.

'He's my boyfriend not my mom, he doesn't dictate what I do. I decide for myself, and sometimes as my friends, you come first. Out of choice.'

'Hmmm.'

'Cristina!' Meredith shouted.

'What?' her friend shrugged.

'You know what, fuck it.' She sighed, taking her plate and tipping her now cold dinner in the bin.

'Mer…' breathed Izzie.

'No, I'm pissed off.'

'I…' Izzie glanced at Cristina, shooting her a look. To which Cristina shrugged. 'Don't go, Mer.' Izzie called after her as she stormed into her room. She sat on her bed and put her converse on, reaching for her college bag and jacket before returning to the kitchen and walking straight to the door.

'Mer…' Izzie breathed.

'You can do the dishes. And throw the dinner Derek made you in the trash now it's gone cold.' She snapped, walking out the door and down the stairs incredibly fast. She walked at what felt like a hundred miles an hour before reaching Derek's building. She climbed the stairs up to his, new, nicer dorm, reaching in her back pocket for her cell, only to realise she hadn't picked it up. When she reached his door, she knocked, knowing it would be open anyway.

'Hey Mer,' smiled Tim.

'Hi.' She sighed.

'You okay?' he laughed, stepping aside so she could come in.

'Yeah.' She nodded, before smiling at her boyfriend's other roommates. 'Hi guys. Is Der in his room?'

'Yeah.' Said Mark as Tim sat back on the couch, the three of them watching some football game.

'Thanks.' She smiled, walking to Derek's room and pushing his door open.

Hey,' he breathed, looking up at her from his laptop, smiling, before detecting her mood and suddenly frowning. 'You okay?'

'No.' she said, kicking her shoes and shrugging her jacket off before cuddling up to him on the bed, forcing him to move the laptop.

'No?' he breathed, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

'No.' she said into his chest.

'What's up? Wait, how was dinner?'

'There was no dinner.' She mumbled into his shirt as he ran his hands softly down her back.

'Explain,' he prodded, kissing her forehead gently.

'Cristina's a bitch. Actually, Cristina and Izzie are both bitches.'

'Wait, that escalated quickly.' Her boyfriend said, tightening his arms around her. 'What happened?'

'She's.. I hate her.'

'No you don't.' he soothed.

'I do.'

'Mer, I love you. But you don't hate Cristina.'

'Right now I do. She can fuck off.'

'Okay, right now you do.' He smiled gently as she looked up at him and leaned to kiss him softly.

'I love you too. But she can still fuck off.'

'Now, start from the beginning.' He said, as she scrambled up so that she was sat in his lap rather than lay on him.

'She… I called her out on not making an effort with you.'

'Oh.'

'I… she made a comment and it pissed me off so I called her out.'

'Mer, you don't have to fall out with your friends over me.'

'No,' she frowned, 'I'm not letting them treat you like crap. She has no problem with Alex.'

'I think she's just… Cristina.' He shrugged.

'That's not the point.' She breathed.

'Okay.' He nodded. 'Not the point.'

'And when we were fighting… I might have… I let something slip and then we had a bigger fight.'

'What?' he breathed, running his thumb across her jaw gently.

'When she called me a whore.' She said quietly.

'Oh Mer,' he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

'She wasn't even sorry.' She pouted, wrapping her arms around his neck lazily.

'That's out of order.' He shook his head.

'And then they've been calling me a shit friend for spending time with you.'

'What… Mer, I don't want to stop you seeing you friends…'

'I know that.' She said firmly, kissing him. 'I know that. They never invite me anywhere anyway. And I cant help our classes. And I was the one who made an effort with the fucking dinner.'

'You were.' He nodded.

'They can fuck off.'

'You're saying that a lot tonight.' He laughed gently.

'Shut up,' she pouted, a small smile playing at her lips before she rested her forehead against his.

'It doesn't sound like they were very nice friends tonight.' He said quietly.

'No.' she whispered, shaking her head. 'They weren't.'

'Hmmm..' he breathed, kissing her gently. 'I'm sorry they upset you.'

'Me too.' She whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

'Did they at least like my pasta?' he grinned.

'They did.' She laughed, her forehead still against his. 'Not that we ate much of it. When I left it had gone cold.'

'That's a shame.'

'I know. I was really looking forward to it, too.'

'Let me see what I have.' He breathed, kissing her deeply before rolling her off his lap to lay down in his bed. He ducked his head down to kiss her again before going to see what food he had in his refrigerator.

She buried herself under his covers and picked up his laptop to see what he had been looking at. She saw loads of tabs open looking at women's scarves. She scrunched her nose, confused. There was a Mulberry tab open, a Burberry tab open, a Ted Baker tab open. She flicked through them until he came in holding a plate and two cups.

'We don't really have anything I can make you fast, so I thought your chocolate pop tarts?'

'Perfect.' She breathed, kissing him as he sat down and handed the plate to her. 'What are those?' she giggled as he placed both mugs on the bed side table.

'I didn't know if you were in a hot chocolate or Tequila mood, so I brought both.'

'Thanks.' She giggled, leaning to kiss him, chocolate on her lips.

'Mmm…' he smiled, kissing her again quickly before she pulled away. 'You been having a nosey?' he laughed, pulling the laptop from her and leaning against the head board.

'Yes.' She giggled, settling herself against him, her head on his shoulder and her plate resting on the duvet.

'Sorry to disappoint but they weren't for you.' He laughed.

'Who's it for?'

'Lara.' He sighed. 'It's her birthday soon and apparently she wants a nice scarf.'

'Do you buy her your own present?' Meredith asked around her mouthful of Poptart.

'The girls get her a joint one and me and Mark do a joint one. Im says she wants a nice scarf.'

'They trust you to pick one out?' Meredith raised her eyebrows.

'Apparently.' He laughed.

'Which ones do you like?'

'This one.' He pointed to a navy and dark green almost tartan one on the Ted Baker site.

'I like that.' Meredith nodded.

'It's my favourite, but I think this is more Lara.' He said, opening the Mulberry site and pointing at a slightly more expensive, loosely checked black and white scarf.

'I like that too.'

'You do?' he breathed, turning to her.

'Yeah.' She lifted her head off his shoulder.

'Hmmm…' he smiled, kissing her.

'I think that one.' She nodded. 'If you can afford the extra money.'

'Yeah, that's not a problem.' Derek nodded. 'It's between the two of us.'

'When's her birthday?'

'September twenty-ninth.'

'What can I get for her?'

'What?'

'What can I get for her?'

'You don't have to get her anything.' Derek shook his head.

'I want to.' She breathed, kissing his neck softly.

'Mer, I have a big family, present buying is a big commitment.' He laughed.

'One I want to make.' She whispered, sucking on his neck. 'So what can I get her?'

'You can hop on this with us?'

'I don't want to intrude on your guys' present.' She shook her head.

'It's fine.'

'I… no, it's… do you and Mark get it joint every year?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'Then no… I don't want to intrude.'

'You wont be intruding.' He laughed.

'Jake got you a separate present.'

'I wouldn't have cared if he hadn't.'

'But he didn't.' she pointed out.

'But he and Lara are a unit so I wouldn't expect him to get me something separate.'

'You… oh…'

'What?'

'We… and we're a unit now?' she began to smile.

'Yeah.' He shrugged.

'Oh.' She grinned, hear heart jumping. They were a unit now, whatever that meant.

'So you can hop on our present.'

'No.' she shook her head. 'I'll get her something on my own. What does she like to drink?'

'White wine but you don't have to get her any.'

'Okay.' She said. 'I'll call Liv and ask her what kind.'

'I love you.' He breathed, putting an arm around her after shutting the laptop and putting it on the floor.

'I love you too.' She smiled, kissing him. 'Want some?'

'No thanks.' He laughed, declining her Poptart.

'Hmmm…' she breathed, finishing it before handing him the plate to put on his table.

'Hi,' he smiled wrapping her up in his arms.

'Hi.' She grinned, resting her forehead against his.

'You feeling okay?' he whispered.

'Yeah. They're still bitches. But I'm okay.'

'Good.' He whispered, kissing her.

'Can I stay here for the weekend?'

'Of course you can.' He frowned. 'Are you sure that's a good idea?'

'Yeah.' She breathed. 'Space. Plus, you're the only one not pissing me off.'

'This seems to be a reoccurring theme,' he laughed, shifting her so that she was looking up at him.

'What?' she smiled.

'Me being the only one not pissing you off.'

'Oh, give it time and I'm pretty sure you'll sometimes be the only one pissing me off.' She giggled.

'Charming.' He laughed, ducking to kiss her.

'I wish we could just disappear for a few days.' She sighed, wrapping her legs around his.

'Hmmm…' he breathed, cupping her cheek.

'Stupid college.'

'Stupid college.' He agreed. 'But I suppose we could. I finish at one tomorrow.'

'What?' she laughed. 'Where would we go?'

'We could go to New York?' he shrugged.

'Seriously?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'Physics is cancelled Monday morning and we don't have bio until four. So unless you have chem we could come back Monday lunch?'

'No, I don't have chem.' She shook her head, her heart skipping a beat.

'Then lets go.' He breathed, kissing her. 'I can look at trains and flights to see what's cheaper in the morning.'

'Seriously?' she breathed.

'Seriously.' He nodded.

'I… that sounds perfect.'

'Good.' He smiled kissing her nose.

'I love you.' She breathed, reaching for his hand.

'I love you too.' He kissed her as she intertwined their fingers.

'So much.'

'So much.' He echoed, kissing her again.

She sighed happily as she leaned up to brush her lips against his. He pulled her closer and eased his tongue into her mouth gently. Her head swam as his tongue danced along hers. A few days away with him sounded perfect. Cristina had majorly pissed her off, and she knew Derek wanted to see his mom, so going to stay with her for a few days and not the apartment sounded like the perfect plan.

She gasped into his mouth as he kissed her deeper, his hands travelling down to her ass, which was still covered by her jeans. She didn't care what her friends said. She was happy with Derek. She was happy and it was new and she definitely was not fucking her friends off. They never asked her to do anything anyway, if they did, of course she would make plans with them. They just never asked her because they assumed.

But it didn't matter, because right now she was kissing her amazingly perfect boyfriend who made her Poptarts and hot chocolate, and took her to New York when she needed to get away. Her friends didn't even deserve her thoughts anymore, so she directed them all to Derek, as she moved her fingers to his hair, pulling him closer to her.

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	46. Chapter 47

_Okay so I am so sorry it's been a while! But he good news is I've finished college for the year, so no exams taking up my time! I have only proof read this once as I wanted to get it up for you guys. I hope you enjoy it because... well... I think you're gonna hate me the next few chapters..._

Derek squeezed Meredith close to him as they waited in the airport, kissing her forehead gently. It was five pm and they had arrived in Boston half an hour ago. When he rang his mom the night before to let her know he and Meredith were coming home for a few days, she had been delighted, but suggested instead of coming home, they went to Boston, to see his Grandmother. Derek's grandma Margret was his dad's mom, and he hadn't seen her in twelve months. Alison had visited her for her birthday in February, but Derek hadn't seen her since last summer. So it seemed like a good opportunity to see both his mom and grandma.

They had gotten the train at two, and arrived in the centre twenty minutes ago, before getting a cab to the airport to meet his mom. He'd asked Olivia and Mark if they wanted to come, but Mark had passed and Olivia had a paper in for Monday that she hadn't started yet, and so it was just he, Meredith and his mom.

Meredith had been nervous at the prospect of meeting his grandmother, until he had reassured her that she was dying to meet her, and was equally as welcoming as the rest of his family. Probably even more so. Besides, they were staying at his grandmothers, but would have the chance to slope off around Boston alone. Meredith was born in Seattle, but lived in Boston for a brief period when she was five to eleven, so she was no stranger.

His mom's flight was supposed to have landed, and they were meeting her at the gate. He began to see people filtering through, and squeezed his arms around his girlfriend. She looked up and kissed him gently before he moved his arm to her shoulder looking for his mom in the crowd.

'There she is,' smiled Meredith.

'Where?' he frowned, looking in the same direction as his girlfriend.

'There.' She giggled, pointing as his mom came toward them, smiling.

'Hello dears.' Said Alison, her carry on case in her hand.

'Hi Alison.' Meredith smiled.

'Hello sweetheart,' Alison moved to hug her and kiss her cheek, before moving to Derek.

'Hi Ma.' He grinned, wrapping his arms around her.

'Hello Derek dear.'

'How was your flight?' he asked, reaching for his mom's bag, as Meredith carried theirs.

'Good thank you.' His mom smiled as Derek took Meredith's free hand with his own.

'Good.' He smiled as they walked out of the airport.

'How was your train?'

'Okay thanks.' Derek smiled.

'I feel like I haven't seen you in so long.' Alison smiled as they reached the cab rank outside the airport.

'I know.' Replied Derek.

'I spoke to your Grandmother last night straight after you called and she's very excited to see you.'

'I'm excited to see her too.' Derek grinned, raising his hand for a cab.

'I said we'd see Aunt Sandra at some point before we left too, but the two of you will still have plenty of time in the city.' Alison smiled. 'Derek said you lived in Boston for a little while, Meredith?'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith nodded as Derek opened the cab door for her and she climbed in with his mom while Derek sat in the front.

'It's a lovely city.'

'It is.' Meredith agreed as Derek gave the driver his grandmother's address.

'How long did you live here for?'

'Erm, six years. From when I was five.'

'So you started school here?'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'All of Michael's family live here, he moved to New York for work when he was eight-teen.'

'Are you from New York?'

'Yes.' Alison nodded.

'Where did you guys meet?' Meredith asked.

'At a bar.' His mom smiled. 'I was underage.'

'Really?' Meredith giggled.

'Yep.' Alison nodded. 'He was just twenty one and I was seven-teen.'

'Did he know you were under age?'

'Of course he did.' Alison laughed. 'It was pretty obvious.'

'Oh.' Meredith smiled.

'Mom,' said Derek, turning from the front seat. 'Will you look at a scarf I want to buy Lara later? Just so you can approve it.'

'Of course sweetheart.' Alison smiled. 'Where is it from?'

'Was it… Mul… something… Mer?'

'Mulberry.' She giggled. 'I like it.'

'What's it like?' Alison asked his girlfriend.

'It's black with like a checked pattern on, but it's not checked… I don't know if that makes sense.' She breathed.

'I'm sure if you've approved it I will do the same.'

'I think it's really nice.' Meredith nodded. 'Derek did a good job picking it out.'

'He has good taste for a man.' Alison laughed softly.

'Thanks.' Derek rolled his eyes. 'If you like it, I might buy it out here and give it you to take home if that's okay?'

'That's fine.' Alison nodded.

'Oh, and I was going to ring Liv but I might as well ask you…' began Meredith. 'What kind of wine is her favourite?'

'Oh, she likes dry white.' His mom smiled. 'No specific type really, any will do.'

'Okay thanks.' Nodded Meredith. 'Dry white.'

'How are you settling into classes this year?' Asked Alison softly.

'Okay.' Meredith sighed as Derek made small talk with the driver. 'Me and Der are in the same bio and physics so that's good.'

'Yes, he mentioned on the phone.'

'And then I'm in the same chemistry as two of my friends, so it's pretty good.' she nodded.

'That is fortunate.' his mom nodded.

'Yeah.' Meredith sighed.

'Are you okay dear?'

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'Derek said you were quite upset last night on the phone.' his mom said quietly, as not to draw attention to the conversation as Derek carried on chatting in the front.

'Oh.'

'He didn't go into detail,' Alison shook her head. 'And I'm not trying to pry. I'm just checking you're okay.' she said softly.

'Oh. Thanks.'

'You don't seem your usual giggling self.'

'I just... had a fight with my friends last night.'

'Ah, I see.' Alison nodded. 'The girls you live with?'

'Yeah. They just... one of them was horrible. But the other one annoyed me too.'

'Girls can be nasty.'

'Yeah.' Meredith breathed.

'I raised four of them and sometimes it does get rather ugly.'

'Did they fight a lot?'

'Well,' his mom laughed. 'They used to bicker all the time when they were children, and before their father died they had a couple of nasty arguments.'

'They did?'

'Yes. Not many, but the odd one. Four hormonal girls are not a good combination.'

'I can see that.' Meredith giggled.

'Olivia and Claire were the worst. Imogen wasn't close behind.'

'Really?'

'Yes.' Alison nodded. 'Lara was at college and wasn't really caught up in it.'

'That makes sense.'

'Claire has a horrible temper.'

'She does?'

'Awful.'

'That's surprising.'

'She's a lot better now. Especially since she's at school.'

'Yeah, I think families get easier when you go to college.'

'How are things with you and your mom?'

'Oh... pretty much... the same as always.'

'At least she knows about you and Derek now, which must be a relief.'

'Yeah.' Meredith said quickly.

'It must be comforting for her to know someone's looking after you.'

'Yeah.' Meredith smiled awkwardly. 'What are you getting Lara for her birthday?'

'Oh, her and Jake are saving up to go on vacation, so I'm giving them some money toward that.'

'That's nice.' Meredith nodded. 'Where are they going?'

'They hadn't decided when I last spoke to her about it.' Alison smiled. 'We aren't far from Margret's now.'

'Where does she live?'

'About ten minutes away. So, what's the deal with these friends of yours?'

'Oh.'

'Was it a big fight?'

'Kind of. It was... I'm angrier at one of them more than the other.'

'What are they called again?'

'Izzie and Cristina.'

'And which one are we the most mad at?'

'Oh, Cristina.'

'What's Cristina done?'

'Well,' Meredith breathed, checking that Derek was still in conversation with the driver about Baseball or... whatever he was talking about. 'She said something to me almost a year ago, that I never really confronted her about. And then she was being mean about Derek last night, and when we were fighting... the thing from a year ago kind of slipped out and then the whole thing just escalated.'

'What was she saying about Derek?' Alison frowned.

'Well, it wasn't really Derek, as such.' Meredith shook her head. 'It was more me being with Derek.'

'Ah, I see.'

'Me and Izzie both have boyfriends and I think she just feels a bit left out. But I don't mean to make her feel left out, I organised a dinner for the three of us in order to make her not feel left out.'

'It must be very difficult.' Alison nodded. 'But there are nice ways to go about it.'

'Exactly! She just... she's very cold and dry anyway.'

'Not very tactful?'

'Not at all.' Meredith sighed.

'Have you spoken to them today?'

'No.'

'Have you thought about what you're going to say when you see them on monday?'

'Not really.' Meredith chewed her lip. 'I'm not really looking forward to it. It's going to be... awkward.'

'It probably will be. But it will get more awkward the longer you put it off.'

'True.'

'So maybe try and talk to them as soon as you get back and have had a few days away to clear your head.'

'Yeah.'

'I'm sure it will work itself out sweetheart.'

'Yeah, I think it will.' Meredith nodded. 'I think it was just an inevitable fight at some point.'

'Hmmm.' Alison nodded as the car slowed.

'You girls okay back there?' Derek smiled over his shoulder as they stopped outside his grandmother's house.

'Very good thank you.' His mom smiled.

Derek paid the driver then got their luggage out of the back as Alison led them to the door. The woman who answered wasn't how Meredith pictured Derek's grandmother to be at all, Derek had said she was seventy-five and small with Dark hair. But she didn't look old, well, she looked like a grandma, but not an old one.

'Hello Alison dear,' she smiled, hugging Derek's mom close and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

'Margret,' she smiled, hugging her back.

'And my boy Derek.' Margret grinned, kissing his cheek as he placed the luggage on the floor. 'And you must be Meredith?'

'Oh, yeah.' she smiled, before Margret pulled her into a hug too.

'You have a pretty girl here, Derek.'

'I know.' Derek laughed, pressing a hand to Meredith's back.

'Do come in,' she smiled, as they followed her in and into the living room.

Derek immediately sat down in the arm chair in the corner and pulled Meredith into his lap, Alison sitting in the armchair opposite, and his grandmother on the couch.

'How was your journey?'

'Good thanks,' Alison smiled. 'I caught a flight from New York but these two got the train from Hanover.'

'You go to Dartmouth too, I believe?' Margret smiled at Meredith.

'Oh, yes.' she nodded, Derek's hands going around her waist.

'I can't believe I haven't seen you since you started there, Derek.'

'I know.' he nodded.

'Your mom says you seem very happy there.'

'I am. Me and Mark live with two really nice boys, and I'm in two classes with Mer.'

'What did you say they were called Alison... Tim and?'

'Dexter.' His mom nodded.

'Dexter.' his grandmother repeated, scrunching her nose. 'Funny name.'

'He's a funny boy.' Derek laughed.

'Derek!' Meredith laughed, 'That was mean.'

'But true.' Derek smirked.

'I like him.' she pouted.

'Should I be worried or something?' he frowned.

'Maybe.' she giggled.

'Charming.' He rolled his eyes.

'Oh, Derek,' his mom laughed. 'Don't be silly.'

'Dinner should be ready in about five minutes.' Said Margret.

'What are we having?' Asked Derek, his arm around Meredith.

'Chicken and roast potatoes.'

'I hope theres a lot,' Derek laughed. 'This one can eat forever.'

'Derek!' Meredith gasped hitting him lightly.

'You do!' He chuckled.

'Your grandmother doesn't need to know that.' She glared at him.

'Mer I was only joking.' He smiled, squeezing her.

'hmmm.' She groaned, before begrudgingly breaking into a soft smile.

'Shall we sit at the table and I'll get you guys a drink?' His grandmother asked.

'I'll get them Margret,' said Alison. 'You three sit down.'

'Are you sure?' His grandmother looked up.

'Of course. What would everyone like?'

'I'll just have water please.' Said Margret.

'Me too.' Said Derek.

'lemonade for you if we have any, Meredith?'

'Oh, yes please.' Meredith grinned.

'Of course sweetheart.' Derek's mom smiled, turning into the kitchen and his grandmother to stood up.

'Right, the dining table is this way.' She smiled at Meredith.

'okay.' She said, standing up from Derek's lap and following him into the dining room behind Margret. His mom came and placed Meredith and Derek's drinks in front of them as Derek rested his hand on Meredith's thigh. Margret followed Alison back into the kitchen and came back with their dinner. It smelt really good. Like Meredith imagined a grandmothers cooking to smell like. Derek said she was a feeder, always making sure he ate, even if he was already full.

'This looks lovely,' smiled Alison after everything was played up and they were all sat down. 'Thank you.'

'Oh your're welcome dear. And I made a sponge cake for dessert, you young ones need some more meat on your bones.'

'Thanks grandma,' Derek laughed.

'You're welcome, Derek.' She smiled warmly. 'Now who's going to say Grace?'

'You can.' Nodded Derek taking a sip of water.

'Dear Lord we thank you for this food and the blessing of our family. Amen.'

'Amen.' The other three murmured in unison before tucking in.

'So, Meredith I believe you're from Seattle?'

'Oh, yes.' Meredith nodded.

'I've always wanted to go there.' His grandmother sighed. 'I want to see the space needle.'

'Its really cool.' Meredith agreed, and Derek could tell she was really trying to make an effort, and not look shy.

'i went to visit in summer, grandma, you would love the space needle.'

'I'm sure I'll go one day.' Margret smiled. 'So remind me how long the two of you have been together? I feel like I'm out of the loop.'

'about three months.' Grinned Derek. 'It was late June.'

'Ah, I see. I think I just got confused with... what was she called again?' His grandmother turned to Alison.

'Rose.' His mother smiled.

'Ah yes,' she nodded. 'Imogen just called her a flower.'

'She's annoying.' Derek laughed. 'And Rose...' he shook his head. 'She was... not Meredith.' He laughed softly. 'Let's put it that way.'

'Well I'm just glad to see you so happy.' Beamed Alison. 'Both of you.'

'oh. Thanks.' Meredith blushed.

'I second that.' Smiled his grandmother. 'Your father would be happy to see you with such a lovely girl.'

'I know.' Derek nodded. 'He would have loved Mer.'

'He would.' Alison smiled sadly.

'And I don't think I've ever seen you so smiley.' His grandmother chuckled.

'She makes me happy.' Derek shrugged, glancing at his girlfriend who was blushing immensely, reaching to squeeze her hand under the table.

'I believe Lara and Jake are in the opposite of Paradie?' His grandmother sighed, turning to his mother as Derek kissed Meredith quickly.

'Hmmm.' Alison nodded. 'She was very upset the other night.'

'La?' Frowned Derek.

'Yes.' His mother sighed. 'But you must not breathe a word.'

'I won't.' Derek shook his head. 'Why, what's wrong?'

'Oh, well,' His mother turned so she could also explain to Margret. 'It's hers and Jake's last year of Medical school, and Lara's decided she wants to be a paediatrician. Jake was thinking along the same lines originally, but now has decided he wants to go into dermatology.'

'Since when?' Asked Derek.

'I'm not really sure.' His mother signed. 'But the best internship programme for him is in Phoenix, whereas Lara ideally wants to do hers at Sini.'

'She wants to come back to New York?'

'Yep. It's the third best pediateician programme in the country, and if she gets accepted that's where she wants to go, but Jake feels the same about Arizona.'

'That's a long distance.' Margret sighed.

'I don't think Lara's very optimistic about the situation.' His mother admitted.

'What, she thinks they're going to break up?' Derek frowned.

'I think she doesn't know what to think. But I don't think she's feeling very good about it.'

'I always kinda figured those two were forever.' Derek sighed.

'Hmmm.' His mother said quietly. 'He's a lovely boy. But I don't know...'

'Do you think they're gonna break up?' Derek asked his mom.

'I... I don't know.'

'oh.' Said Derek.

'But I don't think she's told any of your sisters apart from Claire so not a word to the other two.'

'Of course.' Derek nodded. 'I like Jake.'

'So do I, sweetheart.' Said Alison. 'But I don't think he's the one.'

'When will Lara find out if she's been accepted into Sini?' Asked Margret.

'It should be by April.'

'so they've got a while.' His grandmother nodded.

'Hmmm,' Alison agreed. 'But its in a limbo stage. Which I don't think Lara wants.'

'yeah.' Sighed Derek. 'What's the point in being together acting like everything's fine if you know in April it's all going to change.'

'I think that's her line of thought.' Agreed his mother.

'Such a shame.' Margret shook her head.

'Yeah.' Nodded Derek, glancing at his girlfriend who hadn't spoken a word, shovelling her food into her mouth.

'Hopefully they'll work it out.' Said Alison. 'But we'll see.'

'How about Claire has she been in touch with Tom at all?'

'Not as far as I'm aware.' Alison shook her head. 'Thank god.'

'Hooefully never again.' Said Derek, resting his hand gently on Meredith's thigh.

'Hmmm.' Alison nodded.

'Imogen's not brought a boy home yet has she?' Margret asked.

'oh, no.' Alison rolled her yes.

'Good.' His grandmother laughed. 'There was no mention of any on the phone.'

'She better not be bringing any home.' Said Derek.

'Mr, Overprotective over here.' His mom laughed.

'Her and Liv have to be at least forty before they have any boys.'

'You sound like your father.' Margret laughed.

'And it's a bit of a double standard.' His mother chuckled. 'Especially when you have Meredith.'

'yes well,' Said Derek, squeezing his still very quiet girlffeid's thigh. 'Thats different.'

'Whatever you say.' his mom laughed.

Meredith he still been quiet after dinner, she'd resumed her place on his lap in the living room and had been nestled into his chest, her arms wrapped around him. His mom and grandmother had assumed she was tired from travelling, and so they'd gone upstairs to go to bed. But he knew his girlfriend too well to know there was something up with her.

'Hey,' he murmured, pulling her to him once she climbed under the covers with him in her shirt and vest pyjamas.

'Hey,' she breathed, wrapping her legs around his own.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She whispered, cuddling into him.

'You seem quiet.'

'I'm fine.' she said, trailing her hand up and down his chest.

'I didn't ask if you were.' He murmured, kissing the top of her head. 'But you reassuring me that you are leads me to think that you're not.'

'You're so annoying.' She said quietly.

'Me? Why?' He laughed, squeezing her.

'You know me too well.'

'I do.' He agreed. 'Now, what's wrong? Is it still Izzie and Cristina?'

'Oh, no.' She breathed. 'They're pissing me off. But I'm not upset about it anymore, they need to get a grip.'

'I see.' Derek laughed softly, rubbing a hand on her back. 'So what's wrong?'

'I... did you really think Lara and Jake were going to be together forever?' She asked, not looking up from her spot on his chest.

'Well, I never think I thought they would be forever. But I never thought they would break up. If that makes sense?'

'Yeah.' She whispered, her hand tightening around his T-Shirt.

'Mer,' he prodded gently. 'What's wrong?'

'nothing.' She shook her head.

'you don get to play that card with me,' he said, pulling her up so She was facing him. 'What's wrong?' He asked, kissing her softly.

'I... What you said... About whats the point if they're just going to break up anyway...'

'yeah?' He frowned.

'Medical school.' She blurted.

'What?' He said, squeezing her tighter.

'Med school... We have to start looking at the end of the year and hen this time next year well be applying and what if... What if you want to stay at Dartmouth and I want to go to Stanford... Or what if I want to stay and you want to go to Harvard... Or Bowdoin... Or Columbia... What if... And then if we're just going to break up anyway are you... Do you not think there's any point? Because I... Do you not think there's any point?' She whimpered, she wasn't crying but her voice was wavering.

'hey, hey hey,' he breathed, pulling for her when she pulled away. 'Mer,' he grabbed her hands and pulled her back to where she was before, and wrapped his arms around her. 'I didn't... Don't worry.'

'how can I not worry when you basically called our relationship pointless?' She gasped.

'I didn't say that.' He shook his head.

'You did!' She protested, beginning to cry.

'hey, Mer don't cry.' he breathed, wiping at her years urgently. 'Baby don't cry.' He whispered as she buried her face in his pyjama t shirt.

'I was talking about Lara.'

'yeah but it's the same for us.' She sniffled.

'no its not.' He blister the top of her head. 'Medical school isn't going to break us up, Mer.'

'It might.' She hiccuped.

'No, it won't.' He said firmly.

'It might.'

'it won't.' He said, lifting her chin up to him. 'Because I'll be wherever you are.'

'Derek,' she breathed, reaching to stroke his cheek as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

'I will. We can look at them together. We'll work some thing out.'

'but what if we go to different ones?'

'Then we cross that bridge won we come to it. But I promise you, it won't break us, Mer.'

'It would be like summer but for four years rather than eight weeks.'

'okay, so A- we don't even know if this is going to happen, because we could end up at the same one or at least in the same city. And B, we made it through summer and we could make it through med school.'

'Derek,' she shook her head.

'Mer I swear, it will be fine.'

'Look at Lara and Jake.'

'Thats Lara and Jake. This is us.' He shrugged.

'What and were diferent?' She mocked.

'yes.' He said simply, to her surprise.

'how?' She whispered.

'Well I know for a start if I was Jake and i knew going to Arizona would mean losing you? I'd be applying for every internship in and around New York possible.'

'You would?' She looked at him hopefully.

'I would.' He nodded.

'I just... I mean... I really... I'm doing med school because my mom always told me I couldn't and I wanted to prove her wrong and... And you... This... I really love you, Der. I... I really really love you and this is for me... I actually really love you. And I dont... I really love you. That's my point.'

'I really love you too.' He said, kissing her in an attempt to slow her down for a minute. 'I love you. Amd I'm not going to leave you for med school.'

'I... So what do we do? Because I don't want us to resent eachother if we end up somewhere we hate.'

'well,' he said, pulling her into a spooning position and kissing her neck softly. 'When we have to start looking, we look together. We look at it for the both of us, and we listen to eachother and we compromise and we work something out.'

'like we're buying a house together.' She giggled as he ran his hand over her stomach.

'yes.' He grinned, turning her head to kiss her. 'Exactly like that.' She smiled and gazed into his eyes. He reached to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, a piercing silence between them. He loved her so much and seeing her so upset broke his heart. He had never really thought about Mer school, or what it meant for them. He just kind of figured they would be together. It was strange, he couldn't really picture doing anything without meredith anymore. It sounded absolutely crazy because he was so young and this was Merediths first ever relationship but he really thought she was the one. Woah. He just actually thought that. In his head.

'I love you.' She breathed, 'and your know...whe you said... You said you never actively thought they were going to be together forever but you never thought they would break up?'

'Yeah.' He nodded, pressing his lips to hers.

'That was like me with us.' She stammered. 'I guess I never... I know we say forever and stuff but I never actually thought about it...properly... But I never... Never thought we would break up. Ever.'

'Hmmmm,' he breathed, supping her cheek softly.

'but I... We're already talking about med school, Der. That's a big thing.'

'it it.' He agreed.

'And we... Doing it together.'

'we are.'

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too. And I promie, we aren't pointless. And we won't break up for med school.'

'you promise?' She whispered.

'I promise you.' He kissed her gently, before pushing his tongue gently into her welcoming mouth.

'Love you.'

'love you.' He whispered into her mouth.

'I really love you.' She giggled, rolling on top of him.

'I really love you too.' He grinned, pushing her hair out of her face.

'Are you feeling okay now?'

'yes.' She kissed him. 'No.'

'No?' He chuckled, as she was grinning.

'I wish we could have sex.' She purred, moving to kiss his neck.

'We can,' he breathed, his hands moving up her legs to rest on her ass.

'no, we can't.' She whispered, sucking as his neck.

'I don't know if you noticed nut there's a lock on the door.' He smirked.

'That doesn't make it soundproof, Der.' She giggled, moving to suck on his bottom lip.

'We could be quiet.' He moaned against her lips, tightening his grip on her ass and pushing her into him.

'We ruled out sex at your moms because we can't be quiet.' She giggled.

'We've had more practice now,' he whispered, sucking at her neck. 'I think we could do it. It could be fun.'

'Quiet sex.' She giggled. 'I think we need to have a strategy to keep quiet.'

'Biting?' He grinned.

'biting.' She laughed.

'Kissing,' he breathed, kissing her hard.

'Lots of kissing.' She nodded, returning the kiss with equal passion.

'More kissing I say.' He moaned into her mouth.

'Love you so much.' She whispered.

'I love you too.'

'So quiet sex?' She beamed.

'Quiet sex.' He nodded. 'Let me lock the door.'

'Kay.' She grinned, kissing him quickly before he got off the bed.

'Come here,' he murmured, pulling her close to him after rejoining her once the door was locked.

'Hmmm...' she smiled against his lips as he kissed her softly.

'Love you.'

'Love you too.' She breathed, rolling on top of him. 'Do you think you can be quiet if I suck you?' She grinned micheviously.

'Fuck.'

'Is that a no?' She giggled.

'No, no,' he breathed, tightening his grip around her. 'Please. Please Mer..'

'You're hot when you beg.' She purred, dipping her tongue into his mouth.

'Fuck.'

'Quiet, remember.' She breathed, shuffling down his body to slip his pants down his hips.

'Quiet,' he nodded as he felt her take his dick into her hands. 'Fuck.'

'Shhhh,' she giggled, leaning up to kiss him. She licked at his shaft, kissing it and squeezing it, as his hands found her hair. 'You taste good.' She licked her lips.

'Fuck..' he gasped quietly, thrusting his hips so his dick pushed against her lips.

'Be patient baby.' She giggled, licking at him again.

'please...' he whispered.

'Okay.' She smiled, taking him fully into her mouth.

'Oh...' he breathed, feeling her warmth and wet around him. 'Baby...'

'Hmmmm...' she purred as she began deep throating him.

'Fuck... so good...'

'Shhh...'

'Mer...' he breathed, feeling his cock twitching inside her tiny mouth. He watched she took him all and was killing himself trying not to moan. She was so good. His girlfriend was so fucking good in bed.

She pressed a kiss to the head of his dick before leaning up and taking off her pyjama top. Her breasts revealed, showing her pert nipples and he almost came at the sight. Meredith had to be the sexiest girl he had ever seen.

'Fuck..' he whimpered, reaching for his cock.

'no,' she shook her head, moving up his body. 'That's mine.'

'Yours...' he breathed.

'All mine.' She kissed him deeply. 'Now take my shorts off.'

'Yes.' He nodded eagerly, pushing her shorts down her legs and latching his mouth onto one of her nipples.

'Baby.. oh...' she gasped.

'Shhhh...'

'oh...' she breathed, holding his face to her breast, her fingers in his hair. 'Can.. can I ride you?' She said breathlessly.

'Fuck yes.'

'Can you be quiet?'

'I can do this.' He replied, moving to suck her other nipple.

'Oh...' she mewed in pleasure. 'Condoms?

'Yeah.' He said, quickly grabbing one from the bedside. 'They'll be going to church on Sunday morning, so I thought we could sneak some time in then.'

'Definitely.' She breathed, kissing him deeply as she rolled the common down him.

'fuck. I want you.'

'I want you too.' She whispered.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Ride me.' He breathed, as she slammed her hips down on him, gasping as he filled her. She rode him slowly, their eyes locked as her arms were around his neck. The pace was torturous, she felt so good and she looked so fucking sexy above him. He loved her. And he never wanted this to end.

'Fuck...' she whispered, as she began to move faster.

'oh!' His head went back until she brought it back to hers, kissing him deeply as she rode him faster and harder. It was desperate. They rocked against each other in a frenzy, their tongues duelling and their mouths masking each others moans. Somehow it made it sexier not being able to make noise. There was the occasional whimper and Meredith was shutting her eyes fiercely in an attempt to remain quiet, while contracting her walls around him delightfully. His hands cupped her breasts and teased her nipples as she fucked him faster, the end coming fast for both of them.

'Come.' He whispered, before returning to their passionate kiss.

'you.. you too... oh I'm close...' she replied.

'baby...'

'fuck...'

'shhhh...'

'oh!' He felt her coming around him and couldn't help but do the same. She relaxed against his chest, both of them panting. His hands roamed her body lazily, cherishing the moment as they both came down. She snuggled into his chest and kissed it.

'Fuck..' he whispered.

'That was hot.' She said breathlessly.

'So fucking hot.'

'I love you so much.' She whispered.'

'I love you too.' He kissed her.

'Thank you for being you.' She smiled.

'You're welcome I guess.' He laughed.

'i really love you.'

'you too.' He kissed her.

'Thank you for getting me away from Izzie and Cristina.'

'Youre welcome.' He smiled, tracing her cheek with his finger. 'All I want to do is make you happy.'

'You do.' She whispered, kissing him gently. 'You make me so happy.'

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	47. Chapter 48

_Hi guys! Thank you for all the really nice reviews on the last chapter, they really made my day so thank you so much. I hope you like this chapter, and I'll try and update again soon!_

The last few days had been perfect, Meredith concluded. After her initial freak out on Friday night, things had been absolutely totally perfect. They had stayed at his grandmothers Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night, and she was really nice. She wondered how Derek had ended up with such nice family compared to hers, although he assured her some of their extended relatives weren't quite as friendly. They'd been around Boston together, buying Lara's scarf and wine which they later gift wrapped and gave to Alison to take back home with her. They'd walked around all the shops and he'd bought her endless amounts of snacks, but neither of them bought anything proper. The Saturday night, Derek's Aunt and Uncle came round for dinner, and they too, were really nice.

Plus, they'd managed to have sex. The Friday night they attempted to be quiet, which they assumed they had succeeded in due to a lack of comment from his mother, which Derek was certain would happen if they had been heard. And so the Saturday night they had attempted to be quiet as she gave him a blow job and he had licked her out.

Derek was right about the Sunday morning too, his mom and Margret left the house at nine and were gone two hours, which meant they didn't even need to try and be quiet. Derek was amazing in bed. The more she thought about how good her boyfriend actually was in bed, the more she wondered what she ever saw in most of the frat boys she picked up at parties. Derek was definitely a giver and made her come so many times before he took her for himself, and he was always so loving and careful with her. Unless she wanted it rough of course, then he obliged.

She was leant against him in the back of Mark's car, and she slipped her hand to his upper thigh, suddenly wanting him again. She reached up and pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. Having Derek fuck her sounded like a much better idea than confronting her friends after their fight. It was one, and her and Derek didn't have bio until four, that was three hours. Surely they didn't need three hours to make up… so sex with Derek. Definitely sex with Derek.

'Get off him.' Said Mark as Meredith moved to kiss Derek on the lips.

'Fuck off, Mark.' Groaned Derek, pulling Meredith closer to him.

'You're not fucking in my back seat.'

'We're not.' Meredith giggled, kissing her boyfriend again.

'Good. We're less than five minutes away from your apartment, Grey. Have some self control.'

'I cant help I'm irresistible.' Derek smirked, as Meredith rolled her eyes at him, yet still kissing him deeply.

'Yeah, well, I'm gonna be asking mom if she heard any suspicious noises.' Said Mark, turning down Meredith's street.

'Shut up.' Derek groaned.

'Seriously.' Mark nodded. 'I have a theory.'

'And what's that?' Derek frowned, his arm tightening around Meredith's waist.

'You two fuck like bunnies.' He said bluntly.

'Says you.' Laughed Derek.

'Hey, man. At least I have sex at appropriate times. You two, you two just do it everywhere.'

'Shut up, you're just jealous Derek's getting more than you.' Meredith giggled as her hand trailed over Derek's crotch.

'He will never be getting more than me.'

'I think I am.' Smirked Derek as the car pulled up.

'Right, you out before he sticks it in you.' Mark said to Meredith.

'Let me just get her stuff out the back.' Said Derek, getting out with her.

'Do you want to come in?' Meredith breathed, pushing herself up against him, kissing him hard.

'Yes…' he moaned into her mouth, his arms going straight to her ass. 'But you have to talk to your friends.'

'Der…' she pouted. 'I want you.'

'I want you too. But later.'

'Later?' she purred, moving her hands down the front of his jeans as she nibbled on his bottom lip. 'I can't wait until later.'

'Well that's going to be a problem for you.' He laughed.

'Der…' she pouted. 'I'm horny… please…'

'Fuck…' he whispered, kissing her.

'I want you.'

'Mer…' he whispered, pulling away. 'After.'

'Kay.' She sighed dramatically pulling away from him.

'Hey, come here,' he laughed, pulling her back to him and kissing her pouting lips. 'I love you.'

'Love you too.' She whispered. 'Thank you.'

'For what?' he chuckled.

'Taking me away from Meredith and Cristina. This weekend was perfect. I love you.'

'I love you too.' He breathed, kissing her again before she cuddled into his chest. 'Do you want me to make us dinner after class?'

'Yes please.' She nodded into his shirt. 'Bio's at four.'

'So I'll meet you there and we'll decide what to do after later.'

'Yeah.'

'Okay.' He kissed the top of her head, pulling away gently.

'Hey,' she pouted, hugging him back to her, burying her head in his neck. He felt so strong around her and she didn't think there was a time she ever felt safer than when she was in his arms. She moved to face him, her arms still around his neck and kissed him softly. 'Now you can go.'

'I can?' he laughed.

'Yes.' She smiled, kissing him again.

'Okay. Call me if you need me.'

'I will.' She nodded as he pressed his lips against hers. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.' He grinned as he kissed her a final time, before she picked her bag up off the floor and he rejoined Mark in the car. She sighed as he drove away and started up the stairs to her apartment, she wasn't looking forward to seeing either of them, and had turned her cell off once her and Derek had arrived in Boston to avoid them pissing her off.

She pushed the door open and slung her bag on the couch. 'Hey,' she called, walking over to the fridge to pour herself a glass of orange juice.

'Hey Mer.' Grinned Cristina, coming out of her bedroom, followed by Izzie.

'Oh, hi.' She smiled, taken a back by the grins on their faces, she was expecting more moodier expressions.

'Hi.' Izzie beamed.

'Hi…' Meredith responded, unable to read their behaviour.

'So did you have a good trip?' asked Cristina, gesturing for her to sit down on the couch.

'Yeah, it was good, thanks.' Nodded Meredith, sitting down.

'Good. Did you and Derek have a good time?'

'Yeah…' she breathed, confused. Cristina never normally asked about Derek. Ever.

'Can I get you a snack or anything, Mer?' asked Izzie, moving into the kitchen area.

'No, I'm good thanks.' She shook her head. 'So… about the other day,' she began tentatively.

'Oh,' said Cristina, waving her hand. 'Forget it. We were out of order.'

'Really out of order.' Nodded Izzie. 'We're really sorry.'

'Oh…' frowned Meredith, this was definitely not the reaction she was expecting. 'Okay…'

'So lets just forget it.' Izzie laughed.

'…Okay…'

'Your hair looks really good.' Nodded Cristina.

'Okay, what is going on?' said Meredith, beyond confused.

'What?' both her friends said in unison.

'You two, you're being weird.'

'No we're not.' Laughed Cristina.

'Yes, you are.' Meredith frowned. 'You're being way too nice.'

'No we're not.' Cristina shook her head.

'Yes you are. Izzie…. Okay so maybe Izzie is sometimes this nice but you have never been this nice, ever. You're being weird.'

'I'm always nice.'

'Cristina, you just asked me about Derek, complimented my hair, and brushed over a huge fight. That is being weird. Especially for you. What is going on?'

'Nothings going on.' Cristina frowned, looking at Izzie.

'Nothing.' She agreed, nodding.

'Something is definitely going on.'

'Nothing's going on.' Izzie insisted, shaking her head as the buzzer rang. 'That's Alex.' She said, standing up to answer the door.

'Cristinna cut the crap.' Said Meredith flatly, her friend was being really fucking weird.

'I'm not.' Her friend shrugged as Alex came through the door.

'Yo you giving us tickets?' he asked Meredith as he flung himself on the couch, grinning.

'Tickets?' Meredith frowned.

'Alex.' Hissed Izzie, shooting him a look.

'What?' he frowned. 'Oh, have you not asked her yet?'

'Asked me what?' cut in Meredith before Izzie could reply.

'Nothing.' Izzie shook her head.

'Asked me what?' she repeated looking at Cristina. She got no answer, the three of them sat there in an awkward silence. 'What?' she asked again, standing with her hands on her hips. 'What? And what tickets?'

'You know….' Nodded Cristina.

'No? I don't know.'

'You know…' said Izzie.

'No? I don't fucking know!' said Meredith. 'What do you want tickets for and why are you asking me? I don't have tickets for anything.'

'Dude. We all know.' Said Alex.

'Know what?' said Meredith, exasperated.

'About the tickets.'

'What tickets?'

'For Wednesday.'

'Wednesday?' she frowned.

'Yeah, we know you get five because she's your mom.'

'What?' Meredith froze. Her Mom.

'Wait- do you not know?' breathed Izzie.

'No.' she shook her head which was beginning to fill with panic. 'What the fucks going on?'

'Your mom's holding a speech at the med school on Wednesday and apparently only you and four friends are allowed to go, no other pre-meds.'

'What?' she breathed. 'My mother's coming on Wednesday? Here? To Dartmouth?' she spluttered. This could not be happening.

'She's already here.' Frowned Izzie.

'Jeez have you been ignoring everyone on your cell or just us.' Laughed Cristina.

'I… I haven't had it turned on…' she stammered. 'So… my mom's here…?'

'Yeah. She's here all week.' Nodded Izzie.

'What? No…' Meredith breathed. This was not good. This was definitely not good. In fact, this was possibly the worst thing possible. Her mom was bad enough as it was, without her breathing down her neck at school, talking about her to her professors, inspecting her friends, and Derek- crap, Derek. Her mom had no idea about her and Derek, no idea at all. And he thought she'd bitten the bullet and told her. And now she was here…. This was not happening.

'Yeah,' Izzie nodded.

'Crap…' Meredith breathed, tears stinging her eyes.

'She came round before looking for you.' Grinned Cristina.

'What?' Meredith's eyes widened, loads of Derek's stuff was in her room. Hell, he had a whole drawer in there, and her bathroom was full of his stupid hair products. 'Did she go in my room? Where did you say I was?'

'I can't believe I actually spoke to the queen of surgery,' Cristina grinned. 'I feel like I made an ass of myself, she's so-'

'Cristina!' Meredith snapped.

'What?'

'Where did you say I was?'

'Out.' Her friend shrugged.

'Out?' Meredith breathed, panic overtaking her.

'Yes, I said you were out.'

'You didn't say where I was?' she clarified, beginning to pace.

'No.' Cristina frowned. 'She didn't really give me chance.'

'What did she say?' she demanded.

'Not much. Just asked where you were and then when I said you were out she said you'd been ignoring her calls and she'd find you later.'

'Crap.' Meredith breathed, her head in her hands as she continued to pace. 'Crap. Crap. Crap.'

'Mer, you need to chill.'

'Chill?' Meredith hissed. 'You….' She trailed off. 'She definitely didn't go into my room?'

'No, she didn't even come inside. I offered to make her a drink and she declined.'

'Can you stop fangirling over her for a minute?' Meredith snapped.

'Sorry.' Cristina shrugged, turning to Izzie for help. 'She's only like my idol but whatever.'

'Yeah, well she's my mom. And this is horrible.'

'Mer, she can't be that bad.' Said Izzie in an attempt to comfort her.

'Can I put Derek's stuff in your room?'

'What?' breathed Izzie.

'Derek's stuff, can I put it in your room?'

'Sure…' Izzie nodded, confused. 'Why?'

'Thanks.' Nodded Meredith, rushing into her room. She'd never realised how much of Derek's stuff was actually here. She pulled her bottom drawer out and literally walked into Izzie's room with it as her friends followed.

'Mer…' began Izzie.

'Why does he have so much crap here…' she muttered under her breath, going back into her room and picking up his cologne from her bed side table, before moving into her bathroom and grabbing his toothbrush and all his bottles from her cupboard. 'Can I just put all this in the bathroom?'

'Sure.' Izzie nodded. 'But don't you think….'

'What?' she snapped, as she placed all of Derek's things next to Alex's.

'Why do you need to move his stuff?' Cristina said flatly.

'Because my mom doesn't know.' Meredith replied in the same tone, walking back into her room and picking up all the odd bits that belonged to Derek.

'About Brain boy?'

'Yes, Derek.'

'Wait I thought you told her?' Izzie frowned.

'Yeah well, I lied.' She smiled sarcastically, shoving what was in her hands into a bag.

'So she has no idea you have a boyfriend?' Izzie clarified.

'No.' she said, picking up what had now become Derek's pillow and shoved his pyjamas into the bag.

'Will she really go that mad?'

'Yes.' She replied shortly, picking up the framed picture of them on her bed side table which she'd only gotten printed the week before and putting it too, in the bag. 'Can you see anything else?' she turned to her three friends, who were all stood confused, in her doorway.

'No.' said Cristina.

'His shoes are there.' Pointed out Alex.

'Crap,' she sighed, reaching for them. 'Thanks.'

'Don't you think you're being a bit drastic?' frowned Cristina.

'No. You don't know my mom.' She replied, making her bed quickly and picking up the mess around it. 'Does this look tidy?'

'For you, yeah.' Izzie nodded.

'Good.' She breathed, before the tears stung her eyes again. A visit from her mother was really not what she needed right now. 'What the fuck is she even doing here anyway?' she slumped on her bed.

'Conferences.' Said Izzie, sitting next to her.

'Apparently she's doing a surgery at the Royal on Thursday.' Said Cristina, unable to hide her smile. 'That's what she's talking about on Wednesday.'

'Can't she just fuck off and do a surgery somewhere else.'

'Mer,' breathed Izzie. 'She's your mom.'

'Yeah and you don't fucking know her.' She groaned.

'Do you think we'll get to meet her properly?' asked Cristina. 'I mean, I know we met her before but like…'

'Sure.' Meredith shrugged. 'I'd rather you talk to her than me.'

'Mer, you don't mean that.' Said Izzie, looking to Cristina and Alex for back up.

'I do.' Meredith groaned. 'I just… I feel like I'm myself here and she's going to come and urugh….'

'You do realise how popular this is gonna make you though, right?' said Alex.

'I don't care about being popular.' Meredith countered. 'But she's going to talk bad about me to my professors and….'

'She's not.' Izzie shook her head. 'You're doing really great in your classes.'

'Not great enough.' She sighed. 'Fuck, why is she here?' she breathed, fighting back tears. 'And for a whole week!'

'Well, five days.' Smiled Izzie.

'Five days too long.'

'Maybe it wont be as bad as you think?'

'Izzie, seriously, I know you're trying to make me feel better or whatever, but just let me be pissed, okay?'

'Okay.' Her friend nodded. 'Why don't you check your cell and see if she left you a message?'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded, reaching into her pocket, as Cristina and Alex also came and sat on the bed. 'Crap, there's two messages.' She sighed, before shaking her head. 'I'm not listening to them.' An awkward look passed between her two friends as she held her phone in her hands. 'I'm just going to call her.'

'Good idea.' Izzie nodded.

'I don't… what do I say about not replying to her calls?'

'Tell her the truth and say you've had it switched off all weekend.' Said Alex.

'But where do I say I was?'

'Can't you say you went to visit Sadie?' Izzie suggested.

'Yeah…' Meredith nodded. 'Yeah that's a good idea.' She took a deep breath before dialling her mothers number.

'It's better to call her than have her show up randomly again.' Izzie nodded.

'Yeah.' Meredith breathed. 'Okay, I'm gonna call her.' She said, pressing the call button. As her cell rang she felt her stomach turning, praying she wouldn't pick up. If she didn't pick up than Meredith could at least say she tried to contact her while she was-

'Meredith?' her mom's voice came sharply down the phone.

'Mom,' she breathed, her eyes widening to her friends.

'Where on earth have you been? I called you four times this weekend and you ignored every single one, then when I arrive, you're nowhere to be seen.'

'I know.' Meredith breathed. 'I… I've had my cell turned off all weekend.' She explained. 'I had no idea you were here.'

'And what about this morning?'

'I… I was at the library…' she stammered, changing her mind on the Sadie front. Her mother would probably accuse her of focusing too much on partying with her friend than her studies.

'Hmmmmm.'

'I… how long are you here for?'

'I'm doing conferences today and tomorrow morning, then I'm going to the Royal tomorrow afternoon ahead of my surgery on Thursday.'

'I see.' Meredith bit her lip.

'I believe the faculty have decided to let you come on Wednesday.'

'Oh, yeah. My friends just told me.' She stammerd.

'Why I don't know.' Her mother sighed. 'You haven't earned the privilege above any other pre medical student.'

'Oh…'

'But Marcus said you can bring three friends.'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Hmmmm.'

'Did you have a good flight?' she attempted to be nice.

'Yes.'

'Good.'

'I spoke to your biology professor earlier.'

'Oh…' Meredith breathed, her stomach sinking.

'To my surprise he told me you were actually doing quite well.'

'Oh…'

'But then again you did get below ninety on your last paper so I don't think you're God's gift to medicine just yet.'

'Right.' Meredith breathed.

'I believe you have a class at four?'

'Oh, yeah…' she nodded, knowing her mother would have hunted down her timetable from somewhere.

'I suppose I'll meet you after that and then you can show me this apartment my money is paying for.'

'Right,' Meredith nodded.

'I stopped by earlier, an Asian girl answered the door.'

'Oh, yeah, that was Cristina.' She said as Cristina's eyes widened with delight. 'She's a pre med student too.'

'Will she be coming with you on Wednesday?'

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'My other room mate too, Izzie, and my friend Alex.' She said, watching her friends do a silent cheer and hit eachother with excitement at her words.

'I see.' She could almost sense her mother's unbothered tone. 'Are they focused students?'

'Yes.' Meredith nodded. 'Very.'

'By my standards, not yours?' her mother added.

'Yeah…' she said quietly, feeling the subtle dig. 'I think you'll really like Cristina.'

'Hmmmm. I suppose any one is better than that distraction of a girl Sadie.'

'I like Sadie.' She breathed quietly.

'Hmmmm, exactly.' Her mother replied. 'It speaks volumes. Anyway, I'm going to have to go and get back to Marcus, I suppose I will see you later?'

'Yes.'

'I'll meet you outside your biology class?'

'Yeah.'

'Okay. Bye.'

'Bye.' Meredith breathed into her cell as her mother ended the call.

'Dude!' grinned Alex.

'Thank you Mer!' breathed Izzie, launching herself at Meredith.

'It's okay.' She said awkwardly as Izzie hugged her.

'Ellis Grey knows my name.' laughed Cristina from her position stood at the end of Meredith's bed. 'The Ellis Grey knows my name. My name.'

'Don't get too excited she'll probably forget it.'

'We're seeing her on Wednesday!' Izzie squealed.

'And she's coming round later!' laughed Cristina. 'I know you hate her or whatever Mer, but thank you!'

'No problem,' Meredith sighed. Her mom was coming round tonight which meant that her plans with Derek were ruined, her plans were ruined and he was going to hate her because she was going to have to tell him that her mom didn't know about them. She was dreading seeing him, telling him, watching his eyes fall.

She was tempted to skip bio, but at the same time, that was the worst thing she could do. It would only get her into shit with her mom for skipping class. This whole thing was a mess. Everyone would be talking about it when she got to class and she would have people watching her, whispering. She thought the hype around her mom was over with last year, but apparently she had to turn up and ruin things. She didn't know what to do.

'How do I tell Derek?'

'What? That you chickened out of telling your mom?' Alex raised his eyebrows.

'Don't say it like that.' She whispered, the tears returning to her eyes.

'Just tell him.' Said Izzie. 'I'm sure he'll understand, and he's really smart, so you're mom's going to like him.'

'What? I'm not going to tell her now.' Meredith frowned.

'You're not?'

'No… I… she'll be mad and…'

'So what?' laughed Cristina. 'You're just going to hide him?'

'Yeah I guess…' she breathed.

'Are… are you sure she's going to take it that badly?' asked Izzie. 'I mean, I get she might not be happy or whatever, but do you really need to hide him?'

'I… I don't know…' Meredith shook her head. 'I don't know. She'd only scare him away anyway.'

'You're kidding right?' frowned Cristina. 'He's so into you it's disgusting. He'd probably tell you some gooey shit like nothing could put him off you or whatever.'

'I don't know…' Meredith stammered, wiping at her eyes.

'Maybe leave it for tonight and have a sleep on it.' Smiled Izzie.

'Yeah.' Meredith nodded. 'Yeah.'

'Are you going to cook her dinner?' asked Alex.

'You're kidding right?' Meredith almost laughed.

'Mer can't cook.' Laughed Izzie. 'Do you want me to make something?'

'Could you?' she breathed.

'Sure.' Izzie smiled, hugging her upset friend.

'Thanks Iz.' She whispered.

'No problem.'

'I'm going to tidy up a bit before class, so she has less to complain about.' She wiped at her eye again, standing up.

'I'll help.' Nodded Alex.

'Thanks.' She whispered.

'Me too.' Said Cristina.

'And I'll go get some groceries for dinner. What do you want me to make?'

'Literally anything is fine.' Said Meredith gratefully.

'I could do Chilli with rice?'

'Sounds good.' She nodded.

'Okay, I'll go to the store.'

'Thanks.'

'No problem. I'll see you later.' She smiled, kissing Alex quickly on her way out.

Her, Alex and Cristina tidied the apartment and her room until it looked acceptable and not like it belonged to three untidy girls with two boyfriends. Alex did the dishes and Cristina hoovered the carpet while Meredith dusted. She had a feeling Cristina was only helping in order to make a good impression on her mom, but she didn't really care if it meant she was helping.

When it hit half three her stomach began to turn, she packed her bio textbook in her bag alongside her notepad and picked up her cell. She was kind of expecting a message from Derek, assuming someone had told him about her mom. But there was nothing. She was surprised Mark hadn't said anything to them in the car if everyone knew, knowing him he would have been angling for a ticket.

'I'm gonna go now,' she said, walking back into the living area.

'Okay.' Smiled Izzie who had began preparing something or… whatever it is people do before they cook, in the kitchen.

'I'll see you guys in a couple hours.'

'Okay.'

'I'm so excited.' Grinned Cristina.

'Yeah, well that makes one of us.' She groaned, before heading out the door and walking to campus.

When she reached the lecture hall, she could feel everyone's eyes on her and it was exactly what she had been dreading. She could hear people whispering her name and staring and all she wanted was to find Derek and curl up in his arms. But that was exactly what she couldn't do. Because he was going to hate her. He was actually going to hate her. She could feel her eyes stinging, she couldn't cry. Not here and not now. She couldn't cry. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop her tears falling and breathed a sigh of relief as people started going in. There was no sign of Derek yet and she didn't know whether to feel good or bad about that. She walked in with everyone else and sat down, in between two groups of girls, not saving her boyfriend a seat. Hopefully, she could race out at the end and avoid him. This was really messed up.

She glanced around as there was only a minute until class started when she saw Derek and Tim walk in. She turned her head quickly, not to meet his eye, because A he'd be wondering why she didn't save him a seat, and B he'd be able to tell instantly that she was upset. Damn him and his boyfriend-y-ness.

She saw him take an empty seat with Tim near the front before he glanced back at her, smiling. Why was he smiling. She'd purposefully not saved him a seat and he was smiling at her. She smiled back, unable to resist his eyes. He knew about her mom. She could tell. Everyone knew about her fucking mom.

'Settle down,' laughed professor Kalkeld. 'I know Dr. Grey's visit has you all excited, but we have to go through the content of your next assignment.'

The whole class groaned, but Meredith felt relieved as the topic of conversation turned from her mom to the upcoming paper they had to write. She didn't listen to a word Dr. Kalkeld was saying. The whole hour she just sat there, fidgeting with her pen and thinking about how quickly she could run out of there before Derek caught up to her. When the girls on either side of her began to put their books away, she snapped out of her daze, realising it was time to go. She shoved her stuff in her bag and pushed past everyone, racing out of the hall to the corridor where her mother was waiting.

'Meredith.'

'Mom,' she smiled awkwardly, looking behind her to see everyone stopping, staring as Ellis Grey was casually in front of them. She had to get her mom out of here before Derek came out and introduced himself in a gentlemanly manner which she knew he would do. 'Let's go.'

'In a rush?' her mom raised her eyebrows, following Meredith down the hall.

'No,' she shook her head. 'I just… Izzie's made us dinner and I said we would be there straight after class.'

'Izzie is your room mate?' her mom asked as they continued out the building.

'Yes.' Meredith nodded. 'She's really nice.'

'Izzie and Cristina.' Her mom nodded, as if reminding herself.

'Yeah.'

'How was class?'

'Good.' Meredith nodded.

'Dr. Kalkeld is an extremely good professor from what I've heard.'

'Yes, I really like him.' She breathed.

'He seems impressed with you.'

'He… he's really nice.'

'So why was your cell turned off this weekend?' her mother asked.

'Oh.. I fell out with my friends so I just wanted some space.'

'Izzie and Cristina?' Ellis frowned.

'Yeah, but it was nothing really. Now I think about it I was over reacting.' She said quickly, in order to avoid her mom asking what the fight was about.

'Hmmm, as usual. I pity them having to deal with your irrational behaviour.'

'Yeah…' Meredith said quietly as they reached the end of campus.

They walked in pretty much silence until they reached the apartment, and Meredith knew her friends would help her in the conversation department, hell, Cristina probably wouldn't shut up.

'Hey,' she called as she walked in, her mother behind her.

'Dr. Grey,' Cristina grinned, rushing over as Izzie was plating up their food. 'Can I take your coat?'

'Thank you.' Ellis nodded, shrugging her black coat of and handing it to Cristina. 'You must be Cristina.'

'Yes Ma'm.' her friend nodded eagerly.

'Well, this is surprisingly tidy,' Ellis remarked, dismissing Meredith's friend and looking around the apartment. 'Are you sure you live here?' she attempted to joke.

'Yeah,' Meredith laughed nervously.

'And you two must be Izzie and Alex?'

'Yes.' Izzie grinned.

'Hmmm, Meredith, can I use your lavatory?'

'Of course, it's the room to the right and my bathroom is on the left.'

'Thank you.' Her mother nodded, going into her room.

'Oh my god!' Cristina squealed.

'Don't.' Meredith shook her head, digging her cell out of her bag. A missed call from Derek. And a text message.

'Did you talk to Derek?' Izzie asked quietly.

'No,' Meredith shook her head. 'He was late so we didn't sit together.'

 _-Everything okay? I heard about your mom. I love you X_

Why was he so perfect? She thought to herself. Why was her boyfriend so fucking perfect. It made her feel like crap when she knew she had to tell him she hadn't told her mom about them. She typed a quick reply _Yeah, I'll speak to you tomorrow about it. She's come over for dinner, I'm sorry about our plans. Love you X_

 _-No problem. I love you too X_

Fuck. She sighed as her mom came back from her room and slipped her cell into her pocket.

'Can I get you a drink, Doctor Grey?' Alex offered as her mom sat down at the table with them.

This was awful. This was actually awful. Her mind couldn't stop drifting to Derek. He was the only one who actually listened to her about her mom, and comforted her when she felt like crap. Yet he was the only person she couldn't turn to right now because her mom would kill her for finding out she had a boyfriend this way, and she was pretty sure Derek was going to hate her anyway once he knew.

She wondered how such a perfect weekend had turned into the worst imaginable day. Tonight, Derek was supposed to cook for her and then they were going to have sex. Really, really, good sex. And now, she was sat at a table with her mom and fangirl roommates who just didn't get why she felt like such shit. She blinked back her tears as she ate Izzie's food, listening to her mom drone on about whatever it was she was talking about wishing she'd just had the courage to tell her mom about Derek when she'd had the chance.

 _Thank you for reading! Pleaseeeee review X_


	48. Chapter 49

_Thank you so much for reading and to the people who review!_

Mark was sprawled on the couch when Derek came out of his room, Tim and Dexter sat at the breakfast table. He walked over to the refrigerator, getting out the carton of orange juice, it was ten am and Meredith hadn't been in touch. He was worried about her, he knew her relationship with her mother was volatile and that her visit would not have gone down well with his girlfriend. She'd be upset, especially after the way she hurried out of class the day before.

'Yo,' Said Tim, eating an apple.

'Hey,' sighed Derek, sitting opposite him.

'Has Mer been in touch?' asked Dexter.

'Nope, sorry.' Derek shook his head, knowing the real reason his friends were asking was because of the infamous tickets his girlfriend had for her mothers talk on Wednesday.

'Dude, she's not going to give you one.' Groaned Mark from the couch. 'Me, maybe, but not you.'

'She might not give one to any of you.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Dude if she was as pissed at Izzie and Cristina as you said she was, those tickets are totally coming our way.' Tim grinned.

'She was supposed to make up with them yesterday,' Derek laughed. 'Don't get your hopes up.'

'Surely you can put a good word in for us though.' Tim winked.

'I'll try.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'What's she said about her Royal Highness's visit?'

'Not much.' Derek sighed.

'She not call you after class?' Tim frowned.

'Nope. Her mom was at her apartment, so I'm assuming she had her hands full. I've left my chemistry book in her room though, so I'm going to go and pick it up before class and see how she is.'

'Good idea.' Tim nodded. 'They don't get on do they?'

'Mer and her mom?'

'Yeah.'

'No.' Derek sighed. 'They don't.'

'What Mer and Ellis Grey?' said Mark, standing up from the couch and joining the three of them at the table.

'Yeah.' Said Derek, checking the time on his watch. 'I'm guessing Mer's a bit stressed.'

'That sucks.'

'Yeah.'

'I still can't believe she's Ellis Grey's daughter.'

'I know, I think I forgot.' Laughed Tim.

'You'll be havin Ellis Grey's grandbabies,' teased Mark. 'They'll be medically royal.'

'Shut up.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Yeah, you have to invite us to yours and Mer's wedding.' Joked Tim. 'That way we can get a picture without looking crazy.'

'I'm leaving now.' Derek laughed, ignoring his friends' comments.

'Okay. Let us know.' Said Tim.

'I will, but I highly doubt it.' Derek shook his head.

'Let us know anyway.'

'Of course.' He nodded, shutting the door behind him. He made his way to Meredith's apartment, he had no idea if she would be there or not, she hadn't replied to his message. He nipped into the store on campus and headed for the candy aisle, Meredith had some weird obsession with cola bottle candies when she was upset, so he grabbed her two packets of those, a tub of strawberry ice cream and picked up a bunch of flowers. The least he could do was try and make her feel a little better about the situation, and let her comfort eat her troubles away as per.

As he approached her apartment he tried calling her again, no answer. He sighed. He needed his text book anyway, and he could leave her food with a note so it could cheer her up later. Letting himself into the empty apartment with the spare key she had given him, he immediately noted how clean and tidy it was, she'd obviously cleared up for her mom. Wary of the ice cream in his bag, he headed to the freezer and put it on her shelf before putting the rest of her goodies on the counter. There was a magnetic notepad on the front of the refrigerator, so he tared a piece of paper off and pulled a pen out of his bag.

 _Thought you might need a bit of cheering up. I have chemistry until three but I'll see you later? Ice cream in the freezer._

 _Love you X_

He grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water and then her flowers, picking up her candy and heading into her room. He placed the flowers, candy and note on her bedside table, surprised when he saw the picture of them was gone. He glanced around, to see if she'd moved it somewhere else, but there was no sign. His chemistry book, if he remembered correctly was on her windowsill, alongside her books. He scanned the pile of books and frowned when it wasn't there, it should have been on the top, right above hers. But it wasn't.

There weren't many other places it could be, the floor had been ridded of all her dirty laundry assumedly to impress her mother, and he could see it wasn't there. It wasn't on her bookshelf that she actually used for her DVDs. And it wasn't next to her bed. There was a shelf in the top of her closet where she sometimes shoved stuff, so maybe it was there. He opened it up and searched the shelf, again, no sign of his book. As he stood there in contemplation, he also realised nothing of his was in her closet. They had an underwear shelf each, granted his was less full than hers, but still, he kept some of his boxers here, especially those that ended up in hr laundry, but there were none. None of his socks on her socks shelf. None of his hoodies or T-shirts hung up. And the pair of jeans he'd left there last week weren't there either.

Moving into her bathroom he instantly noticed there was only one toothbrush. Pink. In her cupboards, all of his stuff had disappeared. His hair products, cologne, shaving gel, everything. The more he looked around her room the more stuff he noticed was gone. Almost as if she'd dumped him and returned his stuff without him knowing. Nothing was there. Literally nothing he owned was in her room.

He didn't really know what to think. Maybe if she was returning his calls things would make more sense. But he felt like he was oblivious to whatever was going on. He scrolled down his cell contacts and stopped at her name, sighing when once again, his call rang out.

What the fuck was going on with her? Ignoring his calls. Avoiding him. Apparently disposing of his things. He was going to have to go back to his dorm and borrow Mark's textbook because she'd done whatever she'd done with his. And so he'd probably be late to class.

He picked up his bag and made his way out of the apartment, angry. He knew her mom made her anxious but there was no way she could make his girlfriend act this weird, surely? It was just plain irrational and unexplainable.

'Thought you were going out?' frowned Mark as he walked back into his dorm.

'Yeah, well I was.' He snapped, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

'What rattled your cage?' Dexter raised his eyebrows.

'Can I borrow your textbook?'

'Sure.' He shrugged. 'I thought you were picking yours up.'

'It's not in her room. None of my fucking stuff is in her room.'

'What?' frowned Mark.

'My stuff. None of it's there.'

'None of it?' clarified Dexter.

'Literally none of it. No clothes, my toothbrush, none of my fucking stuff.'

'What's she done with it?'

'Fuck knows because she's ignoring my calls.'

'Shit.' Breathed Dexter.

'I'm sure it's fine.' Said Mark, uncharacteristically optimistically. 'You said last night her mom makes her weird.'

'Not this weird.' He groaned. 'I don't know what's going on.'

'What you gonna do?' Said Dexter, passing him a beer.

'I can't,' Derek shook his head. 'I've got class.'

'It's literally going to start in one minute.' Said Mark. 'I think you're a bit late.'

'Fuck it,' Derek sighed, nodding to Dexter in acceptance of the beer.

'So, what are you gonna do?' asked Mark, taking a beer from Dexter himself.

'I don't know. I feel like I cant be mad at her because I don't actually know what's going on with her until I've spoken to her.'

'True.' Dexter nodded.

'I mean, for all I know, she could be so upset about her mom that she's panicking or whatever.'

'Not to burst your bubble but I don't get why that would make your stuff disappear.' Cut in Mark.

'I know.' Derek sighed honestly. 'I know.'

'I don't think we can really say anything until you've spoken to her.' Said Dexter.

'Yeah.' He breathed, taking a swig of his beer.

'Fucking weird.' Said Mark.

'Hmmmm.' Derek nodded. 'I might go over tonight and see what's up.'

'Have you seen her mom yet?' asked Dexter.

'Nope.' Derek sighed. 'Apparently she was outside class yesterday but Mer dragged her off before I got out.'

'And she's like really famous in the medical world?'

'Yeah, probably the most famous surgeon in the world right now.'

'Fuck. I knew people talked about her but I didn't realise she was actually that much of a big deal.'

'Everyone's talking about it.' Nodded Mark. 'You'll have to tell us all about her talk on Wednesday.'

'Obviously.' Said Derek.

'Fuck man, Ellis Grey.' Mark shook his head. 'How did you bag Ellis Grey's daughter.'

'I don't know.' He laughed.

'What are you going to say to her?'

'Yeah, how you gonna play it?' asked Dexter.

'No idea.' He murmured, taking another drink. 'Not too much, I get the impression she's very overwhelming. So just be polite but not talk too much really.'

'Need to get that stamp of approval.' Smirked Mark.

'Fucking her little girl.' Dexter teased.

'Shut up it sounds paedophilic when you say that.' He laughed reluctantly.

'For real, meeting the mom is like serious.'

'Not really,' Derek frowned, 'She met mine ages ago.'

'Dude, our mom sounds like a dream compared to hers.' Laughed Mark.

'True.'

'And I think it's a bigger deal foe the girls parents.' Said Dexter. 'I don't know why.'

'Probably because their parents are more protective or whatever.' Shrugged Mark.

'Have you ever met a girls mom?' Dexter laughed.

'Has he fuck.' Chuckled Derek.

'You never had a girlfriend?'

'No.' Mark shook his head.

'Never?'

'Never.'

'Don't think he ever will.' Teased Derek.

'Fuck off Mr Whipped.'

'Whipped?' laughed Derek.

'Dude, you are whipped.' Said Dexter.

'I am not whipped.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'Oh, you so are.' Said Mark.

'I am so not.' He mimicked.

'Literally, if she asked you to…. I don't know… anything she'd ask you to do, you'd do it.'

'Because I love her, not because I'm whipped.'

'Ohhhhh!' Dexter and Mark burst out laughing. 'You loooove her…' grinned Dexter.

'When you meet her mom, don't lead with the fact you want to marry her, okay.'

'Fuck off.' Laughed Derek.

'Do you actually?' asked Dexter.

'What?'

'Meredith. Marry her?'

'I have never said that.' Derek laughed shaking his head.

'Yeah but do you want to?' Dexter smirked.

'No comment.'

'He totally does!' laughed Mark.

'No, I don't.' he rolled his eyes.

'Oh dude, you so do.'

'I've only been with her a few months. Calm down.'

'You're the one that needs to calm down.' Teased Mark.

'I can see it happening.' Dexter nodded.

'What? Me and Meredith?' Derek raised his eyebrows.

'Yup. Married. Babies. The lot.'

'Fuck off.' Derek laughed.

'I can! I know it's early days, but that's what I put my money on.'

'Hmmmm, you could be right.' Said Mark.

'I am.' Dexter nodded. 'I'll bet.'

'How much?'

'fifty?'

'Fifty?' laughed Mark. 'Not very confident.'

'Hundred Bucks.'

'Two?'

'Two.' Dexter nodded. 'I bet two hundred they get married and have babies.'

'You're insane.' Said Derek, standing up, shaking his head.

'Young love. I can see it going all the way.' Dexter smirked.

'Shut up,' laughed Derek. 'And stop betting on my relationship.'

'Hey- it was Mark who bet you wouldn't make it.'

'You're acting as if we're thirty. It's college.'

'You say that like you totally don't wanna be with her forever,' teased Mark as Derek began to go red.

'Right, I'm leaving now.' He laughed, walking to his room.

'You not going to class?'

'Nope. Gonna read for a bit.'

'Okay, have fun.' Smiled Mark.

'Keep us updated with the wife.' Dexter smirked.

Derek shook his head, laughing as he let himself into his room and slumped on his bed, putting his beer next to his bed. Meredith still hadn't been in touch. Absolutely no messages or calls from her on his cell. He was hoping there was a simple explanation. He was really hoping there was a simple explanation because he really didn't want to be angry or confrontational with her. He knew her mother being here was probably making her anxious, but there was a niggling feeling in the back of his mind, that something was wrong.

He wanted just to be there for her if she was upset and hold her and kiss her and make her laugh, not ask her why all his stuff had gone. Or why she was ignoring him. He sighed, picking up his book and hoping Meredith would be in touch soon.

 _Thanks for reading please review X_


	49. Chapter 50

_Hi guysss, thank you for the really kind reviews and thank you for reading!_

She was stressed. Meredith was ridiculously stressed. She'd managed to avoid Derek the day before when they had biology, but as she'd expected he had been calling and texting her since the arrival of her mom. Today hadn't been so bad, she'd had chemistry in the morning with Izzie and Cristina, and then afterward they had gone for lunch, so she was only just getting home and had no immediate plans to see him.

Tomorrow she was safe too, she had chemistry in the morning and then after lunch she was going to her mom's thing at the med school. If she knew how to explain things to him, or act normally around him knowing her mom could pop up at any moment, she would. But she had no clue what to do. She was panicking.

Not only would her mom go on about her having a boyfriend and how he would be a distraction from her work and ruin her life blah, blah, blah; but she knew her mom wouldn't like him. He was warm and he was funny and he was sweet and caring, all the things her mom pretty much wasn't. Her mom would probably want her to date someone who only cared about sex, so that it could be a quick fix and nothing more.

Not to mention the fact Derek came from a big, single parent family. She knew Derek's mom didn't have a lot of money, they weren't poor as such, but one part time nurse caring for six children on one wage meant their life wasn't as simple as hers.

Hopefully, if she could just tactfully put him off until her mom had gone, and played the stressed and upset card, things would be fine. He knew her mom made her anxious, so surely he would give her space and then she could pretend like everything was fine with her mom, and she just didn't have time to meet him.

She followed her friends into their apartment and flicked the television on as Cristina sat next to her on the couch when her phone buzzed, again.

 _-Everything okay? X_

This was the sixth of his texts she would be ignoring, sixth. She had to reply but she had no clue what to say.

'Brain boy?' Cristina raised her eyebrows.

'Yeah.' She sighed.

'How did he take the news that you never told your mom?'

'I haven't told him.' Meredith chewed her lip.

'Still?' asked Izzie, joining them in front of the TV.

'No,' she breathed, staring at her cell screen. 'I can't.'

'Sure you can.' Frowned Cristina.

'No, I can't.'

'Seriously, just tell him you fucked up. You lied, you're sorry. She doesn't know yet.'

'I'm scared.' She whispered.

'It's better than lying to him even more.' Pointed out Izzie. 'He'll understand. And I'm sure your mom will like him, I mean, he's like the perfect boy to take home.'

'Wait- I'm not telling her.' Insisted Meredith. 'I… not half way into her visit...'

'So you're not going to tell her while she's here at all?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'I can't.'

'So tell him that.' Cristina shrugged. 'He'll probably be annoyingly understanding about it.' She rolled her eyes.

'I… no.'

'Well then you've fucked it.' Her friend said bluntly.

'How?' she gasped. 'He'll never even know.'

'Never know that your mom came to town and didn't want to meet her only daughters first boyfriend when he literally lives ten minutes away?' Her friend said sarcastically.

'Cristina's right.' Nodded Izzie. 'He's going to know somethings up.'

'No he wont.' She shook her head. 'I'll text him telling him my mom's taking up all my time, so I'll see him when it calms down, put his stuff back before he comes over, tell him my mom was sorry she didn't get to meet him and he'll never know.'

'Oh, he'll _so_ know.' Cristina laughed harshly. 'You two are joined at the hip, not seeing him for five days is basically the equivalent of a harvest going a year without rain.'

'Don't be so dramatic.' Meredith snapped. 'I'll text him now, it will be fine.'

'If you say so.' Shrugged Cristina.

'What you going to say?' asked Izzie.

'I don't know.' She sighed. 'I….'

'What did he say?'

'Just asked me is everything okay, with a kiss.'

'He is so sweet.' Izzie said sadly.

'Not helping.'

'Sorry.'

'I… wait, I'll type something and you check it, okay?'

'Okay.' Izzie nodded, as Meredith typed anxiously.

'There,' she extended her hand to show Izzie what she'd written. _Everything is good, just hectic with my mom. Will see you when it calms down, love you X_

'That's good.'

'You sure?' Meredith chewed at her lip nervously again.

'Well if it was me I'd go and see him to explain, but yeah, I think that message is okay.'

'Okay.' Meredith breathed, sending it.

She didn't want to be pushing Derek away, but she wasn't really. She was only doing it in front of her mom. It was weird, she'd rebelled against her mom so many times that it shouldn't be a problem to do it again, but this time it felt different. It felt big. Her mom was judgemental, and mean, and dismissive. And she made it no secret she wasn't Meredith's biggest fan, despite being her only family. She'd told her so many times she wouldn't become a surgeon, and that she was too unfocused to make something of herself. Even after speaking to her professors who were all really positive, her mom still found things to pick her up on. Last night as she was leaving, she'd told Meredith she should be more like Cristina. And that Izzie wasn't the kind of unfocused influence she wanted, having a boyfriend and not studying all the time.

If she met Derek, no doubt would she go off on Meredith, but she'd grill and judge him. She'd make him feel uncomfortable and scare him off. He'd told her that wouldn't happen, but she knew it would. Her mom was a bitch, to put it simply. And she wouldn't be nice to him.

'Are you seriously not going to see him until she goes?' frowned Cristina. 'I don't do relationships but that doesn't sound like a good idea even to me.'

'What am I supposed to do?'

'Tell him.' Izzie shrugged, sheepishly.

'I just told you I can't tell him.'

'I don't see why not.' Said Cristina.

'I can't.' she sighed, frustrated.

'Okay,' said Izzie. 'Tell us what he replies.'

'If he replies.' Meredith said under her breath.

'We all know Brain Boy's going to reply,' Cristina said flatly. 'He's whipped.'

'He is not whipped.' Meredith frowned.

'Dude he is so whipped.' Her friend laughed.

'He's not. He's just nice.'

'To be fair, in comparison to Alex, he is pretty whipped.' Said Izzie.

'Stop making me feel bad.' Meredith breathed, tears stinging their eyes.

'You should.'

'Cristina!' Izzie hissed. 'We're not trying to make you feel bad, Mer.'

'Well you are. I get it he's amazing or whatever and I'm being a coward.'

'Pretty much.'

'Cristina! Look, Mer, we get it's complicated.' Said Izzie.

'Hmmmm.' Meredith breathed, staring at her cell. No reply yet. 'I might go for a nap.'

'Okay.' Smiled Izzie. 'Do you want in on dinner?'

'Yes please. I might go the library after if either of you want to come?'

'I have a meeting with my tutor.' Sighed Cristina.

'I'll come.' Nodded Izzie.

'Cool. I'll see you both in a bit.'

'Okay. Let us know what Derek says.' Izzie smiled.

'I will.' She replied, pushing the door open into her room and kicking her shoes off. She reached into her drawer for her Dartmouth top and some pyjama shorts, changing from her jeans as some flowers on her bedside table caught her eye. She swore those weren't there before. They were yellow and bright and they looked really pretty next to her pale pink walls and she definitely did not put them there. She walked closer, confused, seeing a piece of paper and some candy.

Fuck. She reached for the note and immediately recognised her boyfriends handwriting, her heart melting at the words. If she didn't feel like crap already, she definitely did now. This was typical Derek. He knew how unexpected her mom's visit was, and that she was probably feeling thrown by it. He was amazing.

Tears began to sting her eyes as she sat on her bed, picking up a bag of candy, her favourite. And he'd put ice cream in her freezer. Fucking ice cream. Despite being new to this relationship thing, she was pretty sure not a lot of boys would bring her favourite food and flowers for her when she was upset and leave them in her room. Especially when she'd ignored his calls and avoided him.

She sniffled, wiping at her eyes. She was a horrible girlfriend. Probably the world's worst or whatever. And Derek was the world's best. She wiped at her cheeks again which were still wet, rushing into the living room, the note in her hands.

'Mer?' frowned Izzie.

'Look,' she whimpered, shoving the note into her friends hands.

'Oh…' Izzie breathed, reading Derek's note.

'He got me these.' She gestured to the candy. 'And there's flowers by my bed and ice cream in the freezer. Probably strawberry. Because he's amazing and perfect and will have bought me my favourite.

'Oh, Mer…' Izzie pulled her into a hug, don't cry.

'How can I not cry when he does things like… this… and I'm ignoring him…' she whimpered.

'Then don't.' he friend smiled simply.

'I cant! You don't understand….'

'Mer, that guy would move heaven and earth to make you happy or whatever it is they say… just tell him.' Said Cristina.

'I can't!'

'Mer, I get your mom's difficult… but if you're that upset about hurting Derek then surely it's worth just telling her? Or just tell him you haven't told her and aren't ready, he will understand. Especially if he sees how upset you are.' Soothed Izzie.

'I cant.' She shook her head.

'Unless there's something youre not telling us I don't get it.' Cristina shrugged.

'My mom…. You've met her and talked to her about medicine or whatever and that's okay, that's her whole life but relationships… me… she… no. just no.'

'What can she say?' Cristina frowned. 'Tell you not to be with him? Just ignore it.'

'No…' she shook her head. 'Well, she will tell me not to be with him but I'm not worried about that because obviously she's not going to stop me. He's…. I love him.'

'We know.' Smiled Izzie.

'I… she's mean…'

'Derek wont care.' Izzie shrugged. 'In fact, he'd probably say something back to her.'

'No but… she says things…'

'Everyone says things,' she laughed.

'No… she…. She says things and she has ways…'

'Mer you're not making any sense.' Said Cristina.

'She… she says things and she'll say things to him and-'

'Mer, Derek loves you,' cut in Izzie. 'He would take anything she threw at him.'

'No.' she whimpered.

'He would.' Izzie reassured her.

'She'd scare him away and…'

'No she wouldn't,' Izzie put her arm back around her as tears continued to fall.

'I don't want to lose him…' she gasped.

'Stop it, you're not going to lose him.'

'I am.'

'No, you're not.'

'If my mom gets anywhere near him then I am….'

'Well then we'll do everything we can to keep her away. But I think you need to talk to him.'

'Yeah…' she sniffled. 'Yeah.'

'Do you want to go now?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'No, I'll go tomorrow. After my mom's thing. She's going straight to the hospital and won't be back on campus until Friday. So I'll have a day with him.'

'That sounds like a good idea.'

'Yeah….' She breathed, resting her head on her friend's shoulder, Derek's note in her hand.

'Why don't you call him to say thanks and get in bed with Cristina and watch a movie with your ice cream while I make dinner?'

'Okay,' she wiped at her eye.

'Lets go.' Said Cristina, standing up. 'Get your ice cream and stop crying, I have my meeting in an hour but I can stay for a bit.' Meredith obliged, rubbing her eyes of the remaining couple of tears, standing up clutching Derek's note.

'What do you want for dinner? Pasta?'

'Sounds good.' Meredith smiled.

'Okay, I'll get started. It should be done when you get back, Cris.'

'Okay, come on Mer.'

'You go and pick a movie, I'm just going to call Derek.'

'Okay.' Cristina rolled her eyes, heading into Meredith's room.

'You can go in my room to talk to him if you want?' Izzie smiled.

'Yeah, thanks.' She nodded. He was going to know she was upset straight away, which was no good because then he'd want to come over. Deep breaths. She needed deep breaths. She still had absolutely no clue what she was going to say. Well, thank you, obviously. But apart from that she didn't know. He would probably be all comforting and perfect and make her feel even worse for lying to him.

It wasn't that bad before her mom got here, she'd told a white lie that she was going to sort out in the holidays. But now it had come back to bite her with a venom. Her mom was here and she had no explanation to Derek as to why he couldn't meet her. Plus, when she told her mom at Christmas she would probably ask why she never said anything sooner, or if she'd met him during her visit.

Plus, she'd given her tickets to Cristina, Izzie and Alex. She would have given them to Izzie and Cristina anyway, but obviously Derek came before Alex. Derek came before anyone. And she'd not given him a ticket to probably the greatest surgical opportunity they'd get until internship, she'd given it to Alex instead. Urugh. She hated herself. She seriously hated herself right now.

She stared at her cell before standing up and walking back into her room, sitting next to Cristina. Her friend started the movie as Meredith drafted a text to her boyfriend. Nothing seemed right. She was at a loss. In the end, she settled with:

 _-Thank you so much for my things, they made my day. I won't be in bio tomorrow, but can I meet you after? I love you so much X_

He replied almost instantly, and she felt her eyes prick again.

 _-You're more than welcome. Of course, dinner and a movie? I'll bring ice cream. Love you X_

 _-Perfect. But can we do it at yours? X_

 _-Of course. Is everything okay with your mom?_

 _-Yeah. I'll explain everything tomorrow, can't wait to see you. X_

 _-Me neither. I love you X_

As she was typing she knew things weren't that simple. She'd have to explain what seemed to be an increasingly worse situation with her mom. This probably hadn't been the best way to handle it, but it was too late now, she'd already started lying to both of them and she was in way too deep. She was just hoping she could brush it off to Derek as stress, and keep him away from her mom until she was gone.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

'I'm pissed.' Said Derek, coming out of his room and immediately going to the refrigerator, shoving his cell in his pocket. Mark, Tim and Dexter were sat watching something on the TV, Derek threw himself on the couch next to Mark, cracking open his beer. He had tried not to jump to assumptions with Meredith, he was waiting to see her and hoped there'd be some explanation as to why all his stuff had been gone from her room.

'Why?' Said Tim, turning his head from the screen.

'Her mom's talk's at two tomorrow, right?' he asked.

'Yeah.' Tim nodded.

'Unbelievable.' He sighed, taking another drink. She wasn't coming to biology because she was at her mom's talk, not that she'd said that to him. Obviously she wasn't giving him a ticket, although no doubt she'd be giving one to Cristina and Izzie despite how they upset her less than a week ago. She hadn't even told him she wasn't inviting him. She'd just… not done it.

'Why?' said Mark.

'She messaged me, saying she's not going to be in biology, which is at two thirty, but she'll see me after.'

'Wait- she's not taking you?'

'No.' Derek laughed harshly.

'What?' frowned Tim. 'Why?'

'I don't know.' He shrugged. 'She hasn't even mentioned it to me. She might think I don't even know.'

'Everyone knows.' Said Mark flatly. 'So she's not inviting you, for real?'

'Doesn't look like it.'

'What the fuck.' Said Tim.

'I'm more pissed that she hasn't at least told me. She's just not said anything about it.'

'She taking Izzie and Cristina?'

'No idea. Probably.'

'That's so messed up.' Said Mark. 'especially after last week.'

'I know.'

'I can't believe she's not invited you.' Tim shook his head.

'Me neither.'

'Did you ask about your stuff?' Said Dexter.

'No.' he sighed.

'Man,' sighed Mark.

'I just…' he trailed off. 'She's hidden my stuff, she's been avoiding me, she's not invited me, I.. I can only think of two reasons. She's either pissed at me for some unknown reason… or, she doesn't want me to meet her mom.

'Is she acting pissed at you?' Said Tim, putting his feet over the couch arm.

'Well no,' Derek frowned. 'Not really. She said thank you for the candy I left for her and she told me she loved me so I don't think so. But then again she has been ignoring me and got rid of all my fucking stuff so unless she is and just isn't telling me.'

'She cant be pissed at you.' Mark shook his head. 'She has no reason to be.'

'I don't know.' He said, genuinely.

'You've not done anything, so she cant be pissed.'

'Mark's right.' Dexter nodded as Derek picked off the label on his beer bottle. 'She can't be pissed at you.'

'Fuck knows.'

'Why would she not want you to meet her mom, though?' Said Tim. 'She told her about you in the end, right?'

'Yeah, just before we came back.'

'Then that doesn't make any sense either. Any mom who knew her daughter had a boyfriend would want to meet him anyway.'

'I know.'

'So I don't get it.'

'Chicks, man.' Mark sighed. 'This is why you stick to fucking.'

'You would say that.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'It's true.' Mark shrugged. 'I mean, if Mer, the soundest girl ever acts all pissy and weird then what's the point with any of them.'

'I just don't get it.' Derek shook his head. 'I really don't.'

'I don't think its that she doesn't want you to meet her mom, I mean, she's not been with her twenty four seven, so it doesn't explain why she hasn't seen you at all.' Pointed out Dexter.

'True.' Agreed Tim. 'And it doesn't explain why she's gotten rid of your stuff. She doesn't have to meet you in order to realise the boy's stuff in her daughters room is her boyfriends.'

'Yeah.' He breathed.

'Makes no sense.' Mark shook his head. 'None.'

'It is weird…' Said Dexter sheepishly.

'I… I don't know.' He sighed. 'But I'm pissed.'

'I would be.' Said Tim. 'Something's obviously going on.'

'Yeah.'

He didn't want to be pissed at her, he didn't want to feel put out, but he did. His girlfriend was being fucking weird and he didn't know why. She had been given three tickets to her mom's talk, and she hadn't given him one. Three other people came before him and he would be lying to say it wasn't a kick in the teeth. He'd done everything he could to make her happy and she'd chosen three other people over him, without even giving him an explanation. If she'd said she was nervous for him to meet her mom they could have talked about it and handled it. But she hadn't. She just hadn't invited him or even told him about the talk, as if hoping he would never find out.

Then there was his stuff. There was no logical explanation as to why his stuff was gone out of her room without her telling him why or where it had gone. And she was texting him telling him she loved him, as if he was none the wiser about any of it. He wasn't happy.

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	50. Chapter 51

_Hi guys! Okay so please don't hate me... you know I'm rooting for them too, but yeah, please don't hate me on this one..._

The sound of her mother's voice wasn't something she'd ever been fond of, it was loud and it was droning and it was usually nagging at her for something or other. But a two hour talk had pushed her to the limit. She'd maybe listened to the first ten, fifteen minutes? After that, her head had completely zoned out. She had no idea what her mom was on about, and her mind drifted to Derek.

She was supposed to be seeing him this afternoon, except he hadn't replied to her text this morning; and she still didn't know what she was going to say to him. She knew she probably should tell him that she had lied, it was more honest, and a good girlfriend would be honest. But he would probably be mad, and she really didn't want him to be mad at her. It was one thing to fight with her friends, but she had a feeling if she seriously fought with Derek her life would pretty much be over.

They bickered all the time, over silly, little things, nothing serious, half the time they were only just winding each other up and they would literally kiss and make up there and then. But they had never actually had a fight, it would probably be the worst thing ever. She couldn't imagine ever actually being pissed at Derek, he was always considerate of her feelings and was the only person to ever show her affection and comfort. The closest they'd ever really come to fighting was when he found her crying in the Dublin, and that had resulting in them making out and telling them they loved each other.

Okay. So. She was going to tell him she'd been so stressed with her mom being here and Izzie and Cristina were constantly on at her about it. She'd spent all of her free time studying, because her mom had been talking to her professors about her progress and so she didn't want to give her any ammunition to call her unfocused. That was believable. She could spend tonight and tomorrow with him while her mom was at the hospital and then she wasn't sure what she was going to do about Friday… but she had time to figure that out yet….

She was stood with Cristina, Izzie and Alex in the foyer, where there were drinks and a spread and a lot of medical students waiting to talk to her mom. She wanted to leave straight away, but Cristina had forced her to stay so that they could eavesdrop on her mom's conversations with the med students. It was painful. Trying to look happy and interested, drinking the coffee she'd been given, while people were staring at her and whispering about her mom. She just wanted to leave, but at the same time, she was too anxious to be looking forward to seeing Derek. Spending time with him was her favourite thing to do, and she'd gone and screwed it up, complicating things.

'I can't stop watching her.' Said Cristina, her eyes glued to Ellis as she spoke to a red haired boy.

'I know right,' breathed Izzie, doing the same.

'Stop it,' groaned Alex. 'It's embarrassing.'

'Shut up asshat.' Cristina replied, not taking her eyes away.

'You're both weird. Right Mer?'

'What?' she breathed, snapping out of her thoughts.

'They're weird.'

'Oh, yeah.' She nodded.

'Just because she's your mom,' Cristina rolled her eyes. 'If she wasn't you'd be as in awe as we are.'

'Unlikely because I probably wouldn't be doing pre-med if she wasn't my mom.'

'Seriously?' said Alex as her other two friends continued their staring.

'Yeah.' She shrugged.

'What would you do if she wasn't your mom then?'

'No idea. But probably not this. What does your mom do?'

'Works in a store.'

'Which store?'

'Not sure. She was working at the grocery store when I was younger but I think she's somewhere else now.'

'Hmmm.' She nodded, not knowing what to reply.

'Don't you think it's weird they're making us wait here when they could literally talk to your mom about the surgery on Friday when she says goodbye to you.'

'Yep.' Meredith sighed. 'But I don't think they're going to let us leave.'

'What time you meeting Derek?'

'Not sure.' She bit her lip. 'Bio ends at four so he should be done soon. But he's not wrote me back yet so I don't know.'

'You two will be fine.' He smiled, hitting her arm gently. 'Whether you tell him the truth or not, he loves you so you'll figure it out somehow.'

'Hmmmm,' she breathed. 'It should be fine.'

'It should. Do you have a plan?'

'Yeah, I don't think I'm going to tell him. I'm going to say I've been studying because I know my mom's been talking to my professors about me.'

'Which is true.'

'Exactly. So I'm hoping he'll be fine about it.'

'He will.' Alex smiled. 'He's a good guy.'

'I know.'

'I mean, yeah he might be pissed you ignored and avoided him for a bit, but if he got you candy and flowers and was asking after you he obviously cares.'

'Yeah.' She bit her lip. 'Yeah.'

'And if he doesn't know you lied, he cant be mad about it.'

'Yeah.'

'Can you two talk a bit quieter?' Cristina hissed.

'We're trying to listen.' Cut in Izzie.

'Sorry, some of us aren't stalkers.' Alex rolled his eyes.

'Shut up.' Izzie hissed as Meredith's heart suddenly stopped. Well, it didn't actually stop but it certainly felt like it stopped. Derek was walking through the crowds of excited med students, looking around, presumably for her. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Her mom and Derek in the same room was exactly what she'd been avoiding. She diverted her eyes in an attempt to avoid eye contact. Her heart was racing and she felt like she might throw up, this was not part of the plan. This was not part of the plan at all.

She glanced over her right shoulder, checking he hadn't seen her when she felt a hand on her right arm.

'Der,' she breathed, panicked.

'Hey,' he said, an unreadable expression on his face. He wasn't smiling, he always greeted her with a smile. But he didn't seem particularly pissed.

'Hey.' She echoed, smiling nervously.

'How was the talk?' he asked, a slight twinge to his voice that confirmed to her that he was indeed, pissed.

'Oh,' she breathed, trying her best to act normal. 'Good. Thanks.'

'Good.' He replied simply, again, no smile.

'Do you… how come you're not in bio?' she asked, glancing to check her mother was still talking.

'I wanted to talk to you.' He shrugged.

'Sure,' she nodded eagerly, not wanting to bring on a confrontation. 'Shall we get going?'

'Sure.' He shrugged, as Cristina grabbed Meredith's arm tightly.

'Dr. Grey.' Cristina smiled. Shit.

'Mom,' she smiled nervously, turning to face her mom who had joined the four of them. What the fuck? She'd literally still been talking two seconds ago.

'I just came to inform you that I'm going straight to the Royal and should be there all evening so wont be seeing you until Friday.'

'Okay.' Meredith breathed, trying to ensure she wasn't stood too close to Derek.

'You speech was incredible, Dr. Grey,' Cristina nodded. 'The surgery sounds amazing.'

'Thank you Cristina.' Her mom said with a rare smile.

'I agree, Dr. Grey.' Izzie beamed.

'Thank you Isabelle.'

'You're welcome.' She replied, despite hating being called by her full name.

'Thank you for letting us attend.' Nodded Alex.

'You're very welcome. It's good to know Meredith has at least some focus friends.' Ouch. Another stab. 'And I don't believe we've met before,' her mother began, looking at Derek. Fuck. Fuck fuck fucking shit fuck. Meredith's eyes grew wide, as did her friends'.

'Oh, no we haven't.' Derek smiled, placing a hand gently on Meredith's back and extending his other to her mom. 'I'm Derek.' She discretely took a step forwards, away from his hand, before her mother had had chance to notice it.

'Derek,' her mom repeated.

'Yeah,' he nodded, turning to Meredith slightly. 'Meredith's-'

'Lab partner.' She said quickly, looking at her mom and not meeting her boyfriend's eyes. 'Derek's my lab partner.'

'Oh,' her mom smiled, and she could feel Derek's eyes on her, burning her. 'Nice to meet you, Derek.'

'You too.' He replied.

'Are you in pre-med? You look a little older.' Her mom frowned.

'Oh, I took a couple of years out,' he said slowly, this was basic information she would have told her mom about her boyfriend.

'Oh.'

'I… my dad was sick,' Derek said casually by explanation.

'I see.' Ellis nodded carefully, an awkward silence filling the circle.

'I… Derek came to catch me up on the bio work from today,' Meredith breathed. 'So I'm going to go. I'll see you Monday.'

'Okay.'

'Bye guys,' Meredith said quietly.

'Bye,' smiled Izzie sympathetically.

An awkward silence fell between her and Derek as they walked out of the crowed room, untouching. She'd fully dropped her foot in it. Now he knew she had lied and had found out in the worst way possible. Lab partner. Fucking hell Meredith why couldn't you just tell her.

'Der,' she breathed, when they got outside, reaching for his hand nervously, as he began walking ahead of her.

'I'm going to go,' he turned to her, dropping her hand.

'Der,' she echoed, feeling tears stinging her eyes, she just wanted to explain things to him. He'd already turned away from her again, walking away. 'Derek wait,' she moved to catch up with him, standing in front of him to stop him going any further. He didn't say anything, he just sighed, looking away from her.

'I… can we go back to yours?' she said nervously, not reaching for his hand for fear of being rejected again. She didn't think she could bare it if he didn't want to touch her. 'I… please let me explain…'

'What? Explain why we can't go to yours because I'll wonder where my stuff is?' he raised his eyebrows.

'I… oh…' she didn't even think about him realising his stuff wasn't there when he left her gifts.

'Yeah, thought so.' He breathed, pushing past her.

'Der please,' she followed him. 'Please I… I'm sorry.'

'Yeah.'

'Please Der,' she could feel the tears threatening to fall as he continued to walk away from her.

'What?' he sighed, turning around, waving his hand in the air. 'What?'

'I…' she bit her lip as a few people started to look at them.

'What? You want to explain why you lied to me?'

'Don't say it like that,' her lip trembled.

'Well that's what you did.'

'I know,' she nodded. 'I know, and I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Please can we just talk about it?'

'What is there to talk about? How you lied to me for over a month and are that embarrassed about me you tired to hide me away?'

'I'm not embarrassed about you,' she said tearfully as he turned to walk away again. 'I'm not, Der.' She said more firmly, reaching for his arm. 'I'm not embarrassed about you.'

'Hmmm.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Hmmmm.'

'I love you.' She whispered, her voice wavering; it was lame, but it was all she had.

'Yeah,' he laughed harshly.

'I… my mom wouldn't get it, Derek.' She shook her head.

'Right.'

'Derek,' she pleaded. 'I… she wouldn't get it and she'd say things and…'

'And what? I don't get it, Mer.'

'She'd be angry.'

'Right.' He sighed.

'I… she wouldn't be happy about it… like your mom.'

'That's the difference though, I wouldn't hide you from anyone. No matter what they thought, because I love you. I love you so much that I wouldn't care what anybody said to me. If my mom said she didn't want be to be with you I'd stand there and tell her that was her problem, because I love you.'

'I know,' Meredith whispered, her breath hitching in her throat. 'I know. I…'

' _Alex_ , Mer. You let Alex go with you today, and didn't even tell me. You didn't tell me you even had tickets, I already knew obviously, because everyone knows. But you didn't even tell me. After I took you away this weekend because your friends had upset you, you chose them over me. When you didn't even need to choose! There were enough tickets for all of us!'

'I know…' she whispered. 'I panicked… I'm sorry…'

'And now all I am is your lab partner? Fine.'

'Derek you know I didn't mean that.' She said as a tear ran down her cheek.

'Do I? Because you haven't been acting like you have a boyfriend these last few days.'

'Der…' she didn't even know what to say, because he was right. Everything he was saying was right and she didn't know how to reply. He looked so hurt. He wasn't crying like she was but he looked so sad and cold. 'I shouldn't have lied to you…'

'No.'

'You don't get it,' she shook her head, more tears spilling down her face.

'No, I don't.' he said coldly. 'Why didn't you just tell me?' he demanded.

'I didn't want you to be mad…'

'Yeah, well that worked out well for you didn't it.'

'I don't know what else you want me to say. I said I'm sorry.' She whimpered.

'I don't want you to _say_ anything.' He shook his head. 'I'm going to my room.'

'Let me come with you, please.' She breathed.

'No.'

'Derek.' She whimpered. 'Please can we talk? Later? I could come over?'

'Yeah, well now I know why you only wanted to see me tonight, because mommy's at the hospital.' He spat.

'Stop it!' she snapped. 'I know I fucked up, okay? I know I fucked up and I'm trying to say sorry. But you're not letting me.'

'No, I'm not.' He replied in an equally pissed tone, everyone now watching them. 'Because I'm pissed off. You got rid of my stuff, Mer. And you lied to me. Do you really think I would be that mad you hadn't told her?'

'Isn't this evidence enough?' she said frostily.

'I'm angry you lied to me, Mer.' He hissed. 'If you'd have told me you really couldn't tell her we could have talked about it, and yeah, I might have been disappointed, but I'd rather you'd have been honest with me.'

'Fine, I'll be honest shall I? I didn't tell her, I wasn't planning on telling her until the holidays and I was just going to pretend she knew because it was easier.'

'Great.' He said sarcastically. 'So where is all my stuff? You know, _my_ things that you just got rid of?'

'I didn't _get rid_ of them, Derek.' She snapped. 'They're in Izzie's room with Alex's things.'

'Ah, I see.' He said in his still sarcastic tone.

'You're acting like I threw them out.'

'And you're acting like what you did was fine.' He groaned. 'If you'd have told me, we could have sneaked around your mom or something. Or I wouldn't wonder what I've done to make you avoid and ignore me.'

'I wasn't ignoring you Derek I don't have to reply to your messages as soon as they fucking come through.'

'You lied to me.' She saw a flash of anger in his eyes she'd never seen before, he looked seriously mad.

'Because you didn't give me a choice!'

'What?!' he laughed harshly. 'I didn't give you a choice?'

'No. You made me feel bad for not telling her, so I lied to you to make you happy.'

'Fuck this.' He sighed, running his hand through his hair. 'So now I make you feel bad?'

'No…' she whimpered, regretting all the words that were coming out of her mouth. But he wasn't letting her explain, every time she tried he just got madder.

'What wouldn't she like about me?' he demanded. 'Is taking care of you not enough for her?'

'It's not like that, Derek.'

'Then tell me, because I'm not understanding.'

'I… her pointing out that you're old to be a sophomore? That's her way of asking why you were unfocused enough to take time out. She doesn't like Alex because she said he distracted Izzie from her studies, your mom…' she trailed off, stopping herself saying any more.

'What about my mom?' he said indignantly.

'I… nothing…'

'What about my mom?' he repeated, angrier.

'She supports six of you on a part time nurses' wage… I… my mom would look down on that…'

'Oh,' he laughed harshly. 'Sorry I'm not good enough for you and your college paying mom.'

'You know I don't think that,' she spat. 'It's my mom!'

'Well you can't disagree that much, otherwise you would say that to her. You seem to fight about most things, but apparently you can't argue about this!'

'Derek, you _know_ I don't think that. I love your mom!'

'Yeah, and I thought you loved me.' He said bluntly, pure defeat in his eyes.

'Derek,' she breathed, breathless.

'I'm going.' He shook his head, turning around and walking away. She felt like her heart had been ripped out and trampled on, she'd never seen him that angry before. Ever. And she'd ended up fighting with him, her words coming out all wrong and too quickly to stop.

'Derek!'

'Don't talk to me.' He shouted over his shoulder.

'Derek…' she whimpered as he disappeared around the corner, everyone around her was stood still, silent, watching. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve before turning around quickly and heading back to find her friends. She was losing her breath because she kept crying as she walked, finally reaching the door. She pushed it open and looked around warily, trying to locate her mom. She was stood on the opposite side of the room to her friends, but they were still watching her talk to the med students.

'Iz,' Meredith breathed, her cheeks red and her eyes wet.

'Mer! Oh my god are you okay?'

'Yeah,' she sniffled. 'No..' she shook her head, silent tears falling down her cheeks. 'Can you come home with me?'

'Sure.' Izzie nodded as Meredith looked around quickly to make sure no one was looking. 'Are you coming?' she asked Cristina.

'Do you want me to?' Cristina turned to Meredith.

'No,' she shook her head. 'You two stay here, just Iz.'

'Okay,' said Izzie. 'Lets go.'

'Yeah.' She nodded, following her friend out of the crowded room, wiping at her eyes again.

'What happened?' breathed Izzie, linking her friend as they made their way back to their apartment.

'We had a really big fight,' Meredith whimpered. 'I.. I really messed it up, Izzie.'

'Okay, let's just get you home and then we'll talk about it.'

'Okay,' she sniffled.

'How… how bad was it?'

'I'm pretty sure he's going to dump me,' she cried, her shoulders shaking.

'Woah,' breathed Izzie, stopping them and pulling them to the side of the street. 'Mer,' she wrapped her arms around her as she cried, her tears wetting Izzie's top. 'Mer shhh, it's going to be okay.'

'No…' she cried. 'Izzie…'

'Shhhh,' she soothed, rubbing her back.

'I… I was mean…' she gasped. 'I didn't want to be, I wanted to apologise and explain but I ended up fighting with him and….'

'Mer, it's okay, calm down…'

'I can't…'

'You can.' Izzie nodded. 'We'll go home, get your ice cream out, and sit on the couch and work out a plan.'

'Plan?' she looked up at her friend, her eyes read and puffy.

'Yeah, for you two to sort this out.'

'I don't think he wants to see me,' she whimpered.

'Mer, he was angry. But he loves you and he'll want to figure this out as much as you.'

'I don't think so.' She whispered.

'Come on,' Izzie pulled on her hand. 'Let's go home.'

'Okay… home.'

Izzie put her arm around Meredith's shoulder, as they walked back to their apartment. Izzie seemed sure the fight wasn't that much to worry about, but she was always optimistic, she was Izzie. She didn't see the way Derek looked at her, the way he just walked away from her when she was crying. Derek would never leave her when she was crying, he would hold her and kiss her and make sure she was okay. But not this time, this time he had actively walked away and left her. Which showed her just how much she'd hurt him.

She knew she should have told him the truth, hiding him away made it look like she was ashamed and embarrassed of him, so she could see exactly where he was coming from. And although it was true, she shouldn't have brought up Derek's mom. She loved Mrs. Shepherd and all of Derek's sisters, and she had a lot more admiration and respect for Alison than she did for Ellis; but it was true that her mom wouldn't want her with a boy who's family hardly had any money.

She didn't know what she could say to him to make it right, and that scared her more than anything. She thought if her mom had met Derek then she'd lose him, and that's exactly what had happened. Except it wouldn't have if she'd have just been honest in the first place. Derek would have taken whatever her mom had thrown at him, Izzie had been right. Like he said, he would stand up to anyone for her, because he loved her. She hadn't done the same for him, and she wished she had. She really, really, wished she had. Because the only person she wanted right now was the person who didn't want to see her.

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	51. Chapter 52

_Hi guyssss, thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! Thank you for reading and please review._

Meredith took a deep breath as she pushed the door open to Derek's building. She'd spent the whole night tossing and turning and occasionally crying, waiting for it to reach an acceptable time to get up and go and see her boyfriend. Izzie had listened as she'd cried for about an hour when they got back, feeding her the ice cream Derek had bought for her. She didn't know how she'd ended up arguing with him, she should have just taken everything he said to her and held her hands up that she'd been wrong about everything.

She was just hoping today he would be a bit calmer after sleeping on it, and would listen to her apology. Izzie had helped her write a list of every single thing she said and done that she wanted to apologise for, so she wouldn't forget. She clutched the piece of paper in her hand as she made her way up the stairs, her breathing uneven. She was determined, she decided, to make things right. If he was snappy, she wouldn't walk away, she would let him shout at her or whatever and stay until he believed her.

It was ten am, she figured he would be in, seeing as they didn't have physics until eleven but it still gave them the best part of an hour to talk. She'd brought him breakfast, a berry granola pot with yoghurt from their coffee shop, which was his favourite for some unknown reason.

'Hi,' she smiled nervously as Mark opened the door, she thought it best to knock than just walk in with her key.

'Oh, hi.' He said, not stepping back to immediately let her in. Tim and Dexter were sat at the kitchen table, looking at her awkwardly.

'I… is Derek in?' she asked, biting her lip, glancing at her boyfriend's shut bedroom door.

'No.' said Mark simply.

'Oh.' She breathed, her eyes fixed on his door.

'He isn't in there.'

'Do you… do you know where he is?' she asked quietly, getting the vibe she wasn't very welcome.

'Out.' Mark shrugged.

'Out,' she echoed. 'Do you know when he'll be back.'

'Nope, sorry.' Mark shook his head.

'Okay…' she breathed. 'I… if he comes back before class can you tell him I was here?'

'He won't be. But when I see him.'

'Thanks….' She whispered. 'I… I'll go…'

'Yeah.' Nodded Mark.

'He's gone home.' Blurted Dexter.

'What?' she breathed.

'Dex,' groaned Mark.

'What?' he shrugged. 'She should know.'

'No, she shouldn't.' Mark shot him a look.

'She's obviously upset Mark, give her a break.'

'Who's side are you on?' Mark hissed.

'Derek's obviously,' Dexter sighed. 'But she obviously came to apologise. And Derek wouldn't want us being jerks to her.'

'You're an ass.'

'When… when did he go?' she asked, his granola in one hand, her list in the other.

'Last night.' Said Dexter.

'Dude!' said Mark.

'What? She should know.'

'He… did he say how long he was going for?' she eyed Dexter carefully, knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of Mark.

'No,' he shook his head honestly.

'Okay,' she nodded. 'Okay, thanks.'

'It's okay.' Dexter smiled.

'I… I should go…'

'Yeah,' said Mark.

'Thanks Dex.'

'No problem, you guys'll be fine in no time.'

'Yeah,' she smiled sadly. 'I hope so.'

'You will.'

'I thought you were going?' said Mark, moving back towards the door.

'Right,' she nodded. 'Bye.'

She walked away down the corridor defeatedly, Derek had gone home. He was in New York and she was stood there with some lame granola in her hands. Mark had seemed really pissed at her, like, really pissed. Which was understandable considering he was Derek's brother and he'd probably told him everything she'd done and said.

Fuck physics, she walked off campus and back to her apartment swinging the door open with great force.

'Woah,' said Cristina. 'I take it things didn't go well with Brain Boy if you're back here barging around?'

'He wasn't there.' She said quickly, placing the granola pot on the kitchen table before running into her room and pulling her over night bag from under her bed.

'How did it go?' breathed Izzie, coming into her doorway.

'It didn't',' Meredith shook her head, reaching into her drawer for some panties. How many would she even need? She didn't know how long she was going for, or if Mrs. Shepherd would let her wash them… she picked up a handful and counted them. Six… that should work. She shoved them in her bag before pulling out some socks too.

'It didn't?' Izzie frowned, staring confused at her friend.

'No,' she said breathlessly, pulling two pairs of jeans off her shelf. 'He wasn't there.'

'Mer, I'm confused…. What are you doing?'

'He's in New York.'

'Wait- what?'

'He's in New York,' she repeated, folding the jeans and putting them in her bag. 'So I'm going to New York.'

'Wait- seriously?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, packing a bra.

'Now? You have class at eleven?'

'I know. But I have to go, now.'

'Mer, don't you think you need to slow down?' Izzie asked, sitting on Meredith's bed. 'Maybe he just needs some space?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'No, I have to go. I have to explain to him…. Izzie I cant let him go.'

'You're not,' Izzie shook her head. 'Not really.'

'I have to go.' She whimpered, clutching a T-shirt in her hands.

'Okay, fine.' Izzie sighed. 'If you really think you should.'

'I do.' She nodded. 'I have to find him and tell him I love him.'

'Okay… can I do anything to help?'

'No,' she shook her head. 'Actually, do you think Alex would take me to the airport?'

'I can ask him,' her friend nodded. 'I'll call him. What time is the next flight?'

'I don't know.' She bit her lip. 'I was just going to go…'

'Okay, you keep packing, I'll check the flight times and call Alex, okay?'

'Okay,' she nodded. 'Thanks Iz.'

'It's okay, I'll be back in a minute.'

'Okay,' she repeated, turning to her bedside table and shoving her perfume into her bag before going to her dressing table and picking up her make up. What else did she need? Tooth brush. Pyjamas…. What else? Hair brush, purse, cell charger…. She couldn't think of anything else. Oh, pass port. She packed everything in her now full over night bag and walked into the living area where Alex was sat on the couch next to Cristina.

'Let's go,' he nodded, jumping up.

'You're okay to take me?' she asked, picking up the granola pot off the side.

'Yep. Next flight is in an hour, I can get you there in twenty five minutes and then you should just about make it.'

'Oh my god, thank you.' She gushed, hugging him.

'Okay, let's go.'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'Bye guys,' she breathed before rushing out the door.

'Bye,' said Cristina, her eyes still on the television.

'Bye! Call me!' Shouted Izzie.

She jumped into the passenger seat of Alex's car, her bag on her lap. An hour. An hour until she would be on the plane, which meant she could be with Derek in three. She considered calling him, but he would probably ignore her. Besides, it was probably more romantic or whatever to surprise him and turn up at his doorstep. Not that she was good at the romantic thing or anything. But she did know that she wanted to go after him and show him she was sorry. At this point she didn't care what her mother thought at all, not if it meant Derek being in a different city without telling her. Not if it meant they were fighting, or there was a chance she could lose him.

She'd never felt very loved by her mother, her whole life she had neglected her. Her dad had left. She had no real sense of love or family, but Derek… Derek gave her just that. She loved him so much and she knew he loved her too, well… he did anyway. He made her feel like who she was was enough, and he never tried to change her. Apart from the odd encouragement to eat more vegetables.

It wasn't worth losing the person she loved the most, over a fight with someone who never bothered with her anyway. Besides, the more she thought about it, the more she realised there wasn't much her mom could actually do. She could tell her that she didn't approve, and didn't want her with Derek, but that wasn't going to do anything. She could potentially be so mad that she stopped paying for school, but in that case she would just get a student loan. The only real thing she could do was talk to Derek about her and scare him away. But she was pretty sure that either he was A) already done with her, or B) if he loved her enough to take her back after what she'd done, surely he would love her enough not to listen to her mom.

The car pulled up at the airport terminal, she reached over and kissed Alex on the cheek before thanking him and running out and into the building.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMMD

Olivia Shepherd was pretty sure she had never seen her brother like this, ever. He'd come home unexpectedly the night before and her mom had called her, asking her to come home. He'd told their mom it was something to do with Meredith, but Alison was at a loss as to what had happened, telling her how happy they had seen only a few days before in Boston. So she'd come home from school that morning, to find her mom sat downstairs alone, her brother still in his room.

'It's ten thirty,' she said, sitting in the arm chair opposite her mom. 'He's always up by now.'

'I know.' Alison sighed. 'I knocked on his door earlier, asking if he wanted breakfast and he said no.'

'And he's not said any more?'

'Nope, he went straight to bed when he got in and I haven't seen him since.' Her mom shook her head. 'I just don't understand.'

'Me neither.'

'I… I don't know.' She sighed.

'I'm going to go talk to him, see if he wants to go fishing or something.'

'That might be a good idea. He obviously came to clear his head.'

'I just wonder what's happened… I mean.. he's so in love with her…'

'I know.' Alison nodded. 'And she thinks the world of him… this weekend Liv, they were so happy.'

'They're always a bit disgustingly happy.' She smiled sadly.

'Hmmmm.'

'Right, I'm going to go up. Has Mark been in touch?'

'No, but if you manage to get Derek out the house I might give him a call.'

'Okay.' Olivia sighed, standing up and shrugging her jacket off. 'I'm going up.'

'Okay sweetheart.' Her mom smiled.

She made her way upstairs and knocked gently on Derek's door. No answer. She knocked again before pushing it open to see her brother lay under the covers.

'Oi, ass, get up.' She said playfully, turning his light on.

'What are you doing here?' he frowned, sitting up.

'Apparently my big brother is in a time of crisis.' She shrugged. 'Why wouldn't I be here?'

'It's not a crisis.' He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

'Well somethings obviously made you flee home.'

'I have not fled.' He couldn't help but laugh slightly.

'It appears you have.' She smirked, sitting on the end of his bed. 'So whats up?'

'Nothings up.'

'I think you and I both know that's not true. Plus, I've spoken to mom so I know its something to do with Meredith.'

'I don't want to talk about it.' He sighed.

'Der,' she groaned.

'I don't want to talk about it.' He shook his head. 'I came here for some peace, not you going on at me.'

'Fine,' she held her hands up. 'But can you at least get out of bed, you're acting like a forty year old going through a mid life crisis.'

'Ha, ha.'

'Get up. We're going out.'

'No we're not.'

'Yes we are.'

'Somehow I don't fancy holding your shopping bags while you raid every store in the city.'

'Not shopping you jerk.' She rolled her eyes. 'Fishing.'

'Fishing?' he laughed. 'You don't go fishing.'

'No, but you do. So come on.'

'I don't get it I'm going to fish while you just sit there.'

'Yep.' She nodded, standing up and throwing some clothes at him. 'Put those on and be downstairs in five minutes ready to go. I'll get snacks and a drink.'

'Fine.' He sighed, getting out of bed.

'Thank you,' she smiled. 'Hurry up!'

'I will.' He groaned as she headed down the stairs.

'Mom, have you got the picnic bag?'

'Yes,' her mother nodded, standing up from the couch as she entered the living room. 'I'll go and get it, did you manage to get him up?'

'Yep. We're going fishing, he's going to be down in five minutes.'

'Did he say anything?'

'Just that he didn't want to talk about it.' She sighed. 'But I'll get it out of him, don't worry.'

'Okay,' Alison nodded, handing her the bag.

She put two bottles of water in, a banana each, a jar of her mom's cookies and a bag of chips. Derek would probably groan that it was unhealthy but she didn't really care. She couldn't be bothered making him a salad. He came downstairs in some jeans and a fleece, looking particularly downtrodden and tired. He was really upset about whatever it was.

She rushed him out the door before her mom could say too much and put him off, shoving him into her car and began driving to his fishing spot. Their car conversation didn't touch Meredith, it mainly consisted of Derek criticising her driving as usual, and then asking what food she'd packed.

Fishing was boring. She knew there was a reason she never actually leant. He and Mark seemed to love it for some reason, always had, as had her dad. But it was tedious. They'd been sat there for twenty minutes in complete silence as Derek sat with a rod in some water, waiting for something to happen. She sighed, looking around the pretty area, trying to decide how to broach the subject of Derek's girlfriend in a way that wouldn't make him recoil.

'You feeling more relaxed now?' she asked quietly.

'Would if you stopped talking,' he mused.

'Shut up, I'm being quiet. Plus, I didn't speak for a while twenty minutes.'

'True,' he laughed softly, but she could still see a sadness in his eyes.

'How was Boston?'

'Good.' He nodded.

'How was grandma?'

'Good, the same as usual really.'

'Aunt Sandra?'

'The same.'

'Hmmm, I cant remember the last time I saw her.'

'She said she'll come over again soon.'

'Good.' She nodded. 'I miss grandma.'

'Me too,' he breathed.

'What did you guys do?'

'Not much,' he shrugged, 'Got Lara's birthday present, went around the city, went out for dinner.'

'Did Meredith like it?'

'Yeah,' he sighed, and she noted his sudden tensing. 'But she used to live in Boston, so it wasn't exactly new.'

'She did?'

'Yeah, I think it was when she was six they moved.'

'It's far from Seattle.'

'It is.' He agreed.

'But you had a good time?'

'Yeah.' He smiled slightly.

'You didn't fall out or anything?'

'You're bad at being subtle, you know that, right?' he laughed.

'And you're bad at pretending like you're fine when you're not.' She countered. 'Spill.'

'I told you I don't want to talk about it.'

'Yeah, and I'm missing my chemistry class right now so you can do me a favour and at least make it worthwhile.'

'I should be in physics.' He murmured.

'You can tell me, you know. I'm a girl, so maybe I have more insight than Mark or whatever.'

'Hmmmm.'

'I only want to help, Der. You're obviously upset.'

'We had a fight.' He said simply.

'When?' she asked carefully.

'Yesterday.'

'Yesterday?'

'Yeah, afternoon.'

'A… I'm guessing a big fight?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'And you just ran out here?'

'I didn't run.' He snapped. 'I'm getting space.'

'Right,' she nodded.

'Sorry,' he sighed. 'I didn't mean to snap.'

'It's okay.' She nodded. 'So you're getting space.'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'I… everyone's interested at college and I didn't want people watching, butting in.'

'Why they so interested?'

'Look, if I tell you will you promise not to go crazy and listen to what I'm actually saying?'

'Why would I go crazy?' she frowned.

'Just promise me, please Liv.'

'Okay,' she sighed. 'I'm listening.'

'Her mom turned up,'

'Oh my god!' she squealed. 'Ellis Grey?!'

'Liv,' he sighed. 'Please?'

'Right, right, sorry.' She nodded. 'So her mom turned up.'

'Her mom was doing a speech at the med school ad so everyone was gossiping about Meredith and we fought in front of everyone and everyone was watching.'

'Man,' she sighed. 'What did you guys fight about?'

'Her mom.'

'Her mom?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'Well, not really her mom. But… she lied to me.'

'Ellis?' she frowned.

'No, Meredith. She never told her mom about us.'

'Oh.'

'And then she didn't tell me that. She told her mom I was her lab partner, while I was stood right there.'

'Shit,' she breathed. 'She said that?'

'Yep.'

'And she didn't tell you her mom didn't know?'

'Nope. Told me she told her just before we came back to school.'

'I… did she say why?'

'She just said her mom wouldn't get it. Wouldn't be happy about it.'

'I guess that's not Meredith's fault.'

'No, I know.' Her brother nodded, understandingly. 'But she didn't have to lie to me.'

'I know.' She whispered.

'She lied to me, and… she was avoiding me all day, and when I called round to see her all my stuff had gone.'

'She got rid of your stuff?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'Didn't want her mom to see.'

'Fuck.'

'I… I'm not good enough for her.'

'Wait- what?' she sat up a little in her chair.

'Her mom… I'm not good enough for her,' he breathed, his eyes tearing up as they remained fixed on the lake. 'She said she wasn't embarrassed about me but… she is, Liv.'

'No,' she shook her head. 'She's not, Der. She loves you. Any one can see that.'

'Then why did she not want her mom to know she had a boyfriend from a poor family?'

'She said that?' she gasped.

'Pretty much.'

'What the fuck…'

'I.. I don't get it Liv,' he breathed, a single tear making it's way down his cheek which he was quick to wipe away. 'I really loved her… I thought.. we were really happy.'

'I know. Mom said you were really happy in Boston.'

'And then she did… I cant believe she lied to me. I mean, I cant believe she tried to hide me either but… she lied to me, Liv.'

'I know.' She whispered, not really knowing what to say to make it better. 'I mean, I.. don't get me wrong, I know it was wrong for her to hide you, I know that. But if she'd have told you straight off her mom didn't know, maybe you would have found a way to tell her, or you'd have been happy to hide or whatever, but the lying..'

'I know.' He nodded. 'I said that to her. I mean, obviously I'm disappointed she didn't tell her… she doesn't want her to know about me.. I'm not good enough or whatever… but if I'd have known… maybe she could have made me understand.'

'Yeah,' she breathed. 'I… did she apologise?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'But I was too pissed to listen… and then we started fighting…'

'And let me guess that led to her saying more stuff that upset you?'

'Yeah.' He nodded.

'That sucks.'

'I know.'

'What are you going to do?' she asked quietly after a moment of silence passed between them.

'I don't know.' He sighed. 'I don't know.'

 _Ty for reading pls review it makes me day X_


	52. Chapter 53

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for the kind feedback on the last chapter! It's so good to know you are enjoying this story and your reviews genuinely make my day. I'm sorry for the slightly longer wait for this chapter, and I'm sorry if there are some typos, I've not proof read it as much as I'd like but thought I wouldn't keep you waiting any longer. Thank you for reading!_

As much as Derek would never admit it, he was really glad his sister had dragged him out fishing. If he'd have stayed in bed all day, he'd probably end up replaying his fight with Meredith for the thousandth time in his head. His dad had taken him and Mark fishing every Sunday, and it was the best way to keep a clear head. Especially when his dad was sick, until he was unwell enough to do so, he'd still gone with them every week. And for that couple of hours it almost felt like things were normal.

Granted, Liv wasn't the best fishing partner, but she was a really good sister. Eventually, when she'd got too cold and bored, she'd dragged him home for what she described as proper food and a sit down inside. He assumed his mom wouldn't ask him too many questions, and would just grill Olivia later and so agreed. When they got in, he put all his fishing stuff in the porch as Liv went to get them both a drink.

'Derek dear, do you want any food?' his mom smiled as he sat next to his sister at the kitchen table.

'I'm okay thanks,' he replied, taking his orange juice. 'I don't know how she's still hungry.'

'Shut up.' Olivia pouted, taking the sandwich Alison made her. 'Just because you eat nothing.'

'I do eat,' he laughed. 'I just stop when I get full.'

'Well I'm not full.' She pouted.

'We've eaten exactly the same.' He laughed.

'Well good for you for being full. I'm not.'

'Oh stop bickering,' Alison chuckled, sitting down with her own sandwich opposite them. 'Did you have a good time fishing?'

'It's boring.'

'No it's not.' Derek rolled his eyes. 'You're just impatient.'

'No I'm not. It's boring.'

'I've never understood the attraction either,' his mom shook her head. 'But if you boys love it that's all that matters. Did you catch anything?'

'Two,' Derek sighed. 'But I let them back.'

'Anything interesting?'

'Not really,' he shook his head.

'We were saying we all need to see grandma soon,' said Olivia with a mouthful of food.

'I think she would really like that.' Alison nodded.

'Is she coming for Thanksgiving?'

'I haven't asked her yet, but I was going to.'

'Is everyone coming back for Thanksgiving?' asked Derek.

'I would hope so,' his mom laughed softly. 'Olivia have you heard from your sister this week?'

'Yeah, she called me this morning, she's good. Has she not called you?'

'She rang on Sunday, I just assumed she'd have spoken to you more recently. Have you spoken to her, Derek?'

'I called her on Monday night.' He nodded. 'She still seems to be enjoying herself.'

'She is.' Olivia nodded.

'Well if she's gonna tell anyone the truth its you,' he laughed.

'True.' His sister smiled.

'She said she really gets on with her room mate.'

'She does,' Liv nodded enthusiastically. 'Georgia, she's called. I'm going to visit next weekend.'

'You are?' Derek frowned.

'Yep, Thursday to Sunday.'

'How come no one wants to come and visit me?' he laughed.

'Sorry didn't realise you want to party with your little sisters.' She rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, true. That probably would be a little disturbing.' He winced.

'Yeah you would not be fun to go out with.'

'Hey, I can be fun.'

'Yeah….' She laughed.

'Whatever, you girls like to gang up on me.' He teased.

'You have Mark! You don't need us.'

'True.'

'Plus you always complain that we annoy you,' she smirked.

'Very true.' He nodded. 'Yeah, just forget visiting.' He winked as there was a knock at the door.

'I'll go get it,' smiled Alison, standing up. 'Beverly from church said she was going to pop round either today or tomorrow.'

'Okay,' said Olivia as her mother walked away. 'So have you heard about Lara and Jake?'

'No, what.' He shook his head, despite knowing what was happening.

'Shit,' his sister breathed. 'Think they're gonna break up.'

'Seriously?' he raised his eyebrows at the realisation Lara had obviously spoken to his younger sisters now.

'Yeah….' She sighed. 'La wants to come back to New York and do her internship at Si…..' Olivia trailed off as her mom reappeared in the room.

'What?' Derek frowned turning around. 'Oh.'

'Hi,' his girlfriend said quietly, dressed in her Dartmouth hoodie and a pair of black jeans, her hair pulled up in a loose ponytail, a few strands free, framing her face. She looked like she'd been crying, her eyes red and her face pale.

'Hi,' he replied, unknowing what else to say.

'Olivia, get your jacket and we'll go and get a coffee.' Alison smiled.

'But I'm eating,' she whined, picking up her sandwich.

'Well bring it with you in the car then, come on.'

'Fine.' She sighed.

'I'll get you a cake, come on.'

'Alright then.' she huffed, picking up her plate and making her way past Meredith, an awkward look exchanging between the two.

'We'll be back in an hour or so?' Alison said to her son.

'Sure,' he nodded.

'Okay.' She said, gently squeezing Meredith's shoulder. 'I'll see you two in a bit.'

'Yeah,' his girlfriend whispered as Alison walked out of the room.

'So,' he breathed.

'Hi.'

'Hi.'

There was an awkward distance between them as she stood in his kitchen doorway and he sat at the table. She had her bag slung over her shoulder and her phone clutched in her hand, looking nervous. He wasn't expecting this at all, he figured she wouldn't have wanted to see him after their fight and so wouldn't even know he was home. And even if she had known, he never expected her to show up unannounced.

'I'm sorry.' She blurted. 'I'm really… _really_ sorry.' She whispered. 'And I know you probably hate me… I would hate me too… and I just wanted to talk.'

'Okay,' he said simply.

'Okay?' she breathed in relief. 'Good… that's good…' she nodded.

'Shall we sit down somewhere comfier?' he suggested. 'And less formal than the table?'

'Sure.' She nodded eagerly.

'Couch?'

'Sure.' She repeated, following him in to the living room and sitting on the opposite end of the couch, cradling her bag in her lap and fidgeting with the strap.

'I wasn't expecting to see you.' He said honestly.

'I couldn't not come,' she breathed, still playing with the strap on her bag. 'I don't like fighting with you.' She said quietly.

'Hmmm.' He nodded.

'I know… one minute… I have a list…' she rambled, reaching into her back jean pocket and pulling out a very worn piece of paper. 'I.. just so I don't forget anything…'

'Anything?'

'That I want to apologise for…' she didn't meet his eyes.

'Oh.'

'I… okay,' she looked up from the paper. 'I'm really sorry and I don't really know where to start so I'm just going to go with it… I… I'm really sorry that I lied to you, I shouldn't have done that…. At all.'

'No.' he agreed.

'And if I could turn back time I obviously wouldn't have done it.'

'Hmmm,'

'I… I knew it would make you happy and I honestly didn't think it would ever be a problem. I was going to tell her.'

'Hmmm,' he breathed, unconvinced.

'I tried… to tell her. I tried to tell her the day I came back but… lets just say it didn't go very well and I ended up chickening out. Which I shouldn't have done. But I did try… I did want to tell her.'

'Okay.'

'But I shouldn't have lied to you. And as soon as she arrived I should have told you.'

'Why didn't you?' he breathed.

'I don't know…' she whispered. 'I panicked… I thought you would hate me for lying to you… but then that led to more lies and the more it carried on the harder it was to tell you… I… I didn't mean any of it.'

An awkward silence fell between them of which he didn't know how to fill. He couldn't tell her it was okay, because it wasn't. He was hurt.

'When I tried to tell her…' she began, realising she wasn't going to get an answer. 'I told her I needed to talk to her and she asked me if I was pregnant. Then she basically called me a whore and that she wouldn't be surprised if I was, and she could take me to the hospital for a termination. I told her I wasn't a thousand times but she just kept going… then her pager went off and she said work was more important than whatever I had to tell her. Then I didn't see her again before I left…'

'She doesn't sound very nice.' He said softly.

'She's not.' She replied quietly. 'And her turning up… was like… the worst thing ever. And not just because I hadn't told her… even if I had… she's… enough to put anyone off, lets put it that way.'

'I already told you that wouldn't happen.'

'I know.' She nodded. 'But I… I panicked and she says things and does things…'

'I wouldn't care what she said about me.'

'I know,' she breathed, tears stinging her eyes. 'I know that but when she turned up I was so panicked and I didn't want her to say things to you. You're… you… and I didn't want my mom to come and ruin it.'

'I don't care what she says to me, I care what _you_ say to me.'

'I know.' She whispered. 'I…' her voice a little stronger. 'She wouldn't have just said things about you… me.. she would have told you things about me… or rather, said things about me in front of you and I… didn't want you to believe them.'

'I know you, Mer. I know when she says you're unfocused, that's not true.'

'I know. And I think that's what makes me feel even worse, I know you would have been amazing about it… but I guess it all just went out the window.' She chewed on her lip nervously.

'So you pretended we weren't together, without telling me.'

'I know,' she shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut fiercely to stop the tears falling. 'I know I was wrong.'

'You should have told me.'

'I know.'

'I…' he trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered. 'I'm really sorry.' She looked down at the list again, her fingers trembling slightly before she spoke again. 'I'm sorry about your stuff. I shouldn't have moved it and I feel really, really bad. That was.. visibly hiding you and you don't deserve that…..'

'It hurt me.' He nodded.

'I know… I… I don't want to hide you. I don't want to hide you from anybody because I'm not embarrassed about you, Der. I'm not. I love you and the last thing I am is embarrassed to be with you… I cant believe that I'm with you half the time. You're amazing and I'm… me. My mom thinks things and she judges people… but I don't think that.' She shook her head. 'You have to know I don't think those things, Der.'

'I did.' He said sadly.

'I love you. And I don't care what kind of family you come from. I mean, your family's amazing so obviously it doesn't matter but even if you didn't…. it wouldn't matter anyway. My family's shit, and so who am I to judge anyone? Your family's so much happier than mine so why does money matter? I love you. And I don't want to lose you, Der.'

'I just…' he trailed off. 'If you don't think it why did you say it?'

'I was trying to explain how intense she is… she's a lot. And she's mean.'

'And you'd be scared to be disapproved of having a poor boyfriend.'

'No,' she whimpered. 'It's just another thing to add to the long list of things she'd say…. And I knew it would hurt you.'

'Yeah, it did.'

'But I don't think it. You have to know that.' She pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears again. 'I love you so much and I… I don't want to lose you, Derek. I can't lose you. Please…' she whispered.

'You really hurt me.' He murmured.

'I know. I know I did and I'm so sorry. I'll do anything.' She whimpered. 'Please don't leave me…'

A single tear made it's way down her cheek as her lips trembled, she took a breath and it hitched in her throat. He could tell she was trying really hard not to cry, not to break down. She sniffled as she wiped her nose on her sleeve and there was a twinge in his heart. She was upset. His girlfriend was upset because she had hurt him, and she had. She had hurt him, but she had also flown out here at what must have been an incredible rush, in order to apologise to him, even though she thought he was going to dump her anyway.

'Come here,' he breathed, surprising even himself with his words and extending of hand.

'What?' she whimpered, a few more tears spilling from her eyes.

'Come here,' he repeated, opening his arms to her.

'Oh,' she cried, smiling, before scrambling into his arms and burying her face in his chest, his strong arms wrapping around her and breathing her in. She smelt like lavender as always, and he held her tiny frame as she shook in his arms, his shirt becoming damp from her tears. He held her for a few moments, rocking her gently and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. She was clutching on to him so tightly, as if she was clinging to him for dear life. He knew she was sorry.

'Shhhh,' he murmured, rubbing a hand on her back. 'It's okay.'

'I'm sorry,' she hiccupped, her head still on his chest. 'I'm so sorry…'

'I know you are.' He whispered, squeezing her tightly. 'I know.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'You do?' she breathed, looking up at him, her eyes glazed with tears, her cheeks wet.

'Of course I do.' He cupped her face.

'Are you sure you don't hate me?'

'I could never hate you. I hate what you did, but never you.'

'Oh,' she whispered, wiping her eye. 'I love you so much, Derek.' She reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his own.

'I love you so much too.'

'I really thought you were going to dump me.'

'I'm sorry if I over reacted,' he murmured as she lent her forehead against his.

'You didn't.' she whispered. 'What I did was wrong.'

'Yeah.' He breathed.

'But you still love me?'

'Meredith…' he smiled. 'Yes.' Before he leaned to kiss her softly, his lips brushing over hers. Nothing hard, just a soft, gentle, lingering kiss. He pulled away for a second, to see the smile on his girlfriend's tear stained face, before she leaned back into him, her fingers instantly going to his hair. Her lips were so soft as they caressed his own again, and he wondered how he'd gone days without them. Since they'd gotten back to school there hadn't been a day where he hadn't kissed her multiple times. But since Monday he hadn't felt Meredith's lips on his own and he was in heaven. He pulled her closer into him as she was still in his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist, so there wasn't a part of them not touching.

'Mer…' he breathed into her mouth as his hands snaked around her wasit.

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too.' He planted a peck on her lips before resting his forehead back against hers, smiling.

'I'm sorry.' She said quietly, tracing his cheek with her fingers.

'I know. It's okay.'

'It's not.'

'I forgive you.' He kissed her softly again, revelling in pleasure as her tongue licked along his teeth before entering his mouth.

'I love you so much.'

'I know.' He gazed into her eyes. 'It's happened, we can get over it.'

'So we're okay?'

'We're okay.' He smiled.

'Really okay or just you saying we're okay but then you not actually forgiving me and end up resenting me and-'

'Meredith,' he laughed, cupping her face in both hands. 'Shut up.'

'Oh,' she giggled.

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'So we're okay.'

'We're okay.' She beamed.

'And anyway, if you want to make it up to me I can think of a few things you can do.' He smirked, running a hand gently along her hair.

'Oh really?' she giggled.

'Mmm-hmmm.' He nodded. 'Make up sex is the best part about fighting.'

'It is?'

'It is.' He grinned.

'I'm sure that can be arranged.' She teased, the smile widening on her face. 'I'm sure I can think of a few ways to spoil you.'

'Hmmmm, and what would they be?'

'Well,' she breathed, leaning closer to him so he could feel her hot breath on his face. 'I know you've been wanting to fuck my boobs for a while now… so maybe we can start with that?'

'Fuck…'

'And I know how much you want to have sex in a semi-public space… so that can be next.'

'Mer…' he breathed, tightening his grasp on her, imagining fucking her somewhere someone could see.

'You're kinky.' She giggled.

'So are you.' He said, breathless.

'Then we make a good match.' She giggled again, pressing a kiss to his lips. 'Hmmmm…. What else can I do to make it up to you….'

'We can't exhaust too many kinks at once… we have to save some.'

'True.' She nodded. 'So maybe I'll just give you fuck tonnes of blowjobs.'

'Fuck Mer…' he groaned, feeling himself start to harden as his girlfriend talked seductively to him while being sat in his lap.

'And also plane sex. Mile high club.'

'You… seriously?' his eyes went wide.

'Unless you don't want to?' smirked.

'Definitely mile high club.' He breathed, his hands going to her ass.

'How long do we have before they get back?' she whispered into his ear, sucking on his lobe.

'I… not sure.' He mustered as her mouth moved to his neck and began to suck.

'Then I guess I'll have to be quick.' She giggled, turning to look at the window before hopping off his lap and drawing the curtains. 'Unless you want a show?' she smirked.

'Maybe if it wasn't my mom….' He said breathlessly.

'Okay.' She giggled, shutting the living room door and walking over to him. She knelt in front of him as he sat on the couch and he could feel himself growing more and more aroused at the prospect of his girlfriend sucking him off in his living room. She grinned up at him before reaching for his belt, fumbling until it came undone.

'Shuffle forward a little,' she instructed, pulling his zipper down and smirking as she reached inside his boxers.

'Fuck, Mer…'

'I love you so much.' She whispered, lifting his shirt slightly and pressing a kiss to his navel.

'You… you too….' He moaned as he felt his erection grow harder.

'What do you want me to do?' she gazed up at him. 'Tell me baby, this is for you.'

'I want to come in your mouth,' he whispered, his hands going to her hair gently.

'You want me to take it all?' she looked at him with big eyes.

'Yeah..' he breathed.

'Good. Because I want your big cock at the back of my throat.' She breathed, tapping her fingernails up the length of his shaft.

'Fuck… Mer…' he moaned.

'Do you want that too? Me to deepthroat you?'

'Fuck yes…. I want to fuck your mouth.'

'I want you to fuck it.' She whispered, pressing a kiss to the head of his dick.

'Will you swallow it?' he gulped.

'Every last drop.' She kissed his dick again, this time darting her tongue out to lick at the precum as her hand went to his balls, giving a gentle squeeze.

'Fuck…' he groaned. 'Fuck…'

She kissed up and down his shaft, licking and purring, before he thrust his hips up to her lips, his hands tightening in her hair and his voice begging her to take him. She parted her lips and looked up at him seductively, before taking him all in. Her mouth was so warm, and wet, and she took him all. She moaned as the head of his dick hit the back of her throat and he cried out in pleasure, watching her tiny mouth full with his cock. It was fucking sexy to watch and he couldn't help his hips bucking continuously until he felt a wave coming over him. She squeezed his balls tighter and sucked him until he couldn't hold it anymore, releasing into her and holding her face in his hands as she swallowed all of him.

'Fuck…' he panted as she licked her lips.

'Was that good?' she giggled, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

'Fuck yes..' he nodded, still catching his breath. She climbed off the floor and back into his arms, folding his now flaccid penis back into his pants, and wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning to kiss him. He was in a post-orgasmic haze, and his girlfriend massaging his tongue with hers was sending him into a new state of bliss. He couldn't stop kissing her. Every time they pulled away for air, they came straight back, his arms tightly around her waist.

He was in love with her, he knew that. He was so in love with her and he knew that she loved him too. She'd hurt him, she'd really hurt him, but he also knew that her relationship with her mom was volatile, and Meredith felt like a constant disappointment. It made him sad to think she was so scared of her own mom that she would hide their relationship, and that she and her feelings were the most important here.

Every time her lips brushed his own, their passion was conveyed, their love told not through words. Holding her in his arms, he never wanted to let go. She was his Meredith, and he loved her.

'Love you.' She whispered, as she pulled back, breathless.

'Love you too.' He replied.

'When did you book a flight home?' she asked softly, placing a peck on his lips before snuggling into him again.

'I didn't.' he breathed, kissing the top of her head.

'Me neither.' She murmured. 'I… when do you want to go back?'

'I don't mind.'

'I… tomorrow? I want to tell her. I want us to tell her.'

'Mer… you don't have to.' He shook his head.

'No, I want to.' She put a hand on his chest. 'I want to.'

'Okay.' He nodded.

'I want to prove to you I love you.' She kissed the underside of his jaw.

'Baby I already know that,' he shifted her in his arms to cradle her. 'You don't have to prove anything.'

'I want to tell her.'

'Okay.' He nodded. 'Okay.'

'I love you so much.'

'I love you too.'

'I really thought you were going to leave me.'

'I've already told you, I'm never leaving you.' He rested his chin on the top of her head as she leant back into his chest. 'Ever.' He squeezed her hands which were clasped in his around her midsection. 'No matter how hard it gets.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.' He kissed her temple. 'I… I love you.'

'You too.' She turned her head to catch his lips. 'Forever.'

'Forever.' He smiled, his hands locked in hers.

 _Thank you for reading, please review! X_


	53. Chapter 54

_Hi guys! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, please leave one on this one!_

Meredith sighed contently as her head rested on Derek's shoulder, her arm tucked in his and her body nuzzled into his side. When she flew to New York the day before she wasn't expecting to be returning so quickly, so happily with her boyfriend. They'd just got back from the bathroom, where Derek had fucked her as she sat on the sink counter. Apparently sex got better after a fight, they had both been so passionate and generous it led to truly mind-blowing orgasms.

She lifted her head to kiss his cheek softly before resuming her position, and interlocking their hands. Yesterday had gone so much better than she had planned. He initially forgave her pretty quickly, a lot quicker than she was expecting, and he didn't say much. But when his mom and sister came home, they went upstairs and laid in bed, talking about the whole thing in more detail; calmly and amicably. He'd held her as he told her how she made him feel not good enough for her, and she had ran her hands through his hair as she placed soft kisses all over his face, reassuring him that he was. He was more than good enough.

He'd kissed her neck softly as she apologised for claiming he made her feel bad, thanking him properly for the treats he left her in her room. And she'd wrapped her arms around his neck as she explained how the fear of losing him over-rode any fear she had of her mom.

'You okay?' he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

'Yeah.' She whispered, squeezing his hand.

'I can't believe we just did that,' he laughed quietly.

'Me neither.' She giggled. 'Plane sex is hot.'

'Very hot,' he agreed.

'Did Mark say he's pick us up?'

'Yeah,' he sighed. 'He said he'd be here as soon as we land.'

'Good.' She stifled a yawn. 'What time is it?'

'Twelve thirty. So only twenty minutes left.'

'Will you wake me when we get there?'

'Of course.' He breathed, kissing her forehead.

'Thanks.' She whispered. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.' He said quietly as he wrapped his other arm around her, careful not to touch the guy in the window seat.

The journey was really quite quick and it wasn't long until the landing announcement was made and the seat belt sign switched back on. Meredith seemed to have drifted to sleep pretty much straight away and she was still out. He squeezed her gently as the plane touched the ground, kissing her temple as she began to open her eyes.

Only having carry-ons made it a lot easier than having to wait for luggage, and they walked hand in hand out of the airport and to where Mark was parked in the lot. He'd spoken to his brother the night before, and he'd seemed pretty sceptical about Meredith's apology, until Derek had reassured him that he and his girlfriend were good. There was still some making up to do, but at the end of the day he loved her and knew that she was sorry, so that was all that mattered.

'Hey loser,' said Mark as Derek opened the passenger door and got in, Meredith behind him in the back.

'Hey,'

'How was the flight?'

'Good,' Derek smirked.

'Oh, no you did not,' winced Mark as he saw the look on his brother's face, reversing his car out of the space.

'Oh, we did.' He grinned.

'You two disgust me.' Mark shook his head.

'You're just jealous,' Meredith giggled.

'Well, that's debatable.' Said Mark flatly, creating an awkward silence. Mark had been awkward with her when she'd gone to their dorm, but she'd figured that once her and Derek made up he would be okay again. Apparently not.

'Dude, I just got sex on a plane.' Derek reminded him, giving Meredith a comforting look. 'I'm pretty sure you're jealous.'

'Maybe.' He shrugged. 'How's mom?'

'Good.' Derek nodded. 'Liv was home too.'

'She was?'

'Yeah, think mom made her. But still, she was there.'

'She good?'

'Yeah. We went fishing.' He laughed slightly.

'Olivia Shepherd actually went fishing?'

'She did.' Her boyfriend grinned.

'And you let her?' Mark raised his eyebrows.

'Well, when I say she came fishing, that's a bit of an overstatement. She dragged me out and then sat next to me and ate while I fished.'

'That sounds more like it. Did she complain the whole time?'

'Pretty much. And then she came back and wanted more food.'

'That girl can eat for England I swear.' Mark shook his head as they hit a red light.

'I know, a bit like someone else.' Derek turned to smirk at her in the back seat. 'She's going to visit Im in Florida next week.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

'I can't believe they've lasted this long without each other as it is, those two are joined at the freaking hip.'

'I know.' Derek sighed. 'I'm happy she's going though.'

'Dude do you really want to be thinking about your little sisters going out to party together and hooking up?'

'Literally stop that sentence.' Said Derek, holding up his hand. 'The thought of them with boys makes me sick.'

'Der,' Meredith giggled, reaching to squeeze his shoulder. 'They're nine-teen and twenty.'

'Don't remind me.' He shook his head.

'So are we next going home for Thanksgiving?' said Mark, not really entertaining Meredith's conversation.

'Yeah.' Derek nodded, turning to her. 'You coming?'

'What?' she breathed.

'To Thanksgiving?'

'Oh.' Her heart fluttered a little at the immediate invitation her boyfriend had given her, especially this soon after their fight. 'If you want me to.' She nodded quietly, aware of Mark's probably unimpressed reaction.

'Of course.' Derek smiled at her. 'You're part of the family. Mom would kill me if I let you stay at college drinking with Cristina.'

'True,' she giggled. 'I would love to… if that's okay.'

'Great.' He grinned, leaning to kiss her quickly.

'We should book the flights soon, they'll be cheaper.' Said Mark, his eyes on the road.

'Yeah, we'll have a look this week.'

'Sounds good. What time do you guys have class?'

'We should be there now.' Derek sighed.

'You got anything this afternoon?'

'Yeah, bio. But we're not going.'

'No?' Mark frowned.

'We're going to see Mer's mom.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah.' Derek nodded.

'Interesting.'

'Mark,' Derek groaned. 'don't.'

'I didn't say anything.' He shrugged.

'You didn't need to.' Derek rolled his eyes. 'Mer's apologised.'

'Hmmmmm.'

'I know I fucked up Mark,' she said quietly from the back. 'I know I hurt him and I'm really, really sorry. But I'm trying to make it right.'

'Look,' Mark sighed as he turned the corner. 'He's probably gonna kick my ass for saying this, but my brother loves you. And you hurt him, really fucking bad, okay? So I'm allowed to be a little pissed.'

'I know.' Meredith nodded.

'And its none of your business.' Groaned Derek.

'It is.' Said Mark.

'We've sorted it, so drop it.'

'Hmmmm.'

'I love him too, Mark.' She said sheepishly.

'Its fine, Mer.' Derek reassured her. 'I appreciate the support or whatever man, but really, its fine.'

'So you're just dropping this like it was nothing?'

'No,' he sighed. 'We've talked about it and while I was pissed and upset, its not something we cant get over. You should be happy about that.'

'I am.' Mark shook his head. 'But I've never seen you like that, man.'

'I know.' Derek nodded. 'But I'm okay.'

'Hmmmm.'

'So if you could stop being pissy with my girlfriend I would appreciate it.'

'Fine.'

'Thank you.' Derek smiled, nudging his arm as they arrived back on campus.

'I assume you're coming to ours?' Mark asked Meredith.

'Yes, please.' She nodded.

'Try not to have sex too loudly, I'm eating my lunch when I get back.'

'We'll try,' she giggled, Mark knew them too well. She was definitely ready for some more sex with her boyfriend, plane sex had been seriously hot, but very fast and frantic seeing as they hadn't risked it in his mom's house the night before. So they had been ridiculously horny when they'd finally done it. And now she was wanting it again. She'd promised him another round before they went to see her mom, and then a full night of sex when they got back. She still had a lot of dirty things to do to him, and she was pretty sure he was going to want to take at least one round slow as he always did, so that he could worship her body with his own, which would mean amazing orgasms.

As they pulled up outside their dorm, Meredith reached for Derek's and kissed him quickly as they walked up the stairs. She needed to call her mom to arrange a time to meet, having not heard from her while she was at the hospital doing the surgery. Hopefully they would have time to eat too, because she was starving.

Tim and Dexter were both at classes when they got inside, and Derek dragged her into the bedroom before she got chance to put her bag down. He pulled her close and pushed her against the door as he closed it, pushing himself into her. He was getting hard again. Her fingers played at his fly, trying to pull his jeans down as she deepened the kiss. Her body was pressed against his, already humming and her breath was coming in short gasps.

'Off,' she breathed, pulling at his shirt.

'Off' he echoed, pulling it over his head before moving his hands to her T-shirt and moving it over her head, tossing it on his floor. 'Mer...' he whispered, his tongue moving in her mouth, gently caressing hers as he took a firm hold of her ass and rubbed her against him. His whole body was warm, and his chest felt strong good against hers.

'Ohhh.' She moaned into his mouth.

'Mer…' he repeated.

'Fuck…' She reached into his boxers and grasped him in her tiny hand.

'Oh…' he moaned. 'Mer…' As she began to pump him gently, her lips still on his.

'What do you want?' she purred into his ear, nibbling at his earlobe before moving to his neck.

'You…' he breathed, his hands still tightly on her ass.

'Fuck me or my boobs?' she clarified.

'You… boobs tonight….'

'Okay,' she giggled, kissing his lips softly before pulling her jeans off along with her panties. He moved forward to her instantly, tipping her head to the side as he pressed hot kisses all over her neck, sucking. She moved her hips against him, catching on his hard on. 'Derek… oh…'

'Bed.' He ordered, running his hands along her smooth body.

'Bed…' she agreed breathlessly as he backed her toward it then landed himself on top of her lightly. Her hands immediately flew to his hair as he positioned himself over her, pulling him in to press her lips against his.

He trailed his hands up her body to her bra, running his hands over her covered breasts before reaching in to pull them out, pushing her bra down slightly.

'Fuck…' she whimpered as his palms covered her, catching her sensitive nipples. 'Derek…'

'I want you.'

'You too…' she whimpered. 'I'm ready…'

'Are you sure?' he smirked, moving a hand down to her and feeling her wetness. 'Fuck Mer…'

'I've been thinking about it since the plane,' she confessed, feeling his hot breath on her face.

'Fuck…'

'I'm ready…'

'You are,' he grinned, bringing his wet fingers to her lips. 'Suck.' She obliged eagerly and took his fingers into her mouth, sucking and licking herself off them. 'Fuck…'

'Please…' she whimpered, rocking her hips against him, the head of his dick catching her clit, causing her to cry out and pull tighter on his hair. 'Please Derek…'

'Okay,' he breathed, unable to resist her any longer. He reached for a condom from his bedside drawer and she sat up to roll it on him, unhooking her bra. 'Fuck..' He'd seen her body so many times, but every time she took her bra off he seemed amazed, and reached for her breasts instantly. He ducked his head down, devouring them before pulling a nipple into his mouth.

'Baby…' Meredith moaned, reaching for his dick.

'Okay,' he breathed against the wet nub. 'Lay down.'

'You going to fuck me?'

'Fuck yes.'

'Hard?' she asked hopefully as she laid back against his pillows.

'So fucking hard.' He nodded, brushing himself along her wet folds.

'Oh… you feel so good.'

'You too,' he kissed her softly before pushing into her, her arms going to his shoulders and legs wrapping around his waist.

'God!' she cried out in pleasure as he completely filled her.

'Mer…' he moaned, pleasure running all the way through him. 'You…' he pushed harder into her, trying to get as deep as he could go. He felt so perfect nestled inside her, pumping in and out.

'Fuck, Derek...' she gasped, squeezing her thighs tightly around his waist. It was beyond amazing and her head was swimming already in the way it did right before she came. He roughly massaged her breast and she reached forward to kiss him again, moaning into his mouth as he continued to rocked harder and deeper into her.

Her arms remained looped around his neck as they moved frantically against one another, panting. Derek moved a hand from her breasts to massage her clit in time with his thrusts, his tongue also matching. She thought she was going to explode from pleasure and she couldn't help but whimper and mew as her boyfriend continued to pound at her. She loved it when he was in control and he fucked her hard and fast; she loved it when he was slow and gentle too. She pretty much just loved any form of sex with him.

'Harder…'

'Harder…' he nodded, pushing himself into her at an unbelievable force. 'Fuck you're so tight!'

'For you…' she whimpered, holding his face in her hands. 'I'm close baby…. So close'

'Fuck…' he groaned, increasing his speed. 'So fucking tight….'

'Oh! Oh!' she cried as he sent her over the edge. 'Derek! Oh! Baby… fuck…'

'That's it… come for me Mer. Come baby…'

'Coming! Fuck! Ohhhh…'

'Fuck!' he growled as he felt her clamping down around him, bringing him to his own release. He panted as he rested his head on her chest, her fingers playing in his sweaty curls as they both came down. His head moved with her rising and falling chest, his flaccid dick still inside of her.

'Love.. love you…' she said breathlessly.

'Love you too.' He murmured, turning his head to kiss the side of her breast, her arms still holding him against her.

'Love you so much.'

'Me too.'

'That was amazing….'

'Definitely…' he breathed, his eyes still shut. 'Don't want to move.'

'Me neither.' She giggled. 'I didn't even call my mom.'

'Sorry,' he laughed.

'You just threw me against the wall.'

'It was actually a door,' he corrected her, pulling out of her and taking the condom off before pulling her into his arms. 'And I didn't hear you complaining.'

'I'll never complain about sex.' She grinned, turning in his arms to face him, his hand resting gently on her bare back.

'Good,' he whispered, moving so close to her that their noses were touching.

'I love you.' She whispered, tracing his cheek with her fingers.

'I love you.' He echoed, leaning to kiss her softly.

'I'm sorry about… again,' she twirled a curl of his hair around her finger.

'I forgive you, again,' he laughed slightly.

'I know. But I am.' She said softly.

'I know you are.' He kissed her forehead before she nuzzled him.

'Love you.'

'I love you too.' He laughed.

'I know I just said it.' She giggled.

'Hmmmm.' He smiled. 'Are you going to ring your mom?'

'Urugh,' she sighed. 'Yeah. But I don't want to move.'

'Me neither.'

'I'll get my cell one second,' she breathed, pulling away from him and reaching into the zip pocket of her bag and pulling it out before lying back down next to him completely naked. She entwined her legs with his and rested her head on his chest as his arm snaked around her, holding her close. She dialled her mom's number, dreading her to pick up.

'Meredith?'

'Oh, hi mom,' she said as Derek squeezed her gently.

'What do you want?' Ellis sighed.

'I was just wondering… if you're still here if I could meet you somewhere? To talk?'

'I am here until six but then I'm going to the airport.'

'Okay, that's fine. I… it's two now so maybe in a half hour? If you're free.'

'Where?'

'Erm, do you know the coffee shop right next to the physics building?'

'No but I'm sure I can find it.'

'Okay, I'll meet you there.'

'Okay.'

'Bye.' She breathed before her mom hung up the phone. 'Urugh I am not looking forward to this.'

'You don't have to,' Derek said softly, trailing his fingers up her bare spine making her hairs stand on edge.

'No I am.' She said firmly. 'Just… not looking forward to the conversation.'

'I'll be there,' he murmured, moving his hand to run gently through her hair.

'You will?' she looked up at him.

'Of course I will if you want me to.' He smiled. 'I love you.'

'Thank you.' She whispered. 'She's going to be mean… so… please just don't leave me.'

'I'm never leaving you.' He pulled her up so she was lying fully on top of him. 'Ever.' He kissed her. 'How many times will I have to tell you before you believe me?' he laughed.

'A lot.' She giggled. 'everyone leaves.'

'I told you before we were even dating that I would never leave you. Best friends always.'

'Okay.' She smiled quietly. 'Thanks.'

'No problem.' He brushed his lips against hers softly. 'Do you want to plan what you're going to say or are you just going to see?'

'I don't think you can really plan with my mom.' She sighed.

'I'll help you,' he kissed her temple gently and hugged her to him.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Will it matter what I wear?'

'I don't think so. What you were wearing before is fine.'

'Okay.' He moved his hands gently up and down her sides.

'I need to get dressed but I don't want to.' She pouted.

'I know,' he laughed. 'But we can have more naked time later.'

'Lots of naked time,' she whispered, kissing him.

'Lots and lots of naked time.' He breathed against her lips.

'I love naked time with you.'

'Good.' He laughed. 'I love naked time with you too.'

'Hmmmm,' she smiled, deepening the kiss. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.'

When she eventually pulled herself off him, Meredith put her jeans and T-shirt back on, putting her now slightly sweaty hair into a pony tail and washing her face. She sprayed herself with her perfume from her bag as Derek pulled his shirt over his head.

She was nervous, really nervous. More so for Derek really, because she didn't know what her mom was going to say to him, but then again, she knew he would stick by her and that's all that mattered.

'Ready?' he asked, standing up from her bed after tying his shoes.

'Yeah.' She breathed. 'You?'

'Yep.' He smiled, moving to kiss her softly before taking her hand. It was strange how much the small gesture warmed her, but she gripped onto his hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

When they neared the coffee shop she knew he could tell she was tense, he was rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb and kissed the top of her head.

'It's going to be okay,' he murmured. 'It will be over soon.'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'Yeah.'

'You sure you're ready?'

'Not really, but let's go.' She pulled on his hand and led them into the coffee shop. She scanned the room for her mom, hoping they were here before her. They weren't. She was sat in the corner, reading something, a coffee in front of her. Typical, she didn't wait for them.

'Do you want me to come over or do you want me to get us a drink then come over?'

'That might be a good idea.' She murmured.

'Okay, what do you want? Usual?'

'Yes please.'

'Okay. I'll get them, you go over. I love you. And I'm just here if you need me.'

'Okay.' She whispered.

'Love you.' He kissed her quickly, not wanting to draw her mom's attention. 'Go.'

'Okay.' She breathed, squeezing his hand before turning to walk towards her mother.

'Meredith,' she looked up.

'Mom.' She smiled, sitting down opposite her, nervously.

'Whatever was so urgent?'

'Oh, nothing….' She shook her head. 'Nothings wrong or anything, I just wanted to talk to you about something before you left.'

'Okay.' Ellis sighed.

'I… remember when I told you I had something to tell you the day I came back?'

'Not really.'

'When you thought I might be pregnant.' She clarified, suddenly not afraid of telling her mom she had a boyfriend, because she knew he was behind her, buying her favourite drink and was going to take her home for sex and cuddles.

'Oh yes.' Her mom nodded.

'Well, I wasn't… obviously..' she began, she could do this. She could do this.

'Okay...' her mom trailed off, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

'I have a boyfriend.' She bit the bullet.

'Excuse me?'

'I have a boyfriend. I… a proper boyfriend… who I love and I want to be with-'

'For goodness sake Meredith,' he mom rolled her eyes. 'Don't tell me that's what this is all about.'

'Well… yeah…' she stammered.

'You think having sex with someone constantly constitutes a relationship?' Ellis laughed harshly.

'No.' Meredith frowned, suddenly feeling extremely defensive. Her and Derek loved sex, they had great sex, the best sex even. But it was more than that, she loved him so much and he took care of her. 'I'm in love with him. We're in love.'

'Yeah, right.' Her mom laughed.

'We are.' Meredith frowned as she felt Derek's hand on her back. 'Hey,' she smiled, taking her frozen drink off him as he sat down. 'Mom, this is Derek.'

'The lab partner?' Ellis raised her eyebrows.

'Lovely to meet you, Dr. Grey. Properly this time.' Derek smiled, extending his hand across the table.

'That makes sense.' Ellis sighed, not taking his hand.

'What does?' asked Meredith, her hand slipping into Derek's and resting purposefully on the table in front of her mother.

'He's just as unfocused as you are. Meredith when will you learn.'

'Derek isn't unfocused. And neither am I. And that's not the point.'

'Well if you're asking for my permission-' Ellis began to laugh.

'I'm not.' Meredith cut her off, having a lot more confidence than she'd anticipated. The way her mother was immediately dismissing Derek was seriously pissing her off. 'I'm not asking for your permission, I'm just telling you what's already happening.'

'Happening for how long?' her mom smiled smugly.

'Three and a half months.'

'Oh Meredith you're so naïve,' she rolled her eyes.

'Don't patronise me.'

'So you're telling me all the time you were at home you think he hasn't strayed.'

'Yes. Actually, no. I don't think. I know.'

'And how do you know?' her mom continued with a patronising smile on her face.

'Because I trust him. And he trusts me.'

'You really are a child, aren't you?'

'No.' she shook her head. 'I'm not. And I know you wouldn't be happy about me having a boyfriend because it will distract me from studying or whatever, but I wont have you sit there and accuse Derek of being unfaithful.'

'I never accused him of anything.'

'You insinuated.'

'Because you need a reality check.'

'Mom, it's normal for people to date. I don't need a reality check.'

'So then, Derek,' her mom turned to her boyfriend.

'Yes, Ma'am.'

'How long did it take you to worm your way into her pants?'

'Mom!' Meredith gasped.

'You're not exactly a challenge, Meredith.'

'I didn't worm my way anywhere,' Derek frowned. 'I fell in love with your daughter, Dr. Grey, and I make no apologies for that.'

'Love.' Ellis laughed.

'Yes, I'm in love with her.' He nodded.

'And you believe that?' she turned to Meredith.

'Yes, I do.'

'Good lord, Meredith.' Her mom sighed, running a hand through her hair.

'I love him, mom. And I want to be with him. We're serious about each other, and I wanted you to know because he's a really big part of my life now.'

'Hmmmm.'

'I…' she glanced at Derek who gave her an encouraging smile. 'We're serious, mom.'

'I hope you don't come running back to me when it all ends in tears.' She said coldly.

'It won't do that, don't worry.' Derek shook his head.

'Excuse me?'

'End in tears. Well, I hope it doesn't end at all.' He squeezed Meredith's hand and smiled at her warmly. 'I'm very serious about your daughter, Dr. Grey, and I know we're only young but-'

'Young? You're still children.'

'There I disagree,' he said calmly. 'I'm twenty two years old.'

'Your point?' she frowned.

'My father married my mom when he was twenty three, and while I'm not proposing to her or suggesting marriage just yet,' he laughed. 'I am very in love with her and want to be with her.'

'What does your father do?'

'Excuse me?'

'Your father. What is his occupation?'

'Oh,' Derek breathed, and Meredith squeezed his hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. 'Unfortunately he passed away not long ago. But he owned a store.'

'Owned a store.' Ellis nodded. 'There you go.'

'What?' frowned Derek.

'He obviously lacked drive and ambition other wise he would have chosen a more challenging path.'

'I don't think my father is any of your business.' Derek said firmly.

'I was just proving a point, dear.' Ellis smiled patronisingly.

'Are you suggesting that Meredith couldn't have a career as a surgeon and be happily in a relationship?'

'Well, this is Meredith we're talking about- she probably couldn't have a career as a surgeon anyway.'

'What did you just say?' Derek said sharply as Meredith felt like the ground was about to swallow her up. Her eyes were welling with tears as her mom basically called her stupid in front of her boyfriend.

'Meredith.'

'Yes, I heard what you said. I just cant believe you actually said it.' Derek moved his hand from Meredith's to put his arm tightly around her.

'I'm just being honest.'

'You're being ridiculous. Of course Meredith will make it as a surgeon, If that's what she wants. And if it isn't, she could succeed in any arena she wanted to.'

'You obviously don't know her very well.'

'No, _you_ don't know her very well. I don't think you're aware in the slightest how amazing your daughter is. Or the things she can achieve. She is loving and she is kind and she is funny, and if that to you defines unfocused then…. She gets extremely good grades and has a pleasant relationship with all of her professors, and gets along well with the majority of her class. You should be extremely proud of her.'

'I don't have time for this whimsical declaration of love or whatever this is.'

'And we don't have time for your pure rudeness.' Derek shook his head. 'Come on, Mer, let's go.'

'Okay.' She breathed, grabbing for his hand with hers, and her drink with the other.

'Don't let us take up any more of your time,' he turned to her mom. 'And yes, I love your daughter very much, and would do anything to protect her and make her happy. Thanks for asking.' He smiled sarcastically, before they walked away. Meredith wasn't expecting them to walk out on her mom, but she had to admit, the way Derek defended her made her heart pound, and she didn't care about her mom anymore, only Derek. Derek who loved her and would always be there for her. He'd said before his dad had married his mom at twenty three, and while it was way, way too early to even be thinking about marriage, it did give her hope that Derek was right that they would last forever. That she had found the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with, so young.

'Thank you,' she whispered once they got outside.

'Are you okay?' he breathed, pulling her into a hug.

'Yeah.' She nodded into his chest. 'I love you.'

'I love you too,' he breathed, kissing the top of her head. 'God I love you so much.'

'I'm sorry.'

'God Mer… you don't have anything to be sorry for… she's… horrible.'

'I know.'

'I cant believe she said those things about you.'

'That's pretty normal.'

'No it's not.'

'For her, it is.'

'Well not for us, okay? And not for you anymore, I'm not having it.'

'It's just how she is.' She shrugged.

'I'm not having her upsetting you.' He cupped her cheek and his thumb wiped the single tear away on her face.

'Okay,' she murmured.

'Do you want to talk about it or go home and talk about it later?'

'Later.' She nodded. 'Right now I just want to lay with you.'

'Okay, we can definitely do that.' He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She breathed, leaning into him as he hugged her tight before putting his arm around her shoulder as they walked back to his dorm.

 _Thank you for reading, pls review X_


	54. Chapter 55

_Hey guys, thank you for reading! MerDer are definitely back to being happy in this chapter... hope you enjoy_

Meredith lay snuggled into Derek's chest, her arms wrapped around him as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She hadn't expected him to defend her to her mom like that, and it was weird, because her mom was her only family, except she felt so much more at home with Derek. She didn't really care that she'd walked away from her mom, because she believed Derek when he said that he would always love her and look after her.

He ran his hands gently up and down her arm before tipping her chin up to kiss her. 'Love you.' He breathed.

'Love you too.' She whispered, smiling at him.

'You okay?' he asked, pressing his lips to hers softly.

'Yeah,' she said genuinely.

'Good.'

'Did your dad really marry your mom when he was twenty three?' she asked, reaching for his hand.

'Yeah.' He smiled.

'So your mom was only nine-teen?'

'Yep.'

'Wow…' she breathed. 'That's younger than me.'

'I know.' He laughed softly.

'It's weird.'

'I know. People used to get married a lot younger.'

'She's not that old, Derek.' She giggled.

'I know.' He rolled his eyes. 'I'm just saying.'

'I know.' She whispered.

'I still can't believe she said those things about you,' he murmured, squeezing her hand. 'Don't listen to her,' he whispered, moving to kiss just below her ear.

'I wont.'

'I mean it. Don't listen to what she says about you.'

'I know.'

'She's wrong.'

'Okay,' she breathed, squeezing his hands which rested around her waist.

'I love you.'

'I love you too. Thank you.'

'I didn't do anything.'

'You make me feel loved.' She whispered, turning in his arms to face him, resting a hand gently on his cheek. 'I'm so in love with you.'

'I'm so in love with you too,' he murmured, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her.

'Hmmm,' she smiled, leaning to kiss him gently. 'So she didn't scare you away?'

'No.' he laughed. 'I told you nothing would.'

'Thank you,'

'You're welcome.' He grinned. 'And forget about the fight, I'm totally over it.'

'You are?' she whispered, shuffling closer to him slightly.

'Yeah,' he nodded. 'Well, as long as I can still fuck your boobs later.' He smirked.

'Of course.' She giggled. 'You can do whatever you want later.'

'Oh I can, can I?' he raised an eyebrow.

'Uh-huh.' She nodded. 'You're going to get very lucky.'

'Good.' He kissed her gently. 'Do you want to talk to your mom before she goes?' he asked quietly.

'No,' she shook her head.

'Are you sure? I know I kind of stormed us out of there.'

'I wanted to leave,' she admitted, tracing the outline of his jaw with her fingers.

'Okay.'

'She doesn't care.' She sighed. 'But you do. So I know where I'd rather be.' She giggled slightly.

'Of course I care.' He ran his hands up and down her smooth sides.

'I love you.' She smiled.

'I love you too.'

'Do you really want me to come to Thanksgiving?'

'Of course. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't.'

'I've never had one before,' she said softly, her breath touching his face.

'A what?'

'A Thanksgiving.'

'Wait- seriously?'

'Yeah,' she shrugged. 'I mean, unless I had one when I was a baby, which I doubt unless it was just me and my dad. My mom will have been working.'

'Okay, you're going to love it.' He laughed.

'I am?' she bit her lip nervously.

'Mer it's basically a day of eating, you're going to be I heaven.'

'Shut up.' She giggled, wrapping her leg around his. 'What about the family stuff?'

'What do you mean?' he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

'I don't know what to do.'

'Okay, all that we do in our family is sit together in the living room before dinner and then during dinner we go around the table and say what we're thankful for, and then it's like any other family dinner.'

'So it's just the normal family.'

'Well, this year its obviously the normal sisters etc, then my uncle Stanley and Aunt Brenda and their families and my grandma Margret. So you'll know almost everyone.'

'Okay.'

'And they all love you.'

'I think Liv's pissed with me.' She said quietly.

'What?' he frowned.

'I mean she didn't say anything… or anything… but she was off with me after our fight…'

'She's just being over protective.' Derek shook his head. 'Her and Imogen think I don't know, but they get like that. But we're good now, so she'll be fine.'

'Hmmmm.'

'Do you want me to talk to her?'

'No. No.' she shook her head. 'No.'

'Okay,' he laughed softly. 'But I promise you she wont be pissed.'

'She seemed it.'

'I was upset.' He shrugged. 'I'm her brother, she's going to be pissed at someone who hurt me. But she really likes you Mer.'

'I really like her too.' She said quietly.

'I promise she isn't actually pissed at you. Be thankful it wasn't Imogen, she's even worse.' He laughed. 'But she'll get over it.'

'Good.' She whispered. 'I don't want your family to hate me.'

'They don't.' he shook his head. 'They love you.'

'Hmmmm.'

'My mom adores you.'

'I love her.' She said quietly.

'I know you do.'

'I… do you know any more about Lara and Jake?'

'Liv thinks they're going to break up.' He sighed.

'Oh.'

'I know.' He squeezed her tightly, kissing her temple.

'That's sad.'

'I know.'

'He's nice.'

'I like him.' Derek nodded. 'But La will be okay.'

'Are you happy she's staying in New York?'

'Very.' He nodded. 'I mean, Liv's going to be there for at least another year and a half, but then she might move for med school so then Lara will be there with my mom.'

'Yeah.' Meredith whispered. 'Do you think Liv will move?'

'I don't know.' He sighed.

'Do you think we will?' she asked quietly.

'I don't know.' He repeated. 'We'll start looking soon.'

'I… together…' she blurted.

'What?' he laughed softly.

'I want to go together.'

'I thought we already discussed this?' he smiled.

'I know… but we didn't talk about it properly, and I… I want us to go together. Unless we don't both get in, which I'm sure we will because our grades are pretty much the same. But I don't want us to go to different ones, even if they're in the same state or whatever. I want to be with you. We're a unit or whatever.'

He smiled softly at her and leant to kiss her gently. 'I want that too.'

'I really want this, Der. You. I want you.'

'I want you too.' He smiled. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She breathed.

 _Thanks for reading pls review X_


	55. Chapter 56

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and pleaseeee review, it makes my day!_

Meredith smiled as she snuck her cell phone back in her pocket after replying to her boyfriend. Things were really great with them right now, and while she had _hated_ fighting with him, things were even better with them now than they were before. It had made them a lot stronger, and Derek meeting her mom had gone the complete opposite of how she'd imagined. He seemed to love her even more, and wanted to show her all the time. He was affectionate at the best of times, but now they were touching constantly, like, all the time. She never thought she'd be one of those pda kind of people, but with Derek she couldn't help it. She was always holding his hand or sat in his lap or leant against him, and it was amazing.

He was coming over tonight for movie and pizza and then assumedly lots of sex. Lots and lots of sex. It was almost impossible for her to be with him for a substantial amount of time without having sex at the minute. It was crazy. And she'd slept with a lot of people for her age, but nothing compared to Derek. She wanted him all the freaking time, and it never ever got boring. She'd always thought sleeping with only one person was boring, but it was anything but. He was actually really dirty, which she had never expected of him, being his geeky self, but he was willing to do anything she was. Plus, he connected with her in a way no one else had before, she had fallen so completely in love with him and it made any kind of sex a thousand times better. Especially the slow stuff.

It was crazy, because they'd only been dating four and a half months, and this was her first kind of relationship ever; but she really couldn't imagine her life without Derek. Ever. They had agreed to start looking at med schools together after Christmas, and she wasn't sure where she wanted to go, all she knew was that she wanted to go with him. She had no idea if it was normal to feel this way about your first boyfriend, or if she really had met the love of her life; because she was feeling really big things with him that she never thought she would feel with anyone, despite only being nine-teen years old. Everyone probably felt this way about their fist love, Lara probably thought this about Jake, which made her kind of sad. Because how many people do you know that end up spending the rest of their lives with their college boyfriend? Probably not a lot. But she couldn't imagine ever not loving Derek, and so medical school together was natural.

It was only two weeks until he was taking her home for Thanksgiving, and she was a little nervous, despite his constant reassurance. Apparently Alison made nothing but amazing food all day long and all they did was sit around and talk, which did sound good. And she was getting more and more comfortable with his family, his grandma had been really nice. But she was still nervous about meeting his Aunts and Uncles, and especially his cousins. She had no real experience with kids apart from being one herself, while she could already imagine Derek being amazing with them. Plus, she was still wary of Liv, she had seen and looked after Derek when she had hurt him the most, and she didn't know if she would ever forgive her for causing that. And she'd probably told Imogen too, which was great. Her two favourite sisters probably hated her and that would make it a lot harder to be in his home.

Lara had called them on her birthday to thank them for her gifts, and she'd seemed really grateful and had been really sweet on the phone, so hopefully things wouldn't be too awkward. It was weird, she felt like they were her own family now, except they weren't, they were Derek's. And that would be the case every time her and Derek fought.

She sighed, glancing around the library as she waited for her friends. They were meant to be meeting her before class to do the preparation reading, but apparently Izzie and Alex had had a fight last night, so Cristina was probably still dragging her out of bed. She walked over to the vending machine and pressed the button for a lemonade as her cell buzzed in her pocket. Derek. She smiled as she opened the message:

 _-Movies tomorrow? X_

 _-Sure, what movie? X_

 _-New Star Wars is out…. X_

 _-You have got to be kidding me_

 _-Please? X_

 _-Seriously? X_

 _-Please baby, I love you X_

 _-Hmmmm X_

 _-Please? X_

 _-If we sit at the back will you finger me half way through? X_

She smirked as she typed the last message, sitting down with her drink as her friends came into view.

'Hey,' she smiled.

'Hey,' said Cristina, sitting opposite her and dumping her textbook on the table.

'Hey Iz,'

'Hey,' Izzie breathed, sitting next to Cristina. 'Muffin?'

'Muffin?' Meredith laughed as Izzie pulled out a bag of chocolate muffins. 'Sure. Thanks.'

'No problem.' She replied, taking one for herself and stuffing it into her mouth.

'How's things with Alex?' she dared to ask, biting into the cake.

'Okay.' Izzie smiled. 'Except he's a fucking ass.'

'Oh,' she laughed slightly at her friend's tone.

'I'm not talking to him. I can't be bothered right now.'

'I see.' Meredith nodded.

'But you can be bothered to go on about it all the time.' Cristina rolled her eyes.

'Shut up,' Meredith laughed. 'Boy problems are stressful.'

'Right?!' said Izzie, reaching for another muffin.

'Very stressful.' Meredith nodded.

'This is why I don't bother.' Cristina mused, flipping to the page in the textbook. 'I thought it was bad when their tongues were down each other's throats, this is even worse.'

'You'll be fine in no time.' Meredith smiled, squeezing her friends hand.

'When he stops being an ass.' Izzie groaned.

'He will.' She reassured her. 'It's only been one day.'

'True.' She sighed.

'I bet in no time he'll be turning up at the apartment with flowers and apologising to you.'

'He already did that.' Cristina said flatly.

'What?' she breathed.

'I was still mad, okay?!' said Izzie, to which Cristina rolled her eyes.

'Oh Iz,' Meredith laughed softly. 'You'll be fine. He's sorry, and when you're ready to accept it, it'll be fine.'

'Yeah.' She whispered.

'I was the ass with me and Derek, and he didn't take my first apology either. But Alex will give you some space and then you can try and work things out again.'

'You think?'

'I do.' She smiled.

'Oh great, so now they're gonna get even worse like you and Brain Boy.'

'Shut up,' Meredith laughed. 'We're happy.'

'It's disgusting.' Her friend winced.

'You're just jealous,' she smiled, taking another bite of the muffin Izzie had given her. 'These are so good, Iz.'

'Thanks.' She grinned. 'I made them last night.'

'And by last night she means two am.' Cut in Cristina.

'I bake when I'm stressed, okay?'

'I am not complaining.' Meredith laughed licking some of the chocolate off her finger.

'What do you guys want for dinner tonight?' asked Izzie, still yet to open her textbook.

'Derek's coming round tonight,' Meredith shook her head. 'we're getting pizza so I'm good thanks.'

'Cris?'

'Whatever.' She shrugged. 'As long as I don't have to help.'

'I'll do everything.' Izzie nodded. 'What time is Derek coming over?' she turned to Meredith.

'Not sure.' She shrugged. 'He knows we have class until five.'

'Please try to refrain from having sex while we are eating dinner.' Cristina winced.

'I'll try,' Meredith giggled.

'At least someone's getting some.' Izzie rolled her eyes.

'Are you serious?' Cristina raised her eyebrows. 'you'll be fucking with the ass by tomorrow, latest.'

'Nope,' Izzie shook her head. 'My panties are staying on for now.'

'You say that now,' Meredith laughed. 'Make up sex is better than regular sex.'

'Ew.' Said Cristina.

'Seriously,' Meredith nodded. 'I mean, me and Derek… it's always been amazing… but since the fight… its like a thousand times better.'

'I still don't believe you that he's that good in bed.' Cristina shook her head.

'Are you for real?'

'He's just… nerdy.'

'Cristina he made me come five times last night in one round.'

'Seriously?' Izzie gasped.

'Yes.' Meredith laughed.

'Okay so fuck Alex, I want Derek.'

'Nope, he's mine.' Meredith giggled.

'Five times? Seriously?' frowned Cristina.

'Yep. He's amazing.'

'Does he not get boring?'

'No,' Meredith shook her head. 'It's… I don't know…'

'Do you never want to fuck anyone else?'

'No. I cant imagine sleeping with anyone else, ever.'

'Ever?' Izzie breathed.

'No,' Meredith shrugged. 'He makes me really happy.'

'You guys are so cute.' Izzie smiled.

'Disgusting.' Corrected Cristina.

'Thanks,' Meredith couldn't help but blush. 'He asked me to go to New York with him for Thanksgiving.'

'He did?' Izzie smiled.

'Yep.'

'Are you gonna go?' Cristina asked.

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'I'm a bit nervous but… yeah I want to go.'

'I love Thanksgiving.' Groaned Izzie. 'The food is so good.'

'I've never really done it before.' Meredith shrugged.

'What?' Izzie gasped.

'Yeah, we just spent the day drinking last year.' She nodded to Cristina. 'And my mom… we never really did Thanksgiving.'

'Seriously?' Izzie turned to Cristina. 'You don't do Thanksgivings either?'

'No.' She shrugged.

'Okay, so we are totally doing it in the apartment this year.'

'Thanksgiving?' Cristina frowned. 'Just the two of us?'

'Yeah! Well, Alex can come too.'

'I thought you guys weren't talking?' Meredith smirked.

'Shut up,' Izzie laughed. 'It will be fun!' she beamed at Cristina.

'Eh,' she sighed.

'It won't be as good as a proper family Thanksgiving, but it will be better than you sitting doing nothing.'

'Since when did we turn all happy?'

'Since Mer, the most dark and twisty of us all fell in love with a boy.' Izzie laughed.

'Shut up,' Meredith blushed.

'I hate being the only single one.' Cristina groaned. 'It's no fun.'

'Shall we go out tomorrow?' asked Meredith. 'The Dublin or something?'

'That sounds fun.' Izzie nodded.

'She'll probably be having sex with Alex.' Cristina rolled her eyes.

'I can put making up off another day.' Izzie shrugged. 'Drinking sounds fun.'

'It does.' Nodded Meredith. 'I haven't been drunk in too long.'

'Me neither.' Cristina sighed. 'This semester is kicking my ass.'

'Shit I can't do tomorrow,' Meredith breathed, remembering her plans with Derek as her cell buzzed. 'I'm going to the movies with Derek.'

'What you seeing?' Asked Izzie, getting out yet another muffin.

'Star wars,' she rolled her eyes, not being able to hold back a giggle.

'Star Wars?' Both of her friends pulled a face.

'Yeah.' She sighed.

'You're choosing Star Wars over getting drunk?' Cristina asked flatly.

'I'm choosing my hot boyfriend fingering me in the back of a movie theatre over getting drunk.' She laughed.

'Ew too much information.'

'Hot though,' Izzie breathed. 'I never had Derek down for dirty.'

'Me neither.' Meredith giggled. 'But he is.'

'Okay I'm drawing a line here with you and the sex talk.'

'She cant help she's getting good sex.' Admitted Izzie.

'Great sex.' Meredith corrected. 'Mind blowing sex. The best sex.'

'What's Alex like in bed?' Cristina turned to Izzie.

'Seriously?'

'Yeah.' Cristina nodded. 'Brain boy who looks crap is apparently amazing, so maybe Alex who looks all angry in bed is actually shit.'

'He's good.' Izzie nodded. 'Really good.'

'Bet he's not as good as Derek.' Meredith giggled.

'Bet he is.' Izzie nodded.

'I doubt it.' She smirked. 'Have you ever come five times in one round?'

'Well no,' admitted Izzie. 'But he is really good. And big.'

'Derek's big.' Meredith giggled. 'Very big.'

'Mer seriously I don't want to picture Brain Boy's dick.'

'Yeah don't do that,' she shook her head. 'It's mine.'

'I'm not exactly fighting you for it.'

'Well you should be,' she blushed. 'It's amazing.'

'I bet Alex is better.' Izzie repeated.

'I thought you were mad at him?' Meredith laughed.

'I am.' Izzie frowned. 'But it doesn't mean I can deny he's good in bed.'

'Seriously can we stop talking about which one is better in bed and actually do the reading now?' groaned Cristina.

'I know!' Izzie gasped. 'You can test it!'

'What?' Cristina's face dropped.

'Who's better in bed!'

'What?' echoed Meredith. 'You might be okay sharing Alex, but she is not going near my Derek.'

'Ew no,' Izzie cringed. 'But she lives with us. Who sounds like they're having the best sex?'

'Seriously?' Cristina frowned.

'Yeah. Who sounds like they're having the best sex?'

'I can't believe you're asking me this.' She sighed.

'Who does sound like they're having the best sex?' Asked Meredith, curiously.

'Probably you.' Cristina nodded.

'Ha!' Meredith squealed.

'No way,' frowned Izzie.

'She does make some pretty wild noises. And don't tell me you don't hear the fucking headboard banging every night.'

'So?'

'It sounds crazier than yours.' Cristina shrugged.

'I knew it.' Meredith smirked. 'Derek is a God.'

'Shut up while I puke.' Smiled Izzie sarcastically.

'Does the headboard really bang that loudly?' she turned to Cristina, seriously.

'Are you fucking kidding? It keeps me awake.'

'Sorry.' She blushed.

'Maybe tell Brain Boy to be a little less forceful.'

'I am definitely not doing that.' She giggled.

'Ew I do not need that mental image.' Cristina buried her face into her book as Meredith felt someone walk into the back of her chair, causing her to jump.

'Is this seat taken?' came a familiar voice from behind her. 'Oh wait, I forgot… you don't care about that. You just take things anyway.'

'Rose,' she breathed, as Derek's ex-girlfriend walked around her and placed her hands on the spare chair at their desk. 'Hi.'

'Hi.' She smiled sarcastically, looking Meredith in the eye. She felt so awkward it was unbelievable, she'd literally been sat bragging about how good her boyfriend was in bed when his ex had been behind her. The ex who probably hated her, with good reason. 'So do you make a habit of stealing people's boyfriends or was Derek an exception?'

'I…' she stuttered, not expecting the direct challenge.

'Because from what I've heard, you like to get around.'

'Oh.' She breathed, glancing at her friends quickly, before meeting Rose's gaze.

'I never really had Derek down as the kind of guy to like whores.' She shrugged. 'But I guess it explains things.'

'I'm sorry, Rose.' She said quietly, not really knowing what else to say. She seemed to have gone two months at school without running into Derek's ex, and she should have known it was only a matter of time before this happened. She glanced over to the desk to their right, three girls sat watching them, whispering, one of them being Addison Montgomery, great.

'You're sorry?' she laughed. 'You steal my boyfriend and you're "sorry"?'

'I am… Rose… I didn't mean to come between you guys.. I never meant to hurt you.'

'So you thought I'd be happy about you fucking him?'

'I didn't sleep with him.' She said quickly, shaking her head. 'I swear… I didn't sleep with him.'

'Apparently you said that about Kyle too.' Rose said snidely, and Meredith caught a glance at Addison smirking at her from the table.

'I….'

'Tell Derek he's a fucking asshole too.'

'Oh.'

'Does he know how many people you've slept with?'

'What?' she breathed, feeling tears stinging her eyes. She didn't want to cry, she wasn't prepared for a fight with Rose, especially not with more and more people in the library looking.

'Derek,' she nodded. 'Is he aware that you've slept with half the grade?'

Rose was a bitch. She hadn't minded her when she'd been with Derek, apart from the fact she was obviously jealous that she was with Derek. But she was being a bitch. Of course she was going to be angry with Meredith, she'd kissed her boyfriend and now they were happy and serious and of course Rose was going to be angry. But she was causing a scene in the library and calling her a whore and insulting Derek.

'I don't think it's any of your business what's between me and my boyfriend.' She frowned.

'Except the whole sophomore year knows,' Rose laughed.

'Okay,' she sighed. 'I'm really, really, sorry Rose. I'm sorry things with you and Derek didn't work out and I'm sorry for my part in it. I am.'

'I don't want an apology.'

'Well then I'm not sure how much I can help you.'

'How long was it going on?'

'What?' Meredith laughed.

'You and Derek.'

'We… it was like he told you… the night you guys broke up.'

'You really expect me to believe that?' she raised her eyebrows.

'It's the truth.' Meredith protested.

'So all those times you watched movies together, lay in bed together, you seriously expect me to believe nothing happened between you two?'

'Yes because it didn't.' she said indignantly.

'I'm not stupid, Meredith.'

'I swear, I mean… I'm not going to lie and say I didn't wish something happened sooner, because I did. But it didn't.' she shook her head.

'You're almost as bad of a liar as he is.'

'I… I'm sorry Rose. I don't know what else you want from me.'

'Everyone knows you're a slut.'

'You already made that clear.' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'And just so you know, when you fuck Derek over, I'll be the first one to rub it in his face.'

'Fuck off,' Meredith snapped.

'Unless you already have?' Rose smirked.

'What?' Meredith frowned.

'It would be a miracle if you'd managed to keep your legs shut this long.'

'They're very much open for my boyfriend. But only my boyfriend.'

'Right,' Rose scoffed.

'Fuck off, Rose. I know you're mad at me or whatever, and that's fine. I'd be mad at me too. But mine and Derek's relationship really isn't any of your business.'

'Awww your relationship.' Rose mocked. 'You'll probably just screw each other over anyway. He's just as bad as you.'

'I think you need to shut up.'

'Make me.' Rose dared.

'Shut up about my boyfriend.' Meredith said firmly, beginning to stand from her chair.

'Mer,' breathed Izzie. 'Sit down, she's not worth it.'

'She needs to shut the fuck up about Derek. I'm sorry Rose, I really am, I'm sorry that he loves me and not you, but you need to get over it. It was months ago.'

'Aw he loves you does he?' Rose laughed.

'Yes.' Meredith said, damning herself for her voice wavering slightly. 'He does.'

'Cute.'

'Seriously, Rose. This isn't doing any good. Go out find yourself someone new, get over Derek.'

'Babes I don't need telling to be over him,' she laughed. 'I wouldn't go near him with a barge pole.'

'Good. Because he's mine.'

'You do realise how pathetic you sound, right?'

'I think you've got that the other way around.'

'He cheated on me and he'll cheat on you.'

'Seriously I get that you're mad at me for stealing him or whatever, but get a grip and keep your nose out of my relationship. You were with him for what, two months? We've already doubled that, and Derek's a good guy. You know that.'

'Yeah, such a good guy that he cheated on me with his "best friend".'

'He apologised for that, and he knew he was wrong. We didn't mean for it to happen and he told you as soon as it did! You're making it out like we had some sordid affair or something. It was a kiss!'

'You literally have no girl code do you?' Rose narrowed her eyes.

'Are you joking me?' Meredith spat. 'I was nice to you the whole time you were with Derek even though I was in love with him. Even when I was jealous of you I still gave you the spare key to his apartment! And I sat there listening to him talk about you, encouraging him to date you. So stop making out like I've been a bitch to you because I haven't. I'm really sorry things ended the way they did between you, and as I said I'm sorry for my part in it. Now, we were trying to study. You can have the seat no problem.'

She sat down and turned her back to Rose, not wanting to hear her reply. She heard her mutter something under her breath before turning back to sit with Addison and whoever else. Her cheeks were hot and red and she was very embarrassed, not that she would admit that right now. She kind of wished she'd been able to keep a cool and be civil towards Derek's ex girlfriend, but the moment she'd started mocking their relationship and insulting Derek, she felt a fire inside her that forced her to defend him. He'd felt so bad about the way things ended with Rose and he genuinely hadn't meant to hurt her, but she'd ignored every one of his calls over summer and didn't want to hear an apology. Which she guessed was fair enough, but she was still pissed.

They probably deserved it, they'd hurt her, and she knew if Derek ever kissed someone else she'd be furious too. But bringing up all the people she'd slept with before Derek really wasn't relevant and it had pissed her right off. Almost as if she wasn't good enough for him because she'd slept around a bit. Like Derek would never want anything to do with a whore. But she hadn't slept with anyone else since before Christmas last year, she'd gone a whole six months of not sleeping with anyone before she'd began dating Derek, and he was the only one she wanted.

All the way through class she couldn't concentrate, just thinking about the way Rose had looked at her, asked her about the people she'd slept with, the smirk on her face. It made her want to punch her in the face. It was none of Rose's business. And anyway, she wasn't a whore anymore, she had seen the light or whatever and she was in a happy, serious, faithful relationship.

She was supposed to text Derek when she was back from class and he was going to set off and stop at the pizza place on the way over, but she couldn't be bothered waiting to see him, so just walked straight to his apartment. She knocked before opening the door, Mark and Tim sat on the couch.

'Hey guys,' she smiled, closing the door behind her. 'Der in his room.'

'Yeah,' nodded Tim.

'Thanks.' she breathed, pushing her boyfriend's door open and immediately launching herself on his bed and into his arms. 'Hey,' she murmured into his neck, wrapping her arms around him.

'Hey.' he smiled, hugging her close to him, kissing her forehead. 'You okay?'

'Do you care how many people I've slept with?' she looked up at him, her faces millimeters from his.

'What?' he breathed.

'Answer the question, Derek?'

'No, no. Of course not.' he rubbed his hand up her arm softly.

'And you know I'll never cheat on you, right?'

'Mer-' he frowned before she cut him off.

'Answer the question!'

'Okay,' he nodded, moving his hand to her hair to run through it gently. 'I know you'll never cheat on me.'

'And you'll never cheat on me either?' she asked hopefully, her eyes big.

'Of course not baby.' he murmured, kissing her gently. 'Where's all this come from?'

'Nothing.' she pouted, kissing his cheek.

'Mer,' he tilted his head to the side.

'Fine. Rose.' she sighed.

'Rose?' he pulled back a little to look at her properly.

'I saw her in the library.'

'Oh.' he whispered, pulling her closer to him again, wrapping his arm around her tightly as she laid her head on his chest.

'She started fighting with me.'

'Oh Mer,'

'And she basically called me a whore and asked if you knew how many people I've slept with.' she whimpered, burying her head in his sweater as his hands rubbed her back comfortingly.

'Mer,' he breathed.

'And then she said you would cheat on me. And that I'd cheat on you. So we'd basically cheat on each other.'

'Wait, you know that's never going to happen.' he said, taking her face in his hands. 'Ever.'

'I know.' she nodded. 'I love you and I trust you and you know I would never cheat on you, ever. I love you. But the things she said...' she shook her head.

'Baby listen to me,' he breathed, looking into her eyes. 'I love you. And I'm in this. Rose is just... bitter. And she probably has a right to be because what I did was wrong. What we did was wrong. But it has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship or how it's going to end. Okay?'

'Okay.' she whispered as he kissed her softly.

'Ignore her.'

'I know.' she whispered, kissing him again. 'People were watching and her friends were laughing.'

'They don't matter.'

'I know.' she whispered.

'You have me, and you have Izzie, and Cristina, and Alex and Sarah. Who cares what Rose and her friends think?'

'I know.' she repeated. 'I haven't actually seen Sarah yet this semester. I keep texting her but we haven't met up.'

'Maybe try and see her this week?' he kissed her temple.

'Yeah.' she breathed, reaching for his hand.

'Seriously, we're good, Mer. And you never have to worry about what happened with Rose happening with you. I love you so much I could never think of wanting to be with anyone else.'

'Me neither.' she whispered.

'And anyway, we have better sex so she should be jealous.' he teased.

'Derek!' she giggled.

'What? We do.' he laughed.

'That's not the point.' she grinned, tipping her head up to kiss him.

'I know.' he smiled. 'Just wanted to make you laugh.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'No, I really love you.' She giggled, rolling on top of him.

'I really love you too.' he beamed, his hands moving down her body to rest on her jean covered ass.

'I really, really, really, love you.'

'I really, really, really, love you too.'

'I love you more.' she teased, kissing his nose.

'Not this again.' he rolled his eyes, but his hands squeezing her sides.

'Yes, this again.' she giggled, leaning to press kisses all over his face, not being able to help smiling as he held her. She couldn't explain how happy she was when she was with him, how he had the power to instantly lift her mood and make her feel okay. She knew he loved her and she knew he would never hurt her, and she had felt confident in defending her relationship to Rose. She never knew she could be this happy with someone, or want so many big things, but she knew that whatever she wanted in life, it was with Derek.

 _Thank you for reading! Pls review X_


	56. Chapter 57

_Hi guys! I'm sorry if there are any typos in this chapter, but I really hope you love it. It was so much fun to write and I would really appreciate a review on it! Thank you so much for reading and thank you to those of you who always review, you know who you are!_

Derek grinned as he buried his nose in his girlfriends lavender scented hair, holding her close as they pulled up outside his house. It was Thanksgiving, and more importantly, Meredith's first ever Thanksgiving. She'd been really excited about coming, he knew that, but he could also tell that she was nervous. She had clung to him the whole flight, her arms wrapped around his waist as she cuddled into his side, not letting him go for a second. She loved his family, she got on really well with his sisters and his mom and grandmother both adored her, but the big family things still freaked her out, and she was still nervous about seeing Liv.

He couldn't believe she'd never had a proper Thanksgiving before, and he wanted to make sure it was absolutely perfect for her, because she deserved nothing less. And so he pressed his lips to her forehead softly, hugging her close to him.

'It's going to be fine, Mer. Just a normal family dinner.' He murmured, before pressing his lips to her warm skin again.

'Stop saying that.' She breathed into his sweater. 'It's not a normal family dinner, that's the whole point.'

'It's really nothing big, Mer. You'll be comfortable I swear, I wouldn't bring you if I didn't think you wouldn't be.'

'I know you wouldn't.' She mumbled, reaching for his hand. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He leaned to kiss her gently as she tipped her head up to face him. 'It's okay if you need to freak out, but I promise you'll see there's nothing to worry about.'

'Kay.' She whispered.

'And I won't leave your side unless you want me to.'

'Promise?'

'I promise.' He breathed, kissing her again.

'Okay.' She took a deep breath. 'Okay.'

'Ready?'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'Just... you'll still love me... even if I mess this up, right?'

'Of course I will still love you.'

'Promise?'

'Promise. But you're not going to mess this up. You know nearly everybody.'

'I know.' She whispered. 'I just wish these things didn't freak me out... I was normal.'

'Hey, I don't want you any other way.' He said, cradling her face in his hands. 'I love you just the way you are.'

'Even with my dark and twisty?'

'With your darkest darks and your twistiest twisties.' He laughed.

'Twistiest isn't a word, Derek.' She giggled.

'Neither is twisties but you say it.' He laughed, stroking her cheek softly with his thumb. 'You okay?'

'Yeah.' She whispered. 'I have you.'

'You'll always have me.' He smiled. 'You're going to love it, I promise.' He squeezed her hand as he pulled her out of the back of mark's car.

'Kay.' She breathed, gripping his hand tightly as they approached the open door where Alison was stood waiting for them.

'Hello sweethearts,' she grinned, pulling Derek in for a tight hug. 'I've missed you so much, Derek.'

'I've missed you too, Ma.' He smiled, kissing his mom on the cheek as he pulled back slightly.

'You're looking very well.' She stroked his cheek briefly.

'She looks after me,' Derek smirked as his mom moved to hug his girlfriend.

'Meredith dear, it's so lovely to see you.'

'Thanks Alison.' She smiled in his mothers arms.

'Derek tells me this is your first experience of a proper Thanksgiving.' She said, taking Meredith's hand loosely.

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith glanced quickly at him. 'It is.'

'You're going to love it, dear. I made your favourite cookies and the mashed potatoes Derek said you like.'

'Oh,' she blushed. 'Thank you so much.'

'No problem at all dear,' his mom smiled warmly. 'It's always been my favourite holiday.'

'Really?' Meredith smiled.

'Yes.' She nodded. 'Closely followed by Christmas of course.'

'Oh,' his girlfriend breathed. 'I've never really had one of those either.'

'You have got to be kidding me,' his mother gasped. 'Derek, is this true?' She turned to him.

'Unfortunately.' He sighed, sharing sad smile with his girlfriend.

'We can't be having that this year.' Alison shook her head. 'You must come and spend the holidays with us.'

'Oh...' Meredith breathed, a small smile creeping across her features, the shock evident in her eyes.

'Unless of course you have plans?' His mom looked at her hopefully.

'Oh, no.' She shook her head, glancing at Derek, now grinning. 'That would be really nice, thank you. If it's okay...'

'Of course it's okay my dear.' His mom smiled warmly at her. 'You are part of our family now.'

'Oh.' His girlfriend grinned. 'Thank you.'

'It will make this one happier than any gift could make him anyway.' Alison laughed, gesturing towards her son.

'Thanks,' Meredith beamed.

'Now, do come in.' His mom tugged on her hand. 'I'll get the two of you a drink, I think your grandmothers in the kitchen, Derek.'

'Okay.' He said, following them in. 'Is everyone else here?'

'Yes, you three are the last ones.' His mom replied as they entered the living room. His sisters were scattered around the room, his Aunt Stanley and his wife on one couch, his aunt Brenda on another talking to Imogen, and the kids sat on the floor.

'Der!' Imogen gasped, jumping up and running to hug him.

'Hey you,' he breathed, hugging her close.

'Hey guys,' Lara grinned from her spot sat next to Claire, who also said hi.

'Hey,' Derek grinned from over Imogen's head, his mom stood with an arm around Meredith.

'This is Meredith,' she smiled toward her siblings.

'Hello,' smiled his uncle Stanley. 'I'm Stanley and I've sure heard a lot about you.'

'Oh.' Meredith blushed, clinging to his mom.

'All good,' he laughed. 'Don't worry.'

'Oh,' she giggled.

'We're just going to go to the kitchen,' Alison breathed, moving Meredith with her. 'We'll be back in a minute.'

'You okay?' Derek laughed at his sister who still had his arms wrapped around him.

'Yeah.' She breathed into his chest. 'Love you.'

'I love you too,' he frowned, rubbing her back. 'Is everything okay?'

'Yeah.' She insisted. 'I just love you.'

'I love you too.' He squeezed her. 'And you need to tell me all about Florida.'

'Yeah,' she laughed.

'I'm going to go get a drink and say hi to grandma, but then I'll come back and you can tell me all about it. Do you want anything?'

'No.' She sighed, not letting go of him.

'Im let me go.' He laughed.

'Don't want to.' She pouted.

'Seriously, is everything okay?'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'I told you, I just love you. And I've missed you.'

'I've missed you too.' He kissed the top of her head. 'Now let me go rescue Mer to make sure she's not having a nervous breakdown, she'll want to know all about your first semester too.'

'Urugh.' She sighed, dropping her arms from around him.

'What was that about?' He laughed.

'Nothing.' She rolled her eyes before joining her Aunt Brenda back on the couch.

'Hi Aunt Brenda,' he smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek on his way past.

'Hello handsome,' his Aunt grinned. 'How are you doing?'

'Good thank you.' He smiled. 'You?'

'I'm very well.' She nodded. 'I'm glad we finally get to meet Meredith,'

'Me too.' He couldn't help but grin.

'She's a pretty girl.'

'Oh I know.' He laughed. 'I'm just going to go find her if you'll excuse me.'

'Of course sweetheart.' She smiled as he continued to the kitchen, ruffling his little cousins hair on the way out.

'Derek Christopher! There you are!' His grandmother grinned as he entered the kitchen, his girlfriend stood next to her.

'Grandma,' he smiled instantly moving to hug her.

'How are you doing?'

'Good thanks.' He smiled, moving to wrap an arm around Meredith's waist.

'You certainly look it.' She laughed as Meredith passed him a glass of water.

'You wanted water right?' She asked quietly.

'Yeah, thank you.' He nodded, kissing her quickly.

'Your mom was just telling me Meredith will be joining us for Christmas.' Margret grinned, sipping her glass of port.

'Oh, yeah.' He smiled, squeezing Meredith's waist.

'How lovely,'

'Are you two all sorted?' Said Alison, appearing next to them.

'Yes thanks ma.'

'Have you told them about Lara and Jake?' His grandmother said quietly.

'No,' Alison sighed, turning to them. 'They've broken up.'

'What?' Derek gasped. 'Seriously? Already

'Yeah.' His mom sighed. 'She's upset but I think seeing everyone today has helped.'

'I didn't even notice he wasn't here.' Derek shook his head. 'Shit.'

'Language, Derek.'

'Sorry.' He breathed. 'I can't believe it. Poor Lara.'

'I know.' Sighed Alison.

'When?'

'Two weeks ago.'

'No way. I mean... I know you said they might but I didn't think they actually would...'

'Hmmm.' His mother nodded. 'She seems to be handling it quite well.'

'I'm assuming all the sisters know.'

'Yeah, they took her out shopping yesterday.'

'Good.' Derek nodded. 'I'll talk to her later.'

'Mark Jeremy!' Margret shouted as his brother came through the kitchen door.

'Grandma!' Mark grinned, hugging her.

'You look fantastic.'

'Thank you,' he smirked. 'I was always the better looking one.'

'In your dreams.' Derek rolled his eyes as Meredith giggled.

'Mark can I get you a drink sweetheart?' Alison asked.

'Have we got any beers?'

'We have...' she looked at him dubiously before getting him one out of the fridge. 'I was just telling these two, Lara and Jake have broken up.'

'What?' Mark frowned. 'Seriously?'

'Yes. Don't say anything, but they split two weeks ago.'

'He didn't cheat on her did he?'

'No of course not.' Alison shook her head.

'Good. I'd have killed him.'

'Me too.' Said Derek, squeezing Meredith into his side and planting a kiss to the top of her head.

'You'll be doing no such thing.' His mom said firmly.

'So I don't need to break his legs?' Mark raised an eyebrow.

'No, I think they're still friends.'

'Good.'

'Hmmm.' His mom sighed. 'I hope you're hungry, it's almost time for food.'

'I'm starving.' Mark nodded.

'Me too.' Said Derek.

'It smells lovely.' Meredith smiled.

'Thank you, Meredith.' Alison grinned. 'You guys might want to go and sit down to get a good seat.'

'Okay.' Derek grinned, slipping his hand into Meredith's. 'You sitting with us, grandma?'

'I would love to.' She smiled. 'Can I hold your other arm dear? My hips bothering me today.'

'Of course.' Derek extended his arm. 'Are you okay?'

'I am.' She nodded. 'It's just a little stiff.'

'Okay, let me know if you're not.'

'Of course sweetheart.' She kissed his cheek as they re entered the living room and made their way to the end of the table, well, tables that had been joined together to accommodate the whole family.

'There you go.' He breathed as his grandma sat down.

'Thank you, Derek.'

'You're welcome.' He smiled, pulling out the chair opposite for Meredith to sit down.

'Thanks.' She breathed, sitting opposite Margret.

'You're welcome.' He leaned to kiss her quickly once he was sat down himself. 'Looks like everyone's copying us.' He laughed as the kids came to sit at the opposite end of the table, followed by his uncle Stanley and his wife, Elaine.

'You okay?' He asked quietly.

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'I'm good.'

'Good.' He breathed, smiling softly at her.

'This is really nice.'

'I told you you'd be fine.' He whispered, kissing her temple and placing his hand on her thigh.

'Hey you.' Liv grinned, sitting on the other side of him.

'Liv,' he laughed, kissing her cheek.

'Hey Mer.' She smiled.

'Hey,' Meredith said quickly.

'I'm literally so hungry.' She groaned, Imogen sitting next to her, not saying a word, not even a hi to Meredith. Something was definitely wrong with her.

'That is a lovely top Olivia.' Margret smiled.

'Thanks grandma,' she grinned. 'We got it yesterday in the city.'

'It's lovely, that colour really suits you.'

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome sweetheart.' His grandmother smiled as his mom came in holding a big pot.

'Derek can I put this here?' She asked, leaning over him to put it on the placemat in the middle of the table.

'Of course.' He breathed, moving out the way. 'I'll help you bring the rest in.'

'No, don't be daft.' Alison shook her head.

'Seriously, ma, me and mark will help.' He nodded to his brother.

'Sure.' Mark nodded, standing up.

'You okay?' He asked Meredith before following his brother into the kitchen.

'Yeah.' She squeezed his hand. 'You go help her.'

'Okay.' He smiled, kissing her gently.

Meredith watched as he left before turning back to his sisters, relieved that things seemed to be fine with Liv. If it was going to be awkward she would already feel it, right? But Liv had grinned hi to her as normal and was sat next to Derek, so things seemed good.

She was talking to Imogen about something and she tried to catch the conversation without looking like she was blatantly eavesdropping, sat at the very end of the table she couldn't really turn the other way. So she tried to open herself up to her favourite of Derek's sisters. Except after a few minutes it became obvious that they weren't going to ease her into the conversation any time soon. Liv had the back of her head to her, and although Imogen could see her quite clearly she made no attempt to involve her, despite not having even said hi yet.

She looked away quickly as her boyfriend returned, placing a bowl of mashed potatoes in front of her and disappearing back into the kitchen. She had to blink in order to stop a few tears falling. She felt pathetic. She felt like crying because Imogen and Olivia weren't taking to her so she was sat looking like a spare part. She knew she wasn't cut out for this family thing it was all so-

'Are you alright, Meredith dear?' Margret smiled gently from across the table.

'Oh... yeah...' she said tearfully, her voice wavering.

'It can be a little overwhelming when the whole family's here.' She nodded. 'Don't worry,'

'Oh,' she breathed.

'Has Derek introduced you to everybody yet?'

'He's told me everyone's names,' she nodded as Mark placed a basket of bread on the table. 'But I haven't met everyone.'

'Okay,' Margret smiled. 'Well, that's Stanley,' she nodded to Derek's uncle. 'That's Elaine,' she nodded to a blonde woman to his right.

'Elaine,' she echoed.

'That's Emma, and then the dark haired girl is Georgia. That's Brenda,' she nodded to the woman sat next to Claire. 'And that's her husband Jim. And then the two rascals sat next to Mark's chair are James and Lottie.'

'They're really cute.' Meredith said quietly.

'They're great kids.' Margret mused. 'It's a big family, so don't worry about remembering everyone's names.'

'Oh,' Meredith smiled in relief. 'There are a lot.'

'You must have been thrilled when Derek told you he was one of six,' his grandmother laughed.

'Yeah,' Meredith giggled. 'I'm an only child so it's a bit different to my family.'

'Alison said this is your first Thanksgiving?'

'Oh, yeah.' She nodded.

'I bet Derek was eager to drag you here then.'

'Oh, yeah.' She giggled again.

'The two of you seem very happy.' Margret smiled as the table began to fill up with food, the room bursting with various pockets of conversation.

'Oh, yeah, we are.' She blushed.

'I can tell. He's had a glint in his eye missing since his father passed, but you bring it back out in him.'

'Oh... I...Thank you...' she breathed. 'I... he's amazing.'

'I hope you don't tell him that too often,' Margret laughed. 'It will go straight to his head!'

'Oh, I won't.' Meredith giggled as she felt her boyfriends hand on her back as he sat next to her.

'You won't what?' He grinned, kissing her cheek.

'Nothing,' she smirked, laughing.

'Nothing?' He arched an eyebrow.

'Nothing you need to know about.' She giggled, kissing him lightly as he put his hand back on her thigh.

'Hmmmm,' he smirked, leaning back in to capture her lips again before his mother took her seat at the head of the table, in between Meredith and Margret.

'Happy Thanksgiving everyone,' Alison began as the table conversation seemed to die down, Derek pressing a kiss to Meredith's temple and lingering there, breathing her in.

'I hope you enjoy the food, and I would just like to say grace before we begin and share what we're thankful for. Dear God thank you for the food that we eat and the health and happiness of everyone sitting at our table, and for the blessings you give to us everyday. Amen.'

'Amen.' The table mumbled in chorus before everyone began grabbing for food, Meredith holding back slightly, waiting for Derek to start.

'Mashed potatoes?' He asked, offering the spoon to her.

'Yes please.' She nodded, taking it off him and putting some on her plate. All of the food looked delicious and it was hard to believe Alison had catered for so many by herself, but as Derek had told her- she was amazing. And Meredith couldn't help but agree.

'So Im,' said Derek, turning to his sister as he took a bowl of carrots off Mark. 'Tell us all about Florida.'

'Oh, its good.' She nodded rather unenthusiastically.

'That doesn't sound too convincing.' He laughed, continuing to pile up his plate.

'It's good.' She nodded. 'I love it.'

'You girls had a good time together then?' He winked at Liv.

'Yes, we did.' His sister laughed.

'No boys?' He raised an eyebrow.

'Unfortunately can't promise that.' She smirked.

'Olivia!'

'Sorry,' she laughed.

'You better not have had any.' He frowned at his youngest sibling.

'Sorry to disappoint.' She giggled.

'What have I told you about boys!'

'Were not virgins, Derek.' Olivia rolled her eyes as Derek began to close his eyes in a wince.

'Ma, you might want to start the circle before Shep has a heart attack,' mark laughed, winking at Imogen and Liv.

'Ew.' Groaned Derek.

'Alright,' Alison laughed, oblivious to the conversation. 'Mark, you can go first this year.'

'Okay,' he smiled, resting his cutlery on the side of his plate as everyone else started eating, silence falling. 'This year I'm thankful for all of you guys, obviously. I'm thankful Imogen has settled in in Florida. That everyone's healthy, and for my friends.'

'Don't worry,' Derek whispered to his girlfriend, you can say as much or as little as you like.'

'Okay,' she nodded. 'Love you.'

'Love you too.' He kissed her temple softly as the thanks skipped over the kids and to his Uncle Jim.

'I'm thankful for the wealth, health and happiness of all our family, that the kids are happy at their new school, and for all the good memories we have made this year.'

'Me too,' smiled Brenda. 'And that we can all be together to celebrate.'

'I'm thankful for having such great sisters,' Lara smiled. 'And my mom and brothers obviously, and all of you guys. Oh, and thank you all for my birthday presents,' she laughed slightly. 'I know it's not what I'm supposed to say but I haven't seen you all so... thank you.' She grinned, before turning to Claire.

'I'm also thankful for my family and friends,' Claire laughed. 'Which is a bit repetitive, I'm sorry. I'm thankful that we're all healthy and happy, daddy would be want us to be.'

'He would.' Alison nodded, smiling sadly.

'I'm thankful to have such an amazing mom who makes sure we're all okay, even though six kids can be quite a challenge sometimes.' She laughed. 'I love you mom.'

'I love you too sweetheart.' His mom wiped her eye quickly as Elaine began to speak.

'You okay mom?' Asked Derek quietly.

'I am sweetheart.' She nodded. 'I just love you guys so much. Your father would be so proud.'

'He would.' Derek agreed. 'Do you want me to get you a tissue or something?'

'No I'll be fine.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes thank you dear.' She sniffed, nodding towards Imogen who was about to speak.

'I'm thankful for all my brothers and sisters,' she smiled. 'And all of my extended family and friends, we're lucky to have such a big family.'

'We are.' Brenda nodded, taking a sip from her wine glass.

'I'm thankful for the friends I've made at school, and for my mom.'

'I'm thankful for you too sweetheart.' Alison smiled.

'I think I'm just saying what everyone's already said,' Liv laughed. 'But I'm thankful for all of you guys, and that we're all healthy. I'm thankful for my friends, and my education which a lot of kids in other countries don't have the privilege of.'

'Very true Olivia.' Margret nodded.

'I think a lot of people take it for granted,' she sighed. 'But we're all really lucky that we have the opportunity to go to such good schools and learn such amazing things.'

'I agree.' Nodded Imogen.

'How's school going Imogen?' Smiled Elaine. 'Are you liking your classes?'

'I love them,' she breathed. 'They're so interesting.'

'They sound boring.' Mark teased.

'Shut up you.' His sister scowled at him, as it was Derek's turn to speak.

'This year I'm thankful for all my friends and all my family, I love you guys so much and I'm so happy I get to spend today with you. I wish Aunt Sandra was here, and I'm thankful for everyone else who can't be with us, too. I'm also really thankful for Meredith,' he smiled softly at her, making her blush and tighten her grip on his hand. 'You make me so happy and I love you.'

'Alright Romeo.' Mark laughed.

'Shut up.' Derek laughed, pressing a kiss to Meredith's head as the rest of the table smiled at them, well, most of the table anyway. 'Your go,' he whispered in her ear.

'Oh...' she began nervously, squeezing Derek's hand. 'I... I'm thankful for having the opportunity to get to know you guys... I know I don't know you all very well but I'm really grateful you let me be here today... and I'm thankful for my mom and my friends.' She finished, breathing in relief. 'Oh and Derek, obviously.' She added quickly, her cheeks heating.

'Well done,' Derek murmured, kissing her temple as Alison cleared her throat.

'Thanks,' she whispered, before turning to see what his mom had to say.

'I feel like I've got a much longer list than everyone else,' she laughed.

'Go on Ma,' laughed Claire.

'Alright alright,' she smiled. 'Well, firstly I am thankful for all of my children. All six of you make me very proud each day, and I know your father is thinking exactly the same. Imogen, I'm so thankful you're happy in your new life at college, it isn't easy making a new start but you have done a marvellous job sweetheart and I am so happy you are happy. Olivia I am so thankful that I have a daughter as kind and compassionate as you. Claire, you are the most practical one of the lot and I am so thankful for you for always helping me out,' she laughed slightly.

'Lara, I am so proud to have such a strong and happy daughter in spite of the difficulties you've faced recently. You make us all laugh and I am so thankful you are mine. Mark, well, I know I say this every year but I am thankful you came home with your brother that Tuesday afternoon. You are the perfect addition to our family and we all love you so much.'

'Thanks ma.' Mark winked.

'And Derek, I am extremely proud of the young man you have become and I could not be more thankful that my girls have you, and mark for that matter, to look after them. You are such a lovely, kind and caring young man, you remind me more of your father every day.'

'Ma...' Derek whispered, tearing up as his girlfriend kissed his cheek softly.

'Meredith,' Alison smiled, causing his girlfriend's head to whip up quickly, her eyes wide. 'I am so very thankful to you for making my son so happy. You are such a lovely girl and we couldn't ask for him to bring anyone better home. We all love you and welcome you into our family.'

'Oh... thank you...' Meredith smiled, her own eyes brimming with tears, touched.

'I'm Thankful for my brothers and sisters obviously who have been there for me in the hardest of times,' she smiled at Brenda and Stanley. 'And of course your families who bring so much joy into all of our lives. And Margaret. I am grateful to have you and Sandra in my life and to continued to be loved by you after Michael's passing. I love you very much.'

'Aw ma,' laughed Claire, her voice wavering as she wiped her eyes.

'You're making the ice queen cry.' Smirked mark. 'Well done ma.'

'Mark.' Alison laughed, shaking her head.

Derek's hand remained on Meredith's thigh as he ate with his other hand while listening to his grandmother's thanksgiving list. His whole family being together was somewhat of a rarity these days with the six of them all being at college, but today had been really nice. It was strange to be the one with a girlfriend present, when Lara didn't have Jake. But he was extremely grateful to be sat next to his girlfriend who seemed very happy, chatting to his mom and grandma as she ate the chocolate cake his mom had made for her especially.

She had never had a thanksgiving before, and had never been part of a family, but he hoped she would be sat next to him at this very table for the rest of his life. She was more relaxed, he could tell, her muscles were less tense and she was talking to his mom about something... he wasnt sure what. He just couldn't stop smiling as he watched her giggle in response to something his grandmother said, God she was beautiful.

'Want another drink?' He breathed in her ear before kissing her temple.

'Yes please.' She nodded. 'I'll come with you.'

'Okay.' He nodded, reaching for her hand as she stood. 'Do you want a drink ma?'

'I'm okay thank you sweetheart, Margret?'

'I'll have another port if it's not too much trouble dear?'

'Of course not.' He smiled before leading Meredith into the kitchen.

'Hey,' he murmured, pulling her close to him and kissing her softly.

'Hi,' she looked up at him.

'Hi.' He mirrored her grin. 'You okay?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, standing on her tip toes to kiss him.

'Good.' He smiled, running his hands along her sides. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She whispered, capturing his lips as her arms looped around his neck. 'I love you so much.'

'I do too.' He whispered against her lips. 'You look beautiful today.'

'Thanks,' she blushed. 'You do too.'

'Thank you.' He smiled. 'How do you like thanksgiving so far?'

'I think I like it.' She bit her lip.

'Good.' He said simply, kissing her. 'You liking the food?'

'Loving the food.' She laughed. 'Your mom is amazing.'

'That I agree with.' He nodded.

'I love your grandma too,' she murmured as he rested his forehead against hers and kissed the corner of her mouth.

'That makes me happy.' He whispered, kissing her again as he heard someone clear their throat and open the fridge.

'Sorry for interrupting.' Imogen said coldly.

'Oh,' breathed Derek, pulling his face slightly back from Meredith's but keeping her body just as close. 'You okay Im?'

'Fine.' She shrugged, pouring a glass of soda.

'You sure?' He asked, tightening his arms around Meredith, who lay her head on his shoulder, also facing his sister.

'Yeah.' She said flatly.

'I don't believe you.'

'Okay?' She rolled her eyes, putting the soda back in the fridge and turning away from them.

'Im,' he said a little louder. 'Come here,'

'Why?' She turned to face them.

'Because you're not being yourself and I don't like it, something's wrong.'

'Nothing's wrong.' She shrugged, meeting his gaze.

'Then why are you being weird with me?'

'I'm not.'

'You are,' he laughed.

'I'm not, Derek.'

'Fine. Then when we leave the table you can sit with us and tell us all about Florida, we want to know, right Mer?' He looked down at his girlfriend.

'Yeah.' She smiled, to whom was usually one of his most welcoming sisters.

'Hmmm.' Imogen breathed, looking at her drink.

'Okay that isn't normal.' Frowned Derek.

'What?!'

'That... you looking at your drink instead of gushing to us about Florida like you are everyone else.'

His sister didn't say anything, but simply shrugged.

'What's up?'

'Nothing.' She sighed, I'm going back in there.'

'Okay.' Derek sighed. 'That was weird, wasn't it?' Looking to Meredith for confirmation.

'I think so,' she nodded. 'I mean... she hasn't even spoken to me yet.'

'Seriously?'

'Yeah.' She shrugged.

'What... there's definitely something up.' He sighed. 'I'm going to talk to her.'

'I think that's a good idea.' Meredith nodded.

'Okay, let me get these drinks and then I'll figure it out.' He said, kissing her gently before reaching for the bottle of lemonade on the side.

When they sat back down at the table, Derek handed his grandmother another port before tapping his youngest sister on the shoulder and nodding towards the kitchen door. Everyone was still sat around chatting and laughing and drinking, Meredith immediately welcomed back into conversation by his mom.

'What?' His sister groaned as Derek sat her down on his bed after dragging her upstairs.

'What's up with you?' He asked, lying back against his pillows.

'Nothing.' She shrugged

'Imogen Sophia Shepherd if you seriously think you can fool me then you are wrong,' he laughed softly before becoming more conferenced. 'Are you okay?'

'She's just pissing me off.' Imogen sighed.

'What? Who?'

'Meredith.' She pulled a face.

'Meredith?' He frowned. 'What?'

'After what she did to you.'

'Oh, Im...' he sighed.

'I'm serious. She can't do that to you and then come to thanksgiving and have mom gush about her after hurting you so bad.'

'Im,' he sighed, shuffling down his bed to wrap an arm around her.

'No,' she shook her head. 'Liv told me what happened and she told me how upset you were. She can't hurt you like that, Der.'

'I know.' He nodded. 'But she made a mistake.'

'A big fucking mistake.'

'And she's apologised and we're fine.' He said calmly. 'So you have no reason to be pissed at her.'

'Doesn't mean I've forgiven her. So what? She probably gave you a few blow jobs, but she hid you, Der. She was ashamed of you. As if you weren't good enough.'

'Imogen.' He shook his head.

'You're amazing, Der. And whoever ends up with you is the luckiest girl ever and she hid you... she doesn't deserve you, Der. Not if she can't see how good you are.'

'I appreciate you looking out for me, Im. I really do. But this is between me and Meredith and I've forgiven her. She knows what she did was wrong... but she was in a complicated situation.'

'I don't care.'

'Im please don't say that. You two really get along.'

'Until she did this.'

'Please, Im. Be nice to her, for me. The whole situation is more complicated than I even realised, and yes I was really hurt. I was so hurt, but because I love her so much. And I do. I love her and I really need you not to be pissed at her. Today was hard enough for her without being punished for something she's already apologised for.'

'How can you forgive her?' Imogen whimpered.

'Because I love her.'

'I don't...' his sister trailed off, wiping at her eyes.

'Hey, don't cry,' Derek breathed. 'Im don't get upset, why are you upset?'

'I don't want her to hurt you.' She cried, tears spilling out of her eyes.

'Im come here,' he pulled her into a hug. 'You don't need to worry about me.'

'I do, Derek.' She whimpered, hugging him tightly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He squeezed her tight. 'But seriously, Meredith makes me very happy. That was over a month ago now, everything's fine.'

'I just don't want you to get hurt,' she whispered, wiping her eyes.

'I know.' He smiled. 'And I really appreciate you looking out for me, I do. But you don't need to worry about me, okay? It's my job to worry about you.'

'No.' She shook her head. 'You always look after us... who.. we need to look after you.'

'We can look after each other.' He nodded.

'She doesn't deserve you.'

'Im,' he sighed. 'Come here.' He breathed, pulling her to lay against him on the bed, her head on his chest.

'What?' She sniffled.

'Meredith... you know how this is her first Thanksgiving?'

'Yeah.' She said flatly.

'Her mom.. she isn't like ours'

'I know, she already said that but it's no excuse to-'

'Let me finish,' he breathed, hugging his sister close to him. 'They've never had a good relationship, and her mom puts her down an awful lot. I know, I know she was wrong to lie to me and tell me that she'd told her, I know that. But when I met her mom I understood why it wasn't as simple as I thought.'

'Der-'

'She told Meredith I would cheat on her.'

'What?' Imogen breathed, raising her head off his chest.

'And that I didn't love her.'

'What?'

'And then she told me that Meredith was unfocused and would never make it as a surgeon.'

'While she was sat there?'

'Yep.' Derek nodded.

'But you'd ever cheat on her... you'd never do that to her...'

'I know.' He nodded. 'But her mom saying things like that... it makes Meredith doubt herself. That she's worthy of love.. that she can be happy. And Mer thought if I met her she would scare me away... put me off her.'

'Oh.'

'And I know she was wrong to lie, and she really did hurt me. But she was hurting too.'

'Hmmmm,' his sister breathed into his shirt.

'She's really sorry and she knows she messed up. She called her mom and took me to meet her the next day, even though she was scared it would lead to me leaving her. Because she wanted to prove she was sorry, and that she loved me.'

'Hmmmm.'

'And I love her, Im.'

'I know.' She whispered.

'She makes me so happy, and she would never hurt me on purpose.'

'But she did.'

'No.' He shook his head. 'She told a white lie to make me happy that spiralled out of control. She loves me, Im. I know she does.'

'I know,' his sister whispered begrudgingly. 'I just don't want you to get hurt.'

'I know.' He nodded. 'And I love you so much for wanting to protect me. But ignoring Mer on her first ever thanksgiving isn't exactly the Imogen I know.'

'I know.' She breathed.

'She's sorry.'

'Good.'

'Do you think you can forgive her? For me? Please.'

'Okay.' She sighed. 'But if she hurts you again I swear I'm-'

'Okay.' He laughed. 'I think we should leave it there.'

'I love you, Der.' His sister whispered. A silent tear falling down her cheek. 'I... since dad... I just... I love you.'

'Oh Im I love you too.' He hugged her close.

'Sorry for being a bitch.'

'It's okay.' He smiled, wiping her tears. 'It came from a good place.'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Do you think you can apologise to her for me?'

'Der...' she groaned.

'Please?'

'Derek...'

'Please? For me? It will take two minutes and it will make me really happy. She loves you and I don't want her feeling awkward today.'

'Fine.' She sighed.

'Thank you.' He smiled, hugging her again. 'I love you so much.'

'I love you too.' She mumbled into his shoulder.

'You okay to go down?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, wiping her cheeks.

'Okay.' He breathed, pulling her off the bed and wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they got downstairs. When they entered the living room, everyone was away from the table and he scanned the room for his girlfriend, who was sat in the arm chair, talking to Claire and Lara who were sat on the couch.

'Hey you.' He grinned, ducking down to kiss her.

'Hey,' she breathed against his lips. 'Do you want to sit down?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'But Imogen wants to talk to you, so I'll sit here and you can sit with me when you get back.'

'Oh... okay...' she looked panicked.

'It's okay, don't worry.' He kissed her again softly before helping her up.

'Hey,' Imogen smiled weakly.

'Hey,' Meredith smiled nervously.

'Shall we go somewhere quiet?'

'Sure.' She nodded.

'Okay,' said Imogen nervously as they sat back next to each other at the now deserted table. 'I'm sorry...'

'Oh...'

'I... I've been a bit of a bitch today and I'm sorry.'

'That's okay.' Meredith said quickly.

'No, it's not.' Imogen sighed. 'I was mad at you... for what you did to Der.'

'Oh.'

'But... I shouldn't have ignored you at the table. It was rude. If he's forgiven you then I shouldn't be being a bitch. I'm sorry.'

'That's okay,' Meredith nodded. 'I know what I did was really bad... I'd probably be pissed at me too, if I was you.'

'I... I just don't want him to get hurt.' His younger sister admitted.

'I don't want to hurt him,' she shook her head quickly. 'I love him.'

'I know.' Imogen nodded. 'He just loves you so much that you have the power to really really hurt him... and since dad died.. I just want him to be happy.'

'I know.' Meredith whispered. 'I want to make him happy.'

'You do.' Imogen smiled. 'He makes that pretty clear.'

'Oh,' Meredith giggled slightly. 'I.. I really love him, Im. And I know it probably didn't seem like it. But I do. And I'm really sorry for what I did.'

'You don't have to apologise to me, I'm not your boyfriend.' Imogen shook her head. 'That's what Liv said and I get it now. I just... can't help it. He looks after us all and I wanted to look after him.'

'I thought Liv was going to kill me today,' Meredith breathed. 'I know how much you guys love him.'

'He's the best.'

'He is.' Meredith smiled. 'And I promise I won't hurt him again.'

'Thank you,' Imogen smiled.

'I'm happy he has you guys looking after him.'

'Yeah.' His sister laughed slightly. 'I... I really am sorry.'

'That's okay.'

'It isn't but... thanks.'

'If someone hurt him the way I did I'd probably be much worse.' Meredith giggled.

'But you're his girlfriend, you're allowed to.' Imogen smiled.

'You're his sister.' She shrugged.

'So we're okay?'

'We're okay.' Meredith nodded.

'Sorry if I ruined your first thanksgiving.'

'You didn't.' She shook her head. 'I felt a little awkward but your grandma started talking to me so it's fine.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay.' Meredith smiled. 'I'm sorry for hurting your brother, so I guess we're even.'

'I really do like you.' His sister breathed.

'Thanks. I like you too.' Meredith smiled.

'Friends again?'

'Definitely friends.' She smiled as Imogen moved to hug her.

'Sorry.'

'You don't have to keep saying it,' Meredith laughed. 'It's okay.'

'Okay.' Imogen whispered.

'Do you want to come sit with us?'

'I promised Lottie I'd braid her hair after dinner, but I will later.' Imogen laughed slightly.

'Okay,' Meredith smiled. 'I'll see you in a bit?'

'Definitely.' His sister nodded.

'Okay.' She whispered, turning back to find her boyfriend. She planted herself on his lap and snuggled into his chest as his arms immediately went around her.

'You okay?' He murmured, kissing her forehead.

'Yeah.' She whispered.

'I'm sorry about her.'

'It's fine.' Meredith shook her had. 'I'm happy you have them looking out for you.'

'Are you guys good now?'

'Yeah.' She said quietly, tipping her head up to kiss him softly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He breathed. 'Don't let me sisters scare you off.' He laughed.

'They won't.' She giggled. 'Although I'm scared what they would do if I seriously screwed up again.'

'They can be quite fierce.' He laughed.

'Yeah.' She giggled. 'It's a good job I don't plan on making you sad.'

'Good.' He whispered, kissing her.

'You make me so happy.' She said quietly against his lips as the room continued to buzz around them.

'You make me happy too.'

'I'm sorry for what happened.'

'Hey, I told you. I forgive you. Imogen's just being... Imogen. She's overprotective of me.'

'I know. But i am.'

'You don't need to be any more.'

'Okay.' She whispered, tracing his lips with her finger. 'You know... I wasn't sure how this whole thanksgiving thing worked...' she smirked.

'What do you mean?' He raised an eyebrow as she leaned to kiss him deeply.

'I got you a present.' She murmured against his lips before her hands made their way to his hair.

'What kind of a present?' He whispered, grinning.

'Something I couldn't possibly get out here.' She smirked, her fingers playing in the curls at the nape of his neck. 'Something to show you how thankful I am to have you, to be able to love you.'

'I'm liking the sound of this...'

'You'll like the look of it too... white lace... hardly covers my boobs...'

'Fuck...' he breathed into her mouth.

'I want you to fuck me in it tonight.'

'Fuck, Mer...'

'I want you to run your hands over my body and think about how much you want to rip it off me.'

'Mer...' he whispered, feeling himself harden against her ass.

'I want to look sexy for you.' She whispered, nibbling his bottom lip.

'You're always sexy.' He breathed.

'I love you.' She kissed him.

'I love you too.' His arms tightened around her.

'Thank you for my first thanksgiving.'

'You're welcome.' He smiled. 'Is it wrong I want it to be over so I can fuck you in your new lingerie?' He whispered into her ear, sucking on her lobe.

'Yes,' she giggled, looking around the room to make sure no one could hear them.

'Will you wear it when we get back too? So we can be loud with it?'

'I've got something else for when we get home.' She smirked. 'Something red...'

'Fuck baby you're killing me.' He breathed.

'You're going to have to wait.' She giggled, kissing him softly before turning around to the rest of the loud room, feeling his erection digging into her. Today really had been great, she'd felt like she fit in Derek's family. And despite Imogen's initial frostiness, she felt really at home. She couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be than in her boyfriends lap, surrounded by his family, with her hands laced through his.

 _Thank you for reading! Please review! X_


	57. Chapter 58

_Hi guys! Thank you for reading and pleaseee review, last chapter I only got two, and it's harder to write when I don't know what you guys are thinking and liking._

'Der!' Meredith called from her bathroom.

'Yeah?'

'Did you write the card?'

'Yeah.'

'Good.' She smiled, re-emerging into her room, tucking her top into her skirt. 'Do I look okay?' She asked, smoothing her hands over the denim.

'You look beautiful.' He grinned, moving to kiss her.

'Thanks.' She breathed against his lips. 'So you have the card and present?'

'Yep,' he nodded, grabbing them off her bed side table.

'Okay,' she breathed, looking around for her bag.

'Here,' he said, handing it to her from the floor.

'Oh, thanks.' She smiled, putting it over her shoulder. 'And you're sure I look okay?'

'Mer, I just told you,' he put his hands on her hips softly. 'You look beautiful.' Kissing her gently.

'You always say that, I mean for the party.' She said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'It's hardly a party, Mer.' He laughed.

'Gathering or whatever.'

'You look lovely.'

'What do you think she's going to be wearing?'

'Who? Holly?'

'Yeah.' She nodded, it was Tim's birthday and they were going out for a meal before a bar for some drinks. Tim had been seeing Holly on and off before her and Derek had even gotten together, it had been a very slow burn, but tonight he was finally bringing her to meet them.

'I don't know,' he shrugged.

'That's not very helpful, Derek.' She mumbled, walking over to her full length mirror and looking over her outfit again. She was wearing an embroidered denim skirt with the black mesh top she had worn on hers and Derek's first date with the pink flowers on, the same white sneakers and her black leather jacket. She had some make up on and her hair was straight, they'd said smart casual. Derek was wearing his black jeans with his light blue button down and he looked insanely good, and normally, being the only girl she wouldn't care, but now there was another girl and she didn't want to look out of place.

'Mer, you look hot.' He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

'You don't think it's too casual?'

'No.' He shook his head.

'Do you think I'm going to be too cold in my skirt without tights?'

'No,' he smirked, his hands moving to her ass.

'Derek,' she giggled.

'I like that it's short.'

'You would,' she turned to kiss him. 'But seriously?'

'I think if you wore tights it would be too much black, but if you're too cold when we get outside we can come back and you can change into your jeans. Okay?'

'Which jeans?' She pouted.

'...these.' He walked to her wardrobe and picked out her cropped jeans she wore on their first date.

'Okay.' She chewed her lip. 'Should I just put those on?'

'No, I like the skirt.' He nodded.

'You sure?'

'Yes.'

'Doesn't make me look too slutty?'

'Mer,' he laughed softly. 'No.'

'Okay. I'm trusting you.'

'Good. You look beautiful.'

'Okay.'

'You ready to go?'

'Yep.' She nodded, taking one last look in the mirror. 'Lets go.'

'Lets go.' He echoed, following her out of the room and turning the light off behind him. Originally he was going to drive them on his motorcycle, but they'd have to get a cab home if they were drinking anyway so it made sense for them to walk. It was December but surprisingly it hadn't been cold and there was no sign of snow. They were finishing the semester next week and it was crazy to think it was almost the winter holidays already. He and Meredith had been together since the end of June, which meant Christmas would mark six months. Which was crazy. Totally and utterly crazy.

Her hand was in his, his fingers threaded through hers as they walked to the Italian Tim had chosen. They'd been together a few times because according to Meredith the garlic bread was the best she'd ever had. As they reached the door he held it open for her and stepped in closely behind. Their friends were sat in the back corner of the restaurant, and Derek rested his hand gently on Meredith's back as the hostess approached them.

'Oh, we're with those guys over there,' Derek smiled, gesturing to the four of them.

'Ah, okay.' She smiled. 'You can make your way over and I'll be there in a minute to get you a drink.'

'Thanks.' He replied, reaching for Meredith's hand as they reached the table. 'Hey,' he grinned.

'Shep!' Grinned Mark.

'Happy birthday Tim,' Meredith smiled, leaning to hug him.

'Thanks Mer.'

'Happy birthday man,' said Derek, doing the same.

'Aw thanks guys.' Tim laughed softly, taking the gift bag off Derek.

'No problem.' Meredith grinned, pulling out a chair and sitting next to Dexter. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' He smiled.

'Holly this is Derek,' said Tim, gesturing to him as he took a seat next to Meredith and wrapping his arm around her chair.

'Hi,' smiled a cute, brunette girl with short hair.

'Hey.'

'And this is his girlfriend, Meredith.'

'Hi.'

'Hi,' Meredith smiled nervously.

'Your top is really cute.' Holly smiled, obviously nervous too.

'Oh, thanks.' Meredith breathed. 'Yours is too.'

'Thanks.'

'So why were you guys late? Too busy fucking?' Mark smirked.

'We were literally five minutes late.' Derek rolled his eyes.

'They're the resident fuck bunnies,' explained Mark, turning to Holly. 'At it all the time everywhere.'

'Mark!' Meredith blushed.

'Oh since when have you been shy Grey? You're always screaming around our place.' He laughed.

'Mark seriously,' Derek groaned, before also turning to Holly. 'Don't listen to him.'

'He's an ass.' Clarified Meredith.

'But you guys are loud,' Dexter laughed.

'Shut up.' Derek shook his head. 'We walked here, that's why we were late.'

'Ah, okay.' Mark winked.

'Mark seriously.' Meredith groaned as the hostess came over to take their drinks order.

'So Holly, what major are you? Tim's been very secretive about you.' Said Derek, his arm still around the back of Meredith's chair.

'Math.' She smiled, as the waitress came back over with their drinks.

'Ew.' Said Mark. 'Math.'

'Ew, premed.' Mocked Dexter.

'Alright Picasso.' Mark winked.

'Dexter does art,' Tim explained. 'And then the rest of us do premed.'

'You really haven't told her a lot about us, have you Tim?' Laughed Derek.

'He has,' Holly nodded. 'I knew some of you did premed.'

'All doctors.' Dexter rolled his eyes.

'At least there aren't four medical majors in your family.' Mark rolled his eyes.

'You have three siblings?' Holly smiled.

'Five,' Mark laughed, nodding to Derek. 'Him being one.'

'You didn't tell me they were brothers.' Holly frowned to Tim, who put his hand on her thigh.

'They're brothers.' Tim shrugged.

'And you have four others?' She raised her eyebrows at Mark and Derek.

'Yep,' Derek nodded. 'Four sisters.'

'Wow, that's heavy.'

'You can say that again.' He laughed.

'You love them.' Meredith giggled, turning to look at her boyfriend lovingly.

'I know.' He rolled his eyes.

'And they're all at college?' Holly asked, taking a sip of her water.

'Yeah, Lara's at Med school, Claire's at Harvard Law, Liv's at NYU doing premed and Imogen's in Florida doing history.'

'Wow.'

'I know.' Derek laughed.

'They're crazy.' Said Mark.

'They're not.' Meredith giggled.

'They're nicer to you than us.' Mark pointed out.

'No they are not.' She rolled her eyes.

'Are they older?' Holly smiled, she was really nice. At least trying to make an effort with Tim's friends anyway, more than Rose ever did.

'Lara and Claire.' Derek nodded. 'The other two are younger.'

'The terrible two.' Mark shook his head.

'Oh shut up,' Meredith laughed. 'They're both of your favourites.'

'I do not have a favourite.' Mark shook his head.

'Yes you do!'

'I do not. He does.' Mark nodded at Derek.

'You both do.' She rolled her eyes. 'Don't even try to deny it.'

'They're your favourites too!' Derek laughed.

'Shut up.' She giggled, hitting his chest playfully.

'It's true.' He smirked, kissing her quickly, before turning to Tim. 'So what did you get for your birthday?'

'My mom and dad gave me a two hundred dollar gas card.' He nodded.

'Nice,' said Mark.

'Erm, my sister got me cologne, my grandma sent me a check and then you guys got me the shirt.' He smiled.

'You got him a shirt?' Dexter turned toward Meredith and Derek, who were now sat closer, Meredith's hand in Derek's thigh.

'Yeah.' She smiled. 'Show them.'

'Did you guys not get him anything?' Derek frowned.

'We're paying for him tonight.' Dexter sighed.

'Ah, I see.'

'That's really nice.' Holly breathed, taking the shirt off Tim.

'I know, thanks guys.' He smiled across at Meredith and Derek.

'You're welcome.' Derek answered, his fingertips grazing across Meredith's shoulder.

It was probably the first time they had all been out for dinner like this, actually at a proper restaurant rather than sat in a McDonalds nursing a hangover and it was really really enjoyable. Granted, it wasn't very rock and roll for a twentieth birthday party, but Mark had somehow managed to fix Holly, Tim, Dexter and Meredith all with fake IDs, so things would surely get wilder at the bar.

But it was really nice to all just sit and chat, and Holly was really nice. Meredith really liked her, she was quite shy but its kind of expected when you enter an already established friendship group. But considering the other girls he could have brought back, Holly was definitely a good fit.

Derek had agreed to pretend to share a side order of cheesy garlic bread with her so she didn't look like a pig eating it along side her meatballs, and had rested his hand on her thigh consistently, eating with only one hand. It was weird, they were a proper couple. Which sounded odd because they'd been together for over five months so of course they were a proper couple, but at times like these it did all feel very domestic and it made her go all warm inside.

They had bought Tim a joint present, and she was invited to Derek's friends birthdays naturally now, it was just assumed she came with Derek. The next day they were going to Boston to buy his family's Christmas presents and then meeting his grandmama for dinner, as Meredith was going home with him for the holidays and spending Christmas with the Shepherds.

Her mom hadn't seemed that bothered when she'd told her she was spending the holidays with Derek. It seemed she was less angry about their relationship and more mocking, she made it no secret she thought Meredith was being foolish and that their relationship wouldn't last. So she'd allowed her to spend Christmas with him, with a sarcastic comment before hanging up the call.

She wasn't that nervous about her first Christmas, maybe a little, but thanksgiving had been a good test run and now she was all good with Imogen she was actually really looking forward to it. His sisters were all so much fun and it would be nice to spend the day with a lot of people rather than on her own in her room doing nothing.

They'd made a list over the past couple of weeks of present ideas for them, and it felt very couple-y to have input in his family's presents. Him and mark had agreed they would go separate this year, and he would get his with Meredith. They'd decided on an eye shadow palette for Olivia, which she had admired from Lara's make up bag at Thanksgiving and been heartbroken by the price. For Imogen, Derek hadn't been very good at initiating ideas, but was very good at dismissing what wasn't right. Apparently they shouldn't get her make up, because Liv would be all over that, alcohol wouldn't be approved by their mom, her taste in clothes was too hard too unpredictable to risk and so almost every one of her suggestions were shot down. Until she asked about what books and films she liked and Derek said she was the biggest Harry Potter fan on the planet, and so she'd googled it and found so much stuff. There was everything from socks to pyjamas to notepads to pens to sweaters and everything they could imagine.

Apparently him and Mark got Claire the same perfume every year, and Derek had put dibs on it for this year too, so she was easy. Lara was a bit harder, Derek wanted to get her something really special because it would be her first Christmas without Jake in three years, but Meredith didn't know his oldest sister well enough to know what 'special' was. So she'd ended up ringing Alison and explaining Derek's desire and she said she would get back to them on it after having a proper think and investigation.

And she was really looking forward to seeing Margret tomorrow, too. She'd never had any experience with a grandparent, and Derek's grandma was everything she'd kind of dreamed of. In fact his whole family were. It was amazing to be part of such a big, loving family now she was with Derek. But of course, having Derek was the best bit.

She leaned to kiss his cheek as they waited at the bar, Tim, Dexter and Mark were stood by the pool table in the corner of the bar while he stood to buy her and Holly's drinks.

'You don't have to get these,' she murmured against his stubble, pressing another kiss to the underside of his jaw.

'It's okay,' he smiled, snaking his arm around her waist.

'You sure?' She wrapped her arms around his own waist.

'Positive.' He grinned, leaning down to kiss her gently.

'Thank you.' She whispered.

'You're welcome.' He kissed her again.

'I'll buy the next ones.' She promised.

'No, my treat.' He shook his head.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too.' He breathed as the bartender placed their drinks in front of them. A tequila for her, a beer for him and a vodka coke for Holly.

'Twelve fifty please.'

Derek handed the bill over and waited for the change before kissing her once more. 'I'll be back soon.'

'Okay.' She smiled. 'Have fun.'

'I will.' He winked, walking over to the rest of the boys as Meredith turned to Holly who was sat at a bar stool and hopped on the one next to her.

'Is Derek sure about getting me this drink?' She asked.

'Yeah.' Meredith smiled.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'Seriously, don't worry, I said I'd get the next ones but he's being stubborn and said it was a treat.'

'He's sweet.'

'He is.' Meredith giggled. 'I'll just get us another round when me and you are done.'

'I'll give you some money.'

'You don't have to.' She shook her head.

'I want to,' Holly smiled. 'You guys have been so friendly.'

'Oh,' Meredith smiled. 'We like you.'

'Oh, thanks.' Holly giggled.

'And we love Tim so it's nice to see him with a nice girl.'

'Thanks.' She blushed. 'How long have you guys been together?'

'Me and Derek? Since late June.'

'So like almost six months?'

'Yeah.' She smiled, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.

'You guys are so cute.'

'Oh, thanks.' She said, her cheeks heating. 'He's amazing.'

'He seems it.' Holly laughed. 'He's so into you it's adorable.'

'It's mutual.' She smiled.

'It must suck over the holidays, Tim said you were from Seattle? That's quite a way from New York.'

'Yeah, summer wasn't the best.' She nodded. 'But I'm spending these holidays with Derek'a family so I'm really excited.'

'That's so cute, so you get on with them then?'

'Yeah,' Meredith nodded, sipping her tequila. 'His mom is amazing.'

'I can't imagine having a boyfriend with four sisters and a brother, way too intimidating.'

'Oh no they're really nice,' Meredith shook her head. 'I mean, it's quite scary knowing you have four girls on you if you mess up, but it's only because they love him so much. His dad died a couple of years ago and so they all kind of turn to Derek.'

'Oh no, that's sad.'

'I know.' Meredith sighed. 'I think Derek took it the hardest, from what his mom said. Although he'll never admit it, he likes to be the protector.'

'That's sweet though.'

'I know,' she couldn't help but smile. 'Are you going home for the holidays?'

'Yeah,' Holly nodded. 'I'm from Chicago.'

'Oh wow, that's cool.'

'Yeah.' She nodded.

'Do you have any brothers or sisters?'

'Yeah one sister, Evie. She's only fifteen.'

'That's a nice name.' Meredith smiled.

'Yeah, she's annoying though.' Holly laughed slightly.

'Bless her.' Meredith giggled.

'No seriously, she is so annoying,' holly rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips though. 'She's in the stroppy teenager phase.'

'To be fair I think I only left that phase with my mom when I got with Derek.' She laughed. 'Actually, I'm probably still in it.'

'What does your mom do?'

'She's a surgeon, yours?' It was nice to be able to be asked about her mom without people knowing who she was.

'A kindergarten teacher.' Holly smiled. 'And my dads an electrician.'

'Oh, my dads not... around.' Meredith sipped her drink awkwardly.

'Oh.. sorry,' Holly shook her head. 'I shouldn't have-'

'No, no it's fine.' Meredith said quickly. 'You weren't to know.'

'Still sorry.' She smiled weakly.

'It's fine.' Meredith smiled. 'I don't have any siblings either, so just me and my mom.'

'And she doesn't mind you spending the holidays with Derek?'

'No,' she shrugged. 'We're not really close and she normally works Christmas anyway, so it doesn't make much difference to her.'

'That's sad.' Holly frowned.

'Yeah,' she sighed. 'But at least I get to have a proper Christmas this year.'

'True.' Holly nodded, smiling.

'Have you had a good time tonight? I know the boys can sometimes be a bit much.' Meredith laughed, rolling her eyes.

'No, I've had a really good time.' Holly nodded eagerly. 'Everyone's really nice.'

'Good.' Meredith smiled. 'Hopefully Tim won't hide you away from us any longer.' She laughed slightly.

'Things have been slow,' Holly laughed softly.

'Well it's been really nice to meet you.'

'Thanks, you too.' She grinned. 'I was kind of nervous when he told me a girlfriend would be coming, but you're really nice so it's been really good.'

'Oh, thanks...' Meredith breathed, smiling.

'He always talks about you guys,'

'He spends all his time with them so it's not much of a surprise.' She laughed.

'True, he said you and Derek were a really strong couple so I was a bit intimidated because what we have going on is so slow.'

'Everyone is different,' Meredith shrugged. 'Me and Derek have had our ups and downs, and we didn't exactly start out ideally.'

'No?'

'No... let's just say... he had a girlfriend.'

'Oh,' Holly raised her eyebrows.

'Don't get my wrong,' Meredith said quickly. 'I didn't plan it, and I wish it hadn't have happened that way, and I don't make a habit of going after people that I know have girlfriends or anything...'

'Don't worry,' Holly smiled. 'I don't think that.'

'Good,' she laughed breathlessly. 'But we were best friends and I only realised I was in love with him when he got a girlfriend, which was very unfortunate.'

'Doesn't sound good,' Holly laughed. 'So what happened?'

'I tried to be normal about it because I had no idea he liked me, I thought he was in love with Rose and I wanted him to be happy. But my feelings didn't go away and one day it all just got too much. I started crying and ended up blurting it out to him.'

'And what did he say?' Holly's eyes lit up.

'That he'd been in love with me the whole time we'd been friends but had no idea I liked him.'

'Awwww!' She squeaked.

'I know.' Meredith laughed.

'That's so cute.'

'I didn't feel cute,' she rolled her eyes. 'I was crying and had mascara all down my face.'

'Aw bless you.' Holly giggled. 'But you guys are great together.'

'Thanks,' she grinned, looking over at her boyfriend who was holding his beer and laughing about something with Tim. 'So are you and Tim.'

'Thanks.' Holly breathed.

'At least there's another girl in the group now, you can save me when Derek drags me to all the games with them.'

'Tim said they watch football, basketball, baseball and soccer.'

'Yes.' Meredith rolled her eyes. 'They watched literally everything. Whenever you go over there will be some sort of game on the television.'

'I'm not even into sport.' Holly confessed.

'Me neither, at least we have each other now.'

'Definitely.' Holly smiled.

'I'll get us another drink,' Meredith nodded, finishing her tequila and nodding to the bar tender.

'Let me give you some money,' Holly reached for her bag.

'No, no it's fine honestly.' Nodded Meredith. 'Think of it as a welcome to the group from me and Der.'

'Oh, thanks.' She breathed, smiling at her new friend.

 _Thank you for reading, please review X_


	58. Chapter 59

_Hi guys, thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! I'm sorry it's been like a week since I updated but I ended up being a lot busier than anticipated. I was going to do the whole of Christmas in one chapter but I'm nowhere near finished with it, so I thought I'd give you Christmas Eve now and then Christmas Day as soon as I've finished it. We're nearing the end of this fic sadly... buuuuuuut I have a few ideas, so stay with me!_

Christmas was weird. She liked it so far, but it was definitely weird. It was Christmas Eve and she was about to attend church with the Shepherd family which was apparently the proper beginning of Christmas, according to Derek. See, it hadn't even properly begun and it already felt very, very, Christmassy. They had all helped to decorate the house the day after Meredith and Derek got to New York and it was like a house from a Christmas movie, a massive tree, ribbons and lights everywhere and stockings hung up on the fire place.

Each child had their own stocking, and right in between Derek's and Liv's was her own. She had been breathless when she had noticed it, attaching tinsel to the mantelpiece with Derek. The kids were in age order, alternating red and green, but hers was a stripy one, combining the two colours. It felt weird seeing her name up there next to Derek's and his sisters, but it really did make her feel like she was actually part of the family.

The last week all they had done was chill out, eat and watch a lot of Christmas movies. That was one genre she had never really dipped into, but they had made sure she got her fill and she had even watched four in one day. Surely this made her Christmassy enough for Christmas, right?

Alison's food had also been amazing, as usual, but Derek said it was best at Christmas, she really went all out. Thanksgiving had been good, but with there being less people for Christmas his mom could make much nicer things for them. For dinner they had eaten chicken pie, the same recipe Alison had given Derek to make at college, with mashed potatoes and gravy, followed by a lemon cheesecake. And for supper they were having cheese and crackers with wine when they got back from church.

Church had never really been something Meredith had done. In fact, she never thought she'd ever stepped foot in a church. She wasn't atheist by any means but she wasn't actively religious either, she wasn't quite sure what she thought, but Derek had assured her it didn't matter. His mom was definitely Catholic, but their attendance at church as a family was mainly social. They had grown up going to church with their parents, and had a lot of friends there. And so church on Christmas Eve was tradition.

'You okay?' He murmured as they followed his sisters into the door of the church.

'Yeah,' she smiled softly at him, his hand resting on her back.

'Good.' He mirrored her smile before kissing her temple. They made their way inside and Derek really hadn't been joking that church was busy on Christmas Eve, it was already looking pretty full and she didn't see any eight seats together.

He and his sisters were saying hi to everyone that seemed to be stood near them, and Derek's hand snaked around her waist protectively.

'Derek dear!' Said a little old lady, turning to him from speaking to Imogen.

'Hi Mavis,' he grinned, leaning to kiss her cheek as she pulled him into a hug.

'It's so lovely to see you,' she smiled. 'And you must be Meredith?'

'Oh, yeah.' Meredith breathed as Derek's arm returned to her waist.

'We've all heard a lot about you,' she laughed softly.

'Oh,' Meredith smiled nervously. 'All good I hope.'

'Oh of course dear! Alison has nothing but glowing things to say about the pair of you.'

'Oh.' She couldn't help but smile at her boyfriend.

'Remember I told you I worked on Mavis's back wall during summer?'

'Oh yeah,' she nodded eagerly. 'It's so lovely to meet you.'

'You too, dear. Derek I'm assuming you're all staying behind after mass for a drink?'

'Of course, would it be Christmas if we didn't?' He laughed.

'So are you spending the holidays with the Shepherds then?' Asked Mavis.

'Yeah,' Meredith nodded. 'At home it's just me and my mom and she usually works Christmas, so it didn't make sense to stay there.'

'That sounds awfully sad.' Mavis frowned.

'I know.' Meredith sighed as people began to file past them.

'Alison says you're from Seattle?'

'Yeah,' she nodded. 'I really like it there.'

'A bit far from you though, eh?' Mavis laughed softly looking at Derek.

'Too far,' Derek agreed, kissing Meredith's temple gently. 'But at least I managed to steal her for the holidays.' He winked at her, making her stomach feel all gooey and warm.

'Do you live together at Dartmouth?'

'No,' Derek shook his head. 'I'm still living with Mark and our friends, and mer's living with her friends too.'

'That's very sensible if you ask me.' Mavis nodded. 'You have time for all of that later.'

'Exactly.' Derek smiled, squeezing Meredith's side.

'So you have another year there after this one ?'

'Yes and then medical school, if we get in.' He laughed slightly.

'Of course you will.' Mavis smiled warmly. 'Is that the same for Olivia too?'

'Yep.' Derek nodded.

'And I believe Lara's coming back home after the summer?'

'Yes, she's hopefully doing an internship at mount sini.'

'Aw that will be lovely for your mom to have her home.' Mavis smiled.

'Yeah, definitely.' Derek agreed as Liv waved them over from some seats in the main body of the church. 'I think we're being summoned Mavis, but I'm sure we'll see you after?'

'Oh of course dear,' she smiled. 'And lovely to meet you Meredith.'

'Oh thanks, you too.' His girlfriend blushed as he reached for her hand and guided her to where his mom and sisters were. They'd found two sets of four seats directly in front of each other, and his mom and Lara were sat on the back while Mark, Imogen, Claire and Liv were on the ones in front. He led Meredith along the row and took his seat next to his sister, wrapping an arm around Meredith as soon as they sat down.

'She was nice,' Meredith said quietly, leaning into him as the church buzzed with people.

'She's lovely.' Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

'So what happens now?' She asked.

'It's actually a nice service at Christmas, there's one now and one at midnight. This ones more for families though, so it's nothing too heavy.' He reassured her. 'We'll sing some songs, say a few prayers and the priest will talk about the story of Christmas. And then we sing a song and say a prayer in the dark, holding a candle each, it's really nice.'

'That sounds nice.' She smiled at the warmth in her boyfriends tone, reaching for the hand that wasn't wrapped around her and entwined their fingers.

'So no communion or anything.'

'Good.' She said softly, squeezing his hand. 'And then they have drinks after?'

'Yeah,' he smiled. 'Ma likes to see everyone.'

'There's a lot of people.' She breathed, glancing around.

'Yeah,' he laughed. 'I told you it's busier at Christmas.'

'So it's not this busy every week?'

'God no,' he laughed softly. 'But I know most of these, they usually come once or twice a year. Like we do now we're not at home.'

'Did you come a lot before college?'

'Yeah,' he nodded. 'Most weeks, most of mom and dads friends are here, so dad came as long as he could.'

'Der...' she whispered, squeezing his hand again, not really knowing what to say.

'It's okay,' he murmured. 'Last year was harder.'

'Yeah,' she whispered. 'I just... I'm here.' She smiled slightly, she was never really into the family thing. Or the Christmas thing. But Derek was into both, and now his dad wasn't here to celebrate Christmas with him anymore. 'I know I'm crap at the talking thing but if you need to talk about it or whatever... I'm here.'

'I know,' a small smile spread across his features as he leaned to kiss her softly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She breathed against his lips. 'Are we allowed to kiss in a church?' She giggled.

'I hope so,' he smirked. 'Or I might get in trouble.' He leaned to kiss her again, just as softly.

'Love you.'

'Love you too.' He murmured, smiling as he tightened his arm around her and she leaned back into him, the service starting.

It really wasn't as bad as she though it would be, Derek was right. They had a sheet to share to read the words off and the prayers were nothing too strong, as Derek said, it was a family service so it was really okay. The priest had spoken about the story of Christmas, and while Meredith knew it, obviously, hearing it in more detail, in a church full of people on Christmas Eve brought it to life somehow. It was weird, with Derek's arm holding her close and being sat with the shepherd's in a church full of people, she felt all tingly and warm inside. There were kids sat on their moms knees and old couples sat holding hands and she began to realise what she'd been missing out on all these years. It wasn't so much the religious side, but as Derek had told her the more Christmas spirit side. As the lights were turned off and the candles were handed out, it felt really magical and she leaned to kiss Derek's cheek softly. He didn't speak but replied with a loving smile which made her heart flutter, so far she was loving this Christmas thing.

Afterward they had gone through to the hall where it seemed almost everyone had come over to say hi, it appeared the Shepherd children were famous in the congregation, making a rare collective appearance. Derek never once left her side and either his arm was wrapped tightly around her waist or shoulder, or his hand was clutched in hers. And every time Derek introduced her it seemed to be more a case of 'finally meeting you!' than becoming aware that Derek had a girlfriend. Alison really had been gushing about them to everyone.

Once they were home they all sat back in the living room while Alison brought out cheese and crackers with wine, which they were all allowed to drink seeing as it was a special holiday. Derek had pulled her into his lap and they shared a plate of food, although as predicted she ate more of it than he did.

It really amazed her how close his family really were. She knew they were close, but they all sat in the living room together talking and laughing and chatting until almost midnight. All of his sisters and Mark with his mom, not one of them sitting on their cell or pulling a face, they were all just happy spending time together. Something her and her mom never were, let alone with six other family members. When they'd demolished their supper, Derek moved their plate and pulled Meredith against his chest, his heart thudding against her ear, and his arms wrapped around her mid section, kissing her head and temple affectionately. They didn't say much to each other, rather joined in the family conversation, but with every hand squeeze and soft kiss, it was like they were in their own world. She knew one thing was for sure, dating Derek was the best thing she'd ever done.

'Alright well I think it's time for bed,' Alison sighed.

'Yeah, I'm tired.' Lara yawned, standing up from the couch.

'Me too.' Nodded Imogen, holding her hands out to her eldest sister. 'Help me up?'

'Come on.' Lara groaned after helping Imogen. 'Bed.'

'Coming,' Claire sighed. 'What time in the morning?'

'Please not too early.' Groaned liv, also standing up.

'Nine?' Suggested Alison.

'Ten?' Liv winced.

'Half past? Compromise?' Said Lara.

'Half past.' Alison nodded. 'We aren't sleeping the day away Olivia.'

'I know,' she rolled her eyes.

'Do you want some help ma?' Asked Derek as his mom began collected the plates.

'Oh no dear, you two head up.' Alison smiled at him and Meredith.

'Are you sure?'

'Positive.'

'Thanks ma,' he breathed, standing up behind Meredith to kiss his moms cheek as his siblings made their way upstairs.

'You're very welcome Derek. I love you.'

'I love you too ma.' He smiled.

'And you young lady,' Alison pulled Meredith into a hug. 'I know tomorrow might be overwhelming for you, so if it is and you just need a few minutes to yourself, grab Derek and you can escape.'

'Okay,' Meredith smiled. 'I'm having a really nice time so far though, Mrs Shepherd.'

'When have you ever called me that?' Alison laughed. 'You're family dear, I want you to feel at home while you're with us.'

'Oh,' Meredith felt her cheeks flush as she leaned back into her boyfriend who put his hands gently on her hips. 'Thank you. And thank you so much for having me... it really means a lot.'

'It's truly a pleasure sweetheart.'

'Thanks.' She breathed. 'This is already the best Christmas I've ever had.'

'I'm glad we get to share it with you.' Alison grinned. 'And I hope this one spoils you tomorrow.' She nodded at Derek, winking.

'Of course,' Derek rolled his eyes. 'We're going to do our presents by ourselves before we come down,' he explained. 'So if we're a little late down that's all we're doing.'

'That's lovely.' His mom smiled softly.

'Just didn't want our first Christmas presents coming with live commentary and analysis.' He laughed, squeezing Meredith's sides.

'Very understandable.' Alison nodded. 'I'll see you both in the morning. Sleep well the pair of you.'

'Thanks ma.'

'Thanks Alison.' Meredith smiled as Derek moved his hand to her back as followed her out of the room and upstairs.

Once they were in his room he immediately stripped into his pyjamas and moved into the bathroom to brush his teeth, with her not close behind. It was weird to think, but she was actually really excited to fall asleep tonight, almost like she was a child. She was excited to wake up and for it to be Christmas, proper Christmas this time, not just a date in December her mom was working. When she re-entered his bedroom after brushing her teeth, Derek smiled at her and pulled back the covers on the other side of his bed.

'Come here,' he said softly, his eyes sparkling.

'Where else would I be going?' She giggled, climbing in next to him as he instantly wrapped his arms around her small frame in pyjama shorts, despite it being December.

'Just wanted you.' He murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

'Hmmmm...' she smiled into his chest. 'I love you.'

'I love you too baby.' He whispered, kissing her head again.

'I'm excited for tomorrow.' She laughed slightly.

'You are?' He grinned, her head still under his chin.

'Yeah,' she breathed. 'Is that weird?'

'No, I'm happy you're excited.'

'I mean.. I'm a little nervous I guess... but more excited.'

'That makes me very happy.' He squeezed her. 'You don't need to be nervous, you'll love it.'

'I hope so.'

'You will.' He promised. 'It's like Thanksgiving but better.'

'You did say there was nicer food.' She giggled.

'There is,' he laughed. 'And presents.'

'I hope you like yours,' she murmured. 'You'll have to keep in mind I've never done this before.'

'I'll love whatever it is,' he assured her. 'My birthday present was amazing.' He tipped her head up to kiss her softly.

'Good.' She smiled against his lips.

'I hope you like yours.' He breathed, his hand running smoothly up her arm.

'I will.' She pressed a kiss to his jaw. 'You know,' she giggled. 'I know I've never done Christmas before, but I think I get the feeling it's a special day...' she smirked.

'Hmmm, I'm intrigued where you're going with this one.' He raised his eyebrows.

'Special enough to risk sex with your family in the house kind of special?' She giggled.

'Definitely.' He nodded, brushing his lips against hers. 'One hundred percent.'

'I thought you'd like that idea.' She giggled again.

'Love that idea.' He corrected, leaning to kiss her once more.

'I love being here with you but the lack of sex kind of sucks.'

'There's just so many people,' he sighed. 'Annoying people who like to walk into my room.'

'Three times in two weeks really isn't enough.'

'Definitely not.' He squeezed her to him. 'Especially not when it's near enough every day normally.' He laughed.

'Sometimes more than once a day.' She giggled.

'Exactly.'

'And I may have bought something special for you.' She chewed on her lip.

'Oh really?' He whispered.

'Yep.' She breathed.

'If it's anything like Thanksgiving then I'm going to struggle to keep quiet.'

'You were definitely too loud that night, someone could have heard us!' She gasped.

'I'm sorry but you looked... like that!'

'Well then maybe I'll have to save it for when we're back in Hanover.' She giggled.

'Erm no, absolutely not.' He tightened his arms around her. 'Christmas sex. Definitely Christmas sex.'

'Good.' She smiled, trailing her fingers along his jaw.

'Hmmm...' he smiled, leaning into her.

'What time are we waking up?'

'Well we have to be downstairs for half nine, so half eight?'

'Okay,' she murmured, kissing him softly.

'I'll set the alarm,' he said, reaching for his phone and setting it.

'Thanks,' she whispered as he pulled her back into his arms and turned her so they were spooning.

'I love you.' He breathed, kissing her neck softly.

'Hmmmm,' she sighed happily. 'Love you too.'

'Sleep.' He murmured. 'Santa will be here quicker.'

'I'm not five, Derek.' She giggled.

'Go to sleep.' He laughed squeezing her.

'Okay,' she rolled her eyes, turning her head quickly to catch his lips. 'Love you.'

'Love you. Now shhh, sleep.'

'Sleep.' She laughed, clutching his hand as he held her close.

 _Thank you for reading please review! X_


	59. Chapter 60

_Hi guys thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!_

Meredith began to stir from her very peaceful sleep with the immediate feeling of her boyfriend's lips on her chest. She reached her hands down to his curls as she opened her eyes sleepily to see him pressing kisses all over her skin above where her pyjama camisole rested. He smiled up at her at the realisation she was awake as her fingernails scratched his scalp softly.

'Morning,' she murmured, relishing in the feeling of him gently lying on top of her.

'Morning,' he smiled, pressing a kiss to her neck, before trailing them round to her mouth.

'Hi,' she giggled against his lips.

'Hi,' he grinned, leaning to kiss her. It started soft, his lips brushing lightly against hers, before she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and she deepened the kiss.

'Hmmmm,' she smiled into his mouth.

'Merry Christmas,' he whispered, kissing her again quickly.

'Merry Christmas,' she echoed, cupping his cheek in her hand. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He turned to kiss her palm.

'Love you,' she repeated, just holding his face in her hand and running her other through his hair, not being able to believe how beautiful he was. Derek was so beautiful.

'Love you more.' He smirked.

'Do not start this today,' she laughed, rolling her eyes. 'Christmas is supposed to be happy and I am not fighting with you.'

'Okay.' He sighed. 'It's equal or whatever.'

'It is.' She smiled. 'Except for the tiny bit more I love you.' She added quickly.

'Excuse me?' He gasped, rolling off her to pull her close, his hands moving along her body, tickling all of her sensitive spots he had come to know so well over the last six months. Six months. What the fuck, it was crazy to think that she, dark and twisty Meredith Grey had managed to keep s boyfriend for sixth whole months. And an amazing one at that. The best.

'Derek stop!' She giggled, swatting him.

'It's your fault!'

'Please!'

'Nope,' he laughed, continuing his torture.

'Fine! Fine! It's equal!'

'Thank you.' He smiled, stilling his hands on her hips and pulling her to him, kissing her temple.

'I hate when you do that.'

'I know.' He laughed. 'That's why I do it.'

'You're mean.' She pouted, her arms around his neck.

'Oh I am?' He raised his eyebrows.

'Yes, very.' She nodded.

'So a mean boyfriend would buy you Christmas presents?'

'Hmmmm,' her eyes lit up. 'It depends.' She giggled.

'You're impossible.' He laughed, kissing her quickly, before leaning away from her and moving out of the bed.

'Where are you going?' She frowned, holding her arm out. 'Come back.'

'I'm seeing if Santa came.'

'Oh.' She breathed, about to make a dirty joke until he opened his closet and pulled out the biggest gift bag she had ever seen. 'What the...'

He dragged it across the floor back to his bed and then bent down to pick it up and place it in front of her as she sat up against his headboard.

'Der...' she stared into the bag, seeing it full to the top with presents wrapped in brown paper with silver stars on.

'Yeah?' He smiled, kissing her cheek as he climbed back in next to her.

'This... this is... I didn't...'

'Relax,' he murmured, pressing another kiss to her cheek. 'I don't expect this much. You have nine-teen Christmases to catch up on.'

'What?' She turned her head to him quickly.

'You... I got you nine-teen presents. For nine-teen Christmases.'

'I...' Unable to form any actual words, tears rimming her eyes, she glanced at the huge bag again and then back at her boyfriend, who was looking so adorable in his flannel pyjamas and bed hair, his eyes a piercing blue. Before she could stop herself, she'd flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her head in his chest. She was squeezing him too tight, she knew she was squeezing him to tight but it was impossible not to squeeze him as close as possible to her right now.

'Derek...' she breathed, pulling up from his chest to meet his eyes. 'I...' she scrambled into his lap, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard, her tongue demanding entry into his mouth. He responded immediately, his hands moving along her back, hugging her close as they kissed.

'I love you.' She whispered, resting her forehead against his as a single tear streaked down her cheek.

'I love you too.' He smiled, wiping it away with his thumb.

'I... you didn't have to do this...'

'I wanted to.'

'I... I love you so much.'

'I love you so much too.' He grinned pressing another kiss to her lips.

'I... you really didn't have to.' She shook her head in awe.

'I just told you I wanted to.' He laughed softly.

'Thank you.' She murmured, running her hand through his hair slowly, lazily. 'I... this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'

'You haven't opened them yet,' he laughed. 'You might hate them.'

'Even if I do... it's the thought.' She whispered, brushing her lips against his.

'Well, I think the world of you.'

'I think the world of you too.'

'Are you going to open them?' He grinned.

'Yes. On one condition.' She grinned back.

'What?' He smirked.

'We can cuddle.'

'What kind of a condition is that?' He laughed, his hands running along her side. 'I plan on cuddling you all day anyway.'

'Good.' She nodded. 'Because you... I... this... cuddling. Lots of cuddling.' She giggled, kissing him quickly.

'Cuddle all day,' he murmured, pulling her into his arms so that she was sat between his legs as he rested against the headboard, his arms around her midsection as he had prime present-opening-watching-spot from over her shoulder, which he pressed a kiss to.

'Apart from when we're having sex.'

'Obviously apart from when we're having sex.'

'But after sex cuddling.' She nodded, reaching to try and pull the bag closer toward them.

'Always after sex cuddling.' He agreed, leaning to help her.

'After sex cuddling is my favourite.' She whispered, turning her head to kiss him.

'It is?' He asked against her lips.

'Yeah,' she breathed. 'I feel... closer to you or whatever...'

'Oh, me too.'

'Good.' She smiled, kissing him once more before turning to the ridiculously big bag. 'Is there an order... or?'

'Not really. I put the ones I want you to open last at the bottom.'

'Okay,' she murmured, reaching for one.

'They're not all big,' he explained. 'But... you've missed out on some Christmas classics growing up...'

'I'm intrigued,' she giggled, showing him the one she'd picked for his approval.

'Yeah, that's a good one to start with.'

'Okay,' she breathed, taring away the paper on the small present. 'What are these?' She laughed, examining what appeared to be candy in metallic foil.

'Chocolate coins,' he explained. 'Everyone gets chocolate coins at Christmas.'

'I've literally never even seen these before.'

'Open them.'

'Are they candy?'

'Chocolate.' He nodded as she opened the packet before pulling back the metallic foil from the coin shaped confection.

'It's just chocolate?'

'Just chocolate.' He smiled.

'So good,' she moaned as she ate one, instantly reaching for another.

'I thought you'd like those.' He chuckled.

'Hey,' she laughed. 'I like chocolate, okay?'

'Oh I know.' He teased, squeezing her.

'Shut up.' She giggled, pushing a chocolate into his mouth.

'Thanks.' He mumbled with his mouth full. 'Next one.'

'Next one,' she echoed, picking up a slightly bigger, softer gift that was near the top. 'This?'

'Yep.' He nodded. 'Go for it.'

'Kay,' she murmured, unwrapping it to reveal some pyjamas with tiny candy canes on them. 'What are these?' She giggled, holding up the red shorts and camisole.

'Christmas pyjamas. Everyone wears Christmas pyjamas on Christmas morning, well, we do in this house anyway.'

'So you got me some?' She breathed.

'Of course, you're having a Shepherd Christmas.' He kissed her cheek softly.

'Thank you.' She grinned, turning to kiss him. 'I'll put them on before we go down.'

'Good.'

'Although how did you get short Christmas pyjamas? It's December.' She laughed.

'You look good in shorts,' he shrugged. 'So there was no other option.'

'You're ridiculous.' She rolled her eyes, reaching for another present. 'I think I know what this is.' She grinned, opening the paper to reveal a bottle of tequila.

'The classic.'

'Of course, thank you.' She smiled at him.

'You're very welcome.'

'This will come in handy when we go back to school.'

'Very, I like you on tequila.'

'I know you do.' She smirked, leaning to press a lingering kiss to his lips.

'Next one.' He grinned.

'Next one.' She nodded, opening another gift. 'Der...' she breathed. 'My perfume?'

'It's been like eight months since your birthday I figured you'd be needing some more soon.'

'Thank you,' she gripped his hand. 'This is expensive... I already told you... you...'

'Mer,' he smiled. 'I wanted to.'

'I know but-'

'No buts.' He silenced her with his lips. 'Now open the next one, no arguments.'

'Okay,' she sighed. 'What number is this one?'

'Five?'

'Five.' She smiled, opening her next present.

'Now, if you don't like this it's on Liv,' he said quickly. 'She said you were admiring hers at Thanksgiving.'

'I love it.' She grinned, taring off the paper to see the amazing Tom Ford eyeshadow palette Olivia had. 'Thank you!'

'You're welcome.' He smiled. 'I had to get her to get it because apparently I couldn't be trusted to get the right one.' He rolled his eyes as she leant into his chest.

'Well I love it. Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

'Next one?'

'Next one.' He nodded as she picked up the smallest present she could see.

'This looks ominous...'

'Open it.' He smirked as she tore away the paper.

'Derek!' She gasped, the box of condoms in her hands.

'What?' He laughed. 'I thought they would come in useful!'

'They will,' she laughed, fully turning in his lap to straddle his waist, kissing him hard with the box of condoms still in her hand as her arms wrapped around his neck.

'Love you.' He whispered into her mouth.

'Love you too.'

'Hmmmm...'

'Is it really bad that all I want to do is have sex all day with you?' She giggled.

'Considering my family would never let us get away with that in a million years, yes.' He chuckled.

'Too bad.' She pouted.

'The day we get back to Hanover we can spend all day having sex.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.' He grinned, kissing her softly. 'Put those bad boys to good use.'

'Okay.' She smiled.

'Now, next one.'

'Next one.' She repeated, turning back around but staying in his lap. 'Derek,' she giggled, fishing a Victoria's Secret bag from under the wrapped gifts. 'Oh wow,' she breathed, pulling out the two bras and two pairs of panties. 'Why do I have a feeling these are for you too?'

'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Oh shut up,' she laughed. 'So you totally didn't buy these just to see me in them?' She raised her eyebrow.

'Maybe.' He smirked.

'Thought so.' She giggled as she examined the black and gold bra which looked like it was going to push her boobs extremely up, and the matching lacy panties which he seemed to really like on her.

'I thought you could wear them tonight but then you said you'd already bought something.' He kissed below her ear gently.

'I can save it for when we get back?'

'No,' he shook his head. 'Wear these when we get back, I want to see what you've bought.'

'You'll like it.' She grinned.

'Of course I will. I could never not like you in any form of sexy lingerie.'

'Okay.' She giggled. 'Thank you.' She said as she put them back in the bag before reaching for another gift.

'You're welcome.'

'Number eight.'

'Number eight.' He smiled as she pulled out another box. 'This one... it's just something everyone gets at Christmas.'

'Everyone?'

'Everyone.' He nodded. 'It's like a given, you know you'll get some off someone.'

'Okay,' she smiled, opening the present. It was a toiletry set of shower gel, soap, hand cream and bubble bath. 'Bath stuff?' She laughed.

'Yep.' He nodded. 'Very impersonal and something you normally get from someone who doesn't know what else to buy you.'

'Like you?' She teased.

'Hey, I was just trying to educate you in Christmas! I even got you lavender.'

'You did.' She smiled at her boyfriends knowledge of her toiletry products.

'I figured lavender shower stuff to go with lavender conditioner.'

'Makes sense.' She nodded.

'It smells like you.' He shrugged.

'It does?'

'Yeah, you... you and lavender just go.'

'Oh.' She smiled.

'Every time I think of it I think of you.' He said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and breathing in the scent he loved so much.

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too. Next one.'

'Okay,' she lent forwards to grab another present from the bag. 'This is nine, right?'

'It is.' He smiled.

'Oh Der I love it.' She grinned, seeing a framed picture of them from Tim's birthday at the bar. His arms were wrapped around her waist and she was leant into him, one arm around his back and her free hand resting on his chest. His cheek was touching her temple as he leaned into her, both of them smiling.

'You do?'

'I love it.' She repeated, kissing him. 'Thank you.'

'I thought it could go on your dresser.'

'Definitely.' She nodded, putting it down on her pile before leaning in to pick another box up, this one oddly shaped. 'I don't have any idea what this is.'

'You haven't had a clue about any of them.' He laughed.

'Not true! I knew tequila straight away.'

'You'd recognise that bottle anywhere.' He rolled his eyes.

'Hey you just said you liked me on tequila!'

'I do, it makes you very horny.' He nodded.

'It does.' She agreed. 'So don't you be complaining unless you don't want crazy drunken sex.'

'I always want sex.'

'I know,' she giggled. 'Me too.'

'Well that makes us perfect for each other.' He kissed her quickly.

'It does. Amongst other things.'

'Definitely.' He nodded. 'Now open.'

'Opening.' She laughed, seeing a money box in her hands, one of the ones that you couldn't open unless you smashed. It was covered in a world map and had the words 'One Day' painted on in silver in some fancy handwriting.

'I thought If were serious about going, which I am, we could just keep putting money in there to save it up and then at least it can build up over time and even if we save in our bank accounts or whatever, we'll have some cash that we can convert to euros or whatever.'

'Oh my god,' she breathed. 'Yes.'

'Yes?' He laughed.

'Definitely. We have to go.'

'We will.' He smiled warmly at her, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

'Is it weird that we're planning something that we don't know how far in the future might happen?' She asked softly, cuddling into him.

'I don't think so,' he whispered. 'I mean... it's big... and t means things but... I don't think it's weird. I love you. And I want to be with you forever, not planning to do things with you would be more weird.'

'Yeah.' She agreed. 'I've just never pictured myself having plans like this with anyone.' She murmured.

'Is it too much?' He breathed, his eyes going wide.

'No, no.' She shook her head. 'God no, Derek. I... I'm excited to plan the future with you I just... never expected it. Especially not now.'

'I know,' he nodded. 'Were young.'

'But I know I want you.' She squeezed his hand. 'Forever.'

'Forever.' He echoed, smiling.

'Your mom met your dad young.'

'She did,' he nodded.

'And I know I've never had a boyfriend before and we've only been together six months but I... I don't know... I want things... with you. When I think about like... going to Med school with you and Europe with you I just... get excited and happy.'

'Me too.' He smiled. 'And I know I've had girlfriends before.. kind of. I've never felt the same way about any of them the way I have with you.'

'Really?' She stated up at him.

'Really.' He smiled. 'You... I.. me and you forever just makes sense.'

'It does.' She grinned, kissing him. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He murmured against her lips. 'And you still have nine presents to open.'

'I do,' she giggled, turning back to the gift bag and pulling out a large, light, cylinder shaped gift. 'What the fuck is this?' She laughed, unwrapping it to find cardboard packaging, reaching for the white lid at the top. 'What...' she breathed, pulling out the black poser that had the world map outlined in white on.

'It's a scratch map,' he explained. 'Once you've been somewhere you scratch it with a coin and the back comes off and it's silver gold and bronze underneath.'

'Oh my god.' She whispered, tracing the outlines with her finer.

'I thought we could scratch off everywhere we go together for the rest of our lives.'

'I...' she started. 'Will you ever stop being the most romantic boyfriend ever?' She laughed, although her eyes full of tears.

'No.' He shrugged, smirking. 'I love you, baby.' He whispered, leaning to kiss her softly.

'Mmm' she moaned into his mouth, gripping his cheeks in her hands. 'I love you so much.'

'Good.' He smiled.

'I... I can't believe you got me all these things.' She shook her head.

'You still have eight left.' He laughed.

'I don't know how you managed to think of nine teen things for me.'

'Just wanted to spoil you.' He shrugged.

'Well don't think this is happening every year, there is no way I am letting you spend this much money on me again.'

'I'll spoil you as much as I want thank you very much.' He laughed, pulling her back into his chest and kissing her temple. 'Now open.'

'Okay.' She reached for the next gift smiling instantly when she realised what t was. 'You knew I wanted these!' She grinned, holding up the white chuck Taylor converse.

'I did.' He laughed.

'Thank you!' She hugged him. 'Is this why you taught me out of buying them the other day in the city?'

'It is.' He nodded.

'Thank you,' she leaned to kiss him.

'You're welcome.'

'So that's twelve?'

'Twelve.' He nodded.

'Is there any order for these?' She nodded towards the remaining presents in the bag.'

'The smaller three are last.' He nodded. 'The rest is up to you.'

'Okay.' She nodded, reaching for the biggest one, which was really soft. 'Der,' she grinned at the grey hoodie with Hollister in navy blue. 'This is so soft!'

'Feel the inside.'

'Oh god,' she moaned as her hands ran along the material. 'That feels so comfy.'

'I thought so.' He nodded.

'Thank you so much.' She kissed his cheek. 'I love it.'

'I thought the colours were very you.'

'They are.' She nodded. 'Thank you.'

'You're more than welcome.'

'Thank you, though.'

'You're welcome.' He kissed her lightly on the lips, squeezing her hands to urge her to open the next presents.

'Okay,' she murmured, reaching for another squirt one. 'My favourite!' She beamed opening the five bags of her favourite cola bottle candy he had tied together and wrapped up

'Your favourite.' He echoed, kissing her temple.

'Thank you.' She grinned leaning into him as his scent overwhelmed her, making her smile even wider. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Okay so I have five left, and the small three are last?'

'Yeah,' he nodded, reaching for one. 'Open this one.'

'Okay,' she smiled, opening the gift.

'They're the one you wanted, right?' He asked nervously as she held her new makeup brush set in her hands.

'Yes,' she breathed. 'You... how did you know?'

'You said when you were looking at them on your phone a few weeks ago.'

'When?' She frowned.

'One day after class, we were just lay on your bed.'

'And you remembered?'

'Yeah,' he nodded. 'Well, I was hoping so.'

'You're the best.' She grinned, kissing him. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Now last one before the big ones.'

'Derek they've all been big.'

'I gave you candy.' He laughed.

'And hollister, and perfume, and make up!'

'The last three are the best.'

'Okay.' She murmured, picking up the last big one.

'I hope you like it.'

'I will.' She nodded, rating back the paper to see a black Ted Baker purse. 'Derek... this is... seriously you've spent so much money.'

'I told you,' he kissed her head softly. 'Making up for lost time.'

'You... I love it.'

'I'm glad.' He smiled.

'Seriously, thank you so much. You really didn't have to get me all this... thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

'Which one of these should I open first?' She asked picking up the three wrapped boxes.

'Well, these two go together.' He picked two up and put them on the bed. 'And that's separate.' He put the other a bit further away. 'But which one first is up to you.'

'I don't want to pick.' She shook her head. 'You decide.'

'I... okay,' he breathed, picking the two together up and putting them in her lap. 'The bigger then the smaller.'

'Okay,' she smiled, opening the paper carefully to reveal a pandora box. 'Derek...'

'Open it.' He smiled.

She pulled out an empty silver, what she assumed to be a charm bracelet. 'Derek,'

'And the other one.'

'Okay.' She breathed, opening the smaller box to pull out a simple silver love-heart. 'It's a charm bracelet?'

'It is.' He grinned.

'Oh wow.'

'We can fill it with memories.'

'We can,' she smiled, taking his hand. 'Will you put it on?'

'I will.' He nodded, taking her wrist and closing the bracelet around it gently.

'I love it.'

'Good.' He squeezed his arms around her and kissed her temple.

'I really... love it. Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Now last one.'

'Last one' she smiled, picking up the last box. 'Oh my...' she grinned, tracing the silver ring made up of tiny hearts that was inside.

'It's a promise ring.' He murmured.

'A promise ring?' She breathed her eyes wet.

'Me promising you I'm always going to be here for you and I'm always going to love you.'

'Derek...'

'I love you.' He kissed her softly.

'I love you too. So much.' she ran her hand through his hair as he held her close, his tongue entwining with hers.

'This is.. Derek it's all too much.'

'Stop saying that.' He laughed. 'It's done now.'

'Well I've already told you it's never happening again.'

'Yes dear.'

'Hey.' She hit his chest playfully.

'So you like them all?'

'Derek I love them,' she kissed him again. 'Thank you so much.'

'You're welcome.'

'Now you have to open yours... but... I didn't get you this many.'

'Hey I already told you, I've had twenty one christmases already,' he laughed. 'This is all new to you.'

'I know,' she whispered chewing on her lip. 'Okay,' I'll get them.' She jumped off the bed and to her suitcase where she pulled out a gift bag. 'There you go.' She smiled proudly.

'Thank you,' he grinned, kissing her as she snuggled into his side.

'I hope you like them.'

'I will.' He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. 'Do I open any first?' He asked, looking at the three gifts.

'The big ones last.'

'Okay,' he nodded. 'But either of the other two first?'

'Yep.' She nodded.

'Okay,' he breathed, picking the first one up. 'I'm very intrigued.'

'I think you'll like that one.' She chewed her lip.

'Oh wow,' he grinned, opening it to see his favourite fishing magazine, with a card inside.

'It's a years subscription.' She said quickly. 'I think it's one every month.'

'Wow, thanks Mer.' He smiled, ducking his head to capture her lips.

'I know it's your favourite.' She smiled.

'It is.' He nodded. 'Thank you so much.'

'You're welcome.' She beamed, wrapping her arms around him as he opened his second present. 'I love them,' he smiled, taking out the silver and navy blue ferryboat cuff links from their tiny box. 'They're so nice.'

'You like them?'

'I love them.'

'There were some tacky ones online but... I thought those were perfect.'

'Perfect.'

'Very you.'

'Thanks.' He said, putting them away before reaching for his last one. 'This is a bit heavy,' he laughed, pulling it out.

'I hope you like it.'

'I will.' He nodded, tearing back the paper to see a scrapbook. 'Mer...'

'Open it.' She said quietly.

Inside were pictures of them since they became friends, movie ticket stubs, all sorts of things, their plane tickets to New York. Every picture he could think there was of the two of them, and then the rest of the book left blank.

'I thought we could finish it?' She said nervously.

'Mer...' he breathed, his eyes full of tears.

'You like it?'

'Love it. I love it so much, Mer. Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' She grinned, kissing him. 'I did well for a first Christmas then?'

'You did amazing.'

'I wasn't really sure what to get or how much to spend...'

'These are perfect.'

'Oh,' she giggled. 'Good.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.' She replied, leaning to kiss him slow and tenderly. 'What time will your mom be expecting us downstairs?'

'Any minute.' He sighed. 'I'm glad we did this on our own.' He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head.

'Me too.' She agreed, lacing her fingers through his. 'This has already been the best Christmas ever.'

 _Thank you for reading! Please review X_


	60. Chapter 61

_Hi guys! Okay so firstly I am SO sorry for the delay in this update. I've been working so much these last couple of weeks, having two part time jobs to get through summer definitely has it's downsides! Every time I have gone to finish this chapter, something else has come up- however it's here now and I'm once again so sorry for the delay! Okay, so, also, as I mentioned before this fic is coming to an end, this will be the penultimate chapter of Help Me Lose My Mind before the epilogue (Which I hope wont take as long as this update!)._

 _However, although I feel like Meredith and Derek's college story is done, they have had their ups and downs in getting together and have now a fully established their relationship. I want to see (hopefully so do you!) where they will be in the future. And so, once this is done there WILL be a sequel (which will *HOPEFULLY* be the second in what I hope will become the HMLMM trilogy!), I have lots of ideas as to where their college romance will take them and I hope you stick with me to enjoy their next chapter!_

 _Thank you, PP X_

Christmas had been perfect. It had been everything he had hoped it would be for his girlfriend's first proper family one, it was all just so perfect. After they had exchanged gifts, they had made their way downstairs, both of them in their Christmas pyjamas, and joined his mom and siblings to open the rest of the presents.

Meredith had sat on his lap in the big armchair, surprised when his mom handed her a present, as well as a joint one from Liv and Imogen and another from Lara and Claire. Mark had also gotten her a bottle of tequila, which made her tear up, making him laugh.

Despite them having bought every single member of his family a present together, apparently his girlfriend was so adorably unassuming that she was in total shock when they had returned the gesture. They had all loved what the two of them had bought, and their presents had been great, too. Olivia and Imogen had given Meredith a new makeup bag full of all new 'essentials' according to Liv. She was very much into her makeup, a lot more than Meredith was, and she'd seemed thrilled with everything inside.

Lara and Claire had gotten her a Sephora gift card, and Mark the bottle of Tequila. His mom, however, had really gone all out to make Meredith feel as welcome and included as possible, giving her a stocking full of small gifts, and then a charm for the Pandora bracelet Derek had bought her, a simple silver Christmas tree. He'd helped her fasten it back on her wrist after she had added her new charm, and she jumped off his lap to give his mom a big hug.

It was weird, Christmas had always been a thing in his house and it never occurred to him, until he saw Meredith so in awe and grateful, that not everyone had such a fun holiday season.

After gifts his mom had cooked them breakfast, and they'd just laid around the sofas all day, with Christmas movies on. Meredith had insisted on cuddling with him the whole time, not that he had any objections.

Dinner was amazing too. They'd all helped Alison in some way in order to prepare it, and then they'd all showered and changed in time to eat it. Afterward, they had played games, as tradition. Charades being one of them, resulting in all of them in hysterics. Then they'd had supper before bed, but Meredith had been hungry after sex, and so he'd had to sneak down and get her some cookies.

It was now a week later, and the last day of the year. They were all going to his Uncle Stan's house later for his annual New Year's Eve party, but for now, he, Meredith and Liv were all sat in the living room. Mark had taken his mom out to run some errands she wanted to do before they left for Stan's and Lara and Claire were upstairs talking or something… whatever it was the two of them did up there.

'What have Dartmouth told you guys about applying for Med school?' Said Liv, putting her glass of soda and on the table next to her.

'They said we have to have applications ready when we come back in the fall,' he murmured, as Meredith looked up from her place in his arms.

'Same,' his sister nodded. 'But have you looked at open days and stuff? They're all like July.'

'They are?'

'Yeah,' Liv nodded. 'So I'm going to try and narrow it down to the ones I want to see by like June.'

'Yeah, we were thinking about looking at them when we go back.' He nodded.

'Me too,' his sister agreed. 'Do you have any ideas of any already?'

'Dartmouth,' he breathed. 'We know staying there is going to be an option for us.'

'I… would you be mad if I looked at Dartmouth?' she asked tentatively.

'What? No of course not.' He said quickly.

'I don't wanna cramp your guys style or anything.'

'We'd love it if you came,' Meredith smiled, squeezing Derek's hand. 'Right Der?'

'Definitely.' He grinned.

'Good,' Liv sighed in relief. 'I mean, I haven't got my heart set on it or anything, but I want to look into it.'

'Where else are you thinking?'

'Columbia,' she nodded. 'Potentially Bowdoin. What about you guys?'

'The same, maybe Harvard too.'

'That would be cool.' Liv smiled. 'You're looking together, right?'

'Yeah,' Derek nodded.

'Definitely.' Meredith grinned, leaning back into him. 'We're going to apply to all the same ones, and go where we both get in.'

'Sounds good.' Liv smiled. 'Can you fill me in if you find out anything interesting or anything you think I should know about anywhere?'

'Of course.' His girlfriend nodded. 'Can you do the same for us?'

'Obviously.' Liv laughed slightly. 'Are you guys excited for med school?'

'Yeah,' Derek nodded. 'Its crazy that we're already having to think about it though.'

'I know,' Liv agreed, her eyes wide. 'I feel like I've only been there five minutes.'

'Me too.' Said Meredith. 'It's so weird.'

'Do you know what Mark's doing?'

'I think he's wanting to stay at Dartmouth still.' Derek nodded. 'He's really keen on it.'

'I think Tim wants to stay too.' Said Meredith.

'That would be fun.' Derek laughed.

'Don't I know it.' Meredith rolled her eyes.

'I want to meet these guys,' Liv smiled. 'They seem fun. Time and Dexter right?'

'Yep.' Meredith nodded. 'And then Holly, Tim's girlfriend too.'

'Is she nice?'

'So nice.' Meredith emphasised. 'And they just became official it's so cute.'

'She is really nice.' Derek nodded.

'It's good that you guys get on,' Liv smiled at Meredith. 'Makes it easy for when all of you guys hang out.'

'Exactly.' Meredith nodded. 'And she's genuinely so easy to get on with.'

'You two have become good friends.' Derek smiled at his girlfriend, leaning to kiss her cheek lightly.

'She's really nice.' Meredith shrugged. 'And very different from Izzie and Cristina.'

'They're your room mates right?' asked Liv.

'Yep.'

'Are you guys all getting along? Abby who I live with is seriously stressing me out.'

'We have out moments,' Meredith laughed softly. 'But we're good. Me and Cristina had a bit of a clash not so long back but it's kind of better now.'

'It is.' Derek agreed, squeezing her hand.

'That's good.' Liv nodded, reaching back for her soda. 'So have you enjoyed your first Christmas, Mer? Like for real, you don't have to lie- mom isn't here.'

'No I genuinely have,' Meredith laughed. 'It's been amazing and I cant thank you guys enough for having me here I've loved it.'

'Well, considering Derek spending God knows how much on you, it's not surprising.' Liv laughed in return.

'Oh, I know,' Meredith said more seriously, turning to him. 'I've already told him it was way too much and it's never happening again. Not that I'm not grateful.'

'I'd be milking it for all it's worth,' Liv nodded. 'He's never spent that much on any of us.'

'That's because there's five of you!' He protested.

'And it would be nice for you to show your favourites some love.'

'My favourites?' he laughed.

'Don't even try and deny it.' His sister smirked.

'I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'Yeah, yeah, bro.' She rolled her eyes. 'So when are you guys heading back to Dartmouth?'

'Well, school starts back on the sixth, so we were thinking the second?'

'Yeah I think Claire's going back then too.'

'She is?'

'Yeah, I don't know about La. Im's going back to Flordia on the seventh I think.'

'Has La heard anything from Jake over the holidays?' he asked, trailing his fingertips up Meredith's forearm lazily.

'Don't think so,' Liv shook her head. 'Has she said anything to you?'

'Nope.' He shook his head.

'Okay, if I tell you something you have to promise not to tell, okay?'

'O-kay….' Said Derek, frowning curiously at his sister.

'I think Claire might be seeing Tom again.'

'Oh for fuck's sake.' Derek groaned. 'You have got to be kidding me?'

'No,' She shook her head. 'I mean…. I don't know for sure and you can not say anything but I think she is.'

'Is that her ex?' Meredith breathed.

'Yeah, fucking pain in the ass.'

'Why?' his girlfriend murmured, kissing his cheek.

'He cheated on her.'

'What?' Meredith's eyes widened. 'Seriously?'

'Yup….' Nodded Liv. 'He is baaaad news. Seriously he's a jackass.'

'Then why is she into him?'

'Fuck knows.'

'I cant be going through this whole thing again,' Derek shook his head.

'I know,' sighed Liv. 'But do not say anything.'

'I wont.'

'Why is she with him if he cheated on her?' Meredith frowned.

'Literally don't know,' Liv sighed. 'Its been on off on off forever. I thought we'd finally gotten rid of him.'

'I know,' agreed Derek. 'She hadn't seen him in like a year so I thought that was it.'

'Me too.' Said Liv.

'Does mom know?'

'What? God no. And do not tell her. Don't tell anybody.'

'Does Im know?'

'Obviously.'

'Mark?'

'No. And don't tell him.'

'Yo,' Said Imogen, entering the room and flopping on the opposite couch to her sister.

'Hey,' smiled Meredith.

'What we talking about?' she asked, opening a bag of chips.

'Med school,' Said Liv, shooting Derek a look. He knew of course Imogen knew about Claire if Liv did, but he also knew his youngest sister was probably the biggest gossip of them all.

'Urgh, you guys have to start applying for them already?'

'In the fall,' Derek sighed.

'That sucks.'

'I know right,' Liv agreed. 'I was just asking these guys where they were thinking of going.'

'Please nowhere in Florida.' Imogen said quicly before smiling nervously. 'Not that I don't love you guys…. But the gross-ness…. It's a lot.'

'Gross-ness?' Derek laughed.

'You know…. The touching and the kissing and the sex we're all totally pretending to not hear you guys have.'

'You hear us?' Meredith's eyes almost popped out their sockets as her face stilled and her cheeks redden.

'You're not exactly quiet.' His sister shrugged.

'We… we thought we were….'

'If that's your version of quiet….' Liv laughed.

'You heard us too?' Meredith turned to her.

'I think we all do,' she laughed. 'Well… mom hasn't said anything. And we're all pretty sure she would if she did, I mean… remember that time she made a comment about Lara and Jake two Christmases ago?'

'Oh god,' Imogen laughed. 'I think they were celibate every single time they were here after that.'

'So you… you hear us having sex?' Meredith repeated, visually mortified.

'Yep, and its gross.' Said Imogen. 'No offence.'

'At least you know I'm good,' Derek smirked.

'Derek!' his tiny girlfriend hit his chest, a serious look on her face.

'What? I am.' He grinned.

'Nobody apart from me needs to know that.'

'Unlucky for us we all do.' Imogen winced. 'And so are you by the sounds he was making last night.' She continued, before imitating her older brother. 'Oh Meredith! Oh God! Fuck! Meredith! Fuck Meredith!'

'Shut up!' Derek groaned, his own face going red as he threw a cushion at his youngest sibling.

'It's funny,' she laughed. 'You moan very loud, Derek.'

'Oh god…' Meredith said quietly, burying her face in Derek's neck.

'Maybe I'll rethink Dartmouth,' Olivia laughed.

'I would,' nodded Imogen.

'It is a really good school though.' Liv sighed.

'It is,' Derek nodded, glad the attention was off his sex life, his girlfriend curled in his arms tightly.

'So what, are you thinking about options?' Imogen asked, diving back into her chips.

'Yeah,' Liv nodded.

'Where are you thinking?'

'Well I don't have my heart set on anywhere yet, but I'm mainly thinking Columbia or Dartmouth.'

'Columbia unless you want Derek's moaning to be the soundtrack to the next five years of your life.'

'Seriously,' Derek groaned, looking unimpressed with his sister while rubbing Meredith's back softly.

'I do like the look of Columbia,' Liv nodded. 'But I guess it depends where I'm accepted.'

'You're at the top of your class so you should be able to go anywhere.' Imogen smiled proudly.

'I hope so.'

'What about you, fuck bunnies, where are you thinking of?' Imogen smirked. And while he didn't appreciate the sex jokes, he did like how his sister was so comfortable around his girlfriend to tease her like she did the rest of the family, even if Meredith didn't always realise she was joking.

'Actually we're also thinking of Dartmouth and Columbia,' Derek laughed. 'Right Mer?'

'Yeah,' she nodded, sitting up slightly, but still leaning into him. 'And possibly Harvard too.'

'That would be so cool, Harvard Med School.'

'Not as impressive as Harvard Law,' Derek laughed, kissing the top of Meredith's head.

'I don't really care as long as we're together,' Meredith murmured, squeezing Derek's hand.

'Me neither,' he smiled warmly at her, before leaning to kiss her softly.

'See this- this is why you should avoid them.' Imogen smirked to her sister.

'Death by PDA,' Liv laughed.

'Stop making fun of us,' Derek laughed, standing up from the arm chair and scooping Olivia up off the couch and flinging her over his shoulder.

'Derek!' she shrieked. 'Put me down!'

'No,' he laughed, lowering her further over his shoulder slightly.

'Derek!'

'No,' he grinned.

'Derek let me down now!'

'Only if you promise not to talk about the sex.' He smirked.

'I don't even want to think about you having sex!' she rolled her eyes.

'So no mention to mom?'

'No mention to mom.' She sighed.

'And no more sex jokes?'

'No more sex jokes.' She agreed.

'And that goes for you too,' he turned to Imogen. 'And no complaints of grossness otherwise I'll be dangling you over the pond like dad used to.'

'You wouldn't dare.' Imogen narrowed her eyes.

'Oh I would.'

'Im just agree I'm getting a blood rush to my head!'

'Okay,' Imogen sighed, looking at her sister over her brothers shoulder. 'Fine.'

'Thank you,' Derek grinned, placing his sister back on the ground before walking over to his girlfriend and picking her up, her arms immediately going around his neck as she nuzzled into him, giggling. 'Now, we're about to go have sex while mom's out.'

'Ew!' Imogen and Olivi said in unison.

'Bye,' Derek smiled over his shoulder, carrying his girlfriend up the stairs.

 _Please let me know your thoughts on a potential sequel/trilogy and thank you for reading! X_


	61. Chapter 62

_Hi guys! Thank you so much for the nice feedback on my last post! It makes me so happy to know you guys have enjoyed this story and thank you all so so much for reading and thank you to those of you that have left a review (or fifty!). I have enjoyed writing this so much, and will try and get the next one started as soon as possible. I hope you like the end of this fic, I think it's very fitting for them, and will lead you nicely into the sequel. Please please leave me a review on this chapter if you havent left any this whole story- I would love to know what you think now it's done!_

'Der!' she called from her bedroom, making her way into the living room, finding him sat on the couch, holding what she assumed was one of his med school applications. It was September fifth, a week before they had to send off all of their applications. Apparently it had been a lot more complicated and expensive than either of them were expecting.

Derek had told her what Lara had advised them on, but neither of them had really been prepared for the cost of applications and admission tests. Especially not when Derek wasn't in the same financial situation as her. Her mom, despite not believing in her, could afford to send her to any med school in the country if she got in. Derek, on the other hand, was much more limited- it was a stretch as it was him being at Dartmouth and the rest of his siblings also being at good colleges. So, they'd applied to a variety of med schools, with only Dartmouth and Columbia being the big ones. Their grades were indisputable, so she was hoping hoping hoping that they would get in Dartmouth together.

They'd decided that would be their preferred option, to stay at Dartmouth and their next preference Columbia. But if not, they had decided they would go to the best school they both got accepted to. It was weird, when she was applying for college she was determined to get into the best one possible, but now, even though she obviously wanted to go to the best, she didn't want to go if she wasn't with Derek.

They'd already discussed what would happen if one of them got in and the other didn't, and while Derek insisted she should stay if she got in, she'd equally insisted she wouldn't. They were to go together, whether that was at Dartmouth or Columbia or neither. She couldn't imagine her life without him anymore. They had been together almost a year and three months, and to be honest, she couldn't remember not being with Derek. He was amazing. She was pretty sure she had bagged herself the best boyfriend in the world or something, because she couldn't imagine being with anyone else ever.

He made her so happy, he cheered her up when she was sad, he let her cry when she was upset, he bought her a lot of food when she was on her period- well, he bought her a lot of food all the time. He was just amazing. There was no other way to describe him. If it was possible to fall in love with someone more and more every day, then she was definitely doing that with Derek.

Sure, he pissed her off sometimes, but at the end of the day, she knew he was there for her and that he loved her. Whenever they had a fight they would always work it out and would always have amazing sex afterward, and so usually, the fight was worth it just for the orgasms.

Her mom still hadn't come round to her relationship, and still didn't treat it seriously, but Derek's mom was the complete opposite. She had welcomed Meredith into their home again for Spring break, and had let her stay most of summer. Derek had worked for his uncle again, and she had managed to get a job in a dingy restaurant, waiting tables, so they weren't sponging off Alison. Plus, they'd spent a week's work experience at a health clinic in Manhattan together, so it could go on their resume.

Life was good. Life was really, really good right now. She had the world's most amazing boyfriend, she still had her great apartment with Izzie and Cristina, and her grades were beyond acceptable. But there was something she couldn't get off her mind. Something which she thought Derek would take either really well…. Or really not so well.

'Hey,' he smiled up at her as she approached him in her sweats, sitting next to him on the couch and curling into his side.

'Hey,' she grinned, tipping her head up to kiss him softly as he put his paper down and wrapped an arm around her.

'You okay?' he murmured, squeezing her slightly.

'Yeah,' she grinned. 'What you doing?'

'Just checking over our letters of application,' he sighed, picking up the pile next to him.

'I…' she chewed her lip nervously as he handed her hers.

'What?' he asked, looking at the paper in front of him.

'I have to ask you something.' She said quickly.

'Okay,' he nodded.

'And you might think I'm crazy and if you don't want to then that's fine. It's fine. But I've been thinking a lot about it recently and I just…. You're going to think I'm crazy. It…. It doesn't matter, forget I said anything.'

'Hey, Mer,' he frowned, taking her hands in his own. 'I wont think you're crazy.'

'You will.' She breathed.

'Okay, so maybe I already think you're a little crazy,' he laughed softly, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear. 'But tell me anyway.'

'I…. no.'

'Mer,' he smiled at her with his perfect smile and sparkling eyes. Damn him and his perfectness.

'Let's defer a year,' she blurted.

'Defer?' he repeated in disbelief.

'Yeah…. I mean… we always talk about going to Europe and wanting to travel around and really take our time and do all these cool things but… if we don't do it now then… then we probably never will. I mean, once we're in med school that's another five years, because we probably wont have time to earn enough money to go, and if we do we'd have to do it in a summer. But med school summers aren't like college summers, you have more work and rotations and experience and all that. And then if you don't apply for your internship[ straight out of med school then you're almost guaranteed not to get in anywhere and obviously that's no good. ' She said so quickly she had to stop for a breath.

'And I know… I know you already took a couple years out so you probably wont want to take another one… but if you do… I've been thinking about it a lot and I think it could be amazing.'

'You… you want to go to Europe?' he breathed.

'Yeah…. I mean… we want to go for a few months, right? So I was thinking, we've been saving up in the jar, and we both have money we made in summer that we have left… and if we defer a year… we could work all summer and then more hours when everyone else goes back to school and maybe go in like April to August or something? I don't know… I've been researching and I've been thinking… and trying to work out how much we would make if I stayed at the restaurant and you worked for Stan and… I think it could be amazing….'

'It sounds….. yeah…' he breathed. 'Yeah….' He repeated, grinning.

'Yeah?' she mirrored his grin, totally and utterly surprised.

'Yeah. I mean… you're right. It's kind of crazy and spontaneous but… we're probably never going to have that amount of time again… especially while we're young and… yeah.'

'So you want to?' she beamed, grabbing his hand.

'It sounds amazing,' he laughed.

'Really?' she giggled.

'Really.' He nodded. 'We… you come stay in New York after this year and we… work and save and it sounds amazing.'

'I was looking at routes and stuff, you can do this thing called interrailing where you buy a train pass and can travel on trains throughout Europe and stuff and it… it looks so good.'

'Okay we are definitely doing that.' He nodded.

'I cant believe you said yes!' she squealed, launching herself at him.

'I… neither can I,' he laughed. 'We need to go through and change all of these,' he gestured toward the letters on his lap.

'I've looked into that too,' she nodded. 'All we have to do is literally change our entry year to next year and it becomes a deferred application.'

'How long have you been thinking about this?' he smiled, kissing the top of her head.

'A few weeks,' she said quietly.

'You've thought a lot about it,' he nodded.

'I have. And I… Europe, Derek.'

'I know,' he breathed, kissing her crown again.

'Are you sure it's not too crazy?'

'Maybe a little, but I like that you make me a bit crazy,' he laughed.

'I love you.' She whispered, squeezing his hand.

'I love you too.'

'I… do you think your mom would be okay with it?'

'I think so,' he nodded. 'I'll have to check obviously, see if we can stay. But honestly, I think she'll like having us there. I know Lara's closer now, and Liv's still in New York, but the house is so big for one person, I think she'd quite like having us there for a bit.'

'I hope so,' she whispered, burying her head in his chest.

'What about your mom?' he murmured.

'What about her?'

'What will she say?'

'Well we all know she'll have a lot to say,' she groaned, relaxing into Derek. 'But it's my life.'

'It is.'

'I'll be twenty one by the time we go, I can make decisions for myself.'

'You can,' he nodded.

'And I wont ask her for any money,'

'We can work for it ourselves.' He nodded.

'Exactly. We can just pool everything we make.'

'Sounds good to me,' he tightened his arms around her. 'I cant believe we're really doing this.'

'Me neither,' she giggled. 'We need to tell our advisors.'

'We can do that once I've spoken to mom, I'll call her after dinner.'

'Sounds good,' she leaned to kiss him. 'I've been looking at flights….'

'You have?' he laughed.

'Yeah and there are some really cheap ones to England right now… like two hundred dollars. So I think once we've sent our applications with the option to defer, we should book them, because they'll only go up. And I've read the UK is a good place to start because you can get this train or something underwater from there to Paris and then you're on mainland Europe.'

'Wow you have looked into this.' He chuckled.

'I told you,' she giggled. 'We can see the Eiffel tower.'

'We can,' he grinned. 'And the leaning tower of Pisa.'

'And Barcelona.'

'And the Northern Lights.'

'And Ireland,' she breathed, lacing her fingers through his.

'And Buckingham Palace.'

'Auschwitz, even though it's a bit morbid.'

'Definitely morbid but definitely happening.'

'Belgian Chocolate.' she breathed, practically dreuling.

'Trust you to make it about food.' he laughed.

'Hey- I'm pretty sure you'll be all over the french croissants.' she giggled, poking his stomach.

'I love you,' he breathed, staring into her eyes, his hand cupping her cheek.

'I love you too.'

'Forever.'

'Forever.' She echoed, not being able to help the grin that spread across her face. 'We're going to Europe.'

'We are going to Europe.'

 _Thank you so much for reading! Please review and hopefully see you for the sequel 'Runaway' X_


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